Rocky Fortune: The Shipboard Jewel Robbery 10/20/1953

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio, where we bring to you the greatest old-time radio shows. Like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube, and thank you for donating at choiceclassicradio.com. Frank Sinatra, transcribed as Rocky Fortune. NBC presents Frank Sinatra, starring as the footloose and fancy-free young gentleman, Rocky Fortune. Hi. You know, sometimes my friends ask me, Rocky, why can't you hold a job? That's a good question. And I don't know the answer. Maybe I just get restless a second. Anyway, whatever it is, me and steady employment don't get along. Now, you take the last job I had, stew it on a big luxury liner from the muted in New York. I figured I'd like to see the ocean, you know? And a couple of guys were trying to help me, too. Only they wanted me to see it the hard way from the bottom. Come in. Pardon me, Miss Nightingale. This is sick, Bayonet. Yes, something wrong? My heart is going pit-a-pat. I beg your pardon. Nothing blue eyes. I'm the steward from A-deck. I came for the pills. Pills? The Jemimine for Lady Drupesnute. You know, the Duchess in A-7. Oh, you mean Lady Harkness. Anything you say. Well, you'll have to wait a moment for Dr. Harper. You'll be back. That's too bad. Is something wrong, Mr. of... Fortune. Rocky Fortune. No, why? You keep staring and winking. Oh, I just got something in my eye. I'm just trying to wink it out. You better let me take a look. Oh, it just sit down there in the light. How's this? Lean closer. Like this? A little closer. Does this make it? That's too close. Now, which eye is bothering you? Right now, both. Try the left one. Open wide. Ah! Your eyes, I mean. Oh. Ah. Don't be fresh. Don't be so beautiful. I don't see a thing. I do. Please, Mr. Fortune, you're not cooperating. I don't even know your name. My name is Helen Travers, R-N. For real nice? For registered nurse. Now, about the eye. Do you mind if I wash it out? Honey, you can do anything you want. Would you like to take out my tonsils or saw me in half? Anything. Just name it. You're impossible. Oh, still. Ow! That's for being so fresh. Something wrong, Mr. Travers? Oh, hello, Doctor. The steward would like some dramedy. Cece, you don't look well. I haven't looked well since I was nine. It's for a passenger in A-7. A-7? That's Lady Hockness, isn't it? That's right. I'm afraid I can't give you any more. What's wrong, Doc? The chief steward was up less than an hour ago to get some dramedy for Lady Hockness. Stuff isn't candy, you know. The chief? He just sent me up. There must be some confusion here. I think you'd better check. All right, Doc. Sorry. Not at all. It was a pleasure. I hope your eye improves. Yeah, the wash seemed to help it a little bit. Say, maybe I could come back later on for another eyeful. I'm afraid my boyfriend wouldn't approve. Anybody I know? Yes. Yes, the chief steward. Goodbye, Mr. Fortune. I walk out on deck, still thinking about Helen Savas-RN, which stands for registered knockout, and leg it down to A-deck. I get my hand on the door knob of A-7 when I hear something which ain't exactly music. Lady Hockness! Lady Hockness! Open up! Open up! When nothing happens, I put my shoulder against the door and heave. When nothing happens, I try the knob, and it opens. I practically fall into the cabin, which is dark in the inside of a coal miner's boot. The reason I fall is quite simple. Lady Hockness is sped out on the broad loom like a dead lizard. I take one look and reach for the phone. Give me the ship's dock to Honey Hurry. Hello, doc. This is Rocky Fortune. I'm in cabin A-7 and the place looks like Act II of Varsnik and Olay. So you better get down here before... Whoever it is has been hiding behind the door when I come in. I never know what hits me. The top of my head exploded and the floor kept coming up to meet me. I thought it was only a long time before, and I must have had some crazy dreams on the way down. Rocky! Huh? What? Up here, on this cloud. Well, Helen, how'd you get away up there? I flew. Come on up. How? Fly. Are you kidding? Try it. You can fly. Spread your wings. I can't. I can't. Maybe I've been grounded. Try it again. That's it. Flat harder. I'm off the ground. Hey. Hey, I'm falling. Helen. Helen, I'm falling. Helen. I'm falling. Helen. Take it easy, Rocky. My wing. I can't fly. Who can? Come on. Snap out of it. I... Hey. Where am I? In ship bay. What happened? My arm... Your arm is in a cast. How come? You must have fallen and sprained it. Dr. Harper told me to put a temporary cast on it, just in case it's badly hurt. See, it feels like lead. What hit me? I don't know. We found you stretched out on the floor of Lady Hartnett's cabin. Well, how's the patient? Say, you look awful. We've been through that already. How do you feel? Ah, arm hurt. Not bad. Yeah, let's have a look, huh? Well, it's a nice job, Miss Travis. Thank you, Doctor. Oh, fortune, if you can make it, the captain would like to see you. What's on his mind? Well, I don't know for sure, Mr. Fortune, but I guess it's the $50,000 worth of jewelry that was stolen from Lady Hartnett's. I stagger down at the old man's cabin, feeling like somebody left me in one of those fancy washing machines with the dial set on rinse dry. When I get there, the reception committee included Lady Hartnett, who is about 60, wears a tweed suit and talks like an English Tallulah. The chief steward who looks like a clothing dummy in the old man. 350 pounds of human meanness. Close the door, Stuart. Hi. I believe you know Lady Hartnett. Hi, hi. And the chief steward. We've had the pleasure. Sit down. Thank you. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Is this the man you saw Lady Hartnett? Young man, would you mind bending over? Me? You, hop to it. Okay, but what for? When you see it's dark and I'd been asleep. When I opened my eyes, I only saw this strange man leaning over me. I screamed and he put a pillow or something over my face before I could get a good look at him. Is this the man? Well, it might be, Captain. All right, Fortune. Straighten up. Do you mind if I sit down, Captain? I've had a hard tap on the skull. You will remain standing in the presence of a ship's officer. Thanks. No insolence? Excuse it. Now, would you mind telling me what this is all about? Fortune, there is $50,000 worth of jewelry missing from this cabin. I don't suppose you'd like to confess. Confess? Sure. I've been waiting all night to confess. You see it was like this. Yes, Mr. Waters. Yes, sir. I kept him through the portholes, see, and Lady Hartnett, see, it was asleep. I scragged the ice. I beg your pardon. Heist of the jewels. She started to wake up, so I smothered her with kisses. Then she screamed. I saw I couldn't escape, so I called the dock and the phone. Then I carefully swallowed the jewels, hit myself on the head with a piece of stale salami, broke my own arm, and passed out. And I'd be very happy to sign a statement. That's screamingly funny, old boy. How'd you like a punch in the jaw? Just try it, Hercules. That's enough from both of you. Mr. Waters. Sir. I want Mr. Fortune's belongings, sir. If you don't turn up those jewels, you have my permission to comb the entire ship from 10 to 10. Yes, sir. Mr. Fortune, you may consider yourself discharged. You are confined to crew quarter. Just a minute, Captain Bly. Well? Don't you think this amateur gumshoe worker ought to be left to the law? Mr. Fortune, in case you are not familiar with the maritime code, on this vessel, I am the law. I execute a very unflattering salute with my good wing and stagger back to my bunk where I fall into the sack like a dead man. Only trouble is I can't sleep. My headaches, my arm aches, and my heart aches. In about 1 a.m. after three hours of whirling like a drunken dervish, I climb out of the hammock and head to sick bay. A figure and I can pick up some sleeping pills. I get to the sick bay door just in time to hear voices inside. Don't try to give me that. I tell you a truth, Larry. Can I tell you you're a liar? Larry, please. Nobody's going to double-cross me, I'm particularly not my own girl. Larry, you've got to believe me. I'll give you one more chance to tell me the truth. But I told you. All right, baby. You want to play rough. Larry. No? Okay. No, I'll give you one last chance to tell you the truth, Larry. No, I'll give you one last chance to tell you the truth, Larry. No, I'll give you one last chance to tell you the truth, Larry. No, I'll give you one last chance to tell you the truth, Larry. No, I'll give you one last chance to tell you the truth, Larry. No, I'll give you one last chance to tell you the truth, Larry. No, I'll give you one last chance to tell you the truth, Larry. No, I'll give you one last chance to tell you the truth, Larry. No, I'll give you one last chance to tell you the truth, Larry. No, I'll give you one last chance to tell you the truth, Larry. No, I'll give you one last chance to tell you the truth, Larry. Rocky. I suppose they'll hang me for mutiny now. Oh, well, it was worth it. I go back to my pad and spend a few more restless hours trying to figure out what goes between Larry, the steward, and Helen Travers. In the morning, I wake up and head back to sickbay for a checkup on the arm. How's it feel? Hurts. I think I'd better X-ray in case it's a green twig fracture instead of a spring. Does that mean you take the cast off? No, no. You can X-ray right through the cast. I'd hate to spoil in this Travers' beautiful work. Her beautiful work weighs about a ton. How long I wear it, Doc? Let you know after the X-rays. Just step over here, please. Now, place your arm right here. That's fine. You just hold that, huh? Now, this whole steady... Ah, good. That's fine. You wait here. I'll go into the dark room and develop it. Say, Doc, is Miss Travers in this morning? No, no. She said you didn't feel well. What a bad night, I expect. I expect she did. This will only take a minute or two. Just make yourself comfortable. I sit down and slough my way through a couple of issues of National Geographic while the Doc steps into the dark loom. After a little while, I have a visitor. Oh, it's you. Come on in, Chief. Looking for a little medical aid? I'm looking for Helen. Oh, that's a lovely mouse you got under your eyes. You bump into a door? Very funny. Have a seat. The Doc's in the closet developing some X-rays. Is she here? Haven't seen her. Say, they find the missing jewels yet? You know Donwell, they haven't found them. Did you look in a captain's cabin? You know, I don't trust him. He's a sneaky character. Fortune, when we get into New York tomorrow, the police are going to have a little talk with you. And frankly, I wouldn't want to be in your shoes. Chief, I'm going to level with you. If you were in my shoes, I'd throw him away. What's that? It came from the dark room. Try that door there. Locked. There's another door that leads to the office. Come on. Here. Helen. Doctor. Doctor. Holy smokes. Is he... Stone dead. Doctor Harper. Take it easy, baby. You can't do him any good now. What happened? I don't know. I came in late. I wasn't feeling too good. I remember that he wanted me to change the developing solution because he was going to X-ray Rocky's arm. So I went right into the dark room. First I thought I was alone. He was so dark. And then I saw him. I saw him on the floor with his scissors and his bag. Larry. Larry. He's been murdered. Take it easy, honey. Come on, chief. You better notify the skipper. And also better radio than the New York Carver police to meet us. While the chief steward goes over to phone the old man, it suddenly occurs to me that I'd better have a couple of ready answers. I go back in the little dark room to take another look at Doctor Harper and snoop a little. This one I think I've struck oil the skipper bodges. Fortune! Yeah? I don't want anything touched. Just window shopping, Skipper. You were under arrest. What's the charge? Or don't you need one? The charge is murder. Now look, Captain. You will be paced under guard in the forward riserate until the police board ship. Just what makes you think I slipped at the Doctor Harper? You were alone with him when the chief steward arrived. He was in the dark room. You had plenty of time to kill him and go back to the examining room. And you'll have plenty of time to pay for it too. The rest of your life, I predict, Mr. Fortune. I got news for you, Skipper. As a fortune teller, you got a crack in your crystal ball. The lazarette is a small iron box down in the hold of the ship, just big enough for me, a couple of mice and a few hundred feet of anchor chain. A couple of deck hands take turns guarding me, which consists of sleeping on a little cot just outside the bulkhead door. I get three square glasses of water a day and all the bread that me and the mice can eat. I am not happy. On your feet, Mr. Fortune. Well, well. And to what do I owe this pleasure? To the fact that I want to talk to you. Is that gun just a conversation piece or do you always carry it? The captain authorized your guard to carry sidearms. I'm your guard for the next watch. Just the two of us? Just the two of us. How cozy. Get back against the wall and keep those hands above your head. Anything you say, Larry. I'm interested in what you say, Mr. Fortune. Concerning what? Concerning what happened to those jewels. How should I know? I say you've got them. You can smoke and drama me. I'll give you one more chance to start talking. And if I don't? I empty this gun at you. Wait a minute, Buster. That's homicide, remember? I can always say you tried to jump me. I don't get this. Is there a reward or are you interested in those jewels for personal reasons? Just start talking. Okay, I'll talk. And make it good. I'll make it as good as I can. Is this good enough? I had my hands up in the air and I brought the arm with the cast down on the top of the skull as hard as I could. He went out like a wet candle and I cracked the plaster cast right down the middle. I was still trying to figure out my next move when I discovered we were not alone. Pull up your hands. Sure, it's getting to be a permanent position. Hand me that gun. Help yourself. Right. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. I'll take it. They'll be coming aboard when we reach quarantine in the morning. So I am back in the Bastille with my rodent companions. I spend the rest of the night trying to imagine what it's going to feel like when they sit me down in the sink-sink-chip and dare with wiring by Con Edison. Trouble? We'll excuse the cliche, but it shouldn't happen to two dogs, because one dog couldn't handle it all. Along about daybreak, I am nervously peeling pieces of plaster off my arm when I get the shock of my life. But before I can recover, somebody arrives. All right, Photon, on your feet. I've been on them all night. Let's go. The police cut us, we'll be here in 15 minutes. Now look, Captain, before the John Dom start working me over, I think I can crack this case. I'm serious. I can trap the docks' murder in just 10 minutes. Will you listen to me? No. Well, can I at least get some medical attention? What for? This cast is falling off, and I'd hate to appear in a police line up with a crummy cast. It might look like you twisted my arm. I'm not an unduly cruel man, Photon. We'll let the nurse take a look at it. That a boy, Captain. I knew that underneath that rough exterior that beats a heart of solid stone. 10 minutes later, I am in the sick bay, feeling like an oyster which has just escaped from six months in an undersized shell and is about to be eaten alive. Rocky, I was so worried about you. Hi, baby. When the Captain told me you'd broken the cast on Larry's head, I... How is he? He's sleeping it off in the Captain's cabin. Let's get that new cast on you, Ron. How about a new arm while you're at it? Let's get the old one off. The arm of the cast? No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm only going to use the arm of the cast. Hey, take it easy. It won't hurt. Yeah, I'll just tap it a few times with this mallet. And there. What's the matter, honey? Matter? Nothing. Don't kid me, baby. You look like you just shot six holes in the high eighties. There's nothing wrong. Suppose I tell you what's wrong. All right. The jewels are missing. What jewels? The Lady Harkness loot. loot. The jewels you mixed into the plaster for this cast on my arm. You're crazy. I'm crazy like King Solomon. You and Larry boy heist of those jewels. Larry did the muscle work and conked me when I came into the cabin at the wrong moment. Then he got scared and passed the jewels to you. But you knew that they'd search the ship so you put them into that plaster cast on my arm. Figuring you'd get them back after the ship made port and we were all assured. That's why you were so nice and sweet to me. I was worth plenty to you. You've got it all figured out haven't you? All figured out. I even figured out why you knocked off the good doctor. Tell me. I'd be interested to know. You didn't plan on us taking any x-rays of my arm in the cast. And you knew the x-rays would show those jewels and that would fix your cute little wagon but good. So you knocked him off and ruined the plates. I noticed the ruined plates in the dark room. Finished. I ran out of gas. You can save your breath and just put up your hands. You too. I'm gonna need a special game warden if this keeps up. Get over there against the wall. My favorite position. All right. Where are they? Where is he? I'll give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a chance to give you a You heard what she said? I was listening to the portholes. So what kept you? I just wanted to give her enough rope to hang herself. You nearly gave her enough to include me. Oh, sorry. You know, I must apologize for you. Until you showed me how the jewels had been hidden in your cast, I really didn't believe a word you said. Forget it. I got a dishonest face. Well, naturally, if there's anything I can do to make up for it now. Just one thing, Skipper. About my job, you remember how you threatened to fire me? Yes. Well, fire one ready, Gridley, because if you don't, I quit. Tonight NBC Radio has presented transcribed Frank Sinatra as that footloose and fancy-free young man known as Rocky Fortune. Others in the cast included Tony Barrett, Lynn Allen, Marvin Miller, Norma Varden, and Shep Menken. Tonight's script was written by George Lefferts and Andrew C. Love directed. Eddie King speaking. Now to tell you about next week's adventure, here's Frank Sinatra as Rocky Fortune. Sometimes I don't know what this younger generation is coming to. Do I ever tell you about the 10-year-old cowboy who held up the stagecoach with a water pistol and got away with 50 grand? Of course, I thought the kid was only kidding. What is the man in the hotseed said? Brother was eyeing for a shock. I'll tell you about it next week. See you around. Next week, then, tune in again. I'll see you next week. I'll tell you about it next week. See you around. Next week, then, tune in again when Frank Sinatra returns as Rocky Fortune. One of the finest things anyone can say about you is that you're a good neighbor. That spirit has been a tradition in American life all through the years. Today, in hundreds of cities, this spirit of goodwill is expressed in a different way. It's expressed in our support of the local community chest or united fund. This support is the modern way of being a good neighbor. Through your community campaign, you can make just one yearly contribution that takes care of many needs. You know that your money is collected and administered honestly and efficiently. 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