Over Sexualized And Under Valued | Girls Gone Bible

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The same Monday.com that your team will actually love using. The same Monday.com with an easy and intuitive setup. Go to Monday.com and try it for free. Yes, the same Monday.com. Hey guys. Hey GGB. I'm Ange. I'm R. And this is Girls Gone Bible. We are a faith-based podcast where we talk all things spirituality, mental health, the Bible. We love Jesus so much here. We live our lives. I have the flu. We live our lives completely rooted in biblical values. We love Jesus. We seek the face of God every day of our lives. We are on a journey of being disciples of Jesus. We're not just Christians. We're not just believers. We are disciples of Jesus. And this podcast is meant to help you and aid you on your journey with Jesus. So if you're new here, we always say, come as you are. Just don't stay that way. What's up, R? What's up? You got the flu. I have the flu. How many times have you had the flu this year? None this year. I think I've only had the flu twice this year. And last year, do you remember, like around Valentine's Day, when we went to Nashville, I had the flu. I had it so bad. And I want to tell you guys a little story really quick. So Ari and I are going to Buffalo, New York, in Ontario this weekend for our GGB tour. We've been off of tour for five months. I listen to Jesus, like listen to how kind God is and how things don't make sense right away. But in the end, literally the scripture, you don't know what I'm doing right now, but later you will. So I'm packing up all my stuff, getting ready to go to Ontario tomorrow. And I can't find my passport anywhere. And I'm like, this is not good. I'm calling my mom. I tore my entire house apart. I know it's at my house because Vilma saw it in December at my house and I haven't used it. So it's somewhere, but I swear I looked everywhere for my passport. Anyways, I just drive to come film and I'm on the phone with my brother and he's helping me figure it out. And we're trying to see if I can do like a 24 hour one, but I was planning on going home tonight again and just looking for it. And then my brother, Julio, I send him a photo of my passport, my old one. And he looks at it and he goes, Ang, your passport expired two days ago. And by the way, Ari just looked at hers. Hers expires next week. I know I gotta get a new one. We were both asking for it. And then I realized whatever, long story short, I'm now taking a red eye tonight to Buffalo because our first show on Thursday is in Buffalo. I'm taking a red eye to Buffalo. I have a passport appointment in the morning because our Ontario show isn't until Saturday. So God willing, I will do the 24 hour passport tomorrow, have it for Ontario. If you guys are watching right now, please pause and pray, even though you'll watch this on Friday, God exists outside of space and time. So he can answer your prayers now that you pray later. So anyways, I'm like thinking about this and I'm like, dude, God is so kind because as I couldn't find my passport and I was like, this must be the enemy. This is spiritual warfare. I can't find my passport. Literally, Jesus is like, I'm purposely not going to let you find your passport so that you can look at a photo and realize that it's expired. Because had that not happened, I wouldn't have looked. I wouldn't have looked. I would have gone to the airport tomorrow, tried to get on the flight and they would have been like your passports expired and then I wouldn't have had time to go to the 24 hour and do the red eye and all the things. Anyways, so I say all that to say, you never know why things happen the way that they happen. Don't always assume something is immediately so bad when God could be doing something. So can you get the passport? You guys will see on Saturday whether we got it or not. I pray and I really hope we don't have to cancel the show, but if I don't have a pass, oh, I really, really, really, really, well, be praying guys, just be praying guys that we get to get on a flight with the flu is a literal nightmare. I mean, come on. I'm like, it's okay. I'll be okay. It's not the first time the full but the chills though are like the worst. The worst. I won't get you sick. And when I have the flu, it's even more of a nightmare because I am such a baby when I'm sick. You ate being sick so much. I am such a baby when I'm sick. I actually am like planning my funeral. You really? Like, you know that meme when the ladies and like the white, what is it called, the wipes zip up death bag? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like wailing or down the chair and it's like when you find out you have like a cough. Were you scared during COVID? Honestly. Because you're a hypo contract. So were you like, what did you think? Yeah, I was really. Yeah. I mean, I felt like I was literally dying, but I would be more scared if I would have gotten that vaccine. Yeah. I didn't realize how smart I was until everybody around me was pressuring me to get the vaccine and I was like, nah. And you didn't get it. I never got it. And I got so pressured. I'm so proud of myself. Well, good for you for not letting people bully you into doing something that you don't want to do with your body. Your body. No, that is a bad slogan. Okay. So what are we talking about today? Well, last night we were just thinking what do we talk about? And I just thought why not talk about sexualization? Yeah. You know, I was in Miami for a little bit and I just saw so much and social media and I just seem like I think girls really need that. Even guys. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. So what are your thoughts? I mean, we have so many thoughts. I have so many thoughts. I think the first thing I want to say is like, Ari and I are really similar in this. This is going to be like a girl to girl and girl to guy conversation around feeling sexy, being sexy, dressing sexy and like Ari and I obviously both have like provocative paths. We don't come from a life of purity. We don't come from a life of modesty. We've been really open about that. And it's been like genuinely the greatest joy of my life to enter into complete purity and pursue holiness with everything that I am, everything that I have. And then also living a life where I'm not seeking that sort of validation for men, for men to think that I am hot or to think that I'm sexy. When I think when I was younger and we've talked about this before, but like not only did we not grow up in biblical houses, we also like were raised by Hollywood and we are raised by the world and sex sells and everything is so we live in the era of only fans and we live in the era. And I just want to say like whoever is listening to this, this is for everybody. But this is especially for the girls who come from like where Ari and I come from who you're walking this line of like, we don't know. I just think like when you grow up in a biblical household, you know things that we didn't know. And then when you don't and you're trying to change your life and you're trying to pursue all these things and you're trying to pursue godliness, it's really hard to break it. And when you have people around you that aren't living that way, who aren't dressing and acting that way, it's even harder to break it. And so we want to talk to the girls who are in that middle place who don't know whether they're able to go all in like that or whether it may be you're still seeking that sort of validation. And I'll just speak for myself and saying like growing up probably since I was like 14 years old, I remember beginning to sexualize myself. I'm 14. Yeah, like super young. I remember being a freshman in high school. Yeah, I think me too. 14. Yeah, that's when you're a freshman. So young. Can you imagine 14 year olds today? And I really think it began one, obviously not being raised in a biblical household, but also like being sexualized by other people, being sexualized by boys at school. I remember being in elementary school, and I have really early memories of boys looking at me that way or talking to me or talking about my body. And I just think like, if you're not talking to your kids openly about this stuff, you are leaving, you're just leaving such an open door for their minds and their perspective to be shaped by what's going on at school. And so I have a sense of like almost the innocence that I had when I was a kid was almost like taken from me in a way where like since people saw me a certain way, I kind of adopted that myself. And then I get into high school and of course, a fragmented relationship with a dad and not having that stable upbringing, potentially hearing men around me speaking about women. That's another thing for girls too. The way that we hear the men we grew up with speak about women is often how like what shapes the way that we see ourselves. And it really contributes to the sexualization of ourselves and like how we move through the world. So by the time I'm 14, I'm in ninth grade, I remember wearing these little dresses. I remember buying a pushup bra that pushed my bra or my whatever as high as possible. Like I remember being so young and wanting to be perceived this way. And that's how I felt loved. And that's how I felt desired. And that never stopped. It only got progressively more, it was only progressed from there. And then so I'm in my 20s and it's the same thing. You know, it's almost like a power move to where like, you know, it's just the cheapest way to get somebody to like you. It's the cheapest way to get a man to like you. It's the most surface level connection that there is. Attraction is so important. But a guy thinking you're hot, guys will literally think anything is hot. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's just like, it's just cheap. It's so cheap. And so one of the hardest things that I've walked through is breaking this sexualization of myself and realize saying that like, I don't want to be seen that way. I don't want men to look at me that way. You know, and there's so many different ways because there's been a journey even in that. But like, that's kind of what led me there. What do you, how do you feel about it? Yeah, same. Yeah. Like it's, I think when I heard you about like the father thing, I started to think about what made me kind of sexualize myself. I mean, I think I tied my worth to being sexy. And when I would get a little bit of attention, I tied my worth to that because that's all I thought I was ever good for. Exactly. Right. Yeah. And then, you know, when I moved to Hollywood, I was so young, I was just 18. And then it's like crazy, my story. When I was in the entertainment industry, I mean, I just want you guys to learn. It's so good that we went through this and I don't shame myself, but there are things that are going to be out there forever that people can see. And I don't shame myself. I have been washed by the blood of the lamb. Yeah. But it's something that, you know, it will stay, stay out there. And so I just remember like getting the calls from my manager and her being like, listen, you just do it. Like you have to do what you have to do. Like a nude. Yeah. Like you have, and I remember being so young and being in this like, well, I have to do it if I want to make money, if I want to get my foot in the door. And so I would just do these roles and I remember coming home feeling so empty. And I would just book these roles just based on like the hot girl and I would just like sit there and I was just feeling, I would just feel so empty. And so I would just tie my worth to sexualizing myself. And then when Instagram came out, you know, I remember this was recently, this was three, four years ago. That's what I would tie my worth to. I thought feeling seen meant being sexy. What can I wear to look sexier or I won't get as many likes? What can I do if I don't look beautiful? I mean, I would literally tie my worth to Instagram likes. And then I would be like, I can't put. And the sexier the photo, the more revealing the clothing, the more likes you're going to get. Yeah. And like God forbid if we posted a just a normal photo, I was like, no, that will get no likes. No one will will like me. Exactly. And so it was just this constant rush. So post these photos where I would look so confident and beautiful, but it was just like emptiness wrapped up in confidence. Oh, I know. I remember being so obsessed with posting my Girls Gone Bible is proud to be sponsored by Grand Canyon University, an affordable, private, nonprofit Christian university based in beautiful Phoenix, Arizona. 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You know, May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and I feel like it's such a good reminder that just because you look okay on the outside doesn't mean everything feels okay on the inside. You guys, life really is a journey. In some days, you feel light, in other days, you just feel heavy. And I think so many of us try to carry that weight quietly, like we're supposed to have all the answers, or like we should just figure it out, or figure it out on our own. But the truth is, you guys, we're not meant to do life alone. And sometimes having someone who's just with you to listen, to understand, to help you sort through whatever you're feeling can make all of the difference. That's where therapy can be so powerful. It's a space where you can show up as you are and get support without feeling like you have to have it all together. BetterHelp has over 30,000 licensed therapists and has helped millions of people worldwide. They match you with a therapist based on your needs through a short questionnaire. And if it's not the right fit, you can switch at any time. If you've been feeling overwhelmed, stuck, or just like, just not yourself lately, this is your sign to check in with yourself. You don't have to be on this journey alone. Find support and have someone with you in therapy. Sign up and get 10% off, betterhelp.com slash girls gone Bible. That's better, H-E-L-P.com slash girls gone Bible. Body. Yeah. And it's just so sad to think about. And like, you add in like all the food and body issues that I've had throughout my life. And then this like incessant need for people to like think you have a nice body and like having so much of your worth wrapped up in the way that your body looks. And if you have abs and if like you look super seductive in this photo, guys will like you more. It's just like, it's just so sad. And it's such a cover up of like all of your insecurities. And it's so demonic. I remember feeling so like if I could use one word to describe what being sexy made me feel it was powerful. It's this like false sense of power that you feel. It's so demonic. And the truth is it is powerful. It's lust. It's the spirit of, I don't even know which spirit it is, but it's Jezebel. It's like there's a sense of it is Jezebel. The spirit of Jezebel isn't just like, she's provocative. She's manipulative. And like if we're all being really honest, the more we want to be sexy, the more we want to utilize being beautiful and sexy, it's manipulation. Yeah. We are manipulating people, men, whoever to get something for ourselves, to get that validation. That's what Jezebel is. She's manipulative. And so when I look back on that time, the reason my heart breaks so much is like, I just wanted to feel in clearly, I wanted to feel powerful. I wanted to feel worthy. I wanted to feel valuable, but really, I just wanted to feel safe and seen and loved and cared for. What was your journey and like how that broke? When do you feel like you started to realize like, oh, there's something not right here? Well, it's so funny because I, you know, when you look at your archives photos, my archive photos are my worst nightmare. The first day we posted our YouTube video, you were at a bikini shoot. I was at a bikini shoot. And if you guys could have seen this video that I posted in my bikini on the beach, and I literally thought I was doing nothing wrong, I was like, I look good. Yeah. You know? And so it just took a lot of pruning and growing and the word of God and community to and conviction of the Lord. And it was like, I don't know. It just, I think, you know, we undermine people. We need people. We need leaders. We need like Stephanie E.K. for me. That is my person. That is my person that I look at a leader. We need leaders that are led by God. Yeah. Yeah. And I look at someone like Stephanie E.K. and that is a woman who does not live a life of compromise. That is someone when I look at her and I watch her and I talk to her, I become a better me. Yeah. Because that is a woman who truly walks with God. Yeah. And so we need people that are more seasoned than us who are leaders that we can look to. Same with Phillip Mitchell, Michael Cullianos for you. He's made you a better woman of God. Yeah. We need people that we look up to. We need the word of God. We need intimacy with Jesus. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And for me, it was just, it's like, what is that scripture? Like I give you milk. I fed you milk and now I want to feed you solid foods. Yeah. Like I was drinking milk and he deals with you in processes and he understands why we are, how we are and how we grow up and why we do certain things. But I think as you keep following him and you stay in good community and you keep reading the word of God, that conviction, you can't, if you are chasing Jesus, you can't keep being the same person that you were. So true. You know? Yeah. I think something that was like crucial in our journey too specifically. And that's why like you, I don't know, sometimes we're like, man, people are so mean in the comments, which yes, like on the internet, it's hard for a lot of people who are in the public eye. But those beginning stages of GGB, our audience, it was like crucial for us that our audience was calling us out on every photo that we posted. I am so grateful. There are people on Instagram that I'm like friends with now to this day who were like gently rebuking me in the early days and like I love them for it. Those comments were so, so, so good for me. And I fought it for a little while and I was prideful and I was like, I don't need to be like these other Christian girls. I don't need to, we're different. We're different. And it's like, what are we talking about? What is that pride? I think it's just so, again, I've said it a million times, but sin is so blinding and it's so perverse that it will cause you to be like, I don't, I don't need to, that's just too much. That's too religious. It is so important for us to truly pursue a life of such purity and such holiness. And that's not to say that we always get it right. And this is where I want to move into now being modest for both you and I is so important. And we still get it wrong sometimes. And I even posted a photo recently where a really, really, a woman that I respect so much kind of gently was like, hey, Andrew, I just feel like your top is too low in this. And for me, I truly, I posted it and I was like, not, I wouldn't have even imagined that there was anything wrong with the top. And I respected this woman so much that I was like, oh my gosh, thank you so much for calling this out. I didn't think and I usually like run my photos by a couple of people too, sometimes if like my body showing or if like, I'm wearing a tank top or something. And I really didn't think there was anything wrong with the photo. But you know what, this woman that I respect so much said that to me, I'm going to listen. So it just, it takes such a humility to be like, clearly you see something that I don't see, you know, you don't have to take advice from strangers that you don't know or respect or like trust. But when someone who's seasoned like Stephanie Eke or anybody else tells you, hey, this is a blind spot, you're not seeing this correctly, I'm immediately like, I'm going to rely on what you're saying more than whatever it is because I come from this past. I come from a provocative past. I have been sanctified, washed, made new, but there's always like a temptation or an ability to go backwards. Oh yeah. It takes one step and you're and you go back, you know what I mean? Yeah. And there's still things that, you know, certain things that I will wear sometimes that probably I'm like, oh wait, maybe I shouldn't have worn that. Yeah. So it's like, it's a journey. Yeah, it really is. It's a journey and none of us are perfect. No. And I think just to speak on the comment thing, like what that person did for you was so good. But I think that we have to be careful because we are in such process. And like, I remember getting comments under our pictures and just being like, I don't want to be a Christian anymore. No, I don't. Like if this is how people of God are, like I and like, so we just have to be so careful with judgment. Yeah. Because I remember I needed love and I needed grace, but with truth. And so what that person did for you, like privately messaging you and saying that like she came to you with such grace. Yeah. And so if you are helping people right now and on their walk, I would just encourage you guys to just, you have to, you have to meet people where they're at. You have to love them. The amount of things that we saw at first were just like, what in the world? And that's obviously not what I'm talking about. Yeah, no, no. Not the mean people, you know. There's a lot of, yeah. But it was, I mean, there were times where I was like, what is this what Christianity is like? Well, it's so when you look at someone, I just, I think I have so much compassion for people who struggle in their walk because I was there. I think I have so much compassion for people who even seem hypocritical to other people. Yeah. Because you can really talk the talk and then have areas where you're not walking the walk because you're genuinely blind. Yeah, you really, though. I remember, I didn't think I was doing anything. No. Oh, are you kidding me? We went to, never mind. But we have a specific path. Typically it's people that are seasoned that have been in the Bible for, well, for years. Yeah, totally. And we were, we have a different path where we are on this journey with you guys, learning with you guys. I don't know where I'm going with this, but. No, it's, and something I wanted to talk about and tell me what you think about this. I, there's also an element to this too, where, and I think this is really important to talk about. And I feel like people don't talk about this enough. And we're not just talking about girls, even though this is probably more geared toward women, this is for guys too. But like when, when a girl is in a relationship or married, the temptation or the desire to essentially like peacock, right? You're like presenting yourself, putting yourself out there to potentially mate with someone in like animalistic terms. When you're single or in a relationship and you're like tight, or when you're in a relationship or you're married and you're like tie down, you are no longer presenting yourself or putting yourself out there for men. You know what I mean? I even realized that when I was in a relationship, like it was, oh my gosh, it was so, so, so, so, so, so, so easy to pursue modesty and purity because I'm like, there was this thing of like, oh, I don't, I literally don't want anybody to see me that way because I'm, I'm for this person. I'm just, you know, I'm, I'm heading towards this way with this person. So I, I don't want other guys to think I'm attractive. I actually want them to think I'm like a guy. Like that's where my mind was at. And now being out of a relationship and being single, and I think this is really important for girls to talk about is like, okay, now positioning yourself in the world that you're now single and you are kind of putting yourself out there to be pursued. And what does that look like? Because oftentimes then you will have these temptations and these desires of like, because when you're in a relationship with someone, you know that they like you, you know, that they think you're beautiful, you know, that they desire you and they're attracted to you when you're courting and you're dating and you're in that like vulnerable place as women and men, like, of course you have those feelings of like, but let me show them how beautiful I am. Let me show them how I have a nice body. Let me show them, you know what I mean? I wanted to talk to you guys about how like Ari and I now are both in this space of like, what does it look like to position yourself as a single girl or guy in a godly way to be pursued without feeling like you have to lean into being physically attractive to people. I have found myself, you're going on a first date, you're going on a second date, you're doing this and you're picking out what you're gonna wear and you're and you're figuring out and like, I have noticed a temptation or like even just a thought of being like, well, do I want this person to think I'm beautiful or like hot or you know what I mean? I just think we need to be really honest that even as a Christian woman, like you have these thoughts, of course you want to be attractive to the opposite sex. And it's been a beautiful journey for me in this season of being like, whoever I end up with is literally going to love my mind and my heart so much more than what I look like or how if they think I'm hot. All I can think about is like the time of being pregnant where your body is not looking like what it was before you were pregnant and only pregnant and moms would know this, but you got, I've heard from other moms, you got fluid going everywhere, things aren't looking right, things aren't like, things are weird and like what you want a man who's going to literally look at you like you are the most beautiful person in the world in that state, in like your least sexy, least beautiful state, that's the type of man you want to go for. And so positioning yourself to be sexy to guys is the worst thing you can do because you will attract. If you're anything like me, you try to live your life aligned with your values, your faith, your family, the way you show up every day. And at some point you start thinking about what you're actually leaving behind, not just in what you say, but in what you set up for people you love, because it's not just about building a life, it's about protecting it. 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And right now IQ Bar is offering our special podcast listeners 20% off all IQ Bar products, including the ultimate sampler pack, plus free shipping to get your 20% off text GGB to 64,000 text GGB to 64,000. That's GGB to 64,000. Message and data rates may apply. See terms for details. The wrong person. Yeah, you will attract someone who doesn't hold your hand and think you're so beautiful and only have eyes for you. The time where men cheat the most apparently statistically is when a woman is pregnant or postpartum. So that's why being sexy, being hot, being physically attractive should be so, so, so way down on the list. You know, and that's why it's so important to find your identity in Christ before anything. Yeah, because you're not tying your worth to Instagram photos to being sexy to all these things because you start to feel confident and anchored in the Lord. Yes. Everything starts to change. You get transformed inside and out. It's unbelievable. That's why I say don't worry about anything else, but the Lord, focus on him, focus on the word of God, being community, be with women or in a men's group where you go all in with Jesus. It transforms you. It transforms your heart. It transforms your mind. You go from wanting validation from man to being like, no, I want to serve you, God. I love the scripture that says, by the way, I'm wearing my Jesus image sweatshirt. Find his love. They have the best merch. Find his love and love him back like Jesus, come on. I love that. It's really heavy though for me. It is. I feel like I'm like, I'm pretty hot. You know. And first Samuel 16 verse seven, it says, the man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart. When you realize that it is all about your heart and humbling yourself and being like a servant, everything starts to change within you. You're like, oh, and then you just, instead of trying to be sexy, you're trying to be this or trying to be that, you're trying to be more humble. Yes. You know what I mean? You're trying to learn how to forgive more. You're trying to be, you're trying to serve. You're trying to help people. That's what's, that's a beauty of this. Everything starts to change. Yeah. And I want to speak to, I keep hearing only fans this whole episode. And I just know, maybe I didn't do only fans, but guess what? I did some things that were like only fans. I did roles that what didn't, doesn't matter the title. I did things just like you guys, if you got, some of you guys are listening, I understand. I see you. I really see you. And I know the brokenness you feel. And I know when you're done with it, the emptiness that you feel. And I just want to say that I see you because I was there. It is so hard to be young when you don't grow up in this thing. And you're just trying to make it, make it. We live in Hollywood. My whole life since I'm 18, they're telling you, do what you got to do by all means compromise. Do what you need to do. Not when you're in the kingdom of God. Because let me tell you something. God will have, God will establish you in a way when you decide to not go down the kingdom of the, the, the enemy's playground. You know what I mean? And so when you're sitting there being like, but it's quick money, but it's really good money. No, that's the devil's money. And God will raise you up and establish you. He did that with me. He did that with Angela when we decided to do the hard thing. You know what I mean? So I just want to let you know I see you and what God has for you will never require you to dishonor him by keeping it. You need to hear this. When he sees you do in the right thing and not going down the devil's playground, I can't imagine how he's looking at you being like, oh, you have no idea for him to, for God to, to partner with you. It cannot be a life of compromise. That is one thing that I learned. It cannot be a life of compromise. And I know it's hard. I know it's hard living in, living in this thing where it's hard. It's just, it's just hard. You're looking at social media. You're seeing people sexualize themselves. They're making millions of dollars, but it's not what you think it is. It really isn't. We've been in this thing. We've seen it and I've lived it and it has eaten me up and spit me out. It is not, spit me, spit me out. It's not worth it. It really isn't. I can't believe what God did in my life by humbling myself, by being obedient, even though I didn't know how I was going to make my next paycheck. I really didn't. I was so scared. I was like, how am I going to make money? What am I going to do? And he literally changed my life in one year. Actually, I think speaking to the girls, I think what matters, I think that because it's like, okay, so how do you practically rewire your brain? How do you practically like, what can girls do today to not be provocative? Because it's not easy. I know firsthand, I remember being like, first the first step is awareness. It's like, okay. Yeah. The first step is awareness. I want to be a pure vessel. I want to be a pure bride. I want Jesus to come back and find me pure and on fire for him. And so that's first things first. We are called to be holy as God is holy and he makes us holy with his truth. That's the first step is just awareness, knowing the truth of scripture, that Jesus died on the cross for the forgiveness of our sins and also to wash us clean. And impurity has to go in Jesus' name. And it begins with not only being aware, okay, I don't want to live a life that's provocative. I don't want to be provocative to the point where another person, a man, feels something because of the way I'm presenting myself. That's one of the driving faster. First, it's Jesus. That's the driving factor for me. I want to be pure for Jesus. I really, really want to be pure for Jesus. And then I also have such a intense conviction that I don't want guys to feel something because of me. I don't want them to go through that. It's just sad. It's disgusting. Like I don't want to provoke men sexually. I don't want to wear something or present myself in a way that causes a brother to stumble. You don't want to ever do anything. It's disgusting to make someone stumble. Yeah. And I just think this is what we're here to tell you guys today. There's so much scripture that talks about being pure, that talks about not being lustful, that talks about not being sexually immoral. And in even simpler terms, I would just say being provocative and being sexual is cheap. It's demonic. It's gross. And it's not the life that we're called to live. We're called to live a life of true purity. And that doesn't mean it's going to be perfect. Yeah. That doesn't mean that Ari and I have a ministry and we have a temptation all the time to be desire. Of course you do. It's normal. It's especially if you've lived a certain way before, that stuff doesn't just completely forever go away. But when it does come up, you combat it with the truth that I am called to be holy, set apart, sanctified. I don't want to live like that. I don't want people to see me that way. Yeah. And I'll just add to that. It's literally, it's just relationship. I remember having that moment of being like, wait a minute, I'm doing ministry, but I'm still in habitual sexual sin. And that double life of being like, you literally picked me up off the bathroom floor. You saved my life. I'm preaching the gospel when I have no business doing this. What am I doing? You literally gave your life for me. You love me. You helped me. You have been with me when nobody else has. And that is that it's that moment of like, I don't want to do this anymore. I want to honor you with everything in my being. It is my sacrifice, my reasonable sacrifice to want to live for you and commit to you and sacrifice for you. Because it is hard sometimes living in this world. It really is. But I do it because I love you over everything. And so that's what sacrifice and commitment is. And I love what you said about when I face them as the bride, when you face him as a bride, you want to, you want him to look at you and to trust you and to look at his bride and be like, she's sacrificed and committed for me. And so it starts with that. Then it starts with community. And it's literally the word of God. I mean, I even went for as a beginner, I will read this thing and I will start weeping. I don't even know what I'm reading sometimes. That is the Holy Spirit encountering you. You want to hear from God. It's in his word and that's when it transforms your heart. And then you just stay around believers that are on fire that can help you. And then I just wrote down a few things regarding Instagram, because it's the biggest thing before posting or dressing a certain way, pause and ask yourself, why? What am I doing it for? I saw when you put up a poll, can I wear this to the gym? And it's a heart posture, you guys. It's not like to be miserable and to like this isn't, it's not like this religion scary thing. It's just alignment with God. It's, does this honor you today? And then you start to lose taste and all those things. I look back, I'm like, oh my gosh, what was I thinking? It's the hardest thing to look. It's so hard to, and I hope I enter into more of a space of compassion for my past self. But when I see photos of myself with the most seductive face, with the most provocative clothing, I'm like, sister, what is that? Like, but it's so normal in our world that we live in not for Christian world. Like, I can't imagine what the Christians were thinking when we first came on the scene, but to the world, we were probably pretty tame, honestly. Look at the glory that God shines through you. Of course. For other people, it is his glory that he has shined through you. Look at you now. It is amazing. You too, buddy. It is amazing the purity that you carry. And he has shined his glory through it, and he's loved you through that. He loved that girl. Like, he really loved that girl. I know he did. I know he did. It's just like, I see it though, and I'm just like, thank you, Jesus, for bringing me such a long way. But again, it's like for everybody watching, it's a continuous journey that you have to go on because the world is too loud. The world is loud. The messaging that we get sent. And this is one more thing that I wanted to say. I think being, I know, being provocative, being sexual, being all these things, it's an open door. It's an open door. It is an open door. It's evil. If it's impure, it means it's evil. It's demonic. And we like barely talk, we don't really talk about demons on here, but it's an open door. You're opening yourself up to confusion, to anxiety, to insecurity, to misplaced validation. Like, you're opening yourself up. That's why we don't follow Jesus in these ways and pursue purity because it's like just the right thing to do. It leads to something. It leads to life. It leads to peace. It leads to clarity. When you go out there and you're all sexual and provocative and all these things, it's an open door to confusion, to an identity issue, to even more insecurity. Because you're pursuing something that's not fulfilling or validating, it's actually the opposite. It makes you feel cheap and gross, even if you're not conscious of it. Does that make sense? It is the most empty life to just tie your worth to photos, to beauty, to all these outward things. And when you go into a relationship with Jesus, you realize, wait a minute, I'm so much more than that. I'm so much more than all of these things that I've tied my worth to, which I go home and feel so empty and lost and all these things. And then you start gaining confidence. When I look back at myself, I could not look people in the eyes. I was like, if I don't look this way, I'm not going to be accepted. If I don't have my time, that is so low and so sad. And I have so much grace for so many of you because I know the brokenness you feel. I know how you grew up. I know that feeling of you feel so broken. You just want to feel loved. You just want to feel seen. So if I put my shirt down, if I act like this, if I do my hair like this, I know. And listen, again, there's nothing wrong with wanting to feel beautiful. I love being feminine. You will catch me going to bed in a Reformation dress. I love it. I love makeup here. I mean, we talk about that all the time, but when you tie your worth to that, you will always feel empty. We need to find our identity in Jesus because that's when real freedom and peace and life. And I'll tell you, if I was making $2 an hour, I would just to have the life that I have now. It is not worth playing around in the devil's playpen, doing all these things for sex and money and loss and all these things for cheap money. It's not worth it. I promise you, take it for someone who lived it. Yeah, God would never, ever, ever, ever ask you to. Okay, you're smart enough to know when something's not working. Like when you can't focus at work, when you're dragging by at 2pm, or when your stomach feels like it's fighting after every single meal. Here's the thing. These aren't random symptoms. Your gut impacts everything from your digestion to your brain function to your energy levels. That's why I love just thrive probiotic. 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He would never ask you to sin to provide for yourself. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed of the renewal of your mind. Every day you sit down and you do the hard thing when you want to go to that job, when you want to make that quick money, when you want to go live with that boyfriend, when you want to go have sex outside of God's confident. It is the renewing of the word that will renew your mind. Talking about the renewing of the mind and just like you guys just have to know something. The simple gospel is Jesus fully God, fully man. God dwelt bodily in Jesus. Jesus dies on a cross for the forgiveness of our sins. His blood is shed by the stripes on his back. We're healed by the blood that is spilt. We are made new. We are washed clean. There is something so unbelievably supernatural that takes place when you truly live a life as a disciple with Jesus. Things that you never thought you could be free from, you will be free from. Oh, who the sun sets free is free indeed girl. Yes. And I, the way that the Lord changes you from the inside out, but it's a commitment. You have to commit to it and you have to want it. I was following Jesus, loving Jesus, encountering the Holy Spirit for years while being so provocative, so sexual. The photos that I would post, you would lose your mind and then I would post those photos. I would go through my archive. I'd post the most sexual photo with the Bible verse in the thing. And bless her. I really do have compassion for that girl because she really genuinely loved Jesus. She was just on a journey. Exactly. She was on a journey. But the reason why that's so crazy to me is because I was blind. I was blind, but when I finally saw the truth and I made the commitment, the Holy Spirit empowered me to change completely from the inside out. Guys, I was so lusty, so provocative. Everything about me, my eyes, just everything was lust. I was just lusty. I sit here today. I'm not saying I'm perfect and I have a million other issues that I can talk about in another episode. I don't struggle with lust at all. It's incredible. Like you can even attest, and that's not everybody's journey. And that's not everybody's story. But I will say it's possible. Yeah, she really does. Like I don't want it. I don't need it. Now, if I have a boyfriend and that's a whole other story, like you have to be careful and if a kiss can lead to, you know what I mean, feelings and all that stuff, we're just being completely honest. But the fact that I can sit across from a guy and literally nothing about me gives off any sexual energy when that's all I did when I was younger is just a testament that no matter where you are, no matter how far gone you feel, it's possible. If Jesus could do it in me, I promise you can do it in you. You just have to want it and then you have to commit to it. And then you have to get the right people around you to call you out. And you let the Lord work in you. You spend time with Jesus. You feel so convicted every time I like I get convicted so quickly when it comes in this area because it matters so much. When you truly see you see the cross, you see Jesus, you see the holes in his hand, you see everything he went through, purity should become one of the most important things in your life. And I remember when I, so for me, first of all, I just want to say, I feel so compelled to say this, I remember when I was going back, this is really vulnerable. But I remember going back and forth if masturbation was a sin. I couldn't, I was like, but is it, you know, and I want to let you guys know it is a sin. And every time you submit to the, he will never tempt you beyond your reach. There's always an escape. That's what scripture says. Every time you get tempted and you literally give into that temptation, you're literally handing yourself over to the enemy. And so I don't know if someone's watching this and you're still going back and forth and you're still, and you're still submitting to it and you still keep doing it. And then it's causing you to do it because it's that one, once you do that once and it causes you to do more and more and more. For me, it lost has been something that I've had to fight through. I really have. So I have to make the conscious decision every single day to pick up my cross, to die daily, to kill my flesh, to be in my word, to pray about it, help me with this. And that's what it looks like. Abide in me and I and you. Apart from me, you can do nothing. We have to be constantly abiding in Jesus to fight off all of these things and to stay pure. 100%. Yeah. And it's possible. Like it's, it's just, it's possible. And I'll just add to what Ari is saying. Self pleasure is impure point blank period. I don't care what any pastor said. I don't care what anybody said. Self, if it's not pure, it's impure. There's no way something like that is pure, right? Does it lead you closer to Jesus? No. So that's just, I have a really strong conviction about that too. And of course I went back and forth for a while too, because you hear so many different things. It's just, you, you want to be pure. And I remember a man saying to me, but I'm a man. Yeah. Not if you're a man of God. You're, you are met, you are called to have self control, be a leader and a protector. Yeah. Go get married. Like seriously, these are to the men that are like, but I have desires needs. No, I have, what is it called? testosterone. testosterone. No. Yeah. Guys, thank you for being with us today as we talked about lust, sexuality, masturbation, sexuality. And we talked about being sexual. No, I'm just kidding. Pray that we have our show in Ontario Saturday, please Jesus. We're gonna, it's gonna be fun. It's gonna be good. I know it. I'm getting that 24 hour passport. Pray guys, when you watch this, pray, pray, pray. Pray. Keep surrendering every day. Surrender it. Surrender everything. Surrender everything that isn't in the will of God. Keep being in community, confess your sins. Just keep going. Yeah. Because I promise you his glory is worth it. That other life isn't worth it. Yeah. It will eat you up and spit you out. That is not the life that God has called you to, to walk. Walk with him. I promise it will be the best decision you ever make. Yeah. We love you. And you can do it. You really can do it. We love you so much. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he turn his face towards you and give you peace. Shalom, shalom. We love you.