I Coffee's ready Excellent, excellent. I know this is your it's gonna be your first summer out here, so First summer if you have scoring mountain my first summer at scoring mountain. We're sure You know if you have questions if things come up you can always hit the radio I'm gonna be at a Hellow east, so you won't be able to see me obviously, but you know, sure. I'll be available on the radio It's nice nice. Oh enough. I see if I do see a fire um, I just I contact you or I go do I go do something do I go try and fight it? No, what no? You do not know you under no circumstances. Do you try to go fight it? Okay, so I leave the cabin and I try and grab as many animals as possible No, no, you see the fire you see the fire you call it it Okay, that's you that the whole job. Okay, come down. Are you mad at me? Sorry no, uh My cousin calling got me this job I just figured it seemed like an easy seem like an easy sort of peasy. Oh no, well job. No, it's I'm sorry. Yeah, no because you did orientation, right? Yeah, I was this is more just kind of me dropping by to make sure you've got everything set up in your tower Your whole job is you're gonna be here all summer you're probably not gonna see Another soul it's gonna be pretty lonely and you're gonna be watching for fires and if you see a fire you're gonna call it in That's the whole that's the whole The whole job. Okay, what's going to happen? Well, he said Do me a favor we need someone to watch for fires. Uh, it'll be the easiest job you ever had. Nothing's gonna happen Don't even don't even worry about it. Wow You know, I'm saying it's like it's like if you I got hired to watch for Superman in the skies like it's not gonna happen It's not no. It's not scored mountain has fires almost every year now. They're not big fires usually But that's because we catch them and you mentioned watching TV. There's no There's no TV. You don't even have electricity up here. Oh, what I brought a battery operated TV You I've never seen a battery operated Sony Visio before what is that? The son of Visio is a 62 inch Sony Visio. Yeah, I had to buy it from South Korea Uh, well, no, I mean how do you how do you get that up here? You just You hauled that up all these stairs up into the tower. You can't watch a TV up here. Oh speaking of Amazon Prime Do they deliver direct to this cabin or do I have to like walk down a hill or something? There's no no, I mean you'll you'll get your weekly ration dump in the bear box ration dump Yeah, you're you're you're you're you're food in your nettles and you know you're you're you're what not but There's no Amazon you can't you know, there's not even phone signal If you you have to call in through the radio there's only radio signal. Oh, I got a hotspot You got what I got a hot spot. There's no other. There's just no way a hot spot's gonna work I think Colin Huck Finn do Colin you I know your colors in Colin. He's he usually does this tower. He's usually absolutely miserable. I think there's a fire over there Or something there's uh, that's what is that oh it's somebody in an orange shirt Yeah, should I call that in or? No, it looks like yeah, that's the hiking trail There's gonna be lots of people hiking on that part of the hiking trail. Oh, so there won't be fires on the trails Behind them this entire time a fire has been slowly building and spreading Oh, no, I mean the hiking trails were for barbecue for some reason What's the reason? Well, it's probably because there's a bunch of barbecue with your bear box You're gonna want to get to that fast because the barbecue does not last And a bear box is It's a box to put your food in so the bears can't get to it. Oh, yeah, what if I want to feed the bears? Oh boy, well you shouldn't Okay, because if the bears know that there's food here then they can get they're gonna come keep coming back for it and bears can climb stares So you don't want to have a bear up here in your fire tower that's the There are more bear deaths than fire deaths on scorn mountain every year. Isn't it Isn't it smarter for me to leave food out so that my cabin is surrounded by bears So no one tries to come up here and fuck with me. Can you imagine What a fortress this would be if it was surrounded by hungry bears Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna get in my Jeep and we're just gonna drive Back to town and that's and you get a spend You get a spend summer in town. I think I think town's more your speed I brought all these guns You what I brought all these guns Colin said that you can basically do whatever the fuck you went up here No one can hear you or see you so I brought all these guns. I brought all this porn What are you gonna do with all these guns up? You shoot the guns watch the porn eat the food Shoot the guns watch the porn eat the food. I mean that is kind of what we do in these towers That's normal Colin The one thing that Colin served you right on is the guns and the food of the porn thing Everybody games their freshman 15 their first summer out here. Oh nice the 14 pounds of muscle in their fucking art. You know what I'm saying I I'm gonna get a tune of 15 from all the sushi. I'm gonna order up here does sugarfish come up here I don't even think we have sugarfish on the east coast. I think that's a I think it's an L.A. institution No sugarfish. I don't think I don't think there's I don't think so I mean it doesn't the point of living here Where are you from are you not from I thought you were like a town you didn't grow up around here Nope, I am from a little place called San Diego Spungy grass. We got real spongy grass Yeah, where are you from what's your name? I didn't even catch your name My name's Joe and I'm I'm basically from Scorn Mountain. I mean this is I was kind of a grew up here, you know Hmm, and is there a term for people born on Scorn Mountain Scorners or Scornborn. Oh, Scornborn. They call it a Scornborn. Yeah, yeah, that's that's something they call us You know say it's too easy not to yeah, it's too easy not to I mean that's we'd like to get away from it But it's too easy not to how many fires have you watched? Well, I've been up here for let's see 41 seasons and so 41 seasons. What are you LeBron James? How many seasons has LeBron played 21? Addle Aaron, what do you think of my new hair before you ask before you ask yes I did pull every piece of hair from my head because I was so stressed out about business finances Yeah, buddy that looks stressful. I love my new JPC wig. 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I'm going. He's he came with the thing. I I found him on fiber All right boys and girls our next animal is the great tawny owl Yeah, if you can tell his head is moving quite a lot. Ah he broke his neck No, no owls just don't have the same neck muscles or bone muscles as the rest of us bone muscles You funny kid Or bones as the rest of us um Who's ever looked to repair of binoculars before oh? I have I have yeah right two summers ago I broke my leg and I spent the whole summer just watching out of my Parents back window with binoculars. Oh Like a real window you saw murder Yeah, I saw my neighbor murder his wife Wow, I'm sure that was exciting to solve that crime and Serve justice the tawny owl they solved it really quick It was loud. I just saw it They didn't even need me to testify because there was no question. He did it Miss animals Yep, don't you want to ask how he murdered his wife? I want to talk about how the tawny owl can see from so far away The aider the dark what he ate her he ate her that's how he killed her or he killed her and then Does matter I mean it does matter but it did matter right right Mrs. Animal says it doesn't matter that a man Aid is why no no I'm just saying the tawny owl is actually What a owl is he I love that question well they eat their food whole because they don't really chew so they can eat basically Oh Oh, uh, hey miss animal yes Earlier when I said don't you want to know how the man killed his wife you didn't tell me I love that question You know what because I really don't love that question if you have a question about the tawny owl I'd love to answer it they eat their food whole and so when they poop it out I don't like it's laugh Um Sorry, it's basically the whole mouse. I really couldn't muster have been grossed out by that after Some of the things I've seen and you don't have to share any of this you can keep this to yourself No, my therapist that I shouldn't keep it to myself They said I should share about it because it helps me get over it probably with the professional and not in a I think you were a professional I am but I'm trying to teach you about the owl What animal yes, why is there a big tan line where your wedding ring might be Miss animals we're contractually I'm looking at to ask that question in every episode Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I know and I know um It's nothing personal that's it's nothing personal. It's just 12348 little riddles glue crew Listen to the rest of the episode now by starting your free seven-day trial at patreon.com such hey riddle riddle
