Summer House: Renaissance + Southern Charm Season Review!

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She is rejoining the real houses in New York. that's right carol i never thought she'd be back of course she appeared on watch what happens live and then she was at bravo con and so she was sort of folding herself back into the bravo verse but i never expected now she's going to be a friend of on the uh i suppose second or third reboot of roni they are completely rebooting from the reboots that that just happened a couple seasons ago so jenna lions is out and uba's out and brin's out uh the only people that are returning are Aaron, Cy, and Jessel. And then there's a few new people, and then there's Carol, who's going to be a friend of. Now, I got to be honest with you. I know everybody was celebrating the return of Carol, and I love Carol. I was always Team Carol on the show. You guys know on the podcast, I was Team Carol over Team Bethany. They got me a lot of heat. A lot of heat. A lot of heat. I say a lot of heat as if it means something. But anyway, I did get a lot of messages. as people were mad when I was Team Carol back in the day over Team Bethany. But my first instinct when I heard the news was like, and I hate to say this, but it was not very excited because I thought, well, she's joining that old cast. And unfortunately, what I think Carol needs is a foil. She needs some ridiculous people around her. And I don't think Psy, Aaron, and Jessel are that ridiculous for Carol to comment on. Also, she's like wildly much older than the three of them. However, I did get excited because it seems like they hired three new people. And I'm assuming that of those three new people, there's going to be at least one or two crazies. There was one of them that I did see some stuff on social media about that seems a little nuts. And so that got me excited because Carol needs that. Unfortunately, I think what worked for Carol in her original run on The Rail Houses in New York was the fact that she was surrounded by Luann, Dorinda, Ramona, all these crazies. And we all know Luann needs a foil. I can buy myself flowers. Luanne needs someone to call around on her bullshit. And so I do wish that Countess Luanne was still around with Carol's return, because I would love to hear Carol's response to Luanne's, her fedoras, for instance. That's something I would love to hear Carol talk about in a confessional. But it'll be interesting to see how Carol fits in with this new group and these new women who come on board. and I'm just hoping that some of these new women are nuts because I need some nuts on that franchise. And do we consider this? I would actually consider this like the third reboot because I feel like The Real House of New York, they had the original run the first few seasons and then remember they rebooted where they got rid of everybody except for Luann and Ramona and that's when they brought in Carol and Aviva and Heather and that was sort of a reboot on its own. And then after season 13, they rebooted again and they brought in the Aaron and Cy and Jessel and these new people. Jenna Lyons, who Jenna Lyons never worked. I mean, what was that about, you guys? I know everybody was excited about Jenna Lyons, but then when I look back on it, I'm like, what? Anyway, then they rebooted from that reboot. So this is like the third reboot, and I just hope they get it right, because the realists in New York deserve it. They do. What else is going on? I am all caught up on Southern Charm. I wasn't going to watch this season. I went through this journey with Southern Charm. I was finally going to give it up, because I've watched every season. Southern Charm back in the day, I think delivered some of the best reality TV programming of all time. And then it started to feel very stale to me. They leaned into the men a little too hard. I liked the Cameron and the Chelsies. That was when I was Naomi. When they were really firing on all cylinders for me, it was centered around those gals. And then they just started to shift the focus and be about Austin and Craig and Shep. And I'm like, I don't know if it's enough. And so anyway, I kind of decided this season that I was not going to watch. And then some people were telling me like, hey, maybe you should check it in. Maybe you should check in, tune in, catch up. And so the other night, I decided to put on Southern Charm, but I decided to start from episode seven this season. And that's on me. So I did miss a solid seven episodes of the season that I just did not watch. And I don't think I'm willing to go backwards and watch them. But I started with episode seven, and then immediately I was hooked and I got caught up in the last few days. So now we're on episode what, 13 or 14 this week. But I have so many thoughts about it. First of all, Sally and the chickens. What the fuck is going on with Sally and those chickens? So Craig, I guess, told her that she should get some chickens. And then so she went over to the Pets Mart and was like, where's the cocks at? And she got a few chickens, three chickens for Craig. And then not only that, but then she confessed her love for Craig before she even went through the checkout. So she had gotten these chickens and they were in a box. And then she decided that was a good time to confess her love for Craig, who Craig was not even interested at all. And so she's sitting in front of the kibble and she's like, hey, guess what, Craig? I really like you. And I'm thinking in my head, you better put those chickens back because he's going to tell you he don't care for you. And so you do not need to be going home with those chickens. Now, maybe she already did check out, maybe she swiped the credit card, but at that point you're at the store, you could definitely put them back. You could just say, hey, I changed my mind. Even if they charge you, at that point, even if they charge you, you were just humiliated in front of the crickets that people purchase for their snakes when you confessed your love to the sewing man, the pillow king. And so you were just humiliated on candid camera about it. So you definitely should have put those chickens back in their coops at the PetSmart because there's no way you should have been going home with them. And now I'm so invested in these chickens about like what's going on. She keeps saying then after that, she brought them home and then she's like, I fucking hate these chickens. I'm like obsessed with the chickens. Like she just every episode, she's like, God, I hate those fucking chickens. I hate the fucking chickens. And Sally, you guys, like, I, I gotta be honest with you. When Sally was first introduced to us, I had no interest in Sally. I thought, like, what are we doing with this person? And Southern Charm has had a lot of flop cast members throughout the past handful of seasons where it's like they come in and then they're gone. And you're like, what happened to that person? And you kind of don't even remember them. But Sally was one that I thought for sure was going to be one of those flop ones. And then she comes in, like, she's coming in. She comes in just, like, really looking for dick. like with all of them. She first hooked up with Shep, then she confessed her love to Craig. And then after Craig turned her down at the PetSmart or Pet Shop, wherever the fuck they were, then all of a sudden she's like, okay, well, I really want Austin now. And then they go on this cast trip. And she's just all over Austin's dick. And I'm like, girl, you need to find anybody else that's not mic'd up for a man. I mean, she's acting so desperate on camera. And I'm like, girl, you need to love yourself. I mean, what is Sally doing over there on Southern Charm on the gas trip, just running up to Austin. And at first I kind of thought it was a joke. Like, I thought she was being playful, but then I don't think it's a joke, you guys. It's like very, I don't think it's a joke. And I just don't know if she, I know Rod's in there, but she needs another gay man in her life to just say, girl, you know, that's always, that's always my solution for any gal out there who's kind of unsure of herself. You need a gay in your life to just say, girl, what the fuck are you doing? What the fuck? Because what the fuck is Sally doing going after Austin's dick. And none of these men are anyone that any of us should go after. Austin just got out of a relationship, but these men all have the Peter Pan syndrome. They're in their 40s. I don't know. Austin's probably in his 30s. But Shep's 105, and he's still got the Peter Pan syndrome because all these young gals go after him. And it's ridiculous. And Sally, if you're listening, please, girl, look in the mirror and love yourself and do not go after any of these men. I don't care if it's for a TV show. You just need anybody else. Anybody else. And Craig's more interested in this Charlie gal. And Charlie's beautiful. And look, I was a little confused who Charlie was because I missed those first seven episodes of the season. But she kind of gives me, like, looks-wise, I think she looks like a young Ariana from Vanderpump Rules, doesn't she? Saving! They got her for a cheap rate, I would assume. but she looks just like Ariana from Vanderpump Rules, like a younger version or something. Not that Ariana looks old. You know, Ariana's beautiful. You get it. But anyway, I didn't know who this Charlie was. And then Charlie then, she weirdly tiptoes around Sally. And I'm like, why are you acting this way towards Sally? Like Sally's acting fucking nuts towards you. And then Sally doesn't want you to date Craig. And so you're lying to Sally about dating Craig. And honestly, if you're already lying to someone you consider a friend, then maybe there's an issue in the relationship and you should go for another guy because you're embarrassed to be even talking about the guy. And you should be. I mean, anyone out there at this point, I'm sorry, we've seen enough footage on Craig that you should be embarrassed if you date Craig. I think. And he's, granted, a gorgeous fella. And I think he bamboozles a lot of us. Because the interesting thing about Craig Conover is that he's his own Wario. And so he's like this very, what I mean by that is like this very sweet, nice man who you think, oh, he runs a sewing company. And he does all, he sort of checks these boxes that he thinks like an adult person should be in a way that like Shep and Austin in comparison do not at all. So it's like you look at Craig and you see he's got his shit together. He's got a clean home, a business, a haircut. And so you're like thinking, oh, he's got it together, especially compared to like Shep. And then all of a sudden he starts drinking and he turns into his own Wario where he's just like an evil monster demon villain. And he just cannot help himself. And so he's yelling at people. And in this past week's episode, I know you guys turned in for Summer House recap, but I got to get this off my chest. So in this past week's episode, he's yelling at Sally on the Sprinter van on their cast trip. and I think that what actually they showed was less than how he was. Does that make sense? Like I think they protect him a little bit. That's just my gut reaction. I don't know that to be true for sure, but I feel like they protect Craig and so I think what you see, you almost see the people's reaction to Craig. It feels like the reaction is almost a little oversized because what we see Craig, he calls what Sally, like a loser on the thing And he definitely was inappropriate and terrible to her. But I even feel like it was worse in person, if that makes sense. It's like, I feel like it was worse. And they sort of protect him a little bit. But Craig, yeah, I think you think he's a good, nice man. And then you see him, we've seen him on, even on that one Winter House spinoff. There was just so many times where like the cracks in the armor show. And he tries so hard clearly to keep it together on camera. But then you see, and then even hearing everybody's reaction, like Vanita's always hated him. But then I think a lot of them, Austin and Shep, the way they talk about Craig, they're scared of him. And even on reunions, they've sort of alluded to this. But we've seen little glimpses of it. But I think it must be really much worse in real life. And so there's too much footage and too much accounts of people saying how horrible Craig is to people that we should start believing them. At what point are people going to start believing that Craig's an absolute demon on the show and beyond? I feel like we're all just being tricked. And yes, he's very handsome. And I've said in real life, I think he's way more hot in real life than on camera. Because the thing about the Southern Charmin is that we get a little confused on camera because they're all very tall. And so it doesn't, I think they don't read as tall on camera as they are in real life. And so you see someone like Craig on camera and he looks almost a little short. Like even in the confessional, he's got like those T-Rex hands. And so you think almost like he's Craig Little, but then you see him in real life and he's like this big burly man. And so you get tricked because Austin's like 6'10". Austin's 100 foot tall and so is Shep. And then who else do you compare? I mean, the men on this show, it's like obviously Craig is so handsome compared to them. Or Whitney, how old is Whitney now? And I don't know why Whitney's on this gas trip lurking around there like Jack Skellington on a Benadryl. because he's just like a little, he's like snoozy running around the beach and wearing all black on the sand. And I'm like, why is he, I know he's a producer on this show, but like, why is he mic'd up on camera? Can't he just be an off-screen producer? Like there was one moment on one of the past few episodes, don't remember what it was because I watched them all. Like it was like, I needed my fix. It was sick. I said I was not going to watch the season of Southern Charm. And then all of a sudden at night, I'm like staying up late and I have a baby. So I should be tired at night. But it was like, I was just putting on like episode after episode, after episode, after episode. But with Whitney, there was one moment on the beach where he just went up to one of the other cast members as they were changing. Like Rodrigo was holding up a towel on the beach for one of the gals. And I don't even know which gal it was, but one of the women was changing and Whitney just like lurks on, like slowly walks on over and looks over the towel that Rodrigo, a gay man is like protecting this woman from, from the straight men gawking at her. And Whitney just goes up and like lurks behind the towel and then sort of chuckles. And then Austin even calls it out in this moment. It was like, Whitney, what are you doing? Cause he sees from across the beach, like Whitney lurking at this woman's bare bubbies. And Whitney's like, Oh, I just was turning my head. And it's like, no, we actually just watched you on camera, like slowly walk up there, look at it. and then eventually maybe turn around. And it's fucking nuts because I think like Whitney's a producer on this show. So even it's shocking to me that it even made the cut that that was in the episode because he's producing these episodes. So it's like, that's what's in the cut. Like what's happening not in the cut. You know what I mean? Because I would imagine editors when they're putting together the episode would be like, hey, let's not make our producer of this show, who essentially their boss look like such a creep And yet it was in the episode so it like what going on And why is he even there Like he doesn even fit in with anybody And I feel bad. Like there, and look, I'm not trying to, I just think that there should be some sort of level of decorum with the producer on the show, because when he's on the cast trip and doing the confessionals and stuff like that, I feel like it's weird for the other cast members. They sort of have to kiss his ass because he's their boss. And so shouldn't it be an HR issue for these people? I mean, even taking out the fact that he's lurking around the beach, checking out their bear cabooses. Like, what is going on with Whitney? I don't know. Anyway, I'm loving. You've got to be honest with you. I'm stuttering a little bit because I'm going to say something that's very controversial. And it's going to get me in a lot of trouble. A lot of heat. I mean, I get a lot of heat for this, but I'm kind of like an Austin. I kind of do. I never did before. I never did. And you guys know that. You know that. You can go back in the archives and listen to this podcast and know that I've never once said a good thing about that man. I am on record. I am on audio record. Never sang a good word about that man, Austin. And yet here I am this season from episode seven and beyond. Although I wish he would stick up a little bit against Craig. He obviously hates Craig, but they're all in a hell of their own making. Shep, I feel like he thinks he's a meditation expert or something. He was healed because he went to an ayahuasca retreat or something once. I guess he's acting better than he was. I never understood why they brought Shep. But maybe Shep isn't needed anymore. I think now that they have this guy, Wittner. is this his name Wittner they don't need so many people that are like bridges between all these people so I think like Wittner works better as a bridge between Austin and Craig and the women because Wittner seems at least from the episodes that I've seen he seems very like level headed peaceful not getting in the mix much and that's what Shep is right now too and so I would just like that's my suggestion for next season maybe we don't need all of these people because they do, Southern Charm does have God bless, we love Molly but they have a lot of people like Molly and Wittner where it's just like, what are we, you're offering like a, they're almost like an audience surrogate for us but these shows only need one audience surrogate and then we need a bunch of crazy fucking people, right? Like I don't need a hundred audience surrogates. And it goes back to what I was saying about Carol on The Real House of New York. Like Carol's essentially an audience surrogate but then if Cy and Jessel and Aaron are also audience surrogates because it's not like they're nuts. They're not the fun kind of kooky. So they're all audience surrogates. So what are we doing with a bunch of people? We're just watching paint dry, basically, if we don't have any nut balls on there. Like, we need someone like Lou. I can buy myself flowers. Or even in the early incarnation of the Real Institute of New York, we had our dear Alex McCord. I am in Brooklyn, trying to survive in this economy, working. Who I just saw was on stage with Countess Luanne at one of her Australian dates of her cabaret show, which I can't even believe I'm saying that she's international with her cabaret performances. Like, what is going on that Luanne is in Australia now? But she brought Alex McCord on stage. And Alex McCord also, what did she else just appear in? Oh, she's going to be in that. They're doing that upcoming season of Real House's Ultimate Girls Trip. And Alex is going to make an appearance on that. So she goes over to Dorinda's house, Bluestone Manor. I wonder what the other Roni women, I think I saw Dorinda commented on Carol returning to Roni on her radio show, but I would like eyes and ears on everybody else too. Like, do you think Sonia even like remembers filming anything with Carol? Like, I don't know. I sort of in my head think that like Sonia does not even remember. Like if you were to go up to Sonia and say like, hey, what do you think of Carol joining the cast of Roni again? She'd be like, who's Carol? That's what I feel like Sonia would say. Also, it's only a matter of time. I hate to speak this into existence, but it's only a matter of time until you-know-who speaks up about this news, about Carol returning to Roni. You know who I'm talking about. Ms. Frankel. That's right. Only a matter of time before I hop onto TikTok and get assaulted by a one-minute-long video of Bethany Frankel talking about Carol rejoining Roni. You know, she's pissed. She's probably fuming, foaming at the mouth to talk about it. She's probably talking to one of her gals right now and saying, hey, should I comment on this? Does it make me look worse or better? Actually, I don't know if she cares if she looks worse or better. She's always posting everything on that app. Okay, so what are we at? Let's take a break here, and we're going to come back and talk about Summer House. But if you haven't watched Southern Charm, Oh, and also Southern Hospitality is back this week, and I did get a chance to see the premiere. As of this recording, I don't think the episode's out yet. It comes out this week. But the first episode of Southern Hospitality is so great, and I loved the last season of Southern Hospitality. And I'm not someone who liked the first season. I didn't care for it. I thought it was a flop. But then it got good. And so to me, it gives that early Vanderpump vibe that the new Vanderpump is not giving, quite frankly. and maybe it will next season of Vanderpump Rules, but the current season of Vanderpump Rules is not doing it for me. But Southern Hospitality has that vibe to me. And they have some crazies on there that are fun to watch, and it's good. So it might be a good time to get on board, but watch last season of Southern Hospitality, because some of the crazy stuff that happened at the reunion is still in play on Southern Hospitality. And so you need to get back on board. Okay, let's take a break. I want to thank Acast, and we'll be right back with Summer House Recast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I hope we get into the bottom of things. And I will do my best to get questions answered for the people. I'll do everything I can, but I'm super excited. I love going on Watch What Happens Live, and they asked me, and I was so thrilled. And so tune in to Watch What Happens Live. Set the DVRs or the TiVos, whatever the youths are doing these days. Check it out on the Peacock the next day. but it'll be the episode we're doing a live episode after the episode of summer house next week. And then I'm going to still try to do the summer house recap for everything iconic. So stay tuned to the podcast feed, but hopefully I'll be able to do that before I head to New York for the episode of watch what happens live again next week. What is that? The 10th. I think it's the 10th. Yeah. March 10th after summer house, watch what happens live me, Kyle cook. And Andy Cohen. Very excited. Okay, so then Summer House episode five. This episode is called Summer Nights. And I've been sort of dreading this episode, to be honest with you, because before we even saw any footage from this season of Summer House, there was a teaser of Summer House that was released where it was just the jousting of West and Jesse. And that was sort of like, you know, Bravo does that sometimes where it's like a 10-second teaser. And they released it, and I remember seeing it and just thinking, oh, this looks bad. But then ultimately it's been a good season so far. This episode wasn't super thrilling, but I'm loving this season. But I was nervous to get into this episode because I remember that teaser where they were just dressed. And I'm not someone who, you guys know this, I don't love a theme party myself in real life. And I'm finding myself to be a little tired of the theme parties on Summer House. And that's just my truth. And I know that's what the show is, essentially, at this point. I mean, we're watching every single week a new theme party. And so we've had every theme in the book. I mean, some of them have worked. Like, I always loved that pajama party one that I think was last season. I thought that was a great theme party. But then some of them have flopped. And, like, this was a Renaissance fair thing. But they're all getting ready. And the whole thing about Sierra and Jessie is sort of coming to head this week. So Sierra doesn't realize that she's sort of playing into – She doesn't realize that Jesse's been having these conversations quite yet at the start of this episode, that Jesse went up to Wes and was like, hey, do you mind if I kiss Sierra if we get drunk and maybe accidentally kiss? And would you be okay with that, Wes? And remember, Wes was like, absolutely not. But he didn't say that directly to Jesse. He just said that to other people. But so this is all happening. And Sierra doesn't know. So every time Sierra sees Jesse, like at the start of this episode, they were standing in front of the mirror. and she's like, imagine these are our engagement photos. Sierra's kind of got a little bit of an accent. Our engagement photos. Photos. Didn't she say photos or something? These could be our engagement photos. Sierra, would you like it if I sang to you a song and these were our engagement photos? My impression of Jesse is basically just Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh. That's how I imagine it. Anyway, we open this week, Saturday, July 19th. And it's 1.15 p.m. Everybody's getting ready for this Renaissance Fair. Amanda is dressed as a goat. I get confused sometimes. With the theme parties, I think sometimes they have glam, but they hide it from the cameras. Because they don't want it to seem like they're getting their glam done on Summer House. And my theory on this, and this is a conspiracy theory, so I don't know this to be true. But my theory is like in the basement, which they used to film in the basement, remember? And now the basement's off limits. They used to have people stay in the basement, didn't they? Remember Hannah and Paige were in that big room in the basement? Now I feel like they're not in the basement. So I would just like us all to remember that there's like a whole other part of this house that we're not seeing on a candid camera. And so I think that there's hair and makeup people in the basement. And so when Amanda, we see her with that goat dick on her face, and it looks like pretty heavy prosthetics. It looks like Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire or Jim Carrey in The Mask. Or did you guys see there was this conspiracy theory about Jim Carrey that it wasn't him. Somebody dressed up as him for this award show thing, and then Jim Carrey had to put out a statement saying, no, that was actually me. like what a fucking nightmare that would be to be jim carrey and everybody thinks you're like a clone or something and it's like really he just maybe had some work done on his face or something and then he shows up and people think he's a clone i was like that's my worst nightmare and the thing that i don't like now about social media and we're all guilty of it i think or a lot of us are guilty of it but it's like people go will go on when i go on tiktok or instagram reels or wherever, I'll see so many people acting as experts on other people's faces and weight and whatever. And so it is horrifying. And then the news spreads. So like you see a TikTok where it's like, this is what this person had done. And it'll be someone who will claim to be a doctor or not even that. Sometimes it's not even a person who's a doctor, but they'll be like, here's what they had done. They had the bleph. They had the cheek removal. They had the lips done. They had the nose. So go through all of these things. and I'm thinking like, are you just guessing based off a picture? Because sometimes in pictures, sometimes they get filtered. Sometimes they put the AI filter over it. Sometimes they just look bad. Sometimes you're puffy. Like sometimes, I don't know, when you get older, I think there's some pictures I'll look at myself and be like, oh, look at how puffy my face looks. And then other times like, oh, look how snatched my face looks. And I just think it'd be, it's weird now that so many people go on these social media things and say, oh, I know exactly what they had done. And then even with the Jim Carrey news, I was like seeing so many accounts be like, this is what happened with Jim Carrey. Like it's a fake thing. Or it's prosthetics, someone in prosthetics. Or then people are saying, no, he did a facelift or he did filler. And it's like, maybe he was just like really puffy and depressed. And so I don't know, or who knows? But a lot of people act like they know. And I think that's, we're in a dangerous time. I mean, for more than one reasons. But anyway, Amanda had the goat dick on her face. Back to Amanda's goat dick face. Sierra was dressed as a rat, which made me laugh, a plague rat. And my son, Lucky, he's got what we call the lovey. It's like a little plush blanket sort of thing that he cuddles with. And we have all these different ones, and he loves this one that I call his rat lovey. I think it's supposed to be a mouse, but I call it his rat lovey. But that's the one he's always grabbing. It's his rat lovey, and I hate rats. Anyway, so Sierra dressed as a rat made me think of my son, which was nice. She sort of looked like Splinter from Ninja Turtles. Didn't she? And I was a Ninja Turtle kid. I know they're back now, but I fucking loved the Ninja Turtles. I did. My mom still has my little Ninja Turtle action figures at home. I need to have her send them, But those probably also have lead in them, so I probably can't give them to my son. Anyway, moving on. Lindsay and Wes. Lindsay's there. Woo! Have mercy. I'm so excited to see her at this. And she's getting in the mix because she knows she's got to get in the mix. Because she even said at the end of the episode she's not going to be there for the party next week. And so Lindsay's got to stir up trouble. So she's talking to Wes about the Jesse and Sierra situation. And Wes thinks Sierra would laugh in Jesse's face if Jesse went up to her and was like, hey, would you like to make out with me? Maybe we could make out. We could do it as a joke or we can do it for fun. Or, you know, I'm just looking to settle down and be in a relationship and sing to my girl. And I wrote a song about it. And so Wes thinks Sierra would laugh in his face and I do too. and Lindsay's like talking to West about it and she's like I think it's my place to say something and that's what I appreciate that's why Lindsay's a star and that's why they need to give her a raise and I think they should I don't know give her a cut of all the profits for Bravo at this point because I think Lindsay offers a lot to the network and I'm just glad they respect her enough I think there was a time where I was very worried about Lindsay future on the network because she was having the baby and I just thought they gonna get rid of her And I so glad they didn God bless And so they did you know sometimes they do things that are right And that was right Okay Carl got corn on the cob and turkey legs and a magician for this party because he's the one planning this party. And the corn on the cob and the turkey legs was definitely a choice. I don't know if I was shuffled in for this party. I'm not sure that I would go for the corn on the cob or the turkey leg. And I love a turkey leg. I mean, you point me to the opening of Disneyland and I'm going for a turkey leg and a corn dog. Actually, my first stop at Disneyland every time I've ever gone. It's right for that corn dog, which is at the opening of the park. You guys know what I'm talking about. There's a little stand right when you get in the park that's got the corn dog. And it's like, that's my first, like, I can't enjoy my day at the park until I've had that corn dog. And then later on in the day, that's when you get the turkey leg. But the turkey leg's not, I suppose I can go to Disneyland and not get the turkey leg, I have to go and get the corn dog, though. I'm not interested in going there. Look, what did the Beverly Hills house always say? Once, twice a year, you have a good hot dog. That's how I feel about a corn dog. It's like whenever, once, twice a year, if I go to Disneyland, which I haven't been in a few years, but if I go there, I got to get the corn on the cob. Or I got to get the corn dog. What did I say, corn on the cob? Do you guys remember, there used to be this chain that was in the mall. There was like a Randall Park Mall in Northeast Ohio, and it had a chain of Hot Sam pretzels. Do you guys know Hot Sam pretzel? Was that like nationwide, or was that just a Northeast Ohio thing? I think it was nationwide, but it was called Hot Sam pretzel. And they would do soft pretzels, but they weren't as sweet as like the Auntie Anne's ones or the Wetzel pretzel ones. I even feel like Wetzel pretzel, there's like a little too much sweetness in them. But Hot Sam used to just be like a good soft pretzel, and you could get it on a stick, and they would dip the whole thing in the nacho cheese sauce and then give it to you on like a little like parchment paper or something. And so it would be covered in cheese. It was like my favorite thing. And I dream about that pretzel. Like I swear to you guys, like I feel like I think about it more than, I don't know, my deceased grandparents. Like I think about that hot sand pretzel covered in the nacho cheese at least once a week. And I think that they went out of business, but it would behoove somebody to just come out with that again. Like, I don't know. Wouldn't you love if you go to the Wetzel pretzel and they would dip the whole thing in the cheese sauce? I'm sure it's not healthy for you, but who the fuck cares? The world's on fire outside, so maybe we just need the soft pretzel dipped in some nacho cheese. Speaking of eating, Amanda's eating the grass as a goat. And Kyle's turned on. This was actually very troubling to me. Kyle was like turned on by Amanda when she was on all fours on the grass, eating the grass. And he's like, Oh, it reminds me of when we got together. It was like, Oh, she's having fun. This reminds me when we got together. And it's like, actually this, I can like go into psychology mode and really analyze how Kyle was just turned on by Amanda. Cause she was acting just like as an animal for him. And so I think that's what, you know, like that's what's so fucked up about it. But he was so turned on by her just walking through the grass. And I'm thinking, Amanda, you've got to lift your head up and not be on all fours in the grass. Because as I say every episode of this podcast, Kyle's pissing all over that Summer House lawn. We've seen him time and time again pissing all over. And actually, that's my number one question for Kyle when I go to watch What Happens Live. I don't know if I'll get the chance, but I do want to ask. so he has told us on hand to camera that he has to do the DJing for his career because it's got to help Loverboy and it's whatever he needs the money for Loverboy because he's had to take money out of it or whatever and I don't understand why he should have done OnlyFans like those cousins on Vanderpump Rules I think Kyle Bravo is profiting off his bare caboose because on Summer House they show him naked all the time and so I think a better use of his time and energy and a better making of money would have been OnlyFans instead of doing the DJ that his wife was saying, please, the one thing I'm asking you not to do is go out and drink till the wee hours of the morning. And so Kyle could have been in that apartment just showing a little caboose for the fans and OnlyFans. And I think that would have been a smarter use of his time. So I do want to ask that. I'm going to say, why didn't you do OnlyFans? Why? Why? But Amanda needs to know that Kyle and the gentleman piss everywhere in that grass, so you should not be eating it. I don't care how much fertilizer is on there. You need to get your ass up and not eat it. But Ben is interested in this Dara at first. Dara says that West is the best guy on Earth because she used to date West. And so that's how she got in this group. And she's like, West is the best guy on Earth unless you're falling in love with him. And I guess she says he couldn't seal the deal or something. Now, KJ, what's interesting is KJ doesn't even remember meeting Dara. So they have to show a flashback. And in the flashback, it looked like KJ was sort of ignoring Dara. But I think as we've learned about KJ, as he's got a lot of anxiety and stuff, I feel like KJ is just always in his head. And so I give him a pass for that. I do. But didn't remember meeting. And he's now smitten by Dara. And it seems like they're going to have a little love affair. And they keep trying to add Ben into these love affairs and these love triangles. But I don't feel like Ben is actually interested in any of these people. You know what I'm saying? He's interested in being on television. Then we cut to Lindsay telling the girls about Jesse and Sierra's just sitting in that rat outfit. And she says like, the only person who'd give someone a permission to kiss me is me. And she's even says in the confessional, she's mad that West said he doesn't care, but, but I would hope that Sierra is watching the season and realize like West does care. He was just sort of thrown off by Jesse saying that. Do you know what I'm saying? And then this is when Amanda channels Will Afford and says, fuck the men, let's drink to us, which a lot of the gay men out there know that this was actually sort of the lyrics of a Willa Ford song. Remember, fuck the men, let's toast to us. There's a song, I think that's the actual name of the song. And Willa Ford's back, baby. It's got a new album this week. But yeah, so Amanda was channeling our 2000s queen, Willa Ford. And I appreciate that. Now, Amanda tells Bailey to flirt with someone because Bailey's saying she's a terrible flirt. And I'm rooting for Bailey. I do love me some Bailey now. And Amanda's like, look, you need to learn how to flirt. And so Amanda says, why don't you go flirt with one of those actors that Carl hired for the Renaissance Fair, or maybe the magician? And she says, the magician's 75. She says, I'm not going to go flirt with the magician. And you know what? For once, Bailey, I think I was siding with her, and she was right on that, because the magician, I don't know that anyone should flirt with a magician in general. I don't know. Something about, obviously, I just don't trust magicians, because their whole sort of, their whole sort of thing is lying, right? Like that's, they've made a career out of tricking people. And so I just, I think you need to date anyone else besides a magician. And you just don't know when they're going to disappear. Imagine dating Criss Angel and he's like working on one of those tricks where he disappears or some shit like that. I don't know exactly what he does. But what if they disappear and then you're like, where the fuck do they go? Like you're trying to get ready to go out to dinner. and so you're ready to go to the Chili's and you're looking for your man and you're looking around the house and you're like, where the fuck are they? And they're working on their disappearing act and so you can't even find them because they're doing some trick on you that they're practicing at the house. So then you're fucked and you're just trying to go get a triple dipper and meanwhile you can't find your mate because they're working on their disappearing act. And so that's why ladies and gentlemen you should not date a magician. Any other profession, I don't trust them. You mean to tell me you trust a magician? I do not. Even that 75-year-old man or that older gentleman who was at the Renaissance Fair, I'm sure he was a nice man. But you do not need to date a magician. So instead, Bailey goes to flirt with West, and it's very awkward. She's like, how's the popcorn? Does my popcorn taste good? And West is like, is that supposed to be an innuendo? She's like Jennifer Lawrence in a 2016 interview. And I love that about her. Something makes you feel safe about it. Remember when Jennifer Lawrence, it was like, I don't even think it was Jennifer Lawrence's fault, but like every interview, she was like really leaning into that quirky thing. And the Oscars, she like fell. And so the whole media narrative around Jennifer Lawrence was just so like, they were making her seem like just sort of like a bumbling, quirky, whatever. And that's what they're making it seem like with Bayley. But I love both Bayley and Jennifer Lawrence. And I kind of miss that energy. You know what I'm saying? from jennifer lawrence i mean so at least i'm getting it from bailey and i think jennifer lawrence she got like a bad rap about all that because again i don't even know if it was really her fault i think it was like more like the way she was presented in media was just like as this bumbling sort of quirky i don't know it was like they weren't letting her be serious you know what i'm saying so then jesse there was one moment where jesse is like who needs shots and he sort of sounded like, who's that guy from Goonies? Like, hey, you guys. You know, that's what it sounded like to me when Jesse was saying, who needs shots? Hey, you guys. Then we do this medieval times jousting. And they had these floppy swords. Carl made a funny and he said they need Cialis for these swords, which made me laugh. Carl's doing stand-up. then jesse jesse and west kiss and then uh west is like he didn't ask for permission and then it made it made sierra run inside and she started it was like she was crying but i think this was editing did anyone else feel like this was this felt like tricky editing because she ran inside and they made it seem like that made her cry but i think it was something else that's my take go back and watch it it looked like the kiss between west and jesse was happening in like a different area than where Sierra was. And I was like, oh, this seems like tricky reality TV editing. Meanwhile, KJ and Dara, they trade earrings. Sierra inside, she's upset. She says everyone wants to experience her and she doesn't want this. She, and she, I don't know. She's, yeah, I don't even know what I wrote in my notes here. You know, sometimes I read these notes and I'm like, where, why did I even write that? My next line just says Craig and Sally at PetSmart, which we already talked about. I'm like, why is that in the middle of my summer house notes? Anyway, Dara and Ben sort of flirt by the guillotine and the hay, which is a sentence I never thought I'd say. Let's take a break here, and we're going to come back. We have so much more. I still got a page of notes, so buckle up, Buttercup. We'll be right back. And we're back. stupid looking hat all right summer house so by the end of the party what's uh mia has to send everyone home on the microphone and it's so weird when they kick everyone out like this because again i just remind us that this is not what happens at a real house party you do not just say at like four o'clock everybody's gotta go uh but that's what we do in a production for a house party then it's the evening time dara oh by the way though mia she's she's very comfortable and confident on the microphone. And so I have high hopes for Mia. I know we just met her. I'm hoping she gets in the mix and into the drama and stuff. But as it stands, at least she feels confident. And she's not afraid to tell people to go home. She's not afraid to make a toast. And so that's someone who's getting in the mix as much as they can right now. And I think it's only a matter of time before she has some drama with the group. But in the evening time, Dara says, wait, also, I'm sorry to go backwards, but we have Mia, we have Dara, who got a lot of screen time this week. Ian Bailey, of course, too. But they're sort of editing out the other one, Levi. And it's like, what's going on with Levi? Where even was she this week? Did anyone even say, like, I feel like they cut her and they're like, let's save some money. Cut her midway through the season, like we don't have to pay her episode rate. And so Bravo didn't want to loosen up the purse strings if Levi's not bringing anything to the table. And so it looks like she's maybe back next week, but I don't know. There's something weird. It's like Levi's missing. She's put her on the milk carton because I don't know where Levi's been. She's just flopped and she's out. Anyway, Bailey feels insecure about Dara because Dara's, she's basically a star in this episode. She's doing a lot of heavy lifting on the episode. She says she reads and goes to the movies alone. She tells, I think, KJ that, which I appreciated. That made me love Dara because I think it's important to both read and go to the movies alone. I know a lot of people feel it's weird to go to the movies alone. I think it's actually the best to go alone because you need your hot dog in peace. The thing with the movie theater is if you feel like if you're there alone and you're not liking the movie, you can leave and go to another showing. You could just go to something else, walk in another one if you're alone. But when you're with someone else, especially if they're not a super close friend, then you feel like you've got to sit through the whole movie. But it's like, if I don't want to sit through the rest of the thing. What did I just watch? I watched half of it. Oh, Song Song Blue. And I was laughing because I watched the first half of it, you guys. And I thought it was great. I thought it was fantastic. Kate Hudson is nominated for Oscar for it. I thought it was so good. But not since Hugh Jackman's other film, The Greatest Showman, have I watched half a movie and then felt like I never needed to watch the second half. And yet I loved the first half so much. That's how I felt about Song Song Blue. I watched half of it, and I thought it was great. And I was enthralled and riveted the whole time I was watching. But then I don't know, I was falling asleep or going to bed or something. And I haven't had the urge to put on the second half. And the same thing happened with The Greatest Showman. I've only seen the first half, and I loved it. Loved it. And I listened to the soundtrack of The Greatest Showman, even. It's on my Spotify. I listen to This Is Me every chance I get. This is me. I'm not brave. I'm not bruised. This is me. You know that song? Do you know what I'm talking about? So I love that song, but I have no urge to watch the second half. What is that about? Anyway, Song Song Blue's like, so anyway, I think if you go to the movies and you're going to see something like Song Song Blue and you watch the first half and you're like, this is great, but I don't need the second half, you can go walk over into another theater. And so that's why I think it's good to go alone. And I'm happy. I'm happy that Dara and KJ are kind of flirting and we'll see what happens. Then we cut to Sunday morning There chicken legs everywhere There are turkey legs or whatever which is gross Going in the backyard and just seeing a bunch of old turkey legs that would send me I couldn handle that I would just, I wouldn't be able to handle that. Now, Jesse asks Sierra her plans for the week. Oh, so what are you doing this week? Are you doing anything fun this week? And she's like, I got to clean the apartment, and I'm having furniture delivered. And I wrote my notes like, that's why Sierra's not on the spinoff. those were her big plans for the week and god bless i understand and nothing's wrong with that but when jesse asked sierra her plans for the whole week in new york and she said furniture being delivered and cleaning the apartment which i know she's on the show she's not a very clean person we've seen her room in the so i'm thinking like what she's probably not doing a big deep clean uh and unfortunately i thought that's probably there's our answer as to why she's not on that spinoff that's forthcoming in the city. Meanwhile, back in the city, West and Kyle, they go golfing indoors. Lindsay's baby proofing the house, her house, which we've been doing now. We're waiting for the gate to be delivered for the stairs because my son is climbing the stairs now, which is, you know, he just wants to climb the whole stairs. And he's not even walking yet. He's going to be nine months old this week. And he's climbing up the stairs. I'm like, stop it. Just sit tight. We don't have the gate up yet, but you got to get all this stuff for baby proofing. It's exhausting. You got to put that in the outlet covers. And even so, he still finds a way. He's crawling everywhere and trying to find a way to get into everything. It's exhausting. Then KJ meets up with Dara back in the city. He likes her. He's still wearing her earring. They switched earrings at the party. And Dara says she doesn't like Ben. And KJ's like, well, everybody likes Ben. And KJ says he's a male model. He's very mature. And Dara's like, aren't you a male model? And I thought Dara clocked him, clocked his ass. You know what Dara basically did was call it the editors. Caught! Got you! That's what Dara said, because they've been positioning KJ as a model. And you might remember that in the early recaps of Summer House this season, I said that they're using that term too fast and loose on these shows now. They're calling everybody a male model. And I think that they told KJ he was a male model. Like he did one sort of catalog or something or took a picture on Instagram once that he looked great. And he's a gorgeous, handsome fella. But I don't even think KJ thinks of himself as a male model. And the proof was in the pudding here because he says that Ben's a male model. He's mature. And that's when Dara's like, aren't you a male model? And I thought, cut! Got you! Bravo, editors. Because she's calling out. She's saying, yeah, you're not a male model. She's saying that without saying that. Meanwhile, over at Softbar, which seems nice. Again, I talk so much shit about Softbar. I said it's definitely going to fail and flop. And then here I'm seeing things about it in real time, and it looks like a nice place. But it's a $10,000 a month lease. Carl's opening at the end of summer. Ben arrives five weeks away from opening. Apparently, Jesse invested in the Softbar. There's influencers invested, athletes, but not Kyle. Kyle said, I got to save that money. he said i'm not invested in that shit but carl invested 15k in lover boy because he says he believed in it and he hoped that kyle would now i don't think that anyone actually if i was on the cast with these people i don't think any of them should invest in any of their businesses because as we've seen time and time again reality star businesses close quite often than most more often than most because even a regular bar restaurant is going to close because it's hard to run a bar or restaurant. And so I certainly wouldn't put my trust in a reality TV personality to open a bar or restaurant. I mean, look at what happened over there on Schwartz and Sandy's. Hate to say that term. But remember, they were serving the lobster corn dogs and they were in a station next to a PetSmart. And then they closed a couple of years after they opened. And so they were fucked. And so I think it was actually smart. I'm going to give Kyle the credit. Carl's pissed about it, but I think it was smart for Kyle not to invest in soft bar because he's also got to pay his bills over at lover boy. And, um, even though when you really think about it, Kyle probably makes, I don't know, 10 times Kyle, probably a DJ night. They probably pay him. I'd say, I don't know. I don't want to guess. I'd say like 20 grand. They probably pay him 20 grand for a DJ gig, 10 to 20 grand, I'd guess. And let me think about that. Yeah. The social media posts. I think everybody would be shocked what these people make on a social media post. I don't think the guys make as much influencing. But for a DJ night, I bet you he makes, that's probably like one DJ night if he invested 10 or 15k in Carl's Soft Bar. I don't know. I bet he'll offer to DJ at Carl's Bar. And doesn't Carl's Bar have like a little DJ center? As he was giving us a tour, I was like, he said something about like, oh, a DJ could go there. Anyway, then the weekend, KJ tells the guys about his date with Dara. He says they kissed after the Tyler the Creator concert. He made dinner with her. And did he say they slept over? I don't know. He enjoys time with them. Ben seems happy about it. Oh, then we cut to Bailey and Levi. I guess Levi was in this episode. You know what's even worse than Levi disappearing for episodes? It's the fact that she did appear in this episode, and I totally forgot. Like, that's not a good sign, Levi. You better step it up. Sorry to say, but you better do something. You better say something, you better do something. Because otherwise you're not popping on camera. And we need you to pop on camera, right? Like that's the whole name of the game, Levi. I don't even know how you got cast on this show if you're not popping on camera. So I don't know, maybe this is on the Bravo casting team, but she's not popping on camera. And so did we not do any test footage with Levi? Like why is she? I hate, God bless, but she's not popping. All the rest are popping on camera for me. Ben, Dara, Mia, Bailey, they're all popping on camera. You're bringing all these new people, and Levi's not popping on camera. So you need to pop your ass out of this summer house, because I'm sorry. We can't have all this extra dead weight. And I would love to give you more time. I would love to be someone who's patient enough to give you more time to step into your own. But I'm not feeling that way this week. I'm just not. And so if Bailey can pop on camera, then you bet your bottom dollar that you should be popping on camera, too. So anyway, then I love, I do love my Bailey. They had this idea. Bailey says she was sort of almost losing me because she had this idea for a prank. And look, no one likes a prank on TV. Obviously, these two did not watch that season of the Real House of New York reboot when it was all about pranks. But Bailey and... You know how when you say a word, like I just did Bailey, you know, you say it kind of weird because you're just talking really fast. Does that happen? It happens to you. You know when you're in conversation with someone and they all of a sudden have like a weird random accent because they're just talking and the word comes out funny. It happened to me the other day when I was reading to my son, which made me laugh. It was like, it just came out weird. I don't know what we were reading. Like something. What are we reading? There's a book called The Rabbit Listened. I think that's what we were reading. The Rabbit Listened, which I love. Okay, so then Bailey and Levi. Bailey has, they're doing the prank for TV, where they dress up as a shrub, and they scare Amanda and Kyle. See, I just did it again. Kyle. Anyway, Sierra falls, exiting the car because it's raining out. And the prank worked, and I'm worried that's going to make them want to do more. And so Bailey and Levi, if you're listening, please do not do the pranks. We don't like watching them on TV. They might be fun in person, but we don't want them. It's Amanda's birthday weekend. Jesse invites Sierra for a chat before dinner. And again, it's raining. And there was a cute moment where West and Ben were outside in the storm. And it was really nice. And I love the rain. I think it's super relaxing. And West said, this is what life's all about, really. And then Ben said that, I think. And then West said to Ben, you're a big storm guy. And Ben's like, yeah. And I thought, maybe they should be in the Twister reboot, the two of them. What's going on with the Twister reboot? Remember there was that movie with Glenn Powell? There was Twisters. I liked it. It was kind of bad. I've never watched it again since it came out, but I wanted more. I did want more. Although I remember seeing it, and there was that one role, like the main lead girl, the woman, she was, I think, supposed to be Helen Hunt's daughter, and then Helen Hunt, they probably, I don't think they wanted to pay her. And I think that's what happened because Helen Hunt should have been in it. And so it was very clear to me that it was written as like Helen Hunt and her daughter, but then they wouldn't loosen up the purse strings for Helen Hunt. And so they had to hire more attorney. And so, um, more attorney. Why does it, when you say more attorney, it sounds like I'm saying more attorneys, doesn't it? We better wrap this up because my brain's turning to mush, you guys. Uh, but anyway, Jesse, what did Jesse, oh, I wrote my notes something dumb. Jesse said, let's see. Jesse and Sierra, they go and talk. Sierra says that Jesse's just thinking of her as a sexual conquest. But he says, I wasn't making a joke. I just feel like we have an attraction. We're also like friends, and I don't know what I'm looking for. It's like, Jesse, don't be a dumb shit. He's being a dumb shit this season. Sierra says she loves him as a friend, but she's upset because she says she expresses her traditional values, and he's just picturing it as a joke. And she says he should have asked permission to take her on a date. And Sierra's like, do you see where I'm coming from? And he's like, mm-hmm. And Jesse says he doesn't want her to feel like an object, but Sierra says it's 25% Jesse's fault that she feels this way and 75% her fault because in her head, she feels like everybody just wants to hook up with her and she feels like a piece of meat. And look, I understand this about Sierra. I do find that it's maybe difficult for most of us to relate to. It's just like, everybody just wants to like, it's hard to relate to that idea that like, everybody just wants to fuck you. Like it, it almost saying it like, but I understand it. I'm not, I do understand where Sierra is coming from. I'm just saying it is a little bit difficult for a lot of us to relate to the fact that it's just like, Oh, everybody just wants to have sex with you. And so I think there is a portion of the audience that's going to be like, Oh, I can't feel bad for you. Like, sorry that everybody wants to have sex with you, but, but I get that Sierra is also saying it like in the confines of the TV show, like everybody that comes on this show and all the men who come on the show, it's like, they just want to, they want her. And she keeps saying like, I'm a traditional person. Like I just want to date and like have traditional relationship, but everyone's looking at her like a piece of meat. And so I think there's like that added layer. I don't think she's just saying like in real life. I think she's saying, cause when, when you're just talking about real life, it feels almost a little unrelatable, But when you think about it in the confines of the show, it's like every man that's coming on the show is just like, wants, is thinking of her as a piece of meat. And she keeps time and time again, turning these men kind of down because they're not coming up to her as like a romantic partner. They're coming up to her as a piece of meat. And so I get it. But anyway, that's the end of the episode, you guys. Thank you so much for listening. There's no traitors this week. There's no traitors. So there's not gonna be a traitors recap because we're done. We're done. but I had fun. I'm glad we got to dive into Southern Charm a little bit this week, because I had all these thoughts to get out with Sally. And I'm sure this week, too, I'm going to have more thoughts. And Madison had her baby, too. Did we talk about that? Madison had the baby, which I was excited about, happy for her. And, yeah. Southern Charm, if you haven't watched. And Southern Hospitality, you guys, tune in. Watch Southern Hospitality, you guys. It's a good fucking show. And you know I don't say that about all the shows. I'm happy to call them out if I think they're flopping. But with Southern hospitality, I do not think it's flopping. I think it's great. Okay, I love you all so much for listening. Should we do our cheese little cool down? I did it a couple weeks ago, and some people were messaging me like, thank you for doing that. And I know that it's dumb, and a lot of people roll their eyes and think it's stupid, and I get that too. But also I think it's important for us to take a deep breath and just take some time to enjoy the view. So take a deep breath in, hold it, breathe out. have mercy love you all so much for listening find me on social media at Danny Pellegrino you can go to everythingiconic.store we have merch available you can get my book, signed copies of my book at everythingiconic.store or from your local bookstore or your library, you can request it there's also an audiobook, both of them and I'm hard at work on the next one so I'm very excited to be out next year but I've been working on that and I'm super excited to share that with everyone and so if you liked my other books How Do I Unremember This? Or The Jolliest Bunch. I hope that you'll like my next one, because it's been fun writing it. So yeah, and Patreon, I'm doing Sex and the City recaps on patreon.com slash everything iconic. If you donate $4 or more per month, you get access to those bonus episodes. I'm doing just one a month. More importantly, the money helps to support the show. So thank you to everybody who's over on the Patreon page. And also the recaps are really fun. We're on season five right now of Sex and the City. So it's one recap per month. They're about 30 to 40 minutes, those recaps, but there'll be a new one out here, hopefully by mid-March. And we're doing one each month. So Season 5, all the previous ones are on there already. If you want to go listen, patreon.com slash everythingiconic for $4 or more per month. Thank you all so much for listening. Have a great week, and we'll be back next week. Bye-bye. Starting a business means wearing many hats, designer, marketer, manager, while chasing your vision. Shopify powers millions of businesses with tools to build beautiful stores, create content and market with ease. From inventory to shipping, everything runs smoothly. If you're ready to sell, you're ready for Shopify. Sign up for your one euro trial today at Shopify.nl. That's Shopify.nl. I wish he was like in actual jail.