Chris Rock LIVE in LA

Guys, we got an exciting one. This is not a repeat. This is a new version of Chris Rock live at the Orpheum Theater, which we live shot and had a blast. It's always fun with an audience, especially with Chris. Yes. And we're out there in three chairs. We got our cameras. Pretty big audience. I mean, the Netflix is a joke. It's like 18 million shows. But Chris was great. We learned a lot. We went in some places that were very funny. I mean, he just has a lot of stories that involve a lot of well-known people. There were some pretty fascinating things. We were pulling some names out of them. And God, we went back to SNL again. We always do that. But there's always something. We went back to pre-SNL, how he met Sandler, old Eddie Murphy stuff, where he met Eddie, a lot of great stuff that I don't remember doing that in the first time we talked. No, no. I learned a lot. And he was great. We had a great time. We're going to now tell, repeat some of the main jokes. So you go ahead. No, we're not. But I have to say, I did laugh a lot. He didn't walk through it. He came in in a good mood, excited. The crowd was into it. And it's one of those fun ones where you just start laughing. And we're just kind of all over the place, cracking each other up. It's a great time. No further ado. Or what do you call it? No further ado? Is that the phrase? No, no, no, no. No further ado. No further ado. Without further ado. The one and only Chris Rock. It's almost over. Almost over. Almost over. Almost over. 20 minutes. You're over here. You're over here. Now he gets suspicious. Mind what? It's funny. Wow. Wow. There's people there. OK. Hello. Hi. There you go. Can you see? Wow. It's downtown. We are not doing stand-up. Just saying. No. Everyone pours out. No. We decided where's the most dangerous place we can do this. And what's the farthest. And it took some work. Ted Sarando said, six o'clock, way downtown. I said, Teddy, I am in, brother. I'm so Chris. Thanks for coming. I'm here. I'm here because I want to be here. This has nothing to do with my contractual obligations. Of course not. Netflix and Ted Sarando. Yeah. Three nothing. Nothing to do with that. It's all just. Not to do my three special deal. Yeah. And a pod. Well, we appreciate you coming. Chris is one of my good buddies. Background on him. We did the old SNL together. That's right, met him. And such a legitimately one of my best buds in the show biz world. And we do anything for this guy. So I'm really glad to see him in general. It's good to see him here. Dana's fine. But it's 91. All right. 91. I know. I don't like to tell the exact numbers. 91. Michael Jackson was alive. And you just got out of high school. And an outstanding citizen. Michael Jackson was killing you. 91 was a good. I waited on Michael Jackson as a bus boy waiter in 1975. And I would bring him a plate of raw carrots. And they were playing the circle star theater, the Jackson five. And there he was. And he'd always look. A plate of raw carrots. Raw carrots. And he would look in a mirror. Was he fucking rabbits? I don't know. Janet was jumping up and down on the bed. She's like eight years old. I go, please don't do that. Oh, that's well. Yeah. Yeah. He's probably 14 or 15. Wow. Yeah. And he was looking in the mirror and I brought him the carrots. And I got kind of familiar. And I said, you know, you could do a little something. And I just dropped it. Yeah. I felt terrible. That was pretty good. Long way to go. Wow. So Chris Rock is our guest. Yes. Oh. I don't know if we're going to keep getting applause off that. We're going to keep trying. Joe Jackson ordered three eggs and a belt. Anyway, I saw the movie. No, wait, I'll tell you Michael Jackson's story, Chris. So 91 when you came in, what was your first impression of? Sorry, I didn't know if you started. The monitors have a lot of reverbs. I feel like it's really kicking back. If they, the mics are a little hot. I don't know. I can't really understand what you're saying. So that's not a good thing, I guess. No. It is a rock. You know more about this. Are we getting a lot of kickback on these monitors? You were a sound engineer. It feels echoey. Did you guys do a sound check? Wouldn't that be great? Yeah. That's what I do normally. No. Wouldn't that be professional? No, we just forgot about the sound check. We just didn't have time. No, it's wonderful. I left my house at noon. I was planning on getting there for a sound check. Oh, someone's screaming already. We've just added a second show. That's unbelievable. No, I was going to tell you a story that is so uninteresting, but I'm going to tell it. I did. This is my only brief, Michael Jackson. Sex story. No, this is just my brief interactions. I was out in town. I had a joke up, Michael Jackson, when I first moved out here, just throwaway joke. And then the director of his videos was doing his latest one, Liberian Girl, which wasn't a super banger, but it was on. The director of Three Amigos? No. God, I can't remember his name right now. Filmophiles? He did a lot of commercials and stuff. Anyway, Jim Yukich maybe. Anyway, so he says, hey, I'm doing this video, and we're just having all cameos. It was like Dan Acker, it was like big stars. And he goes, do you want to be in it? We're just talking and doing stuff. You could just say your joke. So I said some stupid joke about it, but I was so excited to be in it. And then I wasn't in the video. And then I saw the director maybe three years ago. And I said, hey, he goes, do you remember me? I was the director of that video you did. And I go, oh, I wasn't in it. And he goes, oh, that's right. He goes, you know what? Funny story. I didn't want to hear it. He goes, Michael would never talk to me about editing, but I showed him a cut and he called me in the middle of the night and said, hey, who's David Spade? And he goes, oh, he's a comedian. And he just had a joke about you. So he put it in there and he goes, take him out. And he goes, that was the only note for the whole video. Take me out. And I was like, wow. And he goes, anyway, good seeing you. And I'm like, rule. Well, now that's what I got to live with about Michael Jackson. So anyway, we got time for one more. My Michael Jackson story. You got a Michael Jackson story. We got Rock Kits. We got cut out. Chris, you're up. My Michael Jackson story. It's a weird, okay, I got two. Okay. No, no. The first time I hosted the Oscars, there was like a crew guy, a guy in the crew, like a gaffer or something. Yeah. And I guess he used to work at Michael's house or whatever, because Michael always did all sorts of stuff. And the guy literally gave me his phone. Somebody wants to talk to you. Oh, wow. And he gives me the phone saying, hey, Chris, Michael, break a leg. Okay. And that was it. That's better than mine already. Yeah. That's fucking cool though. Man, a very few words, but to the point. When was that? How long was that? It was the first time I hosted. So yeah. Yeah. Because I remember when he passed away, was in the Woodman's chocolate wasted scene at, in grownups. Yeah, we were in, we were in a, in a, yeah. Yeah. We were doing a grownup. On the picnic tables, we went to lunch and someone said, I don't think we had Instagram or anything, but someone, it's the rumor went around where I was like, oh my God, he just passed away. And I remember Mama Rizzoni, your mother-in-law in the movie. Yes. Was very sad. It was hitting her very hard. And I told her it wasn't for sure that it was just a rumor because she had to have a softer landing. She was totally, she was really bad. Yeah. But that was, that was in grownups applause. Thank you. 181 million domestic, 3,000 million. You guys all got a car from Adam. I understand. Where's your car? Did you get a car? I prefer money, but yeah. But we didn't get a car. You got a car. What kind of car? Everyone loves here. Feel good stories about rich people getting richer. You're starring the movie, you're globally famous, and you get a car. Yes. Nice. Everyone's like, oh good for them. Definitely right. In the homeless capital of the world. Don't believe me? Walk outside. Anyway. We're literally inside. We're like, India is outside. We stumbled into India. So I heard the other night you guys own the comedy store. I missed out. It sounds like fun. So you rolled with a pretty fun crew. The comedy story is always fun like comedy seller. When you go in, there's tons of comics, but because this is the festival, they're all kind of smashed in and when they're lost or don't have a sense of direction, you can always go to the comedy store. And so you went in. I heard it was you, Chappelle, Kanye, Louis. Did anybody go on or are you just going there to go watch? Oh, wait, Kanye West and Louis CK? Yes. The canceled all stars. Because Dave Chappelle. Somehow Rushmore canceled. It fits somehow. How do you fit into that group? I don't understand that. This is the nice thing. You don't fit. I'm like Ludacris. I'm cool with everybody. Sure. So you go into your group. I'm like Ludacris. I'm cool with everybody. I'm like Ludacris. I'm cool with everybody. I'm like Ludacris. I'm cool with everybody. I'm like Ludacris. So you go in, you watch or do you just, do you just anybody go on? Dave went on Shane Gillis too. Shane Gillis. Another home run hitter. He's doing very well. He's doing all right. So yeah, Dave went on Shane, Louis, then me, then Dave comes on and brings out Kanye. What was his McDonald's bit? People, I mean Kanye is like, I remember when people would do Letterman and he was just so famous. It was somebody said it was like sitting next to a $5 bill, you know? And Kanye, you look like, you're like, is that a wax figure of Kanye? Like he's just that famous. Like is that the real guy? Yeah. Is that the real guy? Yeah. And what does he say up there? He's not saying much. Yeah. He gets away with low effort. Right now he's not saying much, but he's a firebrand. Talking about his love of Seinfeld. Yeah. Yeah. It's funny. One time he was at the Chateau. Chris was at the Chateau and about two months ago and then a girl walked by and I go, I said some lady just walked by a full yoga or ballerina outfit. And then I go, I wonder if there's something going on here. And then I saw Kanye and I go, oh, that's his wife, right? Right, his wife. Yeah, yeah. And it kind of made sense. Like this is, she dresses in a unique, like she's always going to the Met or something. Yeah, but it's weird. If you talk to her, she's so smart. It's like talking to Diane Sawyer. Really? With huge tits. Yeah. Okay, let's all think, visualize that for a second. I got it. Beautiful. I kind of, when you meet him, I met him at SNL on the 40th and him and Kim came around and they both had deep blue eyes. And I just thought, shit, I guess they have blue eyes. I didn't think they had contacts. It was really weird. That was just a blue eye night, you know? Yeah. Remember when, do you remember when I'm doing Chris Farley? You remember when he was going to attack me and Mike? We're doing Wayne's World? We had Kanye, they had people holding him back like he was going to attack us. I remember that. Was it a joke? It was only 10 years ago. Was he mad? No, he was fake mad. He was great in the sketch. It was like... Oh, did he host? No, no, it was the 40th at the end of the 40th anniversary. Sorry, I didn't make the 50th. The plane was late. Oh, are you going to go to the 60th? But Lorne will be 112. It's that thing of like, you know, Lorne always said, don't stop. He always said that to me. You never stop. And he said, Sidney Poitier told that to him. Then he stopped. Did Sidney Poitier stop? I got nothing. This is podcasting. No, you got a lot. It paid right now. I did a song with Kanye. I did. Anyway, anyway. Well, what do you mean you did a song? Let's hear a couple bars. No, no, no. I just... I'm on one of those albums, or one or two of them. Do you talk? Or do you sing? I just talk. I just talk. It's a song called Blame Game. And the song called Blame Game, he coached me two, four-hour sessions in the studio that he cut down to about three minutes or two minutes. And yeah, he's kind of a genius. So, you know, whatever. I did that. Hard to stay focused talking to him, or is he... He's probably an interesting guy, right? Oh, no, he's a very interesting guy. Yeah. Oh, he did something that was brilliant. I don't know if he was the first one, but he'd have people sampling beats and rhythms and stuff, and he would just walk around, listen, just change that, do that, get this, go that, you know. So, he's got an ear. That's what he's doing. Yeah. Yeah. Up next, it's Red Flair and his new band. On Backpack Casino, everybody spin. Gonna bring new games, gonna show you now. New game party. Find new... Dropping hits every week. Find the new slots. On Backpack Casino tonight. 18 Plus P Gambleware. That's right. Hi, everybody. I'm Maury Povich. On my podcast, On Par with Maury Povich, I'm gonna sit down with the icons, the stars, the faces at the very center of today's big cultural moments. With everyone from comedians Josh Johnson, Dan Soder, Leigh Ann Morgan, to newsmakers Don Lemon, Joy Reid, Aaron Parnas, and so many more. So join me for new episodes every week because nothing is off limits. Great conversations. They're always On Par. Follow and listen to On Par with Maury Povich wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome to Paris Pizzeria. Your blind date is already at the table, and there she is. Cousin Brenda, what are you doing here? You're married anyway. Substitution brought to you by Paddy Power. Cousin Brenda makes way for Beth, the office crush. Oh, get in! You might not always pick the right starter, but your sub can still deliver. Because with Paddy's Super Sub, your bet rolls over to the player coming on. Paddy Power. Validant, selected leagues and markets only. Pre-match and in-play bets on qualifying player outcome selections only. T-Sensees and exclusions apply. 18 Plus Gambleware.org. When you talk about eating Top 5 the movie, are your Top 5 rappers the same Top 5 as they were when you filmed Top 5? My Top 5 rappers. They probably changed since Top 5 the movie. I don't know. I would put Kanye number one. I would, I don't know, Kanye, I'm really loving Kendrick. The most, Kanye, Kendrick. I mean, God, Top 5. You got one hour. Wait a minute, that's a chapter. Tupac didn't like me. Tupac did not like me. I didn't hear the hat. See eye to eye on everything. Snoop. Snoop's very, very underrated, but he could get everybody off. J Cole. He's the most popular man in America. Nas. And then? Does Eminem get any sugar? Then Jay-Z? Then Eminem. Then? Interesting. Just on the outskirts. Although I scooped in Eminem. I like Eminem. Eminem's fine. Eminem's to be listened to. You know what I mean? Eminem's strictly for your car. He's not like... What could you and Tupac not get along about? That sounds so funny. No, it was weird. It was... It was his same problem. I rubbed him wrong. I mean, it's always the same shit, fucking the same girls. That's the first thing. It's always like, yeah, I saw her, whatever. He always won that battle. But no, I remember one year at the MTV Awards, I presented some award and Sugnight was in the audience and I did some joke about sugar, whatever the fuck. And then there was an after party at Bryant Park. And I just had that special bring the pain. Kanye and Tupac was like, what's up with all that niggas and black people shit. And he kinda stepped to me, but I didn't... Tupac was not that big. He photographs big, but he's not that big. So I was like, I'm still pretty skinny. So a skinny guy can't wait to fight a skinny guy. You know what I mean? Really? But nothing happened. Nothing happened. But we definitely had a little like... Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was definitely some mean mugging going on. And I remember that... I just remember that night everybody was scared of Sug. And like Eric B, remember? Eric B and Rock Kim. And Eric... It's like Eric B used to live in my neighborhood and he was such a big drug dealer that he... Like before he had a record out, the guy had a Rolls Royce on like Myrtle Avenue. Okay? Like that kind of drug dealer. That's good. And he was like, why'd you talk about Sug? I'm like, if this guy is scared of Sug, we're all in trouble. I think even white people knew to be scared of Sug. Yeah, yeah. Hammer was like, why'd you do that? Hammer. Hammer is wrong. MC Hammer? MC Hammer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. MC Hammer. I've met him all. I'm like Black Gump, man. I've met him all. I've been through every so many weird eras of show business. Shit, was Hammer the most... Most Ant Music, Eddie Murphy, Michael Jackson. Did anyone you... Kurt Cobain, we all met. Didn't meet. We met Kurt Cobain. We all... Oh, you did meet Kurt... Oh, wow. You were Kurt Cobain? We met Kurt Cobain. I hosted Ant TV Music Awards when they were on. Oh, yeah. With the guy who threw the bass up and almost fell on his head. Hey, man, I once went to a black church with Courtney Love. Okay? Now, black women get mad when they see you with a white girl anytime. But when you walk into a black church with Courtney Love... What were you thinking? Whose idea was it? They're like literally cursing, like, what the goddamn fuck is going on? What the goddamn fuck? Ah. Yeah, I remember Kurt and Courtney sitting on the ground by the page desk in that hallway, just between songs and just hanging out on the floor. I think they were in music twice. And one time I definitely remember that. I definitely seeing them in the cafeteria when we had dinner after they rehearsed. Yeah, yeah. But you didn't know. I mean, no one knew. It was the second time they came on their bigger deal. But it's definitely fun when you're back there and you see all the hosts or music that you love and then they're just stuck talking to you. Who's the host when you were there that kind of blew you away? The hosts? Or the hosts that you like to meet. Because it's weird. In SNL you're in your office or something. The host is up front and then they'll say, Charlton Heston would like to say hello. You're like, what? Yeah. I mean, some of those nonset words. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. They were all big stars. I remember being... And the guy's always been great. But I couldn't believe how talented Tom Hanks was. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. He had the read through and he could do like nine different voices. Yeah. And he was reading everything cold and he was just crushing everything. You're like... Sometimes you realize this is why they're famous. Yeah. Because you go, some people would bring real star. There's like a star power about them. Like, this person's a star. And then there's some that's sort of flat-lined in the week and I go, I don't get it. You can just see them read sketches and you go, they got nothing. I mean, it's hard to do the show. It's hard to read 55. My favorite was Stephen Segal. Oh, yeah. Favorite. Stephen Segal comes on. Okay. So, the legends of Stephen Segal was he was a bodyguard for Mike Ovidts or something. Yeah. The agent. Ben. Tai Chi and Perani. Tai Chi or whatever. Martial artist. Yeah. Whatever. He's like this kind of movie, kind of like this B movie star and C. C. There you go. C. B was a little strong. Yeah. D plus, she's like Scott Bale's B and he's under the sky. I personally really like Scott Bale. I like Scott. I like Scott. Anyway. I remember where he's at the read through table and he's at the front and it's time to read the first sketch and Stephen Segal picks up this thing and starts to read and you realize at that moment he's never auditioned for anything in his life. Oh, yeah. You realize at that moment there is a really a mafia and they literally shoved this guy in a fucking movie. Yeah. Cole reading is hard to do anyway. It's hard anyway. And you're in front of all these people and what was the one with Tommy Lee Jones on the boat? Even Trump's like, pick it up. Pick it up. So you know, when we were, when he came on, Kevin and I did Hans and Franz at the read through. Thank you. And we were making fun of Stephen was just button that lane. He's got the script and we're doing stuff like Arnold could definitely flick you with his little finger and you would fly across the room and land in your own baby pool. Flabber Lanch. And he's just like this reading. Yes. Okay. Right. You know, that kind of stuff. So then we're rehearsing on eight, eight, eight on Thursday, just like here basically, we read the scene. He doesn't, he's never said a word whether he liked or didn't like the sketch and gets on the show. And then we cut for a rehearsal. He walks off way off to the side and he's just staring up the bleachers. I don't know what he's doing. I'll go over and talk to him and say, Stephen. Are you okay? And this is the quote exactly like this. Not looking at me. I just wish Arnold was here so I could kick his fucking ass. So for 72 hours, he was steamed about that sketch. And I did tell Arnold six months later in Santa Monica in a restaurant with a full glow and cigar with all the Austrian guys around. I go, Stephen's a girl. He says, kick your ass. You know, and Arnold just leaned back and went, is that the fact? It's true. Absolutely true. Not a bit. Is that the fact? Then he blew smoke rings. It's called the girly man. Stephen's a girl story. No, you know what else? But I thought, you know, I was a little star struck by was Michael Jordan. Oh, Michael Jordan was the biggest host of our time. Yeah. And he was still playing, right? Was he still playing? Yeah, it was before baseball. We got to McDonald's with Michael Jordan. Oh, we did. We went down and went to McDonald's underneath. We went to McDonald's with Michael Jordan. What a lifetime bucket list thing. And I spaced it. We went down and he goes, let's all go. Yeah. Like during rehearsal, let's all run down. He was special. You and I used to go to McDonald's all the time. All the time. That's why we were so malnutrition. I ate there so much. We never made that much money and it was always like scraping. But I did remember that we went there and there's that sketch in the 50s where Rob was announced there. Oh, they're really giving their referees the business. And we were an all white team. We didn't want Michael on our team. Remember that? And he's like at half time going, can someone pass me the ball? Did you guys have any interaction with Michael like personal? I don't remember. I mean, I, you know, he was so intimidating because he was a sweetheart. He was sweet, but it was just like he came up to me and he goes, do you golf? And I go, well, a little bit, you know, what do you shoot? I go, I'm terrible. I don't know. Maybe a hundred or something. And he just paused and he was very serious. He goes, um, well, you're not very good. Are you? He said, no, I'm not. Anyway, he was, he was, uh, the other one was Mel Gibson. When Mel Gibson and his handsome prime hosted, I'd never seen the staff, the women on the staff get that crazy. Do you remember that? I was not there for Mel Gibson. And he is a hottie. I did a move. I did, uh, you did, uh, I did a lethal weapon for with, uh, with, uh, Mel Gibson before the, you know, sugar tits. What do you mean? Before that really loves Seinfeld right about now. There's a theme. I love this theme. Yeah. Go Wikipedia. Ask JVT. I just, you gotta be canceled for me to be friends with you. Yeah. Yeah. Why do celebrities who drink not get a driver? Or an Uber or, or, or anything. Or a Waymo. Why is Tiger Woods still? Yeah. See you later. I'm taking the old some feel. I mean, you know what? Take the keys away. I think too many. I think I knew Tiger was in trouble. He was, uh, that, you know, he had the whole cheating and whatever and his wife beat up the thing. Then he had a press conference with all his friends and he apologized. Now, right. Tiger's black and Asian and he has a press conference with his friends and none of them are black or Asian. Oh, what are they? I was like, okay. Sometimes if you're that famous, you gotta have a Mario join her in there somewhere. You gotta. Somebody. No, but, uh, somebody. Somebody. Come on. It's like not one. But if he's doing some things that he, if he's that level of fame, I think he just doesn't want a witness. You know what I mean? You don't want someone knowing what you're doing, hearing you talking on the phone and just quietly taking an info. Doesn't work because he has the money to hire a new driver twice a day. Is that the thing? Driving the more now you're out. Well, I guess you should have a full time drive. Yeah. Yeah. You can't have a full time. If you drive, you're paying them to shut the fuck up. Yeah. Exactly. Thanks, Rick. Everybody could drive. I can't find anyone else shut the fuck up. But only the good ones can shut the fuck up. Yeah. Right. And if they're deaf and mute, it's better. How you doing, Mr. Rock? Oh, you got three prostitutes. I ain't seeing nothin'. Yeah. I love fake driving. It's like 1941. That's what you are. All right, Tiger. We're going to the cause now. That's what you're paying for. Silence. That was a good topic. That was a good topic. Hey, it's your podcast. You've been busy. I'm just here. Why were you at the Met Gala? I was looking for you. I don't know. I was looking for you. I was looking for you. I was looking for you. I don't know. You didn't have anything stupid enough to wear. I went last year. I didn't go to show. Who wore it best? Who wore it best? I went last year. I didn't go to show. I've been a couple of times. Do you wear something weird or just a tux? Just a tux. Just a tux. I've been a couple of times. I still don't know what it's for. Is there anything after those stairs? Because once they get to that, I would just go home. Yeah, it's nothing. I got invited last year. And a year before that, I was trying to save a relationship. Oh, really? Interesting. Hey, maybe if I take her to the Met Ball. Nope. Yeah. Maybe I'm going to take you around more famous people. That's the tough one. Yeah, yeah. What goes on? I mean, we only see the red carpet, right? Right. And then what goes on after that? You eat shrimp? You can't eat shrimp. So a lot of rich people, a lot of rich techie, white people. They are like, ooh, this is Bob Zeminga, and his family owns the button. They invented the button. This is like all the buttons on the world. You ever heard about buttons? They own all the buttons on earth. Yeah. And if you're nice to him, he'll let you on his boat. Yeah. You got to have a button. This is Kelly Bluebley, and her family owns green. They own water. Jeff Bezos has a $500 million, what, a million dollar boat. It's like 1,000 feet long. It's got a sail. It's got another boat behind it. He's selling it because, quote, it draws too much attention. God bless. Maybe it's the five. I do like his wife, though. I mean, I've known Lauren a little while. Yeah. Yeah. Have you been on that one? I have not been on that boat. Have you been on George Lucas's? Have you been on Geffen's boat? I've been on some boats. I like it. I had no problem with a boat invitation. Yes. You'd rather float than sink. Hey, I tell some jokes, and I, you know. Get on boats. And I get on some boats. You don't have to say the name of the owner, but what's the best boat you've been on that you weren't holding? I can't. They're all nice, right? They're all nice. And it's, you know, to be black and to get on a boat leisurely is a great thing. It's like, it's like, ooh, I'm up top. You know, Chris, I don't know if you're working on your stand-up, but you've got, you've got at least four bangers in here that you can extend. And this is being recorded. But that is a great line. I'm like, ooh. You go to Metgallas, you go to the Oscars, you go on boats. You're living. My kids are grown. I go out. Yeah. I know you get out the house. You would get a tuna sandwich and you're just in a sketch and now good Lord. Look at us. All right. I found it kind of interesting that you did SNL and then you did Living Color. And then you were sort of, I think you did a movie or something. You're just sort of in it like this. And then you did Bring the Pain. And I remember watching it and went, oh, something just happened. Like something new happened with that special. Because I think you said you weren't serious. At least that's the quote I had. I mean, you weren't serious. I left SNL. I went to Living Color. How was it Living Color? Was it their last season or close to the end? It was their last season. Of course, as soon as I get there, the Wains quit. Because that's, they were a big part of that. That's just the luck of me. You know what I mean? The Wains quit the show. They are the show. Yeah. Well, you had Jim Carrey, right? Yeah. I've got Jim Carrey. Yes, that's me. So I get there because I felt, I don't know, I just felt like a cultural shift. But then that show gets canceled. And so I got no job. I got no job, no TV job. That good TV money. What happened was I bought a house in Brooklyn and I bought a carriage house that I would later lose a divorce. But anyway, I bought a carriage house. Sorry. Everyone loses a carriage house and a divorce at some point. And I don't know, I just had a big ass mortgage and I had to do more shows. And when I did more shows, I got fucking better. And at some point, my brother, I'm not going to say the comedian, because that would be disrespectful, but me and my brother went to see a comedian at Radio City. And like normal people, like we made some calls and we got some tickets. And I'm a comedian, right? In a car. I can count on one hand the amount of times I've sat in the audience for a comedy show, right? Right. And I left the show, I thought it was great. I thought the show was great. The show was great. But my brother, my brother Andre goes, you're better than that guy. The fuck out of here? And it hadn't occurred to me. It's like when the, sometimes the kid that's getting bullied gets bigger than the bully. Yeah. It doesn't realize it yet. Right. So right around that time, it took my brother telling me that I was better. That actually snapped me out of this thing. This was kind of a national headliner. And then like, yeah, then, you know, it's like one of those Rocky Montages where I'm just knocking motherfuckers out. Like I'm just like, I was just, I had gotten a lot better just from trying to pay for this house. I got really good. That's great. So get a big mortgage. Yeah. Everyone's like, we got that part down. And then go to a comedy club. Yeah, but I was out of show, but I was, I mean, put it this way too. I had given up, I'd been in a few movies. I'd been on Silent Live, I'd been on Living Color. I kind of thought I was done. As far as like being a famous person. Right, right. So my concern, not even a concern, I was like, okay, I love stand up. And all I wanted out of stand up, and this is like, this guy's a big star, but all I wanted out of stand up was to be George Wallace. Okay. Like George Wallace to me was like, a great stand up. A great stand up. This guy crushes every night. He would come into the club. The only other black guy, by the way, and he had great suits on. Yeah. And he had a fucking Cadillac. And he was opening for bands in Vegas and whatnot. And he was the only guy I knew that was so organized. He had like a real schedule. Like he didn't work in the summer. Like actually vacation and he had houses here and there. And I was like, man, if I could just be like George Wallace, then my dream, that's what I wanted. He took it seriously. He was good. But that guy was like a Jedi. Yeah. Like he wasn't thinking about being on TV or sitcom or a movie. He was killing. He was just working. Focus comedian. It was like, okay, that's what I want to be. I want to be a focus great comedian that other comedians respect as soon as I walk in the room. Well, that's what I wanted to ask you because, you know, Gaffigan, Jim Gaffigan, Jerry Seinfeld, these are, they get with the tape or they get their notes. I mean, Jerry gets nervous if he needs that one hour a day with his notes. Were you like that or was just the reps on stage? Or did you record it and listen? Because that's very painful to do for a comedian. I would record it. I would listen the next day. Okay. I mean, also it was one of these, you know, I'll give this, me and my ex-wife go back and forth. I was like, yes, I had been on Saturday Night Live. I've been in New Jack City. I was, you know, a mini millionaire at the time. But when I met her, I grew as a person. You know what I mean? Because I'd never really had a relationship, a grown-up relationship. So as I was growing up as a person, I was growing up as a comic. So I just had, I just saw the world, a bigger, wider way. And the better I, you know, I lucked up, you know what I mean? I lucked up in the sense that, you know, wow, fuck, I've been around a long time. So, you know, I guess they're channeling, but I'm one of the first cable stars. You know what I mean? Right. You know what I mean? It was like, when I broke, it was not from television at all. It wasn't from normal TV at all. It was from cable TV. So I was like this HBO thing. HBO is bring the pain. Yeah. And it got a lot of awards and recognition. Got awards and recognition. Critics loved it. Yeah. And for some reason, you know, it's just a joke, sticks, and you had something about peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. I don't know why. I never forgot that. I don't know why. What is that joke? We were so poor. My mother used to buy the peanut butter and jelly in the same jar. Yeah. That's like buying a shoe with a sock sold inside. Call it a shock. Oh, a shock. Yeah. When did you do Ninja with Farley? I did Beverly Hills Ninja with Chris Farley. That was like me being. Was that when you were... That was before bring the pain. That was after Living Color. That was me broke as fuck. Just take it for the money, right? You just go, I'll just go do it. Yeah. I was like, oh, wait a minute. This guy I used to share an office with gets $10 million a picture. So it's like, what the fuck? Yeah. What the fuck happens here? Yeah. That was after Tommy Boy. Yeah. I was like Tommy Boy. I was like, I'm not gonna do that. I had a lot of fun doing it. Here's a funny thing about that movie. I was horrible in that movie. Well, initially, right? So I was cut out of the whole movie. Like you were cut out of the Michael Jackson. I'm cut out of the whole movie. Bring the pain comes on HBO. And suddenly they put me back in the whole movie. Wow. Suddenly everything I did, me at craft services, eating a Snickers. It's in the credits. It's in the movie. It's like everything's in the movie now. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, yes. Reaction on Chris. He's not in the scene. I said, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. That was big. That was big. That was a seismic shift. What was your next move after you got big from bring the pain? I mean, what was your next move? I mean, I did another special. I mean, I did. Here's the weird thing. I'm just like, I'm getting, I'm hanging with Madonna. And so I'm with Madonna, right? And yeah, whatever. And you're hanging with her. I'm hanging. Okay. And she pulls out. She's getting ready to do a special in Cuba. I'm really, I'm literally right next to her. She calls her manager or somebody and she cancels the special in Cuba. Really last, last moment thing, right? So I know how much money she's getting. And I offer, I call up Chris Albright and HBO go, I'll do it. I'll do a special right now, but I got to get the same money. And? And I got it. So, so whatever it was, you could imagine, but before that, I probably got 20 grand for bring the pain. Like no comedian made any money. And so I like take Madonna's money, give me that money. But you did, did you shoot it in Cuba? No, no, no, we shot, we shot bigger in black or at the Apollo. Okay. That's right. And, uh, yeah. So I did that. So those two specials are like kind of like a year apart or a year and a half apart. But, um, are you ready or you didn't know? I wasn't really ready, but I knew I got it together. And I mean, I, you know, it was that time in your life. You know, there's a time in your life when you're just a vessel and the shit's coming through you like that. You know, so I was at that vessel point and, uh, Go Chris. Go coming through me. And, uh, most people think bigger and black is better bring the pain. That's like, even when, when they were albums or DVDs, bigger and black are always so far. Oh really? Yeah. It's the bigger special. Well, it's good. They're even close. I mean, usually a lot of people have one killer and then the rest, you know, because right now people do a lot of specials in a row and some get watered down. So then I started doing movies and, you know, Mel Gibson called. Hello. Melly Mel. He was nice. It was, it's crazy when you see what happens. And when, when he was the nicest guy. Oh yeah. To everybody. Even the Jews. He was just nice. Yeah. I never had one nice thing. Um, I think, I mean, I just, I think he's brilliant. I mean, I do have seen Apocalypse. Apocalypse was one of the best movies ever made. Yeah. It's unbelievable. I mean, and as an actor, so yeah, I believe in chances. Yeah. No, I got, hey, David, I gave him a second chance. Hey, hey, if they want to do another leaf of weapon, I'll take that check. Yeah. What's your biggest mailbox check? Madagascar. Oh yeah. Oh, it is that I turned down Madagascar. Whoa. Well, I was, I don't know. What the hell was going on with you? I had a bad day. You couldn't think of a leaner voice. Are you allergic to money? Kind of. They're in a hands-on. No, they wanted me to do a South African accent and I was like really working on it. I think Sasha Cohn-Baren did it. Ah. But now the, did you do the first movie? It's not that, because I did Secret Life of Pets. The first movie there was, thank you. Oh dear plus. And then the first movie, you didn't get much from Madagascar. No, no, no, no. But then. DreamWorks was a new company. Okay. So let's say, you know, I've been lucky a few times. So you get, if you get someplace early, they overpay. DreamWorks pays better than some of the other. DreamWorks, hey man, for the Shrek guys. Yeah. It's like, you know, those guys, they made so much money, none of them ever worked again. They all went like 20 years without working. They made so much money. And now they have two more. They just did. Yeah. So it's like, yeah. Shrek is angry. I love Eddie. Eddie, this is how crazy Eddie can be. Eddie has the studio in his house, like the recording studio in his house. So all he has to do is go downstairs to do donkey. To do donkey. And. All right. You do Eddie and I'll do my thing. And he would, he would make them wait for months at a time. And at least twice they negotiated deals with me to play donkey. Seriously? And then Eddie just went downstairs. Oh, I should. And won them out of $30 million. Just because Eddie went downstairs. The highs and the lows. He's 30. I'm on my way to the studio. Yeah, I'm donkey. Oh, Eddie went downstairs. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. God damn it. Eddie went downstairs. It is pajamas doing donkey right now. It's sad. You've had a big life, Chris. It's getting bigger. I'm not sure if you're watching this or watching this. I'm not sure if you're watching this or watching this. I'm not sure if you're watching this or watching this. I'm not sure if you're watching this or watching this. I'm not sure if you're watching this or watching this. I'm not sure if you're watching this or watching this. I'm not sure if you're watching this or watching this. I'm not sure if you're watching this or watching this. I'm not sure if you're watching this or watching this.哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎哎 You got that first through. Sign your video on the runnickine. Sada te. And Louis C.K. Louis C.K. was the director. Written by Louis C.K. and a little bit myself. I got some jokes in there. But, yeah. What about I'm gonna eat you sucker? Where's the one where you said, give me some ribs? What was the one where you said, give me some ribs? Oh, that's, I'm gonna get you sucker. You sucka. Oh, yeah, yeah. Directed by Keenan Ivery Wayne. Wains. Okay. That's right. Okay. Now, here's a weird story about I'm gonna get you sucker. I hope I'm not speaking out of tune. Most of that movie is thought up by Eddie Murphy. Like, Really? Yeah. And from what I hear, Eddie was gonna do it. And then he decided not to do it. And Keenan's like, hey, picked it off his thing. Hey, you thinking about doing this? Well, he still made it into Keenan's version of it. But the initial thing was Eddie Murphy. Yeah, he told me, he told me he came up with the fish in the shoe and all that stuff. But I, I play the rib man. And I'm gonna get you sucker. And it was based on like some real shit. Like, give me one rib. Yeah. It's hysterical. It's like, And the golden globe goes to, I'm going to get you sucker. Yeah. And Chris is one line. He comes in and then you go, give me a rib and you're, you don't have enough money. And then you go, how much for this? And then you pull out a wad of hundreds at the end. It's one, for a scene to stand up. How much for a soda? Yeah. Fuck the cup. Put it in my hand. I, yeah. See. My daughter's here like, huh? It's good when it works. Your kids know any of your shit. My kids don't know anything. Not really. My kids don't know nothing I've done and could care less. Yeah. It's kind of nice. In a healthy way. In a healthy way. Yeah. What about the one you just, the last one you just did? I just directed, uh, Mr. Green. It's going to come out. It's going to come out in November. It's at 824. It's kind of a drama, honestly. Okay. It's, uh, it's about a woman who's sugar daddy dies. And she's got a, a week to get her shit together. Or she might have to fuck a guy in Dubai. A tale as old as time. It's kind of like, it's the feel good picture. The feel good story for Christmas. The whole family is. Yeah. Did it start out more? Yeah. So that's, yeah, that, what about you? It's, it's the best way to describe it would be a female uncut gyms. Okay. Okay. So it starts a woman named Rosalind. She's on a show called slow horses. Oh, love that show. Anna Kendrick's her best friend. Uh, Daniel Kahlua. Yes, her brother. Adam drivers in it. Oh, you guys. Uh, and myself and a few other people, Anthony Anderson, Topher Topher, Grace. Yeah. So we got, have you done? I mean, it's, it's a nice little art movie. How do you direct people like that? Like Adam driver, you know, there's sort of brilliant at their craft. I mean, it's just very subtle. I mean, it's, it's kind of like comedians. I mean, you got to rehearse and, you know, figure out their moves and stuff. I mean, but he was great. He was like, you can, when you get an actor that good, every take, you're like, whoa, yeah. It's probably like, you think they'll be difficult when they're not, then it's easy. Cause then you have a back and forth, but some, if they resist, then it's a lot. I've been on movies where people really resist and you go, oh my God, this is just going to make it so hard. Yeah. Well, it was, it was, it was primed. There's some comedy in it, but it's definitely lean's dramatic. So yeah, I got, if it's funny, I got a ton of notes, but if it's not, you know, I'm going to trust Adam driver. Yeah. Yeah, I would trust Adam driver. Yeah. I think you can do a lot of the great actors you've worked with sometimes like after take that you think's brilliant. It's like, really? Was it good? Do you think it was good? Yeah. It seems like some of them are more self-critical. Like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. Wait, what movie was that one? I did a movie called Bad Company. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is that Brock Hopkins? Oh really? Tony? Tony Hopkins. I did a movie with Tony. What's your one? I think he had a Polaroid shot of his character. His character had funny teeth. It was all about the wellness industry in 1890 or whatever. And you'd be talking to him. And then they go, speed rolling. He would look at the picture, crush it on his face, and then breathe in like, and then put it in his pocket. And then he'd just be the character. Did you see any of that? I saw none of that. I swear, I didn't remember. I do remember like older actors, they want to rehearse, and do not give them new pages on the day. Yeah. And I remember the director giving them new pages, and him like, get the fuck away from me. Yeah. Give me new fucking pages. Yeah. Just for that, today you get four takes. Yeah. I remember with someone who just couldn't get their lines. I mean, Bert Lancaster, I was in a movie with him and Kirk Douglas, very sweet guy. And he'd be like, okay, I guess we're going to rob the train. And then everyone's just still and quiet. Line. And then the woman, because we got to do it today. Because we got to do it today. Line. And she would go on and on. Tracy Morgan's like that. Yeah. Like literally like, one of the funniest people ever. Oh, yeah. It's not that he can't do his, he doesn't know his lines. He can't do it the same way twice. Right. It has to be different. Yeah. A couple of, back to Michael Jackson. Yeah. Just fucking crazy name drop fest. So Matt, Eddie's house, me, there's a bunch of people, but I'll just say the name dropping names. So it's me, Eddie, Chappelle, and Tracy. A couple of people, Rob, Sam, Simone, lots of cool people there. And to watch the Michael Jackson movie with Tracy Morgan, kind of narrating. Oh yeah. The new movie. I'm gonna get me some bitty loafers. That sounds fun. Who you think hit harder, Joe or Joe Frazier? That's great. It's just like the whole movie wouldn't stop. That's hysterical. I got a name drop. Sorry about this kind of stuff. Tom Hanks was telling me that Clint Eastwood will sort of walk on the scene and he's just coming out there and the cameras are rolling. And he's like, okay, what is it? And the script side just goes, all right, so let's get out of here. All right, let's get out of here. So he likes to hear it right before he says it. Really? Really. And that's kind of like Brando would hide things in the ceiling and stuff. Anyway, inside baseball. Brando of an earpiece? Clint Eastwood is not Tracy Morgan. It's not as dynamic as a centerpiece of a story, visually and orally. I agree. All right, you got something. I'll give you one little more for Chris Rock before we get him on here. Chris Rock. Uh-oh. All right, let's just your hot takes on society. Me? Uh, AI, will it rule us? Will it take over be a good thing or a bad thing? You have five seconds. Um, hey, I personally know people that have actually lost jobs to AI. They're in the tech sector. So, hey, man, I don't know, for the arts, put it this way. To me, AI, just in my business, it's a drum machine. Okay? It's basically a drum machine. If Dr. Dreher drum machine, it's fucking magic. You give me a drum machine, it's a waste of time. So, I don't think it'll make shitty writers good because the good writers will have it too. You know what I mean? So, the distance is still going to be the same. Yeah. Between the talent, because, you know, everybody's going to have it, but it's obviously a little scary. I've definitely seen, you know, there's definite parts of the business that are going to be gone, you know. Yeah. Well, I was going to ask you about LA too and the recession in the film and TV business in Los Angeles. I did my movie, the whole movie we shot in LA. Good job. Yeah. Yeah. Home movie. They just did the- How much more expensive? I mean, that was more expensive, right? Probably was more expensive, but, you know, not my money. Yeah. I got actually some of it was, but I think I'm getting it back. Yeah. When did this movie come out? I put up some dough. This movie comes out in November. Okay. When the good shit comes out. I don't like the people that have AI and they have chat GBT and there's always one guy going, hey, can you start World War three? It's like, why? Let's not mess with it because they've, if they've read every book in the world, you're like, they can probably start some shit. So it shouldn't be in everyone's hands on their phone, which I think it is now. I haven't done it yet. We are living in the singularity. I mean, this is the printing press. This is fire. This is the atom splitting. Hey, I'm not even here. Really? No. We'd like to thank Chris's digital copy for being here. On the count of three, the hologram will disappear. This is what I was just curious about. You hanging out. Like what do you consume live streaming shows? Do you get into shows with your girlfriend and friends or what do you, what do you, what's a day off for you to go to movie theaters by yourself or what do you do? Hey, I love my Apple TV. All right. So you're watching neighbors. And when I travel, I, I, you know, just some fucking spoiled rich shit. I have the Apple TV hooked up in every hotel room I'm in so I can watch my shows. One of your shows, Slow Horses. Slow Horses. I'm, I'm waiting for, I'm watching Euphoria right now. I'm watching Euphoria too. Don't spoil that. I haven't seen the last one, but I'm only as far as everybody else. I like that it's every Sunday. I like that you can't jump ahead. It's like, I didn't see it this week. She's a nun. No, she has huge boobs again. Has anyone watched the pit? HBO Max, but I don't really see hospital shows, but this one is kind of extra, extra. It's pretty special. I want to pit, but it's just Brad Pitt telling girls they can't spend the night. I want to watch that show. Whenever Brad Pitt is on TV and my wife's just over there and I just go, I don't, I don't get it. I mean, really, there's not much going on with him. I mean, is that considered handsome? You know, I don't see it. I remember being at a party. You ever been in a room with fucking Pitt, Ben? So you're a part, right? And Obama, you meet a woman. The woman talks to you like this, right? When Brad Pitt walks in the room, every woman takes a step and a half back from whatever guy she's talking to. Like every woman's like kind of aware with like, it's like when a pit bull gets loose in the neighborhood. Like every woman knows exactly where the fuck Pitt is in the room. And if I have a chance, I'm not going to fuck it up tonight over Chris Rock. They get a little bit away. And then he gets a woman or he leaves the party and then the girl starts talking to you normal again. Hey, how are you? Is this kind of a tale? Is this also a tale when Brad Pitt comes in and a woman might just kind of just do this? You know, just a subtle... She's cleaned it up a little bit. Yeah, cleaned it up a little bit. Yeah. You ever seen that? I haven't seen it. Yeah, they kind of let you know like, hey, if he even looks this way, I'm going to kick you down a flight of spades. Yeah, immediately in a wood chipper. I'm a huge fan. He's a great guy. He's a great guy and a great actor. Chris, you remember when... Oh, Marcy said, but Marcy would bring Carolyn Massette or on the office at SNL. And Carolyn Massette was so stunning and we all kind of had a crush on her. And then we got the news she's dating JFK Jr. And we're all like, oh, that's her type. Oh, the kind of guy every person in the world loves. I thought she'd be a little more interesting. I thought she'd like squirrely broke writers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I remember. I went out with her roommate for a minute. You went out with her? Oh, really? Hmm. Yeah. Anyway. Plot-tickening. Plot-tickening. That's as far as it got. Yeah. I'm going to just try to mention a celebrity and see if you have a six degree... No, I'm not that guy. I'm not... No, it's just because you go... But I don't do that in my act. Well, people like you. I mean, and they want to hang out with you. That's all. I mean, we get to hang... We're hanging out with you right now. We're hanging out. This is... This is fun. This is the most fun you've had today, right? This is kind of the most fun I'm gonna... Well, maybe later, huh? Uh-huh. Well, it was over there. Yeah. All right. Well, Dane, any last questions for our good friend? Just so... Can you give me just quick... What do you want? What do you want? Adam Sandler. What is with that guy? I call him Adam Sandler Claus. Because... Because of the color. I love that guy. It's weird. I realize Adam Sandler might be my oldest friend. Like... Excuse me? That's right, because it was pre... Well, because we know... No, I knew him before I got on SNL. We were doing... Oh, the first thing you did at the Kennedy Center when they were vetting Adam. Oh, yeah, you knew him before. Yeah, I knew Adam, like, a year and a half, two years in the stand-up. So I've known Adam, like, 40 years or something. That part of the story that you told about Adam was really touched me. It was so sweet. Well, it... Just at the club and then the... It's like, okay, I'll tell the story again. So at any comedy club, you start stacking chairs. Mm-hmm. That first is the privilege is to just be allowed in the club. And then, okay, we're going to let you clean off tables. And then, okay, we're going to give you late night spots during the week. So you can go on at one o'clock in the morning on a Wednesday, right? Yeah. And then you get week spots, spots during the week. And then the greatest thing you can do after a couple of years of working is they let you work the weekends. Right? Mm-hmm. So, and that is like, you're a top comic, right? Right. And so I'm at the club. Pre-SNL. Pre-SNL. Yeah. I meet Eddie Murphy at the club. Mm-hmm. I meet Eddie Murphy at the club one night as I was stacking chairs. Okay? I was stacking chairs. Eddie had watched like four guys and he goes to this guy, Lucian Holt. Hey, you got any black comics? And Lucian Holt's like, we got one right here. The guy hadn't spoke to me in six months. Eddie has that effect. They put me on stage in front of Eddie. Eddie laughs. Eddie proceeds to tell me my whole life. Oh, wow. So Eddie tells me, you're going to be in movies. You're going to do SNL. You're going to do this. You're going to, like, everything that's happened to me in life, you're going to direct. You're going to do this. From seeing one set? From seeing like, like eight minutes. Here and there. Like literally. Eight minutes. Literally predicts my whole future. Yeah. Okay. You're going to get married. You're going to get divorced. Like everything. Married divorce. Did he say we were going to meet me? Yeah. He said we have to do this podcast. The church lady. So, and, you know, and this is like the real Eddie Murphy. This is like, this is not Dr. Dolittle. This is like, this is Eddie. This is red leather. Yeah. He probably had on some green leather. Like Elvis Eddie and he's got 20 guys with him. And he's like, we're going to LA tomorrow. You should come. I go to LA with Eddie. Holy shit. And I end up in Beverly Hills cop. Two. That's right. A movie. That I saw four times the date came out. I saw a Beverly Hills cop. One me and Fred Barton, who's not alive anymore. So four times anyway. So I'm in LA. Doing that. I come back. Cause I have to come back. Only, you know, I only made $600 doing Beverly Hills cop. Right. And who do I see? Who the fuck's this white kid on stage on Saturday night? Is that how they do? What the fuck is going on here? Right. It took me two, three years to get on at Saturday night. So he just came out of nowhere. Who the fuck is this guy? Sandler. Yeah. And like everything in my body said to hate this guy. Cause not only is he on Saturday night and obviously didn't earn it. They told me he's on the Cosby show. It's like, motherfucker, how come I'm not on the Cosby show? I'm a black guy. Who is this white boy on the fucking Cosby show? Excellent. Going on at Saturday night. And I watched him and I was so prepared to like, like fuck this guy. And hope and say he's not. And he did this joke about Wilt Chamberlain scored a hundred points in a game. It was like his impression of the other players on the team. Hey, Wilt, I'm open. But he also had a line where they're in a huddle. Wilt's already scored 98 and the coach says, okay, who's got Wilt? That was another one. He had that other one about his grandmother rubbing Vicks' baby rub on his chest. And he looks his grandmother in the eyes and goes, we're just friends, right? So, I'm watching him do this and all the hate just left my body. I was like, this guy is the best. This guy's so fucking funny. Oh my God. And we just became friends that night. But wasn't there a moment where he was with sort of a gang and then he saw you and sort of said, you know, he invited you into this. Well, he was with all those guys he's right with now were there. So like Jack Garaputo and Hurley and all those guys, you know, he was going to NYU at the time. He was going to NYU. We had such insanely different backgrounds. Okay, so he's literally going to NYU. I'm at his dorm and all this shit. I'm living in Bed-Stuy. It is the height of the crack epidemic. Okay. Not this hipster bed style you hear about now. This is grandmother's blowing people fucking crack head. Right. So the home values were pretty good. It was insane, dude. It was a crack was an insane time. Because crack in the VCR came out at the same time. So guys with people would do it was like the fucking opium war is a some shit and guys would show you tapes of somebody's mother fucking three guys. It was crazy. Crack was insane. Anyway, the good old days. Then I remember me and Sandler auditioned for a SNL on the same night. I was doing a movie called hanging out with the homeboys. And the director, we were in rehearsals and I had the auditions were in Chicago. And so I needed a day off to go audition and the director was like, if you leave, you're fired. I left. They fired me. And I went to audition for SNL. And me and Sandler auditioned the same night. I did good. I don't think it was great, but it was good. And Sandler did good. And we both, we watched Dana Gould destroy. Oh, yeah. Great coming. And Dana Gould did so well. I left. It's like, why am I even here? This guy's like the king of this shit. Yeah, great stand up. And me and Adam got the job. You came in. Me and Adam and Farley auditioned because we auditioned at the improv and he was around the corner at Second City. Second City. Yeah. So we all got. Could I ask you a question of something that's stuck for 30 years? This thing, you and Farley, right? Because I think I made a joke when you guys, the first day you were hired, I think I was on Letterman. And I did a thing of I always have some new guys and I was sort of kidding, but I said, you know, I am, you know, I'm the freaking church lady. Now give me a cup of coffee. I think I said that. And then you and Chris just called me the lady, period. Every rehearsal, see it, where's lady saw you lady. Good job lady. Yeah. Same thing with Farley. It was only lady, only you two guys never stopped. I think if I saw you. I didn't call you Dana until 2022. Yeah. Yeah, I remember that day. I teared up a little bit. I was like, I have a name. I'm a person. I have. Yeah. David. I saw Chris on the back of some comedy magazine. It was a picture of you and Sandler in the corner and I was in LA and I, I didn't know either of you guys. Then I met Sandler, but I was doing the same thing in the valley here where Schneider and Drake say there and a lot of comics were going on and Judd and, and I'd see Sandler and covert and, you know, same situation where Sandler was great. And then we all kind of goofed around and, and then he goes out, you know, and then he's doing out there, you and then we all wind up in the same show. It was such a ridiculous miracle. It's so funny how that happened. It's so strange. It's like, yeah, ridiculous. Just to make a living. I'm, that's all I thought about when I put down my waiter apron. Could I, this be my job. Could my job be doing stand up basically that was it. You still, that's the touchstone and then other things happen to still that is full circle. You're still doing good. Dana, you're doing great. Thank you. And let's thank the audience for coming down. You guys, we appreciate it. And thank you, Chris Rock. Chris Rock, everybody. We'll see you guys. Thank you. 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