Brandi Carlile asks about Jesus

This is a HeadGum Podcast. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that I've got my handsome tuxedo ready to go before a big event. Big mistake. Now I'm walking the red carpet in a t-shirt and jeans. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Handsome Pod. Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod. Chatting with friends on the Handsome Pod. Cheers. Welcome to the Handsome Pod. I'm Fortune Beamster. I'm Mae Martin. And I am Tig Notaro. Oh my God, that was the cleanest we've ever intro'd this podcast. yeah yeah i just went for it i i took a risk already because we're in the same place our energy's electric i could feel the energy you stuck the landing i'm gonna get whoa are you not ready was it too soon whoa i was ready i was ready yeah yeah i'm so sweaty hands sorry because i drove here that's all right i did see my pull up in their car yeah why are your hands sweaty because you drove here i'm still nervous about driving i hold tight two hands ten and two yeah gripping like gripping yeah yeah gripping i think so yeah i think so went in a car wash though how was that did you mean to uh yeah i think yeah i meant to okay and it was i love the whole experience yeah the guys kind of tell you okay move forward and you drive i can't stand that i hate it oh really i can imagine depends on the guy i had a nice guy who we were joshing around a it but you had a humorless no i'm not looking for a funny uh you're not looking for a friend no i'm not i'm just trying to park the car right and uh if somebody gets behind me and they're like and i haven't asked them to oh yeah like get out of here yeah you know when they just like yeah i guess it feels like mansplaining or something to me i'm like i'm all good buddy yeah car splaining don't need it yeah look at your bracelets see when we're together in the room there's so much more stimuli you know what i love about you when your voice makes that yeah yeah that's that's that's the sweet spot okay let me tell you about this my um childhood friend eliza she made this for me she makes bracelets and um clearly and she's korean so There's a little Korean something on here. Oh, is it like a... Oh, there it is. I don't know what it says. Okay. Can you read Korean? I cannot. Okay. I can, but I choose not to at the moment. You choose not to read Korean. And then this is from Sandro, who is the number two on Starfleet Academy. He's right under Holly Hunter. Okay. And he's the young kind of rebellious kid on the show that Holly's trying to, you know. Anyway, so he got these for all the cast after season one. Ew. And my character on Star Trek, my name is on here. Reno. Oh, that's nice. I liked it. Yeah. Maybe we need friendship bracelets. Are these friendship bracelets? Well, if he got one for everyone on the crew, yeah, that's a friendship bracelet. This is a co-worker bracelet. Oh, wow. we need to get co-worker yeah yeah true I think we're not friends we're more than friends I'm back I knew you were going to come around playing hard to get over there I always come around I swear to god come on come on now come on I know did you guys notice I have makeup on no I don't have my glasses on I did notice that you have makeup on do you look hot? very hot I'm not even going to put my glasses on just tell me I just have makeup on put them on take it all in I was filming today it's really subtle though it's just bringing out your inner beauty thank you my curls are tight your curls are tight what are we talking about the only thing that's tight around here you know what I mean I don't I'm not gonna something is I'm not gonna go any further okay I'm wearing makeup too are you yeah always clear mascara no not today just the usual boy brow Nikki later heard the thing about us riffing on clear mascara and always laughs about us she did talking about clear mascara That's crazy. It's crazy that people hear this podcast. Especially friends and family. I know. Where they're like, oh my gosh, I was listening this and that. And I'm like, you listen to my show? I know. I went on a walk around the res with friend of the pod, Alison Brie. Oh, you did? I always just, I never quite believed that she listens to it. It's almost like I want to test her, but she really does. She really takes me occasionally with some reference to the pod. She knows what's going on. Yeah. She's the best. She's so funny. It was such a nice walk. If only she were in good shape, though. If only she was prettier. If only she was attractive and in good shape. They're a good looking couple, those two. They're a great looking couple and really smart and writers. And yeah, I'm into it. And they, yeah, they're collaborative. Yeah. Yeah. I. Yes. Well, unrelated. Okay. That's fine. We can pivot. Okay. So, you know, I'm prepping to go on tour and part of what I'm thinking about is like, is magic real? And can I affect reality with my mind? This is part of the stand up? Sort of the themes I'm thinking about. Hilarious to me. Yeah. Well, you know what? I don't know if you know this. This is true. Magic is kind of moving in on comedy. Do you know this? In like popularity. Oh, like close up magic? Well, like magicians. Yeah, magicians. Magicians. That whole world is becoming gigantic. Yeah, what does that signify, I wonder, about where we're at? We just want to be astounded. But I'm more like spirituality or things that 200 years ago they would have said were magic, but now we know it's science. Anyway, so I keep seeing those experiments with rice. I think I've talked about it. You put rice in two jars. And then you write, I love you, on one of the jars. You write, I hate you on the other jar. and every day you go to the one I love you so much and then to the bad one you're like I hate you you're awful is this what you are doing I've been doing this every morning and it's a really weird thing to do on by yourself but uh or even with people I would say yeah and I've seen this online tons of times where the the one that says I hate you rots faster really yes guys guess what happened What? You ate it. You ate a beef bowl. The one I say I love you to. Said I love you back? It's rotting. So what is it? Is my love rotten? Or did I smother it? Is it rotten? Yeah, do you normally say rotten? I don't know why I said it like that. Well, your accent's all over the place. I don't think I would normally say rotten, but. I don't think your love's rotten. I think you got some bad rice. I mean, it's significantly... No, but it was the same batch of rice. Wait. The one you... Thank you for digging into this with me. The I love you rice is rotten. And this is... I hate you rice is... Perfectly pristine and white. Cooked rice? It's cooked? It's cooked white rice. Okay. And I'm not saying like one of... I mean, the one I say I love you to is black mold. And the other one, perfectly pristine. This is weird. At what point do you toss it? Soon. I think it's time, actually. It's time to break up with your rice. Maybe the I love you is hearing you say, I hate you. You're doing it too close to each other. That's possible. But then how come the I hate you one's not? Because it's a narcissist and it only hears that you love it. Yeah. I don't know what the hell's going on because I've proved something, but not what I was expecting to prove. And I feel worried about what my focus is doing to that rice. What part of it is the hypothesis? I remember that word. The hypothesis is that your intention can affect reality. And I've read all about this rice experiment. And this is before you do the experiment. You have a hypothesis. And then you try to prove the hypothesis, right or wrong. And yeah, like, you know how if you're kind to plants, they flourish? Yeah. So it's that kind of, and that's scientifically proven. Yeah. If you sing to them, you talk to them. I flourish in kindness as well. Don't we all? Do we? Does everyone flourish in kindness? Yeah, people flourish in kindness. Some people like to be hermascus. Yeah. You know, some aren't really into that. Yeah, but like, you know how they say that girls like a bad boy? Right. I don't know. Like they don't flourish in kindness. Have you ever liked a bad boy? Me? Yeah. Me? No, me. Yeah, Fortune, imagine in front of you there's nice boy and bad boy. They're both handsome. Well, I don't like, I don't like boys, so I guess for fun I'd go with the bad boy. Why not spice it up, you know? That sounds fun. Like that guy in that show you watch who knows how to put it down. That's right. Tell me lies. Tell me lies. He's a bad boy. You know, I think I had a little bit of a thing for some bad girls. Bad girls? Yeah. We've all dated a bad girl. Yeah. Yeah, we all like bad girls. Oh, I don't want that. I don't want a bad girl. No, no, no. Me neither. What do we mean by bad? like just people that um chaos inducing yes right yeah right right yeah i like a bit of it in a safe container uh-huh with rice with rice yeah you like a sprinkle of it i like a sprinkle of like unpredictability wait have you made out anymore with the person you made out in the car with uh with that person i have not did i know about this no yes you did remember i was let down because I thought it was going to be salacious. Oh, that's right. That's right. But you guys thought I was let down. That was a one and done? I did have an experience where I kissed someone in my car and I was parked. You love this car now. I love this car. You need to go to a drive-in movie. That's all I want to do. I love a drive-in movie. Can we be in the back giggling? All I want is you guys in my car. Yeah. Yeah, that would be great. But so I was parked, but my foot was on the brake. but then I we kiss and I guess I should have had a neutral need to have it in park or park yeah so then let's go with park my foot came off the brake and my because neutral you all you all just roll yeah right yeah so it was a jump scare for sure my foot came off the brake and then the car went almost into the car in front of me oh my god that would be terrible oh I wish that was the story that would have been funny I know did you still get the kiss got the kiss okay can I tell you a fun makeout story yes girl girl settle in and let me tell you what was so fun okay so there was this girl you know we had this thing going for months and but at the very beginning of it i told her i was like you know what i've always wanted to do is just get a taxi and just drive around town and make out. Love this. And she was like let's do it. I love this. So we hail a cab and we are macking down. Oh my god. That's a risk. You don't know. But not a show for the driver. Because they do watch. I don't care. I know. I'm just telling you. They are watching in the room. Well how do you know? Because Fortune makes out like they're not. I've made out some taxis. Fortune used to be a cab driver. And they do watch. Trust me, they watch. And they love it, okay? No, I just thought, it was one of the, you know, when you first are meeting and dating or hooking up with somebody, it's like, let's do this. Okay, so get a cab. We're driving around Los Angeles. And that's what I told the guy. I was like, just anywhere. And he was like, okay. Oh, wow. You want to just drive us around? Yeah, just drive us around. Okay, so then we pull up and... To his mother's house. We pull up to some store. She wanted to go in and get something. She's an actress, okay? Okay. When she gets out of the car, he goes, can I ask you something? And I said, sure. And he said, who is... He said, that woman looks very familiar. Who is she? And I said, I have no idea. after we've been driving around that's the end of the story I think I know who it is you do? I don't want to say it well you can say it but bleep it out yeah I knew it how did you know? smart I don't know who that is even but I knew that y'all had had a thing dated or whatever you call it so funny to have the awkward just you and the taxi driver in the car though as well like after she gets out and you've just been fully. But also you don't want them being like, I recognize any, either. You know what I mean? That's where you want to be anonymous. Well, that's why it was fun to just be like, yeah, I don't know. I don know who she is Was the beer running Like how much was this bill I don remember Here another fun thing Yeah This is a really fun thing that I could see you enjoying Okay. I asked this girl out who we had already been seeing each other, but on a particular date. Okay. To a hotel room. I'm in. Only during the day to order room service and watch a movie. Oh, that's good. That's good. Yeah. That's really good. Yeah. And so did you have to pay for the night? Yeah. And you said, we'll just go there for the day and hang out? Let's just go get a hotel room, watch a movie, and order room service. Okay, I'm doing that. It was so fun. That's fun. That's really fun. It was so fun. I've had the room for the, just the, I've rented it for the night, but we just used it during the day and used the spa, like the steam room. Yeah. And that stuff. And then used it for the room for other things. For what was that? Other things. Such as? And then left. Uh-huh. Didn't stay the night. Have you ever in a hotel room? Yeah. I realized this a couple of nights ago when I was in Chicago. I see these all the time in the hotel room. Never used one. Yeah. Have you ever used a shower cap? I sure have not. Well, now I know something I really want to see, which is all of us in shower caps. like our like bonnets like little bonnets I forgot about our bonnets oh someone gave us those in Toronto I don't think I've used one except when you're getting your hair dyed sometimes they put like a plastic bag but like to get into the shower who the hell like they are in every hotel room there must be enough people that don't want to get their hair wet that this is still in demand well I'm going to start asking around because yeah do let's ask our listeners do any of you wear shower caps. Please let us know in our social media comments. This is the last hotel thing I'll say. Okay, give it to us. Do you notice that hair dryers are mysteriously hard to find? It's like, where is it? Is it in the drawer? Is it in the... This better be your new hour. It's called Where Is It? All observational comedy about hotel rooms. My new special. Where is it? Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking that I've got some paint and a canvas when I'm headed to the wilderness. Major regret. I'm overdue for another animal painting, but without art supplies, I just can't express myself. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions, and availability. All state North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. People keep asking about my 2026 resolutions. Sure, I've got the usual goals, creative projects and cooking more meals at home. But this year, there's a new one at the top of my list. Get comfy. That's where Bombas comes in. They're bringing serious comfort to all my everyday go-tos. The all-new Bombas sport socks are engineered with sport-specific comfort for running, golf, hiking, skiing, snowboarding, and all sport. 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I like the steamer. Wait what are you You're a steamer too And you know Ricky Lindholm She has a really funny bit That I'm like god I wish I thought I mean it's so funny Just that like how long Have ironing boards been around And they can't fix it To where it doesn't go Like when you open it I mean truly how is that The case Well the steamers do get dangerous I you know sometimes have dum-dum moments not thinking and I have not our fortune don't talk about my friend like that I have been like oh I missed this spot and did the steamer and it just burnt your cooter my cooter it burnt my cooter why are you always drying your crotch yeah why are you steaming your cooter I don't know I like it was like a wet spot not not what you don't get your head out of the gutter and then I tried to steam it out and just burnt my cooter crispy fried cooter crispy fried cooter so those things do get very hot but I do prefer them to the iron it's a whole thing have you ever ironed your cooter? no give it a whirl that sounds painful I feel like vajazzle used to be the butt of every joke and stand up what is that? people were putting like gems on there maybe you had to iron them on you know like swarovski crystals yeah but it kind of went away you know what I'm talking about right girl? Girl, I don't. Girl, just like a little crystal. Like your name or something, Tig? People put that on their crotch? Yeah. That was a thing at one point. I don't know if it's still a thing now. Wouldn't it fun to have Tig's name down there though? It's small. On Tig or on us? I wonder if I understand what's happening right now. It's like you glue gems to your pubic area. Yeah, like it's decorated. So you have no hair there? you like rip the hair out have you seen one in person I've never seen one in person have you a cooter let's not get crazy here I'm talking about the vajazzle never heard of this are we goozling I don't want to see it I wasn't showing you a picture of mine of your vajazzle cooter just here let me get out my powerpoint presentation you need to iron that thing how can they have shower caps in every room and then not toothpaste in every room I hate having to call down and never have toothpaste and they hate that you're not bringing your own toothpaste that would be expensive for them to yeah that checks out yeah that's true but sometimes they'll supply those tiny tiny off brand where it just says mint paste yeah mint paste yeah all the q-tips you could want I love a Q-tip. I know you're not supposed to, but... I love them too. Do you? I want to buy that thing on Amazon that pushes the water in your ear. Don't do it. You want water pushed into your ear? I don't think that's bad, is it? I've been the victim of... I have all these gadgets. Really? I have bought every gadget. We know your Amazon wish list is... I'm not going to use Amazon anymore. Why? I'm turning a corner. I'm like, this is one thing I can do is... Boycott. Boycott Amazon as much as possible. Okay. i am boycotting amazon and target and i'm trying i'm trying but um well do we have is now the time thomas should i oh wait what well what's happening so we're talking about gadgets you're talking about this you're pregnant i am with child uh no so um i don't know if you noticed like a different piece of furniture in here that might yeah yeah yeah this round um footstool okay yeah but it's not actually a footstool guys what is it it's one of my new gadgets this is a gadget y'all we didn't know anything about this thomas is may may surprise oh oh my god that is hilarious we want it's like an alien may's ass is on camera but is it is it also a part-time stool? Part time stool, full time massager, whatever you want. Tig's kicking off her shoes. Do I have to take my socks off? Onto me. I think you should leave your socks on for hygiene purposes. You think I'm not clean? No, I'm sure you are. It's pretty intense. I'm a germaphobe. I want to see what everyone... Ow! Really? Are you serious? Yes! I have it on the strongest. Ow! I'll put it down. Wait, no, no, no. Ow! oh my god oh my god wait wait are you are you wanting this you want me to fix it have you tried this i don't like you don't like that oh my god this is hell this is hell oh my god wait have you done this i'm loving it wait is it on the highest thing no it's in the lowest got here i don't know i'm asking i think it just released a little now it's uh vibrating it'll go through a cycle of different things so it's like this is hell it's pretty intense right well yeah squeezes rolls heats up that's the lowest feels like a rodent is nibbling on my how did you land on this uh you were you were scrolling through your amazon bear no look me in the eye where did no it actually is called chill chair it's a private company it was advertised to me and i said yeah okay okay always trying to relax advertised to you and you love this oh on social media yeah and you love this i'm well i'm kind of on the fence i can't decide if it's good or bad for me um but it does heat up it's it's warm okay so funny and i just wanted to give you guys a glimpse into what my evenings are like like my evenings are i got that on i got sometimes like a vibrating face wow you're like a vibration and yeah um invisible mascara invisible mascara and then i have like an ab workout machine so i've got this like shakes your head vibrating your entire body no i'm going like this doing crunches so i'm watching tv and i'm like oh what is your goal what are we what is this all to maximize my time your time of rest needs Vibrations. Yeah. I'll take whatever help I can get. Is it starting to become comfortable? It's not. You're very tense up there. Your whole body is so tense. I can see you kind of jiggling. My feet are relaxed right now. If you had titties, this would be real fun. No, I have dumpster titties and we all know this. I'd really enjoy this vibration if you had some tiggo bitties. Fortune, are you keen to get in there? Why not? Well, it's settled down now. No, no, no. Put your little hooves back on. Oh, now Tate doesn't want to share. Well, because now it's settled down and it just feels good. Now you like it. Yeah. Okay. I need to get an ab machine. Well, now I'm just here with one shoe on and one shoe off. I'm not sponsored by this machine. But my shoe looks like you have it on, doesn't it? Yeah, it sure does. Yeah. Well, I guess I'll just sit here like this with one shoe on, one shoe off. Fine by me. Do you, Jenks, you both said fine by me at the same time. Yeltsman. Yeltsman. Yeltsman. I still do that. New Daily. So I was looking into the lyrics of that song to see if I could memorize them. And it's actually kind of problematic. It is? And it's all about how he wants to date Asian women. Oh, really? Well, there's all these weird things in it. And then I was saying that to my friend. I was like, can you believe that Innocent song, actually, if you slow it down? And she's like, well, the band's called Bare Naked Ladies. What do you expect? And I was like, oh, yeah. That's a good point. Yeah. right under our noses they just seem fun because they sing if I had a million dollars it's been okay this is what I'm oh it's back to the abusive side I gotta stop stop oh boy Allison Janney broke my ribs May Martin broke my toes I'm taking my shoes off I'm getting ready for whatever this ride is Ah, it's a good one. Is it gonna fit my big feet? Yeah. Of course. One size fits all. Because what size are you? Big. Like what? Tell us. Yeah, I got pretty big feet. Big, medium, and large. I'm seven men's. Oh, I'm nine and a half men's. Whoa. That's right, Mae. Okay. I'm just a pretty little lady. Oh. Oh. Is it hurting? It tight Oh I told you It smashes I told you It smashes your feet No I told you Ow What No no I want to go through the pain. I want to go through the cycle. Girl. Girl. We need to have a slumber party. Oh, my God. Girl. Oh, my God. It just smashes them, the front part, quite a lot in the beginning. Do you remember when I yelled, this is hell? Uh-huh. Does that make sense? Yeah. Okay. It does. Okay. Now I'm like. And I don't have size 10 men's feet. But now it's calming down. I told you. There's some comfort here. Like, would you ever have this on set or something in your... In my space suit? In your space suit, yeah. That looks pretty spacey, actually. Maybe you have to... Why am I jiggling more than you were jiggling? You got titties. Isn't that the best word? Tits and titties. I love it. And cooter. Milkers. Because there's moments of this that are very relaxing. And then it'll surprise you with the sharp pain. It's like a bad relationship. Yeah. That's what I was talking about with the bad boys. This should be called the bad boy. The bad boy. Because he's real nice to you and takes you on a date and then he doesn't come home one night. And you're like, when it's good, it's good. It sounded like I pooted. Pooted? I've never heard pooted. You've never heard pooted? I've heard toot it. It's a poot because it's that like pfft. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That sound. I think that you're the only person alive that has made that sound. That's a poot. That's like at the end of the day. That's a poot. I've probably said this, but I dated this woman who would, in the morning, I always noticed that she was like lying on me and then her hands would kind of go behind her And then sometimes I'd hear like, and then I realized. Was she taking her butt cheeks apart? She was in the morning. What are we talking about? She didn't want to make a fart sound or wake me up. But she wanted you to talk about it on a podcast in a few years? She was sneakily just pulling her own butt cheeks apart. That's a poop. Yeah. That's a poop. I'd never even thought of that message I can't believe she was laying on you and spread her butt cheeks I love that fortune knew right away where she spread well how else would you reach your hands back there but what I said to her was like I reach my hands I told you that's the bad boy he's yelling at me right now I told her I would be kind of more into it if she'd just do the fart and get the comedy You told her that? Oh, we all talked about it. Yeah, we talked about it. Did you say pardon me, but did you just spread your cheeks? Yes. Did you really? She was mortified. I don't know if I have the courage to bring that up. That is a courageous thing you did, Meg. Really? No. I don't know if courage is the word I would use. I said I'd be more into it if you were confident enough to just, and so that's what started happening. And after I said that, then every morning. Oh, she let it rip. I would feel her body tense, and I'd start laughing right away. That was the start of the day whistle is what she was doing. And she always woke up on top of you. She would lie, always sleep the whole night on my chest like that. Yeah. The whole night? I know why. It was actually the best sleeps ever. Really? I would get hot. But isn't that weird that I was kind of turned on by the fact that she was confident enough to just fart on me? I don't have a fart fetish. You have. Sounds like you do. I don't. I don't. I swear. I have news. You do. You don't not have one. How about that? I have a fetish for people who are confident enough to use a fart as a punchline. Well, I told you. You must. You know, I like you a lot. I told you about my friend's mother who would make eye contact. Oh, yeah. Iconic. And she would just be like, are you going to stay for dinner? Excuse me. Oh, my God. I don't want that. But she wasn't doing it as a joke. She just couldn't. No, she was like a drill sergeant slash running. or what is it like a linebacker yeah you know i think i want a moo moo off my feet you want this to stop but i liked it thanks yeah i did i appreciate this experience i feel like i'm on shark tank thomas help me now you want to try it and then we should get to our questions as much as i would love to talk about tooting Thomas help oh my gosh was this on the list at any point no but we can mark it off when is our slumber party oh my god say the word doesn't it feel like we're at one now I mean wait are you doing that with your legs or is it doing no it's doing that for me oh my gosh does it not hurt It's doing the squeezing thing. And now we're all just shoeless. Oh, but you're a tough guy, I guess. This feels like a slum party. Maybe you guys were at the wrong angle. Don't blame this on us. All right, we're going to get to our question. You continue doing what you want, and Tig's going to tell us who our question asker is. It's too distracting. I can't do this, but it's good. This is very exciting, because our question asker today just sang America the Beautiful at the Super Bowl not too long ago. Kid Rock? Can you imagine if we had him on the show? Bang, bang, bang, dang, dang. Okay. Today's question asker is a highly celebrated singer, songwriter, producer, and activist who has won 11 Grammy Awards and two Emmy Awards. She co-wrote and performed the original song Salt Then Sour Then Sweet for the Oscar-nominated documentary Come See Me in the Good Light. Heard of it? Huh? Heard of it? That's right. Brandi Carlile is asking today's question. Nice. Hey, Handsome Pod. It's Brandi Carlile. Hi, Brandi. So I have a question for you because I've been hearing a lot about this lately and I've been really wondering how this lands on queer people. How do you feel when you hear the word Jesus? What does it make you feel like when you hear that name? Do you feel like triggered or curious, inspired, concerned, distrustful? how does the word jesus make you feel in these times that we're living through look at brandy all dressed up do you think this was right after the super bowl no unless she ran off stage she's like i must go uh fill my handsome she looks very handsome she looks very handsome brandy knows how to rock a suit brandy knows how to rock it Brandy does rock it indeed. She's super talented. I feel like I've had a different, as like Canadian, very atheist family, like I've had a different experience than growing up in a smaller town in America. It must have more weight for you. But I feel lucky that I like Jesus. And I was taught about religion, like that they were all different sides of the same coin with really nice stories. stories and i got really into jesus as a guy but so it doesn't have that i don't feel triggered like because it hasn't been used against me directly or i haven't had to like debate it with people like i've just sort of avoided all that do you guys have more weight well because do you guys does canada have the like born again well the heart like the religious yes for sure that we have yeah but not to the same degree i think yeah like our yeah i think yeah less so there's definitely the religious sex of it yes yeah you know what i was gonna say um it this is so such a minor little moment in her question but i it's something that i hadn't put my finger on until this moment hearing her say it when she said the times that we're living through feels very different than the times we're living in oh you're right yeah and i and i just wonder if that was a conscious choice because i hear people say these times we're living through and it's just i was like wow that's so like i hear i hear people say that and yet feels very because times that you're living in feels more positive and um oh that's what i i almost felt the opposite like living through is like we're gonna get out of this that's what i kind of would assume too yeah whereas living in this isn't permanent we're in it interesting yeah because yeah yeah i changed my mind just then when you suggested that right if you go through something yeah you're gonna be the other side of it yeah but i know what you mean that it sounds almost like endure yeah these times were enduring yeah yeah yeah anyway I know that wasn't the main point of it but it was still an interesting like oh yeah got me thinking I was raised Catholic but I was not raised in a house where God and Jesus were really mentioned uh we went to to college didn't do that either um went to church until like through elementary school yeah and then it was kind of like the jig is up nobody my brother and I were like we're not into this and yeah there wasn't like a bible in our house I don't think and I never saw one I think depending on how you learn about him like he Jesus as a figure is so rebellious he was so critical of religious leaders who were hypocritical like he like everything about him is great supportive women like you know friends with sex workers and stuff like he was such a badass so I'm I'm lucky I was taught about him as a figure in the same way I you'd learn like stories about Siddhartha or something. You were learned about him as a chill guy. Yeah. A lot of people take it, you know, to that more, you know, Helen Brimstone type of situation with like punishment of not living on the righteous path. Yeah, that feels like a more recent shift. Yeah, that I'm learning about or meeting people or realizing I know people that have now flipped over into that world where it doesn't feel like a part of my upbringing. It's just like the irony of Jesus being used as this means of discrimination and control. But religion has been used to start wars forever. I know. Because, yeah, it is a form of control. Yeah. I mean, I think it depends on people's relationship with the church or Jesus as to how they feel about. Their interpretation. Yeah. So, like, you know, if you were to meet someone who came from, like, say, like a Mormon background or whatever, like, and they're, say they're gay, like, you know, they're not welcomed in that church anymore. and they, you know, could potentially, and I'm just using that as a broad example, but, you know, not accepted by family members anymore, then your relationship to Jesus might be a negative one because then suddenly you feel like you're not accepted anymore. I mean, being from the South, like in the small town that I grew up in, you know, there's a church everywhere. It's such a part of the culture, such a part of like the social aspect of the South. Like you like go to church functions, people at church check on you. Like there's really great things about it where it's like a fabric of society there where it's I can see like community. Yeah. Many positive things like that. My mom still is very much involved in the United Methodist Church. So in that regard, I am always I'm like, I will even say to my mom, are you going to church? like because it's such a positive thing for her um and i'll go with her you know a couple times a year but i as i got older my i mean as someone who grew up going to church every sunday as i got older i decided that wasn't for me anymore yeah um but i've kept my relationship uh to be um still open to the concepts of Jesus and God and and I I have not like shunned that I still see value in that and like a belief system and a morality type of way I think I I treat it in the the like treat others as you want to be treated the basics of yeah of it the like you know try to be a good person those things it seems so universal that we try to answer these questions and are reaching for something and then we've yeah these are meant to be like moral signposts that help us navigate things instead of like literal doc you know yeah and doctrine and definitely yeah not like organized to benefit i mean in given in light of everything i'm i'm really feeling like well that's not even but i feel insane these days well when it's used as a weapon to be like you're okay and you're not. That's where it becomes an issue because then it being used as like well we have decided we okay but you not Well who decided that why like right you know i just am like where do we go from here when we always kind of known like the people who are most outspokenly anti-gay and fire and brimstone you read the headlines then they're arrested six months later for sex crimes right like that does not everyone but that does happen it happens a lot yeah and then now it's like like i just watched this amazing movie about sex work and stuff and i was thinking after like we've been the the for centuries it's like this is perversion and things and then now we're seeing like the true perversion at the top like the the i mean it's like too much to fathom so it's like now that we the hypocrisy is like laid out where do we go from here what's going to happen is anything going to happen is anyone going to get arrested are you talking about the epstein files yeah it's all i think about it's all i talk about i'm like we can't even because it's just too fucking insane yeah we have to save that for our epstein file episode i remember when when i was um living in austin I mean, it was so long ago, like 35 years ago, like so long ago. You were barely alive. It's insane. But my friend and I live next door to this very Christian family. And they worked at the church. They had three kids. And we became really close with them. and they were I would say the first I was I was in my early 20s but they were aside from my family members that are religious and and different people here there yeah these were Christians that led with Christianity yeah like like I leave this is actual teachings of like yeah and they talk about it and they it wasn't just like something they did quietly okay um but I loved them yeah so much and they knew that we were gay and um and their kids would come over like two years old to like seven years old and just like knock on our door and want to come hang out in our kitchen while we were home just relaxing and whatever and I just I never got any weird vibe from them other not even other than I just never got any weird vibe and I was I was just I just loved them and I loved what they represented and I was good with them talking about Jesus because there was just nothing seemingly off and then no there's no okay okay I was just thinking I also my first girlfriend's parents maybe I don't know if I've shared this with you, but I'm very close with them. Oh, yeah, yeah. And you went to see the Pope and then... Yeah, and I brought a rosary home for them. And they're like parents to me in a way. And they're Catholic and they very much lead with that. But unbelievable examples of loving, open. They have different views. but I mean Stephanie and I they live in small town Ohio Farmville and we will go in the summertime and I'll bring my wife and children out and stay with them in their house and their little little home I love them so so yeah that's right yeah I mean that yeah I'm I'm definitely not and they saying all Christian people are but I'm just talking about no I didn't take it that way at I'm just saying like those in your experience, in my experience, the people that like really are leading with it and talking about it. And it's not like all the time talking about it, but it's it's it's kind of like me being vegan. It's like, yeah, you're going to know I'm vegan. Right. But I just really appreciate their relationship with God or Jesus and their church. and they're actually out in the world doing good. That's great. And really hands-on in the community. They're not a monolith. Yeah, like religious people. It's just, yeah. I think when I hear Jesus, my point is like I'm open. Yeah. Who's behind that? Yeah, I'm a big Jesus fan. Yeah. I'm not triggered by that at all. I think it also boils down to how you treat each other as far as like, I know so many religious people and I have great respect for, you know, people that I've met where religion is their entire life. If they're accepting of me and they're kind to me, I give them that same respect in return of like, great. You know, it's amazing that you have these beliefs and you're this, that's a big part of your life. Doesn't bother me at all. it's when someone is when someone's like you're going to hell and i'm like based on what it's a weird barrier to intimacy even if they're like hey i love you you know i have deep empathy for you hope god saves your soul but i you know i believe you're going to hell but like i then that's hard how do you where do you it's like that's where they need to keep that to themselves yeah it's like if you think i'm going to hell just pipe down and let's have a nice dinner yeah i mean like we were talking about the um the about magic and intention and stuff and i i definitely think prayer could be powerful and i'm like yeah i'm loving it like meg stolter is is christian and is being outspoken i think she organized a prayer group of people to like i'm into that kind of thing where yeah where it's actually living jesus's teachings yeah and i mean when i go into You know, I poke fun with my mom when I go to church, like, on Christmas Eve with her. I'm like, oh, I hope I'm, you know, allowed in here or whatever. I've always been welcomed in this particular church. And, you know, there's something really beautiful about some of these old churches when I'm in Europe. Of course. I love walking into these churches. You can feel this, you know, energy. It's very hopeful. I think that's what I look towards religion. the positive part of the religion and believing in God or Jesus or whoever is feeling hopeful. I'm talking to someone, whatever your beliefs, the universe, God of asking for help or looking over people. When people are like, I'm praying for your mom, that means something to me. It's crazy. Oh, sorry. No. The way she's said it, like, in these times we're living through, it's like, America specifically, it seems like, it's just been manipulated for nefarious purposes. So you do have, like, quite, like, we're lucky we don't encounter the hate every day in our lives and stuff. But it is, like, increasingly super powerful religious right. Yeah, it's out there. It's really scary. I definitely don't like when it gets intermingled with, like, government, you know. Yeah. I do very much firmly believe in the separation of church and state. Yeah, totally. I don't like when those two co-mingle. Yeah, I was going to say when I go to Mississippi and my family, they're all churchgoers. But their vibe is, you know, like Stephanie and I got married in Mississippi in the small town at my cousin's house. And their whole vibe down there is like, all right, we're going to get up. We're going to go to church. And then after that, let's go out to the yacht club. And it's just like, get up, go run five miles, go to church, do this and that. And then, you know, ask God for a beautiful day. And that's kind of just the vibe I feel like that I grew up in. That's nice. that doesn't feel and even my other cousin he was a part of the catholic church and he married he officiated our wedding and he got kicked out of the church knowing he likely would but he said it was worth it because he said that they got it wrong yeah you know um so anyway well i'd be i'd be curious to hear brandy's answer i know she has a background with church she's talked about it in her book. And then let's hear it. I'm curious because when I wrote my book, I wrote a lot about being raised, you know, within the faith and religious and coming up in church and all of the problems that I had being out of the closet and, you know, issues with hell trauma and acceptance. And, and then I also wrote about the parts of the faith that really still work for me and about the way I personally feel about Jesus. And I was totally overwhelmed by the amount of LGBTQ people that came to me and said they want to talk about this more. And that there are still parts of this, of the Christian faith and their childhood religion that are with them, whether they like it or not, in good ways and in horrible ways. And I think it's a really interesting conversation to have, especially at this point in life where, you know, we're safe and we aren't subject to the church anymore in the way that maybe we were when we were young, but that there are parts of the teachings of Jesus that I think still live in so many queer people in such a complicated way that I'm fascinated by the conversation. And thank you for your answers. thank you I think it just comes down to wanting to be accepted right I mean just wanting to feel like you're welcome and safe and wanting to be safe because that's the thing with all those abortion bans and stuff it's like are we safe? I don't know so I don't know we gotta be vigilant about that because like you were saying the separation of church and state is so crucial the line is getting more and more blurred for sure I feel like I want to sit and have a glass of wine. I'm very curious. Yeah, I'm curious how Brandy and her wife, you know, they have their little family unit. Yeah. And they've got their kids. Yeah. And what part does religion play within the dynamic of their family? Yeah. Well. I guess we'll never know. We'll never know. We'll never know. You know, Jesus had siblings. I didn't know that but imagine well that's for another half siblings step siblings in the meantime oh what a podcast what a what a podcast we went from gosh darn podcast yes foot massages we got massages May that's right May subjected you to this separated their cheeks yeah we're all on tour go see us on tour yeah go see us on tour please tignotaro.com I leave in two days I guess yes go check out May on this bus tour You need to pack. Yeah, I got to pack. I'll see you in San Diego soon. Also, if you haven't seen Come See Me in the Good Light, you should watch it. Apple TV. If you don't have Apple, you can get a free subscription. Sign up for a month. Watch the movie and then do whatever you want to do after that. Also, Starfleet Academy with Holly Hunter and Paul Giamatti. And May 4th, we will be at the Wiltern, the three of us live here in Los Angeles with our guests, Brittany Snow and Malin Ackerman. And really, get your tickets now. It's going to be a good one. Also, I will be performing as part of the Stand Up for Equality show March 4th in Los Angeles with Mateo Lane, Margaret Cho. It's going to be a really, really fun show. All right. Well, until next time, keep it handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feimster, Tig Notaro, and Mae Martin. The show is produced, recorded, and edited by Thomas Woollett. Email us at handsomepod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at handsomepod. What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a hate gum podcast. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking who serves the best latte in town when I'm traveling, I still regret it. Nothing is more disappointing than a poorly made latte. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, conditions, and availability. Allstate, North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. Hey, I'm Gareth Reynolds, and I have a new podcast on HeadGum called Next We Have. Now, this show is for people with short attention spans, which is everyone. I mean, you're probably trying to skip this ad right now, but don't, because you now legally have to listen to the show. That's how law works. Next We Have is very simple. Each episode has three short segments. For instance, Lisa Gilroy and I write insane revenge Yelp reviews for callers who had bad experiences with a business. The Doughboys play a game called Meal or No Meal. and Steph Tolov and I go head-to-head on a thought-provoking game called Guess That Sound. The show is as dumb as it sounds, and we probably have more fun than we should. But it's a great time, and you should listen or watch new episodes of Next We Have every Thursday on YouTube or your favorite podcast app.