ENCORE Being in our 30s & Growing Up with an Absent Father

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And I'm like, it's like a New York style pizza. And he's like, I've had New York pizza. And I'm like, no, dude, I'm telling you. And he's right though. Not a lot of people get in New York pizza right. Right. But I don't know, dude. So Moots has got it. And then yesterday when we were eating, he was like, OK. Yeah, dude. He looked at me, he's like 10 out of 10. 10 out of 10. I'm like, dude, I told you Moots is good as hell. So good. That's the thing. Like downtown Detroit has so many good restaurants and like things to do. I love coming down here. I'm like, I just think Detroit gets a bad rap. It's like, A. Yeah. Come on, man. I just got nowhere to go. We're not to go. That's like with any big city. It's cool. That's any big city. But no, I mean, we love coming downtown. But I'll tell you what, we. Dude. Are old. Why? OK, guys, I don't know if it's just like what's going on as you get older. Where I'm like, is it your 30s or? You know, the rare times that we ever get to go out. Why? Why? Why is drinking? I feel like a chore. Yeah. Why does it feel like I'm down and out for days? Why do I feel like I wake up in the morning every time I regret it? Yeah. Well, I regret the time had. I just regret why? Why did I have to take that many? Why have to drink that many drinks? What the fuck is going on? Well, and the fact, too, of like being maybe and maybe it's because we like did things when we were younger and like so now we're older. We're just like, eh, we don't really care to do it. I don't know. Guys, I don't know if it's why don't when someone's like, hey, it's because we had an original plan to come down here and you know, hang out with like certain people, whatever. And then like, I don't like when plans get altered. Right. We had a plan. How many people for this is what we're doing going here. And then after that, we're going after that. Right. Like I'm not a good I need to know. Got a plan. And then they're like, well, maybe we'll add more people. And then maybe we'll go to a second place. I mean, no, no, no, no, no, we said four people, one place. Yeah. Eating. And then going to another place. And that's it. For people. Yeah. That's it. So when people are going, oh, we're going to like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, and then immediately I'm like, cancel, cancel, cancel. I don't want to do it no more. I want to go home. I'm going to get my role, whatever. And I just want to, I don't want to do it now. Now I want to just come home and be, yeah, I don't want to do it. Yeah. And well, and it's funny because like when my friend, my friend texted me and she was like, oh, well, what if so-and-so come to you? And I was like, I guess like I don't care. You know, I was like, but I just hate people. Like, you know, and she was like, you and me both. And I'm like, we're both bitches, bro. Like what? We're bitches. But it's funny how it's like, I'm all excited. Yeah, cool, cool, cool, the plan, the plan, the plan starts shifting. I'm like, cancel, cancel it all. Done, done, done. Like, whoa, Tyra, I'm like, you're going to chill out. Now I'm just going to sit in the hotel room and watch movies. I'm going to sit in the hotel room, order food here, not get dressed, not do shit, watch Netflix and watch stuff. Because now I'm feeling overwhelmed and I'm like, I don't want to do this. It's weird though. It's like, my head on my tie though, dude, chill out. Things change. Yeah, they do. Plans are allowed to evolve. But for some reason, it's sort of circling my brain. I know you. Tyler was all stressed out because my friend Brittany was like, well, maybe we'll go like Detroit's got this cigar bar and they have like really good drinks and stuff. And Tyra's like, well, now I have to bring something nice because if we end up at a cigar bar, like, you know, that's more of like kind of like dressier, you know? And so like, and I didn't pack anything really dressy. It was like cute, but casual, whatever. And so I was like, we ain't going to the cigar bar. I was like, well, definitely hit up the barcade because that's fun. Like you get to play these games. Yeah, and it's like. Dress code there. No, you can be casual and stuff too and have a good time. But that's what starts circling my cigar bar. So then he was stressing out and he's like, I'm putting my whole outfit. He's like, and I'm just going to look 10 out of 10. So that way, no matter where we go, I'm straight, straight. I can't do, dude, I can't handle. Um, it's like changing the plan. I don't know. Just are not knowing for sure what we're doing. Yeah. Especially when they're like, Oh, we'll figure it out afterwards. No, no, no, no, you can't figure it out afterwards. We're going to eat. And then where are we going? I'll figure out. No, no, no, we will not figure it out. We need to figure out now. Right. Before we get there, we need to figure out now. Then I have a head. I'm like, why am I, why am I, why do I need this? It's like, I can't handle the, uh, I don't want the spot in 80 or like the unknowing. Yeah. I don't, I don't want it. I want the plan to stick to the plan. Yeah. But sometimes it feels good to like fly off the seat of your pants. No, never feels good for me. No, it doesn't. I mean, I can vibe and do it. See, I'm such a flow where I'm like, this is fucked. I'm such a fuck. And then you know, it's crazy. Is that once it happens and then something happens where it's like, see, this is why this is why this is why I didn't want to do it because now look at it. Now, now we're in this weird position. You're sitting out here in the cold. We have nowhere to go. You didn't plan it out. We switched the plans. Now we're freezing. Try to remember Google things. What the fuck? Yeah. Last night was cold too. I was like, I'm not, no. And there was a lot of things going on in the city yesterday. They had a whole concert, Pistons game. The auto show is going on. And it was funny because when we left the hotel to like go get dinner, there's just these girls walking around everywhere, like no coats on. It's 11 degrees. When is colder? Yeah, when is flying? They have a lot of them didn't have coats on. They were wearing like the lace, like, you know, like stockings and shit. Because I mean, it's holes, you know, so it was just like, I was like, these girls are fucking crazy. It's like the sacrifices that they're making to look like that. Yeah, fucking nuts. It's actually with no co. I'm like, I would at least had a co. But the craziest thing this could make us sound really old is we stayed up until like five in the morning, I think. And what the who the. Oh, today I'm so tired. I'm like, I don't want to do nothing. Why? This is what I'm saying. I wake up. I have. Oh, I'm so having a good time until the morning comes around. I'm like, what? I'm going to wake up and I'm just like this. Like I'm like a grandma. And I'm like, and I'm like, why last night? And I keep going back a time. Why? I heard that everything we did without drinking nothing and staying up till 5 a.m. is staying up till 5 a.m. What? What are we doing here? Because it was about when Brandon and Brett left our Hittite's cousin and my and our friend. It was probably about like 4 30 4 4 30. Yeah. And then it took me forever to fall asleep and I was freezing. Oh, so cold. But I'm like, I haven't stayed up. Why? It's a five in the morning and. God damn, last time I was probably. I don't even know. 1617. Probably not 16 or like 20s. I mean, give me a break. Till five in the morning. I know five in the morning. It feels like decades. It feels like decades ago. Whose idea was this? But it's funny. I'm like, so is this can other people relate? Like, is this just like you get into your 30s, like mid 30s? And you're just like, you're old now. Now every time anyone's like, oh, even thinking about staying up past one is just like, that sounds stupid. Right. It's like way past my bedtime. Yeah. One is set up past. We were waiting for the Uber last night to pick us up to take us to dinner. And it was funny because it was freezing outside. I'm like, you guys are fucking nuts. Like I'm going to stand on lobby. I'm standing in the lobby. It's like 745. I'm yawning already. Yeah. And there's an like an older gentleman and his wife and he looks at me. He's like, don't be doing that already. He's like, you're young, you know, like, and you're you're yawning already. And I said, sir, I was like, sir, I have three kids at home. And it is way past my bedtime. They're feral. And once I said that, he was like, oh, I understand. I was like, yeah, I'm tired. It's it's already past my bedtime. And it's only through. Yeah. That's only eight o'clock. We're going to do this. We're going to do this. It was fun, though, because I mean, but God damn it. Yeah. Morning. I know. Yeah. No. God, it's so unnecessary. Well, and it's nice because like, you know, Tyler and I, we have, you know, we have a very like it's a very small group of friends and it's friends that we have known, you know, since childhood, middle school and like my cousin. So I mean, you know what I mean? And and it's nice to every once in a while get together with them because, you know, we do live like an hour and a half from them all because we live in the middle of nowhere and they live like in the cities. So it was nice just to catch up with everybody and get to see everybody and just kind of not have to have any cares for a while. You know, absolutely. Yeah. Woohoo. Yeah. I'm like, you feel accomplished, but what is the cost of accomplishment? I wasn't puking. So it was a win. Five in the morning. I never, I want to do seven. No, not five in the morning. Yeah. No, I'm like, never again. And then I wake up today and I'm like, I'm tired and we ate lunch and I was like, now I'm even more tired. We're going to go see a movie tonight. And I'm like, hopefully I don't fall asleep. You better not fall asleep. Well, your cousin Brandon said he was like, it's super good. He's like, it's intense. And I was like, great. I'm like the other avatar made me sob like a baby in the movie theater. And you have you and your niece laughing at me. So hopefully this one isn't crazy. I mean, I don't know. I heard it was kind of intense. So really? Yeah. Damn. See what happens. You know, I don't fucking know. All I know is I feel really old and lame because we are old. Cause I'm tired. We are lame. Yeah. This is what happens when you get old, you become lame. That's what happens. Are we accept, are we going to accept that we're lame? I think we're just so accepted. Let's accept it. Oh, that we're just lame. Yeah, I'm done. I'm done. I'm like, I said, I'm done trying to like, hey, five in the morning. That sounds stupid. Changing plans. Dumb. Not changing plans. Dumb. Yeah. I know it's like, can we say like, you know, you go out and have a good time when you're back in your bed by like 10. That's great. Love it. You know, that's amazing. Yeah. I know. That sounds like a great time. But how can they hang? They drink more. I don't know, whatever. They, they don't have as many kids as us either. At the ages that we have. Yeah. They're kind of like, yeah. Yeah. And we, I don't know. And maybe it's because I have them on such as we have them on such like a schedule that we're just so used to the schedule. You know, I don't know, but I like, I like being in my bed by like 9pm, watching my trash TV. The last wedding we went to. Listen, the moment. The moment. Yeah. Eating. After the dance. They're a little dandy daughter dances and stuff. Yeah. It just sinks in my brain. And we Irish goodbye. I'm out. I don't, I am done. Yep. I gave you my card, you know, with your little, you know, the little money and you know what I mean? Yeah. After all the special dances and stuff, it's like, I'm out. That's how you know it. That's how you know we're just. God, we, we are, we are Irish goodbye. It's, it's horrible. It's horrible. Is it? Yeah. Why? In my opinion, every single student deserves an education that helps them thrive and reach their full potential. That's where K-12 powered schools comes in. These are tuition free, accredited, online public schools where students learn from caring teachers who are trained in online education. K-12 offers a safe and flexible at home learning environment for students in kindergarten all the way through 12th grade with options for every single student, whether they need more challenge or support, students learn at their own pace with curriculum tailored to meet their unique goals, needs and interests. 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So for many years, I had a donor advised fund at one of the big financial supermarkets and I generally donate to three or four regular charities. And the reason why I moved from that big financial supermarket to GoFundMe was because the GoFundMe fees were zero. So I used to pay a fee every year at the financial supermarket. I don't pay a fee at GoFundMe. And I like where they invest my money while it's waiting to be put to work. Already have a DAF transfer it over. We'll cover the DAF pay fees. Start your giving fund today at GoFundMe.com slash giving. That's GoFundMe.com slash giving. This message reflects one person's experience. I don't know because isn't it like you think it's rude? Yeah. Yeah. Isn't it respectful to be like, all right, guys, bye. Thank you so much for inviting us. I don't know. I don't think so. No, no. Just all of a sudden everybody's like, we're getting tiger. Well, if you use common sense, I'm going. They probably know by now. I mean, I'm not. You're lucky to even get a C door closes. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm out. And it's funny because once it hits me, I can't. I can knock the fall out of my head. I can't like, you know, somebody's like, oh, I'm kind of tired. All right, you know what? Fuck up. Give me another shot or you try to like pep yourself through it. No, no. Once it's in my brain, I'm like, I'm looking for any opportunity to exit. And it's so funny because we're planning it out, avoiding people that want to talk a long time. Oh, yeah. You know, I'm coming. Happen. I'm turning. I'm avoiding. Well, there and you know what I mean? Or see someone go like, no. And I'm out. I'm planning the exit. And it's so funny because I mean you like we drink what once a year, maybe twice a year, like it's not. I might. Tire bed. Snooze. Fuck. Snooze fast. Please. I think you're right. We need to sit so much when you're younger. We weren't allowed to. That's what I mean. So then you get older and like, this is cool. First off, it's like. I see some on Facebook. It was like, you're, you know, you're only in your 30s. Like, why don't you go out or, you know, go out and do anything anymore? And it was like a shame. The kids from shameless. And it's like, because I was studying doing it at 14 years old. I'm over it. You know, no, it's not like. We. God, we're bad kids. I know. We were talking about last night. Yeah. We were. I know. They were good times though. Like times that I wish I could go and relive every day. Yeah. We were wild and feral and free. But it was so fun. Yeah. And like, it's weird because these, like these newer generations, they don't do those things. They don't like, Hey mom, I'm going to Samantha's, even though you're really going to a field like we would an oil rig field, by the way, and just party with hundreds of people. I know, right? Like all different, you know, it was like high schoolers, middle schoolers, like all together. I had to do with the fact that we didn't have like the phones we have. Like it was kind of like, I mean, you can technology was like a pain. It was very. Yeah, it was a T. It was a very quick tech. There's you're not writing novels. No, you're not expressing your love on the tech message. You're like, you know, call me later, whatever it is, right? Call me past seven when it's free minutes. You know, true. Like, so it's like, we were just like, it wasn't. Yeah. Nowadays they're just, and even the parties that they, they have. And what are they like? This is a party. It's weird. What do they do? They, they sit there on their phones and they're like, and then randomly one less music. Yeah. Ooh. And then they go back to this. Dude. House. A musical. Again. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. House parties in the 2000s, you had to be there to even relate. Like they were top tier. We would go on a band and houses and have DJs. Dude, yes. Fuck it. I'll never get that one time in Amanda's house. We are all in the basement. You know where the, the mod house that wasn't built yet wasn't finished being built. We found that mod. Remember the basement was like Cinderblock. You don't remember this? And it was like a house that they were like, was I there? Yeah. Yeah. You had maybe you weren't there. I don't, I think maybe you weren't there. I don't know. But there was a, there was like a double wide mod modular house being built. And they just like stopped building it. So there was windows, there was doors, there was bathrooms. Like it was like, but it was just like, it was like subfloor in not finished anything. Like they had imagine if you guys got busted and we literally do. It was awesome. And they put a DJ in the basement and it's weird. Cinderblock poles and Cinderblock unfinished basement. No, cause I just remember being at like Amanda's house. No man. Yeah. Danielle's house. Oh yeah. Danielle's house always had the craziest parties. And you think about like some and like the ones, Haley's a couple of times, but you think about like some of these house parties that we went to at people's houses. Where the fuck were their parents? I don't know. No one asked questions. And I'll never forget the one time it was at Amanda's Amanda's house and we were all in the basement like party. I mean, dude, it was like a scene out of a movie. I feel like a rager. Yeah. We were banging on the vents. Oh, it was so fun. And then I remember all of us coming upstairs and everything in her house was flipped upside down. Remember somebody like, yes. And I remember all was like, what the fuck? The whole house, the chairs, the tables, the couches, the chair. I mean, down to the littlest detail. Like upside down. The pictures on the wall are upside down. Yes. It was funny. I just remember that. And then I remember getting this feeling like we need to leave. Sure shit. Me and Ty left. Like what? 20 minutes later, the cops showed up. It was crazy. But like we were out of there. We were these people's parents like Daniel's house, dude. There was like, well, what happened was her mom ended up dying and the dad ended up moving and it was like, we just let the kids know. Because he had the older sister, the older sister that was there and then he just kind of like would stop in once a week and give him money. It was weird. It was weird. It was weird. It was different. It was like, it was. Yeah. So see, we did all that shit. Now it's just like, I'm too, I'm too old for now. I'm just, I wish I was cooler. I mean, yeah, if you consider it cool. I'm not, I can't set the five anymore and no more. No, even like two. I know it sounds sucky. Whatever. It is what it is, you know, I'm not positive for it. Did it too much back in the day. That's just, that's all that it is. Um, people did send me some anonymous like secrets, but I wanted, I want to save that for the end. I mean, I don't know though. I have a few of them and I feel like we could lead into different conversations. Um, these episodes, I know, but then I also wanted to, I also, I wanted to kind of talk to you about like, he's made it's kind of intense, but like, what do you mean? I have just like, I don't know, questions about your dad. Okay. Okay, go. What are we doing? What? Well, what? I don't know. It's like, uh, like I was just thinking the other day, I'm like, I wonder what, because your dad wasn't really involved in your life. So what is your like first memory that you can remember of your dad? Uh, first like core memory. Yeah. Or just the first memory you have of your dad and how old do you think you were? I want to say, I think I was like six. Yeah. I want to say I was like six that I remember. I have a really weird, like really quick memory of him stopping at our trailer and get out of his truck. And then he like rubbed my head. I was, I was, I must have been really little because it's very fast. It's like, hey, it was so good. He rubbed my head. But then, but then that was it. And then I remember, yeah, probably when I was like six, I think it was the first when he got out and he picked me up. Really? Yeah. Me and Amber, he picked me up and then we went to his girlfriend's house. But it was like, I remember thinking about how like you've been out for a minute. You already got a girl. I don't know, it was weird. Like going to your girlfriend's house. It was just fucking weird. I was like, what's, what the fuck? And did you know this girl? And I remember thinking my head like, why don't you have your own house? You know what I mean? Like, I'm like, I don't know. It's just weird. And you didn't know this girl? No, I know. I know. I know. Yeah. He introduced me. Here's my girlfriend. Hey, dad. I'll nice to meet you. Nice to meet you too. Girl, girlfriend. We're nice to meet you, dad. You know what I'm saying? Like, I don't know. And I know I, I knew, I knew in my mind it wasn't the first time we ever met, but it was the first time that I like. Remember it. I remember. Yeah. Um, because do you ever remember like being young, like, I don't know, like being younger and asking your mom questions about your dad? Yeah. She just would say he had a problem. Okay. He's a problem. Okay. Got it. Cause your sister obviously has more younger memories with your dad than you do. Oh yeah. Lots more. Yeah. Than me. Because the time I was born, he was already diving deep into his addiction. When she was born, he wasn't an addict yet. My mom was like, you know, it was normal. He just probably like started getting into it. They're party a little bit. Yeah. She wasn't like, but he was, she was said that he wasn't like into any of that. So by the time I came along, I should never been born pretty much. Yeah. Definitely not. So when I came along, it was like, he was already well in the shit. Well, in the crazy part too, like your mom, I think wanted to have an abortion. And she was like, fuck. Well, like your mom says, like they were broken up. Oh yeah. They were. Yes. And then his, his brother died. Right. And then so after the funeral, he like knocked on your mom's door and she like felt bad for him. I love him so much. Uh, and felt bad, obviously because his brother died. I'm like, what a weird pity. Fuck, that's all to say. Pity sex. Yeah. There I am. Fuck. Yeah. And then your mom had what she had a couple appointments. I think, yeah. And she's, yeah. So something in her, something in her, something in her, but she, but she remember her saying that like at that point, I was already experiencing with Amber. What was going on? Amber was four, three, three years old by that point. So she said, I knew it was only going to get worse because he started out being a really good dad by the time Amber was three, it was not, you know what I mean? So she was like, fuck. Not another one with him. We're not even dating. I don't even want to be with them. You know, she's struggling to raise her one. She was that she's by herself with Amber. So she was like, I mean, yeah, and something about, uh, she didn't get the abortion. So was your dad, um, was he, was he there when you were born? No, he wasn't late. Like he was like, I'm already had me and yeah. So he wasn't in jail or anything, but he just wasn't there. But he's one. Yeah. He wasn't in jail, but he wasn't at the hospital when I was, how the fuck do you miss that? I don't know. I have no idea. He was there when Amber was born. Yeah. I've seen pictures. Yeah. Normal back then. So, you know, halfway normal. Yeah. By the time I came along, it was like, it was, he was just heavy in the addiction by that point. Like wasn't supposed to be here. Yeah. This is like, you know what I mean? It weren't together. Right. So I mean, yeah, but I do. So they were never together even for a little bit of a period of time after we were born after I was born. They tried, you know what I mean? Uh huh. Um, but yeah, he was gone. I think before I was even a couple months old because of my mom started dating her boyfriend, Rick, who I remember from the age of whenever I could even remember. That was the only really, really like, really loved him. Yeah. Really. And I knew he wasn't my real dad, but I just didn't. He did dad things with you. Honestly. Yeah. Like he was there. I'm not gonna remember. So he came in the picture and I was like seven months old. Oh, wow. And my mom said that when her, my dad tried after I was born, it wasn't really a try. It was more or less like, what are we doing? So six, so it took a couple months to figure out like, okay, we're not together. This isn't, you know what I mean? Like it. Okay. 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Get ready to explore and play at adventure packed attractions from MagiQuest, a live action game that takes place throughout the lodge to the Northern Lights Arcade. There's also a bunch of great dining options and complimentary daily events like nightly dance parties all under one roof. And the best part? With 22 lodges across the country, you're always only a short drive away from adventure. So bring your pack together at a lodge near you. Book your stay today at GreatWolf.com and strengthen the pack. So she said that she wasn't, it wasn't really like they were dating. It was like, what are we doing with this parenting? Yeah. We have another one. And then Rick came along and yeah, that's all I remember is from that until the age of what five. So she was with him for a long time. Long time. I mean, he like loved me. He had one daughter. And so, um, yeah, he, you know, he always wanted a son. I mean, I, yeah, my mom said that he just really took me right under his wing and everything. So as a kid, he was really goofy. Like, throw me like, you know what I mean? Right. Like play with you and stuff. So I guess at that point it was like, I knew he wasn't my real dad, but I guess what, but my, my real dad was so like a far distance from my memory from, you know, I was like, I don't really care. But can you remember like being that young and like really like wondering about your dad? Oh yeah. Or like fantasizing about him. Fanatizing for sure. Yeah. Cause then we get pictures. I still got pictures. You know, he was like, right letters to Amber. He'd write letters from prison and you know, he's looking all huge. And I'm like, well, that's my dad. He's looking, you know, damn, which is big and strong. But I never felt like, uh, I never felt as big as a year for him that Amber did. Okay. I felt like, yeah, that's my dad. And then I'd be like, Rick, you know what I mean? Cause Rick was just there. And that's what you remembered. That's what I remember from all. We, you must have been devastated when your mom and him broke up. I didn't understand what was going on. Yeah. I had no fucking clue. Yeah. Really abusive. Yeah. Yep. He got really abusive and then yeah, that was that was the end of that. And I was like, I can't do this anymore. Which rightfully so my little kid had, I'm like, what the fuck? Where's that? Yeah. Right. What the hell? Cause you didn't know, you didn't know until you were older about being this girl. She broke up. She didn't break it up with Rick. And then, um, and then my dad ended up getting out of prison pretty recently after that because I remember, I remember him getting out when I was like six. And this was like, probably, yeah. And then she, her and Rick were done by I was by age of five. So as a baby up until five, I'm thinking Rick is like, I was like, I didn't even care that they were married. I'm like, this is, this is my life. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then yeah, my dad got out pretty recently after that. So he was in prison from like what you can remember up until like up until like five or six go to prison. I want to say I went to prison by 10, I was two. Okay. And so, but I don't remember any of that. My mom said he would come. He would visit like, you know, you're too little at that point. Yeah. I don't remember any of that. So I didn't have any like attachment to him. And so then when you were six and he got out, how long, do you remember how long he was out for? Holy shit. Six years old. Cause was it not very long? No, it was a long at all. Yeah. I want to say maybe, yeah, four years. Okay. Four or five, maybe, maybe she worked around four, five, six. Yeah. Seven, eight. He got out again when I was eight. Okay. So I think he went to prison the first time for like two years. The second time he went to prison when I was eight, he was in for four years. Eight, nine, 11, 12. Yeah. Right. 12. Yeah. So. And then obviously he went back again because I, when we were dating, he went back. So think about it. So we got out, he got out or he went back to prison when I was like eight. And then eight, nine to 11, 12. Yeah. And then 12. I met you. Mm hmm. You know what I mean? Yeah. Around 13. And then yeah, he got out like a year after meeting you. Yeah. Yeah. And I'll never forget that. Mm hmm. It was like, God, I think it was the first or second time I was ever at your house. I was at my house and I was like, this is so. And you're like, my dad's got out. He's coming here and I've never been so, I walked out of living room and I'm like, Oh, I was so scared. Well, cause I was like, Hey, by the way. Yeah. I was so scared. So scared. And I walk out into living room and he looks at me, butch does. He looks at me and he goes, who's this broad? And I'm like, Oh my God, you're scary. I was like, dad, don't call her a broad. Jesus Christ. Right. And he do get his leather vest on. And then, cause I mean, even just like me and you being together, he was like in and out of prison all the time. I think obviously this is the longest time that he's been out of jail. Right in your whole life. Whole life. Yeah. And it's, and it's a, I've seen him more than that weird. Yeah. He's not the longest this time. He's out. He's been out the longest, actually off parole. Never thought a day in my life, but I'd be off parole. Off parole, not in prison for the longest time ever in my life. And I saw more, you know what I mean? When he was in and out, isn't that weird? But like, I mean, I guess just like, I'm wondering from like a boy's perspective, you know, how do you think that shapes you as like an individual and as like a man, like not having a dad around? We just learn on your own. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, but even just like the emotional effects, like, you know what I mean? Like for a boy. But I think, okay, I'm going to go back to what you said about fairness. Because what happened was when you fantasize, then you have to burn your own dream down. That makes sense. That's sad for a little. With reality. Right. So I'm a little kid. He's big, muscular. He look like he's funny. Oh, like, you know, as a boy, oh, this is, he's awesome. My dad's gonna kick your ass. You know what I mean? Right. That kind of like whatever. And then you, that, that, that fantasies slowly gets chipped. And so you have to make it. And that was his doing. Nobody else's. It was. But I'm being younger. I'm being like, oh, it's kind of not. What I pictured or imagined. Yeah. He's strong, but he's weak. Like, you know what I mean? All these things. And so you have to like, allow the fantasy to burn. And so I think that's when I was like, all right, fuck this guy. You know, it gets you went through a stage of being angry. Yeah. Well, when I met you on the, because when he went back to prison when I was eight and I watched him get tackled, I was like, this is crazy. And my mom was, you know, should they pick me up? And she was, I was fucking traumatized. And she's probably pissed the fuck off. I was fucking hitting the cop. Fucking. I remember being like, I remember driving home being like, and just screaming at my mom, like, fuck these cops. Fuck these people. And you don't understand either. I just got him back. I had him. I don't even know he was out for God damn it. I probably not even, not even a full year. So that's sad. You know, what you just said, like I just got him back. I just got him. Eight years old. So I'm thinking about, all right, I'm eight years old. I'm like, oh, cool. So when you're eight and you're young and you're like, oh, this is my new life. I'm going to go on my dad's every weekend. Cool. So then to be, and then right when I started to get comfortable with that, kind of like seeing them, whatever, and then you're going to come tackle and take him. Yeah. Which I think is fucked up that they did that in front of his kids. Well, I mean, honey, he was, he was, I mean, they was on the runner something. Yeah, he was on the run. Okay. About bounty hunters. My very first memory as a child was bounty hunters looking for him. Yeah. You've told me that story before. I mean, I woke up in a water. That's why I fucking went about a pancake. Maybe. Because I remember being in my little toddler bed and little flashlights coming to the window. You know how like trailers have those thin like metal windows? You know, it was just yeah. Especially back then. And of course I'm like, what the fuck? How old do you think you were? Shit, dude. You're in a toddler bed. Three, four. Yeah. Four. But that's like, what's your earliest memory? Fucking bounty hunters. Yeah. And because I was just such a fucking traumatizer. Fuck, I thought we were getting robbed. I thought because were they yelling and shit outside too? But you know, like what the fuck and there's pounding on the window. It was fucking wild. And my mom was livid. Why? I bet it's because there's kids in this house. Yeah. And she was like, I have children and like, and they just bounty hunters. They don't give up. Look, rightly so, because they're trying to find. I mean, he bailed. He went out on bail. I don't know what happened. He was running. Yeah. And so I remember like our trailer had like a step up to the kitchen and I remember walking out my room and like there's flashlights coming around. They're randomly screaming. And then I remember getting to the window where I kind of stepped a little higher and the window was above the sink. And that's what I could see him like and they look scary. Because they're dressed all black. Yeah. And then flashlights. All I'm seeing is flashlights. That's the first one I saw like a figure. So he's like, what? And then I'm like, why? And I'm like, ah, and like he was in he was like in a dark. And fucking do and think about it like I do. I was actually being a toddler, literally a little kid. I'm like, we're dead. We're dead. So what? You know, I don't know. All I know is that was the scariest shit ever. Wow. Yeah. What do you think? How do you think like not having a dad in your life has shaped you into like who you are today is like a dad. Not having one. Mm hmm. Um, probably in every way possible, I would think, you know, I don't have one. So I got to figure this all out. I don't, I mean, I pretty much, I'm not doing that. Yeah. I'm going to be that guy. That's shitty. You know, I don't. Cause I mean, there's been many times like and people don't know, but like, there's been many times where I've got emotional. I've told you, like you are more of a dad than he ever could have ever been or even ever wanted to be like, you know what I mean? Like it's just like, I hope so. The bar is fucking low as hell. Well, I'm just saying, like even I feel like, no, but I just feel like for coming from like a man now that was a little boy and never had the experience of like, this is what a dad does. This is how a dad acts. This is how a dad treats his children or his wife or whatever. Like you didn't have any of those examples and you have done an amazing job of doing all those things. Well, you didn't. How did you become a mom? How do you know how to be a wife? I mean, I didn't know how to be a wife. So this is, this is, this is life. This is what we do. I know, but I'm just saying, like, I think it's very impressive. And I think you should hold on to some like pride in that where it's like, fuck yeah, like I didn't have a dad. My dad was a piece of shit, unfortunately. But like you are an amazing dad. You're an amazing husband. You always, and of course it's all girls, which is crazy, but like, isn't that fucking wild? But and I love it because it's like, you know, they are going to look for somebody, you know, to treat them like how they see you treat me and how you treat them and stuff. And like, you know, you never had, you just did completely different of your dad. And I think it's fucking amazing to see. Where's Rob logging the shit? I mean, we are. Yeah. I mean, I mean, because unfortunately there's been lots of people in my whole, in my whole family, like not just like parents or whatever, but there's been lots of people that I've looked at and I've been like, I ain't doing that. No, I don't know. I'm doing opposite than that. I don't want to do that. It looks. But when you say like about like being a wife and stuff, I guess the only people that I can think of in my life that like inspired me to be like, you know, like in a healthy relationship and a long-term relationship or was my grandma and grandpa. That's what I figured. You know, like I looked at them and I still obviously like I fucking adore them. Yeah. I don't know about you guys, but I've been doing a little spring reset with my closet lately, focusing on more quality over quantity and just building a wardrobe of pieces that are well made, versatile and easy to reach for every single day. That's one of the reasons why I keep coming back to Quinn's. You guys hear me talk about them all the time because the fabrics feel elevated. The fits are thoughtful and the pricing actually makes sense. Quinn's makes beautiful everyday pieces using premium materials like 100% European linen, organic cotton and super soft denim with style starting around $50. Their spring pieces are lightweight, breathable and effortless. The kind of things you can throw on and instantly look put together. Quinn's works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middleman. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. 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Get ready to explore and play at adventure packed attractions from MagiQuest, a live action game that takes place throughout the Lodge to the Northern Lights Arcade. There's also a bunch of great dining options and complimentary daily events like nightly dance parties all under one roof. And the best part with 22 lodges across the country, you're always only a short drive away from adventure. So bring your pack together at a lodge near you. Book your stay today at greatwolf.com and strengthen the pack. You know, they've been married 50 something years. I'm like, that's I'm never being a little kid. You saw how grand but she's a grandma. Oh, yeah. There was no. And then I've also seen my grandma too. And she get pissed off. And she I'll never forget the one time she like flicked him off behind his back. You're like, I was like, grandma. Grandma. Years later, she apologized. She's like, I never should have done that. I was like, I thought it just humanized you. Like, you know, but yeah, I would looked up to my grandparents a lot and, you know, still do in many, many ways of like, yeah, but you also come from a matriarchal line of just shit. You do. Grammarly was Grammarly. Meanie is meanie. Your mom is Norm saying. So for you to be what the you're completely. Hello. Thankfully, we've all just kind of gotten a little better. Yeah. In certain ways, you know what I mean? Over all the generations, you know, or whatever. But I'm hoping for me at least it's like I cut that shit. We cut, we stopped it. Babe. And we listen, it ends with us. But you're being a cell. I will not continue. I will not allow this to continue. I didn't want to have, you know, different parents for my kids. Like half siblings. I didn't, I didn't want any. I didn't want to just different. I wanted. Yeah. And I, and it's funny because that's why I think me and you were so committed early on in our young life because we knew what we wanted out of this life. We knew it. So I think that's why people, people laughed at us for getting therapy at 17 years old. Yeah. You know what I mean? They're like, I can't, what the fuck? You guys are, you know, you're doomed. Right. Like, okay, getting personal therapy at 17. My mom was like, what are you doing? I'm like, listen, it's just, it's almost like our souls knew before our minds. That mean you are so, I mean, I know we're going to be together. We got a lot of healing to do. Yeah. Yeah. This is going to last and work. Right. And I feel like we took the time to do that and prioritize it over like rushing to get married, rushing to get, you know what I mean? We were engaged for almost nine years. Long time. Yeah. So it's like we knew I didn't. And I was fine with that. I was fine with it. Yeah. The rings on. Right. Like you don't understand. So I feel like we, and when people laughed at us about that being so young and now I see those same people struggling in their own relationships. Like what the, so I mean, you can say what you want, but A, like I knew for a fact that we wanted different and we're going to create different. Yeah. It doesn't fall in your lap to create it. You do it yourself. So, and that's what I think, you know, and I do think that, you know, girls and boys, young girls and boys, like when they see how their parents treat one another or boyfriends or husbands, whatever, like, I feel like that's, you know, I, I guess I feel like parents, you teach your children how it is to be loved or what it looks like to be loved by somebody in a sense. Yeah. Like how to be loved by somebody. It's important that you teach that I, you don't. No one can love me the way I need to be loved unless I teach them. And that's why I'm just like, it's important. I'm, I'm blessed that our girls see us like we're goofy together. We're funny. We're cuddly, lovey. You know, we've never called each other out of our names in front of them or I mean, ever, we're period, but even in front of them, you ever seen this yell at each other? No, like, you know what I mean? Like it's just certain things around like, oh, like, you know, I really do. I have faith that my daughters will pick somebody like you ever call one of my daughters a bitch or stupid or something. They're going to be like, I ain't never seen my daddy call my mama a bitch. Like what? And leave, you know what I mean? Like they're, and they're going to see my dad always open that door. Right. There's little small for my mom and me. Yeah. I think for, and that's why I feel like for me specifically, like I knew it was really important because we do have all girls and it would be naive for me to pretend that we live in a equality society where we were men and men and women are equal. They're not equal. It's bullshit. That is bullshit. Because it's a very patriarchal. It's sick. Whatever. And so I felt, I feel a deeper sense of duty as a father for one, but a father to all girls. Yeah. That it's like, I need, you guys need to know that there are men that are not like this. Yeah. That are not like that. Yeah. Like there, there are men out there. And I think hopefully you'd be on the streets with me protesting that. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like and there's a lot of men that are that they do. And so, and so don't settle because you think you need to fall into this social hierarchy. It's a, it's a false hierarchy. It's not real. And it's a, it's a, it's a bigger pressure, I feel, because it's like, I, eventually our girls will be in relationships with people. And it's like, I, they have to know that they are deserving of all the same things. Autonomy, power, just all of it. Respect everything. All of it. All of it. And so I think there's a bigger. In my opinion, I'm like, if not more than somebody with a dick between their legs. But. Yeah. That's why I teach them. Like, I feel like, uh, yeah, there's a bigger sense of duty for girl dads in this society, for sure. And I think it's important for them to see strength, you know, strength in both sides that men can be, um, they have masculine strength and they have feminine strength. You, you, there's a mask. Yeah, because I feminine, you have to balance it. Because I love seeing like, when you say something like that too, like going back to like boys or, you know, people, you know, women that are raising boys or whatever, like even dads, like I've seen lots of like people will comment on my stuff when I share things about how I'm raising my daughter. And I love to see it. I feel like our generation of parents and younger, they're like, absolutely. Like, and I'm raising my son to know that your daughter isn't the only one supposed to be in that kitchen or that you will respect these women. And, you know, and I'm like, an amen, I'm raising my daughter's stand for themselves, but also respect the men that are respectful to them and caring to them. Like, yeah, you're right. Because now that I think about it, yeah. So even the dads to boys, yeah, super, super, please, you have to understand that raising your boys to learn and understand that the most harmonious relationship you can have with someone who balances masculine feminine every single right and feel their feelings and women have masculine feminine energy. You have got to be able to create this fluid balance and know when to increase, decrease, when to use it in the right way. And unfortunately we live in a society still today where it is used in a not good way. Right. And I think, and I think there are obviously, like, you know, there is a lot of parents out there that I've seen mostly like the millennial generation. I've noticed like when I have conversations on, you know, like TikTok and things like that where they are, they're like, absolutely not. My son is being raised to show his feelings and his emotions and talk about it. And that's super fucking important. So hopefully that just leads to change. Like I feel like, I feel like, you know, our kids' generation, I feel like they're going to come in this world and they're going to fuck some shit up for the best way. We're going to, you know what I mean? In all aspects of life, like I feel like like those younger generation of kids because they're being raised, majority of them are being raised with like different and better in my opinion, values and morals and ideas and stuff. Like I really do think that those are going to change a lot of shit. I hope so. I want you to come in here and flip the fucking tables. Yeah. The fact that I want them to know that it is totally cool and awesome for a woman to be a CEO and have a husband stay at home and cook and clean, take care of kids. Whatever it is, totally legit. It doesn't mean any doesn't mean anything other than it's equal. And I feel like it's being supportive of who you love. And I also feel like like there's a whoever, if everyone's listening, a driven by Jamie driven by Jamie is a woman who is she's an amazing mother from my opinion, in my opinion, from what I see. And she literally will show her two boys. Oh, you show me one of our videos. Yeah, driven by Jamie. She shows the two boys kind of like, you know, either political stuff or social stuff or like, you know, activist or whatever, just to kind of get their perspective. And where did you find her on Instagram? Where was she on Instagram? It was Facebook. I can't remember. But she, um, yeah, she like shows and then she records her show and her boys and she and you can tell us she's not like directing them. She's just curious. They just have a conversation. Yeah. What do you think he means by saying that? And she'll play like an Andrew Tate video. Them saying like women deserve, you know, whatever the fuck that idiot says. And all these red pill fucking idiot dudes out there. God, I can't see it. But anyway, they'll show a video and show positive. What do you think he means by that? And then she lets the boys kind of like dissect it. Yeah. And it's interesting when you, when you see children who are fluid and they're not yet adapted to the social hierarchy kind of bullshit filter. Kind of what they come up with. And it's like, you listen, you want to know how to be compassionate. Ask children. Oh God, yeah. Children can teach you how to be compassionate without because they are not, they're not hardened by these weird social filters you've been forced to be in and categorized. So it's like they're, they're more fluid. So like you, she asked the boys and the boys are, that's kind of mean. You know, and it's just like so simple. It's like, dude, I think grown men can learn more from these two boys. Yeah. By this mom kind of instigating this conversation. And I think it's important that she's not doing it in a positive way. She's literally teaching her boys. This is how to think. Not what to think, how to think, how to process. You know what I mean? And without any of the bullshit. And it's like, you want to learn how to be more empathetic and compassionate, compassionate towards other people. Ask kids. Kids are the most, they're so like they're fucking. And I'll tell you how to fuck it. And they're, it's almost like the, we have more like, almost, we have more like useless wisdom. We have more like, like, like basic wisdom, like, oh, financial wisdom. And this is what you do with time management and whatever. They have more spiritual wisdom. Yeah. Children are fluid. They like emotional, like, yeah. Emotional wisdom. They'll literally look at someone and just be like, oh, that's mean. That's not nice. So this is, it's, it's crazy. And it's like, it's so simple when you ask kids. And I think it's so great that she's doing it in a way of like, this is how you can raise healthy, masculine boys who also know how to balance their feminine side, which is emotions and nurture and care. And that video, it's, it's, it's amazing. That video when you showed it to me, I was like, I was really posted it. And I shared it and I said, um, on my Facebook, I shared it and I said, I, for I have, as a father of all daughters, I pray that my daughters would end up with a boy. Me and a boy like that. Absolutely. No, cause it's just so, and that's what I mean about the gen, you know what I mean? I think, you know, I think there's a lot of parents out there that are doing it differently for the better. And I love to see it. Parents keep it going. Fuck yeah. And the younger ones on us, you know, I'm telling you, I can't wait for the generation to get, they're gonna flip tables. I hope so. They're gonna flip it down, dude. And I'm here for it. I can't wait to be like 70. You be like, fuck it. Yeah. I know what I mean. Um, we have time where I can do a couple of our anonymous secrets. I love it when people give us a secret. Let's see. Hmm. I love, uh, I love these ones because I had an evil step mom and I hated her guts my whole life. So I love this one. I think it's fucking great. Um, she's like, when my dad got remarried, I scrubbed the toilet with my step mom's toothbrush. Fuck yeah. Why didn't I ever think that shit? You know, like I'm going to make sure like, you know, shitting it first. Oh, and then I fucking scrub it. You are seven as fuck. Diabolical. No, because I did. I had an evil fucking step mom. I hated that bitch. No, she's pretty much an artist as well. What would I mean? Could you imagine like finding out that your toothbrush? Yes, in the toilet. I mean, Hey, don't be a piece of shit. True. And you won't have your toothbrush in the show. True. Most likely. So, um, another one I got, uh, oh, is this one was crazy. My ex-husband, so their ex is now was sending my mother explicit love letters for years, even after we divorced. Dude, and I've seen some things like that. Like you ever heard of the stories? Ex-husband sent my mom. Explicit love letters for years. Explicit love letters. So probably talking about how he wants to dirty things to her. What? What the fuck? Even after they were divorced. I'm going to pause and say, what the fuck is up of mom? Because mom responding to these. Is she telling your fucking daughter that you're creepy as ex-husband? Maybe she had to or unless the, unless she found the letters or something. I don't know about mom. True. Should be never been more than one letter. Letters is plural in this statement. Yes. For years. More than one letter. No, no, no, it's only one letter. And the mom goes, you're crazy. Hey, daughter. You know what I'm saying? Cause she said even after they were divorced, he was still sending her mom explicit love letters. What the fuck's mom doing? How do you have multiple letters, bro? Yeah. Right. You just meowing through her house. Someone to tell this guy to what the, that, bro. All right. And I've heard of this. Fuck. Yeah. I've heard of other stories like that too, where it's like, um, you know, like the sisters end up like sleeping with the other sister's husbands. Like you ever hear those stories? No. Yeah. Or just like, or yeah, or like guys like doing their wife's moms and shit. Don't be a fucking hoe. Isn't that? Could you, I would beat what? I would beat my mom's ass. Sorry, mom, but I would if I ever found out, I couldn't imagine like people that find themselves in those situations. Like. I would literally know why there's more than one letter. There should have only ever been one letter and that should have ended. It should have blown up. Um, I thought this was a good one that we should answer. Um, and kind of just give some advice. Um, I know this is our anonymous secrets one, but I wanted, yeah, I wanted to save this one because I was like, she, I feel like she needs some advice. Um, not to say that we're going to give the best advice, but sure. Um, so it says I'm scared to be a mom again after having to place my child, my children up for adoption five years ago. Children. She might have meant child though too. Um, and so when I saw that I was like, you know, I don't, I feel like it is a scary thing. It can also be a very like exciting thing too. Um, but I think my biggest words of advice would be to, I mean, obviously just because you place a child for adoption or you relinquish your rights or whatever, doesn't mean that you're never allowed to have children again or be a parent again, you know, or whatever the case is. But I think if you're scared, I think it's understandable, but I think that you need to really, um, I mean, I would involve myself heavily in therapy and kind of try to process. Yeah. I was going to say, I think the, the, the one thing that would probably need to be done is you have to like grief. Yeah. You gotta grieve and you gotta grieve and give yourself grace and just like go. And unfortunately I feel like with adoption, you grieve for a lifetime. You know, maybe you need to get the good assets and tool and your tool belt to grieve in a healthy way before jumping in. And that's probably why it's scary because it's like, Oh my God, I don't know how this is going to react because listen, I think anyone who's placed a child, like they know, like it's, it's, and you have your own children that you're parenting, that you're not with the increasing afterwards. It's a huge potential PTSD trigger thing. Yeah. Because your body holds onto that trauma, especially women. I, I, I don't know a lot of birth dads that whatever, but like women, they carry their bodies. I mean, they, you know, the cells of that infant is forever in your body. And so I really feel like if you don't like process that loss, that it'll, it's, it's, I know, I know why it's scary. And it'll be scary even if you do process a loss, but at least give yourself like time to do it. Because I think a lot of times, uh, society wants, uh, specifically birth mothers to just kind of just, that's it. Just forget about it. As if you knew that they expect you just like, well, get over it. Yeah. Get over it. Be done. Move on with your life. That never happened. It's like, you guys, are you fucking kidding me? Okay. Any, and I'm not comparing like the death of a child to one that's living, but the body doesn't know the difference. The grieving process is still the same. The loss is the loss. So tell any parent who lost a child, I'm not through adoption, through death, whatever, to get the fuck over it. Get over it. Yeah. I could imagine looking at anybody in the face saying, and saying that. So there should be no difference between you telling a birth mother, well, get over it. You chose it. Get over it and move on with your life. And then you go in, in a woman who lost a child to death permanently, whatever. It's like, it's, but then you're telling them to get the fuck over it. It's the same thing. Cause, cause yeah, the law is still the law. But I think, yeah, I think setting yourself just with the support to talk about what, why are, what are your fears and to know that like it's normal to have those fears. Um, I mean, it is, it's, yeah, because I think going back in time, I wish we would have known more about the post traumatic, the post traumatic things that happen after you place, you really wish. And I feel like if we were to know all those things, I don't think you would have had half the issues you have a post-param I don't think you would have had. I was going to say, because I'm saying, and then, you know, when I went to, you know, when I put myself in some intensive therapy programs and stuff, it was there that I learned about how pregnancy is, it was a trigger for me. It was very, because obviously my first one was very, it was traumatic. It was trauma. Your body only, and then relinquishing. It was fucking trauma. And it was just loads of trauma. And then a birth and pregnancy. Right. Pregnancy, birth, all of it. Um, and then you throw a couple miscarriages into that, you know, after Nova, but like it's just, yeah. So it's like I had a lot of trauma just involving pregnancy. Yeah, exactly. Which I feel like if we would have known, cause after finding out later in life, you know, I was like, it makes sense. Stop. That it's 30 adoptees are 30 times more likely to commit suicide. And it's like 29%, 33%, whatever, very close that birth mother. Birth mothers and adoptees are literally neck and neck. Yeah. The likelihood of suicide ideation and all these things. And it's like, listen, if we would have known that, right, I could have worked on that. Yeah. I don't think you would have had postpartum with Nova or severe or I would have known to have a support system. You would have been navigating it in the right way. Yeah. But they don't tell anybody about the post traumatic issues that happen after for birth mother. Yeah. After relinquishing it. And then society's saying, telling adoptees, be grateful. Oh, you're minimizing their, um, you're minimizing it. Actually you're taking away their emotional autonomy to feel sad about something. You're robbing it of them. You're saying, you can't be sad about that. No, no, no. Right. And then they tell birth mothers the same thing. Yeah. Get over it. You made the decision to get over it. So you're not allowed to be sad about it. So you have society telling you that you're not allowed to feel what you're feeling, feeling what your thing is wrong. Which makes you disconnected with yourself. You're not aligned. Yeah. You're, you think you're going fucking nuts. Yeah, literally. Wow. The whole world's telling me I should probably get over this and here I am. My God, I mean, I shouldn't. So how many times do I tell you, like, I fall like I'm going fucking crazy. I'm literally going nuts. And so I think I'm psycho. Yeah. So I think people like robbing that you're stealing it from these people. And I, and it's weird that you're not, you don't go and steal this. You don't go and steal this from anyone else. You let veterans be sad about, you know, you let all these other people who have these traumatic experiences, you're, you allow society allows them to have them. You have AA or they get a huge fucking circle and talk about how whatever their struggles are. Yeah. For you, but no, a birth mother gets in there. Well, get over it. You made a choice. The op-ed is that we'd be grateful you're not dead. You could get a dumpster. Right. They got aborted. Right. It's like, what the, why are we doing this? Yeah. So I think, I think definitely I think get a, get a support system around you for sure and to process what, you know, where the fears are coming from and trying to figure that out. Um, I personally think every single birth mother and every single adoptee in therapy period, your life, especially the adoptee started out as trauma birth mother, your being coming a mother started out as a traumatic experience and that requires therapy. Yeah, it does. Hello. Like, come on. Let's go. And I think we should be supportive, more supportive that instead of shuffling it off and minimizing and telling them to get over it. And it's just, there's, I mean, there's needs, lots of change on that whole. Yeah. Um, but so I felt like that was important to talk about her comment or, you know, her message. Um, so that is all we have for you guys this week. No, we talked about your dad and then, you know, about being parents and then, you know, I wanted to do the anonymous questions and stuff too. Um, so we, we are, um, me and Tyra actually going to go see a movie. So that'll be fun. Hopefully I don't fall asleep. So I get for staying up at five and till five in the fricking morning. Last night's stupid. Um, but you guys, please make sure that you, uh, like and like and subscribe and write our show, please. That helps us out a ton. And we love to get the feedback and see what you guys are thinking. Um, and our Patreon page, don't forget that you guys can watch. You can watch these episodes a week after the audio airs on our Patreon page. And then also, uh, we have a Facebook fan page. It's Caitlin and Tyler's fan page on Facebook. Um, and we have a lot of new people in there and people that have also been there through this whole entire journey of ours. And it's a really fun and safe community. And we love to hear from you. I love when I see the comments of people that I've been following you. So I'm like, this is, yeah, I love it. So you guys can check us out all there. And, um, we love you guys. And we're so thankful for your support. And, um, we'll be talking to you guys next week. Bye. Goodbye. Pluto TV stream now, pay never. It's Kail Lowry. 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