less skin, more standard

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It tastes better if it's with that crunchy ice. So anyway, I didn't get an ice machine but I got this little contraption off of Amazon where I like fill it. It's basically like an ice tray and then you crunch it up after you freeze it overnight and then you mend it. It's in this rubbery material and it comes out in these little tiny cubes. So I did that today. So technically I have the crunchy ice but it's just a little bit more maintenance. I think it'd be really fun to actually just have an ice machine. I don't know where I'm going to put it. They're kind of big and bulky and obnoxious but also I mean that would be prime for all of my cold drinks. Not even just an iced coffee but like if I ever wanted to have a little lemonade and I put the crunchy ice in it. Okay. That's my dream. So anyway but here it is. In all of its ASMR. It's gorgeous today. Let's take a sip. Ooh, thank you Jesus. That's good. Aside from that though we also do have our Christ. I have my Bible here with me. Thank you God for the Word of God. We have our Christ and we have our coffee on ice. So today is going to be a good day. I'm really excited for today's episode you guys. It's going to feel a little bit familiar because it is something that I have touched on on the podcast here before. I did an episode with Ashley, gosh like over a year ago now. Yeah. Over a year ago which is insane. Like a year and a half ago where we covered this topic and honestly I still stand by a lot of the things that I talked about in that episode. I'm sure. It hasn't changed. Like it's not that I'm just like, yeah, forget it. Modesty's out. But I just figured it'd be cool to have a little refresher about the topic because it is something that you guys still ask me about. And yeah, I just figured it would be refreshing and it would be a topic worth bringing up again. Especially because I feel like this is something that I think I've nailed it kind of sort. I think I pretty much have modesty down. I know that even since that episode, the Lord has taught me more and shown me more in what modesty really means. And it's not even just the way that we dress, but there's other aspects to that as well. And so I'd love to just talk about it. And I think what's really cool is like this is already a topic in the world aside from religion. Aside from Christianity, aside from who God calls us to be as women of God, modesty is like trending right now, which is really cool. I feel like whether people are pursuing their relationship with Jesus or not, it's trending. It's becoming more of a thing. It's becoming more attractive to actually be modest. And for a long time in society, it was very normal to basically be naked. And to show everything. From a woman's perspective, because I can't talk about how men dress, but for women, it's like we were told to show it all. And we've been told to show it all, which isn't how it's always been. So it's interesting. I feel like culturally in America, it has been a lot more normalized to show off everything. And I think a lot of that is rooted in acceptance, validation from the opposite sex, probably. And yeah, and just wanting to do the thing that everyone, I mean, like, if that's what everyone's telling us that we're supposed to do, then that's what we do. And it's wild because like that was a lot of who I was. For a long time, I wasn't like that per miscus, a majority of my life, I mean, sure, yeah. If I'm going through a breakup or whatever, I probably posted a couple bikini pictures, like some risky bikini pictures. But for the most part, like I was not that showy of my body. But then there was a season in my life, like right before I met Jesus, honestly, where I was like, I was showing a lot online. I was showing a lot. And I thought that's what confidence was. Like I genuinely thought that if I showed up on the internet, showing a lot of my body and doing these really like scandalous photo shoots in lingerie or, you know, a wet t-shirt with no bra on, I know, I know, I'm sorry. But it's true. I mean, like I thought that was confidence. I thought that was being confident in who I was. And I thought that that was like self love. And I thought that that was, you know, yeah, just like being confident in my body and being a woman. I thought that was like true feminism. And it's so funny because the world is like literally the opposite of the truth. Like that couldn't have been so far from the truth. Actually, I did those things, hoping it would make me feel confident. But I never actually did. Like showing my body, it would be like a really quick hit. I'm speaking for myself, you know, like this was just the journey for me. But hopefully a lot of you guys can relate to this. Like I would show up on the internet and I would show my stuff and I would look hot and I'd do my thing. And it would be like a hit of like a drug of dopamine of whatever, of validation from the world, whether it was women or men, honestly, at that point, it was like I had so many female followers, but it didn't matter. Like even getting that type of praise from females would be like, girl, you're bad. You, you cut whatever. I got so much validation from what other people had to say about my body and about how beautiful I was and how oh my gosh, like you're snatched, you're waist, you're boobs, you're this, you're that. But to be honest, it never actually gave me lasting confidence. And I only wanted more. I mean, to try to fill that void in all of us that we were born with like this little pocket in our hearts, as I've said before. And the only thing that can fill that is Jesus because that's who we were made for and by. I mean, yeah, there were so many ways I was trying to fill that void. And this is just an example of that. But it would never last, you know, that like that little cup in my heart, that void in my heart would never actually last. And so I feel like with anything that we're trying to fill that void with once we've hit a certain like level. And we realized like, okay, that gave me a hit for this amount of time, but like it's already gone. The only other option is to like more, right? Is to like accelerate like, okay, more. Like the next time I post a photo shoot where it's a little sexy and scandalous, like I need to do more. Like it was never just like I capped off and I stopped and I was like, yeah, this is enough. Like there's just like that, that desperation and that hunger of like more. And like, yeah, that really could be anything. That could be addiction. That could be whatever, but it doesn't just stop at a certain level. Like truly, if I had let it just keep going, I mean, I don't know if I could have ever, but it's like, gosh, what was I going to start doing just being nude on the internet? I mean, I was pretty close sometimes. And so this is just me like, this is just me being vulnerable and an honest about my journey. And if you're new here, you're probably like, what? Like I had no idea. Or if you've been here for a while, you're like, yeah, girl, I've seen you grow. I've seen you grow high five out. But yeah, so that was just a lie that I believed for a long time. And it's so funny because I would tell myself like, this is for me though. Like I'm not doing this for a validation from men. Like 95% of my followers are females anyway. I'm like, this is for me. Like I'm dressing for me. I'm not dressing for the female gaze, not the male gaze. That was like a trend for a while too. And I was just lying to myself. Like if I was really being honest with myself, like I wasn't just dressing like that for me. I was dressing like that to be accepted and to be validated by other people, whether it was men or women, to be honest. So okay, sure. I'm dressing for the female gaze, but I'm still trying to be validated in my figure. I'm still trying to, you know, get that hit of like, oh my gosh, Ali, like you look amazing. Like look at your body. Oh my gosh. Like that wasn't real confidence. Like I actually never got true confidence from doing those things. I was believing a false reality of like if I were to show more of my body, if I were to be more sexy, if I were to show more of my curves, if I were to show more cleavage, I would be confident. And that just wasn't the truth. It's a spiraling pit of never ending and it's a lie from the enemy to exploit ourselves, to exploit our bodies. And yeah, it's so like the things that came out of my mouth, you guys, it's crazy. Like I used to be like, well, I'm young now and like everything's going to get soggy, soggy. But like, yeah, like saggy, everything's going to get saggy and wrinkly. And you know, my body's the hottest now that it'll ever be. And so I got to go out there. I'm going to, I'm a flaunt it while I got it. It's like, that's just like so not it. And that's so not what God has given us our bodies for. Like that is just so vain. If I'm going to be honest, like, and if those are active things you guys live by right now, I'm not judging you. Like there's no condemnation in this at all. Like I am not here to judge you. But also that is just not reality. Like that is not why, I saw my body as my own. And I think what changed it for me was like, I realized that my body is not mine. It's the Lord's. My body is for God. And I was selfishly using it as a tool to make myself feel better when all I needed to do was go to his feet to feel better. Like all I needed was actually him to feel better. But instead, I abused my own body and used my body to make myself feel better. And honestly, I didn't have a right to do that because it's not mine. My body is a gift from the Lord that I did not earn. He gave it to me. I didn't earn it. He said, here's a healthy body for you to live in, Ali. Please take care of her and please honor her because I've given it to you. And I've knitted it so perfectly in your mother's womb when you were being made in your mom's tummy. And so there's a fear of the Lord that fell over my life, that changed that for me, where I was like, oh, this is not something to be abused. This is not something to be taken advantage of. And this is not something that's actually mine. Like the whole my body, my choice movement, this is going to sound controversial, but like, you can't be a Christian and believe in that because if you're a Christian, you believe that the body that you've been given by God is not actually yours. It is a vessel. It is an instrument that the Lord has given you to glorify him and to honor him. And it's the most fulfilling thing ever. That's the thing. It's like, I'm not a slave to God. If anything, I actually was enslaved to the things that I used to believe about my body. I used to believe that if I were to do this or if I were to do that, or if I would have basically be a circus monkey for the rest of the world, then I would feel good. I was a slave to the world. Like that was not actual confidence. That was not actual freedom. It's so crazy. I was living in a reality where I thought that that was freedom, but it wasn't the way that I talk today and the way that I believe how the Lord wants to use my body today. Sounds restricting, but I'm telling you it's actually the most freedom I've ever received in my life. Like I no longer seek that validation from the world anymore. I don't have to show off my body like it's like a piece of meat, honestly. Like yeah, I am going to get wrinkly and I am going to get old. And things are probably going to become more saggy than they were when I was 20. And that's just the truth, okay? Sorry. Can we just be real for a second? Like, but that's not the point. That's not the point of our bodies. That changed for me. Like that perspective, that lens shifted for me. That my body isn't mine. It's gods. And I think that that started from like loving gods so much. I was like, God, I want to honor my body with you because I love you. And I recognize that like this body is a gift that you've given me. And I want to take care of her. And I don't want to exploit her for people to just gawk at like a piece of meat. And honestly, like I wondered why I was attracting all these jerks of guys. Like, Al, what do you mean? Like you were portraying yourself in a way that honestly didn't even seem like you respected yourself. Even though I thought I, like even though I was like, no, this is like empowerment. This is me being a strong woman. This is me being independent. But like actually I was, that's not what is portrayed to the world when you act that way. I'm talking to BC out, okay? Like that was actually not what was being said. What was being said is, here's everything. Here's everything. And if you want to talk to me, it's probably because here's everything. And then I wondered why I was attracting guys where like honestly all they wanted was my body. But that was the message I was sending was my body. So that became less of a mystery to me where I was like, oh, yeah, I've had it all wrong. I thought this was empowering. I thought this was actually, it's not like men only want this to do with me because this is the thing that I'm highlighting. It took that realization, honestly, that revelation, which only came from the conviction of the Holy Spirit truly. Like it was like God being like, hey, all these things need to change. And I was like, oh, wow, Jesus, you're right. Ew, I don't like how that makes me feel anymore. And honestly, if I'm being honest with myself, I never really liked the way it made me feel. So okay, yeah, that makes sense. It's like he just like ripped the scales from my eyes and I was like, oh, duh. Wait, that makes so much sense. Now I'm not saying that this was like an overnight thing for me. And I'm not saying that it still wasn't hard for me to want to wear certain things. Still there was so much conversation I had to have with God when it came to outfits. And it was a process. It wasn't just like an overnight thing. I had to clear out my closet multiple times. We're like the first time I cleared out my closet, I thought everything that was left in my closet was modest. And then I touched base with myself and with God six months later, I'm still walking with him. He's sanctifying me. He's purifying me. He's changing my mind. He's renewing my mind. And I go back to my closet six months and I go, okay, how did I think that this was still modest? Like, yeah, my closet's a lot better, but like, all are you for real? So it was like a process, you know? And so I think knowing that there's grace for you, God has so much grace for you. If this is a journey that you are currently on, it's okay if you're not perfect at it. I haven't been. And yeah, it's going to be a journey. It's going to be a journey that only, honestly, the Holy Spirit can walk you through. But yeah, there was a fight. There was sacrifice, too, where there were times where I could have gotten away with wearing things out of the house. But at that time, I knew better. Like there were times where I walked out of the house wearing those things and I honestly had no clue. I didn't have the conviction yet. I had the, I didn't have the awareness yet. That's okay. But then I did. And I still had the choice to say, no, I still want to wear this stuff. Like, I know it's technically not okay, but like, I still want to wear it. I could have done that. But then in my mind, I was like, but this is the sacrifice that I'm going to make for Jesus. I don't want to trust my feelings. I don't want to do the thing that makes me feel better about myself. Like I want to do what honors God. And so there were times where I was like, I really want to wear this mini skirt. But if I was honest with myself, it was a little too short where it really didn't leave a lot to the imagination if someone were to look at me. And that's when we need to be strong. That's when we need to be strong. So yeah, I mean, I've had times where I've been like, God, but I feel so cute. And then he's like, I know, but does it honor me? And then I'm like, technically not. The other thing is like, does this honor your future partner? That's another perspective. Like first and foremost fear of God. Like, does this honor my dad in heaven? Does this honor my future spouse? You know, like if he were here right now, or if she were here right now, if you're a man listening, it's probably all women. Hey girls. But like if my future husband was here right now, would he be stoked about what I was wearing? And would he be stoked about like the low key desire in my heart right now to get attention from other men? Yeah. And I really think about it like roles reversed where it's like, I would hope that somewhere in the world, my man is also prioritizing that. And he's like, I am going to save these things for my future wife. And she's going to be the only one that has the luxury of imagining or not imagining, because she'll see it all. Whatever guys, we're just being honest. Like, can we just be for real? It's the truth, okay? But like I want her to know confidently that she is the only person who gets to imagine and see and you know. And so if that's what I would hope for my future husband, I better hold myself at that same standard. Like with the outfit that you're wearing and the low cut shirt that you have on, you can be like, no, I just feel confident when I look like this and I'm doing it for the girls. But like a man's eyes would go there. So yeah, I think it's just like being honest about your intentions. Like truly what are your intentions when you're posting that? What are your intentions when you're wearing that? Be so honest with yourself. Please allow the Lord to search your heart and be like, okay, maybe there is some underlying desire of validation, freak. Okay, fine. And that takes humility. It does. Pride has to leave the room. And if that's something you struggle with, I would love to pray for you in that. But also pray to the Lord for strength and be like, God, please let me die every day. Like kill me every day. Let my flesh die. Let my pride die. Let me be humble before your feet. Let me not tell you how I should be living my life. Like God, I want to honor you and I don't want to be prideful. I don't want to be in denial. Like I want to be humble and true and honest with myself. And so I think that that takes a lot of, yeah, just like humility of, okay, fine. Okay, fine. If I'm being honest with myself, yeah, I do want to feel a little sexy. I do. And I've had to face that like that. None of us are off limits to that. Same. I've had to be humbled. Same. So funny. I keep looking at the camera and I feel like I'm like squinting because my eyes are getting heavy. Like I am so tired. I worked out today. I started working with a personal trainer. Sorry guys, super side note. This has nothing to do with modesty. But I started working with a personal trainer today and she absolutely kicked my butt. And I'm like, it's 430 right now. That was at like 8 a.m. It's 430 right now and I am hitting a wall. Like I feel like I'm looking at you guys and I'm like, I'm like falling asleep my eyeballs. I can't, I can't see. Okay. We are going to get through this in Jesus name though. We're going to get through this episode. I'm having a lot of fun so far. This is a cool topic. This is fun. Okay. This is just giving big sister. Guys, okay. I love you. Yeah. Intentions are really important. Heart posture is really important. Another thing which is so wild. I didn't realize that this was like a thing. But I learned it in my journey of modesty is your eyes. Girls. We can carry a lot in our eyes. And I don't know if it's as common for men to do this. There's like, and I think this is just in culture. I think this is just what we've learned. I think this is a little bit of a Jezebel spirit which we can talk about if you guys aren't familiar. Seduction. Manipulation with our eyes. I learned that. I don't know where I learned it. But I did the siren eyes, the like sexy in the eyeballs. Like you can actually be immodest. I know. I know. But tell me some like light bulbs are going off in your eyes because when this was, I was like, oh. Allie, you're being sexy with your eyeballs. I could have been so covered up, but it's the eyes where you, it can get really icky and it can get seductive and it can get sexual and it can be manipulative. And it's really icky. Like it, like now it like gives me like an icky feeling in my stomach because I used to do that. And again, seduction is like, it's wrong. Like I, it's just not okay. It's just wrong. And it makes men stumble and it's still seeking validation. It's still like, come here. I know you want me. I'm hot, right? Tell me I'm hot. Tell me you want me. It's just like it's gross. It's not okay. And I was doing that. So ladies, be mindful of what you're doing with your eyeballs. Are you trying to seduce a man through the screen? Are you trying to seduce a man from across the table? Yeah, that's real. Y'all, this is crazy. So Matthew 622-23, so this is the NIV translation, says the eye is the lamp of the body. If your eyes are healthy, your whole body will be full of light. It is actually crazy how biblical it is. That it is so telling of what is inside of you, like your heart-mind body soul. Just through what is shown through your eyeballs. Like you meet a believer who is filled with the Holy Spirit and where do you notice it first? In their eyes. I have. I've met some spirit-filled people and eyes so where I can see Jesus Christ Himself through their eyes. But you can also see a spirit of seduction and a spirit of Jezebel through somebody's eyes. You can see when somebody is a little off through their eyes. It's all spiritual. It's great. Like it's crazy. You can tell when somebody is demonically oppressed or possessed. It's just be for real. Through what? Their eyes. And so modesty can also be shown through your eyeballs. I have. But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness? In this passage, the eye represents your focus, your desires, and what you allow into your inner life. Think of your eyes like the gateway to your heart-mind and soul. A healthy eye, clear, single-minded, focused on God, an unhealthy eye, distracted, envious, greedy, or focused on the wrong things. The warning in this verse is that if you think you're seeing clearly but your focus is wrong, that misalignment can take you far off course without you even realizing. It's a gentle warning. Be careful what you fix your eyes on. It determines the condition of your whole body. Your eyes are your focus. There's two perspectives of this. Like taking it literally of like what do you fix your eyes on, but also that your eyes really are a gateway to your mind, body, and soul. And so if Jesus is the very thing that you are fixated on, there's a good chance that that's what's going to show through your eyes. But if your focus and priority is acceptance, validation, to seduce a man, to fall in love with you through the phone, it's going to show through your eyeballs, my girl. And it's so crazy because it's like those were the things that I thought would attract a man, but the men that I actually wanted to attract would be the men who could see Jesus in my eyes. Not seduction, not Jezebel, which let's talk about that for a second. Who was Jezebel in the Bible? Jezebel was a queen in first kings who prompted adultery, specifically bail worship, hated God's prophets, manipulated and controlled her husband, who was King Ahab, used deceit and seduction to get what she wanted, had a rebellious and unrepentant heart. Because of this, her name became symbolic of a certain spirit or attitude that opposes God. What people mean by the spirit of Jezebel? When Christians say Jezebel spirit, they usually mean a spirit of control or manipulation, twisting situations, using emotions, seduction, guilt or imitation to get their way. A spirit of rebellion against God, rejecting God's authority, God's truth, and anything that calls for repentance. A spirit of seduction. This can be sexual seduction, but also emotional, spiritual or relational seduction, pulling people away from God. Jezebel threatened Elijah, causing him to run in fear. People use this term to describe an influence that tries to silent God's people. And lastly, a spirit of adultery, turning people's hearts away from God, often through subtle or deceptive pull towards worldly things. What the Jezebel spirit isn't, it's not a diagnosis, it's not an excuse to label or attack women, a way to demonize strong personalities, a literal named demon you see in the Bible, something only women can walk in, men can too. It's symbolic of a type of destructive spiritual influence. Lastly, this is kind of fun. What is the biblical response that we should have to the Jezebel spirit? The Bible's response is discernment, repentance, submission to God's truth, authority and Christ, cutting off any unhealthy influences, walking in purity and obedience. So if you ever hear anybody refer to the spirit of Jezebel, the Jezebel spirit, that's exactly what it is. It's mainly just seduction and manipulation. It's a spirit that influences us to manipulate others to do what we'd want them to do, to seduce them. And so if that's what you're doing with your eyeballs, that is not of the Lord. Yeah, and it's just backwards. Again, it's so opposite of the truth. Like, you want to attract a man, then just reflect Jesus and be like Jesus. Look like Jesus. Have him radiate literally through your eyes. And the way that you do that is by spending time with him, letting him fill you daily and being humble at Jesus' feet and just absorbing everything. He wants to give his love, his wisdom, his presence and his blood that washes us clean every day from our sins. You know, as long as that is your focus and as long as you are doing those things, you are going to attract the right man. I also think it takes less of us leaning on our own understanding of like, well, surely if I dress like this and surely if I look like this, I'm going to attract the man of my dreams. But the truth is, it's like you are just going to be gazing into Jesus' eyes and you are going to be reflecting Jesus so much that that will attract the man of your dreams. There is a clear difference between the men that try to pursue me now versus the men that try to pursue me at a time where I didn't have Jesus at the center of my life. And so if you are a Christian woman and you want to attract a man who is obsessed with Jesus, there shouldn't be a worry in your mind that you won't be able to attract a man like that if it means that you're not seducing him through the phone or you're not showing off your body in a way that's sexual because that shouldn't be what he's looking for in a partner. Like obviously, we're not going to sit here and lie and say that like, you wouldn't want your partner to care about their physique, you know, and like be healthy, but that shouldn't be his like number one concern is like, does she reflect Christ? And does she have Jesus in her eyes? Does she act like Jesus? Like does she love people like Jesus? And I think that's actually what makes you incredibly attractive. And also like does she respect herself enough to actually not just show off her body like on display for the whole world to say, Hey, that's a great body or you know what I mean? I mean, I've learned that that actually is a lot more attractive to a good man, a good man. So you're running out of closet space. The good news, you don't need to stop shopping. You just need to start selling with the real real. The real real is the world's largest and most trusted resource for authenticated luxury resale, whether it's that mini bag that can't even fit your phone or those boots you never fully broke in. The real real handles everything from photography and copywriting to shipping and pricing. So you can just sit back, get paid, and make room for things that actually feel like you. And with 10,000 plus new arrivals every single day from top designers like Prada, Selene, Louis Vuitton, and Louis Vé, all for up to 90% off retail. You're bound to find something perfectly on brand to fill that extra closet space with. Plus, right now you can get an extra $100 to shop when you sell for the first time. Make room for what feels like you. Go to the realreal.com to start selling and get your extra $100 to keep shopping at the realreal.com. That's the realreal.com. Terms apply. Another thing that I've just like I've learned in navigating modesty, because now it's like, okay, now we've just determined like why we've talked about the importance of being modest, the importance of honoring our bodies as women of God, and what that means, fear of the Lord, not manipulating or seducing men with our bodies or with our eyes, right? We've stressed the importance of all of those things. Your next question would probably be like, okay, so what do I wear that would be considered modest? This is where I really think like obviously there are hard nose. This isn't just like a blanket of like, oh, it's your personal conviction, like whatever you think. There are hard nose. In my opinion, there are hard nose of like, if it is accentuating and drawing attention, direct attention to those things, and it doesn't leave a whole lot to the imagination, it's a hard no. Like I'm not going to wear a top that shows off my cleavage. I'm not going to why, why? What is the point of showing off my cleavage? Right. It's sexual. So that's a hard no for me. Another hard no is like wearing leggings that have like the wrenching, like the the wrenching in between your butts to like to like make your butt cheeks more but cheeky. What girl? Wrap it up. I'm talking to BC Ali. Wrap it up. That's a hard no for me. A hard no is like showing off my entire thighs. It doesn't leave much to the imagination. So if that's the truth, then we probably shouldn't be wearing it. Now again, I'm not hurt. I think the biggest thing that I still struggle with is maybe active wear. I think that's hard for me. I think for the most part, I'm definitely more modest than what you see at the gyms most of the time. But that's still a journey for me. Because I think any active wear that's made for women right now doesn't really leave a lot to the imagination. It's hard, right? I think sometimes it depends on colors too. I typically try to wear darker colors if I'm going to wear leggings or if I'm going to wear shorts. Obviously, my shorts, I want them to come to an appropriate like mid-thigh moment. You know, nothing too short. But I'm not going to wear lights like a lot of lighter colors because sometimes I think those that can accentuate and show things off more. Also it does depend on your body type. Like I hate to say it, but can we talk about it? I think that's a very real thing. Like if you are naturally more curvy, if you've got more wider hips and you've got a little bit more of a bedonk or you've got a bigger boobs girl, it's just, it's unfortunate. But like there are some shirts that I can't wear that some of my girlfriends who don't have as big of a chest as me can get away with and it still looks modest on them. So I think also like understanding your body type, what flatters it and what is just honestly the truth. Like there probably are going to be things that other women could probably wear and it would look modest on them and you just simply can't because you're a little curvier. There's nothing wrong. There's no shame in that. But it's just like having that awareness, you know, where you're like, ah, well she could wear this, but I probably can't because I just think it's going to be showing off my booty way too much. So I think that's a huge thing is like understanding, you know, the reality of your body type and finding what flatters her in a way that's still modest. It's funny because in the beginning of my modest journey I actually was wearing like a lot of baggy clothes and I was wearing a lot of like a unisex stuff. Like I was wearing a lot of like fun baggy teas and like overalls and I wasn't like wearing the most feminine like fitting clothing and yeah, that was a part of my journey, but I balanced it out with the Lord where I was like, okay, I still actually really want to feel feminine though. Like I want to feel like a woman and I don't want to be afraid of my figure. Like I want to still be able to emphasize parts of my body that wouldn't be sexual, but it would be like, oh, like she's feminine. Like it would be attractive, but not in a way that's like sexy, seductive, lustful. And so I'm not saying I'm only going to wear baggy clothes, but even the sweater like I don't know, some people, if you're physically watching, I don't think this is a modest. Again, to each their own, if you don't feel comfortable showing your collarbone, I get it. That's okay. I know even in some other religions, it's like you don't do that, but I don't wear like a lot of off the shoulder stuff anymore or like tube top stuff. I think that I just think that might be a little bit too much skin in my opinion. It really comes down to also personal conviction, but like I think this is still so feminine. It's attractive, but I don't believe that this is lustful, that this is like sexy, that this is going to like arouse anyone. Okay, but she's a girl. She's a girl. There are still dresses that I'll wear that will show off my waistline a little bit, but it doesn't then go tight to my booty and tight to my hips and like hug every inch of my body. I like to feel like a little hourglass, like a little girl, like a woman. And honestly, like there's so much on Pinterest too, that helps me. And I think it's really helpful that like modesty is actually trending. Like Sophia Richie, her style, feminine, cute, but modest. Haley Bieber, honestly, not all her stuff is modest, but like for the most part, like her out and about like her outfits where she's just like chilling and going out and about. Modest, cute, feminine, who's another example? I mean, Europeans got it down. Like they keep it expensive. I mean, they look expensive, like they just look like they respect themselves. That's the inspo, ladies. That's the inspo. And now is the time because I think everyone's sick of the whole like selling our bodies and showing off too much. I think about as dying, I think it's old news. I think people are over it and modesty is coming in. It's becoming a thing and I'm like I'm living for it. So now is the time because it's trending anyway. There is something really empowering about it. Like I actually believe it or not have never felt so confident. And this is the most I've covered my body in a really long time. So isn't that funny that I thought the very opposite was actually the way that I was supposed to live my life. It was the way that was going to give me confidence. But in reality, ever since I've started covering my body more, I actually have never been more confident. And now that I am, you guys know, my fitness journey and all of that too. But yeah, there actually is something so empowering about like not letting strangers know what you look like naked, basically. The heart difference between a sexy slash lustful outfit and a feminine slash classy outfit. So before the clothes, the intent matters. We're kind of going back a little bit like we were already touching on this, but just bear with me. So a sexual and lustful outfit aims to draw sexual attention or highlight the body in a way that invites lust. And classy outfits aim to express beauty, maturity, and confidence without centering sexuality. Your heart posture sets the tone for how the outfit comes across. Now the visual difference is, right, which is like our biggest question right now, I think. Sexy and lustful is short, short mini skirts, super high slits, deep plunging necklines, very tight or sheer material over private areas. So that's why I don't really feel convicted about having like something that hugs my waist a little bit because I don't actually think there's anything wrong with showing that you have a waist, showing that you have that like feminine hourglass moment. I personally have felt convicted about allowing my clothes to be too fitted and like clinging to every curve of my body, especially the private areas, you know, like your booty. You, you know, so that and I still think there's a way to do it. That's like classy and mature and confident. So now feminine and classy outfits show some skin, but in a balanced, elegant way. So like that's why I think even if you guys were to look at my sweater right here, like there is no cleavage. My sweater could be off my shoulders a lot more, but that's when I think it's getting a little too seductive. It's like I'm showing just enough of my neckline where I believe it's still a really good balance of like some skin, but I'm mainly covered. It's balanced and it's like elegant. It's tasteful. We're going for tasteful. We're going for elegance. We're going for mature. We're going for woman of God. Okay, not girl of God. Open necklines instead of deep plunges. Love that. See, open, not deep. Midi skirts or tasteful hemlines instead of mini. So a midi skirt, right, mid thigh or right above the knee, cute. If something is fitted, it's not clinging to every curve. So it's not that having fitted clothing is wrong. As long as it's not clinging to every curve of your body. And so again, I feel convicted about wearing any kind of dresses where it clings all the way to my butt. But if it's clinging onto my waist and even like, and then it just goes off from my hips and it just drapes down from there, I think that's a really elegant feminine and it's not clinging to like every curve on my body. Classy doesn't mean covered from head to toe. It means intentional instead of provocative. Now a sexy and lustful fit, very tight body con pieces, clothing that lifts, squeezes, pushes up or exaggerates, a feminine and classy fit tailored, fitted or flowy, but not constricting, pieces that complement your shape, not expose it. I love that. You still look beautiful, just not hyper sexualized. Now fabric that could be sexier lustful, sheer mesh, cutouts around chest mid-riff hips, latex or overly shiny material, feminine and classy fabrics are satin linen silk cotton wool, soft quality materials that feel expensive and timeless. The vibe is elegance, not flashingness. That's a cool perspective. And purpose of the outfit, so a sexy and lustful outfit looks designed with the primary goal of attracting sexual attention. Look at my body kind of vibe. Feminine and classy purpose looks designed to present yourself with dignity and confidence. Look at my presence, not just my body. The difference is focus. Now lastly styling, sexy slash lustful styling, heavy makeup, extreme heels, loud accessories, revealing combos, like tight and short and low cut all at once. Feminine classy is soft or clean makeup, one area highlighted eyes or lips, not both. Neutral or delicate jewelry, a balance if the top is fitted but the bottom is more relaxed, elegant, all about harmony. I love that. That's so true. I love the emphasis on balance. That if the top is fitted, then the bottom is more relaxed. Or if the bottom is a little bit more fitted in a way that's classy and not accentuating, then the top can be a little bit. But I like that there's a difference also between when you're trying to be sexy and lustful, it's revealing combos everywhere. Everything is tight. It's low cut, all of it is happening at once. Your makeup is like heavy everywhere, extreme heels versus like soft, clean makeup. Or if you are to wear makeup and accentuate something, it's like just the eyes or just the lips. It's not all at once. Neutral and delicate jewelry. That has been like my thing lately. I love, like you guys can even see my little necklace today. How sweet. I like, I actually love my outfit for the topic today because I feel like I did okay. I think I did an okay job. Okay, this is fun. Okay, this is what we'll close with today, guys. So quick test, the three second rule. When you look in the mirror and ask what is the first thing someone will notice? If the answer is your chest, your butt, your curves, how short it is, it's leaning towards sexy and lustful. And so that is something I definitely had to practice with the Lord for a little bit. And those were those moments where I was like standing in the mirror with Jesus and I was like, oh, but God, I feel so good in this. And he's like, yeah, but does it honor me? If we're being honest, where do the eyeballs go first? Now if your answer is your face, your presence, your softness, your confidence, the overall outfit, like the vibe, then it's feminine and classy. So practice the three second rule. And be honest, that's when humility has to come into the room. Okay. And you're like, all right, okay, fine. If I'm being honest with myself, yeah, I'm sure everyone will actually look at my butt first. So anyway, it's a journey for all of us. I'm not saying I've necessarily mastered modesty, but I do think I'm at the best place ever in my journey of modesty that I've been in in my life. And so yeah, it's just an honor to be able to share with you guys my honest journey and what the Lord has convicted me of. And also what are just hard truths of what it means to be a woman of God and a woman of modesty and a woman of class and a woman of elegance and a woman of respect? Honestly, that is like, like high caliber woman in my opinion. And that is the kind of woman that God is calling you to be. And I'm excited for you to discover it. If it's not something that you have necessarily navigated into, but like maybe this episode inspired you, or if it's something that you've already been doing, let's go, my girl. Let's go. So proud of you. And yeah, I think that this is just like a great opportunity to continue to also inspire other women to respect their bodies and to honor the Lord with it. And there is something so empowering about being a modest woman of God. Like there truly is nothing more empowering than that. If the ways that I dressed and the ways that I lived in my life was fulfilling enough, I'd still be there. And I'm not. I'm here now because this is the way that God has always intended me to live my life. And I believe that for you too. And it's beautiful. It's a beautiful, empowering journey with the Lord. Yeah. So anyway, I love you guys. Thank you for tuning in today. I hope that this was a helpful episode. I hope that it blessed you. I hope that it encouraged you. But first before we go, actually, can we do something cool today? Can we show somebody how cool Jesus is? Can we walk more like him? Talk more like him. Be more like Jesus today. Be a clear reflection of Jesus, even through our eyes. I hope that you guys love people, even with the way that we look at them today. I'm proud of you guys. I love you. I hope you have a great weekend and an incredible rest of your week and a beautiful Christmas. I think the next time I see you guys, Christmas will be over. It'll be the day after Christmas. So I really hope that you guys have a beautiful holiday. And yeah, I'll see you guys next week. Okay. Bye. Are some of you all still listening? Okay. If you're still here, that means you're a real one, which is why I'm about to share this with you. I've already caught up on all the episodes so far and you don't want to wait until next Friday for a new one. I have really good news for you. Subscribe to our Patreon to get early access to the episodes every week, early access to merch launches or any other exciting news and receive personalized encouraging messages or Bible verses from us. Subscribe to our Patreon at www.patrion.com, backslashc, backslashcwceoi. I do also want to mention that there is a way to give to the podcast. So if you ever feel led to donate, it blesses me so much and it helps allow the podcast to keep running. You can donate to our PayPal at www.papel.me, backslashcwceoi. We appreciate y'all and we love you so so much.