Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

HTDE: Crushes and Smells

18 min
Apr 15, 2026about 2 months ago
Listen to Episode
Summary

This episode of How to Do Everything features advice on confessing romantic feelings to a crush and scientific explanation of why smells seem to linger in your nose. The show includes a follow-up with a fourth-grader named Darcy who successfully told her crush Aiden she liked him, and an interview with smell researcher Claire Dumarck explaining the science behind olfactory perception.

Insights
  • Bravery in romantic confession matters regardless of outcome—rejection doesn't negate the courage required to be vulnerable
  • Phantom smells are psychological rather than physical; smell molecules are enzymatically destroyed after detection and cannot hide in nasal passages
  • Smell perception is evolutionarily designed to reset quickly so organisms can detect new, potentially life-threatening odors
  • Vanilla preference may be innate, linked to compounds found in breast milk, suggesting early sensory imprinting shapes lifelong preferences
  • Children's romantic relationships operate under different social rules than adults, with note-passing and friend intermediaries replacing traditional dating
Trends
Growing interest in understanding psychological vs. physiological explanations for common sensory experiencesNormalization of discussing childhood romantic experiences in mainstream mediaScientific communication becoming more accessible through podcast formatsEvolutionary psychology explanations for human preferences gaining popular attention
Topics
Adolescent romantic relationshipsOlfactory science and smell perceptionPsychological vs. physiological sensory experiencesBravery and vulnerability in social interactionsEvolutionary biology of human sensesVanilla and flavor preference originsBrain adaptation to persistent odors
Companies
Wise
International money transfer app advertised as sponsor offering multi-currency transactions
Avallera
Tax and compliance software solution featured in sponsor advertisement
People
Claire Dumarck
Olfactory science expert who explained the molecular basis of smell perception and why phantom smells are psychological
Ian
Co-host of How to Do Everything who asked questions about smell science and childhood romantic experiences
Mike
Co-host of How to Do Everything who facilitated advice segment with Darcy about confessing romantic feelings
Darcy
Fourth-grader who called for advice on telling her crush Aiden she liked him and provided follow-up update
Liesl
Darcy's parent who facilitated the initial call and follow-up update about Darcy's romantic situation
Quotes
"I think it's one of those things where it is an act of bravery, no matter how it goes. Yeah. Like if you get the news you want and he likes you back, that's wonderful and you are brave. If it turns out he doesn't like you back, you are still brave."
MikeEarly segment
"There is no scientific proof of this, of a smell that could like, you know, hide in a corner of your nose and then come back later."
Claire DumarckMid-episode
"It indeed has to be because indeed, like if you had a permanent smell and something else happened and you cannot smell this other smell, that is very, maybe very important for your survival, then you have to have the first smell disappearing so you can be sensitive to the second one."
Claire DumarckMid-episode
"Just let the other person do the work."
DarcyFollow-up segment
Full Transcript
This week on Up First, one trend emerging this election season. President Trump actively opposing Republicans he sees as disloyal and endorsing their primary challengers, who've toppled incumbents in multiple states. We're watching key primaries on Tuesday in Kentucky and elsewhere to see if that narrative holds up. And what those races might tell us about November. Listen to Up First every morning on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey guys, it's Peter once again in your Wait Wait Feed. I am so pleased to present to you another episode of How to Do Everything by Wait Wait Producers Ian and Mike. Now remember you can only get these episodes of How to Do Everything in our feed for a short while. So if you love the kind of mysteries that Mike and Ian are revealing make sure you subscribe to How to Do Everything at their own feed. Thanks. Hey Liesl, what can we help you with? Well let me get Darcy. Hang on a second. She's the one with the question. Okay. Make sure we can get into a spot where you can hear us all right. Is she getting Darcy out of the back of a cupboard? Okay, she just ran in here. All right Darcy, do you want to introduce yourself and tell Mike and Ian what your question is? I'm Darcy and my question is how do you tell a boy that you like him? Oh my gosh. That's a tough question. How old are you Darcy? Ten. Okay. Is this a generic question or is there a boy we're talking about? There's a boy we're talking about. Is this a question on your behalf or are you asking for a friend? On my behalf. Okay. All right. I appreciate the boldness here Darcy. Let's get into it. Who's the boy? His name is Aiden. Okay. Aiden. And he likes the color blue and sharp and he likes to play video games and stuff. I love it. Okay. He sounds lovable. So have you tried to tell Aiden that you like him? Not really, mainly because I'm afraid that he's going to say he doesn't like me. Yeah. That's always the risk, isn't it? Okay. So when you guys are on the playground and you're talking, what do you guys talk about? It's sort of personal stuff. Sure. Yeah. Come on Mike. Yeah. Okay. Fair enough. Fair enough. Has there been anything that has happened that maybe Aiden has said or done where you thought, oh, I think he does like me? Not really. He does information from your friends though and his friends, right? His friends say that he likes me and my friends tell his friends that I like him. I mean, that feels pretty solid. I feel like that's pretty solid information. Do you feel confident in all of that? Kind of. I also think it's one of those things where it is an act of bravery, no matter how it goes. Yeah. Like if you get the news you want and he likes you back, that's wonderful and you are brave. If it turns out he doesn't like you back, you are still brave. That's right. That is like a thing to sort of go into it with because bravery is like everything. Okay. Did you want us to call Aiden right now? Yeah. Do you want us to just call him? We'll do it. Do you have his phone number? No. Good. Wait, was that no, you don't have his phone number or no, you don't want Mike and Ian to call him? Both of them would be fine. Both of those things. Yeah. Okay. Good. Darcy, I see really good judgment here. You're making all the right calls. All right, we are going to see if we can find somebody who can help Darcy find love. But in the meantime, I have a question that I have been wondering about. Can a smell get stuck in your nose? Yeah, I know what you're talking about. I've been there. You smell a smell and then you get away from the smell and it's still, you're still kind of smelling it. Claire Dumarck is online with us now. She's a researcher at University Paris Sacclet. Is the smell staying in my nose or is this psychological? That's interesting. That's interesting. So yeah, it's like the smell stays in your nose, right? Yeah. It stays in your nose and comes back when it's the one. So there is no scientific proof of this, of a smell that could like, you know, hide in a corner of your nose and then come back later. So you might first know that smells, they are molecules. So they are particles, real particles that you know, detects. And those particles are supposedly eliminated once you smell them. Your system is done in a way that there is enzyme that are able to basically break those molecules. Okay, break the particles and the particles are eliminated. So the molecule that makes the smell is destroyed. Exactly. Exactly. So you're not supposed to be able to smell it hours later. Wait, what destroys it? But when I smell it, then it immediately, its purpose is served and it disappears? Exactly. It's disagree. Yeah, it is broken basically in small parts and eliminated in your mucus. And so by breaking it and the flows of molecules eliminated, once you smelled it, once you capped it. Okay, so when this thing happens, it's all in my head. It's all psychological. So I want you to go there after. So it can be in your head. Yes, like when you see something and you know, a bit later, you think again about it and you see it in your mind. It can happen, right? Like you see something, then you do your life, and later you take a coffee and I was like, oh, I saw that and you see the image in your brain, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It seems to be more something like this. Can I ask Ian, can I ask you a question? What is the smell that when you think about this? Because I feel like I guess, I'm going to guess what it is, but I want, why don't you tell me what it already tell us what it is? I can't actually remember what made me start thinking about this, but I think what Mike is referring to is I have a child who is still in diapers. Exactly. Yeah. Occasionally, you will change a diaper and you know, half an hour later, you will think, did I do the job as well as I thought I did? And you find that you did. And so this made me wonder, is it hanging out in my nose? And now I know it was just the trauma of changing the diapers. So it does happen most of the time for unpleasant odor, unfortunately. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Earlier, Claire, you said that you were, I think you were joking that a small molecule of smell would be hiding in your nose and then you would find it. Is it possible for a molecule of smell somehow be hidden under something or, you know, just be, you know, laying in weight? No, it is not possible that a molecule hiding on those and the wait to arrive. Is there a reason that, you know, like an evolutionary advantage, a reason that a smell is destroyed when we smell it? It indeed has to be because indeed, like if you had a permanent smell and something else happened and you cannot smell this other smell, that is very, maybe very important for your survival, then you have to have the first smell disappearing so you can be sensitive to the second one. And if the smell is not leaving and your system cannot process it, your brain will take over because the brain can basically also break the connections that make you smell something. This is also why you don't smell your own odor. You have no idea what you're smelling. Other people do. I'm not speaking about like a intense sweat that you have, like sometimes this one, you can smell it because you don't always smell like this, but your permanent odor, you don't smell it. Yeah. Can I ask Claire, as someone who's like, I guess an expert in smell, there are any number of bad smells? Is there a smell that people in your field regularly think of as one of the best smells? The best smell? Yeah, like, oh, that's a good smell. Vanilla. Vanilla is always working as something that everyone likes. Vanilla, really? Yes. Oh, that's good. It seems that there is a study that shows also the maternal milk is also containing this molecule. So maybe this is even something we learn to like very early on. It's linked to like a nutritive food. So yeah. Wait, so breast milk has molecules of the same as vanilla? There is some studies that shows that. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's interesting. Okay. So it's deep in us that we like vanilla from way back. Exactly. Well, Claire, thank you so much. Yes, of course. This message comes from wise, the app for international people using money around the globe. You can send, spend and receive an up to 40 currencies with only a few simple taps. Be smart, get wise, download the wise app today or visit wise.com, tease and seize, apply. It can be hard to keep up with all the new movies on streaming services. How do you tell the good ones worth watching from the bad or the silly ones you can laugh along with or at? On NPR's pop culture happy hour, we're recommending some fun movies you may have missed. Listen via the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, if you have any questions or if anything's lingering in your nose, like the cesspool that is Ian's two nostrils, go ahead and send it to us. Send it to us as a question at how to at NPR.org. I, you know, reason why our promos or calls for questions need to be hurtful, but whatever gets you sending those emails so that we can help you as soon as possible. I'm sorry I did that. That's not fair. Your nose is terrific and I'm sure it smells good. I'm sure your nose smells good. I will also say how to at NPR.org. Our email has been flooded with many, many of you trying to help out Kevin and Rebecca, the people we helped out last week who had a mysterious blanket and sheet mystery. Most of you or a lot of you are suggesting they get two separate sheets, separate comforters or separate blankets. This is a good solution. I just want to say some names. I'm just going to go through the email box of people that wrote in either with kind words for Kevin and Rebecca or a solution. We heard from Mara. We heard from Nina, Christina, Katie, Kitsy. I was about to say Chris, but that's another email. Chris offered no help. Monica, did you say Monica yet? So many people. The list is endless. Jody, Andrea, here's someone saying what's wrong with you guys. Anyway, I will say it really warms the heart to see everyone chipping in to help Kevin and Rebecca. Kevin and Rebecca, I hope you hear from all these people who almost unanimously have decided you need to get separate blankets. Get separate blankets. Of course, if you don't want to send an email, you can also comment on our episodes on Spotify. Okay, this hasn't really happened just before on the show, but Liesl and Darcy, who we spoke to at the beginning of the show about Darcy and Aiden, they have reached back out to us and they say they need to give us an update before we go any further solving their problem. Hello, Liesl, Darcy. Hi. Hi. What's happening? How's it going? Stuff's happening. Okay, wait, so stuff's happening. What's going on? Aiden told me he liked me. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. Can you take us through it? What happened? We both needed to use the bathroom and he waged for me, and then we walked up from band and he said, you know when Connor told me that you liked me and I said no, I was lying. And what did you say? Yay. You said yay. Tell us how you really feel. I can't explain how I feel in words. Yes, yes. That's beautiful. Yep. So what happens now? I don't know. Yeah. Let me ask you this question because I know you're in fourth grade, right? Yeah. So do you guys go out and do stuff? Do you go to the movies? Do you go out to dinner? What happens? We don't do that stuff. Yeah. We pass notes to each other in class. Really? Do you get in trouble for that? Because you should. No, we don't get in trouble for that. Okay. We sit right next to each other, so it's easy. So is this like, so would you say, are you boyfriend and girlfriend now? Is that how it works? No, not really. I don't really know. Okay. Don't have to put a label on it. His mom said that they were special friends. Great. That's, wow, if only it were always that simple, huh? So, my wish. Oh, sorry, go ahead. I said I wish it was. Yeah, you wouldn't be wasting your time with these two jokers. That's for sure. Okay. So when we talked to you before, you wanted some advice on how to tell him. It sounds like he has now been told. Everybody got the kind of answer they wanted. Is there anything we can do for you now, moving forward? I think Darcy will have some advice for other girls who want to know how to tell a boy they like him. Yeah. Just let the other person do the work. Yes. Yes. Well, that does it for this week's show. What did you learn, Ian? Well, I learned that the certified best smell in the world is vanilla. Yeah. What do you think of that? I personally love, I prefer vanilla ice cream to chocolate ice cream. Is that right? I'm often the only one. Yeah. And I do think that what Claire said about how maybe the reason we love vanilla is because the compounds in vanilla also exist in breast milk. I feel like that makes me feel a little weird about my preference for vanilla over chocolate ice cream. I don't want to... There's certain bags you don't want unpacked. Yeah, I think that's right. That's one of them. That's the kind of information now that I have it and I know what you're going to order the next time we go to the ice cream store. I'll just make sure when we're done eating, done drinking, I'll just bring you over close to just gently burp you. I also found interesting what Claire told us that when you smell a smell, when you inhale a smell, your body destroys that smell. Yeah. It tears it apart so it cannot be smelled again. Wait, okay. So if that's what's happening and you're in a place where there is a terrible smell, is that the right approach then to just go after it, like use your nose like a vacuum cleaner and just like, this smells terrible. The only way out is through, I got to suck it all in and destroy those bad odors. I like the idea of just taking one for the team. Just I will inhale all of these molecules. I will destroy them. Yeah. Do you have a match? I just need to get rid of the smell. Don't worry. I got it. Give me a few minutes. I am the match. How to Do Everything is produced by Skyler Swenson with Technical Direction from Lorna White. We also want to tell you to check out the NPR app. That's an application for your telephone. The NPR app brings you the best of public radio personalized for you. The best of public radio and us. The NPR app has your favorite podcasts, even your local public radio station and the world's biggest stories. Size-wise, these are the biggest stories. It's going to be hard to get from one side of the story to the other in a single day. So you're going to want to pack snacks and something to sleep in a change of clothes. Bring a charger. Attempt to traverse these almost intermountably large stories. Yeah. This is going to be huge. You're going to love it. Download the NPR app in your app store today. Exhaustingly large stories from NPR. I'm Ian. And I'm Mike. Thanks. This week on Newsmakers, Dana White, the head of the UFC. We're at a place where people can't even talk anymore. And if they find out that I'm friends with the president, I'm a mega piece of ****. I mean, I'm talking to NPR right now. Right? I talk to everybody. A dialogue with Dana White about politics, culture and masculinity on NPR's Newsmakers. Listen or watch wherever you get podcasts. This message comes from Avallera. What's it like running a business with Avallera? No thinking about tax and compliance. 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