1446 - No Blowjobs? Always on Your Phone? Bad in Bed?! Dealbreakers for Guys w/Adam

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Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to rehide your whips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous Podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow me at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because I change everyone's voices. If you have an anonymous secret, naughty story or not naughty story, but just an interesting story you want to be on the show, send me an email at StrictlyAnonymousPodcast at gmail.com or go to my website, StrictlyAnonymousPodcast.com and click on be on the show. Now, listen on Sundays, I try to keep the intro short. I'm not going to bother you with anything else. I'm just going to tell you what this episode is about. Real quick, I did a deal breaker episode with Layla last week. It was super interesting. I did it with Adam this time. I think it's even more fun guy version. Okay. I had very different questions. They're super fun and funny because you get a lot of stories. I kind of like know Adam's dating history. So sometimes I'm like, that's not a deal breaker for you because I've seen you do that shit. But anyway, we talk about everything from like, oh, what if she wants to fuck with out the lights on and what if she won't swallow? What if she cries a lot? What if she has a high body count? Stuff like that. Like kind of typical stuff. He brings up some at the end that are super interesting that I didn't pick. And they were great deal breakers and we discussed them all. The whole list or some of the lists will be in the description, but trust me, you're going to like this episode. It was fun to do for me to get the guy version of the same episode that I did last week. I feel like it was even more interesting than the girl version. So I'm going to get right to it and be right back on with Adam. Oh, hey, Adam. Welcome back to the Strickler on this podcast. How are you today? I'm good. How are you? Thanks for having me. So listen, Adam, I did an episode recently about deal breakers for women. And somebody said something in like in the comments section like, oh, there's so much like double standards here and stuff. And it's like, yeah, probably there are because I think men and women are very different. I think deal breakers for men versus women are different. I think men versus women would be answered deal breaker questions different, you know. So I am doing now a deal breaker episode for guys. Okay. They're not going to be the exact same questions because a lot of the questions for women wouldn't apply to guys, but I tried to come up with a good list of questions that I think would maybe be deal breakers or not for guys. And you're going to give your opinion. Of course, I'm going to chime in because I know a lot of guys and I kind of like a guy and I'm going to have my opinions about these things, but we're going to get your opinion first on all of them. Okay. So, okay. So these are deal breakers just so you know, not to like have a booty call or to fuck. These are deal breakers like this is going to be somebody you're going to date or marry. You know what I mean? Like this is someone like this is like relationship material. That's what I'm talking about. This is 100% relationship material. Yeah. And I'm going to mix in sex with regular stuff to make it fun. I'm not going to blow out all my sex questions, but there's sex questions. There's petty questions. There's good questions. You know, there's a little mix of everything. Okay. So she takes a very long time to orgasm or can't orgasm at all? Not a deal breaker. Not a deal breaker. Even if she can't orgasm ever. Yeah. Not a deal breaker. Why not? Because I've been with women have really tough times orgasming. So you don't care as long as you get your orgasm? Well, that's not, that's, hold on a second. That's, it's not fair. I'm just happy to work with them. I'm not fair. Daven you see the comments? So I'm not saying that's what I want. Okay. But it's not a deal breaker. No, no, no. Listen, let me ask you this. This is like more fun than doing the girl one because I feel like I could figure you out as a guy. Let me ask you this because I feel like as a guy, the reason, you know, I'm thinking from my girl brain, like how could that not be a deal breaker? It would kind of be for me if some guy was never going to orgasm with me, that would be a deal breaker. But I think for guys and tell me if I'm right, is it because like, because I always believe this, and I always say this and I forgot about this, is that like guys love a fucking challenge, right? Like there's something about their ego that's like, okay, they might get a girl that can never orgasm, but their ego is going to say, oh yeah, well, I'm going to make you fucking orgasm if it takes my whole life. Like it's, it's seen as a challenge. And then their ego will feel so great that they're the one that got it. So you don't see it as a deal breaker because it gives you something like, it's like a challenge for you to be the guy to give her, her first orgasm kind of thing. Is that, is that why? I would say that that's definitely part of it. Yeah. I think it's nuanced, but that's definitely an element of that. Yeah. Like, oh, I would love to be, yeah, like I, let me see, because I, you know, I think of myself. I mean, whoever- No, because you just said- Because I think of myself as bad at sex, right? No, no, no. You know, no, no. No, I don't know it because you're a guy and you just can't attach to your feelings to know. That's what it's about because you know what you said exactly when I said that's on a deal breaker. You said, no, I could work with that, meaning you could work to make her better. That's what it is. And that's how it should be. That's how guys are. I like that guys are like that because all I have to do is tell a new boyfriend because I love oral sex. Like I want them to go down to me for like 16 hours while I read the newspaper. Do you know what I mean? So I know all I have to do is tell that guy, just lie, you know, and be like, hey, listen, by the way, no guy has ever made me come from oral sex. And I know that he's going to not be upset. He's going to be like, oh my God, I can't wait to go down on you the whole night and give you an orgasm. Do you know what I mean? That's how guys are. I tell guys no one's ever made me squirt. And these poor guys are like literally getting an arm workout trying to make me squirt. Because they want to be the one- You're letting all your secrets out, Kathy. Yeah. Well, this is how girls are. It's all girls. It's all guys. Okay. She has cellulite. Hot body, right? Hot body. Definitely not a deal breaker at all. In fact, I like, I mean, a good nice curvy girl. Yeah, I'm all about it. Yeah. Because typically it comes with a very curvy girl, right? And this is the reason why I have that one on and I added that one on is only because I know for a fact that guys don't give a shit, right? And it's not a deal breaker, but so many poor girls out there with the hottest bodies ever think that guys do, right? Like they really do. They're petrified of their cellulite. No guy gives a shit, right? Do you guys care about cellulite? I don't. I mean, it also depends on, you know, how you carry it and how you carry yourself. No, but like she has a hot body, right? She's very curvy in the places that works, but because she's curvy, she has some cellulite. Do you fucking care? Absolutely. I gotta tell you, no, I don't care. And I gotta tell you the curvy girls who own it are the best in bed. That is what I have found. I have found that they are just, they're like, this is me. I'm big and beautiful and holy shit, those are the best. Oh, I like that. The hands down, they're the best. I like that. I love that. And you know, I used to have this girlfriend of mine who by no means was like drastically overweight, but she, you know, she had body dysmorphia. I thought she was like so obese. And I used to show her pictures of like musicians, like, you know, musicians or famous people who had her exact body, but were like dressed to the nines and feeling so sexy and strutting around like I'm fucking hot with the same body that she had that walked around so insecure and petrified and hiding her body because she thought it was so bad. And it really is how you carry yourself. I used to be like, look, this is your body on this same girl and she fucking thinks she's hot and she is hot. You know what I mean? She's walking around like I fucking got it and she does. Yeah, it really makes a difference. It's all about attitude. Yeah, totally. Okay. She's, this is like a question for guys. And you know, I just want to tell everybody that I did like throw these to Adam before. He's like, I don't know about like why you don't have this question, but I want to. She's the type of girl that like burps and other things in front of you, like has no problem hiding that kind of shit. Never experienced that. Okay, but pretend. Let's pretend. No, but let's pretend. I'm going to put you in the pretend situation. No, listen, listen, I would not have to set up the situation. Okay, listen, you, I've known you through a lot of girlfriends and girls that you tried to date and stuff. And so I know you for like girls that you've liked pretend one of those girls that you were like instantly attracted really fucking like them. Okay. And they now like you, but like maybe three weeks into your relationship, you know, you're like, you're like hanging out with her. She's been at your house all weekend and she's like burping out loud in front of you. Like, is that going to be a, are you going to be like, what are you going to be like? What the fuck? I mean, if everything else is great, I'd say no. Okay. If everything else is great, I'd say no, not a deal breaker, except I would imagine someone who does that has a lot of other things I would like to. Totally. That's, I agree. Okay. But you know, listen, I remember watching Jessica Simpson, who was like the hottest bitch in the eighties and she had like a reality TV show and she was literally like a scale of one to 10, like a 15. And she was like the type that burped and did all that shit in front of her guy. And you were like, what the fuck? Same with Jenny McCarthy. She was that girl that was like, so like a guy's girl, you know what I mean? She was just like, and I'm kind of like a guy's girl, but I don't, I don't like this kind of things like, uh-uh. But like Jenny McCarthy was the same way. Like there's a lot of hot girls that like own that shit too. You know what I mean? So it would be a deal breaker. Okay. Okay. Where were you saying? I was just saying, if that's literally the only thing, then that's not a deal breaker. But like I said, it usually comes along with other stuff I won't like. So yeah, it kind of goes with this like, okay. So I had on here, like, because I like last time I've been going through a very stressful time and I have a lot of work on my back and I'm like, literally I have time for nothing except what I'm doing right now. And my nails have taken a fucking hit and I never have nails that look like they've taken a hit. They're always done perfectly. And I said to my son, I'm like, and I showed him my hands. I'm like, don't ever date a girl that has these nails because that means she's not taking care of herself. You know what I mean? Like I just feel like how your nails look says a lot about how you are in your life because like, listen, I'm very busy all the time, but I still always have time to do it. But like in my worst time, most stressful time of my life, it's like the thing that goes out the window. So if a girl is just rolling around with bad nails all the time, what does that say about her? Would you care? You're on a date with a girl, a hot girl, everything about her. She's really faking it. But while you're eating, you look down and you see her nails and they're like a mess. Half nail polish chipped and she's on a date. So that's that's a girl that's like always that way. She's rolling that way. How do you feel? Deal break up? Well, again, it depends if it's a high, if it's a hygiene thing, right? If it's dirty fingernails and gross, then I don't like it. But if it's chipped, that's like, because I mean, I do a lot of outdoor sports and women always have chip nails. So that's not a big deal, but it's the hygiene. If it's dirty, if it's unkempt. Well, I heard somebody. Yeah, I heard somebody. The chip nail is not a big deal. Well, not a chipped nail. Dirty nails and not trimmed is not just dirty, like half nail polish on all of them. Not one chipped from surfing with you in the daytime. Okay, I'm talking about like all of them. Like I used to have a friend who like her nails were constantly chipped. Like she, you know, put nail polish on two weeks ago and never took it off. You know what? I think it depends on how hot her hands are. I look at women's hands. Oh, interesting. There's something about the hand, right? Okay. And certain women have sexy hands and certain women don't. And if you've got a sexy hand, the nails are almost irrelevant. Okay. Well, I did hear on a podcast, somebody said to her daughter, she's like, Oh, my mom used to always tell me like if somebody has like, you know, not if their nails aren't done, then their underwear isn't either. Like their underwear is dirty, like dirty nails, dirty underwear. Like, you know, like, it's like that's how you could judge somebody. So yeah, hygiene. It's just hygiene. And like, that's if you dirty nails, that's an indication that you, you're not a hygienic person. That's gross to me. Okay. That's a deal breaker. Okay. Hates or ill either I don't want you to go down on me or I will never go down on you. Yeah, that's a deal breaker. That is a deal breaker. Right. Because you like blow jobs and you like to go down on girls. Yeah. So either one would it be. Okay. Okay. She rolls up. Yeah. Honestly, if she just loved going down on me, but hated me going down on her, that wouldn't be a deal breaker. Okay. That's good. Break that down. Okay. What about the opposite? So it's really if she didn't blow you. Yeah. I love oral sex. I do love going down on women, but you know, if I think I certainly love them going down on me more than I'm going down on them. So, um, which would be the deal breaker. The deal breaker is she doesn't like giving oral sex. That's a deal breaker. Okay. That's oral sex is such a big part of, and if she didn't like me going down on her, that's on the edge of deal breaker. Okay. Interesting. Okay. So as long as she will give you had, you're fine with not giving her head, but if she, right, if it's my preference, but yeah, but I could live with that. If everything. Right. That's not that. I could live with that. Okay. I like that breakdown. Okay. Has like rolls up, you know, you've taken her on a couple of dates. You drove or took an Uber. She drives, picks you up, her car is a fucking mess. And you go back to her apartment. It's a mess. She's messy. Yeah. Massy. Yeah, deal breaker. How come? I'm a really neat person and I just, a messy apartment just. Right. Because you do know you're going to have to live with that person. Yeah. It's uncomfortable. And it's, yeah, that would be tough because that over time is going to just eat you away. It is. It's just going to, and you're going to breed resentment over time with something like that. Yeah. Not only that, I believe. Okay. I do believe. Like I have a saying, like you are your car. Like I'm sorry. Like if your car is constantly breaking down. You're such a Jersey girl. No, no, no, no, not you are your car. Meaning like if you drive a Mercedes, you're hot. I mean, if your car is always breaking down and is always at the shop and you're always crashing it and it's a fucking mess, that's how your life is. Like your life is reflected in your car. If your car never needs, is perfectly fine, you're perfectly fine. But you know those people that always have car trouble. That's always in a car crash. You had a girlfriend recently that had a car crash. I'm like, that's a little weird. That might be a red flag because people like older people like should not be having those issues and it's a reflection to me of your life. You're the person that's always at the fucking mechanic because your car is always breaking down. Something's going on in your bigger life. That's what I mean. So I think messy car, messy life. Sorry. When I said you're so Jersey, I grew up in New York City. So we don't even think about cars in this, in this, in this. Well, no, most people, I know I live in New York City, okay, but I actually do have a car because I have a son, so I have to. But most people that are listening have cars, okay? We're like the minority, okay? So I mean, don't laugh at my fucking questions. I'm talking of normal people. I will laugh. Normal people who grew up in suburbs. And by the way, you have a fucking car, Adam, okay? And you live in Brooklyn. Tons of people in Brooklyn have cars. You're not like in Manhattan. So don't lie. I'm just saying I don't think about it in relevance the way you do. That's all. Okay. Well, if she has a car and it's fucking messy, okay? I'm just saying heed the warning. I think you are your car. Okay. Where's, okay. Where's a lot of makeup? Yeah, not a deal breaker. Okay. Do you actually like that? Because some guys, I feel like some guys actually love that and some guys actually loathe that. I don't have a strong opinion on it. If it's like a Tammy Faye Baker kind of thing, I'm like, gross. No, no, no, no. No, she looks good. I mean, if it's, you know, I've seen women look great with makeup. Yeah. It's, yeah, it's not a thing for me. Okay. One way or the other. No, no strong opinions. As long as it's done tastefully, if it's done gross, I'm like, please. No, of course not. But I'm saying like just a lot, but because like I had, I remember I had a boyfriend that was like hated girls that were like very done up. It just wasn't his type, even if they look good, you know, and I do feel like some guys roll like that. What about where's no makeup at all? Natural girl. Again, not a deal breaker. No, I mean, if she looks good, great. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I know, listen, I know that some guys would be rolled the different. Okay. Yeah. Is constantly on her phone. Absolute deal breaker. Absolute deal breaker. And there's a lot of girls like that. My girlfriends, some of my mom friends, I'm like, you're so fucking rude. Like at the moment the conversation subsides, you get on your phone and look, I'm like, okay, you're not really interested in being present. Okay. So listen, if you and your partner are the kind of couple who have tried most sex toys out there and you're looking for the next best thing, well, then you need to check out motor bunny. Motor bunny is a sex saddle machine. You sit on it, you straddle it, you angle it and you enjoy it. Okay. It is known as the most powerful vibrator in the world. But what makes it perfect as a couple's toy is everything they have that goes with it. They have attachments for men and for women and they even have an attachment that is made for couples called the power couple attachment. 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I remember I set up my girl, one of my girlfriends with one of my guy friends and he was so turned off because while they were at dinner, she was like as they're talking and everything, she was constantly picking up her phone and looking at it. Yeah, absolute, absolute deal breaker. It's garbage. If you're someone who can't put your phone down when you're having a conversation with someone, then you're not interested. I'm totally not interested. Yeah, it's funny because as a woman, I once had a guy friend who was and I would only go out to dinner with him because he likes steak and I like steak and he would take me out for steak. And so he'd be at steak all the time for like 10 years. He was constantly looking at his phone while we were eating, but he's like CEO, Fortune 500 company guy. So I'm like thinking, you know, I would never think twice about it because he's on his phone like fucking doing business. You know what I mean? So I'm assuming that for 10 years, I never say one word to him, only him. I would say something to you because you don't even work anymore, but to him because he's running these business. I'm like, I'm not going to fucking care that he's on his phone. Of course, you know what I mean? That's how he's paying for my steak, right? So fast forward 10 years. One day he makes out with me. Now we're banging and we're together and he starts fucking sexting me and he starts sexting me all fucking day long morning, noon, night. He's on meetings. He's in fucking conference call meetings with heads of states and countries and he's sexting me at the same time. And I was like, oh my God, this past 10 years I've been thinking while he's with me at dinner, I'm not getting pissed at him because he's on his phone always because he's obviously doing business, but no, he was probably fucking sexting because he was a sextalolic. Constantly. That's what he was doing. And I always thought it was work. So I think it's annoying for guys too. Absolutely. Look, and my whole thing is if there is a work thing, I say, hey, I'm really sorry. I might get a work call that I have to take. I got to keep the phone out just in case. Like I'll say that. And if someone says that to me, I'm like totally cool with it if they prep me, but someone who's just the phone is distracted. It's like, come on, you're here. If you're not interested in being at dinner with me, then don't be at dinner with me. Put your phone away. Yeah, unfortunately. I'm a deal breaker. Yeah, because it's like people are not present. Like I'm a very present person when I'm with somebody. I'm like right there with them. My mind isn't anywhere else, but we all know those people. And actually I feel very uncomfortable around that kind of energy, like the energy of people who aren't present with you and just relax and listening like their feet are not on the ground. Like that's irritating. Okay. She can I add one in? I want to add another one with the phone. Social media. If you're some, if she's, if she's on social media a lot, that's a deal breaker for me. Someone is addicted to social media. I know. Get off of it. Totally. Yeah. It's such a waste of time, especially because like I always think about it. And I think I said this on laylist thing. You know, I have to do it for my work. I'll do a posted day for the episode, you know, just to keep my Instagram account going and my ex going and stuff. But I think sometimes think to myself, because I have my mom friends that are constantly posting. I'm like, those people are doing all this work actually more because they're doing videos of themselves and cutting it and making sure the lighting is good. They're doing all that for likes. Like what a waste of time. Like does a like mean that much to you? Like why would you do that for free? Like there's no reason. It's such a lot of work for nothing. Like what are they doing it for? Likes? Like who cares? Be present in the moment. It's just yeah. Yeah. It's a substitute for real interaction with people face to face. And I just I can't. I know some people it's their life. Great. That's just not it's a deal breaker for me. Okay. Is Harry down there? She's never gotten lasered like most girls or vice versa. She's totally lasered and she's never going to have a bush and you love bush. I don't know. No, I do not like bush. I do. It's way more fun going down on women under shaving or clean or just maybe just a little patch. Yeah. I that's that's a tough one. But you do know that there's plenty of guys that like bush, right? I know. I do. I have heard of them. Yes. Yeah. My same guy, the same guy, it was Jim from the gym, J.I.M. from the G.Y.M. He hated girls with a lot of makeup and he loved to bush. He was like a really interesting gym because he was like look like the most vanilla beefy muscle head, you know, captain of the football team guy. And but he was freak. He was freaky. So you don't care. You don't care. And you would prefer it. I do care. No, I do care. I prefer shaving. Oh, yeah. I like oral sex and it's just way more fun going down on women without a bunch of hair there. What about really hair? Like she's, you know, you live in Brooklyn, so you're going to come across these girls. Like, you know, they don't shave their armpits because that's just the way they roll. Yeah. Not a deal breaker. Of course not. As long as you're shaving, as long as the human care is shaving, I'm okay with it. So you're okay with rolling with like armpits with hair in them? I mean, here's the thing, right? Someone with that much hair in their armpit, there's other things. If that's literally the only thing, yeah, not a deal breaker, but generally, if you've got huge hairy armpits, you got a huge hairy bush, you got huge hairy legs, your hair, you're unkempt. It's not, no, but sometimes it's not an unkempt. I trim my underarm hair. I don't shave it, but I keep it trimmed so it's not outrageous. Right. But there are hippies. I'm just saying it's not an unkempt thing. Like there are some hippie-dippy people who don't shave their armpits. I have girlfriends. I live in New York City. Like New York City and Brooklyn is filled with people like that. It's not an unkempt thing. I haven't seen one in a while. Madonna. I actually haven't seen, I haven't been with a woman in a while who didn't shave. Madonna never had, always had hair in her armpits. Like it's like a cool thing to do. You know what I mean? That's what I'm saying. So you wouldn't care about that, but just hairy vagina is not good. Yeah. That's the one I care about. If it was only armpits, I'd be like, sure, whatever. Okay. All right. Is overly dramatic. We all know those girls. God, yeah. I can't do that anymore. No. No, that's a deal breaker. Yeah. Overly dramatic is the deal breaker. Everything's a drama. Everything's a crisis. Yeah. Right. Okay. This is kind of similar. She's really great in bed. Okay. Like one of the best ladies you've ever had. You have total chemistry with her, but out of the bedroom, she's like a dad. Yeah. A deal breaker. I mean, for a long-term relationship, yeah. And since that's what we're talking about, deal breaker. I need someone I can fucking interact with and go and have discussions with and sit over breakfast and discuss stuff with or go out with and engage in conversations with. Total dud out of the bedroom. Yeah. It's not going to, it's not going to fly. Okay. What about the flip side? This is a slightly different. She's really fucking hot, has the hottest body, but she's like a dead fish in the bedroom. Like just totally no chemistry. Starfish. Yeah. No chemistry. Well, no chemistry, but she just lays there. She's terrible in bed, but she's very pretty. Yeah. Yeah. No, I need someone who also is engaging in the bedroom. I need, yeah. That would be a deal breaker. Okay. She has a bob haircut or really short hair. No, I don't care. I really, because some guys don't like girls with short hair. You know what I mean? Like, I'm sorry. There's like the cuntie bob. That's not. Look, I prefer, I prefer long. But I, it's not a deal breaker. Well, I'm just going to tell girls out there if there are girls listening. Like I have a saying and it's like real friends don't let their friends get bob haircuts. Okay. There's nothing worse than a fucking bob haircut. Sorry girls that listen to my show. I love you, but if you have a bob haircut grow that I fucking hate bobs. Okay. I, by the way, and this is why. It's a deal breaker for you. It's the word. I think women like it and fashionistas like it and magazines like it, but guys don't fucking like. I think it's the most some, but listen, there is a certain type of person that looks fucking hot in a cuntie bob. Like Angie, what's her Angie Dickinson? Angie Dickinson had that like white hair bob and she's like sexy hot. It works for her, but I'm talking about the bob that looks like, like you're driving a mini van, even if you don't have kids, you know what I'm saying? That kind of bob is so unattractive. And I, when I was like 40, I hit a midlife crisis. 40 for women is bad. It's like 50 for men. And, you know, I got really stuck on my age for like that year because it was like, oh my God. And I cut all my hair off. I've always had long hair and I got a bob. Oh my God. Oh my God. But you know, my mother said to me, she was like, oh my God, I love your hair. You finally look your age. Oh Jesus. I was like, I was going to kill myself. I wouldn't even walk to the deli. My hair looked like a bell. I was like, I look like I have like a drive a mini van, but I don't have kids. It was the worst haircut of my life. I fucking hate bobs. I remember going to a wedding and I saw so many friends that I'd seen in so long and not one person said, my hair looked good. They all looked at me in horror. Like what the fuck happened to your hair? Okay. Okay. She's rude to the wait staff. Yeah, that's not nice. I don't like people who are rude to a service personnel. You know, I've been a service personnel before and it's just bullshit. But yeah, that's, that's, that's also, that's indicative of other issues. If you're rude to wait staff, there's other issues going on with you that are going to be, bad. So that's probably a deal breaker. Someone who doesn't understand the right way to interact with people that are servicing you, they are serving you. It's, that's no good. Okay. She takes a very long time to text back sometimes not just hours, but like she'll text back a day later, two days later. You better answer this. I love a hard time having a relationship somewhere. Wait, no, no, I'm cutting you off. I'm sorry. Sorry people for me jumping on him because I know your history. So answer this one wisely. Okay. Because I know. Oh, yeah. But what you're, what you are asking is for a long-term relationship, is that a deal breaker? And for a long-term relationship is when I'm just getting to know someone, it's not a deal breaker. I'm learning them. But if that continued as we got closer, yeah, that would be no good. Right. So, so does a guy like, cause like to me, it's very obvious if a girl, you take her out, you make out with her, this happened to you, you make out with her, have a great night, and then you text her when you get home or the next day, and she blows you off and never texts you back and you have to text her a week later. Like, is it, do you not think like, cause like it's so obvious that girl's not into you. That's what a girl, that's what, as a woman, that's, you know, for me, that's how I feel about a guy and I would never text him back. But like for you as a guy, is it like that whole ego thing? Like, do you see it as now a challenge? Is that why you'd actually like go back and text that girl? Is like a guy sees that a little bit as a challenge? Cause guys are, I think maybe a little bit different in that. And some people, or maybe it's human nature, you want what you can have because it's girl that what doesn't text back for two days, three days, maybe she's just not that into you. So here's, here's why, and this is really interesting. Yeah. When I was in my 20, I told you I was really into older women when I was in my 20s. Yeah. And so I was dating women in their 30s and 40s. And it was great cause they really taught me a lot about sex and also a lot about relationships and a lot about women. And one of them gave me a great piece of advice that has been invaluable to me. Was this, cause I was trying to, I was someone I was, I was interested in. Way back when, and she didn't call me back or whatever. And she said, you always try a second time, but no more than two. Okay. That was, she said, always try. If she doesn't respond, give her a week, try again. If she doesn't respond to the second time, then she's done, but always try to. Cause she said, you don't know what's going on in their life. No, you kind of do. But you know, she could have died or got in a car accident or she's in the hospital with a broken leg. Doesn't matter, but she says, always try a second time. Don't let your ego get in the way. Try a second time. And then if she doesn't, okay. Listen, you have nothing to lose trying again, but with that one girl, you did try two times. She blew you off actually two times and then you still went back to her. You did the Colorado girl. You did. No, no, no, no. She blew you off twice. You had a second date with her and she did it again. And that time she net the first time she took three days to get back to you or four days. The second time she never got back to you and you went back to her after two weeks. Okay. So yes, I know we can move on because I'm not going to get an argument with you about it. I remember everything. Okay. Won't fuck with the lights on. See, even if you're wrong, we should move on. No, I'm not wrong. No, no, no. I know for a fact that's what you did. You went back a second time. So try to remember what that woman said because I believe that. I think that is great advice. Like, because what do you have to lose? Try again. You never know. Right, exactly. But I would say 99% of the time, she's just not that into you. And then if it happens a second time, don't go back, Adam, please. No, no, it's not a second time. It's twice. You reach out twice without a response. Oh, two times after a response. I thought it was one time. No, no, it's not two times total. It's that if you send a text and you don't get a response, you know, wait a certain number of days, send a second. Obviously it wasn't texting back then. It was phone calls. But, you know, try a second time. If she doesn't respond, if you've given two, if you reached out twice and she then, then you don't. Right. But this last girl with you did twice. She, it was three times. Anyway, I'm going to, yes, it was 100%. You went on the first date with her where you didn't do anything. I'm going to tell you exactly what happened. Sorry, everyone listened to this. Okay. This is where Adam lies. And, you know, we should put someone lies on here as a deal breaker. Let me just tell you what happened. You went out with the girl. Okay. You had a great date. She talked to you for four fucking hours. Okay. It was like amazing. She told you right straight to your face, like all these really great things. This is maddening stuff for dating. Okay. We've all been there. So I'm not out of here. This has happened to everybody, right? You know, been there, done that. And you had the best time ever. And then you texted her and she didn't text you back. Okay. Three days later, I think you texted her and she said, Oh, sorry. I was so busy with work, blah, blah, blah. And then you made a second date with her. Okay. And then you went out with her again a while later because you live back and forth different places. You went out this time. She came over. You actually fooled around with her. Okay. You had a great time. You texted her. She followed this. She never texted you back. Not three days later, not nothing. Never, you never heard back from your text after you hooked up with her. Zero nothing. She never responded. You actually texted her like two weeks later and she said, Oh, sorry. I was so busy, blah, blah, blah. That's what happened. Exactly. And that's what I was like two times. And then you went out of time. I did rewind and listened to what you just said. Okay. Well, fuck with the lights on. Yeah. That's a, that's a, yeah, that's a deal breaker. Someone who's embarrassed by their body. Yeah. Cause that's indicative of her being insecure about how she looks. And you want someone who feels good about how they look, regardless of how they look, you want them to feel good about how they look, you know, body positivity or whatever it's called. But I want someone who owns, who owns what they look like. And I just find, I mean, I spent a long time since I'd been with a woman who refused to have the lights under his sex and lights on. I mean, like low lighting, candlelight, that kind of thing. Yeah. That's so good. But like so long, you don't want like fluorescent lights beaming down your, oh my God, the worst. Yeah. I'm sorry. And the older you get, the more you want dimmer. Sorry. I could turn all the lights off in my room, but because I have like huge windows, like my whole wall is practically windows, like stuff comes through, like it can never be pitch, pitch black. I think fucking and pitch black is weird. But I think fucking with the lights off, with light coming in and that you could see everything, but there's no light is perfect when you're old. Yes. Sorry. Low, very, very low light is good. Yeah. Right. That's what I think. Okay. All right. So not pitch, pitch black is a deal breaker, but low lights is fine because older women and older, the more older you get, I'm sorry, it's gross. You're a little bit more self-conscious. No one's going to be perfect in their older age. And sorry, most women are very self-conscious and they're going to want dimmer lights. Sorry, at a certain age, the way that it goes. Don't you think? I always like dim lights. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. So yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good. All right. Won't take risks. Like she's afraid of everything. I've seen this on like reality shows where like the guy wants to go surfing or the guy wants to take the girl on a boat and she's just like paranoid about her. She won't do anything. She's no fun. She's afraid of everything. Yeah. Total, total, dear breaker for me. Absolutely. You got to be a little bit of a risk-taker for me. That's the kind of partner I want. I want someone who's a bit of a risk-taker. Right. Because listen, this is what I think because like, you know, I feel like some guys who aren't into doing stuff like that themselves, like who cares, right? Because maybe they're very overly cautious and doesn't want like, I don't think it says anything about someone. It's just like the type of person they are. But I think what becomes important when you're older and should be a deal-breaker or not a deal-breaker is like, is this person, because like at the end of the day, yeah, you're going to fucking everything, but you're going to be like besties, right? You have to be besties and good friends, right? You have to be want to do shit with each other. That's the problem with a lot of relationships. They don't even like each other as friends, but that's what you want to go in with, right? So your friends, like your friend, this partner should be compatible in like doing the things that you like to do. You know what I mean? And if they're not, that should be a deal-breaker because that's what you're going to be doing at this point in time. Okay, guys, I want to talk about jazz for a second. Now, listen, I know that most guys are kind of obsessed with you know, how big their loads are, right? Even if you don't want to admit it, I know you kind of care, okay? And that's why I'm excited to tell you about Load Boost by VB Health. Load Boost is not only going to make your loads bigger, okay? It's also going to make them taste better. I have heard back from so many guys who have told me that they're not only shooting bigger loads, but their wives are saying that it tastes better. Now, listen, Load Boost is not some sketchy supplement. Load Boost is doctor-formulated and it's not only great for bigger and better tasting jazz, it's also great for prostate and sperm health. 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When you buy two months of Bluetooth Gold, you're going to get the third month for free with promo code StrictlyAnon. That's promo code StrictlyAnon. Visit bluetooth.com for more details and important safety information. And I thank Bluetooth for sponsoring the podcast. You know what I mean? It's not, you're not having kids. You're all too old for that. Like, you know, it's different when you're looking for the mother of your children and all that shit. But when you're older, I think, you know, having things in common, like to do stuff that you do is number should be a deal breaker, right? Don't you think? Absolutely. Yes. That's a deal breaker for me. Yeah. And I'm just talking to everybody else. You have to have a personality. You have to. You gotta have a personality. It's a little bit of a risk taker for me. That's my deal breaker. Because you're a surfer because you're always on a plane. You because you like to do risk taking things. Correct? Yes. She doesn't have to be my level of risk, but you have to have a little bit of an adventurous spirit is really what it is. Right. Because on your free time, you like to do adventurous things. Yeah. I like to go climb mountains. I like to go snowboarding. I like to go surfing. Right. Who knows? Or if someone says, Hey, you want to go scuba dive or whatever it is. I like to go. Yeah. I like adventures. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. So I think that stuff should be important to people, but it should. It, you know, if I was talking to somebody else that never does any of that shit, why would he care? You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Fair. Yeah. Fair. Okay. She's, oh, that was right. Oh, she sleeps really late. You know, not a deal breaker. Yeah. Right. Not a deal breaker. You could get work done. Right. Yeah. Exactly. I love having my mornings to myself. Like I write in the morning. So like if she sleeps a few hours, I can write and then go fuck her when she wakes up. Yeah. Exactly. What about she stays up really late or goes to sleep really early? Like, you know, 9 p.m. sleeper or 3 a.m. goes to sleep. Going to bed late would only be a deal breaker if she didn't cut. It's okay if we come have sex and then I fall asleep and she wants to get, like if she works at night, that's fine. But I like to go into bed together. It's okay if then after I fall asleep, she gets out of bed. But if like I go to bed alone every night, that's a deal breaker. Right. Yeah. And I think that those kinds of things are kind of important. You know what I mean? Like those kind of, because sometimes if you haven't seen each other all day, like being in bed together, like it's like a way to connect sometimes when you're really busy and maybe you haven't been able to connect in other ways, right? You know? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. So that's it. I also agree that maybe someone, because I think of the way I am, I like to like, I'll go to sleep at midnight and I wake up at 7. I need seven hours of sleep. On the weekend, I'll go to sleep at 1 and I'll wake up at 8, right? But like for me, I feel like if the guy, if I was with a guy that went to sleep at like 11 or 10, you know, and I had a little bit of time for me to just do something and not have to fucking talk to him because I do like my, right before I go to sleep time to like do my shit that I'm not talking to anybody, you know, wouldn't be bad. It would actually be good because you have a little bit of that nighttime or morning time, alone time, which I think is, there's something about really late at night or really early in the morning that has a certain vibe to it, right? That you could get like a... Absolutely. That's what I'm most creative that like 6 a.m. to like 9 a.m. Yeah. I'm just, I'm very, I love that time to myself. It's great. Yeah. Me too. I feel like there's something about that time where you feel like, you don't feel like, because once 9 a.m. hits for some reason, you feel like, I got to be working. I got to be doing something, you know? I mean, before that, you feel like you could just like sit in your silence and do whatever. That's quiet, cup of coffee. Yeah. It's great. I love it. Yeah. Life hasn't started yet. So it's kind of, and the same thing for nighttime. Like that's why I used to love my late nights because it's the same feeling at night. Like everyone's sleeping, nothing's happening. You don't have to be working and you could just like chill or be creative. Okay. She won't swallow. She'll give you a had, but she's going to stop. I don't know what girls do that don't swallow. What do they do that don't swallow? Like do they go to the, do they hold it in their mouth? Do they move like and then spit it? I don't care. You know what? Okay. Here's interesting. I don't care if you swallow. I do care if you let me come in your mouth and then spit it out. I don't care. Spit it on me, spit it in the sink. I really don't give a shit if you swallow it or not. But I do like to take your mouth off my cock. What I'm about to come is such like an anti-climactic. Oh, interesting. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So, so the women who refused to even have it in their mouth is, oh, that's, it's difficult. Well, let me ask you this. I'm like, I'd rather just have a hand job. Okay. Let me ask you this. I'm assuming you've fucked a lot of girls and you've had a lot of girls blow you out of the girls. And I think a lot of girls don't swallow. Like out of the girls that don't swallow, what's the percentage of the ones that will put it in their mouth and then spit it out or the ones that actually take it off? Because I will tell you before you tell me the real answer, because you're a guy and you know, I don't know because I swallow and I, so I've never done this. So I have no idea. My guess would be that most girls, if you don't swallow, you don't even want it in your fucking mouth. Okay. And they are taking their mouth off. Would you say the majority of girls that don't swallow take their mouth off or they let it in their mouth and then run to the bathroom? I'd say it's 50-50. Oh, interesting. That's interesting. Yeah. So, so here's interesting, right? First of all, I'd say about 50% of women swallow. Yeah. Right. And then of the 50 that don't, 50% of them will keep in their mouth. So 25% take their mouth off, 25% keep in their mouth and then spit it out and then 50% swallow. Right. That's, that's what I've found with the women I've been with. Okay. So most girls swallow. Most. Oh, half. You're right. Right. And then half in the halves. These, okay. I like that breakdown. So, so it's half and a half as far as, and like how distracting though is, so you rather them take it in their mouth and then what do they do when it's in their mouth? Well, it's 25%. What do they do after it's in their mouth? Do they run to the bathroom? Do they spit it on your side table? Spit it in a towel, spit it in a towel, go to the bathroom, run to the bathroom with it. Yeah. So the blow job better be at the end of the session because they spit it and then they come back and get on top of you. Well, usually once I come, they don't, I mean, I'm in my fifties. I need, there's a, there's a pretty long factory period at this point. Right. But what if you still have to go to, right. So she comes back and then maybe you go down on her because sometimes like the oral sex and your blow job is not the end all be all of the night. Well, I mean, look, at this point in my life, I will make sure that if they're going to give me a blow job, it's the last thing that happens, right? So I'll be going down on them or we're fucking for a while or, or, you know, she's like, not understanding having sex. She just wants to give me a blow job. Like, so generally once I come at this point, I make sure it's the last thing to happen at the night. I make sure she's all set before that happens. Okay, cool. All right. I've always wondered what people do because, you know, okay, she cries a lot. She's a crier. Yeah, that's a tough one. Have you never known girls that be big crying? Oh, no, no, I have. Okay. But it's 10. And the thing again, this post back to the thing, if you're crying a lot, there's probably other issues that's not just crying. I've never seen that being just all they do is they just cry a lot. So yeah, it's that's a, yeah, I'd say that's a deal breaker just because it usually comes along with other stuff too that is difficult. Unless she's totally like relaxed about it and laughs and she laughs at herself that she cries a lot as opposed to actually being really upset all the time. Yeah, yeah, I think you're right. I think that there are two kinds of criers. I think there are just a type of woman who cries a lot because she's just very like, she feels her feelings really quickly and easily and she's okay with them, you know, and that's a very different than like, I have a mom friend and she's actually my most favorite mom friend because sometimes the crazy people are more interesting, right? I mean, she's a little nutty, but she's my fave. But let me tell you, yeah, I'm not, I'm not nutty yet. I'm like a fucking way more together than these people that were like, then somebody that doesn't have their, I have a very fucking together. I'm crazy in a fun way, but I'm not crazy in an issue way. So this she has like, she, I have seen her like cry hysterically, like gasping for air also in front of her child, which I think is not good because like, how scared is that child to think like my mom can't fucking keep it together, you know, constantly. And she's a little bit of a head case, you know, she's, you know, she takes a lot of Xanax, she's always popping them. She's all over the place. She has that weird energy, you know, it all sort of paints the picture of that kind of person, you know, and that kind of person. I'm like, oh my God, get your fucking shit together. And the crying goes with it. Whereas like it's different crying for the person. That's what I'm talking about. Someone who owns like, oh, I cry a lot. That's supposed to something who's always really upset all the time. And that's, yeah, that's not good. That's a deal breaker. Yeah. And by the way, my friend has never had one problem, but yet I've seen her cry like 80,000 times. And I'm sorry, I've actually had real problems in the 10 years I've known her and she's never seen me cry. I don't understand. But yeah, it's a little bit of a nutty thing. Okay. Is out of work or like broke? Totally broke. Um, in general, I would say at this point it's a deal breaker unless they're like a art, like a really amazing artist who just doesn't make a lot of money. And yeah, that makes sense. That's okay. Yeah. Uh-huh. But if they're just like a, you know, like a. Lazy. Not bomby, lazy. Yeah. Not a word broke. Yeah. That's not just looking for someone to take care of them. Yeah. I added this one on because I feel like it's a little bit different for women to men. You know, I wonder, does a man really care as much about finances and any guy that thinks it's wrong that women care about that is ridiculous because we're animals and like a woman is like, and is, is born to like sort of look for a provider. Just like a man is born to look for a young hot girl to have babies with. Okay. There's no difference. So there's nothing wrong with that. But I wondered if guys care about that kind of stuff. I just, I care about passion, right? If you're passionate for art and you don't make a lot of money, that's amazing. That's fine. Exactly. Yeah. Totally fine. Yeah. But if you're just, if you don't work and you're like, oh, you know, just you bop around from waitressing job to waitressing job and never have any money or, oh, that's, yeah, that's not interesting to me. Right. So it's the same thing for men. Like it's, it's more about the job. Like that's not attractive to you. You want somebody who's like a go getter or whatever has that vibe. Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to make a lot of money, but I want someone who's got drives. Yeah. Okay. That's cool. Okay. She's friends with a lot of her exes, ex husband, ex boyfriend. Definitely not a deal breaker at all. I'm friends with all my exes. Yeah. I don't think I should. In fact, I, in fact, I prefer, I like it when someone is. It shows that they are mature emotionally. Yeah. Totally. I was going to say, okay, what about has a lot of guy friends that she's never cooked up with, but she's friends with them. Definitely not, definitely not a deal breaker at all. Right. Okay. Cool. She wants to, she's like, she's got some weird kinks in the bedroom. I'm going to just explain one that I remember my guy, Tommy once came to me and was like, Oh my God, I fucked this girl last night. And she wanted me to like put her in a collar and a leash and walk her across, across my room. You know, like this is like shit that people could be into. Now that I do my show, it's not as weird to me, but I remember when he told me that I'm like, Oh my God, he was like, yeah, it was like hot. But like, would you date that girl? Like if that's like how she rolled, like very extreme kind of sad-ish or kick. This is actually happened. This is actually happened. Oh, okay. Not, not the, I mean, first of all, dog-wish thing is definitely not a deal breaker. I've had women asked to be collared and leashed and I got no problem with that. Okay. Cool. Yeah. It's not a kink for me, but I'm happy to do it. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of fun. I like seeing how much they get turned on by it. Yeah. But I have twice had women asked me to do things in the bedroom that were two, they're beyond and I was like, nope. Okay. Let's hear them spell it. Okay. Okay. Now it's hardcore BDSM stuff. One of them, one of them wanted me to actually punch her in the face during sex. Oh, I have a story about that. Yeah. I had a guy friend and he was like, yeah, I can't do that. And then the other one while I was fucking here, she wanted me to bite through her skin to draw blood and I was like, yeah, I can't do that either. Yeah. That's hard. Right. That was like, yeah, I couldn't, I was like, nope. Sorry. And that was, and she's like, well, then I guess we're not meant to be together. I go, nope. That's a hard, I think that that's a hard thing, especially when you care. Like I had a guy friend and he was one of my nicest guy friends and he was had this like the one that got away girl and he eventually got her back. The one that got away came back and he was with her and like things suddenly like didn't work out. I'm like, what the fuck happened? Like, what do you mean? Like, because this was like his end all be all. He's like, oh, I just can't tell you. Then finally I got out with him and he said like, it was because she wanted that kind of stuff done and he just didn't have it in her. And my guy friend was like just kind. He was like one of the kindest people and I got it. You know what I mean? Once he told me, he's like, I just couldn't do it. Like cause he loved her, you know what I mean? And it's hard and it's hard because like, listen, those Kings have nothing to do with like love or anything. And that's just how they're wired and into it. But I think it is a hard thing for someone to wind up doing for somebody, you know, like for someone to do to somebody else, a person, right? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. It's just beyond what it's against my core. I can't do it. What about peeing? Fine with peeing. I've been there. Oh, you have? Fine with that. It doesn't turn me on, but if it turns them on, it kind of turns me on. Right. Okay. I got it. Yeah. I don't want them peeing on me. If they really want to pee on me, I'd be, I mean, no one's ever asked to. No, I try it. But they've asked you to pee on them. Yeah. I always talk about my one friend who told me this whole pee scenario and I was like, oh, that's kind of interesting. Like I would actually try that. Where he had this. In the shower? No, listen, no, no, no, no. No, listen to this. Okay. This was the move. And I think you're going to like this too. Okay. This was the move that this girl, my guy friend, one of my guy friends had this really crazy girl that I used to bang and she was just into everything. She got him to do everything. And so she would have this move where she would sit down on the toilet, right? And she would like spread her lips and he would pee onto her clit. And I was like, oh, I could kind of see how that could be good because you're feeling the pressure of the thing and it's like warm, right? And whatever. And I'm like, oh, I kind of like understand that I would try that. I've, you know, and I, this was like 20 years ago, I heard this and I've never tried it since. But doesn't that sound like kind of like interesting? Interesting, sure. Yeah. Well, you don't have a clit to me, but you don't have a clit. Yeah. Okay. Last question, you know, for some reason, this is something you should never do and ask a girl how many guys she fucked. But for some reason, the conversation comes up, body count. Okay. And we're going to do it both ways because every guy is different. Okay. Like, but let's do the first one that most guys wouldn't like and her body count is very fucking high, maybe higher than yours. I don't know what your body count is, by the way. No. Okay. So maybe it's, it's very high. I mean, she's not been with five guys. She's, you know, it's like a 50 or above or high. You know, she's her, she's got a high body count. I wrote a whole book about dating someone who'd been with 500 men. She was with 10 guys while you were with her in the same room one night. So how do you feel? I mean, is that a deal breaker? Obviously, obviously not. I married this one. No, no, no, I know. But before that was, it was it just her that you didn't care and you were, oh, never cared about it before? Were you always the type of guy that never cared? I would say I'm the type of guy who never cared. I'd never really come up against it before in my life until I met Jane. But I'd never really thought about it. Wasn't like, oh, I want to find a woman who's only been with one or two guys. And, you know, there's a whole scene in my book where a buddy of mine is bragging about, he's, he's the second guy this girl's ever slept with. Yeah. She thinks he's great in bed. And I'm like, yeah, you know, my wife thinks I'm pretty good in bed and she slept with 700 people. I trust her opinion on this. She's like, you know, that's a good point. It's all perspective. It's all perspective. You know, listen, a woman who's been with 500 men and she likes fucking you, you can know you're pretty good if she keeps coming back. Right. Right. Well, I think that, listen, I think you're more rare. I think a lot of guys do for some reason care about body count. And I think it's never, ever okay to ask a girl, you should keep that off the table. Maybe after you've been with them together for a long time, you know, you like her. But I do know I've had a lot of guy friends and I love to know whether they care or not. And I have had like one or two that like they actually preferred that they love those kind of girls, you know what I mean? For me, I prefer a guy that was a player than a guy that has zero. Now, is it if I met the perfect guy and everything was like great. And he's like, I've been with five people because he was like married his whole life, but I care. No, but I have no, like if a guy's been with like tons of girls and fuck the world and as a total player, I'm like, oh, that's hot because I know he's got game and he knows what he's doing and I don't have to worry about it. You know what I mean? I agree with that. No, I'm actually turned on when I find women of high body. I like, I find it interesting. It's like, cool. You're, you know, it goes back to wanting an adventurous lifestyle. Yeah. It's, it's people who are risked to like to go out there and have adventures. I, yeah, I think I'm more turned on by women who have higher body counts. I know I am actually. And I think I know I am because I've been with someone who was like, oh, I've only slept with three guys. I'm like, yeah, not that interesting. Yeah. Interesting. Okay. Do you have any that you could bring up or anything that turned out to be a deal breaker like in your life specifically that you want to end with that I didn't bring up that like you found was a deal breaker on a date or anything crazy? Um, you know, people who are really into TV as a deal breaker for me, because I'm totally not. So that's a deal breaker for me. Yeah. You know, I think that's akin to women who don't like guys who just always watch sports. Right. I think it's, it's kind of an equal thing. If you're a girl who always watches shows and not, I'm not, that's, that's not. Well, no, I think where it goes back to what, what you're saying it goes back to, because I asked Layla, like, do you like a guy that won't watch TV because I'm the opposite you. If some guy's not going to watch TV with me at the end of the day or when I want to watch it, isn't going to get into my shows with me like my friend would like, because my sister and her husband, they watch all their bravo shows together. Like it's fucking fun. You know what I mean? I would, it would be a deal breaker for me the opposite way because I believe just like for you because you don't watch shows and you don't want to watch TV. Like that's, it goes back to that whole like, you know, risk taker thing. Like you have to be with someone who's compatible to do the things that you like to do. Like I love to go to the movies. I see, I have an AMC right next to me. I walk there with my, I'm with you there. I love it. Right. But some people haven't been to a movie in 20, like, you know, me and my son just saw the Michael Jackson movie. It was so fucking good. And when I, like it was just like such a feel good fucking great movie. And I said to myself, like, can you believe like some people have never been to a movie like in 10 years and they could care less. Like there's something about being in the movies that is like so exhilarating and gives you a vibe and is nothing like watching something at home. You know, so to me, if someone had never wanted to go to the movies with me, it would be a deal breaker. If someone wasn't going to watch TV and we wouldn't have that in common, it's a deal breaker. But for you, it's the same thing. It's because you don't watch TV. So that's like a deal breaker for you because you want to spend, what do you spend your time at night doing? Okay. Let's pretend you have a girlfriend because people that don't watch TV mesmerize me. I'm like very interested in what the fuck do you do? You play your guitar all night long. Like, I mean, read Kurt Vonnegut. Like what are you doing all night long with your girl? If you're not watching, and I'm talking TV means like Netflix, a movie, something like, you're never watching TV. What are you doing at night with your girl? No, no, hold on a second. It's not never. It's just that if that's your prime directive of what you like to do at night, we're not going to get along. If you like to watch a show now and again, I'm that. No. Okay. What do you do at night? That's my question. What do you guys do at night? Okay. So like with a girl, okay, hold on a second. You have a person living with you. Are we talking about someone I'm living with or someone I'm on a date with? No, we're talking about someone you're living with. Living with? Okay. What are you doing at night? Since I lived with someone. What protects? Yeah. I'm thinking, you know, it's if I'm living with them, then every night it's going to be different, but sometimes maybe I am practicing. Sometimes maybe we are watching something. Sometimes maybe we're out on a date. Sometimes we're at the movies. It's, it's, there's no one thing. If you're someone who only watches TV at night, I'm not going to get along. If you have to have a TV or something. No, nobody only watches TV at night. But I mean, they, they, they like to watch TV. You know what I mean? Some people do read. If you don't read, that's a deal breaker. Oh, interesting. So you want to just sit there and read with your girl in bed? Not every night, but sometimes. Yeah, it's really fun. I really like that. There's got to be other boring people out there like that. Oh, yeah. Reading so boring. Using your imagination. So boring. No, I use my imagination in different ways. Okay. So you would just like read in the bed together. That's cute. I mean, let's see. Yeah, I like that. Yeah, that's cute. Every night. I mean, to me, it's like a snorefest, but I think that that's cute. Like because it's not every night. I got it. It's like, yeah. Yeah, let's both get out our little books and read together. I don't know why that's funny to me. But I think it's cute. Like I'm sure I have girlfriends that would love to read with a guy in bed. Yeah, I know. Like, I don't think you have to read like a book a week, but if you don't read that site, I find that. Yeah, that's that. It's, yeah. Okay. I love it. So interesting. Do I add one more? Yeah, please. Yeah. You know what? Here's here's saying, and this isn't like a specific thing, but it's like someone who is uptight about sex, someone who doesn't have a relaxed attitude about sex and understands that it's silly and has fun with it, could never be with someone like that. You gotta have a relaxed attitude towards sexuality. I like that because my show is all about sex. So it's so. And when you mean like that, you mean like, it's not like they have to be perfect in bed or great and breakfast. But they just got to be open minded. Like, what is it? Exactly. It's it's open. It's a loose. It's like, it's like not taking yourself too seriously, almost kind of thing. It's about, it's about a lightheartedness. Yeah. I mean, sex can be really intense sometimes and really emotional, but other times they can just be silly and fun. And and if you're someone who just takes it way too seriously, take yourself way too seriously, that's that's not going to work. You know, I want someone I can say, babe, I just need a fucking blowjob. Could we just can is that like, oh, yeah, sure. No problem. Like someone who's just light about things. Yeah. Who's who doesn't take it also seriously. That's that's really important to me. What about this? Because a lot of my girlfriends use the word, ew, when it comes to sex stuff a lot. And I know that a lot of girls are like that. Like, so, you know, you don't want the girl to be like, ew, like I can't do it. Right. No, I don't like, you know, like, yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I don't I want people who are like, okay, yeah, that's not for me, but not you. Just like, yeah, I don't want you. And I don't really want to stick my fist up your ass, you know, whatever it is. Right. Right. Right. Okay. But who could laugh about it, right? Whatever it is, who can laugh. You got to be able to laugh at yourself, especially around sex, because it's just, it's. Yeah. But I also though, the ew thing, I don't want somebody that like, I get if you're not into it, but if you start saying ew to things, that means you're a little bit uptight and not open-minded. Absolutely. And that's exactly what I'm talking about. And you know what that does? I have to say to girls listening, don't ever say ew, even if you think something is ew out loud, because then your guy or your partner, and vice versa for guys too, you know, then your partner is way less likely to be honest with you and tell you what he's really into. And you're going to find his porn search one day and you're going to be crying a lot because you're going to be like, well, who the fuck is this? It's like, well, you know, he probably couldn't tell you because he figured you'd be like, ew, you're so fucking obsessed. So you don't want to like that kind of make somebody think like, oh, I, I can't be, she can't be trusted to tell stuff to, you know. So I think you could, there's a, you don't have to be into everything, right? But you don't want to go to the extreme where you're just like, ew, that is not cool. And that puts somebody on the defensive. And that's why a lot of people are doing shit behind people's backs. Yeah. And this, this goes into the one last deal breaker before we go. Okay. And this is, this is actually probably one of the absolute top ones. Oh, good, good, good. Even if I'm in a monogamous relationship, right? And probably wouldn't be, but I might be. I never want to have feel like I have to hide my attraction to other women. I don't want to pretend you're the only woman I'm attracted to. That's a huge one. If I have to pretend that, that, that I have to hide. No, that's, that is absolutely not. You have to, and I want to hear about her attraction to other men. I think it's a bit of a turn. But, um, I, yeah, you cannot, I cannot deal with that level of no, I'm the only woman you should have eyes for. No way. I want to be able to freely say my attraction, what I like when I talk, oh my God, look at the tits on her, whatever. Like that's being able to freely express is so important to being comfortable in the relationship. Well, I think it also, that comes to like total trust because you're being totally honest because we all know deep down inside, everyone's having those feelings sometimes. Let me ask you this because I just want to know in real life, I mean, you dated Jane, but like, you know, how do you drop that with the girl in the beginning, right? Because a lot of girls, I would say most guys wish that, right? But it's not a deal breaker. So they just keep it to themselves because most likely the girl's going to be very upset if they hear that, you know, so as a somebody who is very strongly like a deal breaker for you, like how do you drop that with the girl? Do you just like one day start saying shit? Do you tell her ahead of time, like, Hey, by the way, like, I don't mind if you do this and I do that, like how do you drop that? I had a boyfriend once who was like that and I fucking loved it because it was like, we all see as girls, like we're like little detectives or at least I am, you know, no matter what guy I'm with, I could see when he checks out another girl's ass or something. You know what I mean? It's not like I don't fucking see it, you know, but they're not saying anything. You always wonder what else are they fucking thinking when this guy would be like, Oh my God, look at her tits. Oh my God, look at her thing. And I loved it. It was great because it like took away all that. Is he looking at her shit? You know what I mean? I think it's like refreshing, but and he just dropped it. He was just like that from the get go. It was there was no conversation about it. How do you bring? How do you do that with your girls? Well, first of all, I've never had to broach it because first of all, I was with Jane for so long. Forget about her. No, no, but I'm just saying I was with her. So all the people I've met and all the people and then with the book, everyone I've met in the last 15 years has come from a non monogamous world. So it hasn't been an issue for me. Oh, okay. So they're the same way. I'm sorry. What? So, so because you know already that they're open to open relationships, so you just know you. So you just start talking about it is what I'm saying. It's not about whether they're into it or not. Like, how does it play out in your relationships with other women? You just say things about other people to them over dinner? No, it's not about splirting stuff. I just it's just about not having to hide attraction to other people. But how does it play out in real life? Do you just in it with one of your new girls? Like, do you just say it like, oh, by the way, that fucking girl's so hot and she's like, oh, yeah, that's cool. Like, how have you dropped it? Yeah, I think so. It's just it's very casual and it just comes up in conversation that it hasn't been like, oh, let me broach this because it's sort of been understood with that. I haven't met a non monogamous woman in a long time just by the nature of the the circles I run in and because of the book to everyone kind of knows who I am. So, so you're not the perfect person to do. I would suggest to guys out there if you want to do it and you want to go in that way. And I think it is very refreshing and even a girl that doesn't think she's very able to handle it probably would find it refreshing and easier to I think maybe you broach it and say, hey, by the way, like, do you care? I don't know. Maybe not broach it. I think you just drop it like my friend. I don't know. I don't know. I can't give advice on this one. I don't want your advice on this one either because I just haven't had to do it. I don't want to make your girls cry. Okay. Because it could be very offensive to women too. You know, if it's horrifying and came out first, like I said, eventually I was like, oh, I don't remember exactly how I felt the first time he did it, you know, because it was so long ago. But I know that overall looking back, I like kind of liked it because it took away that whole thing, you know, so whatever. But anyway, that was a great one to bring up. I can't believe I didn't have that because that's like a really big one, you know, for sure. And interesting. So anyway, Adam, thanks for doing this. I actually feel like I did a deal breaker with Lila, a girl version last week, and I did this one. And this one was like even more fun to me to get like the guy side for some reason. It's like interesting, you know. They were little different questions, but it was like super fun. So thanks for calling in. Why don't you give a shout out to your book and your website if people want it? Sure. The book is Seek the Risks About My Marriage to Jane, probably the sluttiest woman in the world. And I say that with nothing but that. Oh, no, no, I have her episode. Go listen. Oh, OK. Yeah, yeah. Great. And so it says seek the risk.net and the book is all about that. And you can get it in paperback, Kindle, electronic, audio, everything is there. And I love hearing from people. Adam, it's seek the risk.net if you ever want to contact me. OK, yeah. And anyone that's gotten your book has always talked about and raved about how great it is. It's really for any guy that is maybe worried and hasn't sort of crossed the line and wonders how they might feel in all kinds of situations if they open up their relationship. Because how do you know how you're going to feel unless, and I feel like a lot of people hesitate and wonder. And you had said, like most people aren't going to be as extreme as Jane, right? Yeah, that was the same. But the extreme nature of her just goes to show that if you could get through that, then other people could get through other things. And how you did it is like an interesting sort of experiment for other people to take on. Because most likely, like I said, they're not going to be with a Jane, but they might be with a regular person and they might be worried, how do I deal with my emotions if they come up? And that's what your book is all about. So it's super interesting. It's seek the risk. I'll put a link to it in the description to your website. OK, but thanks for calling in. Bye. Thank you. Bye. From the co-author of Attached, the book that reshaped our understanding of anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment styles comes the new audiobook, Secure. Dr. Amir Levine's latest research shows that those with secure attachment styles feel more at ease, both in their relationships and within themselves. Learn how to rewire your attachment style and unlock stronger relationships, better health, greater resilience, and more fulfilling life. Listen to Secure on Spotify now. The world moves fast. 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Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out till August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cook queen story. There's a cook story. There's a gang bang girl story. Like I said, 17 stories and they're all told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person. And I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them, they're really short chapters. Easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format. Paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th. But you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my discord. My discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you'd get into my discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you could win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community. And you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my discord. It's private. Like I said, all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at strictlyanonymouspodcast at gmail.com. That's strictlyanonymouspodcastatgmail.com. And I will send you the link to discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. In a world of noise and uncertainty, IG is the investment platform that backs you. Take a reflexable stocks, ISA, which gives you the freedom to withdraw funds any time and replace them in the same tax year, all without losing your £20,000 tax-free allowance. And if that's not enough, pay no commission on your stocks, shares, and ETFs when you invest with IG. IG. Trade. Invest. Progress. Your capital's at risk. Other fees may apply. Tax treatment depends on individual circumstances and is subject to change.