This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human. Broadcasting live from the Abraham Lincoln Radio Studio at the George Washington Broadcast Center. Jack Armstrong and Joe Getty. Armstrong and Getty. And now, here's Armstrong and Getty. Keepers gave Punch that stuffed animal, which is from Swedish furniture brand IKEA. It sells for just under 20 bucks. Punch's mom became a popular item after his overnight fame. An IKEA store in Singapore said the plushie has been sold out since Monday. On auction sites, they're going for as much as 350 bucks. So this is a story of Punch the Monkey. We talked a little bit about yesterday that's gone national about the little monkey that was abandoned by its mom and then shunned by the rest of the tribe group. What do you call a group of monkeys? Herd. Herd. I don't know. Depends on the monkey. So Punch the Monkey is not a euphemism for anything. Oh, it is. Oh, it is. Absolutely is. Don't be knocking my hobbies. let's not let's not get these all confused but uh punch is just the name of a monkey um and so they gave the monkey a little stuffed animal and then it seemed to be feeling a little better for the companionship since its mom had abandoned it and then the tribe the monkey the rest of the monkeys had shunned it and uh it really got attached stuffed animal and now the stuffed animal is sold out because that's what we do and i don't know why and i don't i don't know why all these things happen. I don't know who you are. I feel like I don't know, have never known any of the people that participate in these sorts of things. As much, I may be the bitterest, most anti-internet trend person alive. And I've got a couple that, as I said yesterday, make me want to commit mass murder. This though, I was thinking about it. Is this just advertising? People, an enormous number people became aware that there is a stuffed animal that looks like this. And they thought, oh, that's a love letter that appeals to them for whatever reason any stuffed animal appeals to anybody. And they bought it. I don't know. Or is it a bunch of lemmings who just do what they see online? Or it's all ironically, like your girlfriend's into the punch the monkey story. Oh. And you get her the monkey. That's kind of sweet. You're a good boyfriend. Well done, sir. Or madam. Don't ask, don't tell. Unless your boyfriend ever visited Epstein Island. That's my transition. Oh, that's a good one. Hillary Clinton's going to testify. Just look at watching the news, all the different TV stations. See, there I'm looking at NBC's got it right now. ABC's got it right now. CNN's got it right now. All are reporting about Hillary testifying in the whole Epstein thing, even though she didn't have that much to do with it. I had something good on that since I just brought it up myself. I meant to suggest to the fellas, we got to have that Clinton thing like, have her say it three times in a row. It's too short. It doesn't translate as they say in the show business business. Clinton. Clinton. Clinton. There you go. A lot of people are dropping the T on Clinton if you're a young person now for some reason. Anywho, this is what's really going on with the obscene story and why it's the lead story on MSNBC all day long and it's going to get a fair amount of attention. It's both real and not real at the same time. so we're still finding stuff or news organizations are finding stuff because it was 3 million documents and thousands of hours of video and hundreds of thousands of pictures. So it takes a long time to go through all that stuff. And I think it's NPR that first found this. Now a number of news organizations are on it. There's an index somewhere in the Epstein files of all the FBI investigations that had been done. The index indicates that there were interviews with a woman, an underage woman, claiming she had sex with Donald Trump. The index says there are interviews like that. The memos regarding the interviews don't exist. They weren't released, it looks like. Like all the other ones. And there's all kinds of crap in there, as we talked about a couple of weeks ago. So they interviewed a woman to try to nail down whether she actually was at a party and saw George H.W. Bush. Now, this is harsh now. This is not for the kids. Oh, right. If a woman was at a party and saw George H.W. Bush rape a baby, then cut it into pieces with a knife, cut out the intestines, and then eat the contents of it. That's what it says in one of the memos. Now, maybe you're capable of believing that actually happened. I'm not. The FBI was not. They basically said this person is a crackpot. They couldn't substantiate any of the things the person said. But the letters... Did it turn out to be W and not George H.W.? That may be my darkest joke ever. That is. Where were we? So they hang on to that stuff doing an investigation because that's what you do. You hang on to all this paperwork, but they never pursued it or anything. It doesn't mean anything. Well, it means there's a crackpot somewhere that either said that to get their jollies or actually believes it. Who knows which this Trump thing is almost certainly the same sort of thing. It's somebody who said some stuff. They looked into it and decided there's no there there. We're not enough there to investigate any further. But including in the years, the Democrats were in charge of everything. But it looks like maybe Trump's Justice Department held back that stuff. And that doesn't look good. That's a bad look. They didn't want the George H.W. Bush memo about raping and eating a baby. They didn't want that, even though it's fanciful and ridiculous and the FBI said there's no there there. They didn't want the testimony of the woman out. So they didn't release it. Now I understand your introduction that it was both a real and not real controversy. Yeah, I think they actually held back stuff that would have looked bad for Trump, even though it's not real. Or at least it wasn't real enough to pursue as an investigation or a prosecution. Which ends up doing them more harm than good. Sure, yeah. You know, I haven't seen the information, obviously. I would be tempted to say, no, no, no, no. So, number one, we can't do that because the cover-up is always what screws you. And number two, when the media goes crazy over what is clearly a crackpot report, we can discredit them further. So, it's fine. But, again, I haven't seen the content. I'll read the AP's version, and there's lots of versions of it out there. The announcement followed news reports saying that a massive tranche of records released by the Justice Department did not include several summaries of interviews that the FBI conducted with an unidentified woman who came forward after Epstein's 2019 arrest and claimed to have been sexually assaulted by both Trump and Epstein when she was a minor in the 80s. I know people personally, well, MSNBC, for instance, they are just reporting this as if, well, this is self-evidently, he was either guilty or guilty enough that they had to hide these. I think it's dumb that they held them back and it's doing them more harm than good. I'll just read from Mark Halpern's news summary today. If the Biden administration had real information that this was a serious accusation, they would have prosecuted Trump. Obviously. Yeah, they went to extraordinary lengths to make up crap with which to prosecute him or for which to prosecute him. Yeah. The idea that the Biden administration would have held on to this information and kept it secret is. No, it's beyond idiotic. Nobody could believe it unless they were, you know, going on, leave anything going on to this particular pundit's point of view. The dirty little secret here is the identity and credibility of the accuser. The FBI apparently didn't think it was credible enough, but that will that person come forward if they're still alive. But the failure to release the documents originally is an act of either incompetence or cover up and are about to find out before too long, which it was. Why did you do that I think it probably cover up I doubt it just a coincidence of all those gazillions of documents that it was incompetence and not releasing those yeah yeah trump has you covered up a non-crime which people do all the time and it makes them look guilty yeah i know it's going to be inconvenient when it comes out but just let it come out uh trump has kind of like a dei for loyal people. People who are loyal to a fault. Even if they're not quite qualified, he keeps them in place. And I get it after the first term and his ill treatment by the media and the swamp and the rest of it. I understand it to some extent, but yeah, some of his folks I don't think are serving him well. They're not the sharpest tools in the drawer. Well, they might have thought with millions of pages nobody was going to catch on to this. But people are still digging. And there's an index that references these documents and now they're not there. You handed your opponents a good weapon on this one. Unfortunately. Speaking of handing people weapons and using them, we're about to be at war with Iran. Why don't we talk about the very last round of talks that are happening today. What we're asking and what Iran is saying about it. Here's a hint. No blanking way there's an agreement. Here's a good headline. Uber's set to launch flying taxis in Dubai. Well, if I ever find myself needing to get from here to there in Dubai, I will take a look. Is that coming to L.A. or any other clogged metro area? That'd be pretty cool. Until, as you're always predicting, the air is clogged with them and the deaths come fast and furious because we have no way to keep anybody in a lane. bodies and planes raining from the sky? Yes, that would be a problem. Okay, we got more on the way. Stay here. Armstrong and Getty. And finally, Bloomberg published an article this week on the cheaper cuts of beef Americans are consuming amid rising prices. You know what that means? The McHuff is back! The McHuff! On a more serious note, U.S. Envoy Steve Whitcoff and Jared Kushner are entering a crucial round of talks over Iran's nuke program today. They are coming with tough demands, according to the journal, under pressure from hawks in the administration. Republicans in Congress do not agree to a deal that could be criticized as soft. That's an interesting way to characterize it. I would characterize it as you don't want to agree to a deal that doesn't work and ends up with Iran having nukes. Damn liberal journalists. Anyway, in the talks now underway in Geneva, the U.S. negotiators are expected to make clear Iran must dismantle its three main nuclear sites. Fordo, you may recall that, is a smoking wreck, a hulk recently. Natanz and Isfahan. So they need to dismantle those three sites and deliver all of their remaining enriched uranium to the U.S. So far, the Iranians have said, ironically, pound sand. And I would imagine with some pretty strict and real, you know, getting in there and looking at the sites and all that sort of stuff, inspections. In a way that they, you know, oftentimes we've agreed to inspections and then you let them slide. Which sucks. Yeah. Yeah. Iran, of course, is warned it would treat any attack, however limited, as a trigger for an all-out response. Spicy times. So, speaking of the international scene, Americans are leaving the United States in unprecedented numbers. And we'll tell you why coming up later on in the hour. People like Rosie O'Donnell and Ellen DeGeneres? You mean that kind of leaving the United States? It's more economics. Okay. I can't wait to see the leaks start to come out on the grill and Hillary Clinton. Oh, we also need to talk more about the attack on that boat that was headed to Cuba and what's going on there. And Marco Rubio is being a grown-up, one of the few grown-ups that left that seemed to be in the world, saying, well, we're going to wait until we get the facts, and I'll comment on it after that. No, no, that's not what you do. You jump to an assumption. Yeah, yeah. Who knows? The realm of possibilities for what might happen coming out of this are enormous. Virtually anything. and yet inaction is its own action. So we'll all find out together, I guess. So do we have time for this? Yeah, I guess we do. In its 250th year, America, land of immigration, becoming a country of emigration. Last year, more people moved out than moved in for the first time since the Great Depression. Now, part of it is immigration, obviously. Yeah, wait a second. How much of it is then? A significant amount, but I wouldn't get hung up on that statistic. America's own citizens are leaving in record numbers, replanting themselves and their families in lands they find more affordable and safe. Yeah, actually, they mentioned in the cobblestone streets of Lisbon, so many Americans are snapping up apartments that the newest arrivals complain. They mostly hear English, not Portuguese, in their neighborhood. I know three families going to Portugal. One's already gone, two are headed. Wow, that's crazy. I know. One of every 15 residents in Dublin's trendy Grand Canal Dock District was born in the U.S., which is a higher percentage than the Americans born in Ireland during the giant 19th century potato famine influx of Irish people. So we're in, we're, they got to have an Alice Island or something over there for all the Americans flowing into Ireland. In Bali, Colombia, and Thailand, the strains of housing American remote workers paid in dollars have inspired locals to mount protests against a wave of gentrification. So it's a lot of remote work is one factor here. But also real estate prices have climbed so fast in the U.S. You sell your place in the U.S. You realize all of that on-paper wealth you've accumulated. Then you go to a country that A, is much cheaper to live in. B, is a little more like America used to be in that every town has its own stores, is more laid back. There's no strip mall hell. You get a nice place with a nice view. You sip coffee down at the cafe, and it's a pretty nice lifestyle for a lot of people. That's it. Some people are trying to characterize it as, what do they call it, the Trump exodus or something, but it's not. No, no, no, no. Man, I just, I mean, I'm not built the way other people are built, but the last thing I would want to do is go somewhere where everybody in the neighborhood in this foreign country is from the United States. I just, I don't know. That's not what I want. I would like some of each. Here's this gal who moved to Yucatan, Mexico in 2024. And she has a company that organizes scouting trips for clients. When they started this in 2024, they organized three scouting trips. This year it will be 57. Wow. Our goal, she says, is to move one million Americans. Holy cow. Here it is. Some commentators have idiotically labeled this wave of American immigrants the Donald Dash. Blah, blah, blah. But it's not. Yeah, one of the Portuguese families that I know specifically are leaving because the country is so awful under Trump. Or that's what they claim. They're crazy people and silly. Although there are a handful of European countries that I've been to that I would live there. I would willingly live there. Absolutely. They're just extremely pleasant and laid back. Well, yeah, to me, that's not the problem. So it's, am I going to live that far away from my kids and then try to figure out how often we get together and all that sort of stuff? That's the main reason I don't, right? We don't. Too much family. Too many ties here, but I get it. What did you have next? You have something good. Oh, well, we were going to talk about that absolutely horrific release of a child rapist. He raped children over and over again. And Gavin Newsom in California are going to set him loose for the worst of the woke reasons. It's really, really maddening. Stay tuned for that story. Armstrong and Getty. If he gets out, you know, who knows if he'll do it again. You know, I was told that he fantasizes still about, you know, children and stuff. Like, why would you let this man out if this is what this man is saying? You know, when he gets out, how do you not know if he will continue? He's a serial sex offender. And it is a description of a California child molester once described by a judge as quote the monster parents fear the most David Allen Funston who a Sacramento County jury found guilty of 16 felony counts for a series of abductions and rapes of children involving children younger than seven. He received more than 20 years in prison, plus three consecutive terms of 25 years to life. consecutive. So three life sentences? Well, 25 years to life. Wow. You gotta be a bad guy to get that. After serving more than two decades behind bars, he became eligible for consideration under California's elderly parole program. Let me cut to the chase here. Gavin Newsom and the progressives in California, and Gavi by the way says, well I'm against releasing this guy, Gavi has enthusiastically endorsed every single piece of legislation that has led to these monsters being turned loose on the streets. Monsters of various sorts. So now he claims he's against it. That is hypocrisy of the worst sort. But anyway, the woke in California have come up with half a dozen different ways to turn everybody loose from prison they can. Whether, oh, you're just in prison because of your race. You're just in prison because you're transgender. You're just in prison because of whatever. You're old. We should turn them loose too they're trying to empty out the prisons and this guy is just a particularly egregious case of my god how could we even consider that long time friend of the armstrong yeti show sacramente is sacramento county sheriff jim cooper weighing in there are some folks that deserve a second chance in life someone that does these type of things they don't deserve a second check a second chance in life what are we coming to as a society here in california that it's okay with this, to let him out. Well, you're ignoring science if you give a second chance to someone who rapes and abducts children. Their brains don't work. They don't get better. They don't at some point say, oh, it's youthful indiscretion or whatever, like some crimes can be. You don't get fixed. At least there's never been any science to show that you can be fixed. Whatever is wrong with you is still wrong with you. And how old is the guy that's getting out? 64. Like I said the other day, when I was young, you might have convinced me that, well, somebody who's 64 no longer has any sexual interest. Now that I'm in my 60s, I realize that's not true. So that guy's as dangerous as he ever was. Right. Coop, Sheriff Cooper, goes on. And in California, it's battle after battle when it comes to our children. A few years ago, we were fighting human trafficking of a child. That wasn't a violent felony. Had to fight to get it passed. They got it passed. Now we're dealing with mental health aversion. You can kill your one-year-old infant and get your record expunged and go work with other kids. What in the hell is going on in California? 100%, what is happening in our state? This cannot happen. It's not okay. So the Department of Corrections parole board said, yeah, we're going to turn this guy loose. Gav, GovGav, knowing, oh my God, this is going to really queer my presidential hopes, referred the case back to the parole board, board of parole hearings, for further review by majority blah, blah, blah. And at a recent meeting, the board panel reaffirmed its decision, recommending that Funston receive parole. This could be his Willie Horton, if you're old enough to remember that, with Michael Dukakis way back in the day. Yeah. They had a letting people out thing going there in his home state as a presidential candidate, and it haunted him the entire time he ran against H.W. Bush. Sheriff Cooper said he personally reviewed the original case reports and victim statements and questioned how the parole board could reach a different conclusion. And I quote, what's ironic is the parole board read the same reports that I'm reading. How the hell did they come to the conclusion that they did versus what I came to? Another friend of the Armstrong and Getty show, Kevin Kiley, the congressman who will be districted or gerrymandered out of his seat by Gavin Newsom soon, said this. I mean, this is an individual who was described at his sentencing hearing by the judge as the monster that parents fear most. The judge said there is no man on earth that is deserving of this sentence as you. He got three life sentences. He had 16 counts of kidnapping and child molestation. He had at least eight victims ages four to seven that he would lure to his car using candy and toys. He would kidnap them, abuse them, molest them, leave them on the side of the road. So this is absolutely horrifying. That is literally like the textbook worst case nightmare for parents. Sacramento County District Attorney Tian Ho sharply criticized the decision in a statement, quote, this defendant is the worst of the worst, a child predator who lures, grabs, kidnaps, and assaults children. He will re-offend and is a ticking time bomb. We vehemently oppose the early release of this extremely violent predator. This is yet another example that highlights how elder parole is a broken law that results in broken promises. and broken lives. That's a horrible story. It is. Yeah. So your thinking is that the Marxists are all for throwing open the prisons and causing chaos and all that sort of stuff. Yeah. For instance, it's a fundamental plank of the Democratic Socialists of America to decarcerate all the inmates. but the people that go along with this that just you know think they're doing the right thing how do you come to this conclusion i don't know what's wrong with your brain they're just very weak-willed the marxists hit them with a quasi moral sounding argument these people have served many years in prison now they're elderly it's if you're over 50 for god's sake and now we should look at them and and maybe see if they're rehabilitated i don't care if you're 98 if you lured a four-year-old to your car with candy, then raped the girl, you don't ever get out. I'd be all for beating them to death with a hammer, so I'm pretty hardcore on this. Well, I'd love to see you on the parole board. Yeah, what if you did that over and over and over again? The state of California wants to turn you loose. It's astonishing. I knew a guy personally who had a life sentence for murder who had it commuted, and he was 100% I was 100% okay with the fact that he got out. He'd been in for 20 years. He killed a guy at a party with a gun when he was 19. He was gang adjacent. And there was other gang bangers around. And when he was 19 years old, and he was drunk and everything like that. Anyway, he got sober in prison. he I knew him after I knew him and he was 40 years old and he got his sentence commuted by Jerry Brown for some reason like he had no idea he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life in prison with no reason to think he wouldn't and Jerry Brown commuted his sentence and he got out and he the time I spent with him seemed like a person that you know it's the classic you were young and stupid and did something young and stupid and you're not going to do that again There's no reason for me to think he's ever even going to own a gun again, let alone. Everybody who's in a situation like he was in certainly does not show a proclivity to do that. Over and over again. I mean, it's not like there's something inside of him. So I get the difference. It's the exact same human does. It's the exact opposite of people whose brains are wired in such a way that they have sexual desire for four-year-olds. That doesn't get fixed ever. Yeah, yeah. I actually have a small reserve of sympathy for a guy like that. Not ultimately, but you know what I mean. Sure. He's tortured by urges that lead him to do the most despicable things you can imagine. Will always be tortured by those urges. But I'm an adult, so I can think, man, that must suck. And you must be kept away from humans, especially children, until you are dead. It's self-evident. Gavin's got to be worried about this. And again, his protestations are hilarious. This is the fruit of the trees he planted with enthusiasm. He rammed these policies through. Yeah, man, that's a troubling story. Oh, well, I think enough folks in enough places and gavin himself the lying hypocrite are are aware of the horror of this that i suspect it won't happen but we'll see we'll let you know certainly oh speaking of crime in california gotta dig into the the head of the la uh school district the second biggest school district in america It got the FBI going through his house and combing through his records and stuff like that Yeah what going on there So, you got at least one of the women's hockey teams that has come out and said some anti-Trump stuff. Anti-the men going to the White House stuff. And why you got to do that? Just... Just shut up and stick handle. Anyway, so maybe we'll get to that. I don't know. It kind of makes me tired. Hope you can stick around. Armstrong and Getty. Duncan has begun offering iced coffee in 48-ounce buckets that have a handle, lid, and straw, which is handy because after 48 ounces of coffee, you're going to need a bucket. That's one of the reasons I switched to espresso shots. mostly for my coffee. I just pee less, but I get my caffeine. Wow, thanks. Keep us up to date. That's great. I just don't like the pee-in, though. Welcome to Hanging with Old People, featuring Jack Armstrong. Well, I don't think it's just old people. I don't think that Seth Meyers joke was aimed at just the old. 48 ounces of coffee and coffee's a diuretic. You're going to pee a lot. Like a racehorse. You're absolutely right. Quick follow-up. Jack Armstrong loves coffee. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Okay. Well, during the last segment, talking about the horrific child rapist who's going to be released, perhaps, in California, because of the progressive laws, a good friend of the Armstrong and Getty show, Judge Larry, texted, when a judge imposes a sentence like that, three life sentences, it is the judge saying, based on everything I know about the crimes of the defendant, the defendant should never be released back on the street, and that should carry much more weight than politically appointed parole board members. Amen to that. I need my alert sound effect that we use, Michael, whatever that is that we play. Yeah, there you go. Mercury is in retrograde, people. Mercury is in retrograde. What we feared the most has come to pass. I don't know much about this, but I hear people mention it now and then. And if you're into the whole astrological signs thing, Mercury is in retrograde starting today through March 20th and if you're a Pisces it is going to be a doozy this year according to astrologers do you understand what that means not the slightest I've heard it a million times well I probably have too and I could easily chat GPT if I wanted to but I don't care enough to even learn about it but it's pretty interesting to me that astrological signs still have any heft whatsoever. But they do apparently. I've talked about the online dating profiles and stuff that everybody puts their sign in there. Why? Look, I don't want to offend anybody. I do. I have 308 jihads. This is not one of them. It's all ridiculous. Your head is soft. You should wear a helmet everywhere you go. Oh, no. See, that's unnecessarily... Oh, no. Good God. I think I'm a different sign than I used to be because they changed what dates are covered. And I don't care. I'm still me. Shouldn't I have changed character completely when that was done? Shouldn't I have become a different person with a different fate when they re-jiggered the calendar? No, of course not, because it's ridiculous. Having said what I said, I did spend a good deal of my life back when newspapers were a thing, like an actual paper. I always read the comics, and it had the horoscopes at the bottom. And I always read it. I don't know why. But I always read, what's it say about Pisces today? And I would read it, you're going to have a fantastic day, blah, blah, blah. I read the fortunes in Chinese cookies, fortune cookies. But I don't take them seriously. Yes, Katie. whenever someone starts talking about this seriously I always go oh no Mercury's in Gatorade again what some excellent deflation yes that's pretty funny by the way something fortune cookie fortunes are terrible these days yeah they've gotten worse they're not a fortune they're not anything they're not a fortune I don't know what happened but they're not like humor The ones Judy and I got were something like family is where you find love. Thanks for that. What the hell? Pretty soon there'll be ads. I'm just trying to enjoy a meal, a succulent Chinese meal. I don't need you philosophizing at me. Right. I'm going to meet a tall, dark stranger. I need that sort of thing. That's what we're looking for. Give me something to laugh at, for God's sake. Whose idea was this? I've got to start a fortune cookie company. A lot of money is coming your way. Did you ever go in San Francisco? I don't know if it's still there. Maybe you know, Katie. The place that makes the fortune cookies there in Chinatown. It's like down this little alley and everything like that. And it's been doing it for 120 years or something. It's really cool. They were like the fortune cookie maker in America for a long, long time. I don't know if that's still the case since the fortunes have gotten so bad over the years. And the cookies, too. The cookie had none of that good. What is that? Vanilla or whatever? It was terrible. It was kind of interesting the way they made the cookies and fold them up like that. and they get the note in there, because that's not as easy as it sounds. Spend a lot of time going down alleys in Chinatown, Dan? A little opium, a little hooker, a little whatever. I don't know. I'm not judging. Just asking. To take a wet cookie and then be able to bend it and have it dry while the fortune inside it still does not get ruined on a piece of paper is not as simple as it sounds if you're going to start out trying to craft that today. Is that what the hooker told you? In the alley in Chinatown? God, we walked through Chinatown not that long ago, Grant Street in San Francisco, if you've never been. And my kids and I, I don't know if they'd ever, not since they were little anyway. The smells, my God, the smells. You get some duck hung by its neck in the window and it's kind of swinging around. Doesn't look too happy. Well, it should have thought of that before it committed its crimes. and then a big bucket of chicken feet or duck feet or whatever. Big buckets of raw chicken feet. It's a wet market. Yeah, I guess that's what it is. Essentially. Big buckets of feet and beaks and all kinds of stuff like that and the smells, my God, the smells. And then they're always hosing off the sidewalk to get the ooze that runs off the chicken feet, I guess. Oh, Lord. And then you got all those stores full of stuff. I can't imagine who buys that ever. How do you sell any of those things ever? I've wanted a gigantic jade elephant since I was a little kid. I walk by those stores. All I feel is lust, Jack. I always say, the thing I say with my kids always when we're by stores like that, like, you know, there's like an eight-foot golden boot or something like that. Dragon, maybe. A lot of dragons. And huge. I always say, oh, dang, I was looking for a big one. Do you have any bigger jade dragons? I need one that weighs 3,000 pounds not 2,000 pounds to take home to my house I like this one but it's a tad undersized it doesn't make enough of a statement there's like these giant gold lions as tall as me and I texted a friend I said what do you think chicks would think if I had one on each side of my bed one of these giant lions the size of an actual lion and that's a statement you're a fool I don't know how a person would react if the first time you were ever in someone's bedroom lucky enough to entice a new friend into your boudoir they turn the corner what the hell they back toward the door would you also have your giant gong in this room as well right have that at the foot of the bed because when I'm done once again success beautiful every woman appreciates that that reminds me of the internet trend that's made me want to commit mass murder it's called China Maxing we'll tell you about it next hour you're a China Maxer if you missed the segment get the podcast Armstrong and Getty on demand Armstrong and Getty this is an iHeart podcast guaranteed human
