My Family Have EXCLUDED Me From Christmas Yet AGAIN! | r/AITA Reddit

You know what you're getting with a wedding? Wedding hats. A baby in a waistcoat crying throughout the vows. Themed tables. Awkward best man speech. The plus one? Hello. People dancing in a circle. Ruin drental suit. Sometimes in life you just know what you're getting. Like a luxury bed and a great night's sleep. You know what you're getting with Premier Inn? Please, stand clear of the gap. Another morning. Another reminder there's a gap to be careful of. But maybe it's time to bridge the one between your nine to five and your dream of living life on your own terms. At HSBC, we know ambition looks different to everyone. Whether it's retiring early or leaving more for your family, we can help. Because when it comes to unlocking your money's potential, we know wealth. Search HSBC Wealth Today. HSBC UK. Opening up a world of opportunity. HSBC UK current account holders only. Hey Waffle Gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking out some more Reddit stories. And if you do love a Reddit story, why not consider and like, subscribe, maybe that notification bell too. Let's crack on with today's first story. Much love guys. Now our first story comes from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit. And it's from Snorgasm who says, Am I the Arsehole for ignoring my family after they excluded me from Christmas? Again. In that context, I 29 female have not been on great terms with my family for a long time. My mum has spent most of my life doing everything she can to tear me down. And as of now, I haven't spoken to her in almost three years. I have an okay relationship with my brother, 32 male. And I love my dad, even though he enables my mum, never stands up for me because he doesn't like to rock the boat. Until a few months ago, I lived pretty close to my parents, but I recently moved across the country and I didn't have any friends or family anywhere near my new home. I love holidays and celebrations, but no one else in my family does. When I was younger, they used to make fun of me or get frustrated when I would try to be festive around Christmas. And eventually I stopped trying. For the past decade, my family hasn't done anything for any holiday and I've become okay with that. However, my brother who lives in a different state got divorced a couple of years ago and his ex took their house. So my parents bought a duplex in his town so he could live on one side with my four-year-old niece and they could live part-time on the other. They still have their house in my hometown that they live in most of the year. But the last two years, my parents have gone up to stay in their side of the duplex for the whole month of December and they've celebrated Christmas with my brother and niece. Last year, they didn't even tell me that they were going. I found out from my dad's Facebook. It hurt that they decided to celebrate Christmas altogether and didn't even tell me. But I shook it off. This year though, they did it again. My dad called me on Christmas Eve and told me how much fun they were having as a family and asked me what I was doing for Christmas. I told him I was doing nothing. I didn't know anyone in my new city and my family is all celebrating Christmas without me. He paused like he didn't consider that. Then quickly got off the phone. He later sent me a selfie of all of them together saying Merry Christmas from Brothers State. I didn't answer. Actually, I stopped answering at all. My dad and I usually talk two to three times a week to check in but he called me once and texted me twice and I haven't answered since Christmas Eve, seven days ago. I've also not been posting on my socials and given that I'm not answering or posting and I'm all alone in a city far away, he really doesn't know if I'm alive or dead. He texted me yesterday saying please tell me if you're okay and I haven't responded. I know it's petty but I'm really hurt that I wasn't even thought of for the family holiday. Even if I was invited, I probably wouldn't have gone just because I don't want to be around my mum. But being left out entirely really hurts and having them rub it in my face in with their selfie is even worse. I've been ignored by my family for my whole life and I'm tired of trying. I don't know how to say this to my dad and I don't want to talk to him until I know what to say. I'm I the arsehole for maintaining my silence. You're not absolutely not the arsehole in this situation. Everything you said means your feelings are 100% valid. Being excluded from family Christmas celebrations twice and then getting a photo saying look how much fun we're having. Of course that's going to be hurtful when you yourself love these celebrations so much. And then your dad calling to ask what you're doing for Christmas while literally celebrating with the rest of the family is either just completely oblivious or just cruel, one or the other. You ask is the silent treatment actually going to help anything? The only vibes it was giving off as I was reading it is your dad thinking it'll maybe something really bad has happened to you. Your dad sounds like you was explaining the brother early on in the story a classic conflict avoider. Making no excuses for it, don't get me wrong. But that's what it sounds like avoiding this conflict. Don't want to rock the boat like you said with your mum. For me, it's one of these ones where I would let him know exactly how you're feeling. You know, when you're comfortable to do so that you know you love your dad, but it excludes from family Christmas twice where you're sending photos of the celebration really fucking hurts. I mean, come on now. And I'm actually considering if I want a relationship with you guys going forward for the way that you're treating me. I think you need to ask yourself what you really want going forward out of this. When they've already shown you their priorities in some ways and that sounds really fucking harsh to say, but it's just kind of the way I feel about it. But social justice says to OP, I think we might have the same family. I'm the black sheep and it saddened me for years. I tried to be a part of the family calling, sending presents and postcards to no avail. I just wanted to be loved and accepted. When one of my brothers passed away, my dad called me a week after his funeral and said, I thought you might want to know. This is when I knew I'd never be a part of this family. I decided to move on without them and live my life to the fullest. If they called great and if not great, it was like a huge burden was lifted off my shoulders. The black cloud that followed me disappeared. They are toxic and dysfunctional. Mum has a mean streak and dad is spineless allowing her cruelty. There are some mums such as mine that only honor the boys and neglects the girls in the family. You don't need this shit. Move on without them. Let the pain go. It may take some therapy to heal. You've been traumatized your whole life. Focus on healing you. Focus on the life you envisioned for yourself. Love and celebrate you. You are special. You are strong to endure such crap. I know the road you are on. The road less traveled and it is a road full of adventure twists and turns, personal growth and self love. Celebrate Christmas. Put up a tree. Decorate. Put on some music. Invite people over or just relax and enjoy the atmosphere you created. No use says, I think you should do what helps you hear the most. It is clear that your family has treated you badly and there isn't any context for this treatment. I haven't seen so many of these examples now on here and haven't seen families do this for no reason. I'm not surprised by it. If you think it will keep the police from dropping in for a wellness check, you can send in one final, I'm fine but this is my last contact. I'm done trying to find love and care for my family that has none and that includes you. Since you are a willing part of cutting me out of the family events. Goodbye and good luck with your life. Or you can do nothing. It is much to blame as the others in your family. I'd consider going no contact. It's time to build your own life and family and friend connections. I would strongly suggest therapy first. You're going to need to heal from the harm others have done to you. Then for holidays you might start with volunteering during the holidays. Decorate for Christmas. Buy yourself a nice gift or travel somewhere cool and volunteer on Christmas Day for people in the hospital or homeless shelter or a church etc. Give shape to your holidays this way. Make friends by taking classes at your workplace in volunteer spaces. You matter and you deserve to find family out there. That you make yourself. One more comment from Humoresk8 who says not the arsehole. Then adds a quote saying if you're silent about your pain. They'll kill you and say you enjoyed it. Which was from Zora and Neil Hurston. And says don't assume that your dad recognises one that you're hurt. And two why you're hurt. Whether your dad was being an arsehole or just tone deaf. Tell him what he did. Tell him how you didn't appreciate it and that it hurt you. His answer can determine how you proceed in maintaining a relationship with him. Tell him that you'll be limiting contact until you decide if you'd even like to continue contact. Then go radio silent while you get a therapist to help you unpack your feelings so that you can build a solid chosen family in your new city. Hope your year is much happier and healthier. Absolutely amazing comments there. Especially the first one. I really loved that. Especially because you know they've been through a similar thing in their past. Found themselves, built themselves up and just lived the way they wanted to. And their own chosen family if you like. But 10 and a half months later, Opie did come in with an update. And says I didn't think my post from last year was that interesting. But a surprising number of people have asked me for an update so here it is. After a couple of weeks of radio silence, I followed some good advice from my original post and text my dad to tell him it hurt my feelings that they left me out. He half apologised and life went on. A lot of people pointed out that while my family was toxic, me ignoring my dad was also pretty toxic and they were right. My family is super passive aggressive and that is the only way I'd ever learn to handle conflict. And to answer some more comments, I've been in therapy for about 6 years and after Christmas I started working with my therapist on how to do healthier confrontation. It's still not something I'm super comfy with but I'm getting better. I've also made a good number of friends in my new city and doing pretty well all things considered. With my family, at the end of the day nothing has changed. They didn't really acknowledge my 30th birthday in spring and most recently when I invited my dad to my grad school graduation next year, he told me that he couldn't commit to it right now because he's waiting to see if something that he'd rather do comes up. My brother said it'd come but he's already gone from a yes to a maybe so I don't have high hopes. The good news is that it finally hurts less because I have more or less given up on having a real relationship with them. I'm never going to be loved or cared about by them the way I want to be. I've come to accept that and now have no plans for Christmas this year. But it's okay, my family sucks but I'm really lucky in my friends and I'm grateful for that. Quot says you're ignoring them is only toxic if you're doing it as a punishment. If you're doing it for self-preservation, it's wise. Talk to your therapist about this. Opus says if I'm being honest it was more or less 50-50 self-preservation and punishment. This is something I've worked on in therapy since last Christmas though. Grace quotes saying he told me that he couldn't commit right now because he's waiting to see if something he'd rather do comes up. And then says sweet baby pickles. And Opus replies saying to be fair I'm paraphrasing there. That wasn't verbatim. His reasoning was more like well XYZ might happen or ABC might happen around that time or we're going on vacation at some point too so I have to factor that in. Still basically the same thing but less blunt. Quot says this is a sad update. So nothing has changed and you're still sad about it. Shake my head. You need to cut those fuckers off already. Op says unfortunately for those of us with feelings it's not that fast and easy to just get over something like this. There's a lot of grief to navigate when it comes to accepting the loss of a family even if what I'm grieving is just an idea. The update is that nothing has changed with my family but that I'm finally okay with it and I'm moving on. That's about as good as it gets. Not sure what else you want. The Wally-O says if you have available time may I recommend volunteering for a local charity related to Christmas. There are a lot of them that do toy shops, food for families etc. where you might find a lot of joy if you love Christmas. There could be a great way to meet new people you have something in common with. Op says I'm not sure if I have time this year because I'm in the trenches of my grad program but this is an excellent idea. If I can't do it this year I'll look into it in the future. That was with some of the comments. It is a sad update in some ways and there's some positives there at the same time for me that she recognizes the toxicity that's going on here. She's in therapy, she's making friends, she's working on herself to some points but she's also like almost leaving little crumbs of hope out for her family who just still are not showing up. I mean her dad's response to a graduation. I was just shaking my head thinking you fucking idiot. And I totally get where she's coming from when she's saying you know grieving the family that she deserved but never got. And I really hope that one day Op is able to take that full step back from her family and recognize that they don't deserve her. But I'm totally weathered at the moment in that you know healthy boundary at the minute is lowering her expectations around this because they're not going to commit for her are they? Which is incredibly sad in the end but what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below and let's move on to another story. Now our next story comes from Psychological Half 888. And the Am I the Arshole here subreddit. And it says Am I the Arshole here for wanting my husband to retire even though our adult children still rely on us financially. My husband and I are in our 60s and have been planning to retire soon. However my husband now wants to delay retirement because our two adult children still depend on us. Our son 28 doesn't work right now. He says it's very difficult to find a job in his field and he doesn't want to take anything outside of it. Because of that we currently pay his rent, food and all of his bills. Our daughter 25 lives with us and works part time. She says it's hard to find a full-time position in what she studied so we cover most of her expenses too. My husband says they both still need a lot of help that we wouldn't be able to provide if he retires. One of his main concerns is that their cars are getting old and that we need to buy them new ones soon. We bought their current cars and paid for their education. I feel at this point our kids need to learn to defend for themselves. If they need new cars they can make payments like everyone else. I want to be able to travel and enjoy life with my husband before too old to do so. So I'm either arshole for wanting my husband to retire even though our adult children still rely on us. Edit thanks so much for your feedback. I've read through your comments and take them to heart. Hearing so many perspectives helped open up a meaningful conversation between my husband and me. You've been listening, reflecting and seems to be seeing the light, which gives me hope for moving toward a healthy balance both for our kids and for our retirement dreams. I'm going to get crushed. That couldn't have gone any worse. I don't want to cry. I'm actually done with this. I'm going to go home. I don't have any confidence in your business. You're fired. The Apprentice continues Thursday on BBC iPlayer. Please stand clear for the gap. Another morning, another reminder there's a gap to be careful of. But maybe it's time to bridge the one between your nine to five and your dream of living life on your own terms. At HSBC, we know ambition looks different to everyone. Whether it's retiring early or leaving more for your family, we can help. Because when it comes to unlocking your money's potential, we know wealth. Search HSBC Wealth Today, HSBC UK, opening up a world of opportunity. HSBC UK current account holders only. For me, I think there's a huge difference between, you know, helping out your kids, even if they are adults and enabling. And I think it looks like or has been crossing into that field for quite some time. I mean, your 28 year old won't take jobs outside of his field, was it? Whilst you're paying for everything, you know, that sounds like a pretty luxury place to be. And I remember my first job. I'm not saying everyone should have had a job like me, by the way, but my first job was putting security tags on clothes. And it just kind of feels like they're in a comfortable position right now and they don't have to do anything. So they're not going to and they're just going to see what comes along kind of thing. Whereas, you know, if you tell them that I'm going to be retiring soon, it might put a little fire under their ass if you like. But Gray Blue says, sounds like your kids will work your husband into the grave. You might want to discuss that with him. Time for the kids to move out. Melissa says both of those adult kids have no motivation to do anything for themselves because you're paying for everything. Time to cut the cord. No more paying for rent or bills or cars, period. Put them on notice that it's time for the little birdies to fly out on their own. The younger one can still live at home for now, but she's responsible for all her own expenses and bills. It was your job to raise your kids. It is not your job to continually assist them financially because they're too lazy or too good for a job outside of their chosen field. You're not the asshole, but those kids sure are for taking advantage of both of you. Go travel and have fun with your husband. Once the kids know they aren't being handed everything on a silver platter, watch how fast they become self-sufficient. Edited to add, I'm loving the commenters who say they love having their kids living with them when they are paying their own way and contributing. That can absolutely work, and that's how it should be. Multi-generational homes work when everyone is contributing. Kitty-Pack Kitty-Cat says, Living at home can work if everyone pulls their weight. We have one adult child, pays one-third of the bills except groceries. Lizzie says not the asshole, absolutely wild, that you two are funding your 28-year-old's life. You guys need to cut that out. Your son needs to get over not being able to find a job in his field and find a damn job, period. Nobody says their daughter too. Added, it sounds like either your husband doesn't want to retire or is overextending his job as a provider. You have a very valid point about retiring where you can still do things. What are they going to do if your husband ends up being forced to retire by bad health? You need to keep talking. Forget a referee to help the two of you come to an agreement. The OP does come in with an update and says, I wanted to give a quick update and thank everyone again for the honest advice and tough love. My husband and I have continued to talk things through. He finally seems to understand that continuing to fully support our adult kids isn't sustainable. For them, or for us. We've decided to start cutting back our financial help gradually, reducing what we cover each month until our son and daughter are each responsible for most, if not all, of their own expenses. We plan on talking to our son next week to set expectations and help him make a realistic plan. It's not easy, but we both feel more at peace knowing we're moving in a direction that will help everyone grow and hopefully let us enjoy the retirement we've worked so hard for. Thank you again to everyone who took the time to comment. The input really helped us take the first step towards change. And a top commenter said on this one, For the 28 year old, I work at a staffing agency and can say recruiters aren't going to look highly upon a large gap in employment if his only explanation is he couldn't find a job in his field. He should try and find something relevant with some applicable skills. And if he does that for a while, they'll probably make it a lot easier for him to find a job in his field. He may not want to fully cut him off, but he's almost 30 and can't pay any of his bills. He should at least be required to get a job and cover at least the majority of his bills. 25 year old, more understandable. At least lives at home and is doing something, but would also benefit with at least finding something full-time with applicable skills so she can save up to move out. And there was lots of comments on the back of this one. Some mixed as well saying, you know, it's difficult out there at the moment. But also saying that they do need to start living their own lives. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. And let's have another story. Now, I just want to give a trigger warning before we do get into this story. There is talk of miscarriages within the story. So if you do want to skip it, please feel free to do so. Well, it'd be the last story of this video. We're just throwing that warning out there. Now let's get started. Our next story comes from the Am I the Arsehole subreddit from LisaoftheRoses and says, Am I the Arsehole for doing a group Halloween costume with my stepdaughters that their mother doesn't approve of? I 35 female and the stepmother to two lovely 10 year old twin girls who I adore. I've been married to their father 38 male for five years and we dated for two years before that. I consider myself very close to them and we always have fun whenever they stay with me and their father. They recently asked what kind of movies I watched when I was their age. So it led to me digging out some old classics, most notably the parent trap. Of all the older movies I showed them, this one was their favorite. I think they got a kick out of seeing a movie about twins. They even delighted in the fact that in their opinion, I look like Meredith Blake. It's the hair. I think no way am I as gorgeous as Elaine Hendricks. It's becoming inside joke of us with me often putting on a voice and acting the part while they fall into hysterical giggles. My husband has even gone into it and playing the clueless Nick when we get into this playful spirit. The girls are staying with us for Halloween. They alternate who has them on holidays and whoever has them for Halloween is in charge of the costume. The girls asked if I would do a group costume with them and I was touched and told them of course and asked them what they wanted to do. I should have seen it coming. They wanted to do the parent trap with them as the girls and me as Meredith. I found it harmless and agreed. My husband found it funny and said he'd even dress as Nick then. I got a call from their mother today telling me she'd heard of the costume and she didn't approve that she felt it wasn't appropriate. I at first was touched and assumed she was worried about their stepmother being portrayed as a wicked gold digger and told her it was fine. It was just an inside joke that had occurred that sparked this. This wasn't the issue. She didn't think it was appropriate for me to do a group costume with her daughters at all and that it was clearly lazy and I was forcing it as why else would her daughters want to do a costume from an old movie. I got rather upset here but I tried to stay calm on the phone and told her she might not approve but it was harmless and I'd been in the girls life for 7 years at this point. My husband who was in the room during the call could see I was getting upset so took the phone off me and began to get into it with his ex-wife. Telling her that she could have all the issues she wanted but it was an entirely proper costume for their age and it had been the girls who suggested it. Reminding her it was up to him what they dressed as this year and he had approved of it. I got him to calm down as he was getting upset and the call ended rather tersely. I just feel awful about this whole thing and I wonder if I should just bow out of matching the girls in costume if it will prevent further problems. I just know this weird bigger thing down the line. I thought it was a lovely picture that you painted with your story and you know it just shows how comfortable the girls are with you. And all I'm seeing from this is like some sort of jealousy or you know Biomarm is feeling threatened by how close you are with their daughters. And which look I would get some people would be like that we've seen it time and time again but still doesn't make it right. The girls initiated it, the dad approved it and it's happening during his time so she doesn't get really a say here right. And I think if you don't do it now what will that say to the girls? You'll be backing off from this real special moment that they chose which I think it would just be really confusing and really sad for them at the same time. So I'd say absolutely don't back down in this situation. There's nothing wrong with those costumes. But a commenter says not the arsehole. The girls mother isn't upset about the costume. She's upset that her daughters love you enough to want to do a group costume with you. This is 100% about her own jealousy and insecurity. Don't back down. The girls asked you and it would hurt them if you pulled out now because their mum threw a fit. Maybe says I really don't want to back down. It means a lot to me that the girls asked me. I just worried that this could cause worse tension which would be bad for the girls. I also hate that she feels jealous and insecure as I think you're right here. I love the girls like they're my own but I will never replace their mother. Comedie says what you value more? Making your husband's ex wife happy or making the two little girls you help raise happy and creating an awesome memory with them? I hope your reply is saying obviously making them happy. It's not about making her happy exactly. It's more concern if I don't concede on this to make things harder for the girls in the long term. Cherry coloured says not the arsehole but I'm curious. When you say old movie. Do you mean the actually old one? I think the one with Lindsay Lohan because if I were calling the latter movie old. I'm going to start shriveling up. I hope for your reply saying the 1998 movie with Lindsay Lohan I'm afraid. Trust me. I know how you feel but to them it's old. Little head forever says you're not the arsehole but I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that the 1998 version of the parent trap is an old movie. I wonder what the girls would think of the original version. Sounds like their mum is jealous of your relationship and is actively trying to negatively impact it. Sad because she should be glad her daughters have a loving involved step mum. Maybe says old trust me. I just like it being called that too. But the 10 year old girls it's old. This will age well says so her only objection is that she thinks it's inappropriate. When considering what's appropriate behaviour and what's not I'm very firmly in the camp of whatever makes you happy and harms no one else. The girls would be happy you would be happy the dad would be happy the costumes are not offensive. The girls mother is not being harmed in any way by what the girls were. Go ahead and do it. Not the arsehole. But a month later OP did come in with an update and says well Halloween is officially over. I thought I'd give an update before I forgot. Firstly I've seen a lot of people wondering if I was the reason my husband and his ex split up and I'd like to clear the air right now. So they split up when the girls were two. I came into the picture a year later. Things came to a bit of a head on one of the girls visits before Halloween. I pulled their mother aside to talk about Halloween. I told her I understood she might have mixed feelings about this but the girls wanted it and I didn't want to let them down. Besides it was their father's holiday and he was in charge of the costume as per their agreement for whoever had them on Halloween. I asked if there was anything I could do to make this more tolerable for her as this wasn't doing the girls any favours. She ended up telling me no that there was nothing I could do as she didn't approve it at all as it wasn't appropriate for me to do a group costume with them as I'm only their stepmother. Even if I'd been in their life for seven years at this point she suggested I only wanted to do this in the first place because I'm using her daughters as a filler as I've been unable to have my own children. This got to me. I've had three miscarriages over my marriage, one of which the girls know and by extension their mother as we thought I was past the danger point when we told them. I told her she was being ridiculous and I wasn't going to talk about this with her anymore. After the girls left I broke down crying a little as having my miscarriages thrown in my face like that heard and the implication that I only wanted to be close to the girls because I couldn't have my own children was so wrong. When my husband found out what she had said to me he ended up calling his ex asking her where she got off being so cruel. He also made it clear that she is not going to call me anymore and all contact is to go through him. We got the costumes ready and we were prepared for Halloween. She dropped the girls off and informed us that one of the girls had a cold and she didn't want them out in the cold as they make it worse and seem kind of pleased like this would put an end to our plans. When she left they tried to insist that they were okay to go out even though they were sick but we weren't about to risk making them more ill so my husband came up with another plan. We all got dressed in our costumes of course. We ordered pizza and watched movies. All four of us greeted any trick or treaters so our costumes could be seen and we also filled a tub with water and had a bobbing for apples competition. It wasn't the night we had planned originally but all in all it was an enjoyable one despite the little hitch. That's raising kids though. Thank you everyone for all your feedback. I hope you had a wonderful Halloween. I didn't add additional information. A few people have been worried about the fact we bobbed for apples. Girls love bobbing for apples on Halloween as we couldn't trick or treat so we took precautions to ensure that they could at least do one Halloween thing they enjoyed. Make sure the water wasn't cold with towels on hand to dry off right away and the one who was sick went last and the water was poured out afterwards to ensure the chance of the cold spreading about was limited. Commodore said to OP, I'm really sorry for what you've been through with the miscarriages. That's something no one should ever bring up especially to intentionally hurt you. You handled this the best way you could and it speaks volumes about who you are as a person and as a step parent. These girls wanted to do a group costume with you. Their mum is feeling jealous. That's her problem. Your husband is right that all communication between yourself and their mother should happen through your husband moving forward. If she calls you shouldn't answer. If she texts just forward to him and don't respond. Nortech says, I assume the ex was a witch for Halloween. Same as the other 364 days a year. What an awful person to throw such a sensitive subject into someone's face. It was cruel and deliberate and speaks volumes about a jealousy and insecurity. You handled it with grace and maturity, which she seems to utterly lack. OP, you've got a wonderful husband who has your back. Please, depote the kibosh on her communication with you. I always do wonder on the back of stories like that, what mum would be talking about in the background about OP etc etc. But you know, OP can't control that in the end. But I think the no contact thing was absolutely the right thing to do in the end of this story. But what do you guys make of this situation? Let us know your thoughts down in the comments below. Just a huge thank you for being here today, getting involved in the stories, your love, your support, your time. It always means the absolute world to me. So thank you so so much for being involved. Truly, it's absolutely amazing. Don't forget at the very end of the video, there will be a couple of playlists there that you can click on. They will automatically scroll through all those videos for you. There's a bloody lot of them. Can't believe some of you have said that you've listened to them all. Gee, bloody whiz. But anyway, just a huge thank you and I'll see you in the next one. Take care. Much love. Okay. I know that today will be a good day. Okay. I know that today will be a good day. The Apprentice continues Thursday on BBC iPlayer. So search Digital ID Consultation to have your say. Digital ID, making public services work for you.