IMO Presents: The Look Live with Wesley Morris

She sends a box of then Ralph Lauren's first edition clothing line. It was like three suits, seven sweat. I mean, it was an Oprah-sized gift, and this shows up in my door in this big locker, trunk as I thank you. And I'm sitting there, like, with all these clothes feeling like I've been opared. It's just like, wow, you'll get a car, you'll get a car. There's sweaters coming out, and it's all this great stuff. Every color, it's like, my God, this woman is rich. But because my husband, who is my husband, he's like, we can't keep that. It's like, what? He's like, I'm in office, we don't accept gifts. Imagine that. This episode is brought to you by Rivian and Colaguard. Hi! Woo! That is a very religious high. I mean, you know, it can be church anywhere. Okay, so I'm going to bring Mrs. Obama out, but I just wanted to say something before we started, just about this book. It's very short. I'm going to look at my phone to do it. First of all, I put this, I have a baking scale, a kitchen scale. Just for kicks last night, I just put it on the scale. 4.12. That is, that's a heavy book. And I just want to talk about the meaning of a book being this heavy. Because, I mean, this book is proof that something happened. Something unprecedented and extraordinary for millions of people. Like, we're all here because we know that something extraordinary happened. And it expanded people's lives, it changed people's lives, it changed the way people look at the world, what they think is possible. And this book, this 4.1 pound book, I mean, it's documentation that all of that actually happened. And the reason to say that is because we live in a moment where people are going to try to say that it didn't. And it did. And this book is documentation of that. So with that, give it up for Michelle Obama! Hi everybody! Woo! That was a catwalk! I was just like, just don't trip. Don't fall. Have you ever tripped? You know, Wesley, people wonder, what were you thinking here? Don't fall down these stairs of Air Force One. No, I never tripped because that was all I was thinking about. Whether there were stairs or long walk or heels, I was just like just one foot at a time. Don't become a meme. Now you've got other memes. I do, but I didn't want to fall into these ones. Those are the ones you want. Thank you, thank you. You guys, Wesley Morse. Man, I specifically asked for this brother to do this because you are one of the smartest, most diverse thinking, broad-minded men that I know. And I am always impressed. I really appreciate that. Thank you. Let's see how true that is about time. Okay, alright. Our time, our time now. Alright, so I feel like where I want to start. First of all, how are you doing? I'm good. I'm good. I'm home. It's like everybody's here. It's like half the people in the audience, I know y'all. And half the other half, I know. Because my sister drew them up here. There they are. Wesley brought like a bus load of people. My sister Robin did it. Okay, okay, Robin. And I'm glad they did. I'm glad they came. But I feel good. I'm feeling good. Glad to be home. This is the last live event. I'll do a little more press in LA in December and then y'all, that's it. So, um, I think the second sort of like small talky question I have to ask, because people won't know. What are you wearing? Well, Wesley knows that I forgot to check before I put this dress on. So we did the fact that it doesn't even look at the label. I didn't look. I didn't know what it was. I was gonna wear, but I don't remember sometimes. And Meredith couldn't be here because she wasn't feeling well. So this is vintage, Zach posing. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And I was gonna wear something else and then you said you were wearing a suit and a tie. And I was like, oh, okay. Wait a minute. Hold on. He said, a mint suit. What happened was. What what happened? I got a text from somebody asking, what are you wearing tonight? And it was not from my sister who also wanted to know what I was gonna wear. I was like, don't embarrass us. And I'm like, okay. But there was no like, there were no caveats. No, there's no drip. And then, Jillian wrote back and was like, everybody just wants to make sure you guys aren't clashing. That's right. What would clashing look like under these circumstances? Because I wore. If you were gonna come out in a tux or if you were coming out in jeans, because there was no dress code. So I try to keep in mind, like, I don't want to come out in a ball gown and you're in jeans, right? She'll almost wore a tux. Well, then I would have worn something else. I had a long conversation with Robin about whether I should wear the tux. And I just decided I just wanted to be comfortable. And you are. And you look good. Also, I don't want to be triggering to you. Like, you look at people in tuxes all the time. Oh, you think? Like not anymore, though. Bring the pistachio. It's been eight years. Barack's tux is tuxed away. The one tux. Oh, you all by the way, he got another tux, finally. Like, he has two or he replaced the old one. Uh, he probably replaced the old one. So the old one's going to, I mean, while we have a Smith-Sony. He's going to the real real. Yeah, we have a whole museum where stuff is going to go. I mean, I'm sure that's the only thing that's going to be there. The Obama Presidential Center opens in June, you all. That's another. And there will be a big celebration. But as part of the exhibit, the archives of many of my dresses will be there. And I keep telling Barack, that's what people are coming for. They're coming for the dresses. So there are going to be many of them up. And then he'll probably have that tan suit. And that'll be his contribution. See, y'all laugh at that tan suit. That was meaningful to me. I mean, we can come back to this because I would like to talk about his experience in clothes as far as you're concerned. There were no experiences. That's a short answer. He's just now getting his fashion edge together. He's trying to keep up. But he's the kind of guy that has a pair of khaki pants from the gap. And he just goes and replaces that pair of khaki pants. He's a man. The girls and I, we are shocked when he has on a color. And we try to encourage him. It's like, oh, it's purple. It's lavender. Oh, dad, you look great. I mean, it's black, blue, tan, great. That's his story. He could not write a book. But I guess... I'm not even going to read between the lines of like, you can't write a book. But what I will ask, I mean, we're kind of like... We're just having a conversation now. So, I'm just wondering, like, what do you think his experience was like? You know, in terms of his sartorial choices. And did you have a preference where you, like, did you ever hope you'd come out of the room? Because one of the most beautiful descriptions in the book is... What was going on on one side of a door? And what was anticipating what was going to come out or through those doors on the other side. So he's waiting for you a vent after a vent to emerge in the clothes that we all see, that this book is full of. Did you ever hope you'd open the door and see something different? I knew I wasn't. I knew I wasn't going to. I mean, that's just not... you know, Barack, that's not a part of who he is. He is not a fashion person. And he looks good in everything. I mean, he's tall, he's handsome. So he's got a blue suit, a gray suit, a white shirt, a blue shirt, maybe a stripe. I mean, it's like a handful of things, and I knew what they were going to be. So I mean, it just truthfully no. He's like the city, you know, he's there, and I'm always the flower. I'm in a dress, I'm in colors, I'm in shorts, leaves, and pants. And that's kind of like how the West Wing, East Wing felt. It felt like the East Wing was where there was color and light and joy. We had apples and children and puppies and there was laughter. And I don't know if we have any Obama folks here, any West Wingers. I know we've got some East Wingers over there. And you know when the West Wing would come, the State Department would come for briefings if we were doing something, and they always felt a little lighter. They were like, wow, you know, my office had a pink hue, it had pretty colors in it. We always had flowers. Then you go to the West Wing and it was war, death, horrible things, Congress. Okay, we're done. And so that was sort of our sartorial. He was serious and we were joyful. I mean, well, we're here now. So I mean, you have invoked that part of the White House. Everything you're describing is light and flowers and joy and welcome is rubble. And I'm wondering how it feels. I'm wondering a few things about the East Wing aspect of your time in the White House. Because that was where you worked. Yeah. You did a lot of your work there. You welcomed people there. Music events happened here. Social office was there. The volunteer office was there. The place that welcomed visitors. Because we did have a lot of visitors. I mean, that was one of the things we wanted to do in the White House was open it up. You know, our view was this is not our house. We are here to do a job. We're here for a term. We're here for a moment. We are caretakers of this history. And it's about bringing more people in. I mean, I was always the kid growing up on the South Side of Chicago that didn't feel welcome in some of these fancy places. You go to the big store downtown. And if you know all of a sudden somebody's following you or you go into the museum and people think that you don't belong. When Barack and I were there, we were thinking about those kids like us who were outside of the gates of the South Lawn looking in. Or maybe not even getting down to Pennsylvania Avenue. Not knowing what it meant to be in the White House. Not knowing what a state dinner was. Not knowing what those rooms looked like because a lot of those kids didn't feel invited in. But those were the people who got us there. So our goal was to make that house as open as possible. And the East Wing, that was the place where that work got done. Along with all the work that I did on the initiative. I had five initiatives throughout the eight years. And that work got done in that in the East Wing. That's where the First Lady Staff was located. So yeah. But every president has the right to do what they want in that house. So that's why we got to be clear on who we let in. Okay. I'm going to change the subject back to the book. Because I really want to talk about the title. Of the book. Yes. Because the title to me is deep. Like you could have called this armor. Uniforms. But you called it the look. And I'm the things that come up when I hear this title are, I mean, there are a lot of things. Like who, who's looking? Which look? Who were you aware of looking at you? Which look suited? Which there is a lot of, what's talked me about the title? Well, that I have to give a lot of credit to. And I want to take a moment just to shout out Pingroom Random House, my publishers, my long time publishers. And I know you guys are here. You know, there's always the point when in these books where it comes time to what are we going to call this? Yeah. Right. And like so much of what I do, it's a collaborative effort. And I think, you know, the title is so good that when, and I don't know who threw it out, but once it was out there, everybody said, that's it. That's it. It says it all. Every word. And even the picture on the cover was going to be a different picture because we wanted to have a cover picture that nobody had seen before. And then I don't know whether it was Chuck or which White House photographer. I think it was Chuck that took this, who was it? Chuck, it was Chuck. This was the photo shoot from my official White House portrait. So no one had ever seen this, but I forgot about this shot. And then he showed it to the team. And that look, that sort of like we start the book with this is kind of where it began, but this book takes us on a complete arc. So this is like this is the beginning. And then there's more. But I think the look, the title itself just speaks for itself. And when you talk to the publishers, they always want one word, one word for a title. Yeah, that's where we are. So, I'm becoming this one. But we want. I see David over there. So it was a team effort, but when those words hit the Zoom meeting, we all agree that was it. And it's about all of it. Yes, this book is about being looked at. How you look and what you look, it's how you want to be perceived. It's all of that. So while it's a book full of beautiful pictures and it's a wonderful coffee table book, I urge people to read the essays. The forward by Farah Griffin. That is an excellent forward. That was something that I knew when we started talking about the book. I knew that I wanted Farah, who is a historian, sociologist, brilliant woman, dear friend, just to set the tone for why even talk about fashion. Because it's not about fashion, it's about culture, it's about race, it's about a woman's journey, it's about my journey. Farah helps to provide a wonderful context to the essays that follow. So there's a lot in there. This segment is brought to you by Colaguard, a colon cancer screening test that doesn't have any special prep. Amish, have you ever put off health needs for yourself? No, I can say that particularly now in my life, it is baked into my schedule. And I probably did that because we grew up with a father that put off health. And our dad, as many people know, had MS. And he didn't, he wasn't always diligent about making sure he got his doctor's appointments. And you had to push him. And I think that sometimes that's the challenge with men, especially men in our communities. I know a lot of young men who are very hesitant when thinking about a colonoscopy. They don't know what it is. It's a scary proposition. There's just something about the process that doesn't feel right for them. And often they're putting it, putting it off. And I find myself making sure that the men in my life are not doing that. Well, you know, Amish, I got a chance to visit the Colaguard lab in Madison, Wisconsin. And boy, was it impressive. It is tech enabled, automated, and state of the art leading to accurate and consistent results. Seeing their team in action showed me how committed they are to catching colon cancer early. And they do all of this because they are currently about 60 million people putting off their colon cancer screening to your point. Many African Americans are part of a group putting off colonoscopies and have a higher rate of colorectal cancer and also unfortunately a higher rate of dying from it. But what was amazing is the work the Colaguard team is doing. It's an innovative company with a mission to eradicate cancer. I found it really impressive that the Colaguard test has been used to screen for colon cancer more than 20 million times. It's a no prep. That's right. No prep colon cancer screening test that is delivered to your door. No excuses. After seeing the lab firsthand, I really want to encourage anyone 45 or older at average risk to talk to their healthcare provider about getting screened with Colaguard. You can even request a prescription online at colaguard.com. Don't wait. Taking control of your health is something you can do today. Let's talk about what's in there. We've got a deck of images from the book. I just sort of want to hear you think through some of the, you know, you all will leave here with this book. You're going to see them. But like, I would like to do some close reading on some of these pictures. This is little Michelle Robinson at Bryn Mare High, or elementary school. That must have been first grade, maybe third grade, it was probably first grade. And that was probably Jim Day because that's a sweatshirt. And I think my mom was still doing my hair. So that was one of those quick. You do the ponytails and put them up. But that was the typical going to public school. I didn't have much control over my look because I had no money. I had no resources. This was a child that, you know, and I was still a bit of a tomboy then because I had an older brother and I was surrounded by boys. I was athletic. I loved to keep up. I boxed with my male cousins. I played catch anything my brother was doing. I was doing. So I wanted to be, if I had to describe my fashion desire, I wanted to be Jose Cardinal, who is the first basement on the Chicago Cubs. And I would pick my braids out into a big throw because he wore his Chicago Cubs cap with his butt. And when I was in at school, that's how I wanted my hair. I wanted to be Jose Cardinal of the Cubs first basement. And you write a lot. Can we get the next set of images? Or this is the next, okay. And then I grew up. So before we talk about this phase of your life, I want to actually go back and think a little bit about how you as a young person were thinking about what to wear. There was a lot of dreaming and wishing. Of who and of what? When you're young, you just want to do what the cool kids do. You want to look like the pretty girls on sole train, but your parents are broke and your mother soars your clothes and your mad about it. Because you don't appreciate the value of a well-made pair of pants because all you want are the glory of Vanderbilt jeans with the swan on them. So there's a lot of wanting when you grow up poor, you know, because, and maybe that's a good thing because there's a period of you don't get what you want. I was in an expectation that there was no fashion. It was practicality. I wrote about the fact that I used to watch laughing young people. I mean, laughing. Laughing. Great 60 sketch show. It's a comedy. Rowan Martin's laughing. It was one of the first sketch comedy shows. It was like the SNF. Slowly Han remember her. She's like 90 now. Remember her, Michelle. I'm talking to the young people. They don't know what we're talking about. But she used to dance in short mini dresses and these patent leather gogo boots. And I wanted a pair of white patent leather gogo boots. I lived in Chicago. It was snow. You know, my mom would listen laugh and then she'd pick up those rubber boots that you put over your shoe. You'd need to put a plastic bag over your shoe. Like if you bought candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy candy She made cushion covers. I mean, I don't, you know, my mom didn't work until I went to high school But she she got stuff done. I mean you'd come home and the whole house would be remade It's like what are you doing? You know my mom didn't shop for herself. She was one of those typical mothers She put all of her energy into us So she wasn't somebody that I looked who she rarely dressed up She wouldn't go to the hairdresser until we all made her so no My mother was not my fashion role model. So I think as a young person I did know what nice stuff looked like, you know But it was something out there to be had There are a few picked I've seen a few pictures and there's definitely at least one in the book of you At Princeton at some point and Ferra like almost really beautifully close reads this yeah in her forward and It's you with your hair braids and you got a denim jacket on and The jacket is buttoned or fastened at the bottom. It's the only That is it created a waste That I was gonna say that is style. Yeah, that is style operating I knew it was out there. I knew what it could be right but the You don't you know you don't get to actualize it until you get a graduate get a degree get a job pay your loans off and then maybe you can Explore fashion so it wasn't until I was Even when I was practicing a lot, you know it was the 80s 90s business suits Ladies, you know those horrible suits with the big shoulder pads It was the uniform and you'd get a red one or maybe a blue one maybe a Tweet jacket and a black it was very sad sad lawyer corporate clothes with Nylons which I hate at Nylons it was that that's a man and then at Nylons Men those things that's just cruel and expensive and they run all the time So I even when I had resources I lived in a uniform of work You know there weren't casual Fridays everybody had to wear suit all the time so it probably wasn't until I became a public figure that I not only had the resources but the necessity To really think about how I had to show up and I had some flexibility So but until then I was I was just Getting through the day You know I write about what it was like to even think about shopping for suit for Brocks big convention speech. I mean I was a typical mother We were running around I had a job I had little kids and it was like oh my god He's speaking at this convention thing I Me and I Part of this book because I was just gonna Ellen Reptuch is saying one thing that's extraordinary about this book that we I Can't I've not read every first ladies memoir But I did do some digging around before we hooked up and just the Fasads of how things were maintained You know Barbara Bush is maybe the only person I could find who was really sort of piercing the The sort of glamour bubble a little bit about what it like what you quote her in the book actually about what she will not be doing Yeah, yeah But I also feel like it's important to think about The the honesty of this thing right the things you were letting people see in terms of You know smoking mirrors In terms of the stresses and my whole thing is always like Like if I'm gonna connect with people the whole point is like if you're gonna help people Especially young people they have to see you they they can't see some facade They can't think that it's all magic because then they don't think they can do it So why I am so brutally honest about all the things. It's like yeah, you know This is it looks good, but it's you know swans and paddling under the water I just want I think my honesty is Directed at young people who covet and look and want to be and I want people to know what it all is Let's talk about it all and so dressing for me was like that I was a typical working mother with a busy husband who was in politics and traveled a lot so I heard that I had to walk on stage with him after his speech and it was like oh my god I can't just wear one of these Horrible suits, you know, I gotta I gotta think of something So it's a mad dash to blooming dales why blooming dales because you could park there and get your parking validated I Mean that's how you think you know, it's like I'm going where they validate and so You know that that's how I dressed It's like oh my god. I got to run and do this and then I've got to dress two little girls So there's also a cute little girls dress place in blooming dales. I was like I can I can hit that Get to know outfits the suit for mom and back in the car in time for the next meeting That's that that was the life so you were doing this on your lunch break Yes in between you know soccer and ballet and the eighth birthday party of the weekend Well during this period though I kind of want to Talk about what I would describe as like you're through the looking glass moment with respect Like how you were going to present yourself and like what it would feel like to go through the looking glass So you you have this on page 44 of your books. Oh my goodness. See this is why I like this guy There's a story that you tell about what I think it's 43 and 44 40 or 44 anyway the point because some pictures in between Oprah comes in interviews The both of you which sounds crazy right Oprah comes to your house and interviews you That's what life was like. It's like she's coming to our house This is before I mean does she know who you are? She thinks you're important. Okay. All right. Well get ready Like wow now that my my motto then was must have been a good speech, right? It's like he gave that speech and all of a sudden everybody knew who he was and I was like it's a good speech You did a great job. Let's go home. We got to get back getting we're in Boston and all while it just got more ridiculous He was on the cover of time and I'm like what? Oprah's coming This actually does sound surreal just imagine this person how long did you guys been married at this point? Oh, we had been married Seven eight you're I'm math. Okay. It's been a while do the math. Yeah, it was we had kids the kids were little so Just to like watch this person who is just like regular Schmeggler guy who you know has something special for sure But to see everybody else figure out what made you marium is a different story. Oh, wow you guys are paying attention to this So yeah Oprah comes so she comes over Has the interview she's so grateful that y'all took the time to do it. Mm-hmm sends you a gift Oprah this is Oprah wasn't a car, but it was close Now I don't want to step on the punch lines here, but I know what would happen to that car She sends you a suit like a camel suit she sends a box of Then Ralph Lauren's first edition clothing line It was like three suits seven sweat. I mean it was an Oprah side gift and this shows up in my door in this big locker Trunk is that thank you and I'm sitting there like with all these clothes feeling like I've been opened It's just like wow you get a car you get a car there's sweaters coming out and it's all this great stuff every color It's like my god this woman is rich But because my husband who is my husband He's like we can't keep that like It's like what He's like I'm in office. We don't accept gifts imagine that It's like they're all lovely pack them up and send them back. So I called Oprah. Yep. I called Oprah I was like I can't keep all these things and she was like what It's like yeah, Barox in office, you know, there's I mean you're really not supposed to accept gifts He's like but it's for me and it's like yeah, but you know So we sit that stuff back I Know But there's a happy ending to it because he was a state senator He stepped down a state senator was running for U.S. Senator in between that time when he wasn't in office Oprah sent the clothes back What Yes, she was watching she's like take them now girl take them now All right, meesh Michelle. Hey, we have done so many fun looks together over the years What am I personal favorites is when we started wearing your natural curls and for me I love it because I felt like it was the opening of the freedom of Host life Michelle Yeah, where you were in control and you got to do whatever you want it with your hair tell me You know that's the vibe that she felt as well. I agree. I mean I love I love my hair all the time because I had wonderful stylus like you helping me so I never had to worry about it But as you know there I always wanted to have the freedom to live my life without you I didn't want to you know I didn't want to feel like I couldn't go out I couldn't do anything unless you name was there making it happen So when we started to go into the natural looks and wearing my natural corals and even working with Injury with braids and the freedom that you're talking about I know you love your braids I love my braids Well, because I'm also very active. Yes, I'm swimming all the time I'm playing tennis and And I can do it myself whether you're there or not, but the natural style that you structured. I loved it Because it was fully me. It was free. It was also a representation to all textured girls out there that our hair comes in all different shape sizes and colors and the Straight look and bouncy look is wonderful. It's fun But the way our hair curls naturally is also beautiful and full and alive and ways that We got to celebrate absolutely and the other thing is is that With braids and natural hair you are able to be in control, right? And it and I think that particularly when you started wearing your hair natural It was the right of passage that everyone else was just like okay the shells doing it. I could do it too Right like everybody love the flowy bouncy and I love that too But I also love the versatility that our hair has we have our hair can be a chameleon You know, we there's so much that we could do with it And so you are able to embody that and show that to everyone to kind of give them be like all right girl You could do this too, which is extremely important You know that I'm very big on making sure that your hair isn't just looking beautiful But that it stays healthy and that goes back to the products that we use So you know that I love your braids and I love that the braids give you the versatility that you might And which is why we've played with you parts We've played with wigs We've done so many different things to master the look that you want for the time and place that you are and whatever you're doing So I love amica we use amica on your hair all the time and it is a Brooklyn-born salon-powered brand Which I love that yes, it's made by stylist It is high performing and it has amazing ingredients like seabuck thern for visible results It's designed to meet all hair needs it gives us hydration, strength, smoothness and shine Amica is built with stylist not just for them which makes pro hair care joyful, approachable and inclusive for all And when I want fullness or versatility from my clients I know that true and pure textures extensions founded by piquila riley who's a part of the amica stylist collective Is my go-to and you were just telling me what does amica mean? It means friend. I didn't know that until you just mentioned it. Yeah So I love all that If you want to experience the same pro love products check out amica at love amica.com and use code IMO20 for 20% off through the end of February because with amica all hair is welcome every texture type and style Okay, so I just wanted to hear Oprah side of the story So I reached out to Oprah Winfrey. Of course you did She got back to me And what she her her version of the story you guys perfect perfect alignment But what she wanted me to know was that there was another story Okay, which she's talking about the Yes, she has her legend ball. Yeah And she invited me to the legends ball As what Oprah called a young in yes, because you were a young and I was the young and but I was still like you know Coretta Scott King was there T in a turn her I kept walking up there. I said Oprah, are you sure you meant to have me here? She's like yeah, go sit down. You're supposed to be here When Oprah goes sits down you like she just like stop asking me that go sit down Don't don't cross that one. That's right but She said that you know every year at her legends events she gives a gift to everybody who goes the legends get one the young and get one And normally at the legends events she says um She gives out pajamas Every year she was given out pajamas and this particular year Well, it was her 50th birthday. So it was a big year for her. It's a big it was the big one Well, Gail is like girl Don't be given people pajamas Enough with the pajamas. We've we've enough. Don't do it. Mm-hmm. So Oprah's like hmm What can I give people? What would mean a lot that aren't pajamas that would really entertain Everybody and not to gail off So she's like what about a little uh Diet black and black diamond hoop earrings Well, there were two different types of earrings and the teardrop or that said the the the legends got these big diamond teardrops And then the young ones got these big diamond hoops with black and white diamonds on either side So we're at the slunch and where everybody gets the gift and they're opening up again you get a car you get diamonds You get diamonds and I open mine up and I look at Oprah And she's like you can't keep that I was like I can't keep these So everybody's like hi, they put their diamonds on Ah, you know and all these these are like great. I was like you all don't have nice stuff It I would think like all of you all the tinnitus just rolled in the aisle like I'm the only one in that group that then that's broke Right, and they were so happy with these diamonds and I was like you know, I can't keep this and she's like really It's like I can't I can't keep it because he was a US senator then Well her version of this story once again y'all are on the newlywaved game your stories match up But what she what she really wanted to emphasize in telling me this second story was that Y'all are good people Y'all are wanted to stay on the right side of all the laws because I mean you know how it is I mean count the people who every day you hear about people taking gifts and the gifts are like gold bars This is a gift from one of the most famous people on planet earth Can't keep it and I think what she the she wanted me to run it by you But she also wanted me and the rest of us to know that from the beginning y'all were ethical Conchie inches and You know she knew she knew she chosen the right people to align her values with yeah So well that starts at the top um and That's you know one of the reasons why I love many reasons why I love and respect my husband that's who he is He's doesn't you know he's not extravagant but he believes in the importance of symbolism and when you are the commander in chief There's a standard at which you know you have to set for the American people and some of these things aren't even laws They're just norms. They're just things that you do because you don't want the people to feel like wealthy people have a different level of access and You know Access to power So that means you got to say no a lot Armada was like if it looks like fun we can't do it Oh Oh my god put that on every bumper sticker in this town All right, but let's talk about some of the symbolism can we have Well, let's do the slide that was previously up and then we'll just sort of go through them So this is you wearing Jason Wu Um to the inaugural to one of the inaugural balls the first one um Talk to me about this The moment the dress What the experience was like is this is you going through another portal? Yes for sure. I mean there were so many portals at this at the in this time in our lives um and It was all very surreal the whole day was surreal. I mean many of you all were there. It was 800 below It was like the coldest weather You wore two pairs of pantyhote two pairs of pantyhose I I didn't even realize see this is what I learned in the second inauguration I was like I'm putting on boots and then it was like 70 um But it was a long day that started with a prayer breakfast. So I'm of course up at five a.m Right because that's what women have to do You have to get up to get hair and makeup done and then the girls have to get ready and mom and you've got family and friends So it's all a little spinny when that's going on and so you go to the White House You make that transition and the morning after the prayer breakfast and then you get in the cars you go to the capital And that's when it gets otherworldly when you're in the beast in that moment and you're driving down and you see the You know the monument The vehicle the beast the beast and you don't really see the Breath of that day until we walk out of the capital in that moment where you see the president the family everybody walk out And that's when we saw what you would say history. It was like oh my god Look at that and when you grow up seeing Um the march on Washington when you see the symbolism of what it means to be on the monument and you're on the Other side of that. I mean that's when you're like whoa. This is This is something This is and it should feel that way you should feel the weight and the responsibility I mean the whole process is to ground the administration in the seriousness of the task you're about to take on and the Responsibility and that it is not about you. It is about all those people standing in the cold You know hoping for some kind of change um But it's cold and uh and then you know to do it with little kids. I mean you remember how little the girls were They were just so you know mothers with little kids. I'm just don't fall. Okay. Are you paying attention? Are you warm enough? You know, so I'm looking at the bible, but I'm looking at Sasha teetering on a on a stool Trying to look up. Are they paying attention? Is somebody picking their nose because these pictures are gonna be historic So you know, I've got that going on in my mind while I'm trying to take this in and I I think being a mother in these moments helped To ground me Because I couldn't get too wrapped up in it Because there's the mothering part are they okay? What does this feel like for them? Do they feel seen in this moment? I mean how are they emotionally? I'm constantly weighing their emotional energy Through all of this as well um, that's why clothes have to be secondary it had to be it like you mean you can't think about I can't that was always my model I had to set up enough of a process that allowed me to show up well Represented but then once the clothes were on there was just too much going on They had to fit they had to move they had to be warm. I had to know we did all of that beforehand So that once hair makeup as my team who is here knows it's like once it's done Don't touch me don't look at me don't come near me. I don't I barely look at myself when it's over um Because then the work happens and that's the point the point isn't the look. It's the look It's us looking out for the country. It's us looking out for the nation It's us looking out for all those people who are depending on us. So the look goes both ways see this is why you're doing my job now Because the title is infinite right it could it means like a thousand different things Um, so the so the this night that gown Was just the the the the the end of it and I will say that the choice of Jason Ooh, I've said this before was intentional the dress was beautiful But we were beginning to realize that everything we did sent a message Sometimes people would read the wrong thing into a fist bump into uh, you know Into everything into everything into every single thing Which is why it's just like look folks when I tell my story I'm not whining. I don't feel put upon This is just what happened And I hope it doesn't offend someone for me to tell you what happened in my life Because it is what happened to me and it is the truth as you said if we don't tell it There will be other people who will try to pretend like it didn't happen but it did And so there were a lot of things that we had to take into account I mean the fact that something you know anything was made of me wearing Having my arms out was just a small indication of the kind of Crazy attention that or standard of beauty or acceptability that was at play So we knew that everything was going to send a message So who I chose to design my gown was intentional Jason was an extraordinary designer This was not a d i d i higher it was an affirmative action It was the prettiest dress it was the best dress that I put on it made me feel ethereal He just happened to be an immigrant kid New to the business who happened to be as talented if not more than some of the greats who always got Those opportunities Oscar D'Lorenta he just got the opportunity It was just a given and see that's how the world shouldn't work You know at some point We the greats should step aside to let some of the young people get a chance And so I mean you said that Washington DC well But doing that me wearing Jason Wu where that could have been Oscar D'Lorenta It would just been another one of his accomplishments for Jason Wu it changed his life And so That's what we were trying to do with the choices that we made was to change lives to say something different about who belonged And who was good enough and Jason Wu that dress was the beginning of like we're gonna do this with everything We do including everything I put on we're gonna rep American designers. We're gonna rep everyone But you know, I didn't wear Chanel. I didn't wear I beautiful clothes, but let's let's look at some of the beautiful clothes Yeah, but I always wrapped American designers of all races of all all Classes and these are well this just this is just shows the breadth of My style evolution can we talk about the Sergio Hudson? I mean all of these I believe I believe these appeared together I believe in the I'm gonna call this the breaking the internet portion of the Do you unders like so I get Sorry I understand That one in that one in terms of like capal capal capal Like blame, but I want to say I love this country Because that one the Sergio Hudson the one you wore to the Joe Biden's inauguration That to me is just one of the most bewitching Yeah, he's like outfits. I've ever seen anybody where There is so much happening here that I have never seen on anybody really I mean Well think about when this was happening. Uh-huh. Yeah, you're wearing a mask. Well nobody saw anybody. That was also it You know, it was like they were probably like they're still alive That's what I I tribute some of that to is like oh my god mom and batter still here But you would never warn You You would never warn anything like this I mean at least in terms of how we think about you in public right and Just talked to me about how it felt to wear that and did you feel Powerful in it because this is a power suit. It's a power. These are power clothes. Yeah, and so Talk to me about what it felt to be in them Well, you know a beautiful anything right makes you feel Everything right for that particular event, I mean we all remember what just happened January 6th happened So to my mind I was really in practical mode We didn't know what was going to happen at this inauguration because the sitting president was trying to convince us that January 6th was just a peaceful protest Right So wasn't clear whether Anybody was going to be safe were you safe at the Capitol where it just happened So to my mind where we usually travel with Hair makeup for touch ups staff assistance I said I don't want anybody with me inside this perimeter Because if something pops off I don't want to put my team in jeopardy So I was like we're getting dressed. I knew I wanted to wear pants because I was thinking if I have to run No, really, I need to be comfortable. I need to I that's not a heel the boot that I wore was a lower heel Um, I wanted to I wanted to Be able to move. I wanted to be ready Um, that's what it is though, right? Yeah, this is offensive and defense. Yes. This is preemptive and any power that comes just comes with the Yeah, we're we're here because This is important and it's important for us to show up I think that's what was going through my mind this feeling of we're gonna be okay You know democracy can withstand a lot and our presence has to represent that I don't know that it was now the code is beautiful the the flow of the pant was was lovely um Yes, all of that but by then I was already I wasn't wearing a lot of dresses then I had My becoming book tour so I was in pants more and more because I was just shifting away from that look into something else And I was like and I'm gonna continue that look here and Sergio Hudson is a fabulous designer And he is he's known for his suits and his coats Meredith pulled it out and once again, I put it on I felt good in it. I felt warm um And I we had no idea that it was going to break the internet I mean there's some of these moments the Versace dress I put that on I was like Yeah, this one the gold boots. It's like yeah, these are really really cute And I can brock is the first test right so I walk out he's like wow I'm like, hmm it's a good one right Yeah, yeah, but that the the inaugural outfit was there was really a lot of practicality for me that went into that dressing because of the The because of the circumstances. Can I read it a little more please The belt oh the belt the belt is superhero, right? You think I mean I don't know wait does not I'm doing my job. Uh-huh. Yeah, the belt to me says Marvel it says Strength um it also says I don't give a fuck like I did this I mean, I don't know who you did it for But it definitely felt like that was Whatever it means to say for you for you. Yeah um I don't know it's just such a Once I left the White House the The responsibility of dressing for that job changed because I was not in that job anymore I know a lot of young people say did you feel like you have to give up part of yourself to You know Look When you're a professional you dress for the job. That's what I tell young people It's like until you are have control and power and leverage Then you better look at what your boss is wearing and act accordingly because you need a paycheck So be smart about it you dress for the job and the job of first lady was a different kind of job When I was done with that I was doing different. I was my own boss. I wasn't I wasn't representing the nation In that way. So yes, those a lot of the end the Versace dress was the last state dinner So that was a kind of I don't care dress I will tell you that one was like because of the dresses that were available that rose gold I put that on I was like this is sexy. It's the last one. This is like bye Bye I I'm Carl Ray and I'm Michelle Obama's long-time makeup artist I've been on many of these sets, but I'm so excited to be in front of the camera My first client was my mom. I would always watch her apply her makeup When I was around 14 years old I asked her if I could do it for her because I thought I could do a better job She obliged and soon after she started asking me to do her makeup A lot I never knew makeup was a career until I was an adult Now my work has introduced me to so many interesting experiences I've worked in film TV print Fashion and beauty all around the world I've also had the pleasure to work with many celebrities and dignitaries along the way And I'd love to work with you So the next time you're booking on air bnb Click on the services tab You'll find professionals like me and my team We can help make your next special occasion even more memorable Weddings, galas, birthdays, headshots Or anytime you just want to feel and look your very best You can find me at airbnb.com slash services This episode of IMO is brought to you by progressive insurance Who help people move forward and live fully owning a home can be one of the most powerful ways to build financial security But for many especially first generation buyers It can feel out of reach That's why I appreciate what progressive is doing In 2024 they contributed over $7 million to help individuals and families Break the cycle of renting by providing support offering educational resources and developing tools to build long-term financial stability through home ownership Their work goes beyond just insurance Their opening doors Through their newly created up payment program Progressive is helping first generation home buyers move closer To the dream of home ownership By offering eligible applicants a chance to receive a down payment assistance grant You know owning a home for me made me feel grounded And also set me up for the future And as a coach when your life is dependent on wins and losses It's really important to have the comfort of a really nice home to come home to Especially for your family Home ownership is one of the biggest investments you'll ever make And progressive wants to help more people This episode of IMO is brought to you by Colaguard A non-invasive colon cancer screening test The American Cancer Society now recommends that if you're at average risk You should start screening for colon cancer at age 45 During my visit to the Colaguard lab in Madison, Wisconsin I learned that there are an estimated 60 million adults Over 45 who aren't up to date with their current screening That's way too many And I got to see firsthand how colaguard is committed to changing that And what really stood out to me Is how their commitment goes far beyond the lab From hosting community events and local health fairs To educating on prevention Sharing screening options And providing access to preventive care The colaguard test is designed to help you feel more in control of your health And your screening process The test is delivered right to your door And you can collect your sample comfortably at home on your own schedule Then you just ship it back to the lab And your results are ready in about 8 to 10 days Simple as that And the best part You can start screening for colon cancer without all the hassle of preparing for a colonoscopy No fasting, no drinking that prep liquid No requesting time off work Most of your patients even find they paid nothing out of pocket That's why 20 million colaguard tests have been used And hundreds of thousands of health care providers Across the country prescribe it for their patients There's no excuses Get screened for colon cancer So if your 45 are older and at average risk Ask your health care provider about screening for colon cancer With the colaguard test You can also request the colaguard prescription today at colaguard.com slash podcast The colaguard test is intended to screen adults 45 and older at average risk for colorectal cancer Do not use a colaguard test if you have had adenomas Have inflammatory bowel disease And certain hereditary syndromes Or a personal or family history of colorectal cancer The colaguard test is not a replacement for colonoscopy and high risk patients colaguard test performance in adults ages 45 to 49 Is estimated based on a large clinical study of patients 50 and older False positives and false negatives can occur colaguard is available by prescription only One photo we don't have with respect to that Versace address That is in this book And I know with your tab book I put a tab on the Versace You are raised a very thorough young man Um There is a photo of Can we talk about Can we talk about this one Oh the back There is no page number Web page It is in the section That is probably my sit Robin is that you? It is in the section of There is a whole section on a noguro downs It is just before page 210 So what is it you are looking at the draping of it? No What are you looking at? What are you seeing? There is a photo of you I never watched you from behind I have never done it And it is not for the reasons you think I am just It is not what we are doing here It looks good It is a well It looks great But I am saying What are you saying? Jeff Coons Brent Coosie This to me is like you can see your reflection in this dress Yes And the one place where it is not draping is back there And this This is you just said Yes I-I-D-G-A-F This is Kiss My Ass Oh This is the world is looking and can see themselves in this part of the dress You can see the reflection Do it in the front Right In the front it's Well now you are reading a lot Oh Into You put the ball on the team as a vama I am going to take a swim Look Much all of my choices Ultimately are what is beautiful And what looks beautiful on And I think as women In the end that is the whole point of it One of my philosophies is that I don't feel good in it If I don't feel beautiful I don't buy it I don't pick it I don't wear things because they are in I don't I don't even know whether I am going to like a dress I don't pick a dress from the rack Because we all know something that looks good on the rack You put it on and it's like Woo-hoo not for me And that's one of the messages It's like If you- if you feel good with your arms out Where your arms out You know if you feel good in Nylons then put them on That was my philosophy Do you see anybody feel good in Nylons? Some people do I don't know I did not like them But you also look happy Like in a lot of those photos I'm always happy I have I had a really great job And a great time doing it And we got a lot done I mean there was so much joy In everything we did And this is one of the things That I wanted to show in the book Was the life of that White House Just the vibrancy, the activity The- so you know we could have done Just a series of photos of standing in pretty dresses But when you open this book You see you see kids You see puppies You see all the movement Because we were an active White House And that- and we were a joyful White House One of the chapters is called First Lady as a verb Yeah I mean everything for me was about Um It was about moving the ball I mean literally physically moving the ball An- an initiative As my team will know in the East Wing It was like what are we going to do We're not gonna announce something I didn't want to be a symbolic First Lady That was a slogan First Lady It's like mmm You know just say whatever I wanted to- I wanted to have tangible goals and outcomes That I could see Because I came from that world of running a non-profit I ran programs I started things I liked to build things and see them go Those are great verbs I mean, I'm sorry Um So yes, I- I was always a person that was thinking about moving things forward Going ahead and that helped us get through You know if you're focused on the work You know just getting things done every day Then it makes all the hardships All the thorns and arrows And all the haters And all the negative things They just blow right off of you Because you have an agenda in front of you And if you focus on that agenda Which is what I would tell my team That's what we're going to focus on And close- close we're like that too We're going to figure out a process That we make this simple So that we're not- while I have to wear a lot of clothes I'm not going to spend every day- I cannot spend every day Thinking about what I'm going to wear I have to have this done quickly We fit one day a month We fit we had the calendar We knew what we were doing Meredith, my stylist brought clothes in We fit them we tried them on We got to do what I was done So that the work could get done And as I said I was concerned about Can I hug somebody in it? Will it get dirty? I mean I was the kind of first lady That there was no telling what I would do You know I mean I would walk out the house in the- In a whole of who? And I'm doing pushups And then people start- I mean in the time that I was- I think I've caught a football pass From an NFL player I played soccer with David Beckham I did pushups with Desmond Tutu I have done broken a Guinness World's record for jumping jacks I mean this- And this would all happen on a day You know It could, it could be You know you're giving a speech on health here You're meeting with the first lady of blah blah blah And now you're digging up dirt In the backyard with kids So my clothes had to Be ready for that Because the thing about clothes that I find Is that they can welcome people in Or they can keep people away And if you're so put together and so precious And things are so crisp And the pin is so big You know It can just tell people don't touch me You know if you're not dressed to bring people in Great point about that You know your clothes can make people push away So I always wanted to be able to If a rope line was happening If somebody was going to be in tears and need a hug We're not wearing white We're going to wear print if I have stuff to do Because I'm not going to leave some- I'm not going to push somebody away When they need something for me And I'm not going to let the clothes get in the way of that And I had a team of people who understood that So You know There- There had to be a lot of thought And that stuff had to be done well in advance Well I want to talk about the team for a second Because These people seem fantastic They are They've been around the entire time And I don't know I mean Yine And Injury And Meredith of course Carl Yeah I want to take a second to talk about Carl Yeah Because there's a part- I mean you know everybody- One of the beautiful things about this book Is that everybody who is on the team Has a little section of the book Where they talk about how they got started What it's been like to work with you What the- The artistry that they practice Because I mean it's work But it also is- And it's a talent But it also is art And for like Carl's entry In this book Like I might- I'm going to read it I'm going to read part of it Because I think it's beautiful And I think that like it is such a It stands in for the whole of how Many, many people think About you in a way that feels different From the way we've thought about people Who've had this job before And I also think that it is a testament To- I just can't imagine many other women Allowing What Carl wrote to appear in print At all Because- It's just- Well, it's intimate Yeah And it's about you So hold on, let me just read a little part This is- I love your take This is Carl Ray Writing about what it is like To do Michelle Obama's makeup Carl, are you listening? Carl's here? Carl's here? Oh! Carl's always here, look at me Don't I look like Carl's here? All right, so I'm going to start- Oh, fuck Can you read it? You can't read, you can't see, can you? I was about- I'm sitting here going, wow, he's got great eyesight That's good enough to get me through this I think I can do it Okay, hold it up real close Or far away I think I can do it Depending on whatever she's doing later that day I might add to that And then use some concealer This is about the foundation This is apparent medical She inherited amazing skin from her mother And has passed it on to her girls I set her face with powder Which allows everything else to apply smoothly And often I do a little quote- Baking unquote By applying extra powder beneath your eyes Down her nose and on her chin and forehead We then finish with a setting spray Her skin has red undertones So I use warm bronze And gold tones to highlight and brighten her cheekbones And other high points of her face And cooler brown tones For contouring and sculpting her jaw, nose, cheeks, and forehead Blending along the way to enhance the structure of her face If she's wearing an off the shoulder look I apply shimmer or glow to her shoulders And in decolata Depending on what she's wearing I sometimes even apply it down her arms and legs Then I work on her eyes My favorite part I fill in the lids Often with gold bronze or soft peach And then do a brown contour on each eye crease I generally use a black pencil on her top lash line Sometimes follow it with a liquid eyeliner for a quote Kitten eye We've gone full blown cat on special occasions I then use a black or brown coal eyeliner on her water line Now I don't know what a water line is Is it just a okay Thank you Carl I learned something new I then use a black or brown coal eyeliner on her water line And fill in her eyebrows with a brow pencil and powder Lips and lashes are generally last For her mouth I use a lip pencil, lipstick, and finish with a gloss 75% of the time I opt for a nude lip Which I do in a variety of tones Including peach, brown, caramel, and pink Nothing too distracting Always enhancing I always want the focus to be on her message I'm going to skip way ahead Michelle remains my primary client I've worked with her for 16 years And I believe she's more beautiful now than ever before I'm not done She loves the fact that I'm fast This is fast How long does this take? You can do that in 15 minutes Yeah I mean how long did it take the Chistine Chapel to happen? I mean Michelle remains my primary client I've worked with her for 16 years And I believe she's more beautiful now than ever before She loves the fact that I'm fast Sometimes she doesn't even look in the mirror When I'm done At his exclamation point Look at yourself, Alse You're beautiful President Obama on multiple occasions As said, Carl I want to thank you For making Michelle look and feel beautiful And he always responds my pleasure That's beautiful I'm so glad you read that I find that So moving Because it is Like the care I didn't want to go into this really Because it kind of doesn't need It's so obvious It doesn't need to be said But this is a black woman This is a black woman who is in the White House A place I mean I don't care what they say She was never supposed to be The idea that you were being beautified In a place that You know it's many points in history Were responsible for making sure her You couldn't even write the words White House By a white man who loved you Is just that is America to me That is yesterday Yes it is And I don't know this book is deep Because nobody talks about this stuff Right? I mean you can get you can go to YouTube And see all kinds of beauty tutorials And all that stuff But This isn't a tutorial This is It's kind of like Fashion criticism It is an artist talking about his craft It is hearing about what it is like to practice that craft on an excellent person I'm going to say according to him But I know you know What is How does it feel to Have gone through that experience Where what is happening is on the one hand How you're supposed to look But Beneath that really is about how you're feeling Who You know the question You know it's it's complicated um Because I You know as I said before I think that You know life is such in during those times even now can be such a whirlwind Um That there I think this is the moment where I took the time to actually reflect on it So what came up for you while you were reflecting on it? I mean We have the book but what was it like to write it? What was beautiful was a book that I always knew I wanted to write the question Was always the timing of it Because I think Quite frankly I probably had a little PTSD. I probably still do About how I what I put out into the world because I know that there will always be some kind of commentary some reaction You do it you also want a reaction I mean I wrote this book to create a conversation Among us as people as women as women of color um You know so I knew I wanted to do this it was just now felt like the time I also knew that I wanted to Use this as kind of a love letter to the team of people that you just Wrote about to Meredith and Carl and Yine and and Jerry and let me just say that team is the team that's been with me the longest but there are so many others All the seamstress all the designers Johnny Wright who was my hairdresser during the eight years in the White House I think Dawn is here who has done my nails all this time. I mean My trainers and you know it's just you know this whole process of Showing up for the world it there's no way I could do it without this team and I think about how much they Sacrifice because we live in an age where it's like the odd part of The first lady position is that I guess I'm famous, but I'm not a celebrity What's the difference to you? Well celebrity is a celebrity stylist. You're styling for beauty. You're styling to be seen um, I'm styling to work Uh, and I'm not saying that you know, they're you know There's no I never walked on a red carpet other than a state dinner red carpet I am the first I have a job to do and so my team has to understand that mission and when you work in the beauty industry And you're used to a stylist who wants credit or wants to be seen It's like we're not even talking about this we did all of this and we're not talking about it Because we're also thinking about the times that we're in how are we going to talk about fashion when there's a recession How are we going to talk about you know a pair of shoes when You know, we need immigration reform. I mean there is also thinking about what is appropriate to say at what time And I always felt like fashion was the underlying story So that meant that they had to kind of cut their shine You know, there was no posting there was no behind the scenes gossip or talk and to have people who were so young Let me just remind you you name was 18 19 years old when she start you'll hear her story um In Jerry the same way these were kids Meredith was 28 years old We had a very young white house A lot of really smart young kids who came in understanding the assignment That none of this was about them me We weren't there to support the commander in chief. We were there to represent the country Everybody took their job seriously. They didn't make money. There was no glamour to it You know industry of glamour You know this was about message and service and the fact that they Were willing to make that sacrifice right alongside of us writing in You know Bad sweaty vans taking helicopter rides that were precarious You know being on boats being in holds in Africa with no air conditioning and no lights and through thunder So I mean this was not a glamorous job But they did it and did it well So I want their stories to be told because this is what this work is you know We as women we don't get to just show up any kind of way um We don't have the luxury yet to just Wake up and throw on a tie and call it a day There's a lot of And I think this book is you know this book is kind of speaking for all of us For all that work that we do that sometimes goes unacknowledged I mean I even sought when we did foreign trips You know the West Wing didn't necessarily plan a trip for a woman You know they wouldn't think about the cobblestones or the rain or the grass or the terrain But yet here I am following my husband around in a pair of heels or you know because what a man has to do It's if it's casual you take the jacket off if it's formal you put their jacket on you take the tie off You put the tie on It's like we don't get to do that But I'm I'm with him every step of the way. I'm doing it's like the ginger Rogers thing I'm doing the same thing Giving speeches, but I'm doing it with heels and walking backwards and it's not just me You know it was our secretary of state it was all of our senior advisors it was Nancy Pelosi When I would think about these women who are along on these codels and they're trying to keep it together and keep their hair in place and And the men are just in their stupid suits just not thinking Not asking a question not realizing all the machinations that have to go on for us to stand up and show up Um, and we feel like we have to do this stuff quietly Like it just happens. It isn't magic. It's a lot of frickin work Uh, and it takes care I think that's also the four pounds right? Like the work I mean They worked y'all worked So we work right like to to lift this Yeah, well to carry I gotta take two of these back. Okay. I put them telling me in my garment bag Um Did anybody you're talking about these you know the difference For women in this experience in terms of like what you all had to just what it's like to put on clothes period Um Did anybody Talk to you just about how to not look or how to look during those years did you get advice from anybody? No Okay, hmm No, there isn't you know, there isn't a handbook for um, you know, that was one of the excellent things that Meredith was able to do And and most of this was it was very important on foreign travel because you know even The the uh state dinner at Buckingham Palace to wear gloves to not wear gloves. That is the question You wore the gloves I wore the gloves, but there were so many meetings about those gloves and were they appropriate and who wore them They're between where them and then what did other first ladies do in the state department they weren't that helpful They didn't they didn't have the strong opinion about it um and let me tell you if I showed up as the first black first lady and didn't have something appropriate You remember when I touched the queen after she touched me it's like She touched me first y'all She did And I felt like it was rude not to touch your back Or you wear its cardigan. I mean, you know, we were out in the country It's uh in the world representing the country that takes work a visit with the pope the amount of Requirements to visit the pope Obantia you've got to have your arms covered you've got to cover your knees That's if you're you know, you can be in the cystic chapel and shorts and a t-shirt, but if you go and upstairs to see The pope There there is a way to dress um and some of that comes from the state department But some of that work was merited researching what other first ladies wore and calling designers people on the ground who No and because she did that work I didn't have to um, I could be there and do the work and know that what I had on was appropriate those are things that Male leaders do not have to think about if you were visiting An Arab country the amount of rules and who you can touch and who you can't and what you can't do as a woman All of that is there it matters very much um So that becomes a real That's a that's a real diplomacy issue That if you get it wrong maybe wear the wrong color or you've you know a Color in a certain country could mean something So you're constantly sending messages with everything you do and for me There's absolutely no that way that I could get to a foreign country because I was also working there giving speeches Meeting with young girls doing work there and then I had my kids as well And they had to be dressed appropriately You had to have wear something to get off the plane and you had to get in the car And then you had to wear something to the just the amount of packing that would take for a foreign trip That was all Meredith there was one person doing that for me My girls my mom if she travel Managing outfit steaming getting things ready for event after event after event That's a lot of work y'all Yeah, I um we've got to go Yeah But uh, I've just got a my sister asked Wanted my sister and her friends had some questions. Okay. We have time for one Um, it's a question I share which is basically um Do you get advice from your daughters about what to wear and what not to wear? No, let me not not laugh at that No, no, no the girls they Yes, I get the um you look good mom or that works. I know if they look they go in my closet a lot um That's a sign of approval. Oh for sure, but they you know as they get older they're starting to respect Uh, what I have I mean, I remember I was gonna give Sasha an alaya dress that I had and for those of you alias A really she's like why would I want that? I was like, ooh you just don't know You just don't know but now they're starting to know it's just been fun watching them come into their own style They're very different girls they have their unique style. I find that I'm now to point where I'll see something Cool that they have a jacket or a shoe and I'm like where'd you get that? No, we're doing more of that They're like where'd you get that? But if you that's very different, you know teenage children that brandy maleville period Oh I'm sorry, but that's that short those short dresses and the they went through they were just like every young teenager they wanted The stuff off of the web they wanted to go to the mall they wanted you know they they didn't they thought designer clothes were for old people Uh, and so they're just now as they're coming into their own professions They're just now starting to appreciate the quality of clothes and to understand dressing for You know being out in the world So we're we're starting to develop a more shared Fashion story together and it's like a new thing for you to talk about You know no with girls you're always look Sasha was beating her face from the time she was 11 Years old because this is the thing about this new generation social media introduces them to a lot of stuff Early on I didn't wear makeup until Oprah came over. I mean Literally, you know, you take one picture that appears in the press with no makeup on and you're like I need a makeup artist because I don't wear makeup all the time But when you were filmed and see it does make a difference you do not show up on TV without makeup You just brought will get touched up. He's learning that too Uh, so I didn't grow up wearing makeup But the girls you guys who have young girls they all know how to do their makeup because of social media They all go on these websites and they know how to powder and contour and ways that are amazing to me So Sasha was doing that for the longest and Barack was like she's just wearing too much makeup And I was like It's a phase, you know, this is what he had to understand girls we play we play in these spaces and I was like let them play You know, they will get to the point where they will decide as women on their own what they can afford to do What they have time to do I was like they get to the point It's like Sasha the minute she gets in college when she doesn't have any time No makeup and low on behold she chose sleep Over the extra time to put that so it's just slowly it's like whoa yeah that hour routine You know, you can do that when you finish your homework and you're just at home But you could learn from Carl how to do it in 15 minutes. That's true. She's gotten faster But that's the the beauty of having young young young girls around Just watching them and I give credit to That this new generation the younger generation a lot of this openness the sharing comes from That they want authenticity. They want to hear your truth They don't want things to be powdered over or smoothed over And they're honest I think my decision to wear braids more and more comes from a whole generation of young Black girls who were embracing their natural hair who are no longer using real relax areas who are saying take me as I am Who are embracing their beauty and as I said I want it to be a part of supporting them in that journey And I know that me being Michelle Obama the first Former first lady wearing braids in the White House mattered And that was a deliberate decision that I made to support young girls that are trying to break old patterns and norms that don't serve them as young young girls and I credit that generation And I want them to continue to be themselves and show up in ways that make sense for them Not following some limited stereotype of what beauty is and I say that not just to girls of color but to all women You know, that's what we need to break out of is this one narrow standard of what is acceptable and beautiful I hope that what I've shown is that beauty comes in all shapes, sizes and colors There isn't one way to wear your hair. There isn't one way to look professional There isn't one way of showing up as an American And I think it's incumbent upon all of us as women not to make not to look for us to look like each other You know, we should embrace the power of how different we are Our hair texture, our sizes and shapes It's all beautiful and it's all important and it all matters But we have to fight for it Because if we let somebody else set those standards for us we will be trapped in this narrow We've gotten this mess in the first place We've gotten this mess in this place in the first place. So yes, so I I hope that this empowers us As women as people to embrace all of who we are Whatever that looks like Michelle Obama everybody Thank you Wesley You all thank you DC. 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