How to reclaim the magic of summer, according to Gretchen Rubin

This is our glass. On This American Life, one thing we like is a good mystery. Sometimes about really big things, but most times, the little mysteries are the best. Our lost and found is currently filled with pants. I don't know. I've never seen this happen. Wait, is this true? This is true. Mysteries of every size, each week, This American Life, wherever you get your podcasts. I tend to romanticize summer, or at least I have in the past. And I think that's in part because of movies and TV shows that were on when I was growing up and in high school. It was this idea that you were supposed to go somewhere maybe far flung for a couple of months and completely transform, probably have a whirlwind romance, and just come back renewed like a totally different person. And honestly, I have never had a summer like that. It's hard to live up to that. For me, my fantasy is more modest, but it's just the idea that somehow the summer is going to stretch out empty and full of just time to fill as I like the way it was when I was in fourth or fifth grade. Yeah, I guess it does go back to childhood because I was wondering like, where does this really stem from this idea of summer as if it stands apart? It's the school calendar. Hey, it's Mary El Cigarra. You're listening to Life Kit from NPR. Do you remember when summer meant something? When it felt special? The long days stretching into weeks? The feeling that there was more time and more possibility than at any other point in the year? Our guest today, Gretchen Rubin, has a plan to help you reclaim that feeling. Gretchen is a writer. You might know a few of her books like The Happiness Project or her podcast Happier. She's also been on Oprah and she's a pro at helping people create meaning from their life experiences. She says now is the time to think intentionally about how to make the most of your summer before it slips away. So often the summer just flies by and we haven't taken the picnics or gone for the day trip or whatever it was that we thought we were going to do because it passes so quickly. I think we do have this romantic idea of what summer can be, but if we don't design our summer to hold that, it's not going to happen on its own. That's something that if we really wanted to happen, we have to plan for it. And there's something about the fact that it's just this one season. I think that little bit of time pressure is actually useful for us because it gives you that feeling of like, well, I better do it now and I need to make a plan now because otherwise this time is just going to slide by. Things that can be done at any time or often done at no time. And so by saying I want to get it done this summer can be useful. Gives it a container. Gives it a container. Exactly. On this episode of Life Kick, Gretchen and I talk about how to plan the summer you want, whatever that looks like. We talk about picking a word as your guide, creating a bucket list, sticking to a challenge and more. We're going to start though with the word. Gretchen says one way to design the summer you want is to give it a theme. This is Takeaway One. Pick a single word or phrase that you want to embrace this season. Something that captures the feeling you want to have or whatever you're seeking over the next few months. So it could be adventure. It could be relaxation. When you look at people's one word themes, they're often opposite. Some people will pick more and then some people will pick less and some people will pick now and some people will pick weight and some people will pick bigger and some people will pick smaller. It's all what you want and part of the fun of it is coming up with, well, what is the theme that is going to really please you? I think ketchup is like a super food. It has all five of the basic tastes, sweet, sour, salty, bitter and umami, which is extremely unusual and it has a kind of a summer feeling because you think of putting ketchup on your burger and there's something kind of whimsical about ketchup. It's really just like look for the whimsy, look for whatever I could add that's going to make something elevated and more fun. Ketchup is a metaphor. Yes, it's a metaphor. For me, it's the symbolic idea of adding ketchup. Are you also trying to catch up on things this summer? Well, very well played. I didn't even think of that and that is so good because that is one thing I try to do in the summer because one of the things that is true of the summer is it includes July 2, which is halfway day and halfway day, we're halfway through the year. So if there have been resolutions that you've made or goals that you've wanted to achieve, it's good to stop July 2 and think, okay, am I on track? How am I doing? Do I need to find a different approach? Do I need to reengage with this? Do I want to give it up? Have I decided that actually this isn't something that I want to pursue? Do I want to mindfully abandon it? That's a good strategy if something isn't working out. So catching up on July 2. Perfect. I do love a word play. Yes, I love a word play. I was an English major. Okay. Were you also an English major? Yes, I was. As people are trying to come up with their theme, I mean, what advice do you have for them in brainstorming that? Think about what is the atmosphere you want to create or what is it that you want to point yourself to? And then think of what is a word, a creative, interesting word that has a lot of energy. And you want to think of a word that really does have resonance. My sister basically one time wanted to have resilience, but oh my gosh, right? We've all heard that word so many times. It's a heavy word. It's tired. So instead she picked bounce. And the idea of like bounce back, bounce into the future, have energy. And like it's a quirky whimsical, memorable word, but it really captured the idea of what she wanted, which was resilience. So sometimes it is fun playing with what are the words that attract you that stand for the idea, what you're trying to capture from this season. We'll have more Life Kit after the break. Every episode of It's Been a Minute, NPR's What's Happening in Culture podcast starts by asking three questions. Who? How? Why now? If the culture is asking it, we're talking about it. At NPR, we stand for your right to be curious and indulge your cultural curiosity. Follow It's Been a Minute wherever you get your podcasts. And we'll break down the zeitgeisty topics that are filling your feed. It's easy to feel overwhelmed by skincare advice. More along the way, skincare got complicated and started to feel like a job. But what products and treatments will actually lead to healthier skin? Life Kit made a special newsletter series to answer that question. Sign up at npr.org slash skincare or find the link in the description for this episode. I also have been trying to think about in terms of this what summer truly lends itself to. We want it to do a lot. And maybe we're unrealistic about what we can get done. But also, what are the opportunities, the realistic opportunities? For me, I think it's like looking at the pleasures of the season, like a juicy ripe peach. Eating a peach often over the sink so it doesn't drip all down my face and my clothes. For wandering in nature or watching the sunrise or sunset, the longer days, allowing yourself leisure rather than rushing around from one thing to the next. To me, summer is about slowing down. Well, that's a really good thing. Maybe that would be your phrase, would be slow down or take your time. Something that would capture the idea of settling into an experience. There is something about the longer days that just feels like you do have more time. Maybe it also lends itself to exploration and then also maybe it's abundance. Maybe juice is my word. Ooh, I like that word. That's a juicy word. Yeah, because even just the fruit that are available in the summer are so much better. And just squeezing the juice out of it. Yeah, you're squeezing the juice out of the summer, but then you're also enjoying the juicy tomato, the juicy peach. Yeah, see, that's a perfect example. It's a very summer word. But this is why I think it's so helpful to think about it in advance because if you don't think about it, the whole summer could go by and you haven't had a single peach. As much as you love them, there was never the opportunity when you're like, now's the time. And if you haven't thought about the fact that it's something that is meaningful to you, it just might slip by and then they're not in season and then you've missed your opportunity. Whereas if you design it into your summer, then you can really make sure that it happens and that you really have that enjoyment. That's another takeaway from Gretchen. Takeaway two. Come up with a bucket list of things you want to do this summer. Maybe you want to try kayaking or see the sunset at least once. Ride the ferris wheel at a summer fair or make a tomato tart. You might even put something on there that you don't necessarily want to do, but you've been trying to cross off your list for a long time, like cleaning out the garage. I'm a very fearful driver and the more I drive, the more comfortable I am. But because I'm fearful, I often don't want to drive. So this summer, I really am saying, and I live in New York City, so I don't have a lot of opportunities to drive up, but I vowed, anytime I have a chance to drive, I'm going to drive. This doesn't make my summer more fun because I'm a fearful driver, but it makes it feel very satisfying because I'm working on something that I really want to tackle. But it can be something like 50 summer walks or 10 new chicken recipes. Having a bucket list of things that you want to try really can make sure that those things get tackled, even if it's as simple as a backyard picnic. How many things do you think one can reasonably put on a summer bucket list? Some people love a long list with a lot of easy things to cross off. I'm kind of a big fan of that approach myself. Some people like fewer things that are more ambitious. It's really whatever works for you, but I think you want to be realistic with yourself because sometimes it's easy to get discouraged if you set the bar too high and then you feel like you've let yourself down. So pick the things that are really important to you and really try to follow through with those. Another idea, take away three, is to come up with some sort of challenge. Gamify your to-do list a little bit. I'm going to try 10 new taco joints or eat at every diner in the neighborhood or read five romance novels this summer. People are so creative with this. Like Friday Freaky Flavor, where it's like every Friday they went to the ice cream store and had a freaky flavor. If you had Friday Freaky Flavor all summer long, that would really stand out in your mind for that summer. Years later you'd be like, oh, that's the summer when I discovered creamed corn ice cream. Sometimes they're really meant to help us explore. Many people do challenges related to I'm going to do 10 new hikes or I'm going to try six new exercise classes to get out of my rut and see if there's a new kind of exercise that I would enjoy. There are challenges where it's really something that's difficult, that you really are saying to yourself, okay, I'm really going to do this. And I know that it'll make me happier in the long run, even if it's a challenge that I don't enjoy. Many adults do not know how to swim. And this is something that in my observation kind of weighs on them. So maybe this is your summer when you're going to take swimming lessons and really learn how to swim, even if that's something that's scary to you. Maybe this is your summer of dentistry or doctor's appointments where you're like, okay, I've got a little bit more free time. Let me make some appointments that I've been putting off because I know in the end it's going to make me feel better to get these things done. But I need to kind of work myself up to it. One of my challenges is to watch girls. I've never seen the TV show girls and I want to just like do it. Prepare to be uncomfortable. Okay, I know that's sort of what I've heard, but people say it's so good. I'm thinking, okay, well, summer's passing. Maybe I just sit down and just watch a lot of girls. I think it's a good idea to have some summer pursuits that are indoors because sometimes it is unbearably hot outside in the summer. And I think there's a lot of pressure to be outside all summer because it's like, I've waited all year for this, but when it's 100 degrees, I don't want to be outside. Right. So it's a hobby summer and you're like, I'm going to experiment with three new hobbies or I'm going to knit something or build something or maybe it's experimenting with like learning to make homemade ice cream or making homemade bread or something where you'd come out of the summer feeling like, oh, wow, I really like, I really learned something or did something. I'm playing Scrabble with your family every night after dinner or something like that to give it a special flavor. Yeah. After the break, we soak in the summer through our senses. Each story you hear on Planet Money starts with a question. What happens if we refund tariffs? Why are groceries so expensive? At NPR, we stand for your right to be curious because the forces shaping our world can be hard to see. So NPR is Planet Money wherever you get your podcasts and start seeing how the economy really works. All right. Takeaway four is to experience the summer through your five senses and then reflect what does summer look like, smell like, taste like, sound like and feel like. Our five senses are so important. And I think the summertime is a time where we really think about our five senses a lot. There's something like just very vivid about summer. And you can do a five senses portrait either of your summer or of a specific adventure you had in your summer. Like let's say you took a family trip and you could do this by yourself or you can do this with a group of friends or with your family and you just go seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching. So let's say you went on a July camping trip with your family. You'd say, okay, what were the five most notable sights that we saw? And then you would talk about, okay, well, what was it like? Oh, that was the time we saw the bear eating out of the trash can. And we almost got right up on him. That would be something that you saw, hearing, smelling, tasting, touching. It's one thing to look at photographs, but that's just very flat. But a five senses portrait really puts you back into that experience. But maybe it's for your whole summer. What is it? Is it the smell of sunscreen? Is it the smell of chlorine? Is it the smell of hot dogs? Is it the smell of cotton candy? Is it the smell of freshly cut grass? For you, what is the smell of summer? So this can be a really creative, fun way to look back on summer and capture the memories that you've created. Yeah, I love that idea. And I'm sure people could get really creative with it in terms of, I'm going to make it into an actual portrait. Like I'm going to illustrate it or... Yeah, oh yes. Yeah. Absolutely. Whatever it is. I want to ask a question for the parents out there, because especially if you have kids in the house, you're not just planning your summer for yourself. You're also planning for them and for your family as a whole. And so I wonder how can you get their input about what they want their summer to be like, but also make it something where you're meeting your needs as well? Well, I think that is a great idea, which is to sit down and think like as a family, how do we want to design our summer? What does everybody want from it? And I think sometimes for ourselves and for our children, we tend to over schedule and there's sort of a feeling of like we're rushing from one thing to another and we don't give ourselves a big margin. And that is another thing I think to think about as you design your summer is like, what is your pace? What is your energy level? How crowded do you like your days to be? Because some people really do love running from one thing to another and like, let's jump in the car and go here and go here. And they like that feeling and they like that pace. And then other people, like there's a quotation from Thoreau where he said, I like a broad margin to my life. And I'm like, I need a broad margin. I don't like to rush. I like to have a lot of time in between things. I could spend a whole day puttering and my family is kind of the same. So we take it pretty slow. We don't need a lot of activities to feel like we've had enough. But for other people, like that pace might be different. And also you can get into the complication of like some people like to do a lot. Some people want to do less. But the more you can talk about that, the more you can figure out, well, how do we make this work for all of us? So this comes up a lot with New Year's resolutions where you get three weeks into January and you realize you're not doing the thing and maybe you don't even want to do the thing. So what if that happens in the summer? You set your theme or your intentions, you make your bucket list and then you get to end of July, early August and you're not doing it. Well, that's very common. We've all done it. I'm a big fan of helping yourself remember what you've set. So like I have an index card that's on the bulletin board right in my desk. So I see my theme every time I look to my right to keep it uppermost in my mind. And then the same thing with the list so that I remember what's on my list because sometimes you make, even though something's really important to us and we vow that we're going to do it, we just sort of forget about it. This is often why it can be fun to have a visual representation that's maybe a t-shirt or a piece of jewelry or something like a little thing on your desk that would help remind you of what you have set your theme to be just so that you remember to do it. Now if you get to a point and you realize, okay, I haven't been living up to this, it's never too late. There's an adage that I love, which is the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now. And the best time to have a terrific summer is at the beginning of summer, but the second best time is whenever you think of it. So you're never behind, you can always just start where you are and jump in. I think that as much as you can remind yourself along the way is good, but if you've lost some time, that's okay. Just re-engage. All right, Gretchen, thank you so much for this. I always love chatting with you. Oh, I always love talking to you. I was looking forward to it. I love the juicy summer. I think that's a great thing. Yeah. I love that. Summer of juice. Summer of juice. All right, time for a recap. Takeaway one is to give your summer a theme. Pick a single word or a phrase that you want to embrace this season, something that captures the feeling you want to have over the next few months. Some other ideas that folks shared with Gretchen. Appalachian granny summer, which means a season filled with gardening, handicrafts, canning, and learning to make sourdough. Summer of America's 250th, the U.S. turns 250 years old in July. So this person will be reading books about U.S. history, incorporating red, white, and blue into their wardrobe and taking a trip to Washington, D.C. There's backyard summer or the summer of open water. And of course, there are lots of single words that you could choose to. Remember, mine is going to be juice. Takeaway two, come up with a summer bucket list. Maybe you want to try kayaking or see the sunset or sunrise at least once. Ride the ferris wheel at a summer fair. Eat corn on the cob. Make a tomato tart. Takeaway three is to come up with some sort of challenge. Like gamify your bucket list. Like I'm going to try five new types of juice or read five romance novels. And takeaway four, experience the summer through your five senses and then reflect. What does summer look like, smell like, taste like, sound like, and feel like? I'll tell you what comes to mind for me. The smell of smoke from a crackling outdoor fire and the taste of toasted marshmallows on a stick. All right, that's our show. By the way, your phone is full of distractions. Why not make sure it's also full of smart tips and good advice? The NPR app gives you access to world-class reporting, including what's on LifeKit, without a paywall. Download the NPR app today. This episode of LifeKit was produced by Claire Mauri Schneider. It was edited by Brent Bachman. Our digital editor is Malika Gareeb and our visuals editor is CJ Riegelan. Megan Kane is our senior supervising editor and Lauren Gonzalez is our executive producer. Our production team also includes Andy Tagle, Margaret Serino, and Sylvie Douglas. Engineering support comes from Damien Haring and Becky Brown. I'm Mariel Cigarra. Thanks for listening and have an amazing summer. Freaky flavor Friday. Say that three times fast. This week on Up First from NPR News, President Trump is at the G7 in France and is supposed to sign a peace deal with Iran. That deal, if it happens as planned, will have big effects on the global economy and more and we will track the changes as they unfold. On a week of major geopolitical news, listen to Up First every morning on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.