1458 - Chase is in a Female Led Relationship with a Lifestyle Domme

Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Conversations with online strangers. We place ads online. The Craigslist is definitely like the gift that keeps on giving. Real people respond. You go to Singapore or Thailand. You cannot do it. The temptation is just too much. Real followers. Your friend know that you're banging her? No. No, he has no idea. And anything goes. The motto of the show, let your freak flag fly. Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your wits and shame. Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous Podcast on Instagram or acts, follow the show at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because I change everyone's voices. People change their names. 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Sdc.com is like the world's largest online adult dating site. But it's so much more than a dating site. I mean, you can use it to hook up with people instead of threesomes and all the kind of stuff that people do on my show. But you could also use it to find out about meetups and events in your areas as well as learn stuff about the lifestyle. They have so much information on sdc.com. Even if you use my code 37712, you'll get a free trial that's 37712 or just go to the description and click on the link. And it'll take you right there and get and set you up with a free trial. So anyway, today I have on Chase. Chase is such an interesting story. And to me, it winds up to be like just this little love story that I absolutely love actually. A love story that I love. He is a total submissive. He, we start off talking about the fact that he's a penny fetish very early on. And then he gets into like wearing lingerie and stuff. But at some point he really realizes he's a submissive. And he gets really into it. I mean, this is a guy that at some point he was married and he does talk about that. But after he was married, he really like dove into his submissive side and decided to like live it up and be the submissive. And he started to go to a dungeons and meet up with pro-doms before his wife. He knew he was submissive and he did play around. He did have a threple with a lesbian couple. We talked about that and he had some experiences. But really what happens that's interesting is like after he leaves his wife, he gets into being a full submissive. Like I said, starts going to dungeons, has a great experience with a pro-dom first, right out the bat talks about that whole experience, how it happened. He gets very detailed about this first experience. And then we fast forward to when he met the pro-dom who he is dating now. I mean, they've been in a three year relationship. They're in love. Like they have a real relationship going down. But this is a woman he met on fat as a pro-dom. It didn't start out as a relationship, but it turned into one. And that's like the love story part of it, which is like super interesting. We get really deep into that whole relationship, how it went from them being pro-dom and submissive to them being in a female lead relationship. I mean, they're still like, she's still dom and him and he's still the sub, but they also go to the movies together. I mean, that's the truth. They have a real relationship. It's super interesting. Like I said, it's like a love story. It has a happy ending. I like it. Hopefully his girl's going to come on. We talked about that at the end. But anyway, I'm going to get right to you and be right back on with Chase. This is the Strictly Anonymous podcast. Strictly Anonymous podcast. Oh, hi, Chase. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm great. Thanks for having me. Thanks for calling in. I was just making jokes with you before we started taping that you're very submissive. You're kind of in like a female lead relationship with a pro-dom. And so you like really bossy women. I was like, oh, thank God, I could just like be myself and you're not going to get mad at me. Like all the people in the comment section that think I'm a bitch. Not at all. You actually like dig it. But anyway, so listen, Chase, let's get your whole story. You are in a relationship. What does that mean? Are you married to her? Are you dating her? Are you just her submissive? Is that what you mean by like, is she your dominatrix and you're her submissive? Is it that kind of relationship or is it a romantic relationship? Let's start where you're at right now. I think it's all of those things minus the married part. We are certainly in a committed relationship. We have been for about three years. I mean, I think everything you just said is encompassed in there other than the actual being married part. Right. Okay, cool. So she's your real girlfriend and everything. I mean, it's not just because listen, some people, I've talked to people who've visited dungeons and had quote unquote relationships with doms, but they're not like, they're only inside the dungeon when they visit them, that kind of a thing. They might consider that a relationship. But yours is also outside of the outside of her doming you and stuff. Like, do you go to dinner in the movies? Absolutely. We just went and saw the Mario movie. Oh, I was going to say the Michael Jackson movie. I thought it was great. Well, I saw that one. I saw that one too, but. Okay, good. You guys liked it. I love going to the movies. Okay, cool. All right. So, all right, let's go all the way back though, because you do have other fetishes and you're in, you have some kinks going on and stuff. So let's get into it. Like you have a panty fetish. You wear some lingerie. Do you want to start with like when you realize you had these fetishes? Well, I think a lot of things are foundational when you're young and you're trying to figure out the space that you're in. But certainly, I think one of the things that opened the door for me to go down the road that I ultimately ended up on was certainly panties for sure. Okay, cool. And so, what's your first memory? I mean, typically, and it's not always the case, that's why I have to ask, like a fetish will rear its head like very early on. Like sometimes like before you even, a sexual being, six years old, seven years old, I hear stories all the time. Like when was your first sort of clue that you were like into panties and wearing panties? Well, it was definitely later than that. Okay, that's interesting. I think I was probably, I don't know, maybe 10, 11, 12, somewhere in there, probably closer to 12 middle school, I think, was it. And it really revolved around a friend of my sisters that was a gymnast that used to just love to walk around and show off this gymnast body that you could probably only have in high school. And I think she did it purposely at some level, but, and I was around a lot, my sisters were older. And so I kind of was the tag along kid or I didn't have anybody watching me. And I just remember one point I walked into this girl's bathroom and there were a pair of her panties laying on the floor in a pile of clothes. And I had never, I don't think I'd ever really thought about it before, but it's something inside of me. So I did. Oh my God. It wasn't even like put them on where them, put them back, you stole them. Oh, I straight up took them. And it's funny when I think back, I was thinking a little bit about this before, before I called. And the number of her panties that I took over the years, she had, she had to have known. There's just no way, but I, you know, it's kind of embarrassing to look back. No, but let me, a lot of kids, little kids do that. I mean, if you're stealing when you're like 30, there's an issue, you're a little kid. But let me ask you a question. Is she just console? Why is she constantly? Did you have a pool or something that she was changing at your house? Like how, how were you getting her panties at your house if she didn't live with you? No, no, not her, not my house. I would tag along with my sister. Oh, so it was when you were at her house? Okay. Yeah, at her house. Oh, okay, sorry. Okay, great. All right, so you were stealing her panties. Now, did you start wearing them immediately? It wasn't long. I honestly don't remember if it was first, second, third time, whatever it was, but I would take them home and I would get in my room and try and lock down as best as I could. I had a big family, so a long time wasn't, wasn't easy to find all the time, but I would strip down and I just would feel them on my body and one of the things I think in one of your episodes I heard, you talked about how scent wasn't really a thing for most of the boys that had panty fetishes and for me, it totally was. No, not the ones that I've talked about, but that was that one guy that brought it up that it was for him, right? And I'm like, oh, I haven't heard from those guys. I'm glad that it was one for you. Because of course that's out there because it's the same with the foot fetish guy. Some people, it's very connected to smell and some people it isn't, right? Yeah. So for you, you're sniffing them too. Absolutely, and it would just overwhelm me and I just would get so hard and so excited, but again, probably only like a teenage boy could. And at some point, I don't even know what the impetus was. I put them on and I was never the same. And okay, so because it leads to being submissive in a lot of times, and it's not always, nothing is ever 100% this way, but having talked to a lot of cross-dressers and guys who wear lingerie or even sometimes hoes, like there is something about feeling more feminine and also feeling more submissive when you are wearing these things. Like did that become a part of it very early on? I don't think so. I don't even think I knew what submissiveness was at that point. I don't think, definitely never been a cross-dresser. I'm just way too much boy for that. I think it was the tactile sensation and then looking down and seeing my hardness underneath them. It just, I don't know, it was just, I part of it was certainly visual. Of course. But at that point, I definitely didn't know what submissiveness was. It took me a while to get to that, to even understand that a long time. Right, but a lot of times submissiveness comes with first feeling a little bit feminine, maybe sometimes feeling a little bit submissive, and that just you're saying came way later. Like when you're wearing though, are you looking in the mirror? Are you feeling a little bit like you're getting in touch with a part of your feminine side? Cause I feel like we all have a feminine masculine side. Okay, it's like across the board, we all kind of do, right? And sometimes like putting stuff on, like feminine clothing on, will tap your, you into that. I know I absolutely have a feminine side, but I don't think that early on that that was part of it. I am one of family or siblings of six. I have five sisters, so, and led by an extremely strong mother. So I'm sure that plays into all of it somehow, but back then I really just think it was, there was nothing boy related that was so silky and smooth and tight. And I do think it was tactile. I never really did any prancing or anything in front of the mirror or anything. I definitely looked down and I liked the way that that looked, but yeah, I don't think early on, I'm not even a hundred percent sure what it was, to be honest. Yeah, how can you? You're so little in dealing with so much. I think it takes a long time to figure shit out and really put it all together, right? First of all, your little kid when this started, I saw a lot of times I'll ask people, was it very confusing for you and stuff? Because I feel like it's a lot to take on that you have this kind of interest in your living like a secret life at such a young age. Yeah, and I think one of the things that I've heard, and not totally in every episode, but sometimes I've heard people are the result of a traumatic experience or something, and that's not part of me either. I just, I think just openness was part of our family and not that I shared any of this with anyone in my family, but I was very accepting of who I was. And as I got older, I was even more accepting. And so... So I'm assuming you never got caught? Because I mean, yeah, at a whole panty stash, like where do you hide that stuff when you're little? I did get caught at one point of my oldest sister. I had it all shoved in my closet thinking that nobody would go in my closet, which thinking back is not the smartest thing. But at that point, there had to have been 10 pairs in my closet, and she was looking for something. And she found them, and she definitely brought me in and said, who's are these? And I just tried to play dumb, and she didn't really push it. And we've never had a discussion to this day beyond that. But yeah, that was the only time. She didn't know what to do with it. I would have had a million, I feel like I would have had a million questions, but who knows, you know what I mean? You don't really know how you'd feel or how you'd react in that position. You don't. Yeah, I mean, it's probably just your sister's personality not to push it any further, which was great for you. But you never got caught again, did you throw out your stash after that? Cause a lot of times people would fetish his purge and then they go back and whatever. I do think I purged initially, so I didn't get caught again, but that was the only time I've never purged since then. I don't have a lot of guilt with it or, you know, any shame or anything like that. So I'm all good on that side. Okay, listen, spring is here. Thank God, I totally prefer the warmer weather, but with the warmer weather comes me needing to get together my whole spring wardrobe. And that means you need to get your whole spring wardrobe together too. And that's where Quince comes in. 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Head to quince.com slash strictly and non for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too, that's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash strictly and non for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash strictly and non or just go to the description and click on the link. Yeah, that's great actually. So as it progresses, right? Like when you start dating girls, I mean, do you let them in on the fact that you love to see their panties? I mean, cause it's not weird really. I don't think if you tell a girl like I love your panties, put this color on or that, you could kind of like act like you love them without, it's seeming like you like to wear them. Were you honest about you liking them on them as well as you wearing or just one or the other? Not initially and certainly not with high school or any of that. I didn't share that. I just had traditional relationships with girls in high school and no, I never shared any of that kink with them and honestly, there must have been some sort of level of draw to the anonymity of other people that you weren't dating. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but I never was overly interested unless they were on them, on the girls that I was dating. I, for some reason was drawn to people I wasn't dating. Right. Okay. Interesting. Why do you think? I'm sorry. Why do you think that's the case? I guess maybe, I guess maybe it has to do more with different levels of intimacy or still learning and not wanting to be outed with somebody that you were a go-go-ga-ga. Yeah, maybe you just kept it separate. Like maybe it was a way of compartmentalizing things for yourself and not bringing that into like your romantic relationships at that point. I think that's certainly possible and not wanting to buy. Again, I'm 51, so this was pre-internet and a lot of it I was learning on my own without the influence of what people can get today and what they can see. I was kind of treading on something that I had no background on, no understanding that other people did it or anything like that. I know, such a different world. All we had was encyclopedias and that wasn't going to give you any info on this. Remember those? I used to read it, my then encyclopedia on everything because I was always as curious as I am now, but it was torture back then. Because like you said, we didn't have any kind of information at all. And so for guys with fetishes is bad because nowadays I hear from a lot of people who listen to my show like, oh thank God I heard your show, it makes me feel not alone. Nowadays you could find out that you're not the only one. Like you're saying back then, you didn't know that. You're just like living with this. But what's interesting and I love for you is that you never felt any shame about it or anything. I didn't. Yeah, which is great, right? So do you ever get married before this relationship with the prodom, right? Like have you ever been married before or had a long-term relationship with somebody else besides this prodom? I have. Okay. I was married for a while. Okay, so like during your dating times, like or when you met your wife, did you ever let her in on it? Did she ever know that you were into this and then did you start wearing more than panties over time? Like I don't know which came first or what came next? There was, I mean she was definitely aware when we first started dating or courting or whatever you want to call it. We met on a, what was the name of the site that's been so long ago? It was very, very early. It's okay, but you met on a site like a match.com or eHarmony, some shit like that, regular dating site. No, no, no. It was, I wish I could remember the name of it. I honestly can't. What kind of app was it? Alt.com maybe? Oh, okay. So it was an alternative app. It was, it was. And so early on the, the panty part was definitely part of it. Not anything beyond that. And then just as life goes, it just, when you get mired in, in kids and things like that, and it just kind of faded away and never really came back in that particular relationship. Okay, but during that time, are you figuring out now that you're submissive and stuff with women and everything? Because that comes into play at some point. I don't know when that happens. You said it would happen later on. It was actually before I, I realized that, and again, early internet at that point, the middle school and high school stuff was pre-internet, but early internet and it's funny. The first, first person that I met that was, that was actually dominant was a couple. And it was, it was, it was a set of, they were lesbian. And I had met them through, I think that same site and that kind of opened me up because the one of the women was really, really dominant. And I just, I just felt it. Once they, we did a couple of, we hung out a couple of times and I just, I just felt what was happening. And I was like, Wait a second, were you in a threple with a lesbian couple? That kind of rhymes. It's a great title on so far. An erotica chapter story. I guess you could call it, call it that. It didn't go on for a super long time. It doesn't matter. It's interesting. But yeah, no, it was, and that's kind of where I realized that there was something more to what I was feeling than just what was happening. Right. And did you pair it though? Did it go with you wearing panties or is it more so now the submissive thing, like a full-time thing? Like sometimes I've heard from crushes is like they only feel submissive or they only want to be dominated when they're dressed up but when they're in their male form or they're not dressed, they don't feel that way. Is there that kind of split or are you always into being dumb, like being submissive? Oh, no, absolutely. I am not, it's not. A part-time thing. The panties has very little to do with it at this point. I mean, it certainly, certainly again, foundationally set me, but no, my, it's funny because I have listened to a lot of your episodes. One of the other things I hear often is the submissive boys, power people and their everyday vanilla lives. I mean, I certainly have a career where responsibility is heavily on me but I'm not like an alpha-type guy. It's just not who I am. I'm more of a natural leader and so again, I'm not like switching personas between vanilla and if you wanna call it kink or whatever. I mean, I am truly, I was meant to be who I am and I am an absolute 100% submissive guy. I just am. I love that. No, I've heard many times if that's the case but then I remember having a Dom on my show, a female Dominatrix and she was like, no, I'm fucking Dom in my regular life and Dom in my private life. Like she's Dom Dom, you know what I mean? You're sub-sub. I mean, you're gonna find it all. That's why I love talking to so many people with the same kind of kinks and fetishes because everybody is different and if you exist and you're sub all the time, there's other guys out there like that too. A lot of people aren't that way but it's never 100% like I said before, which is so true and I always find it interesting when people do or sort of like the one that goes against what most people say, what's kind of interesting that you're sub-sub always. Now, when the sub thing came up for you because he said it started before your wife. Like was your wife a very dominant person? Like, were you submissive to her? I was not in my marriage. No, that's not where it went. Okay. And so that was never a part of your life with your wife. It was not, no, but I mean, I knew before. Yeah, no, I know. And I obviously knew after. Yeah, no, it kind of went dormant. You get involved in family and kids and things like that. It just wasn't part of it. Okay, but it happened after and we're gonna get to that. But before, besides the lesbian threeple that you were in, like did you have any like truly submissive things? Like did you start seeing Dominic tricks and stuff before like your marriage or did it all happen after? I definitely didn't see any professionals until after. I think my dalliance in my submissiveness before had to do more with panties and lingerie and things like that. And experiences that I did by myself, not sharing with anyone else. Right. Okay. So I know you wind up with a Dominic tricks now and you're dating her and I can't wait to get that story. But like, let's go to like after your divorce. Is that when you go to your first like dungeon and have your first experience? Like when do you start seeing Dominic tricks? I'm assuming this one that you're dating now wasn't the first. No, absolutely not. No, it was probably within a year. You go through the whole recovery thing and stuff and you start to get back to normal and being who you are. And at that point, the internet was available. So there was more, more ability for me to research and see what was available. So I did find a prodom in Austin that I ultimately went and saw. Oh, your first girl was in Austin. Okay. And this was when I was in Austin. Your first girl was in Austin. Okay. And this was a year after you get out. Now, listen, I've heard from people about like, it was actually very surprising to me when I first talked to my first BDSM person. I thought it was like all about sex, you know what I mean? But there is a lot of preparation that goes into it ahead of time. What was like the intake that you had to do with her and then you're going to walk me through the whole experience, right? But like, how did you like, was there a lot of back and forth and mental stuff that took place before you wound up meeting her in person? There was, and I think part of it is you do your own lurking on her site, which most, most, most prodoms have a pretty extensive site of things that they're into and obviously pictures and they are true professionals. It's going to show the space itself. And so you spend a lot of time going over every word and every picture that's on there. And then ultimately you have to take the step and reach out, which is just a short email. Sometimes, and I honestly don't remember initially if this was part of it, but you express what your kinks are and kind of what you're looking for in an experience. So you send that email and she responded. And I think very quickly actually too, I think probably within an hour and her next step was a phone interview, which at that point was a little frightening to me because I had never been so open with the things that I was thinking about. But we had that phone interview and her personality was just so calming and so just welcoming and open. And I honestly, I think it was, it was a Skype. It wasn't just a phone call. It was a Skype. So you saw her? So I saw her and she could see me. And we just spent probably 15 minutes just talking a little bit about who we were and then a little bit about what I was hoping for. And then we scheduled the day. Okay, what were you hoping for? Do you remember any of the things that were on the menu? That was on the menu? I certainly wanted to be dressed and that became its own adventure prior to me getting there. I was interested in pegging. Okay. I've never been a real big CVT person. So I expressed that that wasn't really something I was interested in. And that was pre me really understanding what pain was and how pain could be used. Oh, interesting. So that changed over time. But initially, and I've always taken this approach. I never want to, what they say, talk from the bottom. I try and find people that I can trust initially and I always say, you know best. I'm gonna put myself in your hands. And I'll let you know if it gets to some place that I don't like. And she did have a safe word, I believe, when we finally got there. But so we kind of had those discussions ahead of time and then set the date. And she gave me a task that I needed to complete before I got to her. Ever find yourself like not in the mood like you used to be? I personally think it's like totally normal for your sex drive to, you know, wax and wane sometimes depending on what's going on. And that's where Drive Boost by VB Health comes in. Drive Boost is not some sketchy supplement, okay? 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What I love personally about Begecated is the fact that most of their courses include video tutorials showing real people doing exactly what you need to do. So you could totally follow along. You're not just reading about it. You learn by seeing it. And that's what I love about Begecated. And that's what you're gonna love too. So what are you waiting for? Go check out Begecated and kick off your journey by taking the Begecated quiz. All you gotta do is go to the description, click on the link and you're gonna get your own personalized roadmap to sexual happiness. Again, just go to the description, click on the link to get your personalized roadmap to sexual happiness. What was the task? I had certainly talked about my lingerie fetish and while I did have some with me, she wanted me to go to a specific spot in Austin and buy a completely new outfit for our experience. So I- She's subbing you right even before you meet her to make force you to do something like that, don't you think? It's kind of like- Correct. Yeah, that's kind of fun for a submissive, I think. So I rented a car and I drove over there because I feel like we were meeting at like two o'clock in the afternoon or something and so I needed to kind of get on with it. So I ended up having to go to this, I mean, it was a sex shop, obviously, or adult store but with a full lingerie section so I had to get there fairly early and I was the only one there besides the woman that was working there and I had to pick out basically a complete outfit stockings, a garter, I got a one-piece kind of baby doll thing and although I think I tried to play it off as I was buying a present from my girlfriend, it probably, I don't think that flew too well, it was probably pretty obvious what I was doing based on the sizes. You're not the only one though, I'm telling you those women probably, it's nice, I've seen it all, did I understand? They certainly have and nowadays, it's not even a thing. At least for me in that particular moment, it was frightening, it was somewhat embarrassing but it was a super big turn on as well. Yeah, that's what Sub's like, I mean, that's a big part of it. So she started before he even got there, now walk me through the first experience. Well, after I left the shop, I went back to my hotel and I showered and shaved and cleaned up and I put this outfit on underneath because pegging was gonna be part of it, there was some instruction on how to prep so I made sure I did that correctly, put my boy clothes on, drove, I don't know, a little bit out of town, it wasn't too far into not what I would call a sketchy neighborhood but definitely more of an industrial neighborhood. The building was a little shady. I probably, because I'm early on everything that I do, I went out, I probably sat in the car for 30 minutes before my allotted time and I'm sure I had the conversation in my head but ultimately the time came, I went to the door, I knocked, she opened it up, she was dressed in pretty much a robe, a silky robe, nothing really revealing at that point and she led me into what I would call a mud room or a foyer or whatever and she said, I'll be back in a minute, I want you to take off all of your clothes and strip down to the outfit that we've talked about, which I did and she came back in, she told me to drop to my knees to all four, she kind of inspected my body, I guess she was looking for hygiene things, I'm not 100% sure, she said we're all good and we stood up and walked into, through just kind of like a curtain into what was a real dungeon, there was, I guess every BDSM implement you could imagine, there was the St. Andrew's Cross, there was a kneeling bench, there was a, I guess, I don't know what you call it but it's a bed with a cage underneath it, it was kind of a bed on top of it with restraint points on it, it was legit. How long does a session last? Well, it's, you choose that, that's part of the plan. How long did you choose? I chose two hours. Okay, and let me ask you this, because I remember one guy saying like, oh, I never come when I'm there, I'm like, what's the point, like, why do you go, blah, blah, blah, and then I realized like there is post-nut clarity and maybe sometimes you don't want that when you're sitting in a dungeon tied up wearing panties, I don't know, like, do you not have, like, do you not ejaculate when you're there or like a sort of reach orgasm while you're there, like other people or did you reach multiple times because you're there for two hours? Well, it varies. On that particular experience, she did allow me to come at the very end. But it's not always the same and it's not wholly important to me. Right, yeah. I can go either way. Yeah, interesting. Okay, cool. So that first experience, this is like the first time you're really like doing something that you've, I was assuming, like always thought and wanted to do, like were you like blown away? Like was it like everything you imagined? Oh, it absolutely was. And again, I think it has to do with who she was. Okay. And she was being who she was, which is not always the case when you're visiting Pro-Doms. Oh, God. Is a contingent of people that are faking it and you can feel that they're faking it just for the monetary gain. And that was not the case here. She just opened things up for me and it just led me to go deeper and look at every piece of information that I could find. Again, at this point we are in an internet age and going into all the psychology of it and figuring out that even though I had lived my life solely in this respect, that I wasn't the only one. Yeah. And that's so super helpful, right? It was completely helpful. It just, it was so good. So let me ask you this, cause that's like how many years ago that you had that first experience after you divorced your wife? How long ago was that? I want to say 15, 16 years. Yeah. So a long time. So in, and how long have you been with the Pro-Dom that you're with right now? We're coming in on three years. Okay. So what goes down in between? And then we're going to get to like how you meet this one and how it turns into a relationship. Just more exploring and being more open to the things that I hadn't tried, you know, going down pain and how that would be incorporated and finding other other Pro-Doms and having different experiences with them. I don't think I ever asked for pain, but it just, in certain experiences that I had, it was part of their modus operandi, I guess I would say. And so incorporating that and just trying different things and whether it was feet or just over the next, probably close to 10 years, visiting Pro-Doms, always trying to find a more substantial relationship. As well separately. Well, I would seek people hoping that it would turn into something that weren't Pro-Doms, that were just, you know, FetLife Dom's or whatever. And that's where a lot of that faking experience kind of came in, although it did translate to the professional. Okay. Well, listen, at least you're not like a lot of people in that you sort of kept like two separate lives, right? You want to date and you want a more substantial relationship, but you're not dating on like match.com like some people do. And then going in secretly, going on FetLife and meeting people up for secret hookups, right? Like you're looking for a woman who's gonna be your real relationship outside of the bedroom inside FetLife. Like you weren't going on regular dating apps looking for vanilla. And you were looking for someone that was gonna be on the same page as you, that you could be who you are with that person, which I think is great. Yeah. And I mean, I guess the term is that's a lifestyle Dom and they are very rare. Oh, really? Very rare, but I just stayed within that, that professional side and did the best I could on, say Fet or Alts or whatever. To try and find somebody that was, was actually just truly a dominant, but that's not quite how it worked out in the beginning. So. Let's get to that point where you meet her. Like, so you find her on FetLife. That's what you said. I did. And you spend enough time on there, you can kind of begin to filter through the bullshit. And you can just by reading words and looking at profiles, you can begin to see who is who and who is truly what they say they are. And the rest of it's not, not so true, but I stumbled across her profile. And I think one of the things I remember is she said something like, there was something in there that mentioned that she was awkward and nerdy. It just drew me to her. And so I crafted a very careful, short introductory note to her. And we just started talking and went back and forth. And at that point she was, she's more of a Fendom now, but she was doing pro-dom sessions at that point. And I said, that's not really what I'm after. And it just seemed to click electronically. So ultimately we met within 30 minutes. I knew she was different. It's kind of goofy to say love it for sight or whatever. Not really. I think it's, I've heard it many times. Guys are the pickers. They know immediately when they see their girl. A lot of times that's the case. I've heard it more than I haven't heard it. You know what I mean? Seriously. Okay. Yeah. I mean, I knew. And I mean, she definitely, she flexed on me early. And I just her personality and just her- She put it all on. She gave you all of herself, you mean? Like right up the front, right up front. What did you mean by flex? Yeah. She didn't try and hide that she was a strong woman. Yeah, that's great. I remember sitting on her porch and we were just talking probably about Monday and stuff. I don't even know what it was. And she set her foot on my thigh and I, it was over. I've never been the same. Oh, I got that so funny. And was she looking like, I mean, was she also looking for a relationship at the time? Did you know or did you just go in more as like, oh, I'm a submissive, you're a dom and we could like kind of just have some fun together? No, I don't think she was looking for anything as concrete as it turned into. Yeah, interesting. She was coming out of a emotionally abusive relationship, a marriage and had just, just had found herself really over the last, the three years prior to us meeting. And it started more as I was meant to be her service sub. Okay. So I took care of things around her house. The first thing I would do when I walked in is I would clean, I would wash all the dishes. So it was that, it was me taking care. I always said to her, I said, my biggest goal is to just make your life easier. Okay. And it just kind of grew from there. Oh my God. She could literally was like right off the bat, like, okay, I want you to come clean my house, do my laundry, blah, blah, blah. And like that's like great for you. Oh, amazing. And when you say laundry, I mean, that's one of my favorite things to do for her. Oh my God, that's so great. What does she do for you? Just boss you around, I'm assuming. There's not a lot of, I don't require a lot of bossing. Yeah, just direction. Is that what you like to be directed? Yeah. That's what you said. She accepts it and accepts it's not the right word. She enjoys it and she is just the queen that she is. And then we just got deeper and deeper emotionally. I didn't get there. That's what I'm so curious about because here you are, if you're coming to our house, you're doing all these things. You knew right off the bat, you're kind of smitten with her, right? But how does it start to, start that she starts to feel feelings for you? Well, we started to spend more time together, obviously. And I would always say, I would always say I like you. Yeah. In like text messages. And at some point she said, I think you more than like me. And I kind of took that as the green light to be a little more open about how I was feeling. And I had been feeling emotionally connected to her for a long time. We took a trip to Vegas and it was the first time that we had spent uninterrupted days together. And just her whole being consumed me. It was funny. I totally remember one part. We went down to Fremont Street to get off this trip. And we were walking underneath, I don't know if it's Fremont Street, but it's a old Vegas. And we're walking down Fremont Street. And I am holding her arm like I'm her prom date. She's clearly in charge. Right. And just it coursed through my body that her aura, people looking can tell that she's leading us and I'm following. And it just, I was home. Yeah. And so, but did you feel that she was home too? Did you start to feel that? I did, not early on. I thought, is this gonna go where I think it's gonna go? But then she opened up. And I mean, we've definitely gone through some different, she's a little bit different than me emotionally, but within, I don't know, a year, I could tell that she was home as well. She had never been so valued. Yeah. And she had never been so cared for. And there were some stupid life things where she had some problems at her house like a power pole fell and ripped out of her house. And I was able to step in and take care of it. And I think it showed that when, and I know that doesn't sound hard, but it was hard financially. And, you know, I could step in and make sure it was right. And she knew that I was there for her and she knows that to this day. Yeah. And that's very attractive to a woman. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And also because I know that you said early on, like you could tell the difference between someone who's like being authentic compared to not. Obviously she was authentic and this is who she was. So for her to find a guy that really accepts her in every way, right? It was probably really amazing for her because I don't know what her previous relationship was, but I think a lot of guys wouldn't be able to maybe deal with a pro-dom, you know what I mean? No, and it was, there was definitely a period where I wasn't sure where I fit in. And, but over time, I realized that I was hers and that I was her primary. And she obviously began to tell me these things. And it, I am a very emotional being and I do require sometimes a little bit more than some guys do, but I, she had never been, I think one of the things that she said is she says, I had never felt like I was enough. Interesting. And I feel that with you. And so it just, I don't know, it's a mix. And then we had talked about what an FLR was, a female lead relationship. But it wasn't like we were trying to check boxes. It just, it just, she is who she is and I am who I am. And it just, it's just, it's just better for her to make decisions and to direct us. And yeah. And a lot of guys would be very intimidated by that. And they're missing out. Yeah. There you go. There's someone for everybody, right? That's what they say. And I believe it. It's very true. I mean, you guys fit like a glove really. It's like perfect. Now, so, so eventually she falls for you. And then how is it? Because she's into Findom, but you're not, which means she financially dominates other men and stuff. So I'm assuming she's still pro-doming other guys. Like how is your relationship, your female lead relationship with her set up? Does she live with you? Does she live separate? We do live separate. Okay. Just more because we are, I mean, we're in the same geographical area, we're an hour and a half away from each other. We both have kids in school that we're dealing with that we're not gonna uproot, try and start over at this point. Right. That makes sense. So it can be challenging at times for me. Everything she does is online. But I can't, I can't, like I really can't be a part of that because the men that are going to be drawn to her are not going to be drawn to her if they know she has a significant other. So I have to watch that from a little bit of a distance. I mean, I have access to it all, but so it kind of operates in its own world and she doesn't technically probably need to do it at this point, but it is part of who she is. And I guess she does a little bit. She doesn't want to feel dependent on me or anything like that. And she does enjoy it, but it's different. Right. And so is that, but you're saying it's kind of hard sometimes to be sort of like a private and not able to be like her guy in public. And she has these other guys go and like, and stuff, is that what you're saying? Yeah. And where I want to celebrate her on something that she posts, I have to be careful about what I say. Cause I don't want to drive for lack of a better term clientele away from her. And dudes just aren't going to probably be as drawn to her if they think she's in a committed relationship. I mean, some boys are okay with that, but your typical internet, internet dude probably isn't down with it. Yeah. But like, how do you see your future with her? Like, because she does this for her job, right? At some point, would you, if you could, when the kids are out of school and or out of the house and hers as well, like, could you see yourself like living with her and maybe saying, Hey, you don't have to work anymore or do that. And you could just like be my Dom, you know what I mean? And support her so she lives with you and she doesn't have to do this stuff on the side. Cause I'm assuming she still does it because she, she's got a house and she has kids and, right? Have you ever thought like way down the line? Oh, a hundred percent. We plan it all the time. Yeah. And so what's the plan? Where are we going to live? What house are we going to build? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I love that. We're going to grow old together on the front porch. Yeah. I'm still going to be folding her laundry. And she's going to be crafting in her crafting room. Right. But at that point, she, right. But at that point, she's not going to have the other guys. Correct? No, no, I don't think so. Right. I think, I think part of it is, is, is truly necessity. Yeah. And part of it is that she does enjoy extracting from the male population that probably deserves being extracted from. Yeah. She's getting back because of her last ex-bad husband. She's getting back at all guys. But no, we, we plan and talk about our future all the time. Well, wow. So how many years, like how, how much longer do you guys have before your kids are out and you think you guys could technically move in together? I've got four years before my last one's out and she's got three. So. Oh, that's not bad. And people, young people don't understand that are listening. But when you're old, like life goes by so fast, like one year goes by in two fucking seconds. So that's like, that'll be here in no time. Do you know what I mean? It's not that long. You know what I mean? To wait. Right. 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's kind of, this is kind of like a love story. I kind of like it. It is. Yeah. Yeah. Would she ever call in? I think so. I would love to talk to her. We talked about it. She knows what I'm doing right now. Yeah. I asked her if, if there was anything that she really wanted me to make sure I mentioned. And she said, this is your story. You, you tell it. I know it. And I wouldn't be surprised if she would. I would love to hear her story, too, because there's always that I want to hear her story about you as well as I love the Findom thing. It's so interesting to me. And she has a history like before you. And I'd love to know what was going on for her when she fell for you. Right. Because she had plenty of guys before you. Like this is like, how does that happen on her side? I know how it happened for you, but I think it's always interesting to get the same story from somebody else because you're two different people. So she's going to have the whole love story coming from her, which I think is super interesting. And we always say the universe gets it right every once in a while. Yeah, I think so. Listen, I always, we, we had a like, me and Leila did an episode recently of like, oh, deal breakers. I don't like, was it a deal breaker? If someone's been divorced once or twice or three times. And I've heard it all on my show and like a lot of times it could be the second one, the third one. I have a guy just the other day I'm posting tomorrow. He hits the fourth one is the charm. But you know, eventually you get it fucking right. And I think that that's great. Great for her, great for you. And so great that you guys have this future planned. And what's really great, I think, because I have a fetish Friday, so I've been talking to guys with fetishes for so long. And it's very rare that guys are able. And same thing for her, too. She's in this category for people to just really be able to be truly who they are within a romantic relationship as well. You know what I mean? Like a lot of times it's very separate. They're kinks and their fetishes from their real relationships as well as who they really are. They keep it from the partners or they never think that they could find somebody that would accept them. And it's amazing that both of you guys found each other. You're lucky. Yeah, I am. I am blessed. I am lucky. It's we definitely have some rituals that we keep in there. I am. I am her submissive. She's my love. I'm her love. But I am also her submissive. So, you know, it's not all emotional. There is some physicality in there. Of course. But I wouldn't say so much lucky. I think that a big part of why you were able to attract somebody, I think a lot of times is because like you were at the point where you really were OK with who you are and what you're into. Like you have, like you said, many times, like have no shame about it. You dug in deep. You realize like who you were and what it's all about. You were very clear. And I feel like when you're at that place in your life, you tend to it. It's more likely that you're going to meet somebody who's going to reflect that back to you, meaning when you feel OK with who you are and you are fine with who you are, you're going to find somebody that feels exactly the same way. You know what I mean? 100 percent. Yeah, no, I agree. And I think it's that reflection. Right. Yeah, totally 100 percent. So I don't think it's luck. I think it's because you fucking owned it. You knew who you were. You accepted it and you weren't trying to live a secret life like you were. It was integrated. You were 100 percent like who you were and that's why you showed up and you met somebody. Same thing for her too. You know what I mean? I love that for her as well. So thanks so much for calling in and telling your story. Like I said, it's like a little love story. So it's like kind of lovely. I like it. Oh, thanks for having me. It was fun to actually express it and have somebody and maybe other people listen to it. Oh, yeah. And listen, just so you know, wait until you hear because a lot of times I forget to say this to people, but really the truth is like you have this one experience because you're talking about your story and you know your story and you're talking with me and we're having a conversation. But when you hear your story from the outside and hear yourself as the third person, it's going to be a totally different experience for you. Even better. Do you know what I mean? Wait till you see it. And it's the same thing for me sometimes when I'm editing. I hear the thing so much different because I'm outside of it, but definitely for people, they always have the experience of like really feeling even more emotional in a certain ways when they hear their story, like I said, outside of themselves. So you're going to enjoy it. Listen to it with your girl. And if she's listening, take the link from him and book a time to call in because I want you on my show. Okay. That's for your girl. Absolutely. Absolutely. I can't wait. All right. Awesome. Thanks, Chase. Thanks so much for calling in. Cheers. Have a good day. You too. Bye. The world moves fast. You work day, even faster, pitching products, drafting reports, analyzing data. Microsoft 365 co-pilot is your AI assistant for work built into Word, Excel, PowerPoint, and other Microsoft 365 apps you use, helping you quickly, right? Analyze, create and summarize. So you can cut through clutter and clear a path to your best work. Learn more at Microsoft.com. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called strictly anonymous confession, secret sex lives of total strangers is now available, not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audio book. It's still not going to be out till August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories to each other. So you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories and they're all told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audio book is available. Coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my discord. My discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you'd get into my discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you could win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my discord. It's private. Like I said, all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audio book, the ebook or the paperback. Send it to me at strictlyanonymouspodcastatgmail.com. I will send you the link to discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in.