Ep 72: Playroom Virgins? Surviving Your First Swinger Club Playroom

Find us at vanilla swingers.com and you'll find Kat's only fans page there too. You wish. Hey Kat. Yeah Leo. I'm going to record one of those silly disclaimers that you put at the beginning of the podcast. Real advisory sticker. Let's go because this is going to be explicit. Oh yeah we're going to talk about lots of sex. Lots of bad language. We might even have sex on the podcast. We might have. Listening to the noise of our love making. There might be nudity. But you can't see it on the podcast. Doesn't matter. You can hear it. You can hear the nudity. We might corrupt you if you're under the age of 18. That's the disclaimer. Don't listen. We're not professional. What else? And yeah we're not professionals. We know nothing. Absolutely nothing. And if you want to try to sue us? Well we don't have any money either. Because this is bite-size and commercial free. We're not trying to make any money. It's fun. So if you like it then tune in and listen. Yeah. Word. And now for my next trick I will produce a pair of leopard print panties from my pocket. Courtesy of Pusher DeLore. Might have happened. Yeah. Momentos are fun especially when they're being worn in the moment as we're getting dressed after some coyote bliss. I'd like those panties and someone gives them to you. They're really hot kind of skimpy sheer leopard print panties. Woo. I've heard what Leo wants Leo gets. And that was a last minute MFF because we had an MFM with Shy Guy, Bale and Cancel and Cat decided I'm going to turn my lemons into some lemonade. And you made some Thruppalade. Thruppalade. It was really yummy. It was sweet with a little bit of sour. I've been carrying the panties around in my pocket. You have not. Yes I have. Oh my gosh. I don't know where else to put them. You're going to have to make some more room in your momento box. No I bought a second momento box. Did you not know that? We had too many things. We've got a water bottle. We've got ice tongs. It's ridiculous. We have quite a few pairs of underwear actually. But these are the hottest pair by far. Well it just keeps getting better and better every time we see her. The next thing we have planned, I can say it because this isn't going to come out until after we actually do it. It's a surprise to her. She has no idea. Drum roll please. Oh shit. Get your towels ready. It's about to go down. We're going to go stay in one of those cool unique Airbnbs. I got my swim trunks and my flippin' floppies. On a boat. On a boat like Leo. If you own the show, then you show not me old. We're going to stay on a boat. I'm on a boat. I'm on a boat. The boat doesn't go anywhere but we're going to sleep on the boat and we're going to have some thrumple vibes. On a boat. So excited. Yeah we're going to have a week and a half. That is going to be a lot of fun. Funny because she just sent a photo of herself on a friend's yacht saying this is where we should go. I really want to have some fun on a boat. Red or mine. I'm going to have to bring up some receipts and show her. One of the neat things I think that we've decided is when things start to get a little more serious and you start seeing somebody, you get to know them in a very three-dimensional way. It becomes very friendly. One of the best things to do is to constantly shake it up and make new things happen. It shouldn't always be let's go to my place. Let's go to your place. Let's go to the same hotel. Because that's boring. I already have Leo in my bed every night. I need to shake it up a little bit. Are you saying I'm boring? Yes. Just wanted to clear that up for the record. I need two dicks in the bedroom. Okay. Thank you very much. Because I think we touched on that in a previous pod that especially with the singles that when you get together, remember to use those opportunities to treat it almost like it's a date because going out is part of the experience. I mean I say it's mostly for the single gals. Yeah fair enough. I mean a single guy would probably be happy just meeting us at our hotel and leaving when they busted an F. Yeah it's pretty base take. I mean whether you're going out for drinks or you're going out axe throwing. I want to go axe throwing and I also want to go naked bowling. I'm going to put those panties up on the wall and throw the axe. How about darts? We could play some darts. Maybe I'll throw them in the air. Try to hit them in the air. Okay. Darts. Like skeet shooting right? Darts? That sounds like something you do in Cork Ireland. I don't know. It could be hot. A smoky dark pub. We're going to play some darts I tell you. It's also for us, it's why the lifestyle is so fun is because we're doing things that we wouldn't normally do because you know it's our normal vanilla life. That's a good point. Not only that, we're also cheapskates and so there's a lot of things that we wouldn't do. You're like honey. Suddenly you're like hey we're going on a boat. You can have sex with me in our marital bed okay. We don't need to go pay money to go stay on a boat. Boring. I'm not boring. The neat part about that though is there's a lot of excitement that we get out of it of course because we're going on a boat. Although what was a lot of fun, there's a couple of really really really fun things about our MFF with her this most recent. First of all she said yes when we said spontaneously on a work night can you get away. Want to get away? And she did and she said yes. Secondly, Leo and I had the most amazing pre-play and post-play reclamation and preclamation sex. Yes we did. You're just busting a nut everywhere in the morning at night in the afternoon I'm like oh my god. I was actually edging for the record. But after the day, yeah you were edging. After yes. Say hello to my new friend. I was busting. I don't edge. I decided I don't edge. That is not my game. I like to have lots of orgasms. Lots. Oh. And lots and lots. Oh god. And third thing, I have a really bad sexting kink. Oh man. Does she ever? You know we always tell you guys don't ever sext. I'm not putting you on a timeout. It's true. You shouldn't sext because you get kind of emotionally connected. But my cheat code is I'm on my third sexter with somebody I've never met and probably never will meet. Yeah they're like 8,000 miles away. And it kind of feels like okay this is kind of safe. I bring them into the bedroom in a sexty way for like an hour or hour and a half of our MFF. Oh my god. Shelf kiss. If you slide into Cass DMs and you start texting sexting kink. Oh it's such a kink. And Leo's fine with it in the moment because it entertains me while we're in the middle of our three way. It brings in a carnal energy like this raw male energy for me so that I'm even more engaged with you guys. I'm telling the play by play. Well we were in Vegas the other week and we had Hottie Hozier pop in and she was on our playlist listening. That was the only time we've had a girl come in as a ride along to one of our sexts campaigns. And I told you the next day it literally felt like we had somebody else in the room. And we weren't sending photos. We weren't sending videos. Although the guy I was sexting was sending me a lot of dick pics and a lot of dick videos that were really hot. But that doesn't mean that has a hotie Hozier. I was just giving her the play by play and it was really hot. So you know you've been in a drought lately. We're on the other side of saw swap to full swap. And I haven't had but one real full swap so I can't give you guys any advice. So let's sit here and give everybody a lot of advice on how to be a full swap couple when we've had exactly one. And it's been like I think it's been seven or eight weeks now. It's a little depressing. On the other hand you can give a lot of full swap advice because you've had a whole lot more than one. Are you throwing shade? I am throwing shade. I'm throwing shade. OK. I just know that it's going to make you so much more generous in the whole ball of wax. But I'm actually nervous about our next you know. Rusty right now. I'm so rusty. I feel like I'm the 10 girl. Yeah you are the 10 girl. And it seems like almost with the summer I have this weird theory that maybe everybody's planning to go away trips and different things. So therefore the app hookups are a little harder in the summer. Yeah. It's definitely more of a challenge because the summer before we were the ones out of town and so we would just play with people randomly at clubs all summer long. Yeah. I'm thinking things are looking up because today you had the bastard son of Russell Crowe. He's come into our town. Looks just like Russell Crowe. My name is gladiator. But a younger version of him. This town's drier than a nuns Vajayja. And you know the neat thing about that is you're the only game in town. I know right. And I'm a cute game right. Although rusty. We're still going to hit up porn boy when next in two weeks. I'm going to get him. You were actually looking up some kind of porn thing. He was I don't know what he was looking at. He keeps popping up. He's on the cover of a brassers video cover. Damn it. I'm going to get him. I'm going to get him in my bed guys. I'll just say his name. What do you think? No. We're going to mention his name only if he plays with us multiple times and then we're going to give him exposure. And he's going to keep on coming. He comes up. He look up like Milf step mom. There he is. Cover photo. You know feels pretty strongly. It's actually going to happen. Oh it's going to happen. He's not just. He's got his eye on you. Yeah. Well because he's also active on a lot of the apps. And let's talk about the fact that we're on the other side of episode 69. We'll call this what episode 69 and a half. I think it should be 69 and a third. Oh because I like thirds. Yeah I like that. You like thirds. And we're getting a lot of feedback and it's been overwhelmingly positive. So as much as we worried about telling you guys I do feel such a sense of relief. If we're a little sus we're a little sus and it's really a freeing feeling. Yeah. So we're one of the most. A few fantastic DMs today from a long time listener. And one of the things they said is that they were worried that when we took two weeks off that maybe something happened. Now didn't we say something in the previous. We did. We told you guys if we take time off it means we're playing more potting less. So we hoped that that would help alleviate any worries. We're going to get to a hundred. I promise. And I'll tell you anecdotally we have some other long-time listeners who just said this week that they just caught up on the episode before we took off the break. Oh my gosh. They are like fantastic friends of ours. You're not caught up which makes us think we're going a little fast. And if we take off every so often like a week we're going to do it. It actually gives you a little bit of a chance to catch up. A little bit of breathing. And it gives us a chance to take a break because it's a lot of damn work. It is a lot of damn work. It actually you might not realize that it's a lot of work. But you know the website website alone the amount of work that goes into it is almost like doing another pod. Yeah. We don't have anybody doing that for us. That's all us. How many people ever even visited probably nobody go to our website. We put a lot of work into that. The photos are all Leo and all the words and the blog is me. So have a look. There's a whole lot more than meets the eye. We appreciate all the listeners out there that have been giving well wishes and letting us know that they welcomed our transparency and just kind of coming out and letting them know what's what with our current situation ship. I like situations ships. I like situations ships too. Speaking of are we really going to get Tick Tock Broccoli here fuck boy and fly him from Bogota to Miami. That's the plan. He said he would be my sex slave if I could just fly him to Miami. We thought huh we like Florida. We get to Florida from time to time. I think that makes you a sugar mama. He said he would. Did you say he was going to be my sugar baby. I think you're going to confiscate his passport when he gets in the country. We figure the amount of money we spend bringing somebody on board the bliss cruise really it would pale in comparison to just bring him to Miami for two nights and I'd have him for two whole nights. And speaking of the listener that said they just needed to catch up. They shot their shot today. They did shoot their shot. We have so much going on in the course of a day. We get a lot of couples that we're really great friends with shooting their shot and I will have to say we're terrified of couples. Well first of all we're flattered and second of all we're not really playing with couples right now but don't let that keep you from shooting your shot because you never know when you might catch us. One exception and that was Wisconsin. Wisconsin. But that was nine months in the making and that was just kismet. Yeah everything just went right. Mr. and Mrs. Wisconsin. We're looking at you guys. We're about to hit Vegas and we're going to meet some other long time listeners. The main reason we're going to Vegas this time is because our Hottie Hozers they're friends of the North from Canada. I've been fantastic lifestyle besties with her since like January. Take over. And she said she'd be in Vegas in October so we just decided randomly a couple months ago bam booked it. We're going to be there at the same time. We don't have the first inkling of what we're going to do with that. This is called foreshadowing. Oh my God we don't play with couples but we're going to meet them. We're going to have some drinks. We're going to have some fun. foreshadowing happens when clues in a story hint at future events. We have such a phobia. I don't know. It's just it's very real. I like work to thaw that out. Three in a bedroom. It's very different than four. Oh it's completely different. When we thought that Bogota boy, Tiktok boy was going to be in our bedroom and bringing a girl with him. I even said to Leo they're not like really an item. It's more friends with benefits but at the end of the day they're going to be distracting us from each other and we do like to be attached. Like if we're with. Pushe galore. Pushe galore. I might be on his back like a spider monkey. You know I'm attached to him. Naughty nanny in Vegas actually say that one time while I was on top of her and she said where's cat and I had to tell her she's on my back right now. You were like a spider monkey. And whereas if you're with a couple you are side by side and you're not really as engaged with each other. Speaking of you know who was the first to pull that on the back move. Pushe galore. That's right. It was. The first night we got together she ended up climbing on my back. I actually do the move because of her. I liked it so much. So you learned it from Pushe. I did. I did it for her this last get together. That was a new move for her. Not for me. You did the upside down 69. Oh that's right. I got a video and neither of you knew I was videoing and oh my god it was so hot. Come on that's my signature move. That's great but she has to video me doing it now because I don't have a video of me. But I don't do it for everybody. You've done it like twice. How is it my signature move I've only done it twice. Because you did it with. I might have done it more than twice. God what's her name. You haven't done it that often. I think I'm going to bring the whole Hugh Hefner outfit on the boat. Oh my god that's hilarious. That's hilarious. And the robe. That'd be dope as hell. I'm going to totally do that. Oh my god you're going to totally surprise her. I'm going to bring the Playboy Bunny outfit. Okay let's do it. At this time instead of kind of the flowy black lingerie I'm going to bring the tight black one. You know what was cool was not this time but the time before last that we saw her you brought some of your dress up outfits and she threw one of those outfits on. I think she wore my bunny ears. That's right. Yeah that's a mind fart. We didn't have as much time this time. We didn't even meet at a bar. We just met straight at the hotel had some drinks talked kind of got all touchy feely before we made it to the bed because you know she has vanilla responsibilities and we were supposed to get her out of there by midnight. So next time we're going to be doing some spooning is what you're saying. Yeah she's spending the night so full on sleepover. Hell yeah boy. I'm on a boat. I'm on a boat. Take a good hot look at the motherfucking boat. Is that what you're going to be singing while we're on? No I'm going to be singing. Happy birthday to me. Happy birthday to me. Maybe I'll be singing some Sinatra. I did it my way. Do you see what I have to put up with? It's time for me to have some MFMs though. And the great thing about Husser, Husser the Lord is she feels for me. She knew I got a cancellation from Shaga. Yeah that actually brings up an interesting point. This is like a mini rant and I'll tell you what. I've read something today that they said what's a green flag when it comes to dating a girl. And somebody's response was when she can just be genuinely happy for you and it's not a competition. Right okay. And I think that kind of brings up an interesting point in the lifestyle. So many people live by their highlight reel. Yes and they gloss over any of the lowlights or the bumps in the road. And we try really hard to show you all the warts and all because it is not all rainbows and butterflies. Yeah like for instance. Cat right now is on a six week going on seven week drought. No it's seven going on eight. Damn it. Dude okay. Yeah. I'm so rusty I creak. Like I'm getting to be as dry as a nuns of a JJ. Loop me up. I'm just going to dip you in a Vaseline jar. I think you said that you just hardly even care anymore. You're just not even on the app. I actually decided I was going to have more fun with my sexting kink and sext my guys who are like thousands of miles away because I was getting more out of that than the endless swiping on the apps and just feeling like oh what is it even all for. And I told you again that just out of solidarity you said I want to quit. I would quit for a while and but I don't like that because every time you say quit it just means we both quit and I say instead of quitting you need to redouble your efforts to help me. You actually told me I need your help because I'm getting you're getting ground down. I'm the one on the apps and normally I have a head of steam and I still have a head of steam for the gals. I am just tired of the guys straight up. A total fair point. It's your turn. You're not wrong to feel that way because they universally suck at those soft skills. I know I could get somebody who's 45, 50, 55. Easy peasy. I just don't want that. There's no question. I'm lazy in that department and I need to do better. So I'm going to do better by you. Part of the reason is because I spend so much time working on the pod. That's because he's a perfectionist. I told him you're letting perfect be the enemy of good enough. You should just be good enough. I'm good enough. No you're not good enough. I am. I'm good enough. I'm Ken enough. You're perfect. I'm Barbie enough. You're my perfect soulmate. I'm the one that spends like five minutes getting out of the house. Okay. But to the point, you know, we do get a lot of people that reach out to you and you're their spicy diary and they usually tell you about their highlights. And one of the things that we like to do is we like to tell people that we're really happy for them and we try to celebrate their wins with them. I really like to celebrate people's wins, especially when I've seen some of their losses. I'm even more excited for their wins when they're showing me their works. Yeah, but otherwise it's not a realistic representation. Nobody has a highlight reel for a lifestyle life. Every time you get approached, it's with this is the best thing that's ever happened to me. It's the best experience there ever was. It can sometimes be difficult because in your lizard brain, you do find you're human, right? A small part of you says, well, I want that. Why not me? The best experience as well. Right. And of course, as soon as somebody tells me about something, I'm imagining the most perfect situation in my mind. Like the most handsome guy ever. It's exactly what's in my mind as perfection. And I'm sitting here thinking, why am I not getting that? Our minds really do such a disservice to us because when it comes to that lizard brain, what happens is when all the facts are not known, we fill them in with the most fantastical dreamscape, outrageous fantasy. It's true. Even though our gut knows damn well, damn well, that it's probably something a little bit less than that. And so hopefully the people you surround yourself with, especially in the lifestyle, are not just giving you their highlight reels because it's going to make you feel bad about yourself. It's going to make you question what's going on maybe in your particular sphere. And you want to be surrounded by people who are happy for you, but also commiserate with you and empathize with you when things aren't going right. Well, I think it's normal when somebody's got some new relationship energy coursing through their veins, they want to share it with somebody. And a lot of times they don't have anybody else that they can share it with. I don't mind being people's spicy diary, but if it's spicy diary, NRE after NRE after NRE after NRE, and you're like, where are the oofs? Then I don't think I'm getting the full story. And so for newbie couples out there, I think it's really important for you to try to keep it balanced. You can't always just tell people about your wins without including at least some of the losses. And we feel the same way. We could just gloss over all the crap we go through and just tell you about all the wonderful things because there's a lot of wee moments. But that would be disingenuous to not tell you that we're having a post full swap episode and cats in a drought of eight weeks. She's had exactly one. Do you know that I haven't gone this long since Lana and we had an exclusive arrangement. And so that just goes to the point that I think you're more happy to hear people's highs when you also hear about some of their lows. And that is why we try to show you guys the warts and alls because otherwise you get tired of hearing us. I would get tired of hearing us. I'm already tired of hearing us. So we're just going to give you the warty, witchy ways. You know what also we're doing because we are in a bit of a drought and I've been pretty lazy. I'm like, I don't even care about the apps. You came up with the idea. We stopped churning. We need to churn. So we're going to go to a club this weekend. We're going to go and we're probably not going to find what we're looking for, but it's going to get us into that sexy lifestyle vibe. It's just going to kind of push us. I think that we recall that when going to the clubs, that that was part of our lifestyle process and journey that a lot of times we would find a gym, sometimes in terrible clubs, and those things serve to help to fill in the slope here. And even if we don't find a gym, just to be in a club and feeling sexy and having people desire you, even if you're not going to choose them and do anything with them, it's probably solved for the soul. And it's also good practice because we have a meet and greet next week. I think that with the apps, we've been spoiled that we've gotten to the point where we've tried to find exactly what we're looking for. We don't even do meet and greets with people we think are iffy. We're like, eh, we're not even going to do that. We're getting really lazy. Now, you crazy degenerates actually went and single handedly helped us win podcast of the year. And apparently they actually have hardware and they're going to mail it to us. I know we're going to get a trophy. How cool is that? That is pretty cool. We're going to put it in the memento box. I was a little worried. I'm like, how are you going to mail that? Because you can't mail it with our pod name. I mean, I can't have my postman knowing what you're the vanilla swingers. Yeah, that would be an awkward conversation. That would be super awkward. So hopefully it will just have my name on it and that'll suffice. We'll take a picture of it. We'll throw it up on Insta. I read something today that was pretty interesting. Like what? It was just sort of a random nugget. Talking about OG swingers, I think how they regard some of the newbies and in particular. We're not OGs. We're still newbies. You haven't even gotten out of the driveway. You're the lowest miles full swap girl in the lifestyle. I know. I think I've backpedaled that. I think I'm just going to go back to soft swap now. I'm all done with that. That was a little bit of a lark. I'm all done. You made an interesting comment about podcasts. And I think he also is doing a bit of an indictment on newbies in general. And I'll read it off because I think it gives an interesting insight into how veteran swingers look at some of the new kids on the block. OK, we've been at this for decades. And every podcast we've tried listening to is full of really bad advice. People who showed up 20 minutes ago telling everyone how things should work, maybe put in a few decades of lived experience first. We listen to our elders, not our equals when we arrived. Maybe that's why we're still here and they're all gone. What do you think about that? I think they sound like some oldies. I know we started with you guys. OK, I'm going to reread it then. Maybe put in a few decades of lived experience first. What say with you? I think it sounds like much oldies. I don't know. I want to play with some young people. So I've got a theory. This is sort of along the lines of how we talk about single guys in the lifestyle and how a lot of husbands are super vocal in their enmity towards single males. And one hypothesis that we've heard before is that some husbands don't like the competition. I heard somebody say about that and they said, just don't tell me without telling me that you guys are attending a two couple. And so therefore you being the two, you can't handle the competition that the single guys are bringing. That was another podcaster. I won't say who, but they run some hot wife events. He's a little bit of an abrasive sort, but I think it was a merit. And essentially, it's because it is true that a lot of single males, depending on where you look, they can be some of the more fit. They can be a little bit on the younger side. Even if they're older, they're probably some of the more fit ones. Because what else do they have to offer? I've heard it said before that even their dick size may be a little bit more than average. Mainly it's because all of these qualities help them to stick around in the lifestyle. Because maybe you don't last for very long. Otherwise, a husband's not going to compete with porn boy. Well, husbands don't have to try as hard. They're coupled and I think they feel that way. And so there's some merit to that. I'm not saying that's the entire reason, but maybe some of the husbands that are the most vocal critics of single males, maybe it is true that they do see them as a bit of competition. Yeah. And I think in some small way, there's a resentment because effectively, that's what he's voicing that you've got these new kids on the block showing up. Oh, what do you guys know? We don't know anything and we're not professing to know anything. I think it's somewhat of euphemism for the younger people coming into the lifestyle. And I think that I can understand that mindset a little bit where at one time, you are at the top of your game and age is going to get us all and age is coming for all of us. No matter how much of a hot shot we think we are, no matter how hard you try to hide from it, father time is undefeated. It comes for all of us. And I think the people who feel like maybe the sun is setting on their house. The on days. That's a big word for you. You need to be. Did you look at what's up here? Chattie, the team. Chattie, he's been irritating you lately. He actually hear him pounding away. Fuck, what are you doing? I'm having an argument with Chattie. Well, see, that's because a lot of stuff I do is NSFW and I keep bumping up against its guard rails as much as I do your cervix. Did you go against my cervix? That's a hot or against the back of my throat. If I have a vibrator, you can hit me anywhere you want to hit me. Yeah, that's actually true. I have very good vibrating capacity. But maybe we'll feel that way when we get to that point. Maybe we'll look back and we'll feel the same way. We will. We'll look back. Maybe entering the lifestyle. You absolutely feel a little bit of a loss for the bygone days, those days of your youth. It's a loss. Well, I think especially as it pertains to something as live wire as the lifestyle, it's addictive. It is wildly addictive. And we are definitely a little more even keeled, but we're no less addicted and no less obsessed. And I really wouldn't have it any other way. As podcasters, we don't know nothing. No, we definitely don't know anything about podcasting. We're still in a car. OK. 69 episodes just to get to a full swap. Yes. And so we decided the 69 and a third episode. We're going to talk more about going from soft to full because it really deserved two episodes. And I think at the end of the day, we should all exercise a little more humbleness and patience towards some of the veteran swingers that have been around the block before us, because they have a lot to offer. I think they do have a lot to offer. They're not going to listen to our drivel, but that doesn't mean they don't have a tremendous amount to offer if you meet them on a bliss cruise. I don't think they're a target audience. Oh, they wouldn't listen to our stuff. Probably if somebody paid them to. So what are we talking about tonight? Nothing. Whole lot of nothing. Sounds good to me. OK. Yeah, let's go home. I didn't want to do this podcast anyway. No, stop. Stop it. If we're not playing, we're potting. So we're going to be potting. See, the thing is, is that cat often has to try to twist my arm to do the pot. I know, because if we ever quit, it's going to be his fault, not my fault, because I really like doing it. It's a lot of work. I know he does more work on it. I just talk. It may. We're going to talk about playrooms for dummies. This sounds perfect for me. It does, because when you first go to a sign club and you first go into the playroom, you're terrified. Yes. Yes. Well, I heard you say it. So I think that was cheating. OK, by me, sweetie. I'm by you, sweetie. Let me tell you something. Alabama Roll Time. I blame you guys for cats insidious addiction to Muffin. Do you know the muffin girl, the muffin girl, the muffin girl? You know that naughty ended in July, and I probably haven't been without chocolate muffins since that time. It's really bad. The muffin girl who lives on threesome lane. I'm going to turn into a muffin. I'm eating the damn muffins now. No, aren't muffins like a little bit of a pseudonym for your VJJ? My muff. That's a good question. Right. Muff diving. Yeah, Muff Diving, Muffin Diving. Muff Diver. Yeah, just stick it down there. Muff Dive. It'll taste like chocolate. Well, you were just talking today with Pusha about how she said that you taste really good. She said it tasted like water. And you guys are over here while I'm working and you're exchanging feminine hygiene tips. I know because she wants to make sure maybe that she tastes good for me. Now, I'm going to sit here and tell you that girl friend is the spaces in between. Best energy, you know, it's like we're having girlfriend talk. How is this my life that my wife is exchanging? You're telling her, well, there's this pH balance wash that you can use. I basically squirted on my finger and I stick it up in my VJJ and I switch it around and then I'm all clean and smelling nice. Go ahead. Tell me what it is. It's got 30,000 reviews. I don't know what it's called. It's in my cart. I just buy it again and again. It's lovely. It's called like VH something. I got no idea. It's like some boric acid slash tea tree oil. It's nice because before we got into the lifestyle, you know, you always smell good. You smell really good. I thought you were going to say you stunk. You stunk like a skunk. I was waiting for that. It was only on Wednesday. Just got back from the gym. Stop it. Didn't want to say anything. I didn't. I don't stink ever. But these days, when you're about to go into a play environment, it's go time. And you better make sure you smell like fresh cinnamon buns, fresh out of the oven. Well, I do have some new perfume that you bought me, Billy Eilish perfume. And it smells like cookies. And so I sprayed on my lingerie. And last time we were with Pushy Galore. Pushy Galore. I climbed on top of her and we were making out and she said, you smell so good. And I realized it was my perfume. But did I ever think that I'd be sitting here giving feminine hygiene recommendations on a pod? No. Hi, mom. Yo, mom. You must be so proud. Did you ever think we'd be talking about our sex life to the world? No. Yeah, that wasn't on my bingo card list. So guys, you got some sweaty nuts. Go ahead and sprinkle on a little gold bomb by vanilla swingers. Is that our first ad? I don't know how people sit through that. I don't either. Oh, man. Because I know that's like one of the things on podcasts is everybody's putting fake ads all the time. Our own crap. They're the most absurd stuff you could imagine. Yeah, I love it. So we're going to talk about playrooms. And one of the first things to know about playrooms is they're not scary. They're not scary, but there's such a difference between a playroom and going on an app. You're generally going to find someone, anyone to play with. Like your your guard is so much farther down. Although when I say they're not as scary, I can remember as recent as going away last summer. Where we went all through Europe. And I remember in that Prague, like chickens with our heads cut off, telling you that we're going to get on this particular bed where we're just going to play with each other and that we were going to strategically be in a corner so that your backside wasn't exposed. That is one of the tips that if you're feeling a little bit concerned, especially in a club where people a little randier in the states, they're not that randy. Don't wash after the gym on Wednesday. Nobody's going to come within a country mile of that stink as. But that is one of the tips. But that's a far advanced one. But OK, you can situate yourself in more of a corner. So only one couple can get side by side with you rather than being surrounded. I think newbies have probably heard from time to time. If you're read online or something, somebody talks about somebody coming in, maybe touching without full consent. That would be a way to make sure that doesn't happen. Yeah, to dismiss that concern as just overblown. I get why the paranoia is when you're a newbie, the unknown is the real fear. So let's really just set it up. You're walking into the playroom. Generally, you're wearing lingerie. You're naked or you've got a towel on and you're probably experiencing some erectile dysfunction. Problems. Because I was thinking about what's underneath the towel. Well, that's because it's kind of a little bit of an epidemic, especially if you're a newbie couple and you go in there. If you think having sex in front of other people is normal. Like being a fishbowl. You got another thing coming. I give that advice to people all the time. What should I expect? What should I expect? I say, you might have some performance anxiety the first time out because that group situation is a mind. F isn't it? You can expect to be doing a lot of muftime. Your wife's going to say, come on up here, honey. And you're going to be like, I just need a few more minutes. I'm going to make that pussy. We have seen that so many times, like it was at the Prague club. There was a couple. They were going at it. He was going down on her for like 45 minutes. That's one of the dead giveaways. You can go walking through the club during playtime after the witching hour and whoever has a guy buried between her thighs, eating her like his life depends on it. You know, he's struggling. It's not a five star dessert. I like eating pussy just as much as the next time. But I like fucking a whole lot more. But anyway, don't worry about that. You might want to either know that's going to happen to you and just decide you're going to be going down on each other a whole lot or you'll be getting a blow job or, you know, proactively take some Viagra, Cialis the first time or two. Although I take that back because going down on a girl ranks right up there. You love it. You woke me up to that this morning. Yeah, I love it a lot. Like it's near and dear to my heart. I love making love with my mom. Those early days when we went to the close for the first time and you were muff diving, you liked it or is it because your equipment was struggling? I don't remember. It was a long time ago. It was very hazy. I do like going down. I like going down at all the ladies. It's just I love it to me. It's making love with you. It's one of the most taboo things to put your mouth right there. And yet our boundaries were such real early on that all was totally OK. But no kissing on the valve. Well, OK, I get it. That's a little bit more intimate. The other one seems a little more taboo. I mean, so taboo should be swingery. I feel like the love hormones exist at the head of the snake, whereas I feel down below it's just sexy cats over here. And she's like texting hoddy hosiers in bed while I'm going down under the covers. You're giving feminine hygiene tips to push it while I was going down on you. I might have been texting one of my sexting buddies. No, actually, I was watching three some porn. Thank you very much. Yeah, you were on Arfor R with two dicks. I think that's actually another subreddit. It's a great subreddit. One chick, two dicks. You guys got to go there. It's fantastic. Context matters. One chick with two dicks. You're going to go down one way. So you're totally different. I could be able to unsee that stroke for a different folk. Yeah, I highly recommend that reddit if you want some MFM porn. If there's a chick out there with two dicks, what are you going to do? I'm sitting on a watch like kind of like the gang, but in the 50 guy gang. It's not often you see a girl with two dicks. Well, you haven't seen a girl with one dick. Sure, we have. I have not. We saw Danny, the tranny. We didn't see equipment. I feel like it was probably there on display. No, it wasn't. OK, so you're in the playroom, dressed sexy, you know, for the ladies. Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable. If you don't like your butt, if you don't like your thighs, if you don't like something about yourself, wear lingerie that makes you feel the sexiest you can be. I think another tip for newbies, though, is that when you go into a club, there may be things that you don't like. Everybody's got that. Everybody's got insecurities. I've got insecurities. Cats got insecurities. That's just the way we're wired. But when you go into a swing or club for the first time, it's not like those fears just melt away. But what you will find is that people really appreciate your beauty, what you've got. That's because lifestyle folk are the nicest people that they're peaceful. The nicest people. Violent mob. Pitchforks and torches. Get undressed now. No consent. Dungeons, BDSM. I think that you'll find that, let's say, as a girl, there's a lot of guys in that club that are going to appreciate no matter what you look like. And it takes a little while for that to actually sink in, especially when, you know, you do see a lot of people who are enhanced in different ways, you know, different kinds of surgeries. And if you're more natural and if you're like, this is just me, you got to embrace the me that you are. And again, if that means wearing some lingerie that enhances your assets, then you do that. Well, Kat speaks from experience because in the lifestyle, what would you say? Maybe it's three out of four people have some kind of enhancement, breast implants or a mommy makeover. Tell me, talk Brazilian butt lift. I've got none of that. So I go get some implants, honey. I don't think so. So you're sitting over there talking from your perspective of being a natural girl and they're lovely naturals. But I think even you, you look next door and you see somebody who's standing straight up to find gravity while she's on her back. Yes, it's true. It's true. And so you're going to feel that. But I go back to wearing what makes you feel sexy and you don't have to get naked. If you want to wear that lingerie the whole time, I think girls look hot in lingerie. Don't you agree? I love lingerie. Now, I just want to know, do guys find it sexier for a girl to be naked in the bedroom or wearing lingerie? I like you to start with lingerie and end up naked. I told you we're going to be going to see Pusher tomorrow night and we're going to have a sleepover on a houseboat. And so if I'm having an MFM threesome, I should start out with lingerie and end up naked or do you guys find it hot if you wear some barely there? Let's say you're wearing thigh highs or let's say you're wearing a bra and panties. I'm always of the mind that you go ahead and do the slow burn. Instead of just jumping out in your birthday suit. I like the sexiness, the tease of it. It doesn't have to be very long. I told you you should bring along some outfits. I got a ton of outfits to bring. And you should bring my Hugh Hefner. I'm going to wear the sea captain's hat with the corn cob pipe. No, that's like Tom Sawyer. He's like reading his paper. Frosty the snowman has a corn cob pipe, like a Norman Rockwell painting. You're going to be frosty. Frosty. Yeah, that was a corn cob pipe. Yeah, corn cob pipe. Yeah, we think I'm wearing overalls tomorrow night on the boat. You'd look hot in some overalls with a little piece of hay sticking out of your mouth. I actually own a pair of overalls. You do, but they're not hot overalls. Yes, they are. You think they're hot? I think. Oh, you don't think they're hot apparently. I'm not sure I've ever seen you in there. OK, all right. Well, that's going to be my lingerie tomorrow night on the boat. We're going to playrooms. We're not talking about houseboats. We don't really play in playrooms anymore. I can't tell you how long it's been since we've been in a playroom. It's really fun to go there and just watch. People always ask, can I just watch? Yeah, I think you would go in there. Your initial thinking is that you're going to have a big audience. But what we found is single guys make a great audience. They have that carnal energy. They're willing to just sit, be patient and watch. Which is why when we had a huge exhibition streak in our first year, we'd go to sex clubs. We'd have like a dozen guys just with raft attention for like two hours. With that said, couples suck. Do not do that. And I think it goes back to their husbands are so conditioned for years and years not to look at another woman. Stop it. That hurt. Get out of here, woman. Man. Go talk some feminine high G recommendations with our lovely forever. You said today that I think we should have a trouble always. Yeah, I think the next 10 years. I do. I love it so much because I get thrumple energy, I get girlfriend energy almost every single day. Yeah, when you're in your downtime moment, because you have no idea the amount of dopamine that comes out of the phone that Kat wakes up to in the morning. I actually had to tell her the other week when you wake up in the morning, you go straight for the phone. You don't even look over at me. I do. I wake up and I look at you and you smile at me. I smile at you and sometimes I lay on your chest. Then I go to a party. But yeah, these days we're so sweet. It's like, I'm just in a room, you two. But it's cute. I love it when you wake up in the morning and you look at me and you give me that gorgeous smile of yours. But yeah, then she goes on to the dopamine to come out of that phone. And the issue with that is that it's almost a constant stream. You're going through DMs, got emails. I know, but sometimes I get a little bored and it's just not enough going on. And since you're always practically in my it's my it in a heightened state of arousal, I am. I feel tingly all the time when you're not. You feel like, hey, I want a dopamine hit. And here comes here comes Leo. Of course. That's true. I was on you and you were talking to push. But you were on me and it was really nice. It was really nice. We just need to get her here. We have to get back to the playrooms. Yeah. And so what I was going to say is what were you saying? Couples, you'll find that when they walk up on you, they'll sit for about 30 seconds and then they'll move on. But remember that exhibitionists want voyeurs just like voyeurs want exhibitionist. So don't worry like you don't have to ask, can I watch if they're in an open place? They want to be watched. Yes, some clubs, they have it so that there's a chain. You can put up across the door. You can put a curtain. Some have closed doors, which are awful closed because I think they are half a dozen rooms will be closed. Like we did Eyes Wide Shut in Tampa and they have all these apparently themed rooms. Like really fantastic. We didn't see a single one because everybody had closed the door. I think it really harms the dynamic. I get why people would gravitate towards that. And especially newbies, they would probably want privacy, close the door, their safety. But if we opened a swing or club, we would not have any place that allows a fully closed. No, and you should be able to be alone because we do love the private room aspect a lot because we don't necessarily want to do stuff in a big group bed. But you have to make it fun for the patrons as well. Those voyeurs, one of the things we said we would add is just like the Love Hotel in Paris. We would have adjoining rooms where the wall is clear plexiglass and there's curtains on both sides. So you can choose to open yours. And if the person next to you also opens theirs and game on game on, you can see each other. I think we'd make any rooms with like a single bed have an adjoining wall that you can always have that little extra dope of dope. Zing of dopamine. And so, yeah, you can go your first time and just watch. Maybe go give your guy a blow job. That could be a really great start. And you say exhibitions want voyeurs, voyeurs want exhibitions. It's actually more like exhibitionists need voyeurs. Otherwise, what the hell are they doing? Right. And voyeurs need exhibitionists. So there is a symbiotic relationship that goes on in that club. But just be aware that if you're in a state of court of bliss and you're saying, look at me, look at me, look at me, don't be but hurt when you see a couple that stays for like 20 seconds and then keeps moving. It's not you. It's probably the husband. I have to pause for a second. She wants to get me a blow job in the other way. How should we proceed with caution? Tell her there's cameras in the elevator. No, the hallways. There's not. We should do a whole podcast where we call them like the sexting confession podcast. It's all the stuff we do that ends up on the cutting room floor. In between while we're doing the podcast. Yeah. Oh, God, be fascinated to hear like, what are you talking about? You guys are literally sitting in the. Somebody wants to give Leo a blow job in an elevator and it's not cat. OK, we're back. We're back. Playing in the playroom, you can go back there without having made any inroads with anybody in the DJ dance area. In fact, that's usually how it happens. That's actually our M.O. And we'll tell you why. Yeah, because one of the things we like to say is that when you go into a club, don't think that just because people are talking to you that they want to fuck. But they do. It turns out they do. But it doesn't stop us from talking to everybody. But you still shouldn't be afraid of it. No, because people are friendly and they're not going to jump your bones. OK, you just need to have your voice and just politely say, no, thank you. But here's why that's kind of our dynamic when it comes to going to the playroom is in some clubs, we've had it where, especially the wife will lead, where she'll almost like wave at us across the room from the dance. Twist. It's basically like I choose you. And everybody gets choice. You know, you get to choose who you want to play with. Everybody should have preferences, right? But she'll do that before the husband's emerged and you don't know where the other half is and whatnot. And so generally, we like to be a free agent before we go back to the playroom in the DJ dance area. We talk to everybody probably maddeningly so because we kind of flit. We flit in, we flit out. We don't make any inroads. We don't make any commitments. And then we end up naked or half naked and lingerie in the playrooms. Inevitably, if you make too much of a connection that's a mile deep and an inch wide, then you're getting committed, come back to the playroom and they're going to ask if they can join you on their going to make a beeline for you. And so if you end up in the playroom and you've made no real connections like saying, hey, do you want to play? You're a free agent and you can go plop yourself down. Oh, this looks like a good spot on the bed. Maybe you see someone that you find fairly appealing because those connections are much harder to make when you're naked in the playroom. It's much fewer and far between the kind of people that are going to approach you in a state of undress in the playrooms and say, hey, do you mind if I do XYZ? Then if they latch on in the DJ dance area and then they're going to latch on when you go back into the playroom, that's much more common. So in the playrooms, let's say you found yourself a spot and you've decided you're going to kind of go at it with your partner. Let's say you're in coid or bliss with each other. Look at me, look at me, or you're just focused on each other. It's a bit of a dance if you have a couple next to you engaging in parallel play. Well, see, this is the one thing that Kat excels at. She's completely next level and it really goes to you being a girly girl. I have to be a weighing person and really that is my best advice to you. You have to let the lady lead. Absolutely. And the way I do it is I've got a couple next to me. We had this adorable couple, Seattle and Boston. We've never talked about them because we lost that pod. Yeah, they were pretty hot. We met them at Twist at a bronze party and God, they were so hot. And this is when we weren't playing with couples, but we're like, I don't know. I don't know what we're going to do. So they're laying next to us. And, you know, we have made no inroads with them. I don't know their names or anything about them, except they're hot. Well, before we went to the playroom, we ran into them at the bathroom and we exchanged a couple of pleasantries and then said, maybe we'll see you in the playroom. And they came and plop next to us. So it seemed like, oh, it's on. OK. Yeah, it was very intentional. And so what I do is I kind of whispered to the girl, hey, is it OK if I hold your hand or do you like girls? Is it OK if I kiss you? That's really Kat's go to. And the reason is because as the guys were the threat level, you're the creep. Defcon one. Yeah, you're the creepy man horse. Did you know that, by the way, as Defcon one, not like Defcon four. I think four is the least. I don't even know what Defcon means. It's like, you know, nuclear launch codes and all that stuff. Shall we play a game? I thought we were talking like Star Wars. What? What? What? I thought we were doors. Load the torpedoes, you know, that's kind of one. I mean, I heard of it. Guys are the Defcon one in the playroom scenario. Girls, anything goes. And so you start like that. I don't care if you're a straight girl. You still should start out with that girl, girl touch. Maybe you don't want to kiss her. That's fine. But it's the easiest and most benign way to start. And then as the girl, you could then ask or say your husband could touch me. Although I say that and I should probably put in the caveat, except twist in San Francisco, the only club in the world, North America, where in the world? And Leo has made this overture and actually had two people say, turn me down. This is my first time. No, thank you. Which is fine. That's because we had our very first club of La Masque in Paris. We had girl, girl play. He wanted to do more. The guy and then Leo said, it's OK if the girls play. And that was my first experience. And it was so hot just to hold her hand turning girls who've never done girl, girl stuff all across the world. It's probably because they know I'm the same as them. Yeah, I think they feel it. They feel your energy and what. But that's why we tell people if you're a real, real newbie, then twist might be the club for you because that's the only place where we've encountered two people who said no. In fact, one of the girls you kiss, she was the one who said, oh, well, thank you for asking. I appreciate you asking consent. Right. And I'm not. I have nothing against consent. I do. Consent is good. Rather like nonverbal consent that they do in Europe. It's just kind of hot and tawdry. But I have no problem asking for consent. Well, when you say nonverbal consent, if you haven't heard previous pods, that's going to sound very terrifying. Which just means that somebody gives a light touch or caress on your arm. Or you'll be actually standing on your two feet, maybe watching an exhibition as a voyeur. They don't just show up and like give me a kiss, baby. It's not like that girl that's behind you and she just starts caressing your back slowly. And if you don't like it, you just sort of shake your head and then you'll never see her again. And if you do, you might smile and she might continue a little bit more. But the nonverbal consent is actually a very soft energy. And it's nice because it's nice to be wanted and not always being the one trying to initiate. Now, if you want to turn it into more, you usually start the dance like this. It's a dance. It really is a dance where nobody knows the steps. You just make it up, hoping you don't step on each other's toes. Too lefty. And so let's say you want to turn this into a full on soft swap or let's say you want to turn into a full on full swap. That still happens starting this slow. But then you might say, would you guys be interested in swapping, like just doing a soft swap? Yeah. And that means we're going to exchange oral. Do you think that that's the best way to approach it? Or do you think you'd say something like, do you want to go down on my husband? I'll go down on you. Yeah, it probably goes more like that. I think what we would do is I think many times I'd be like, is it OK if I suck him? Or would you like to go down on me? You start kind of slow. And I think at this juncture, it's probably important to tell newbie couples that if you're doing this for the first time, be aware, as we said previously, that for most couples, 95 percent of them are looking for that MFF threesome with extra girl. I was just going to talk about that. That was my next bullet point is you have to be mindful of the wife poachers. They actually exist. And so to that end, when we say things like, would you like to go down on my husband while I go down on yours, we do call that the tit for tat shit test. Yes. And it's important to do it so that you don't start doing something with the other husband, let's say. And then you come to find out that the other wife isn't doing the same reciprocating. You do unto others as you would have done to you. If you're going to go down on the other wife's husband, she better damn well be doing the same to your husband. Probably verbally prompt. Do you want to go down on my husband at the same time? That way, before you do it, if she gives you a hesitation, then you know, OK, well, then we'll take our ball and go home. Yeah, we never talked quite about that tit for tat chat test, as you call it. And it's really important because otherwise you're going to end up in a place where you're like, hey, this is a little imbalanced. And it always has to be the best deal for you as a couple, your husband and wife, not just for my wife is just when you say best deal. We're talking about the husbands here. It needs to be the best deal for you and your husband, because the girls are always going to get the best deal. Again, you will easily be welcomed into a couple's dynamic as a cosplay of an extra female doing an MFF threesome. Don't have that happen on accident because you don't have your voice. So in a playroom at a club, how often do you think full swaps even happen? Pretty rare, I think. I agree. It depends on the club. There are some like Treppies in Fort Lauderdale. It's a lot more DTF. European ones are pretty randy. I bet I've barely seen a full swap at twist, except on rare occasion. I've read about it. I literally have never seen it with my own eyes. I mean, people, they're giving each other three, four feet of space, even though they're all just on tumbling mats. Yes, it's very much a chaotic playroom. But consent, you might as well have like an invisible force field between you and your husband. Even if you're going to like a Treppies Fort Lauderdale, it's not like it's super scary. Everybody's going to be jumping you any Swinger Club you go to. You can find corners to do your own thing. You can find spots. It's really newbie centric so much so that I think more experienced swingers, maybe like ourselves, we don't gravitate toward. Did you just call us experienced swimmers? Oh, man, we're getting there. We were actually at U and I before we got on the pod earlier this evening. We were talking about some play dynamic. I'm not going to go into the details about how we were unsure how we would proceed with this particular dynamic. And it just made me feel like it's because we're still new at this. It might be two years, but we still move pretty slow. We might be full swap, but barely. You've done one full swap. I know, right? I've spent eight weeks backtracking badly doing the backstroke. I'm underwater. Although third time that we're going to have seen pusher since we've had anything. Yes, speaking of underwater, that makes me think. You're being very generous. I practiced deep throting again this morning or last night. Yeah, that was last night. Yeah, you're getting good at it. Yeah. Yeah, we're going to practice that on the house tomorrow. Already now. Yeah, maybe you can teach pusher. I don't think you can teach people how to do it. You just got to get it. Yeah, you kind of have to want it. Yeah. Honey, listen, I want him to watch you two have your way with me. And I said, we would love that. We make a good tag team. No, I don't know what to say. This is dramatic irony. It's a trap. It's a trap. It is such a trap. Dramatic irony happens when readers know what the characters in the story do not know. Like we said, on rare occasion, we have been to a club. How about fantasy and Prague? We went on a night. I think it was roughly translated to like gang bang. There are a lot of single guys there. That was so DTF. You're like, that was the problem with the language barrier. That was probably the night I told you to lay on the bed strategically. So we're blocked in by the two walls. Now, the guys were respectful. The one came in a room. Do you guys need any help? Do you want anything? And there was a really cute guy, young one, who seemed like he was in over his head and we should have sealed that deal. We didn't remember him. I thought that was the one you were. Oh, that's a cute boy. He was young. That we would have sealed that deal. That was kind of before I knew I had such a young boy. Incidentally, one of the places that the guy was going down on his girl, like his life depended on it. Remember that? And then we went in there on that rare occasion. We decided to shoot our shot. Mind if we come in and I think we're OK. It was actually the girl who said that the guy invited us in. The girl went, hell, no, you. Husty, you slut. I know. Get away from my man. She was meat guarding. But you knew that that was newbie energy because he was going down and I like his life depended on it. Right. It was his first. And he's just like on the struggle. Bring it on. I want another girl in here. And then, you know, another bit of advice is when you're in the play room, don't talk about a bunch of boring crap because that really annoys people who are trying to get it on. Is that a do as I say, not as I do. Shut up. You're the one that's always talking in the play room. I do not. Oh, yes, you did. That when we were at the Scarlet Ranch. You talked about the guy who had his socks on. And you had to get up and take his socks off while he was inside of the girl and you caused the entire room to break out and applause. I would do it again, guys. Take your socks off if you're going to have sex. It is just not sexy. I don't care if your feet are cold. I don't care if your feet are ugly. It's not sexy to wear socks. That was that pretty privilege on display. Stop it. But that is going to be absolutely. Yeah, but you want me to keep going? I don't talk in the playroom. We were at Playhouse LV and we were in the playroom and you were sitting there having a conversation with one of those girls. Oh, she was talking to me. OK, I do. Big talker. I do talk a lot. I actually talk while we're playing. She just gets away because she's so damn cute. I don't think I realize it when we're in a hotel room, because I took some videos of us having a threesome. And some of the videos have me talking and I talk a hell of a lot. I was talking to that club. You need to shut the fuck up. They would have frog-marched my ass. Like Leo doesn't talk a lot. He's busy in the playroom or he's busy in the hotel room, like doing his thing. He's like takes a lot of cardio to do this. But for the most part, most of the clubs we've been in, and I don't know, today I want to say we've probably been in like 30, 35 clubs, nine out of 10 clubs. They're pretty newbie energy. And I think if anything, a lot of the OG swingers are complaining about the state of the club that couples there are more there to just put on a show instead of being because the DTF couples are going to house parties, which you don't want to go to if they're small. DTF couples might be more attracted to like a hotel takeover. I think we've heard it said before that when it comes to a house party, if there's 50 people and you don't play, it's no big deal. If there's 10 to 15 people, you better play or you won't be invited back again. Right. So that's why we avoid house parties like the play. Yeah, because we want to play if we want to play and we want to be able to not play if we don't want to play. There are times we go into a club and we'll spend 140 bucks. Oh my gosh, we do that so often because the clubs are sexy vibes. And we'll leave without getting undressed. Right. It's just sort of an evolution of the lifestyle journey where for us, we love taking it back to our hotel. And we used to always go to the clubs for the first year. We were full on swinger clubs. We weren't on the apps at all. Highly recommend that because the apps can be soul crushing and time consuming. So you start out at the swinger clubs. We had a big exhibition at Street. We love nothing more than to get it on and have people watching. We would go to sex clubs where they would just be teaming with single guys. They gave us a standing ovation. And we put the chain up and they would be standing shoulder to shoulder, two rows deep. One might have taken one of my feet. Oh yeah, I guess that did happen. And you said, just don't come on my foot. Um, what the segment? I can't believe that came out of my back. Actually, you should put that on a t-shirt that came out of Kat's mouth. Big yikes, right? But the things you do is newbies. And as you go along in your journey, you start to pull up the drawbridge. And so now, like in all the times we've been to Scarlet Ranch, which I don't know, might be like seven, eight times at this point, because that's our new adopted home club. I think we played there twice. I'm looking forward to the Scarlet Ranch. I'm looking forward to Denver, Colorado and Denver. We call them Denverites. Coloradians. Coloradians. We love Coloradians. We love you guys. We haven't been back since April. Man, I'm looking forward to it. It's been a whirlwind. You guys are such real motherfuckers. You guys are so many friends there. Such good people. I'm really looking forward to it. We're going for the Halloween ball. Hey, if you're there, say hi to us. Love talking to people. We said we're going to put something on the website. But will we play at the Scarlet Ranch on Halloween night? Doubtful. Doubtful. Because downstairs at the Scarlet Ranch, and apparently this is intentional by the owner Kendall, he said that they actually shrunk the size of the play area on purpose. Because sex is not what he's selling. It's not the main product. It's a social club. And because of that, the play area downstairs, it can be a little chaotic trying to get a bed. And Halloween is the biggest swing or holiday of the year. So you guys need to do something for Halloween, whether that's a local club or a hotel takeover, dress up, Halloween. We'll come see us at the Scarlet Ranch. It's fab, yes. We said we're going to put that on the website. We're going to create a little segment called Where's Cat and Leo? Like a Where's Waldo. Yeah, we're going to be wearing the Where's Waldo outfits. And so you can find us and then you can come say hi. We love meeting people. We'll put our travel dates where we're going to be. Even our friends are like, are you guys in like Havasu? I can't keep track. And we're like, no, we ended up not going. Yeah, people listen to the pod and then they say, OK, so you said you were going to go here, here and here. Are you there right now? And we'd love for you to know because it's fun to meet people. Yeah, absolutely. Come out. We'll show you the love. And you know what? If you're going to a club for the first time, come out and we'll make you feel comfortable. We know what it was like to be newbies in the club for the first time to be scared shitless. I think I said that on an earlier pod. We could almost do club tours. And we're going to come to your town. I don't know. I guess that's going to happen. I'm going to fuck the hell out of you, too. OK. This is the most basic story arc. Shit. Oh, boy. That's a that went from zero to 100. Didn't I? I'm here for it. She's pretty fucking sexy. God damn it. Any story arc organizes the events of the story to make readers curious about how the story will end. One day. Now, I just want to be as distracting as possible. God, I can't wait to feel his cock sliding to me for the first time. Maybe I should be on my back for it. Now you're distracting me. I'm doing the pod. Sorry. OK. OK. OK. That's a hot. We're talking about Scarlet Ranch. We're talking about we know it is like to be newbies at the club. OK, let's get back out of the Scarlet Ranch. Again, we won't play that night because Halloween like New Year's is super, super, super busy, which busy can be good in the playroom because there's lots of bodies writhing around, especially like at a twist, you know, or places where there's a lot more play space. But we like to take it back to our hotel room. Nothing beats the intimacy and you can just be in the moment. You're not looking over your shoulder at voyors. Oh, we're going to play that night. I just we're not going to play at the Scarlet Ranch. And because we do our room up like a rave. And it's gotten so elaborate. We've been putting these tapestries in the dark tapestries. We got the idea of really kind of on our own, but then it got magnified by Bob. Yeah, Bob from Naughty in Orleans. Your fault. How you decorated your cabin on like temptation. Now it's an arms race. And we're going to invite you to come see our room. We're like anything you can do. I can do better. I can do anything better than you. My baloney has a first name. Listen, we start mounting I like to be mounted from the ceiling and they actually shine down on the tapestry. You can be mounted. I'll mount you. I'm not going to mount you right now. Somebody wondered if we'd ever had sex on the pod because we talk about it. And I want to say we have not had sex on the pod yet. Because we say it in the opener, right? We say, but we're making love on the pod. Just hear the sound. I think I should be sitting in your lap writing you and we could be talking. We even even had a live orgasm on the bucket list. The pod yet, although we do have one tape recorded. You want to hear it? Yeah, go ahead. OK, gratuitous. Sus. Hi, mom. Hi, dad. Oh, that's hot. Sound like you're in a damn porn. Wait a minute. I realized that other voice wasn't mine. I think that was pushy, wasn't it? I took that audio memo of me having orgasm because I was in the middle of a sexting kink with a cute young boy. I think we were spit roasting her at the time. It was so hot and we're going to do that tomorrow night. And I'm going to bring a little sexting buddy along with me. So I've got some carnal energy. I've got some more. That was only half of it. Oh, God. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, wow. OK. You just fried my brain. Are you stirring over there? I'm on a houseboat right now. Hey, come on, Marty. We're going to fast forward in time to tomorrow, 24 hours since you watch ahead. This doesn't really apply to couples. This is more for single guys. Don't hover and be creepy. And couples don't really do that. I mean, guys are going to do what guys are going to do. I think I'm going to creep. The couple it's incumbent on you to have your voice. If guys get too close to say, hey, back up a little. You mind giving us some space? Guys are cool like that. If you're there on a single guy night. Also, if you go on a single guy night, it's not scary. They tend to be very respectful, even if they're a little clueless. They might be wanking it. Just use your words. But, you know, try to embrace that thinking instead of, oh, it's so creepy. Isn't that what we tell our kids? Somebody use your words. You see, seriously, use your words. Use those. Use those nice words. So kids, use your words. And so the single guys, even if they're wanking it, right, as long as it's not like going on you, you're making somebody else hot. And shouldn't that be kind of exciting? And, you know, it's customary in the playroom for them to give space. But if you need more space, just use your words. And that's where your husband comes in handy. The girl does all the play to try to get that started. And the guy, he should be the bouncer. And it's not to say that girls don't have their voice. I'm a boss bitch. Mostly you're boss bitches. Yeah, yeah, man. And it is a woman's world in the lifestyle. You girls do run the show. But yes, guys, as their husbands, be the protector as well. Be ready to step in. Throw hands if necessary. Yeah, yeah. Fingers would be better. Anyway, what should you bring into a playroom? Right. Can you bring a little bag with like some stuff? Yeah, as long as you don't mind losing it. I mean, you could bring some lube. You could bring condoms because you never know when you might be full swapping unexpectedly. Most clubs have lockers. You get a key when you first check in and sometimes you put a little deposit on. What if you want to bring some condoms with you? Put the majority of your stuff in a locker so you don't have to slip it around. And what we do is I have a very small, small, tiny, little kind of purse backpack. A lot of girls have these kinds of little purses and you could fit a small toy. Yes, you're allowed to use vibrators in a club. Please do condoms, lube, anything like that. Yeah. If you're using a vibrator and you wanted to share it, sometimes it's customary to throw a condom on. We've never done that. I think we have, actually. We put it on in Amsterdam in Fun for Two. And when it was industrial, that's why we put a condom on. It was there. You ever seen one of those industrial Hattachi's? They're like, I think it was trying to make the paint peel off of me. It was actually plugged into the wall ceiling. Did I have an orgasm to that? Yeah, I think I did because I like it intense like that. Whoo. I'm excited. Just thinking about it. I had somebody come in behind me with that nonverbal consent and touch you while I was going down on you. And was it hot? Yeah, but then I turned around and was a guy. Don't you know? A hand is a hand. A mouth is a mouth, Leo. But the clubs are dark and you are in a state of heightened sexual arousal. It is easy to lose some items in the club. So make sure they keep track of your stuff. If you're going to shuck your clothes, some clubs, you just get undressed right where you're going to play. That's very common in Europe when you finished. But pay attention to yourself. We've lost vibrators. I've lost boxer shorts. I was thinking you lost your pants, but you didn't. It's only a matter of time with any luck. A couple of kind of last minute things. You should avoid the sunk cost fallacy of thinking I paid my money. I have to play. Don't throw good money after bad. So don't feel like, yes, there's a thing is scarcity. The end of the night, you want to play. You might choose someone you wouldn't normally choose. Don't be desperate. Yeah. And don't or your standards. Don't feel like you can't leave the club and just having played with your partner or going home fairly empty handed. There's nothing wrong with that. I mean, that's kind of an evolution of your lifestyle journey. It is true that when you first start out, you do a lot of things that you wouldn't do a year later. Oh, God, we would have never left a club without at least touching some strange genital. Yeah, you do feel like you want to get your money's worth. And now we literally will go to clubs and we don't even get undressed. I know the owners probably look at us like they didn't even get naked. I don't understand them. I think the substitute should always be the default is play with your partner. If you don't find anything else, then play with your partner. You in the early going to play with you. I'm just going to sit over here on the cook couch, apparently. All the unicorns. Did you know that's what it's called? It's called the Cuck chair in a hotel. Cuck chair, as I was called in a hotel. They all have like this little sofa off to the side. There's a chair. You know, there's like an armchair in every hotel room. I've never heard that before. It's called the Cuck chair. I put it on one of our web pages because it was like a video about it was hilarious. I guess that's why I never sit there. I know you ain't no cock. I know you're a rotten buck. You're not a cock. I'm like a stray cat howling at the moon. I know my friends and people are throwing rubber boots at me. And then the last thing is what if you're in the play room and you're feeling a little uncomfortable in the situation? Like that guy is creeping a little too much. How do you make a graceful exit? Let's say you're playing and it's going too far and you're just not ready for it. Say, you know what? Do you want to get a drink? Yes. And go get a drink. Bingo. Seattle and Boston did that while we were in the middle of starting to do some cross touching. It's usually code speak for, hey, let's go and have a sidebar huddle and talk this over. And at the time they left and we just thought, I guess they're gone. You know, I knew they were new. They were brand new, really young. So we actually left the area we were in and then we saw them come back in and they were looking around like where'd they go? Yeah, they made their little discussion and they were back and they decided, let's do it. I know, right? We missed. That was a little bit of a misconnection. Yeah, the moment had passed. For us, when the moment passes, it just kind of passes. It could be fleeting. It's ephemeral. If you like something, go for it. Go for it right away. If you like it. Well, that's probably terrible news. That's actually an advanced pro tip. I don't think you want to do that as a. Right. You could go to a club six times, never having done anything, but play with your partner and there's nothing wrong with it. If you're not a hundred percent sure, don't go for it. Because honestly, just holding someone's hand while you're in coital bliss with your partner, your spouse is absolutely exhilarating the first time. You know how when you see something, let's say you have a car that you really want to buy and somebody buys it right out from under you. And then you think, oh, there's never going to be another car like that again. There always is. Just like the saying, there's always plenty of fish in the sea. There's always going to be another opportunity in the playroom at a future date. It's better not to make that mistake by just going for it. Yes, we have a handful of like misconnections and we could probably name them all remember that one, remember that one. And we make them out to be in our head like that would have been the greatest thing ever. And then you look back and you think, yeah, that probably wouldn't make the cut today. Exactly. And that goes to one of the other things is the cardinal rule in the lifestyle is don't ever change your boundaries in the middle of play. Discuss that ahead of time. What you guys want to do, how far you want to go if you want to nudge any boundaries, but don't completely change that dynamic in the middle of play. That's how regrets happen and misgivings. You can't do that. It doesn't mean that all of a sudden for the first time you decide, hey, I'm going to give someone a blow job for the first time. You have to have talked about it when you're not horny, not heated at another time. Like if this were to happen, what do you think, honey? And then in the moment, you can say, OK, I think it's OK if you give them a blow job. Discuss it with post nut clarity. Yeah. And pre horniness, because horniness is not a good time to make decisions. Hey, honey, can you take me to the bathroom? I think I need a drink. Yeah, I think there's a bathroom on the houseboat. So. So if you liked what you heard, go ahead and either subscribe or I didn't know how that works. Just come and listen. Yeah, we might post once a week. We might post a couple times a month. I don't know. You might get bored and stop doing it. So we might come and listen while it's still going. Otherwise, we'll lose interest. Tell us how much you like it. Yeah, that kind of comment. That'd be cool. We love it. We're going to leave a comment. I don't know. We lost some comments. We don't have a website. OK.