1437 - Elle is Poly, has Two Boyfriends & She’s Very Into Kink & Open Relationships

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Probably the only good advice I'll ever give you is to re-hide your whips and chain. Here is your host, Kathy. Hey, welcome to the Strictly Anonymous Podcast with Kathy. If you want to follow the Strictly Anonymous Podcast on Instagram or Twitter, follow me at Strict Anonymous. If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because I change everybody's voices and everyone's name. So if you have an interesting naughty secret life or even just regular, not so naughty life that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or not anonymous, if you're out and proud, that's cool too. You can be on the show. I also look for like health related stories now. I have a sexual health Saturdays. So if you have any kind of interesting health story, I love stuff like that health and fitness story. You can send me an email at strictlyanonymouspodcastatgmail.com or just go to my website, strictlyanonymouspodcast.com and click on be on the show. 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It's now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out till August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. Told in the third person. They're quick, short stories. Think like Penthouse Forum letters or Naughty True stories. All in one book. If you get my book on Amazon or wherever you buy books, you can get it. Send me a screenshot of your order and I'll also give you complimentary access to my private Discord. My Discord is f-ing great. That's where you could go in and post your own stuff. My Discord is super fun. People get very naughty on there. I have lots of contests, tons of different channels with all kinds of content, but it is private. I only give links to either my guests if you call into the show. You get a link to my Discord or get my book or join my Patreon. You get it from all that. Last thing I want to tell you about is if you are looking to get into the lifestyle, the site I recommend to everybody is SDC.com. SDC.com is like the world's largest online adult dating site, but it's so much more than a dating site. It's more than a pickup place. You go on there, you're going to learn everything about the lifestyle. They have live events. They have educational stuff that you can learn on there. They also will tell you where all the gangbangs and swinger clubs and orgies and parties that are going on in your area and your neighborhood. Or if you're traveling, you can find out what's going on there too. That's what's great about SDC. It's like a one-stop shop for the lifestyle. And if you use my code 37712, you're going to get a free trial so you could check it out. So go to SDC.com, use code 37712, or just go to the description and click on the link. All the links, everything I told you about including my Patreon is in the description. Okay, today I have on Elle. Oh my God, Elle has like the most fascinating story. She reached out to me to be on the show. They also though, at the same time, I just want to tell you that Elle and her partner, her partner actually started a company called Bitches Love Leather. And it's all custom made like BDSM equipment and clothing and kink stuff. They even have dildos. He hand makes them all. He actually could create custom stuff for you because I ask about a spreader bar. You're going to love this stuff on their website, but you're going to love her story. I mean, it is so super interesting. She was a young girl that got into kink. She always knew she liked women. When she was young, she started to go on to FetLife. She had all kinds of crazy experiences with guys. One that she was doing tons of threesomes with that got wrong with women. And then another guy who was like a narcissist dom and she talks about that story that went very awry. And then she met another guy. She's always been Polly. I mean, when you get to the part, her partners now, I mean, you know, she's been in triad. She has two separate guys she's with. One of her guys has four girls. The other guy has just her. The whole story is super interesting. Like I said, it just kept getting more interesting as it went on. But it's not confusing. Listen, sometimes Polly stories get my brain gives me a fucking headache, but not this one. She's very clear about what's going on and what she's into and what's going on with her partners. And it's all great. And I'm going to use the word again, interesting. You know, I think I said it like 10 times, but it is a super interesting story. You're going to love Elle and her story. And I'm going to get right to it and be right back on with her. Oh, and I have pictures of her over on my page. And you will get a link to pictures love leather in the description. The stuff looks really great. And it's all well, it's all handmade and it's like killer stuff, like real leather harnesses, collars or strings, the gags, you name it. They got it. So go check it out. The link will be in the description. I'm going to be right back on with Elle. Hi, Elle. Welcome to the strictly anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm doing great. How are you? Good. So listen, Elle, you're into kink and maybe BDSM. I don't know. You do have a partner who started, who started bitches in leather, bitches love leather. Okay. And it's all kinds of like hot kink and BDSM paraphernalia or apparel or all of the above. Right. I don't know how would you pitch it? Yeah. It's basically handmade leather bondage gear. And then we also have silicone toys and basically anything and everything you could want to use in your play scenes. We have a little bit of everything. Well, before we get into your life story, because that's what we're going to talk about, I just need to know because I literally just had a whole thing on. I'm like, Oh my God, I've never tried a spreader bar and I want to, do you guys have a spreader bar? Oh my God, you're going to say no. We don't have it on the site. We do have like, we do do a lot of custom things, especially very specific things. Yeah. So we have, we can do any sort of custom thing. That is more on my partner Fox's realm and his speciality is literally coming up with the designs for all of the products. Honestly, in a weird way, I'm glad I asked because who would have known? I mean, I had no idea that your, this company does custom stuff, which I think is probably like a great thing to add in about the fact that you guys do that. So happy that my spreader bar question prompted that because who would have known? We'll get to the point where you meet your partner, right? This guy that makes all this stuff and is this leather master. But let's get your, and I'll put a link actually to bitches love leather because your stuff looked really cool. I checked it out online beforehand. So we'll put a link in the description for people, but let's get your story, L. You sound super young to me. Can you tell me like around what age you are? I'm currently, I'm, I'm late twenties, but I started in my kink journey when I was about like 19. Okay. Okay. That's super young. You're still young to me. Yeah. So what got you into kink like, did you always know you had like this side to you even when you were little or like, or what happened at 19 that you got into that? Like you went down that path. When I was like in junior high, you know, I had a sleepover with my childhood friends and they, girls or boys, sorry, and girls. Okay. Okay. And we played the game nervous, you know, and we were, I was raised a very sheltered child. So I knew it was like something I shouldn't have been doing, but I was automatically like very interested in girls. And like it was my first like sexual experience that I genuinely was like, Oh, I actually really like girls. And I, so we, that was kind of my first experience and I knew I was at least bisexual. But wait, was that when you were 19 or is this younger than 19? This was when I was in junior high. So that was kind of like, right. This is real early and, and you're with girlfriends and you're playing around. And that's when you realize you like girls, but your partner now is a guy, correct? Yes. Okay. Cool. All right. Go on. And then so, and then I, I had a really toxic abusive relationship, which in high school and once I was able to break free from that relationship with him, I look like it was like the whole world was open and I was, you know, freshly 18. And I just knew that it was time to kind of like search and find myself. And so I ended up into a relationship with a man, we'll call him B. And he was very like, it was one of those passionate early relationships where we really enjoyed each other, but I also knew I want to explore women and I want to be free to, you know, play around, fuck around and, but also be in this relationship. So we like, we kind of started in the terms of like, he only wanted, he wanted the one dick policy, which Meaning you guys could have three since this guy be with girls. He's the only dick in the room. Yes. And it was something where I was like, I was placating him. I said, okay, let's do this. I just really want to try something out. So he would go out and he would like connect with other women and then kind of like bring them home, basically. Yeah. First, our first threesome was with my like high school friend that had a crush on him. And like, he brought her in and it was, I like to think of my story as very much a gone wrong story. I love a gone wrong story, by the way, because I feel like people could learn from it. But I also think it's very dramatic and, you know, into it. Go on. And it was something where I was very much like, I was, I liked the idea, but I actually wasn't emotionally mature enough to handle sharing him in my relationship. And so like, yes, I was in, we, we had sex with her. She had sex with him. I ended up kind of like pulling back and watching them have sex as I was having like a panic attack and just sitting there quietly and just like, you know, doing what you see in porn, which is like just moaning and like agreeing and be like, oh, yeah, that's so hot. Were you faking it or were you feeling it as well as the panic at the same time? I was, I, I did think it was very hot to watch her, but I did not like watching them together. Okay. That makes sense. Mm hmm. It was very panicky. And I ended up like literally leaving them to sleep in bed to go lay on the couch and because I just couldn't handle it. Yeah. Crazy, right? And you're so young that you didn't even know how to speak up for yourself and you're just like sitting there with all of that. Just dumped on you by yourself and the couch. You poor thing. Oh my God. Yeah. It was, and you know, I would say that probably if I hadn't been so into women and like wanting more, I would have quit right then and there because it was so difficult and I just was like, why am I torturing myself like this? Yeah, totally. Of course. Well, listen, you know, unless you did it 10 more times after that and tortured, kept torturing yourself, you know, that you didn't know it was going to be torture going in. So that's where you could give yourself a break, right? You kind of tried it. You didn't go in thinking this is going to be horrifying, right? But the minute you saw it, you didn't want to ever see it again. You know, I get that. How would you have known? Yeah. And I think that that's why I was like, okay, maybe it was just the wrong situation. Oh, so you tried it again. Oh, yes. Okay. So I continued that relationship with him and he like continued to go out like he met another girl. He was, we met at the dog park, which is very poly of us. And, you know, he would, he spent so much time talking to her and I very much like, I didn't talk to her until like he brought her back over to the house. And then I was like, Oh, I actually really liked this girl. Okay. And he wanted to sleep with her so badly, but she didn't want to sleep with him. But she wants to sleep with you. Yeah. She was, we, like we were, we were like connected and you know, I think she just was like, she didn't know how to let him go down easy. So after like one failed threesome attempt where he like, like we just did oral and he didn't get to fuck her. Like the next morning he went to work and then we stayed in bed and we ended up having sex and I ate her out. I was like a little bit more dominant with her in terms of like she was more reserved and I was like, I will go all the way with you. And so she, it like we had this fantastic like connection and when he came home and like found us, like he could tell that we had sex. He was incredibly upset and angry and just devastated that like this girl that he really liked didn't want to sleep with him, but instead wanted to sleep with me. Yeah, of course. Okay, guys, I want to talk about jazz for a second. Now, listen, I know that most guys are kind of obsessed with, you know, how big their loads are, right? Even if you don't want to admit it, I know you kind of care. Okay. And that's why I'm excited to tell you about load boost by VB health. Load boost is not only going to make your loads bigger. Okay. It's also going to make them taste better. 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All you got to do is go to load boost.com, use my code strictly and you're going to get 10% off. That's load boost.com. Use code strictly for 10% off or just go to the description and click on the link. And so that kind of was, I think that was the first point where I was like, okay, like the interest in women is not just like, like it doesn't, have to do with him. It had to do with like what I wanted. It was something that I didn't, uh, I didn't need him to be there to be involved with women. Right. And most likely it would be better if he wasn't involved there because both times, you know, him being there was a problem. The first time it was because you were jealous. The second time was because he was jealous. Yes. Absolutely. Yeah. And then so I, I knew that I wanted to get into kink. So I did make a fat life profile as I think every single kinkster does. Yeah. That is the place for, if you're into kink, that's the place to join, right? Fat life is very specific. It's very specific and it is flooded with mostly, I would say like once I put my like pictures up, I was just bombarded by old men who were just like trying to get, you know, with this 19 year old, of course. Oh my God. Fresh face. Of course. Yeah. And so, yeah, I was getting all these messages and it very difficult, obviously for me to engage into what like, what was safe and what wasn't. I would assume at this point, you're not with that guy anymore, right? You're doing this one. You're single again. I actually was still in that relationship. Oh, and he was okay with it though. Like, I mean, he was down. It was one of those things where it was more of a do not, uh, don't ask, don't tell. Okay. And so I just, I wanted to do it. And even though our relationship wasn't healthy, it was what was working in the time. So. Listen, you're 19 years old. What relationship is healthy at 19? I don't know. I mean, you know, anyone that could have a healthy relationship at 19, I'm like, who the fuck are you? That's like amazing. You know what I mean? So it's totally normal to have toxic, crazy, terrible relationships when you're 19, you know, you're so young and I'm sure he was young too. Right? Your guy. Oh yeah. We were the same age. Yeah. I mean, come on. I would, I think about myself at 19. Oh my God. But by the way, my mom was married at 19. So, you know, maybe there are mature people at 19. But anyway, so, okay. So you go into Fetalivin, there's like all these guys. What did you go on there looking for, by the way? I just put that I was like looking for a dominant, that I was looking to explore myself. And I was, that I was open to anyone, a male, female, non-binary, but just that I was looking for a dominant. Okay. You knew you were going to be a submissive. Yes. I knew that that was what I was interested in, but I just didn't know kind of like what extent. Right. And so the first man that I met off of that life, we're going to call him Jay. He was like one of those where like the words, he was so good with his words. And he pulled me in real quick. And he was a very dominant person. He was very much one of those people that you, you can tell he's a narcissist and it comes all the way through and what he asks from his submissives. Right. And so he wanted, what he wanted was a life. He, he said a life style sub. So he wanted me like basically as his submissive at all times. And of course I was, I want one of those two. Who would it want to, you know, on command sub to do whatever the fuck you want. Yeah. And, and I was in college, you know, so I was like, I was, it ended up being something where he had his girlfriend who lived with him, then another sub outside of me and myself. And it was like, we were his harem of women. Wow. And you all knew of each other, I'm assuming. Yes. We were, we were all 19. Like, was his harem all like super young girls? No, I was the youngest he had, like his girlfriend was probably a couple around his age. He was like about 25 when we met. And then like the other sub was, I want to say around closer to his age. So I was kind of like the baby of the group. Okay. So he's got this harem and what are you guys doing all the time? Uh, well, his, like his favorite thing was first of all, he loved the fact that if he told me to do something, I would do it automatically. So he sucked at waking up in the morning. So I would leave my apartment at like five AM, five 30 AM and go into his apartment and crawl into bed with him and his girlfriend. And so that I could wake him for the day and then that we would have sex. Like the first, first thing, you know, he would like wake up groggily and then he just fucked the shit out of me. Okay. And we also did a lot of foresums in that situation. And this is kind of like where my, uh, gone wrong story. I, we didn't hear the gone wrong stories yet. No. Okay. This is one of those situations where I would say this is a cautionary tale. Okay. Yeah, get to it. I like cautionary tales. We were having a foursome. I have always been, he, he loved to choke. And yes. And he was always a very aggressive in every single way, like face hitting a lot of like slapping things that you would say, okay, yeah, this is perfect. This is a good amount of pressure, but he would take it the step further. Well, the problem with narcissists, if he's a true narcissist, they really can't feel empathy for somebody else. So that's a scary person to let abuse you because at the end of the day, they don't really care. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. Actually that, that's kind of what ended up, you know, ending that relationship. But we were like all having sex and he was like kind of doing the round about way where all of our asses were in a line and he would just go from one to the next fucking us. And then he kind of, he had me stand up and he choked me to the point where I passed out. And so this is what I've been told by the other sub who was in the room is that she had walked in after grabbing water and she sees me seizing on the ground. Oh my God. Completely blacked out and she starts like screaming like, Hey, we need to call 911. We need to call 911. And he goes into a very like feral mindset and where he's just hovering over me, hovering over my head saying, No, no, they're fine. It's okay. Everything's fine. Don't call anyone. And so the other sub who is a very like empathetic person, she just stood there and would call anybody in that position that acts empathetic normal. Yeah. Like a normal person, a normal person sees another person in distress is going to try now. That's would be normal. You don't even have to be that empathetic. Just normal. Go on. Yeah. That's fair enough. Yeah. She, she wanted, she literally stood there bawling her eyes out because she thought I was dead. And so when I came to, I just had him like hovering over my head. Just telling me that he loved me and that it was okay. And that he was right there. And I was probably out like maybe three minutes or so, which is way too long of a time. And so if anyone is ever in that situation, just call 911, just get the person help. Listen, I don't like the whole choking thing. And you know, I had somebody once on my show, a woman who was like hot waving for her guy and she met a stranger, a man she's never met before, someone online, you know, in a parking lot. That's fine. It's all consensual, right? And she let that guy like choke her. And I said to her like, I'm sorry, but like, you should not let strangers like fucking choke you. And the point of the story is that somebody like on Spotify made a comment, like, how could you say like choking is wrong? Like that's what she, I'm like, I'm not saying it's wrong, but like, I can not sit there and like as a mother of a child, you know what I mean? Like all these people have parents out there and loved ones. Like you shouldn't let any stranger choke you. Like that's something to do only with somebody that you really trust and really know. I just don't think it's fucking worth it. It's like a life or death situation. You know what I mean? Even if the person doesn't mean it, you can fucking die from it. What is that? What's the, is it that fucking worth it to be choked out by somebody? Like do it with your partner of five years. You know what I mean? Sorry. That's my, and I always give that PSA and anybody that doesn't think that that's a smart PSA to put out there is like just as bad as this guy that was like choking you out, you know what I'm saying? Like what's wrong with you? Yeah. No, I think you're a hundred percent right in terms of like, it is, it is dangerous and therefore it should only be with someone that you actually trust to stop the scene and start like CPR or such. Shouldn't even get to that point that knows what they're doing and is safe and is bed in it and it cares about you and you're in a, you know, you know, this person and destroy let's move on because this guy's like a psychopath and I don't want to get stuck on this and I want to hear you're like already fascinating me with your story. So I want more. So like after that, did you dump him? Uh, no. Okay. I wish I wish I could say I did, but it was one of those things where he had me pulled in so tight. Yeah, I guess. Um, that it was, it was around that same time. That I met my partner now Fox. I met him in tandem in the same time as with the other guy. And he was completely opposite. You know, we have a 16 year age gap. So I was coming in and I was just like, I don't trust the fact that this man is so much older than me and is still interested in me. And so I came in. Life, by the way. I actually, the other sub that was with the harem guy, uh, she met him and they started playing and then she said, Oh, I think you'd really like this guy and brought me into it. So yes, I get it. He was in fat life, but I was, it was more of a personal connection that brought me to him. And so we ended up just starting to talk. Like it wasn't like his immediate action wasn't like, Hey, he wanted to fuck me and like he wanted to rock my world type that kind of behavior. He was like, you know, I want to learn about you. I want to talk to you. And we ended up beginning like a basically 20 questions type game and we would text like every day, like hundreds of times a day, just asking questions and like learning about what I liked and what he liked. And is he a Dom too? Yes. He was a very experienced Dom. He had had several subs. He was very into Shabari. He had already at that point, that was when he was starting bitches love leather. Mm hmm. And so he like was building cuffs and trying things on me and like my, the other girl, and we would just kind of, we're in this dynamic of basically exploratory Dom sub relationship. Yeah. And really, I remember the first time I talked to a Dom on my show and this was like around the same time that 50 shades of gray, like just like, and everyone thinks it's like BDSM and King is all about sex. And it was like shocking for me to find out that like there was, there's typically a lot of back and forth and writing and questions. It's like very mental. It's almost more so that than it is sex. So like all that talking and everything that you're saying is like just shows that he was very experienced because that's typically how a Dom sub relationship starts out. Okay. Listen guys, we all know that performance in the bedroom isn't just physical. 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Again, that's motor bunny.com slash strictly, or just go to the description and click on the link. Yeah. He actually would have me write like paragraphs. Yeah. So I had a friend that got into that. I was like, Oh my God, I'd rather kill myself than be writing reports. What is this? Like college? I mean, she had to write a lot of shit back and forth. It's very, it's very, that's like, that's how it is. And that's why I think a lot of it's like a lot of very intelligent people get into PDSM and kick because there is a lot of like stuff that goes down that like, I don't know, I'm intelligent, but I'm not into it. But anyway, go on. Sorry. Yeah. I mean, like we, it was ultimately like the connection that No, I know that's what it's about. Yeah. It's very layered and deep. I mean, there's, and, and typically like that's how it starts out. You know, and I remember just, I think the average person that's not in that world doesn't understand, uh, that stuff that goes on first. And, and that's how you really establish that Dom sub relationship. Yeah. Yeah. I, and, and that's, I think that that's why I trusted him and that I knew that it showed that the other guy was manipulative and yet like that had the greater hold on me at the time. And so when my boyfriend had basically gave me the ultimatum of like, you need to cut off of these like Dom sub relationships. Like you need to pick one. I broke up with Fox and of course I chose the bad relationship because that was the one that was giving me the constant endorphins of like, I've been there, done that. We've all most girls, you know, those are the ones that's really hard to get away from sometimes, unfortunately, you know, there's like a very dysfunctional pull. I've, I've been there, done that myself. Yeah. So, uh, and then it, it wasn't a smart decision. I really broke Fox's heart and it was something where we didn't talk for, I want to say about three to four years. Oh, wow. Interesting. Yeah. And so I kind of like continued my relationship with my boyfriend and he was continued to like search out for other women. And ultimately he found this girl who he would like met her on bumble or whatever. And he brought her home and I like, we had a threesome and it was the first threesome that I ever experienced that I wanted to happen again and again, even though they had penetrative sex. And I got to enjoy her and I like bonded with her and we kind of just fell into a triad. That's what we called it. Yeah. I've heard all these words now that I do my show. Wonderful. Yeah. Yeah. And so people call it a threple. I don't know what word, you know, I kind of hate the threple word. I prefer triad. Yeah. I think that sounds more like highbrow triad than threple. Yeah. Yeah. So we dated as a triad for, I would say like about nine to 10 months as a very like successful, high communication, really healthy experience. And then I accidentally got pregnant. Like by your guy. I mean, who do you, I hope, I'm hoping you got pregnant. Which one did you get pregnant by? Cause you're like, by my guy, cause at that time it was just us in the triad. That was the only relationship. Okay. So the narcissist guy isn't involved anymore. Correct. Okay. Cool. And so I ended up, you know, we chose, I chose an abortion because it was not in a good time and it was not a safe spot space to actually bring a child into. And that kind of started to show the cracks in the relationship when I needed him to care for me. He would, he chose other people to over me. And at the same time, my mental health was in the trash. It was, you know, it was one of those things where we were at the beginning of COVID, I couldn't really talk to anyone. I was having mental breakdowns because, you know, my boyfriend and my girlfriend, they were having great times together. I was encouraging them to have individual time. I wanted them to have like go on vacation together, bond. I wanted to be like a great supportive partner, but they didn't give the same to me. Like I didn't get the same privileges as to go on dates with her. I mean, I did go on dates with her, but I just didn't feel like he supported us as much as I supported them. And so around that same time, I met my current partner. We're going to call him G and he and I were working together. And I just kind of, he talked to me and that's kind of how our relationship started as well, which was just talking about real life shit. And I had asked B if I could sleep with G. And like B was just absolutely in rage. You know, how could I want another dick? Oh yeah, because it was whole time, even though he's been having his fill, right? Of all these women and you have two, by the way, but there was, he was still the only dick in town, right? Yes. He was like, I mean, like I would keep, it was never something where I would bring any man or another dick into the same household. Like everything else was, we would only bring women home. And so when I showed genuine interest in like, I wanted to date D as an actual relationship and it so bird-duper like pissed him off. And so I cheated then while they were on vacation, G and I ended up sleeping together for the first time and he had just a beautiful dick. He was very long and girthy. And when we had sex, it was finally like a situation where he cared about my pleasure and he wanted, like he fucked me until I was satisfied. And it was kind of the beginning of the end, I think for myself in that moment where I was like, this man respects me and treats me kindly. And we have good sex. Right. Like this is a game changer. And, you know, so I ended up, it probably happened within a month or two. I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend and my girlfriend and they continued to have their relationship. I actually now, uh, they are married and they have a baby. And then also the narcissist guy stayed with the other sub that we were involved with and they're in a relationship. So I kind of left all of these situations and they, you know, they're still there. Yeah. And is this guy Fox too? Same person? No. So, okay. Don't get there. It's okay. I just wanted to make sure because I know you, your partner, you said, is Fox, is that a business partner or a lover partner? Is there another triad going on? So my, so I have, so I have my partner G and he and I are nesting partners. So we live together. And then my other partner is Fox and he and I, I see where it's going. Wait, let's not get there just yet. Okay. So you wind up now with G. You finally have a good guy, right? Like that you like these, like the whole package finally, right? And this is like guys, like treating you well. Yes. Okay. And he knew I was Polly. Like we started the relationship with the conversation of like, I knew that I still wanted to have the time to go adventure. And he said, yeah, absolutely. Like we kept that communication open. It was great. And I reconnected with Fox and which that, that relationship. We had checked in with each other over the years, but nothing, no actual, like full, like conversations. Mm hmm. And so we started talking again. I went over to his house and there was still the connection. And so we started playing very tentatively. And although we were like playing, we were also just talking back to where we started, which was just millions of questions, lots of explaining where emotionally we were, where we were wanting our boundaries, what we were interested in, what we still wanted to do with each other. And it's kind of, it's snowball effect into a very healthy relationship. He is my Dom. He collared me, which was something that I've never had anyone else color me before. And then like, it was probably about, I want to say a year and a half ago that he asked me if I wanted to go to a King convention. And the King convention that he was specifically asking about was this one in Portland. And it's called King Fest. And he was taking bitches love leather and he was going to be vending it. And so we, I said yes, because why not? And we ended up like going to this event. And as I went into this event, I was terrified because I had never been in a lifestyle event. I had never really vended or I had never like sold any of the bitches love leather products. Yeah. I had just worn them. I was his test bunny, like trying things on. I was, we used all of our gear in our playtime, but I never actually sold it to someone else. And so he dressed me for the whole event. It was the first time that I had let him put clothes on me because I'm not a very feminine person and it gives me a lot of anxiety to dress feminine. That's interesting. So yeah. And he knows that and he knew that I like wanted to fit in with the other lifestyle people, but also that I still wanted to hold my own style per se. And so he ended up making me like a leather body suit type thing where he fitted it to me and he bought me pantyhose, which he's a big hoser, as you would say. And it was always something where I knew he loved it, but it always made me uncomfortable because I didn't like the feeling of the feminine aspect. Right. Of course. If you don't like that, but that's very feminine. Yeah. And so kind of at the beginning of the event, I was really shy. I was really like I covered up. And then kind of each day I wore less and less clothing and I became even more confident. And I kind of just started feeling myself. I was like acknowledging that I could be sexy and that I could wear feminine clothing without being feminine per se. No, excuse me. And then so I and I was selling, you know, our products. I was able to like gush about like, Oh, yeah, you know, we use this hood and it's my hood. Like it's my favorite item in our whole store and it's a full leather hood with a zipper mouth. Right. And I like I was able to kind of grow in that. And then also in that same space, they have this huge dungeon. And so we would go in the nighttime and we would we would play in this, this dungeon. And he like tied me up. We did like a scene with one of his other partners where it we ended up with like a crowd of 20 people in front of us watching us play because I had grabbed his partner while I was hooded and had my arms tied behind my back. I had used my legs to throw the partner onto the ground and sit on top of him. And then because he's a smaller stature guy, I was able to keep him on the ground and apparently everyone watching was very entertained by me bradding out and keeping him on the ground and Fox just kind of stood by and laughed and, you know, was entertained. Like we had a really great time. Did you enjoy having that audience and having people watch you? I enjoyed the idea of it. I, I loved my hood on. I, as long as I can't see. Interesting. I love everything. Like I love, I love the idea of people watching, but if I have my eyes, it's like, it's the anxiety, you know, it comes and it takes over. So for all of the scenes where he would tie me up, he would put my hood on and then I would be able to enjoy the scene, even though we had many people surrounding us. And so we, I even made a friend at this first event who was really interested in the hood that I was wearing. And at our next event, which it's for professional dominatrix, that's the focus of this other event. Mm hmm. I met the same guy that I had met at King fest and I ran into him at this other event and I was like, Oh my gosh, like I've been thinking about you so much. Not that I was, you know, I had a small crush on him, but it was something where I was like, I vibed with him and I wanted to get to know this guy, which I find very ironic because I am very much interested in women and female bodies, but every single person that I've kind of like met in the lifestyle and connected with has been men. Why do you think? Do you think it's because you like a Dom and there's more male Dom's out there than females? Or like, why do you, why would you think that that's the case? I think that I am more reserved when it comes to approaching women and feminine people. And so like, I think I just, it feel more emboldened to approach men because I'm not afraid of them telling me no. Yeah, I have to tell you, I had this woman on, I forget, Guena, Genevieve Lejeune. She started Skirt Club, which is like a bisexual, bi curious women's club. That's like grown to like 27,000 people because she was bi. And I said, you know, how come a lot of times women that are into women tell me that they feel a lot more shy, you know, going after a woman than they do a man. And she said, that's because there's no like, there's no like a role established between two women, like who's going to be the aggressive one? Who's not going to, you know what I mean? Like they don't know what to do. And that's like typically the reason. And that made a lot of sense to me, you know, no one knows like who's the dominant here. You know what I mean? With a man and a woman, you just like the guy typically, right? At 99% of the time, like takes charge, right? You got two women, like who's going to be the one, right? And it kind of was like, oh, that kind of makes sense. Cause you're not the first woman to say like, I really like women and they're my fave, but for some reason, like I'm more shy or, you know, hitting on them than a man, even though you like them more, you know? Yeah. And it is like to this day, still very sexually attracted. Two women and then women and creatures. And yet I still have yet, it's been five years since I've slept with one. And that was my ex-girlfriend. And every time I'm like, okay, this next event, I will, you know, hit on a woman and we'll see where that goes. And I have yet to get there. How come you haven't got one of your guys to make it happen? Like that first guy. You know, honestly, I think it's just not, well, I mean, with Fox, I, like our relationship is very us and worst. We've never really, we've only allowed his other partner to be involved in the same space. And my nesting partner, his love is for music and music only. So even though I tell him, Hey, you should go, you know, find someone, find a girl to fuck, you know, like bring her home. He just always, you know, is focused on music and doesn't go out and kind of, you know, explore. So we say that his relationship, his relationship with me and his relationship with music, those are his two loves and that's all he needs. Interesting. But he's totally fine over you having another love and, but he's not down to like hear about it or anything. Like there's no, there's no, none of that kind of kink going on, correct with him? No, he's like, he's not a cook. Yeah. He really, like he is friends with Fox. They are on good terms. He will take, we have a, my nesting partner and I have a child together and he'll take our child so that I can go be with Fox and have our like weekly playtime. Wow. This is crazy. Let me ask you a couple of questions because I always want to know like, so like when Christmas happens, like, who do you hang out with? And like on your birthday, who gets to take you out? You know what happens on those milestone, you know, on those days where typically you're with your primary? Is your nesting person like your primary partner? Yeah, I would say like he is my primary in terms of just like we've, we have built our family, like we have a child together. So we do this standard, you know, we have our events for holidays and, but I always make plans with Fox at the same time. Like in, in terms of it may not be on the day, but it is within the week of each, you know, event that we go and we spend quality time with each other and we get to celebrate. Yeah, that makes sense. He have a primary partner himself or another one that is, that is like a nesting partner for him besides you. He has, he has a wife and then technically I think he has four other partners outside of me. Mm-hmm. I am his only sub and, or I'm his only rat. Everyone else has like their own dynamics with him, but he is technically, I believe technically he has six other partners. Wow. And he can't hook you up with any of those other girls? No, it's not like that. It's just not the interest. I mean, I'm friendly with them. We do, we double date with them. We do like play parties at his house. Interesting. And it's never gone to the point though that you and them ever hooked up. No, just flirting. We just kind of keep it light. It's, it's kind of one of those things where you're like, I don't want to make it more complicated. Yeah. I would like to be involved with someone who's like maybe friends with my circle, but not involved. I get it. Like what you're saying is if you're going to get a girl involved, which you would like, you don't want it to be someone that's connected to him or whatever you would want that person to be separated from all this other stuff. That makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. You're not just looking to hook up with a girl for sex, right? Like if you wanted a girl, you would want more than that and have a relationship because you can even with all these other partners, right? And that's what you would want. Yeah. I think I'm more of a sappy lover in that terms of I want, I want a girlfriend. I want someone who I can, you know, take my kid to the park with. I want someone who would like to do life rather than just sleeping together. Yeah. So that, that makes more sense. I forgot about that. Like you're not really just looking just to hook up with a girl because you could with any of those people. You're going to make another connection with the woman. It's going to be a real connection. Yeah. Definitely. So you have how many partners right now? Just the, the two guys? Yes. Just two. And then the other guy has no other partners besides you and the other guy has four. Yeah. Interesting. It's so interesting. And which is the one, who's the guy that has bitches love, loves leather? Is he the one with the four girls? Yeah. So Fox is the owner of bitches love leather. He has his basically it's like kitchen table, poly. With his partners. So I'm friends with his wife, you know, we do dinners, everything. I've met every single one of his partners basically and we're all on pretty good terms. And so kind of with, I was, I have a business degree. And so when I started helping out with bitches love leather, just with the events, I also started asking a lot of the questions of like, Oh, well, like, what about this with the business? What about this? And we, it kind of just found this rhythm where I wanted to be more involved and I kept asking and pushing the questions to be involved. And so in October of this past year, 2025 is when I actually got put on payroll for the business. And I really was able to deep dive into bitches love leather. I want it. Yeah. It was something where it was like, I didn't intend on becoming part of the business, but I love the business. And I've always, you know, seen him create all these products that work that they are good quality. Like I, I know him and I know that he wants to actually put things out in the world that are not cheap and that won't break. And he stands behind. And so I kind of basically the same person who I fell in love with in terms of great communication, a genuinely great person, Fox became like that that molds into bitches love leather. Like BLL is his baby, you know, and I kind of fell in love with that as well. Yeah, I love that. Why don't you give a, please give a shout out because like, listen, you guys got a lot of stuff on here. I, I'm like looking around while you were just talking there. I went back on, uh, give the website out, talk about like what they could see on there, what they could get. I will put the link to bitches love leather in the description, but just give like your overall shout out, explain like what they could find. I love your fucking story. I'm so glad he had you call it. Yeah. I can imagine his story too. But anyway, give your, uh, you know, talk up, uh, bitches love leather because tons of people are looking for this kind of stuff and you're saying his stuff is like super high end, right? Yeah. So we are bitches love leather. You can find us at bitches love leather.com and on socials as well. We have Instagram and X. It can all be, it will all be linked. And we provide handmade high quality leather bondage gear. He hand makes every single piece. So everything is quality checked. He also is the designer and is the brains behind it. So he also pour hand pours our silicone toys. So we have dildos. We have butt plugs. We have ball gags. We are just coming out with penis gags bone bits, uh, for all of our furry friends. And then we also have the ability to do custom work. If someone is looking for something more specific, it is every, we, we are a small business. So if anyone reaches out to us, you're literally going to probably talk to me or Fox, because those are the two people that are part of our business. Yeah, I love that. So, but people can, you know, even if they have questions regarding any of the products or they're like me and they're like, Oh, can you make me a spreader bar or whatever? They want something really handcrafted and well, well made, right? They can, uh, contact you guys and you will talk directly to you. I love this. How long has it been around? It is a, as a business, it's been five years. He started it seven years ago and we are just kind of, we're, we're really trying to kick off and make sure that we can get the word out about our products and wanting to bring high quality gear to kinksters because we know that there's a lot of cheap shit that you can get at the, you know, porn shops, at sex shops. And none of it is going to actually be able to last and handle play like we play. And so all of our products are tested by us. You know, we are using them on a daily basis. And so we, we stand full behind our products because of how much we are in the lifestyle and we actually know what the people in lifestyle need. Yeah. No, I love that. I listen, you do a good job pitching your business, you know, this business that you hopped on board with and you could tell your passionate about it as well. You're a good spokesperson. Let's get the word out for bitches. Love leather. I love your story. Oh my God. Thank you. I didn't expect it. I don't know why, but, uh, I mean, a cautionary tale turned into a super interesting story. It's like a little bit of everything, you know, plus you got this great stuff that people could go by. I will put the link to bitches love leather in the description and listen, El, thanks so much for calling in. If you want to send me pictures for my Patreon, you could send me like a couple shots of like stuff on bitches love leather, but also of yourself. If you want like anonymous picks, that would be great. If you, I don't know, you know, if that's cool. And then when we hang up, you'll get free access to my discord. And if you go in there and make a profile, feel free to put like bitches love leather in your profile, the link there, you could do that and you could promote it and do whatever you want. But thanks so much for calling in. This was super interesting. Awesome. Thank you so much, Kathy. Thanks, El. Bye. Bye. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called strictly anonymous confession, secret sex lives of total strangers is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audio book. It's still not going to be out till August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories and they're all told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book. Think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories. 17 of them. They're really short chapters. Easy read. You could read, you know, one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in eback format, paperback format. And finally, the audio book is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my discord. My discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you get into my discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other. And that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you could win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my discord. It's private. Like I said, all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audio book, the ebook or the paperback, send it to me at strictlyanonymouspodcastatgmail.com. That's strictlyanonymouspodcastatgmail.com. And I will send you the link to discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. Okay. I just want to tell you before you go that I do have a book. The book is called strictly anonymous confessions, secret sex lives of total strangers. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cook queen story. There's a cook old story. There's a gang being girl story. There's like, you know, like I said, 17 stories and they're all told in the third person, right? So I took the interview and I rewrote it in the third person. I wouldn't call it like an erotica book, though there's plenty of sex in there, right? But I didn't write it to sound like erotica because that's like the vibe of my show. You're going to learn a lot. You're probably going to get a little turned on. It's a different way to hear these stories. Like I said, because they're written out in third person. There's an ebook available if you don't want your partner to know that you're reading my book. Get the ebook. It's available. If you buy my book in any format, I will throw in a complimentary link to my discord. My discord does not disappoints. Okay. There's no way you'll get the discord and go in there and be like, oh, this sucks. Okay. It's like pretty amazing. There's tons of people on there and everybody shares content with each other. That's what's great about discord. You get to post your own videos and pictures and there's tons of channels and we have contests over there. It's a super fun place to be. I will be giving anyone that buys my book at any time access to my discord. It is private. This is the only way you could get in is through me giving you the link. And that's why I think my discord is so great because I have vetted people. It's not like it's just open to the public. So everybody that's in there, people that listen to my show and people that listen to my show are fucking great. So my discord is fucking great. My book is great. You're going to love it. If you buy it, all you got to do is send me the receipt or a picture of proof that you bought it and I will give you free access to my discord. Send it to strictlyanonymouspodcast.gmail.com. You could find my book in the link in the description. Okay. Or just Google it strictly anonymous confessions, secret sex lives of total strangers. You can find it anywhere. You buy books, send me the picture and I'll give you access to my discord email strictly anonymouspodcast.gmail.com. Anyway, thanks so much for listening.