The Big Suey: Vocal Masturbation (feat. David Samson)

Welcome to the Big Suey, presented by DraftKings. Why are you listening to this show? The podcast that seems very similar to the other Dan Lebitard podcast. I'm sorry, I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact, the only difference seems to be this imaging. I have been tempted in restaurants just walking past tables to grab somebody's fries if they're just there. That hasn't happened to you guys? I've done it. And now, here's the marching man to nowhere, fat face, and the habitual liar. This episode of the Dan Lebitard Show is presented by DraftKings. DraftKings. The crown is yours. All right, let's go. Let's go. Let's get started. The commercial I was thinking of was Lacoste, and it's wordlessly, Djokovic and Serena, they're sort of covered wordlessly in fabric. And it just says playing with icons. That's the commercial that I was thinking of. David Sampson comes on with us now, as he does every week. The name of the podcast is Nothing Personal. He covers a lot of ground, as I keep saying every time that he's on, that never mind solo, I don't hear a group of people talking about very much. And he handles it, just him and Coca. him, Coca and Danny B around here up for some sort of award, some sort of podcast award. What are you smirking about? Is it because of the name of the award? And Kirsten. That makes you smile? What are you smiling about? No, I'm smiling, wondering whether the budget for awards approaches PTFOs, because I don't know what we spent or what the submission fees were. But let me tell you, Coca and Danny B up for the same award in the same category as the Jenga piece for their shows. Meaning without Matthew Coca, nothing personal falls apart. Jenga. Without Danny B, the Dan Levitard show falls apart. And so I said to Coca on the show this morning live, you got this, man. Because without you, nothing personal is toast. But, like, of course no one from PTFO was nominated for a Django award. There's too many damn people. What are these awards now? The Duckies. The first. Now, I don't think you can call them the first annual. I think it's just the first. The inaugural Ducky Awards in L.A. And I said, Coca, you're going there. He's on a plane to L.A. leaving shortly. I said, hey, you're going to be there for All-Star Weekend. With a bunch of other people Dan paid to go there, you could go out and do stuff. And he thought he wasn't cool enough to hang out with Pablo or Amin. I want to play some sound for you here that has enraged Mike Ryan. Boomer Esiason, who looks like the future of America, okay? If some people get their way, Boomer Esiason is the avatar that will appear as one of the stars on the flag in just how people should look in the next version of homogenized America. Let's listen to Boomer Esiason getting mad that the Olympics would have a few Americans saying, yeah, I've got some bittersweet sort of feelings about representing my country. But I mean, like I was sitting there watching, you know, the freestyle skating by, you know, our ice skating team, skating team that won the gold medal. Are they happy to represent America? Yeah, they seem to be happy to represent America. Not everybody is, but everybody should just pipe down and just do their sport and play for our country and respect the flag and respect everything that's going on. Shut up and ski. That's it. Pipe down is such a great old person phrase. Can someone find me the origins of pipe down? Why are pipes coming down? What's happening when pipes are coming down? It's another way to say shut up. It's another way to say bleep you on mainstream television. Then say that. Say that. Say what you mean. Say it with your chest. you chicken shit because your MAGA-coated bullshit that's been going on for 10 years. The guy is in office for a second time because his whole platform is how much this country stinks. Yet you sit on the sidelines when Nick Bosa wears a MAGA hat on the postgame. Wears the same energy. I'm a sports fan. My soccer team won the Club World Cup. He was on the frigging stage. I had to eat it. I'm a NASCAR fan. Riley Gaines is giving incantations. The president is literally taking laps at the Daytona International Motor Speedway. It took me 45 minutes to get into the national championship game because the Secret Service is there checking everybody because he so effectively uses sports to sports watch his image. And yet I've had to eat it. You got your way. They're not kneeling during the anthem. They're doing everything they can so you can live in your little bubble and not be threatened by the reality of your decisions. the cost of what you actually voted for. The liberals, the left, they all had to eat it because you guys were so loud and so soft and so triggered. But you can't tune in to the Winter Olympics, a sport that you probably only worry about every four years, and you don't want to be faced with the reality that maybe some people, and according to polling, a hell of a lot of people, aren't exactly thrilled with how things are going in this country. and they are using their one moment in most cases to highlight that because that is universally American and you want them to shut up? Quit being a boomer Esiason. Put your name to it. Say what you f***ing mean. He did. No, he didn't. He just said shut up. He just said shut up. He said pipe down. I am so sick of these snowflakes that were telling me I was soft for 10 years And I had to swallow it. I had to swallow it. You use your platform however you want. But if you're going to actually attack other people for sharing your feelings, then maybe don't just code your language. Actually say it because they're actually being brave. I don't know how you decide, Mike, when you have to eat it or when you have to swallow it. But I think that you're angry with Boomer when you're just angry with so many other things. You're taking it out on him. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I think it is so soft to not want to actually sit down and face the consequences of your decision. You don't want to even be triggered to have someone say to your face, things aren't going great. You'd like, you'd rather ignore that. Yet in every other walk of life, all you want to do is complain about how bad things are so much so that we've totally burned up the constitution and we're in this goddamn mess. I hate when people do that. I have more respect for the people that take to their platform and actually say what they mean with their chest than this shit pipe down is that an older phrase than shut your trap uh pick one i'm gonna give i'm gonna put a handful of them in front of you david you pick one older phrase pipe down or shut your trap shut your trap pipe down or kick rocks kick rocks pipe down or put a sock in it put a sock gonna keep choosing the one the new one pipe down he's playing the game incorrectly pipe down or shut your pie hole pipe down is older shut your pie hole is new no one knew what that was uh pipe down or zip it tied pipe down or cool it pal pipe down uh what about simmer down oh simmer down simmer down and find for me why it is pipes are coming down please i don't understand why pipes need to be put down yeah i have the origin here. So the boat Swain is where this comes from. So original sailing ships, they were given to the crew by sounding the boat Swain's pipe. So what you were doing was piping down the hammocks, which was a signal to go below deck. And when an officer wanted a sailor to be dismissed below, he would have him piped down. I'm sorry, I missed most of what you said, just because of how Tony was laughing off mic at the way that sailing ships just came out sounding like shits. I think of him doing that stuff during the heat broadcasts, and it makes me laugh. Yeah, I told you. I'm now in my head about the way that I speak when I've never been before. I've won three Emmys. You guys know that, right? Yes. Really? Cool. Not a ducky, though. Not a Jenga piece award. You ever won a ducky? You may have won three Emmys, but talk to me when you've won a ducky. I mean, when you're a Jenga piece. Uh, David, I have been, I'm going to say just a little bit surprised by the idea that in, uh, Adam Silver's spectrum as leader, I've seen him go from a really strong figure viewed as the most progressive and strongest commissioner in sport to a precipitous descent sense that makes it clear to me that he works for the owners the same way Goodell does, although less polished than Goodell does it. because I believe he's gone from very strong to very weak. Where are you with Silver having lost control of his league? I think that when you had him as, I think it goes back to the bubble. It goes back to his view on all of the social injustices during that time when the NBA players walked out of the bubble. And it was almost like our belief in New York that Rudy Giuliani was this amazing guy during 9-11. It is staggering what can happen during crisis when some people step up and then all of a sudden you expect that to be their default position through every situation that follows. And generally, crisis brings out something in someone. What we're seeing with Adam Silver is that his baseline is that he is in job protection mode the way every commissioner is, as they should be. They work for the owners. The owners are on the comp committee that sets their comp. They're trying to get their teams to be worth more because that's how they're judged. And they don wanna get too close to the fire Adam Silver had the support to get as close as he got but now that has gone away And so you seeing Adam Silver become a normal commissioner now And for me that's good enough. It's not a negative. It's not a positive. It's just a fact of life. Well, it becomes an accountant though, to me, he's just somebody there who's there to make money. He's not actually in control of the owners, unlike his predecessor. His predecessor was in control of the owners. Like David Stern didn't seem like he was working for those guys. Those guys kind of feared David Stern. It's a pretty abrupt shift. I don't blame the billionaires for not wanting to be run by somebody, but it's a big shift. Let me remind you that the David Stern era, if David Stern were commissioner today with this group of owners, he would not be the David Stern of yesteryear. It was a totally different time that called for a different skill set. David Stern was a bull in a china shop where there were a bunch of porcelain pieces allowing him to act that way. Adam Silver recognizes he can't be that way because he is surrounded by power in a way that David Stern never was. I wanted to ask you here about Pablo's story. It's now eight installments, and you and Amin have been great in providing a really strong executive uh, lawyerly, uh, strength and wisdom to a nuance to everything that's happening around a complicated story here. The latest installment, the reason that it was shocking to me is I did not see a way David under any circumstance that, uh, the aspiration story would be the tip of the iceberg. I thought it had to be the entire iceberg and anything else that he got after that would be just something that was also a tip, but that aspiration was the iceberg. I'm beginning to think that Pablo is going to keep doing this and keep finding stuff, and that the $48 million of no-show job alleged money is not going to be the end of it. It's just the start of it. Well, you know Pablo like I know Pablo, and he is like a dog with a bone. and the benefit of having an episode one the way we had it on September 3rd, where this aspiration story was broken by Pablo. He had done reporting on it for months, but it hadn't seen the light of day. Once it sees the light of day, you end up getting more incoming calls than before the story is released when it's all outgoing calls. Because once something comes out, then all of a sudden people are like, oh, wait a minute, I know something about this. Let me get in touch with the person who's doing the story. So it's pretty common that there be more there. When Pablo started with us on September 3rd, he did not know where there was. And that's the beautiful thing about investigative journalism is you do your work that can stand on its own. But you have to be, I guess, flexible enough to have more episodes, not just because people are watching and interested. And the NBA trembles every time Pablo releases a show. Can you imagine if he ever did one live? you do live, then it's absolute insanity. But he has discovered so many more things. And he's not stopping, Dan. You've given him this money. You've given him this power. And he's using it to not just purposely take down institutions. He's doing it to expose what is actually happening within these institutions. And the audience loves it. 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Go to MillerLite.com slash Dan to find delivery options near you, or you can pick up some Miller Lite pretty much anywhere they sell beer. It's Miller time. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. 96 calories and 3.2 carbs per 12 ounces. DraftKings Sportsbook puts you in the middle of basketball's biggest star-driven moments. Bet player props. Bet live. And when a game turns fast, DraftKings has your back with early exit. If your player gets injured any time in the first half, your bet stays alive. And once it settles, you still get paid in cash. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code DAN. New customers bet just $5, and if your bet wins, you'll get $200 in bonus bets instantly. That's with code DAN. In partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. New York, call 877-8-HOPE-N-Y or text HOPE-N-Y. Connecticut, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. On behalf of Boothill Casino in Kansas, wager tax pass-through may apply in Illinois. 21 and over in most states. Void in Ontario. Restrictions apply. Bet must win to receive bonus bets which expire in seven days. Minimum odds required. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co slash audio. Limited time offer. Don Lebertard. We love you. We've got you. We've all got each other. Let's go right now. Stugatz. One, two, three, Brett. One, two, three, Brett. This is the Dan Levatore Show with the Stu Gads. I need to correct you and Pablo. We, Metal Ark Media, all the full-time people here own a percentage of the company. We have invested in the journalism of what it is that Pablo is doing, not me. And when you say that this last episode that you did was interesting to you, I'll ask you the same question that I asked Pablo yesterday. If you chose one thing from the last episode that stayed with you, for me, it was that this pursuit of Balmer and this obsession of Balmer can be linked through Kawhi's trainer and a lawsuit back to 2017 when he wasn't even with the Clippers. Like that, that to me was more interesting than all other things. But what was it to you having gone through all of the paperwork? Yeah, to me, it was the end. The end of the episode just was gobsmacking to me because what Pablo presented was the possibility of a document existing. And a document is what Adam Silver and Wachtell Lipton have been looking for. a smoking gun, they call it, which is obviously a totally incorrect way of describing evidence in the investigation that is happening against Steve Ballmer and the Clippers. But a document that Pablo is wondering whether it exists talking about salary cap circumvention. Tampering is what you're referring to. That wasn't interesting to me because everyone tampers with our guys and we tamper with everyone else's guys. And we're planning years ahead with our tampering always. So that was standard. But a document where there is absolute salary cap circumvention for a second time, this major, that requires punishment of Steve Ballmer. And that's something that Adam Silver, in my opinion, has been trying to avoid. And if that document exists, and we don't know whether it does, but incoming calls will be helpful here. If it does exist, that would be the end of Adam Silver trying to avoid punishment. Dave, longtime NBA insider Mark Stein reports that an unidentified group has reportedly expressed interest in having Mark Cuban buy back the Mavericks. And obviously he sold his majority stake in 23 for $3.5 billion and retains a 27% share. A, is this a situation that you've seen where an owner sells a piece to then buy it back a couple years later? And what if the Adelson-Dumont family does not want to sell it back to them, which they don't? How does that work? Well, once you own something, you never have to sell it back. You can keep it until you're forced to sell by your partners, you know, Donald Sterling style. And Mark Cuban wanting to get back in the game is funny because he views the NBA as the only outlet where he can get the votes to become an owner. But frankly, now that he's gone, I think he stays gone. And the reasons he sold, for whatever the reasons are, he will not be able to buy it back at the same price. Whereas, let's say Jeffrey Lurie could have bought back the Marlins at the same price for a number of years, just didn't want to. With the Mavericks situation, the price has changed. It has grown. Adam Silver's done his job. So I think the reason Mark Cuban sold, those reasons stay. Does he want to maintain relevancy? That's the hardest thing about selling a team if you're an owner, that all of a sudden you don't feel like that you are important. Your ego is not being massaged. You try to put yourself into positions of relevancy where it may not work as well. So I do know of owners who want to get back, but they don't because the financial reasons they sold still exist. Which is the worst of the mistakes here? I'm going to play for you. Coca here on nothing personal, struggling with a word and you tried to help him. Let play that sound Twitter and Instagram and TikTok It it in sense of in sense Geez in sense of you got this is that worse or is this worse Let me take metric metric matriculate the ball down the field The Juju whoa the Juju Juju being Juju Leaving the premises as if a mushroom cloud has exploded Did he matriculate the ball down the field? It sounds like you were a skipping record there. Yeah. I worry, like I wanted you to do the stroke test after that. With Coca, I just knew that it was a tongue twister because he had said incentivize three seconds before the clip you just played. So I knew that he had it with him at some point. I was concerned that you were in a position where you needed someone to hit you in the back. So I'm going to say that's worse. Yeah, I mean, I have been short-circuiting lately sometimes in ways that frighten me and are sort of stroke-adjacent here. But you said something here earlier. You said crisis brings out something in people, and you left it open-ended, like I guess plenty of people fold in the face of crisis. What is that? But what is crisis brought out in you that you've been surprised that you weren't sure existed in you where you're in the middle of crisis and then all of a sudden you're learning something about yourself? Well, it certainly brought out far more emotion than I've ever had. It it dewired me a lot. What's happening with me? And it's it's it's changed me in a way that I didn't want to change. And now that I'm changed, I'm not the guy who's going to say, oh, my God, I'm so happy I changed. I like the old me way better than the new me. I don't like the fact that I just can walk around and all of a sudden start crying or that I am in the middle of trying to fight a fight that can't be won. I don't, who wants to do that? So I like when people say, oh, I've changed. I've seen the light. I've found God or whatever it is they say. I'm a better person now. I'm better in a lot of ways since I left baseball, but I didn't need a crisis in order to do it. It was just the evolution of me. So I'm the one who would tell you that certain crises are not, the juice is not worth the squeeze, as I like to say. And any improvements that may be in my emotionality, I would give up. I'd give up 10 a thousandfold if I could. David, James Van Der Beek battled with sickness for a while, passed away yesterday, most known for being Dawson from Dawson's Creek. It was a pop culture icon at the time film wasn't this huge film star but varsity blues is a cult classic i'm wondering if you have any thoughts on the passing of james vanderbeek i do mike it's horrible and uh what what what's surprising to me his gofundme page that his family has he has six children and uh left a wife young children and young people are just getting cancer way more and that's not that that's actual evidence. That's not just in my head. And the problem is that everyone thinks that everyone else is rich and it's just not the case. People would assume, oh, you're a movie star. You must be rich. It's like assuming people in music or people on TV who do podcasts, like it's assuming that they're rich and that's not the reality. And Vanderbeek, they just ran out of money because of how expensive it is to treat cancer. And he had a colorectal cancer where it's not going to work. But how do you not try when you have six kids or when you're 48 years old? You have to try. And now the family is left cleaning up financial ruin and dealing with the loss of a husband and a father. There's nothing positive about when young people get cancer. There's nothing to learn from it. It's not, there's, there's not one thing. Oh, it's great for research. We can study the tumor and figure out. No, that's not right. And it opens people's eyes to getting, you know, prostate tests when they're 40 or getting mammograms when they're 30 or getting whatever. No, I don't need someone to die to have that lesson. So I, I was, I was not a austin's creek person mike but i'm finding myself obviously way more impacted by young people and their their their plight and their disease and i can't stand it actually uh you said you don't need someone to die to learn that lesson but uh being around any of that stuff has opened up a portal to emotion for you like you're saying that you were locked up repressed uh in the previous incarnation right that it's not that you weren't feeling feeling pain although perhaps the pain wasn't like this is that the pain didn't unlock you being able to express it right but i don't want to be unlocked it's not what i don't even understand your question what i would trade my daughter being sick because i get to be unlocked like all of a sudden this is no this is a net positive because of some emotional growth i'm having no you're you're the one no you're the one who presented the idea of crisis bringing out we love to say that one david we love to say that adversity brings out the character in people. We love to say that that crisis very often when you get two or three or four years away from it, people don't have regret about the crisis. Not in this case, obviously, I wouldn't use that as the example, but are grateful for the crisis because it changed them into somebody who had a different life perspective. Yeah. So I find that those crises tend to be when you lose a limb or when you have an accident that you recover from. I have not yet met and I spend a lot of my day when I'm not speaking to Mike Ryan off the air. I spend a lot of my time trying to meet people to figure out if it's possible to grow or recover or just function on a daily basis. And I'm getting very mixed results, I must say. And I have no idea what my world will look like in six months and tomorrow or a year or 10 years. But I just it's not a journey that I'm interested in. I don't want to see what life is going to be like in certain instances. But again, when you have no choice, you have no choice. So you do what's instinctual. But then you spend your entire life wondering, are you doing it right? What regrets you will have? I never used to live that way. I was much happier when I had not one regret, never thought of having a regret. I just pushed forward like a bull in a china shop. And now I'm questioning every time I decide to go for a run. I'm the distinction that I guess I'm making somewhere inside of the worst loss I felt the death of my brother. I wouldn't I'd trade anything to have him back. But it doesn't mean that I don't have an altered life perspective that I could not have had if he had not died. I would have never had. I wouldn't want that. I would have never. No, but in ways that are also positive, though, it's not just suffering and pain. It is also suffering and pain, but on the other side of suffering, not for you in the instance that you're presently in and not for me if you had asked me two years ago or two and a half years ago. But I am altered by what happened there in a way that's forever changed. And while the pain is still inside me, so too is the love that is still alive because that pain is there to remind me. And I have more appreciation for life than I did before. I have more appreciation for the people I love than I did before. yeah, I don't want to be where you are. I'm not interested, actually, in that sort of epiphany that you've had, the emotional epiphany and growth that comes along with that level of pain. It actually doesn't interest me. There are very few places, I would say, that growth usually happens for people that doesn't have great pain involved. And I'm not trying to argue a different perspective for you. I'm just saying that if you had asked me this two and a half years ago, I would have spoken exactly the way that you're speaking now without being able to see anything off in the distance that looked like anything that resembled hope or anything better. We are one renewal away from asking me whatever question you want. Dan Levatard. Tatas. Stugatz. Tatas. This is the Dan Levatard Show with the Stugatz. Off to softer things here and the silliness of sports. Because baseball is reporting and you've got Boris hovering around the owners and there's always business around the owners and there's so many problems with the media deals and everything else. Which sport do you believe is most likely to lock out soonest because of its ailments around it? Is it the WNBA or is it something else? Well, are you willing to say that a lockout and a strike are equivalent? Just work stoppage of whatever kind, where we lose the games. WNBA will have a work stoppage before Major League Baseball. WNBA does not have a collective bargaining agreement. We could talk for the next, the entire rest of the show about what's going on with the WNBA and the absolute mistake that the Players Union, the Women's Players Association has made in this negotiation. They are calling the wrong bluffs. They are not at the right time in the life of their union or of their league to take the positions they're taking. And I can get criticized all day long by women in sports and in media. And this is not about men or women. I would say that about any immature union. And I don't mean like a three-year-old. I'm talking about young. The WNBA is a young league. And what they are asking for is to be treated as though they are a mature league And they just not that They going for too much too soon There going to be a work stoppage And they saying they strike because they given permission to their they voted that it's okay to strike. But the WNBA may, the owners may instead lock out. We'll wait to see. Baseball is going to have a lockout in December after this coming season. So I'd like to ask the follow-up question, which do I think will last longer? MLB's work stoppage or the WNBA's work stoppage? And that is an interesting question because the WNBA, if a season were missed, like a full season that's supposed to start here in a couple months, what would happen? You'd have players maybe more unrivaled, more Project B, more going overseas, and they would make more money. They would live their lives. In baseball, when there's a work stoppage, there's not enough leagues around the world for these players to play and make any thing close to what they would make in baseball, which is why we always felt we could break the union. And it's why we've won every negotiation in our mind is because we knew that they're getting older each year with no alternative, the players and owners are going to be there long after. That's the true power dynamic. That's why I think MLB's work stoppage will not be as significant as what the WNBAs could be. I have told David and others that if you live your life, as long as Colin Cowherd and Jim Rome have lived their life talking to themselves for several hours a day, you become a specific kind of crazy that you guys just saw a glimpse of where David Sampson asked a question and then said to himself, that's an interesting question. Sorry. David, no. No, we all got a chuckle. No, we understand how it is that happens. It's because you're talking to yourself. Your producer can't say incentivize. It's up for a ducky. Even though he's up for a ducky, yeah. And so you just stimulated yourself by asking a question and said to yourself, now that's an interesting question, David. I really try to avoid that because this is the hour of the week that I love when I can interact with so many of you. And you just got me going on a topic that is an interesting topic to me. It's vocal masturbation. It is. He is normally in solitary confinement for 23 hours and then he gets to play in the yard for a little bit and he's like, that's an interesting question, David. I'm glad we get to spend this time together. What are you reviewing for us this week? Can we talk about love quickly? We will tomorrow with Greg Cody. Oh, so are you going to review the movie Eternity with Greg? No. 305-486-GOTS if you have any love questions for Greg Cody. He's going to join us from a memory loss unit for alcohol-impaired dementia. 305-486-4689. People won't remember the number. By the way, he hates that idea. Yeah, that's fine. 305-486-4689. He will join us from a memory loss unit for alcohol-related dementia and give you love advice if you have any love questions. Let's talk about love. Will drinks be served? He'll love that idea. He's going to have Miller Lite like a scotch. Yeah. They won't remember. There's a movie called Eternity. It stars Miles Teller and Elizabeth Olsen. It's not up for any Academy Awards. And people are mistakenly saying it's like Defending Your Life, the movie with Albert Brooks and Meryl Streep. But it's not like that at all. It's about what happens when you have a love of your life when you're young and Something breaks that love up. It could be death. It could be war It could be just life happening and then you marry someone else your second love and you're with them for 40 years And now you go to the afterlife. Who do you want to be with your first love where it was magic? We're talking countertops and everything Or do you want to go with stable love where you built a family and you, you know, watched TV from two different chairs with trays of TV dinners? Who do you choose to live your eternity with? And I was fascinated with the question. And Miles Teller and Elizabeth Olsen are the longtime loves. Callum Teller is the first love of Elizabeth Olsen, the major love who then went to war and died. And they all meet up again in the afterlife and choices have to be made. And it got me thinking, what would I choose? And so I'm not going to ask myself. What an interesting question, David. Let's watch you vocally masturbate. Let's put it on the poll at Levitard Show. Better love, first love or last love? I'd have to assume that people love the butterflies of first love, but last love, you've learned all the things you have to learn about what you want for yourself in life, right? That's the movie. That's why, I don't know, Dan, you sound like you have not seen it. But it'd be interesting for someone like you because you would always say last love because of the current love you're in, expecting that to be your last love. But you have to not give short shrift to first love and what that felt like. Dan, which love are you picking? Your current love or a previous one? I don't like the way that was phrased. I would always assume that most people will choose their last love. but I might have that wrong because if someone dies, if you're widowed, if there's somebody that you felt like you're going to miss forever, but I choose what I've learned since then. Man, Mike really lobbed it up for us. I feel like we're going to be hearing about this one. It's not helpful producing. It's not what the job is. It's Valentine's weekend. He tried to give you an easy dub. We decided for whatever reason to bypass it, we are probably stepping in it right now. Again, though, I want the inner monologue to be my voice talking to me, not you secretly talking to me. It was Val. As you. Just say Val and move on. It's obviously Val, but my life experience doesn't have that kind of loss that he's talking about. Well, it was obvious until you ignored the question. You're always trying to learn. I assume that many people that I'm actually interested in how people vote on this poll, because I do think that a whole lot of people romanticize first love because they're now in a love that's less happy. Like that very often they lost that love because they were rejected by somebody they didn't want to be rejected by. They lost somebody to death. And so I do believe that there are many people out there who have a great deal of longing for a lost love and are in a relationship that now pales by comparison. Say that we didn't know love until we found our current love. That's ridiculous. That is ridiculous. Inner monologue, man. It was an alley-oop and we shat all over the backboard. The problem with first love that's cut short is if you have to do eternity, I would argue that I can't do eternity with any love. And so choosing a first love or last love, if you have to do it forever, I assume even first love then becomes forever boring last love. So I think it's sort of a Sophie's choice of love. They didn't cover that in the movie, though. Man, I thought our answer was bad. Juju, put it on the poll, please. When you get to eternity, do you just want to be left alone? He literally picked himself. We're not just vocally masturbating anymore. David wants to get to eternity and be like, well, that's an interesting question. David, I'm glad you asked me. I'll pick a 3 a.m. movie by myself in the dark on my couch. Thank you. I've got some interesting thoughts on that. You're such great company, David. I like the honesty. I love that you know me. Nothing personal is the name of the podcast. Thank you, David. We appreciate the time. Thank you. I was sad. I was surprised by what it is that saddened me the other day when I saw it happen. because, and I've been having this argument with Wilbon since I met him, okay? I've been having, I cannot tell you any words that I have said to Wilbon in my life more than these words. What's your problem with mascots? Like, I thought everybody loved mascots, and now they canceled that rooster race that was, I'm going to say uniquely Miami, because I don't think anybody else was doing rooster races at the ballpark and um the the rooster you saw two or three times ago tony went out to a local bar here near calle otro in the middle of the day and poor rose was chasing around roosters who have been feeding this you know there and and been having bread con mantequilla there was like 20 of them yeah it was all family she was the aggressor she was the aggressor but She was just trying to get them away from her, and they're like, no, this is our home. We're not going to leave here. Why did they cancel the rooster race? What happened? It was bad. Yeah, but I like that about it. It was pretty corny. Wasn't that an upgrade over the sea creatures? Well, yeah, but they had gotten rid of that for a while, and then now they're getting rid of the rooster race, and they're really trying to feature Billy the Marlin more. Like in the same way that they're going back to the teal for the throwbacks, they're featuring Billy the Marlin. Now, you've lost weight, huh? Yep. Feels good. Cock of the walk, baby.