#652 - Matt McCusker

It's spring time around here. You know that Because you can see the bees the bees are out there go see them. They're just be just being bees And we're running a spring sale. That's what we're doing in honor of spring. We're being on sale We've got a mix of teas hoodies and hats All 20% off right now and there's a limited quantity left on the year of the rat hoodies It's one right here. I wear it. I love it my favorite type of hoodie That's the only time only type we're selling anymore is my favorite type All that and more available at Theo von store.com I hope everyone is having a good day and thank you for your support Today's guest is a stand-up comedian He's one half of the Matt and Shane's secret podcast He's the shaman he is he's on a higher frequency he operates in a Special realm and he's on the road soon. So if you get a chance, I recommend that you go see him I it's just if you even get to spend time with this guy. It's a smart choice I'm thankful to be able to do that today. My guest is mr. Matt McCusker Oh It was crap out of my pockets. Oh dude, that's one thing Well, how much shit do guys stuff and I'm a guy. Yeah, and it's like the shit we start to have in our pockets Look at that you've glass around the neck. I the phone phone wallet keys. I need a upper. I need a downer You got PC powders your fucking we need pocketbooks, dude Some guys have already adopted pocketbook technology. We need we need all this guy's the purse whatever Oh that they yeah, yep, yep, that fainty packed the people were around there hard or whatever. Yeah They're satchel that's a weird one though like the fainty pack on the heart that guy's always yeah What's going on here? I think you I think you have to like if you're gonna have one you have to have a gun in there Just so you can maintain, you know what I mean, but one of those little guns or whatever Yeah, I think a tiny like James Bond like a little 38 Nice saying good to see you. Oh, bro. Pleasure to see you man. Yeah, congrats on everything, bro. Thank you, man Yeah, you guys just podcast this question it and you're on tour right now, too. Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yeah, I gotta where am I going? I'm going to I know I know I have Phoenix Phoenix is haunting me or I don't know what what's up with the city of Phoenix I got to do a celebrity theater. So it's like the little one in the round. Yeah, I hope that's full Otherwise we're gonna have like a semi circle. It's gonna be that'll be pretty bad I couldn't do the ramp. I can only do like 270 degrees Just a you So yeah, I get there's Phoenix and go for support that one guys in Phoenix. Yeah, man, and then everywhere else But yeah, man, I've been good man. It's John. Yeah, pull up Matt's day. Just so we have him, please. Yes. Thank you Um, oh, there we go. Same Paul. There we go. Same Paul Yeah, where are you adding this thing? I'm towards the end. I'm at the I'm at the bottom half or the bottom like quarter here Okay, St. Paul Indianapolis. Yep. I got Des Moines. Yeah. Yeah, St. Paul Des Moines Phoenix Tucson Toronto and Chicago Oh, yeah, you got Des Moines. You got Des Moines. Obviously a black guy Des But you don't but there's not a lot of America you expect to see him when you get there Des Moines I think he invented jelly. Yeah, one guy did peanut butter. Yeah, jelly. Yeah Des Moines, please Tucson bro, Tucson's huge great place to get some Coral what's that blue core that Rock it's a lot of older women wear the silver and the What coral is it good for like a magnetic bracelet you're talking about? Lot of people a lot of copper and Opal or whatever. Okay. What's the blue stone? Yeah, it's a lot of that shit out there a lot of people missing arms Okay, it's like the mystical end of Arizona. There's like the yes guys with their pants up to here Marizani is and there's like, yeah, I got you it's some in country. Do you think those would be your vibes over there? Yeah, I've never been a Tucson yet. Phoenix. I'm telling you I'd like Phoenix. It's just I don't know why it's always it's always There's always cities I have that tickets go great. There's other cities where they're like a slog. Yeah, Phoenix tradition Just like historically has been a slog. Hmm. It's okay. I just accept it. It is what it is. It's just Phoenix That's my Phoenix experience. Yeah, so Dang dude. Yeah, I think for something like that for me or like Minneapolis Puerto Rico So tickets in Puerto Rico, I noticed really yeah Hmm. I'm like PR that kind of surprises me. Honestly, I feel like you would rock the PR ticket market. Yeah Yeah, that's kind of me The bullet us Yeah, dude, great to see you bro, what's what's new right now in your world man dude I the only thing I can even it's boring, but it's just gardening. I've been gardening non-stop I got ahead of it this year last year. I planned it when it was already too hot everything got scorched so Yeah, I got some blackberries and raspberries. I'm waiting on so really yeah, I've been a big I've been I've been big on that man trying to grow stuff. I got garlic coming so So blackberries and garlic and this is all in your own y'all. That's my garden. Yeah, that's it's been revamped The hail storm destroyed my blueberry bushes. Yeah, it's in my life like a little backyard But you're making the most out of it now. Can you feed your family here? No, dude It's so sad. So that's a blueberry bush. It got destroyed in the hail storm that one's coming back to life as well And is there any reward from the like it doesn't government subsidize this kind of shit or whatever? I should get them. I should get some sort of subsidy, but there we had a blueberry bush and we had it produced one Literally one blueberry the first time I did it and me and my whole family cut it into fours. I mean each had a fourth of We would be dead if I actually had a farm we would all be dead I've gotten like five radishes one blueberry and Brassberries were flowing man, and then just the hail storm Wiped he's completely wiped me out So and was there stuff you could have done in advance to prepare for that? Cuz I mean do the does it feel like the plants look to you for like the leadership or you don't feel that at all I never had a garden yet. Yeah, so here's the thing you can be like that. There's a lot of doting mother type gardeners I'm a stern father if you can't pull your own you die. I need I need producers I need people who are gonna adapt to the elements like I'm not gonna baby any of these plants like Stalin Yeah, completely. It's got it's a completely totalitarian system my wife's like well bring that one in I'm like if I can't handle the sun It's dead. Yeah, I'll get someone who can't handle the sun. I'm not out here, baby in these plants, bro I got kids. I'm not worried about a plant. Yeah, I gotta see her cry about a beanstalk. It's dead pull it out Yeah, throw in the compost next so I run a ruthless guard. It's completely ruthless. I had a rat that just died Did you fuck him? I did he was that's the thing with gardening It does kind of connects you to like a real life or death thing cuz it's like I don't you know I don't want to kill I don't want to kill an animal But then it starts eating like you know starts just munching all your leafy greens and you're like not about to grow food for a rat That's bullshit. So then like I had a guy come out and the guy gave it was like an exterminator and This stuff he gave it if he's like dude, this stuff's the real deal don't let your dogs get it Cuz my dog had eaten rat poison once no problem survived and I was like, yeah, I hope you're alright He's like no this shit is like fiberglass in it So when the rat eats the poison the fiberglass cuts his lungs and he starts like drowning in his own blood who created this I think so That's the same stuff they were putting in the Palestinians food that they were giving him Which is fucking heartbreaking, but That's a fair point, but the And why are they trying to kill him so hard like I do I well they just like that's their job man They're like because if they if they half step it you still have rats You're gonna calm all pissed off. So like the poison Messes them up, but the the like like fiberglass or whatever really make sure they died no matter what and also rats Won't die around the colony. They'll like a dog They'll run off and find solitude and die and we got rid of this chair recently So we you know it was like hogging up the space in our backyard and we lifted it up There was a dead rat one of the dead rats back there had been laying there so long I picked it up dude. It's face was gone He'd like really like kind of fucked me up like it was yesterday I picked it up. I had like you know two sticks put together and I was like this thing's been sitting for all Let me peep its face to just avoid where its face was just like things ate its face Yeah, she has a hole for where it's face was and I was like damn those fucked me up fuck you're living in a damn Saw episode over there. You're gardening crazy Where are you gardening at? Transylvania dude I Gardening is crazy though because you get like you have little spider allies I see my spider my orb weavers in my garden. I kind of they're like they're on my team fighting the bugs the rats I'm trying to fight the rats, but we got them. I think on her under control How did you know that you were having issues with? With the rats I'd see them fight right in my face just munching my like open the door and I'd just be munching my shit Oh, yeah, we ball see I'd be like what the fuck they are kind of cute though. They're called cotton rats So they're these big guys and they have these like so they have these really furry coats I kind of like them, but then they started shitting in my grill and I was like we're done Yeah, they honestly I would have tolerated them, but they completely Overpush overstep their boundaries. There we go. That dude there is that's exact guy Imagine one of those guys no face hole for a face Zoom in on him. Look at that little guy little fat little hairy guy look like gerbil's almost. Yes that little flaw bear Yeah, he's man. He's munching on somebody's fucking herbs right now when a god's little McNuggets them Shut up. Yeah, huh? They're thick as hell They had a burrow underneath my little porch in the back of my garden and also people were like Oh, just dump cayenne peppers all this dude. I dumped like I got like four pounds of red pepper flakes Just a little laced the whole garden dude that guy was just like sitting in a bed of it I'm like man get out of here this bullshit. Give me the fiberglass poison There's always all those tricks dude like if you if you'll siphon some piss out of a senior citizen or something Yeah, out there. Yeah, rub a baby's ass on the fucking I was rails or whatever. Nobody will fall down Nobody'll get hurting doesn't work. It doesn't work the exterminators come not even the Home Depot And I don't want to you know mess up Home Depot. No, but let's talk about them They're done that shit that none of that stuff works You need a professional exterminator and they have like like doctor evil weapons That's the only thing that gets them well Did you get one of those guys who comes and he's tatted and he's like has all his like a a year's recovery fucking Medallions around his neck and he's like really that's what you want. Yeah, but this this guy's pretty chill He's pretty clean, but he you could tell he's been around he's been around the stuff for a while the other guy I know got bit by a rattlesnake Literally got bit he drove himself to the hospital Fuck yeah, that's boss shit, bro. It's crazy. I got nothing but love for exterminators Do you ever have like a horrible infestation of any kind? Just these hoes Strong hand for that, but no I never had anything like that, you know, actually, you know what? Break up some of these exterminators first. I want to see some of these. Let's act good call. Let's get a gander at some of these America's top 10 most extreme exterminators including women A lot of these bitches will kill anything they go around There we go. Look at that guy look at extreme. Yeah, look at that fucking guy right there sandblasting Yeah, they're giving this is I need to see the real guys. This is the fucking it's like this stock footage Yeah, it's all team move shit, man. Yeah, no, that's none of the exterminators look like these guys These are male models. Yeah, I mean, there's Billy the exterminator there's that guy and he passed away. Did he really? Yeah, it dude short shelf life on those guys. I mean, you're you're literally dealing in poison You're out there to fucking spraying glyphosate on everything. You're fucking those those bug bombs. They what they do is they inhibit Reproductive systems so like well like I had fleas and I had to do a bug bomb the Home Depot was bullshit so I got the real guy came out and When I did the first one I lit it all like you know you pull the thing and it's supposed to give you 10 seconds It just exploded in my face. I just got drenched in this shit Cuz they'll put those things in the gathered Dude they they just that you can't reproduce So it just scorches bug genitals and then they just just have to watch like the apocalypse There's there's like colony of them is this Palantir online where you Your children what's sleeping inside? Why came in from like talk talking to the exterminator and I'm like, bro this rap boys is crazy I didn't fret my two daughters were there and I'm like, yeah, there's little mice and they like watch it play And I was like all the mouse is back. I'm like what it does is it cuts their lungs and they drown in their own blood My wife's like chill dude. I'm like I'm at my bed Um, are you part of a group with the gardening or how I'm one wolf. I have thought about joining a group, but I I'm like Different whenever do something like that. It's just it's too much human interaction for me I just I like to like figured out by myself. Maybe maybe one mentor would be good a whole group There's bound to be someone I don't like yeah, I'm gonna be battling I'm like, no, thank you some guy trying to get you to buy his soil or some other thing something like that Or just just a just a run of the mill know it all. Yeah, any any adult any group of just adults together There's gonna be at least one if not two like unbearable guys usually like you're like adult education There's always one person who's gonna raise your hand talk for ten minutes every time It's just like bro shut up man. Oh, you're gonna like that DUI course Some guys like You know Like he's never gonna drink and drive again First of all, what a God's rules is nobody gets just one DWI. I know I know it's Everyone everyone needs to get one my my friend. It was funny. It was a couple years ago But he had one I think he was the last one to get one But his brother had one and his dad had one and they're all at like family Christmas party with extended family and he like They're all drinking beer and you like cheers. I'm like, hey, we all have DUI's guys And I think his dad was trying to keep his under You know DUI's cheers and you know thought he would go over better, but dude There's nothing sadder than a dad get the DUI on his way home from working He's been drinking or whatever they get a man. I know a lot of guys who just quietly you get on me You're like, all right. All right, you got me. You got me They drive dry. Yeah, that's oh my stepdad got one my dad would be drunk He would park his car just like wherever it kind of stopped like by our gate or whatever My mom would fucking be out there yelling at this 77 year old man Unconscious in a white fucking LTD that he was not even at a certain point dude He wasn't strong enough to get the door back open once he got in So sometimes he'd get in there and he'd get home from working. We didn't know we'd be inside Leave him out there all night Yeah, he's a dude. Well, dude, that's the thing they were allowed to drink and drive like drinking and driving was like Like my dad is almost 70 and like when they were in high school cops will pull you be hammer driving a car And they'd be like come on man get the hell it take your beer like get out of here Yeah, you didn't get in trouble for it. So all of a sudden now it's criminalized Fucking woke bullshit. It's good points. No, it's pretty bad. It's very dangerous. There we go Who's this guy? He has a stern. That's a stermanator And if he has a church behind if he means it, who is he? That's AI Well, I think if you just go to YouTube say you put in like Tucson extreme exterminator If you go to some of those places and just look for some try to make it by city or whatever you have to do to see if You can come up with some yeah, it's it's more organic. Yeah, it'd be nice if by the end We had some damn exterminators are really they keep we keep themselves hidden Why I think first of all, I wonder if that's a dying game I don't think so man It's like is it running the family because a lot of times you'd be like, you know, my dad was a fireman I'm a fireman and then the third kid is like, I'm not if I'm just fatter whatever. Yeah, yeah, no That's but there's always that lineage, you know, like I love hot dogs. My dad loved hot dog My son loves hot dogs and then you have like breaks gay. So yeah, like who really likes hot dogs Yeah, the Dude, I think it's just like it one of those it's just one of those gigs I think it's just like a get out of jail gig and you know, you do it, especially if you like do it for yourself That's a lot of them. It's just like it's a business you can get into it's like cleaning You can run a you can start a cleaning company pretty easily. It's very low overhead. A lot of strippers do it. Yeah That's actually a great. Yeah, it's a great move. It's it's their gay It's like a reentry program into I've hung out with a lot of strippers and me even made out in their cars sometimes That's all and you'll have like a mop handle coming across your shoulder and shit, you know, that's where you know They're on the Ascension. Oh, yeah, you see that you know, this is actually a good sign this this this lady's got her act together Hop in there's a nine-month-old in the car seat. You're like bad sign this lady needs mop Pack of us with a replacement Covers I tried my hand at stripper dating wasn't a you know, I'm not nothing against them I just wasn't cut out for it was it was a little too rough and tumble for me You have to be a boss You have to also work late hours to be a stripper's boyfriend. You are working. They work in late hours You have to be up when they get home. Dude my sister had a friend that was a stripper, right? Yes, and She would come over to our house and shit and her my sister always fighting and stuff and and then she stole our vacuum one time Right trying to break into the industry. Well, that's so that was her name. Well, it's a which isn't even a name Like what name is it? Well, it's a that's kind of a crazy day. It's crazy, dude And so she saw our vacuum dude two years later. I met like one of these real fancy Parties where they have a woman pop out of the cake or whatever like, you know The thing you kind of see me like they actually had a girl pop out of the cake They had two cakes and two girls pop out of them and like it was a big birthday for this guy and uh And they were strippers, right? And one of them was the woman. Whoa. It was verissa Who had stolen our vacuum dude? And so guys are tipping her and shit. No, just fucking like waiting. I'm just in the back Just like Vacuum sounds and shit and fucking locking on her. That's fucked up to take someone's vacuum, too That's a that could really throw a household under quick and me and my sister on our last limb as neighbors, dude And we lived under this family that was like very heavy-boned Yeah Stomping yes, and they were beating each other like I think there was domestic abuse yikes And I would call the police all the time on them. I've called the police. I'll always call the police a lot since I was since I was a child, but yeah I would call the police all the time and I'd be like he has a gun. That's what I'd say every time That's good. They get right there. They're right there. Yeah, if you're like hey, he's beating this woman He one of his kids he fucking tied his kid to a tree outside or whatever. Yeah He just put a bunch of crow food on his kids' shoulders and tied him to a tree outside Never they don't get out. They're not gonna shoot gun is that's the code That's the fast pass because they want the action dude. They do they love it And well they get like cred if a cop takes a gun off the street. That's something they get like Accolades for bringing a guy's like just socked his wife in the stomach No, but your shot your sergeant doesn't like pat you on the back if you get a gun That's like a that's like a cop like Pac-Man pellet that like takes you further in a journey Yeah, that's a bit. It's like literally a metric for cops how many guns you get and all that stuff Were you almost on the force ever? No, my wife was on the cop. So I got to like observe Secondhand, I dude I thought so hard about becoming a cop, but I could I wasn't able to do it That's right. Your wife was a cop, huh? Yeah, so I couldn't become a cop You guys mad dude we met before yeah, we were before that but yeah, she was a cop when you met her No, she wasn't a cop. She just surprised me one day. I think I'm gonna become a police officer and I was like She was a cop now. No. No. No. She did it for like five years. Was she ever a cop? She was for five years in Philadelphia Okay, and that's being a cop dude. Yeah, dude. She was she was on like a little flip She was on foot patrol and everything and she was in like not the best area for sure in Philly Like north. No, she was in south like grazed fairies. So it's like it's it's pretty it's pretty rough a lot of areas there Yeah, it was like gang. There were some gangs there for sure It was like an old irish neighborhood of like pretty I would say pretty hardcore white trash and then it was like Black gangs, you know, it's a brutal. It's not a good mix But the uh So yeah, and then do you gotta cops gotta watch like videos too of like all the bad stuff that happened you get an email of like Like a 14 year old got shot up in a deli last night. It's just lively. It's like the video It's like, I don't why do they make them watch that stuff? Dude, wolf twitter makes us all watch all that. Yeah, true I'm not a cop. That's what I'm gonna start fucking replying to this on these twitter feeds And this is the authority. I wake up in the middle of the night for somebody to turn my phone next to you I've seen seven people getting massacred outside of some like Outside of like a car dealership and uh outside of teak wine or something. What yeah, what portal of hell Did I just take myself dude x is crazy now? I remember like I remember when his twitter it was like there's too much censorship and I'm like, yeah, dude Like let me see the real shit now. I'm kind of like let's go. Let's Sensor this heavily again my my I can't even go on x anymore It's my I get all like race baiting Kind of like race war propaganda where it's like, can you believe though? It's just non-stop Huh, you know, you know, you watch it you get the race war propaganda. Yeah, dude I get like lots of like, uh, I get a lot of like white supremacy stuff Yeah, I swear to god. I don't even like I don't like or sharing you back They know you have a black white. They want me man. They want me man. They're trying to break me out of that But it's just like yes, it's it's rough I'll be like watching trying to scroll next to my wife and it'll be like a guy screams the n word I'm like, oh, what was that? I'm like, oh some fucking video. I'm going back to instagram. It's just a guy screaming n word again. I'm like, oh shit My x feeds just completely bonkers dude elon should do better than that He should want better than that for society. I feel like yeah, you know, I think there's a lot of smud It's just trash. That's yeah, it feels like trash honestly. Yeah, I think there was a spot where it felt like I mean, I guess there's still some good video and stuff on there You'll see like I'll see like some good political stuff on there um But I do feel like Outside of that it's losing. I feel like it's kind of starting to lose its vibe I think so it's then you read the news. It's like this now valued at 90 trillion dollars and like how how the flies is Worth so much money now. I don't know. Maybe maybe you know if you do flood it with porn and like violence It does make a bazillion dollars. So Good business wise you might be crushing it, but I it's I had a I've stepped off of x. Yeah, I can't I just can't watch it. It's too much. It's too much Yeah, I'm trying to go to bed trying to drown myself to sleep. I'm trying to have a decent life Fucking killing animals in my backyard. Yeah Only what necessary Yeah, it what is funny too. Like yeah, you're like trying to like, you know, I want to live in a safe neighborhood I then you're just watching just people being shot in the face and you're like, why am I doing this? Am I in a safe house? This is crazy Dude, it's we're at a point for sure one of the biggest things I'm noticing or for myself that I noticed We're at a point with fuck my talking about That's insane. We might be at a point. Let's see We're like I have to control what comes into me, man Yeah, and if I don't then that's my fucking fault Yeah, it's true You know Now the algorithm the people that make the algorithms should be able to be held liable if like someone goes and does a crime Based on like them feeding them like the same type of bullshit like somebody goes and shoots out of place because they got indoctrinated into some really strong and Like sadistic beliefs or something because the algorithm fed them that I think that those people should be held liable Yeah, man, or it's tough in case my case is tough because it's like well, how do you like in court? Obviously like the moral thing. Yeah, but like a lawyer they'll like facebook's lawyers We'll just shred that be like, oh, he's watching that and this and that they'll get out of that But I agree. It's like I think didn't they just rule against facebook now being like yeah What was that thing came against them being like, yo you guys Kind of like they did with cigarettes where they're like, yeah, dude. This shit's bad. You knew it was bad You gave it to people now you got a fork Here you go right here a jury has ordered meta and google to pay three million dollars to a 20 year old woman Who alleged that she became addicted to instagram and youtube as a child? Fucking damn shit. All right. Everyone else get on that train Jurors found the company's liable for product design features that harmed her mental health The plaintiff kailey gm testified that the apps replaced her hobbies and attributed to anxiety depression and body dysmorphia. Yeah Bro that they have about two billion lawsuits coming about the same like that's it says it right here The case is the first of thousands targeting big tech over addiction To reach trial of bellwether to assess how other claims could be resolved Well, this is apparently from what I heard like long ago is a lot of these social media companies Had people who designed slot machines consult with them to like how to make their Basically interface as addictive as possible. You know when you like pull down a refresh and like your phone kind of like Shakes a little bit. There's that little noise. That's like slot machine technology somehow Like it's designed to like you get a little dopamine burst when it goes like And you know, yeah new stuff and it's like apparently it's set up like that where it's like It's purposely designed to be maximally addictive and they did that on purpose Shit. Yeah, that's and it's like that's a thing. It's like cigarettes are like, oh, this is bad for you You know now they're gonna have to pay out They already have billions and billions of dollars or have to just fork some of the billions. Yeah Yeah, it's worth it to them. Yeah to continue to do it But do remember the old school dopamine burst you see a bald eagle fly by That's that was the dopamine burst. Yeah, I remember those days or even if it wasn't and somebody just said it was True. Yeah, you're a kid. You're just staring up into the sky. It's fucking pointing Dude, I do remember being younger before the internet and just like like it's like summer And I would just be like sitting outside and it's like I would just be able to kind of like stare off for a while And just like this is nice and I it's like I can't even like take a shit now if I don't have my phone I'm like I need to need to be scrolling. Yeah, when was the last time that we've daydreamed, you know I know it's tough. You really do. I have to like on a plane I can try to like force myself but then in the whole time. I'm like, I can't believe I'm not on my phone I'm so cool right now. I don't even daydream. I just like pat myself on the back for not looking at my phone Yeah, and then I go, you know what? I'm gonna look at my phone. Everyone's looking at their phone Dude, or if you go to a rest it used to be this is a crazy thing to think that someone could be in a restaurant by themselves Like 40 years ago, you could do that. You could be in a restaurant by yourself Sitting at a table and you wouldn't look insane That's true Now without a phone like for now if you see someone in a restaurant by themselves just sitting there Waiting for some people who are probably doing coke to bring them their food There's fucking no Dude, I do this when I go out when I like I'm in a different city I'll go out to dinner by myself And I'll pride myself and I'll sit there and just like waiting for some congratulations. It never comes I just stare straight like you literally don't know what to do with yourself because it is that problem You're like I can't stare straight ahead. I'll try to look like kind of almost like I'm dreamily like yeah Oh, and it's just nothing there or I'll rearrange a subword again do that shit Play the shell game with like Uh fork knife napkin fork napkin go to the bathroom really slow Oh, look at that chic filet is offering free ice cream to families who agree to put their phones away during their meal Bro as part of an effort to encourage more face to face Time and less screen use of the table. What are the exact rules with that? Who's enforcing and do imagine if you cost your family the chick filet family meal just from one glance That's top. I would you were getting serious trouble you glance out of your phone just to see the bears didn't get it done again You fucking coughed just a retarded guy blows a whistle They should have a dude chuck filet is his name. It's just a black That's a black dude in there. He's a straight chicken cop in there That'd be a good job. He's been like boom got you Fork 38 dollars. Let's go Yeah, that's chuck filet strikes again Yeah, that's uh shit man. That's that's nice chick filet. It's you know, I like that. How do you too? I like that if they're not on their phone It let me see the promotion is only offered at select chick filet locations by individual operators not a company wide program In originating 2016 from a georgia operator and has been revived locally at various times. I like that though I do too Yeah, dude. It was just like Or just driving and thinking about shit. Yeah I know dude your mind had so much time like I think that's one reason we're more creative because Our mind was able to just fucking create it was able to like the ram wasn't always You know your computer sends you that thing. It's like your ram is almost done Even when you know what your ram is you're like fuck. I better empty the ram trap Clean this out. I need a deep fragment. I don't still know what that is Yeah, no, dude. It's that's really it's like, you know, because you have sleep your brain gets the rest But that like downtime your brain does do stuff like it like kind of organizes things When you just kind of chill out because that's I like when you so when you're on your phone You know when you read something on your phone You're like you don't remember any of it because as you're reading your when you're on your phone Every button and thing you're moving is like it's a problem solving part of your brain So like you're you're trying to like, you know, you want your memory to be active So you're like you're you know reading like information's coming You have so much coming at you like you're the part of your memory that can store information along to the short term It's like a tiny little bucket in your brain So it only fits so much when you're like hitting buttons and going up and down this and that it's just gets Just it's like splashing a ton of water in a tiny bucket. It's everything spills out I never remember anything. I researched stuff on my phone all the time and then I go like I'll be like Like how many carbs you need to be in keto? I'll read a whole article on it and like a day later I'll be like going to tell someone about it. I'm like, I don't know. You need like only a little I can never retain anything. Well, dude, if somebody wants to tell me something these days, I'm like, dude, I can look at Information and we all have it now Like somebody used to have the information like you had to go down the street You had to get molested by a guy Just to figure out how to like You know grow boogers veleas in your backyard. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, no, it's it's true Now I can just take a picture of a plant. It's like this is the plant you're growing I do it all the time and it'll be like, is this good? When can I harvest this blah blah blah? Yeah, it's actually I do kind of like that But you'll just take a picture and you'll do what put it in a like perplexity or something Yeah, yeah, like rock and be like, you know, how when can I pull this garlic? But it's it's not sure fire It'll give you like have you eaten pussy? It just so using fucking check this That's not the same thing As america celebrates its 250th birthday this year Let's remember the people who helped build it the american ranchers And one way to do that is I believe by supporting american ranchers And no one does that better than good ranchers That's where I get my meat and poultry I have a subscription at a time where most americans aren't sure where any of our products are coming from Good ranchers is doing things right They source their cuts from local farms and american ranches Full stop. I've met these guys and we've talked about how they're one of the only meat companies dedicated to keeping things sourced in the u.s They've got all the cuts of meat. 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I'm ready to introduce myself To the world Right now you get 10 off at ticovas.com slash Theo when you sign up for email and text That's 10 off at tecovas.com slash teo ticovas.com slash Theo see site for details Point your toes west I I personally am not worried about ai like people like it's going to end the world It's like I don't I don't worry. I don't think it is honestly and if it If thing is like if it does what are you really going to do? All these a lot of people are doing this like I'm just not using it because it's like I just feel like it's such a weird It's like it's a computer like it's not you can you can destroy a computer easily Keep saying wait, what do like self build itself so you can it's like dude, that's you're just it's just nerds freaking out It's not I don't think it's a real threat whatsoever You know I started a thing. It's definitely could be like the uh y2k thing remember that yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah everybody was like forcing their like Cousins to admit they were f*** or whatever because God wasn't gonna want them after midnight or any like all that shit, you know Or it was like don't say you're a f*** before midnight. Yeah Yeah, or god won't let you in or whatever there was like all that kind of like Those email chains first send this to 10 people that are f*** you get those type of email chain like what is this? Yeah, uh because they were trying to catch f*** whatever. I think bush senior was doing that but um, anyway, that was crazy, bro Everybody thought y2k was gonna end it and then people thought the dot-com boom people bought like remember a guy bought like shoes dot com And he for like and then he sold us like 270 million dollars and we were all buying different dot coms You know people were making up crazy dot com names. You know I try to I try to get a couple Yeah, I didn't get anything good. Honestly. I don't I don't remember I think I sold them off right away or just they're probably just dead. They expire too if you don't keep refreshing them They hadn't been anything good I watched the soft white underbelly. This has been cracking me up for like a month There was a guy who it was similar to that lawsuit. He was going on being like Like I had too much internet at a young age and like it had a bad effect on me And uh, he was like going out and compulsively doing like gay acts, but he was like i'm not gay I just got like You know it was the internet the thing that got him into it was gay.com Which just made me laugh so hard just as a young kid is hitting gay.com your whole life just so Everything changes from gay.com. Hey bud getting caught in fifth grade on gay.com. I would have been done, dude Old two older brothers catching gay.com. I was fried. Oh, that would have been crazy, huh? Are you going up to your room? Gay.com that's a billion dollar Hashtag or not hashtag hyperlink whatever people got gay.com. So that's still worth money I for sure gay.com just send it to your buddy dude Hilarious change you can change the hyperlink. You can do this away. You can do that. Oh man, dude, uh buff homos.com was one of my favorite ones Ari man is his comedian and he started a website called buff homos.com. Did he really? Yeah, see if it's still active or not I bet he pays Buff homos.com is great. What's he doing with it? He didn't want to Oh, just go to his website. Um, which I think he should change that All you have to do is if you put like one good buff gay guy Well, he was doing it in his fucking management Told him not to do it. I couldn't curate buff homos Yeah, they're like, you know, it's just kind of like That's something to be should have a fucking manager. Yeah, that's a billion dollar idea. Yeah, that's crazy If you if you're not a fucking pussy So his managers had to sit him down and be like about buff homos.com. Yeah But then but then they told him make that his landing page basically. Yeah a non buff homo on there And I love Ari Ari's open for me a bunch over the years. He's a great man. He's a great comedian and he's a great dude Clearly business genius too buff homos.com is so good Bro, and he would send me the pictures of buff homos and stuff and it was like and it was like he would get his friends That owed him favors. He would give him stage time if they modeled for it So that was the best part. So you had like guys like steve, uh, steve fury Just different comedians who were like kind of door guys at the store were also growing good comedians Like creg canette and he would have them just modeling fucking like just regular dudes But when you put them under the banner of buff homos It's crazy. You put a banner over something you see a picture of a regular dude with a shirt off You're like, okay, maybe that guy's trying to get the military or whatever and then they write buff homos above And you're like, oh this changes everything I mean, okay So this manager is probably worried about the fallout of being like is it true that you tricked young comics into stage time for modeling for buff homos.com Oh, first of all And I think some of new ones go in for sure. They're all buddies But uh, but it'd be a that's a good lose that's a good lose a bet kind of thing Like you lose the bet playing poker for like buff homos of the week I had a website called total creeper dot com for a while. Did you really? Yeah, this was a long time ago and I would just find total fucking creepers and just take pictures every now I put them on that bitch, didn't you? I did those early websites on the internet. There was mullet.com. That was great Yeah, mullet.com was good. Uh, there was camel toe dot org People just snap camel toe shots and no way that one was that yeah that one was a little That's a little bit of an evasion of privacy, obviously, but I remember as a young man being pumped on camp. Yeah What was a good one? Oh, there was like that Is there a way to look at total craze your way to find that in the like analogs of anything guys? Yeah web archive might have it No, no, this wasn't my shit. That's tumblr. That's a uk female. Yeah, that's tumblr. Do you remember tumblr? That shit was we tumblr was crazy, dude I never got into it personally, but I knew a girl who like was her big thing was curating a tumblr of just like lightly pornographic content It was just like a sex tumblr. It was crazy Oh, dude, there was like one like girls in panties getting out of cars or whatever Fuck dude Something about it, dude, but in panties not like thong not trashy fucking, you know No, dude, we're rare that we can still we're jpeg heads We're one of the last to have beaten it to a still image. Oh, you know what I mean? Like not a lot of people can say that Yeah, dude, right? I remember the fucking like coal I used to come home from church on Sundays and grab the newspaper Pop out the coals catalog Straight to the underwear section locked the door in the bathroom. God 45 minutes sesh Dude, I used to rub some of the like I would rub like a Thing this is fucking crazy. I should never say this Because I'll never have a wife at this but I would rub like a picture of like if they had a model like a Underwear model. I'd rub it under my arms because someone's would kind of smell like a little bit like that Jericho off too, you would stank it up. Yeah. Yeah, I was just gonna stank it up. Yeah Yeah, I don't think my mom Actually really good Idea to stank it up. Yeah. Yeah, I never even thought about that. Thanks, man I got ashamed of it the state. I think that's actually pretty cool Now the problem is you're crossing wires because you're gonna catch like you're gonna be out working out one day Catch some of your own phone can be like God damn Come under there Start fucking eating out your armpit. Oh, that's insane. Sorry. That's the line No worries out of buddy that did that that we catch them doing it at night Sleepovers really because he had like hair under his arm and he would kind of get his get it get his tongue around the corner of his Boss of his uh Pectoral. Ah, that's fucking weird and get him a little nibble just fucking get your little nibble Danny pretty impressive You nibbling your arm Ricky Okay, this was it. Yeah, are there any still on here total creepers sick But yeah, people were supporting people were sending this shit in this was good And the creepers in is awesome my great-aunt died and there are two zombie Jokers showed up to the burial and said they were friends of hers, but no one knew these two what you think But that's total creepers. That's a really good one It was good, dude Damn 2011 Lamp man this guy and I were at the same full service car while she was yelling into his phone about a mortgage What do you think? Yeah, I miss the imagination bro. Yeah, I miss like seeing a girl smile at you like on a Friday at school Or give you some sign of like Maybe she even just like asked you to go throw some trash away for That would have been awesome. I would have loved to do that totally And then you're thinking all week and you're like fuck. She's thinking about me. Yep I'm gonna start working out you start making like like I would we would like chisel like weights out of like wood and shit and try to like Get pumps. Yeah, we didn't know that it had to weigh a real amount. We were like, oh, it just has to look like weights And uh, just dumb shit, but then monday you'd be like, oh she fucking hates me again But there was just that couple day period where there was no phone to see that she was having a blaster that she was like Her family was rich or whatever or had a boat or whatever You just laid it home in your fucking poor bed. Yep thinking you just imagine her. Yeah, it was actually I I genuinely I know people say this all the time, but I I do feel bad for like younger kids Have you gotten into like the clavicular stuff? I see this and all that stuff So he did an interview with uh, andrew callahan recently I watched and I've watched a lot of his stuff but there's like this world of guys that are like It you know looks maxing is like you the only your only hope in life is to become as attractive as possible But now they're doing these things really the injecting a bunch of peptides. These are like young like, you know early 20s Going to rt. You're hitting the peptides and you know the thing that gets like sensationalized is like You kind of tap your jawbone with a hammer because like it's called like bone hammering or whatever So you like kind of do my gross reaction dude. It's crazy And he I watched the interview he said like oh man like that's really nothing But that's all like what you have bone smashing is a dangerous non scientific social media trend Primarily popular on tiktok and within looks maxing subcultures that involves intentionally inflicting blunt force trauma on facial bones To alter their structure Proponents falsely claim that repeatedly breaking and bruising bones with hammers bottles or hard objects Will cause them to heal in a more chiseled or masculine shape if that's the case everybody in stockton would be fucking beautiful Yeah, jefferson fucking hit in the face everybody's been fucking hit by bottles and shit Yeah, well the thing is it's like, you know a lot of it's just internet stuff But there is the underlying philosophy where it's like You know the die has been cast for you And if you're not like, you know super attractive or like As a you know, it's like guys are kind of becoming girls now where it's like I just got to be prettier And it's like there's a it's called the bone structure hierarchy Where like the way your bone structure is that kind of determines your whole fate as a person And if you don't ascend you'll become this like it's just like sad and very bleak and like this like uh I don't know this like really nihilistic thing where it's just like dude You can just be a dude. You don't have to be like I need to ascend I need to ascend so I can mug and blah blah blah just I feel bad I mean, I think a lot of kids at least joke about it, but I was watching that interview And I'm like man, this is like a really sad way to live being like My but my my sub-orbital is not maximal and but it's like dude. You're a guy who cares just and what is mogging That's not parking. Yeah. Mogging is like So you can be you can be height mogged You can be frame mogged if you're like someone's bigger than you and you stand if they take a picture with you And they're looking bigger you've been mogged. Okay, if they're taller than you you've been height mogged, you know And there's like you can go any dimension of like whatever you have So cock somebody could be cock mogging you somebody could be that's the worst mog if you get cock mog dude That's fucking tough. Yeah, I'd be hitting mine with a hammer Look at the fucking jaw bones on this little cock Like damn that thing's small. You're like, yeah, but look at that fucking smile on it Which is brutal because I know girls do that they take pictures together and there's a lot of like very hyper Uh specific comparison where they're like look at my knees and it's like this is now like younger guys I think are starting to do that to some degree becoming very aware and conscious of like he's taller than me in that photo It's like just fine. It's I don't know that kind of freaks me out We don't we can't have both People right you know, there's no there's not a friend. Yeah, he got frame mogged That was though he took a picture that's clavicular And okay, he got frame mog because the guy stood next to him was bigger and it was just That's like now you descend you were ascending and now he descended a little bit damn It's and this clavicular. I mean that guy also looks like he looks like a fucking G and c store So the other guys So that's the asu frag guy the guy in the black is clavicular. Yes. Yeah, so that guy. Yeah, it's that's just it looks It looks unnatural. I guess is what i'm trying to say. Yeah, dude. Well that first of all the guy on the right looks fucking insane, dude He honestly looks like a fucking good like kind of a trail lesbian No cap, bro. No cap dog blm talking on the sand You're wearing a fucking like bra shirt or whatever. What are you fucking doing? And also, you know, it started all that was lar lar uh, lar jamal old ball dude was fucking whatever Uh, that dude wearing that bra or whatever. We were shooting that fucking fade away or whatever. No, no, was he wearing a bra? Yeah, him and uh, sga were like Just goonin around after oh, I think that shit. I think I Well, this is this was that I don't know that was when I was growing up mixed dudes wasn't fucking Mixed dudes had enough after you're talking about what the fuck is that about? No, that's not it. That's crazy Yeah, i'm saying that's crazy. That's wild. You don't when do you need just that much of a shirt? Yes, take it. Yeah, you don't need it at all. Yeah, like you hit a gross spur or whatever dude I Did the sad thing about like the you see that guy that's like a very bizarre frame Um with all like the peptides and like filters and all this stuff that's what's garnering all the attention Like especially for women like your lips have to look all People are becoming literally artificial beings and they're it's like dude It's it sounds like a really complicated thing. It's just I think about this all the time There's this thing called super normal stimuli, which is like say, you know, it's it's It's not as like crazy as it sounds so like say they these studies where they had these butterflies and like the male butterflies that they saw On a female that was a shade of purple the more purple the butterfly was That was the more attractive they were and the butterflies would go mate with those butterflies The scientists made a shade of purple that wasn't able to be produced by the natural butterflies That was like such a deep purple the butterflies would just lay on this piece of piece of cloth and just die And I feel like that is happening to people in some regard where the people are like Especially women are making themselves into these like artificial Things and now guys are matching and it's just I don't know freaks me out So you're chasing an aesthetic that's not natural and it's not attainable and they're using all these like scientific methods A lot of women if women have those lip injections, dude, I'm out There if women put on too much lip like if it's a little bit I can get right But if it's just fucking dumb, dude, like your lips look like they've been like like they've been eating or whatever Yeah, dude. No, I'm telling that and there's there's also a fine line of plastic surgery where it almost all ends in the same exact look There's like a fully constructed face that you're like, oh, it's just like plastic surgery face I just feel bad because you know, you're obviously insecure Everybody is and then you do all this work and you're like, oh my nose looks better. This looks better and then it's like I have this like look that I look like I'm a clone or something Yeah, dude, some it's just too much. Yeah, and then also if a girl puts on so much lip gloss, bro I'm like it just like it's almost like you're saying it's like It's too It's like too much of the purple color. It's like it's too juicy. Yes No one's lips are this juicy like you know, and it's I just feel bad because uh, yes, I've seen this for sure that one is That's a rough look he's wearing a fucking jersey bra He's wearing a jersey bra. Look at this Yeah, that's what is going on. I don't know. I don't know Having a good time Yeah, that's a good point, man. No, but that's yeah, I saw that that's uh, you know, that's one of those videos You're like, dang, did I really look like that during that? He's still smiling. That's like a no and that guy's a boss Do you too? And honestly if he's one of the if any of these guys ended up being gay fellas or whatever Yeah, and being one of the best ever do it good for them. Exactly gives a shit gay jordan Gay jordan would be nice Just that light that slightly lighter lift off the should that would actually be kind of sick to watch Fly floating I just I feel bad for like, you know, because you have they they get like preyed upon because you're on social media And it's just nothing but before and afters before and afters before and afters and you just go after that and you get like You can get like permanently disfigured and it's just you know, it's just yeah I don't know. Something strikes me. It's like evil to do that Well, there's a lot of stuff now too where it's like, you know the peptide like all that stuff a lot of it There's not a ton of research done on it. We just started fucking hearing about it Yeah, and everybody started using it. I know and there was dude. I remember I was with a girl one night in her car And I was trying to make out or something. I remember but we were sitting in there talking and She's like, yeah, I got to leave in like two hours to go down to teowan and to get some uh Oh zimp, it's just cheap down there Really? Yeah, dude, they busted a woman outside of a vineyard buying selling Illegal ozimp. Oh bro. Yeah, that's who's you start going to the doctor and then they you know They all start talking to each other and they get one of them gets it off the internet Yeah, there's dude So many of them are doing it taking the jab and it is kind of you do get it like you can go to a doctor But it's like it's kind of expensive and all it takes is one of them being like I got this website I'll get it. I'll inject you and then it's like Does this person know what they're doing? Where did they really get that? What is this stuff? And it's I'm I'm so freaked out about Putting anything into my body. I like can't do it. I'll take like a new vitamin and I'm like, I feel kind of weird today That's me. I'm being a bitch, but it's like I really am like but that's Irishness. I think as well I think so you guys operate best on beer and stuff like that. I think so basic whiskey beer complete basics Yeah, I adding to I've I took the one it was like a pill form that just take it for your stomach And I think it helped I didn't really notice much but the needles man. I'm like I get just too scared I have one in my fridge. I can't do it. Hmm. I'm like, I'm like, yeah I'm gonna do it supposed to help you like sleep and burn fat and I like look at it. I go. No, I'm not doing that Just sits there. I'm scared of the needle. I won't do it. I won't do it Yeah, dude. Yeah, save that bitch in case things get crazy. Shoot it in one of your fucking plants true Dude, if you started pep time you I can play it dude Next thing, you know, you have like 11 blackberries in your yard, dude. That would be nice But yeah, we can each have my whole family can each have like three a piece. That'd be awesome How good are radishes though? You mentioned radishes radishes man there they grow so easy and they're like They're good. They can get a little spicy here and there but like those ones are they were rewarding because like that This is a thing too. Like I tried to grow on carrots. Dude the carrot greens this big I pulled the carrot out. I'm not lying This fucking big so that that kind of hurts you wait three months Then you just kind of take it out and throw it on the ground and let it kind of decompose Radishes just rip man. You can grow radishes anywhere those bull those under those like, uh Potatoes radishes. This is pretty easy. Yeah, there's tubers or whatever they're called I think yeah potatoes a tuber radish on like root vegetables. I guess yeah root vegetable They grow pretty good man I my grandma used to have them all in her cellar at the end the mechana In a day they'd have a lot of like senior citizens would have been their cellars and stuff like that Yeah, people out of root vegetables in there Um, I love radishes though. They're kind of they've kind of disappeared for a while You would kind of like shaved up like they'd fucking been Yeah, literally Like somebody had terrorized them and put them on like little salads kind of see that he like shredded radish Yeah, it's kind of weird. I feel like Mexican food brought them back into my life Because I would see them on the tacos and I at first I'd be like And then I started eating them. I'm like damn these things are pretty good actually you get a fucking spicy radish So bro put a little bit of salt on it. Yeah, man. They're good They're good and there's something I mean Just pulling it out the ground washing off and eating it. It's just there's something awesome about that You ever pulled one right out and just wash it right there and eat it in the yard? Uh, I'd have to wash it first. I usually bring it inside, but I'd like to I feel like those you got I've like picked them off. I picked like berries off a bush and eating them But the radish I'd never pulled them out of the dirt and eat them now do that I should actually I I have left a little bit of dirt on before when washing it and like it's got to be minerals and Shit in here. I don't believe in don't believe all the eating the dirt propaganda. Do you need dirt for sure? I wouldn't have a ton. I mean it depends on what area just the dust true. Yeah, true true True my soil is pretty good. It's a thing too. You gotta like work. You gotta like You know, you gotta build like a whole little colony in your soil, you know Because if you just dump soil out of a bag, it's not it's not living. It's how many square feet is your garden? Oh man, not a lot. It's probably like 40 total if if that and then I have a little thing outside my fence like it's like full sun all day That's probably another like I probably have like 50 60 square feet total small Do you have to water in the morning and evening or how does it I do in the summer? Yeah, but I water pale use the hose I had the hose and I have I have like some sprinklers now I got to hook them up But the I just kind of water them though twice a day depending on depending on how hot it is if it's like super hot That's twice a day. You put some mulch down to keep the roots keep the roots from getting scorched So it's just it's nice man, especially like yeah when you just see a new little bud pop off your plant It's just such a come out in the morning and I'm like, oh, it's just a nice little treat Yeah, and you're kind of like an orchestra conductor. Yeah, man nature. Yeah, it's it is pretty cool You got to be patient. You got to wait and it's like Like dude, I planted garlics Six months ago. I might have some like in three weeks and it's just like it's just like a thing That's like good. That's grow. You know what I mean? That's like, you know Because otherwise I've had a lot of times in life where I just have nothing to look forward to And you're just like whatever and like every day. I'm like, well, my berry is eventually Two years I have like things that are going to take like two years to grow and I'm like man two years is going to be sick Dude, I like that. It's it. I'm telling you it's really good for you I've been wondering If there was ever a time when you were with your family and your car broke down Because I've been there And I remember my the car was broke down And I stood off I walked off from that thing. I said I ain't even being with y'all anymore Just just didn't even want to be by my family. 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Please visit them at www.valor recovery coaching.com or email them at admin at valor recoverycoaching.com Thank you Well, I you know what I recently I started to get up earlier and do like just really Just start to take some control over my own life more. Yeah, like and it's just helped me so much And it's helped me to like I don't know everything else just feels like more possible. It's like Oh, I'm caring about what I'm doing here, you know, yeah Like it hasn't been like every day has been perfect, but just like over the past month. It's gotten like Let me see what I'm trying to say like So I'll get up and I'll like do some yoga at work out meditate Hit an a meeting or something and then I'm like it's like 10 a.m. And now I'm But in the rest of my day is mine, right? I don't have work and shit to do but I just feel like The more I'm investing in myself or things like that. It's like it feels good Dude, it's yeah, it's unbelievable because otherwise it's like what is moving your life You know, you know, you're just kind of being blown about I do that all the time Or I'm just kind of like you have to make your life mean something Exactly. I think when you're a kid you come out of this time We're like, oh, there's all these things that I get to get put into and there's somebody putting you in a shit You don't even realize it like you're yeah, all this stuff happens And you're just in but you like we kind of lose that as we get older You know, I mean, I know work comes along and family comes along but it's like, yeah, you have to Always feel like oh life has to make it. No, you have to make it. Yeah, dude. It's it's like 100% true That's actually fair. I never thought about that too because you do get thrown into school And yeah, you're just like, well, I guess someone will throw me into a job And then you just kind of just like drift along and it's like I I'll do that for like stretches of time and then like I'll just something will happen where I'm like The what the fuck am I doing? It just is a really bad feeling where I'm like, what am I doing with myself? And then yeah waking up and being like I'm gonna do this at this time. I'm gonna work out I'm gonna do this it dude. It really does make your life feel so much better. It's like a man Even if you get up like a half an hour early. Yeah, just like just get up and like go for a walk Otherwise. Yeah, that's that's a feeling that I get like really free like that'll really like bring me to a bad place When I realize I'm just being blown about Yeah by the whims of whatever forces are around me Especially as time goes on dude, I went to your birthday party. That was fun. That was fun That was a fucking complete shock 40. So you had no idea no clue Everyone's laughing at me like you didn't even google the thing like my wife told me she's gonna take me to a uh An opera and then she did it. It was actually to her credit. It's a pretty good move She's like we don't we never do anything like that. We never get dressed up and I was like, all right It was boys in the hood the opera I didn't know I didn't know what the hell it was man. I was like I didn't everyone's laughing at me because like didn't you google the opera wasn't even in town that weekend I'm like, I didn't look it up. I was just showing up man. You know and uh 84 percent of life just showing up Yeah, man, that's and I I really can just Be like what I don't look into things. I I realized that night. I didn't realize how Little I truly like look into things and I'll just like just be like, all right. I'll just come I don't I don't like research it because I was talking a lot of people that are like I'd have to look at the c-chart to have to know where I'm sitting Yeah, that's whimsical dude. That's like an irish hello or whatever. I Really do not know what the fuck is going on. No idea what's going on there and I just showing up there. Oh, this will be cool I was like, oh, I get to see an opera. I've never seen that before just wait until it came And then so I'm like in my head. I'm like, I'm gonna be in a dark room all night I was like, I'm gonna see a little weed edible. I'll be fine So I'm literally she was like all the tickets we got we get to go meet the opera singers like before and I'm like I'm meeting greet with the opera singer. So I'm like sounds weird, but I'm like, yeah, I'm down to meet them This is kind of cool I'm super goalable And then uh, so I'm like kind of stoned and I just like walk into this Room being like I remember the last thought I had was like, I wonder what opera singers are like Walk in and I saw my mother-in-law and I was like, what the hell? Why is she here? And then I saw someone I hadn't seen in like three years and I truly was like Oh, I'm probably having a dream and I was like, this is not real And I kept looking around and like the noises kind of came back and I was like surprised and I was like, what the fuck? And then I got like angry. I was furious at first. I was telling me that dude. I stood there and I was like 150 people I'm like kind of high on it. I'm like, this is I know this is oh completely overwhelming Surprise and then like I'm looking around me and like what the fuck she made everyone wear tuxedos and shit for this and I'm just like furious Sorry, I just felt like oh no and uh And then I just kind of like I like realized what was happening that I was like frowning at 150 people and I had to like Oh, hey, thank you everybody and it took me like an hour and a half to like the shock to wear off I was I was fucked up But you know eventually I was like what was the anger about you think kind of Because let me tell me that and that was fascinating and your wife was great, dude Like she started like five months in advance. She's like don't forget Friday or whatever and I'm like this Friday. She's like no Friday in five and a half months But she would remind you every month and I was like fuck and then once I said I promise I've said I promise I was like fuck gotta be there But it ended up being great though. It was a great night, dude. I got to hang out with Tony. There we are now adam egett Um, joe dorosa and is that your cup? It was Zach. He works at the uh, uh, yeah, he was at the motel ship for a while Um, but yeah, dude, it was a it was a good group though. Dude. It was that was it was fun I though I got there Was just like I don't even I couldn't even place the anger at first I was just going like what the fuck and I was actually kind of looking forward to sitting in a dark room all night watching The I was like, this will be crazy And then it was just like what I was angry about was like I don't really like a lot of attention So then I walked into just like a completely in total Just being like a wash and attention and like surprise and it just like it pissed me off Yeah, and then I was like, oh, this is like a party. This is nice It was it literally took my brain a second to be like So first it wasn't even a party because like, you know what I mean? Like my brain was like these are just people looking at me like why is this happening to me right now? And then I was like if they came in in layers and I'm like, oh, fuck. This is my 40th surprise party Because we did something two weeks before that. So I was like nice. I'm done So like it like took me my brain was like lagging for like seconds And then you know, I just like had a walk around and be like, hey, thanks. Say thanks. Say thanks, you know Thanks maxing. Thanks mouse. Thanks maxing Post maxing. Thanks maxing. Dude, it would be so funny because I'd be talking like a comedian And then there'd be just somebody who was randomly downstairs who was at the thing and it was a nice event man It was like an event dude It really was it was and there was like a thing with desserts and there was I think They even had like a duck or something. They had great food. They had uh But then there would be also like just family members or somebody's like, I'm man. It's 11 the cousin or whatever, you know You know I had to pot, you know just fucking I'm like I think one of yeah, one of my cousins I know I heard the next day kind of college you was like, let's get a photo right now Yes, oh, I don't remember some things but it was just like there was a lot of different things and you would get like Yeah, kind of irishy looking guys and missing that and then a fucking, you know Just somebody would down syndrome who they said was irish or whatever and then even just down to a big freckle in a wheel chair you know It just like there was this distinction of fucking McCuskas that had just been through it all, you know some civil war veteran was there like there was ghosts there Yeah, people were taking it back because that was only a small Faction of my family so people that I knew would be like because you would have seen various mutations of me where you'd be like That's gotta be one of his cut that people were like really laughing about that all night being like I can literally spot every single one of your family members. You guys all look exactly the same Dude, that would be the best if they had done a thing find matt's family Like a where's one? Yes And you had to like just like amongst all the people there you had to get like a signature from those 10 people That's kind of fun actually but now it was uh, it was cool man. I I I had a you know, I always I gave it up to Brittany I was like man, it was very sweet of her very nice very impressive. It was it was just such a It was like I said, it was like an event. It was like a massive event and it's you know I'm always kind of like that. I don't want to do anything, you know blah blah blah. So that was it was nice I was like I appreciated it, but it was it was a lot for me to take in yeah, it's scared Dude, I have a nice experience. It's kind of scary Especially that magnitude man. That was like that really like Through me upside down because I'm going like, you know, I don't like I don't like to be asked people to do anything You see people wearing tuxes. I'm going oh fuck So didn't my family hates dressing up. So I'm like, fuck me made her they made them do that and you know I was just like but it was cool. It was awesome and you can uh um You can can you still be drafter or not? Oh for the war I think they just bought yeah, I think the war is a 42 unique term or the military The conflict the uh, yeah, I think it's up to 42. So if I'm what are the requirements and they keep making the age bigger Dude, yeah, 42. Dude. There's the fucking I got two good years of me Bro, you could be years a colonel That'd be crazy I would I mean I went to college at least I want sergeant like I'm like I'm not going in there as a grunt Yeah, but actually I'd kind of like to boss up as a guy to be on time What are some of the army chains? So you have to do some of those probably? Yeah, it's like, I don't know what I've been told. Yeah 42 is not that old or whatever Welcome America Army race enlistment age to 42. Yeah, they're pandering to me ease his marijuana restriction, dude So you could have fucking dude. It's just gonna be a bunch of fucking thick trans kids on gummies out there Here was one of the problems Did you know that 70 of uh, of young americans are unfit to serve in the military? They couldn't serve in the military. Yeah 70 percent. Yeah, that's no surprise man. That's that's I mean that's sad blew my mind Really? Yeah, when I was a kid I feel like I've like it felt like 70 could serve in the military Yeah, yeah for sure. Yeah, some kids in wheelchairs or something. Yeah, like some black kids They were still sucking their thumb or something even though they were like 19 and still rock. Yeah, which is cool But they weren't saying anything but they weren't retarded So you got to pick a path But then you had like yeah one kid that would get sunburned bad. He couldn't go Yeah, that bee sting kid or whatever. It was always a fucking piece of shit I'm down for them just doing like battle bots. We're at the point now or yes, what is ridiculous to just be like Yeah, we're gonna just send a bunch of 18 year olds there to shoot each other So that's like it's just like I said this before it's like embarrassing like guys for real. We're still doing this Let's do battle bots Solve it see what's up whoever wins gets, you know, whoever takes pink slips Yeah, your buzz saw flips my wedge now you get to hold nukes and if I'll build a better robot I'll get the nukes back so I can destroy the world if I have to you know if I want to get my way Yeah, I agree. It's like what a to really be using. I don't know dude. It's just fucking but there's a trick where it's like Yeah, you know what you're right Then some guy just blows up your city and you're like I'm fucking blowing them up. Fuck that. Yeah, that's like, you know I don't think I think it's capable a major update to army recruiting regulations this week raises a maximum age A recruit can join a 42 and removes a barrier to joining for recruits with a single legal conviction from marijuana Or drug paraphernalia possession. Nice the army's previous limit was 35 though exceptions are occasionally made the higher age limit brings the army in line with other services limit of 41 in the navy and 42 in the air force That's the weirdest of all and again. It's well the fuck is that kind of shit? I don't know I thought that was fucking Doug standover on the left well the uh Okay, secret double life of christie numbs cross-dressing husband brian The pouting busty bimbo photos and trove of explicit messages He could have that could have been a costume he was doing Yeah, I mean see it's today revealed as a secret cross-dresser who dons gigantic fake breast and pink hot pants to chat with online fetish models Oh, that's the porno hole going wrong, man. Yeah, that's what you need to you need to shut the laptop Once you're putting once you're bimbifying yourself for webcast is that what happened? He was bimbifying. It looks like well his wife operated at the highest echelons of government handing handling matters of national security in a recent role as dhs secretary by brian know him 56 has been dressing up and playing adult And are and paying adult entertainers to talk dirty the daily medals reviewed hundreds of messages involving three women from the bimbification scene Where porn performers transfer themselves into real-life Barbie dolls by pumping colossal amounts of saline into the breath Oh, that's that was that's his that was his boobs basically from saline Yes, he pumped his it was he pumping his own tits full of that shit God, okay. No, he had balloons. Okay Oh brian An insurance model could be seen squeezing into a flesh colored crop top with skin tight pink shorts Hold on so those those tits were balloons with the nipple. Oh the knots mimic the nipples I mean, I'll get I'll at least shout them out on the nipple position. That was that's pretty smart. That was kind of nice Dang, bro Well, what the fuck dude? What the fuck is going on? Bro? I that's nice for balloons. I'll get whoa Oh, man, but he has that kind of glossy skin where he's fucking, you know what I'm saying That's a horny guy I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that that's kind of alpha To be that horny where you have balloon boobs like a fifth grader No, it sounds like what those fucking clavicular kids gonna be doing Putting fucking hacky sacks in their chest and shit Yeah, man, that is uh, he sent his secret roster of online equitants Is at least 25,000 dollars via cash out and PayPal But when the payments were delayed or filled him to your laws of chance would quickly turn sour Oh, I bet I would if I paid fucking 25,000 dollars looking at my balloon tits and you didn't uh, you delayed on me. I turned sour Oh, dude, so they they kind of like put his stuff out there Yeah, it's a sounding that somebody who spouses at that level has that kind of bad judgment Oh Bro, I didn't know this is a thing dude Yeah, I guess it is dude Honestly, bro, all this shit makes me want to cut my own wiener off and mail it to Africa, dude I'm not even joking, dude. I thought about that for years cut my wiener off me done my nuts off Yeah, if they want it or just whatever you want you can do it send them both But keep your nuts because that'll keep your t going and stuff that way Yeah, keep my fucking nuts. Let your nuts hang Yeah, chop off your unit and just keep everything and mail it to Africa feed a feed a person or two That'd be nice. They grill that bitch off in a second, dude. Munch that thing. They get some fucking tennessee wiener in the mail They would grill that put mine on a toothpick and serve it at a party with others, but yeah They'd be like glizzy No, it's that's a glizzy A fresh glizzy, but that is sad man. It's like, yeah, it's a way here the uber driver He's like We need our revolution You podcast guy He was but you pumped up. Yeah, you know, he's trying to get me to fucking do something like dude I'm fucking trying to go I'm going to work, dude. He's probably CIA. Honestly. He could have been a fucking hot He's probably massage But it was just kind of crazy. He's like we need a revolution Yeah, because he's like hey, I was gonna come it's gonna be all way most We won't have a job, you know, that's true too. Yeah, that stops coming man for sure. That's gonna be weird I mean it is gonna be a you're not scared of it though. You said no not really. I mean it's like I Well, here's the thing it's like if I felt like it was coming and it would just like Destroy my livelihood. I'd obviously be afraid of that. I don't think it is And I feel bad if it does but I feel like maybe this is me just being hopeful It it will kind of engender some like massive change where people then have to like learn how to You know, like do we start just sharing stuff? So everyone has what they need like what do you like literally? What are you doing that? You know people go that's communistic. It's like, yeah, obviously, but it's like if it wipes out Just like nine industries at once and you have millions and millions of people who could work that just there's no point for them To do it. It's like what do you do? Like what do you do then? It's like are they gonna have to just like invent weird like almost like fake jobs That people gonna get paid just to kind of vibe out. I don't know I'm personally kind of curious to see where it goes because it's like you're not gonna fight the ai stuff Everyone's like we're gonna stop it. It's like no you're not if it if it saves big corporations money They're it's coming. They're going to do that Then it becomes like what do you do and I guess like, you know Yeah, I could get now that I think about it. It's like, well, maybe the billionaires will like give us some money I'm like, well, they said that fuck you think they will well That's what they've said is that they're that they people would get some sort of a stipend or some sort of a ubi Universal basic income or some sort of a token That they could use for things like for which is crazy to hear like altman said this sort of shit Um, there's a king then so then we'd have kings which again if we go back to some like futuristic medieval like serfs lords kings knights Could be chill. I don't know again. I don't know. There's probably people like fuck you could be chill though Could be chill dude you get to like wander I get to just be in my garden light fires and just kind of like Think about the glory of the king. Yeah, King Sam Altman King Altman Just cuts my fucking head off and He cuts your fucking ram down He cuts your hard drive down to fucking 30 megabytes a month Yeah, no more questions about your garden. I'm sorry my lord And then that that thing comes through where you throw the dead people just on it Like if your neighbor dies remember back in there like in the The wheelbarrow dead part or whatever. Yeah Yeah, I I think and this is my again. This is my shitty. Yeah my fucking ear pods in his pocket We put him on the fucking head card. This is me being a Humanity check his pockets a fat guy You gotta follow on your device. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like you know every society rises and then falls in a terrible cataclysm That's like there hasn't been one that's made it out of it yet. So like Maybe it's like with co vid there was it was covered was bad But it also did kind of shake people out of that like Dole thoughtless malaise that so many people are trapped in just like a meaningless Existence they kind of hate so I'm hoping the ai shakes the cage enough where people can kind of come out of it But then we don't all just like fall into like complete chaos and start like killing each other Yeah, I think there's a sweet spot. So I'm hoping it kind of shakes it just a little bit that makes sense Yeah, so that that's my hope but it's like yeah, then it's like well, maybe the billionaires will be generous. I'm like Well to me it feels like they They want us poisoned enough, right? It's obvious. There's so much that has poisoned it. Yeah our fucking water Fluoride makes people dumb like if you have floored in your water, you're dumber. Yeah. Yeah, which is crazy, dude um but like They want us to be dumb enough and like not have any fucking balls or want to do And so you just are kind of like in this sort of wheel And you're comfortable in the wheel and the amazing thing to me sometimes is how comfortable a lot of us are in the wheel Included myself. Oh, yeah, you're like, you know what? I could go out there and protest sometimes or I could do this or you know, but I could just sit here and watch March Madness Yeah, you know just got some new massive chips. I got some fucking good ranchers nuggets Massive chips are nice, bro. I love those things. They're nice if you eat too many of them No, yeah, that's a fucked up belly and and I don't eat them anymore I like I had like six bags or in a row or whatever I can't have them anymore. No, you eat the whole bag and you're like, I just ate a pound of beef Tello, what's like having gym when you're a kid or whatever you can't have it anymore You know, but it's like that for me. It just kind of burnt out the thing that I'm hopeful about is that like You know because if it becomes like if money becomes a weird thing where it's like there's UBI and like You do have these like rich billionaire overlords like money is the thing if you have enough of it It kind of like, you know pumps up your ego to where you're like, yeah, I did it. I'm the man I've always wondered if we could somehow trick like ultra rich like billionaire types into being like no the real flex is like Putting like nine million people on like assistance and making like a cool future peaceful village and like getting them to think like Yeah, that would be cool if I did that. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, like why wouldn't You just have to make up their nerds like so like Zuckerberg you'd be like, dude Instead of like attacking them be like, dude, actually Zuckerberg's super jacked and super tough and cool at jujitsu and just like Giving the nerds everyone like yeah, we love you guys And maybe they'll just like You know use billions of dollars to terraform the earth into like a cool hobbit world. I don't know now now I'm just I'm reaching when you start to wonder is it an evil autism that's out there. Yeah, we need to give them Yeah, exactly. I think you could be completely right Because because yeah to think that you'd have billions of dollars and other people don't have anything is pretty crazy Yeah, but that's that's the thing though because it's like I think about that all the time and it's like White house turns down elan must offer to pay tsa agents during dhs shutdown. Why? That that thing was like, well, yeah, we can't pay the tsa guy This is I'm a single issue voter and it's wait times at airports currently. Mm-hmm, but it's like Dude just take the tsa out of that there because they're trying to both pass these like big deals Where it's like, well, we'll do the tsa, but you have to agree to this both are doing it. There's omnibus bills Yeah, it's like take tsa out of it. You guys can go. Okay. Let's fund tsa. Okay back to arguing about bullshit forever It's I it's just that shit pisses me off. Yeah Musk the CEO of tesla known over social media platform x Said uh offer to pay the salaries on Saturday I would like to offer to pay the salaries of tsa personnel during this funding impasse that is negatively affecting the lives of So many americans at airports throughout the country who are on x president trump said money that he would love it if musk paid the agent salaries I think it's great. Let him do that the offer musk was also warmly received by lawmakers um But then this is here's the problem is no i pay him right john fetterman said the offer was incredibly generous in his response to the post tsa agents across the country were relying on Food pantries and community donations just to get by uh dhs officials told house lawmakers Wednesday that over 480 airport screeners have quit since the beginning of the shutdown And that the agency is expected to lose one billion dollars in miss paychecks by the end of this week dude uh timothy melin era melin banking shout out pittsburgh donated 130 million dollars to pay the military During the 43 day long government shutdown from october to november but what's crazy is is This could be a trap because then you're letting kind of x or or uh tesla become this privatized You know because now you're kind of privatizing airport security. Yeah, whether you realize it a little bit or not You're saying okay, I will let him pay these salaries then he comes in and says well, how about this? Why don't I just Why don't tesla just manage airport security? Yeah, you can probably do it so much more efficiently. Yeah, and so that's this Like i'm not which i'm not saying would be bad. I'm just saying that's where things get kind of risky a lot of times Like offers like that. There's this kind of caveat of of hopeful business on the line Dude, uh, I didn't know this until recently public transportation in chicago and like I think the late 1800s. There's all public company or private companies. So like you would just own Like, you know, whatever like in fear new york. It was like but it's chicago like the l train That was the guy who owned the l train everyone who paid tickets all the money went to him And there was another guy who owned like the north side public and they all eventually the city came It was like guys give me this That was like that was like that for a while It was it was like incredibly competitive and corrupt and you'd have to Lobby the government to like pass your thing and you pay people off and you just Collected all the fares personally didn't like didn't even go to the city so yeah, it's uh That is a tricky thing though because they can you know, then they can start doing their weird like Credit card. I mean, you don't get great customer service with government agencies. No, dude Have you been to the post office? The post office is crazy. I was there but I there was a There was like this sister that was working in there She's fucking fighting with a bird that's in there trying to steal like a fucking thing of tape or whatever and i'm like Like in the little gift section area. I'm like, there's nobody else in there When going by it's just fucking unbelievable I was an asian dude He peeked up out of the back for like a second the guy with the mustache Dude, it's the catfish looking One of those packaged catfishes. He's just back there. He swims up to the fucking door peeks around Just to make sure he's not nobody's looking for him and fucking goes back into the fucking Hiding behind the seven day certified mail. You'll never see him for like 40 more years He's just a hide for 40 more He's like he saw his own shadows like 11 more months of fucking being on the clock on the government's dime Post office is crazy. I see I see mail all of our merch for like in the beginning I would mail all of our merch personally so I started going to the post office with just like Boxes of like 45 50 60 shirts already wrapped up And like I got to know the people there pretty well But it was like at first I would just show up before they knew me They'd be like what are what are you doing to us? And then they eventually gave me another address where I could just like Drop it off at the like hub and they would just take them like a big thing at once and just throw them in the thing But it was funny. Yeah, I used to get I used to go there and they let me like come towards the back and dump it in Fuck yeah, it's kind of cool to see behind the scenes. It was cool But it was just it's very it is like chill time if there's a line at the post office people are like Okay, it's like dmv mentality. You're like, yeah, whatever man. Don't care. They don't feel lines. No You only feel lines on one side of the counter the other side of the counter. They don't feel that line No, it's not a restaurant where you're like, oh, fuck people are gonna leave you. It's like, yeah, fuck it Go use fucking something else public transit in Chicago shifted from private to public control in the mid 20th century Centered on their creation of the Chicago Transit Authority the cta in the 1940s The Illinois general assembly passes the metropolitan transit authority at 1945 Um when cta took over the big private rail and streetcar systems and effectively complete Completed for city service 19 to do with the motor coach purchase Yeah, anyway, yeah, that's when it happened true Um, I saw you've been doing some history pods. Yeah all my patreon I've been doing I've been getting deep into like the uh, conquisitor error like the spaniers going first to like Yucatan in Mexico to like, you know, and they like when uh, Cortez kind of took over the Aztecs and then I there's another guy who like navigated the amazon river like later on and they like The bazaaros took took out the inking empire. Those do those those stories are like Insane and that's I've like I've talked to uh, I talked to the author who wrote both the books I was talking about and we're both agreeing. It's like dude. That's a movie I talked to this other guy about this too where it's like the fact that there's no movie about that yet It's insane because it is like especially Cortez taking over Uh, the Aztecs it's the craziest story because everyone's like, oh, yeah, he showed up and like tricked montezuma And it like they did do that, but it was like it was like a multi-year effort They had like brutal battles it was it went on like forever and they were like Inside tennachieitlin, which was like the city of the Aztecs Dude, that was like a brutal siege. They barely escaped had to come back and attack it again It was absolutely insane Were they bad people that they were attacking or they were just people that they wanted their land or it was just like during that Colonial times it was it was a little bit of everything. It was definitely during the colonial times the spaniards definitely just wanted gold They were like, yeah, you guys have gold we're taking the shit Oh, yeah, Cortez wasn't even supposed to do it Some he was he was sent by another guy Velasquez who was like take this flotilla of ships Is there they were in I was it like Cuba maybe or somewhere? And they were like he was like I want you to scout this Mexico whatever place And you know see if they have any gold or slaves and you know bring them back to me That's crazy dude. Dude. So Cortez is like for sure. He just took 13 ships and was like fuck that guy I'm going on an expedition to conquer to conquer. So he just it was like completely illegal You know, it was all like fucked up But he just was like I'm doing my own thing like a like a pirate basically Yeah, it's like when you bar like when your dad's like hey go fill my car with gas But you take it to go see your girl Yeah, dude for like the ultimate version It's if I give you gave you a fleet of like trucks and you're like, yo, let's go We're you know, and it was like he just rolled up there were three 300 400 guys And they just Battled and just battled and like made alliance that was the thing that helped them They made so many alliances with different people that hated the Aztecs And it was like, you know, everyone's like the Spaniards, you know, they did some stuff that was obviously horrible but the problem was In like the Aztec times it was all kind of like Yucatan Peninsula southern Mexico up into like central And uh, so you were just being a village and the Aztec chiefs would be like, yo, it's time for taxes But their taxes were sacrifice victims So they would come down and be like give us like 30 people So you'd be living together and they'd be like, yeah, we're gonna fucking chop you up chop you up Let's go and like they would just snag most of your babes and he'd be like Fuck so then Cortez comes and they're like, yeah, I'll help you fuck those guys up So they're all were like kind of against each other And then like the thing that really kind of like it's fucked up But it would make me laugh They would be friend the natives there and the natives back Oh, you guys seem cool Want to see something cool that we like and they would take them to one of these like religious temples It would just be like a dog with its head bashed in like little kids bones And they'd be like, yeah, we fucking chop that dog's head off and they'd be like, what the fuck What are you guys doing? What's wrong with you guys? So there was like You know and they say the spaniers Exaggerated a lot of the sacrifice and but it was like it was definitely on the books and like So they got there and they were like greedily looking for gold But then they'd be like these guys are chopping off kids heads and kicking them down the steps They're like, you fuck these guys. That's kind of how they were thinking. I was here saying these guys need Jesus We're gonna kill them and turn them into slaves and give them Jesus and take their gold and we're doing a good thing So it was like it was kind of fucked up all around on it in my opinion, but like nobody knew, you know what I mean? Like I didn't think it was bad. So Do you think like it kind of goes to an overall idea of like Yeah, do you think that like a human existence is like a trial to see of like good versus evil or like Like I wonder what it is, you know And and then you know As things start to get weirder and stuff then you start realizing when most countries always live under like some severe oppression Yeah, with no hope of like a lot of freedoms Yeah, with not even the ability to express themselves in some ways. Oh dude. Yeah for sure Like yeah, you start to realize that like I don't know. It's just I don't know. I just yeah, you wonder like And then you start to think well, how does this end like does this end? Well, but then if that if if if you had groups at that time if you had quartets traveling around and realizing, okay We believe these are bad people. We need to bring them into some sort of enlightenment of understanding Is that the right way, you know, it's just I don't know no it dude It's really tricky and the fun so they were legally also they were legally bound So you'd roll into a village and like you'd hope they're peaceful. Otherwise you're just doing battle I think that first 10 minutes has got to be a tough very tough But luckily for them they'd roll up dude They'd roll up in like on a horse which first of all the Aztecs they would see a per any others the minds are there as well But they would like they would see a dude in metal on a horse and think this was like some New type of be Tesla. They never saw yeah They never saw someone riding a horse So they thought the man and the horse became like one weird creature and they were like what the fuck They would just come at you 30 miles an hour with a steel sword and it's like it was terrifying And then like cannon fire that like helped them out a lot But yeah, they just thought they were like aliens. They didn't know what the fuck they were They were like and then you know, they like killed a couple of the Spaniards and they're like, oh, we can kill these guys And they were you know, munch them. So wow, let's munch them a little bit But yeah, it was dude history has been brutal and it is getting things do seem to be getting better overall like that dude That's like rolling into a village. You're like, I'm hungry. I want some gold Fucking, you know Cortez wouldn't he would be like nice enough But then as soon as people started fucking with him, he was like fucking burn villages down burn people live It's like brutal stuff. That's a dude. That's a crazy mix. So I'm hungry. I want some gold Yeah, well, they would be starving They would be walking walking walking like fuck we don't have enough food And they just you just see a village like we gotta go munch these guys are shit Dude and bro, you think there was hot babes back then at that time for sure Oh, yeah 100 I mean, they're probably healthier babes Healthy, I mean, yeah, true. I mean, but here's the thing though. It's like it's all relative because like You know, you're uh, like these guys are all by the way like 21 22. So you're a 22 year old Spanish guy in 1600s or you know late 1500s There's guys probably they're like they're on like legendary nofaps all of them They probably weren't like beating off every day to porn hub. That's a these guys are the chambers fully fucking cocked Yeah, so yeah, they were probably like Any they probably you know, there's obviously a lot of brutal rape and stuff going on but like but yeah, Cortez famously In one of the battles they like the general handed him like here's a bunch of women like blah blah blah The one of them happened to be A former princess from like one of the chief or chiefdoms who then got sold into sex slavery by like, you know A warring tribe who then got given to Cortez as like, you know a sex slave But she happened to be a princess Malinche who like was like honestly one of the key figures who helped him translate all the languages so that he could move about What he did like I don't know if he could have done it without her. It's pretty crazy. Wow They became they became lovers man. They were like They were thick as thieves and Cortez had a wife the whole time Living in Cuba so when his wife after he finally won he finally wins over defeats the Aztec empire takes it over himself That's his great Dude his wife comes over to visit him because she's like all right this fucking guy's been gone I don't know what the hell he is been gone for two years Cortez has a Child with this new babe who like been through it all with him. Yeah, and his wife shows up kind of gives him an earful Dude, he choked her to death And he's just that was just his babe. He was pretty fucking brutal That's pretty brutal shit man. That's a crazy love story. It's it's it's the bizarrest love triangle But dude if you're gonna conquer a bunch of shit like that you got to chill the first week or something dude You can't just be coming up. Yeah, you can't get out the car Malvin all He literally it was like a savage Conquest and it was like, you know, he's there with all of his bros and like he was also he had made these alliances with these other Like, you know indigenous factions who like when they beat the Aztecs finally They all had a party the night of and they're the you know the Spaniards was like drinking fucking around Dude these like Aztec dudes were like cutting off their enemy skin and like walking around in it And like you're just all party. They had like a brutal fucked up like two-day party that they all woke up from and were like Let's say mass right now. That was kind of wild and then his wife came to visit mouth off and he just Killed her Damn, yeah, it's fucked up. It's a fucked up story It is sorry, but it's kind of it's the story that we keep living It's just crazy like that, you know, you don't know who's supposed to be like The righteous ones who's supposed to win what the whole thing is who's doing things in the name of the right Purpose, you know, you're trying to go off of some moral calculations that you feel like you have but then we're all like Immoral we're all like broken people. So it's like I don't know man. No, no, that's that's the thing too. Like I said, I try to like, you know, keep like At least an open mind to like, all right. Well Even with Iran, it's like I'll say they do make a nuclear weapon and then they drop it on whoever It's like, yeah, maybe they have this I don't know, but it's like but they're dropping it They're not they're not dropping them or they're just going to use it to get like a seat at the table I think that's what people do with nukes. You make them and you're like, all right Can we fucking we get at the big boy table now? Yeah, I fucking get in here. So yeah, I don't know, you know I mean, I have no idea. That's gotta be crazy. Now. Do you also think you're feeling? Do you also think though you can kind of see how like these fucking mega lords and tech lords and shit like, um like They start to sit around like they all got a room like dude, we're the fucking We own the world, right? They have there's no way they don't do right. You're a hundred percent, right? And they be like, well, we should obviously make sure the world stays like this that we own it Let's keep everybody fucking dumb. Let's keep doing this shit and let's keep bossing out and drinking Kid dick or whatever until we we live forever You know, like I just feel like there's gotta be That has to be like and then you Because you start to wonder how could people at a certain level get to that? But they must think well if i'm this fortunate This must god must want me to you know i'm saying like yeah Because if you have been so fortunate and you do have a religious beliefs And your ego gets involved I could see how you could end up on that road for sure God wants me to do things this way and then you start just fine. Whatever you do or or it's the opposite You have no religious convictions at all and you go like this is it's just you know It's like the those people who look at the world where it's like yeah Strongest person wins the whole point of life to be comfortable and like in a dominant position and then like there's people who have that That's like genuinely their philosophy. So like yeah, I'll just leverage Uh technology to gain more and more power to my advantage and it's like that's it scary Especially when they get into like the realistic possibility of becoming Biologically immortal and you're like fuck dude like just want to grow my radishes man Yeah, it's it's freaked out man. It is really freaked out, but it's also like I don't think there's a lot of peace though if you if you're like running some cyber Tronic fucking war surveillance apparatus. I don't think those guys are chilling. I don't think they feel good I think some of them don't feel Yeah, that's fucking that's so that's the scary part is they don't have the thing Yeah, I think you're actually right about that like to them. It's all a fucking game when they die They just short circuit or you know I'm saying they don't have like a lot of these people It feels like don't have something um No, yeah, you could be right about that. But yeah, man. I agree. It's like get back to what can you control right? So you make a garden you go on a nice walk You spend some time with your neighbors you do things that feel good while you're alive You know, we didn't create the world. We're just here in it and uh Yeah, I don't know it's it's all cyclical too, man. It's like it'll yeah It's gonna rise and fall and you know, it's again. It's the problem is it's like yeah Hopefully this time it's isn't the time where like Everything pops off and we all just get wiped out in a hot flash. It's like that is That's scary. But like what do you like what are you gonna like run into the white house and just get like shot in the face? By a secret security. It's just like you have to just chill. It's like nothing you can really do Let me see this. Steven pinker argues that by most measurable indicators violence health wealth rights and knowledge humans are doing better now than In any previous time, even though it feels like things are getting worse. I don't fucking believe that guy Well, I mean, it's it's like yeah, there's probably less Kind of crime and like large-scale violence. It's just you just it's probably it's just the information You get bombarded with just like all this horrible shit Right, and I think there's still like, you know news outlets or it's all everything is I believe that this is It depends on what you mean if you don't care about existing and like feeling like uh You can grow as a human then maybe so I thought we were past some of this like old school colonial shit. We're just gonna, you know, you think we would get past that Yeah, but Um, no, it's the same thing. They're gonna they did it with iraq. They're gonna go Oh, there's like an existential threat like try to think back on since but america knows it's not true now We know it's not the problem and it's not our no one's upset at our soldiers or anything That it's just the people putting them out there in harm's way and to think about that Well, it's like dude think about a time there hasn't been a giant looming existential threat overhead I know since like literally the atom bomb it was like terrorism was the big one and that was like the iraq war You know back when like when I before that it was just like fox news my parents would watch it It would just be like Crime in the city to be like the inner cities are out of control. They're gonna come kill you always and then it was just like Terrorists are gonna come fucking kill you and then it was unsolved mysteries. Yeah. Remember they threw that there in the middle Yeah, yeah, then there was unsolved mystery unsolved mysteries was fucking good though. I like it was banging Maybe you It helps solve a mystery And do we go outside and i'm fucking looking for missing people in our area? We're like, are you rebecca owens? Sadly, I never stepped up to the plate. I wasn't passive of unsolved mysteries. I never even tried I I kind of I feel bad about that I used to collect all those one of your missing cards at ones that came in the middle. Yeah And I'd fucking look at those bitches on my case That's good I was all felt like I was like because I always wanted to find somebody that was missing or always wanted to find like a Dead body or something. Yeah, I was just talking to a guy today. He does uh For a living I had him on my show for a living he goes into bank owned foreclosures and his job is to like assess What bad how bad of a condition it's in and he's been multiple times come in just a dead body And he said he was kind of like kind of you know, I gotta like give it a you know respectful Nudge and then you call if I call the cops or whatever come get it You think the first time you nudgey nudge light and then after a while you fucking get a little tough like the fourth and fifth Time you fucking just give it a I think you give it two solid just like a hard knock Just two you got to make sure just give it one and then just like case it's waking up Then no response. Yeah, it's a dead person. I'm in the house with the dead person by myself and I gotta call the cops Yeah, they must have had a good exterminator There you go right there, dude. Is that j rod the electrician? Shout out j rod the electrician dude if you haven't followed that guy's journey, it's the best Um, but yeah having a garden doing things that build your own life up. They give you purpose, right? That's the thing Let me do some with my kids. Let me fucking Uh, look at this dead rat or you know what I'm saying, but let me let me check out this dead rat space Let me start a history podcast. Let me learn about journeys that were before me You know, just I think we have to start to create our own senses of purpose. We have to find new ones in our lives Yeah, man, I think that I totally agree and it's like, you know, I just for me it's just like I'm weary of the news apparatus information whenever I find myself getting angry You know, it's again, it's just like I start to ask myself like am I getting pulled into some weird thing and I try to just like You know, it it it gets it sounds like a cop out but like stay out of that as much as possible Like what can I do? It's like I'll try to make people laugh if I can And just make like, you know, some vaguely entertaining in some fashion stuff and then yeah Just try to conduct myself and like tend to the stuff around me because it's like I don't fucking know what the hell's going on It's like I don't I have no idea I can I can surmise and guess and I think I have You know idea, but it's like I don't know. Yeah, I just be like look man That's if someone calls me to ask me to help with the situation. I'll try to do it I can but it's like it's just you know, you're almost like sometimes I feel like I'm just spinning my wheels or just like I'm getting like Kind of worked over a little bit to where it's like these guys. They're in my head right now And I'm you know, that's that's like dangerous man. I suppose you can get like collective anger You're just fucking you can move that stuff around and like people you can do stuff with it It's like I'm always kind of weary where I'm like, I don't know man Yeah, that's part of the trap too. You start to realize well, this is part of trap. They want us to be upset Yeah, there's a reason why they have all this information that's out there So much of it is still under control that there's a reason why this little bit and this got leaked and it's like Yeah, I don't know being alive is interesting man. I will say it gets more and more interesting It does I I agree. The older you get I think it does get more and more interesting for sure I like I like getting older a lot of people are always like oh man, this sucks. I'm like, bro I like I'm excited to be 50. He's like, he's gonna be awesome. You just got 40 man. I know I'm gonna be 40 I'm gonna chill and be 40, but it's like I don't have the uh I think it's cool. I don't know something about getting older like everyone I guess when you start hurting all over that probably sucks, but I kind of I dig it. I like getting older getting gray. I want to get I want to look like old as fuck as fast as possible It's my goal right now. Really? I'm trying to age max. Yeah Yeah, that's fucking dope, bro This is a die job. By the way, I'm like jet black normally. Is it really? No I'm really stressed out I Will do thanks for coming in in chatting with us bro for sure. Um upcoming dates the Fitzgerald theater for Matt McCusker Hoyt Sherman place Des Moines Saint Paul Phoenix Tucson Phoenix and Tucson and You guys got to show up Toronto. Oh the Elgin's a cool spot, dude. Toronto's been good. I'm happy with Toronto and Chicago Let's go. That's my I'm stoked on that Um, dude, thank you for that. Yeah, dude. Thanks for and I got to come and do you guys a show again when I'm back I'm please please do that be awesome next time. It's uh, we got to come and do we did that one last time with la maire It's awesome, dude. Yeah. Yeah Dude, these are whatever I think it's long keys was great. That was I think that might have been an all-time episode for real It was awesome Yeah, dude, it's fun when you sit down. So thank you bro. I appreciate it. Um Yep, tell britney. Thanks for inviting me to the party for sure. It was a good time. Thanks for coming Dude, it was great. I'm glad I got to see you and just be there for you so many people love you It's so many people it's so funny. You're like the one guy when you say something like oh, man He's a great guy. It's almost like you're dead But they say that about you while you were alive. It is kind of fucked up They're like god if he were here right now, we would fucking Hi dog him. Ah, he was a great guy. It's nice to be getting eulogized. Just like Yeah, he was a great guy when you get living eulogies, dude. I think you're doing a good job, man Thanks for all your service to humanity, dude and uh, matt and shane secret podcast and what's the new history podcast called? It's just on our patreon. Okay. Yeah, we just that's just a thing I do on our patreon Shane was gone filming. So I had to like I had to just Read books had to rely on like cool books, you know, that was that was kind of me But it was it was like I can't just make up stuff to talk about. Yeah. So yeah, I just had the books Yeah, man, thanks bro. Thank you for everything dude. Good to see you dude. Appreciate it. Yeah, man. Thank you I must be cornerstone Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind. I found I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna