Chapter 48: The Scientist

Midnight Burger will always be free to listen to, but it's not free to make, so please consider supporting us by subscribing on supporting cast, Patreon, or Apple Podcasts. For early access, add free shows, exclusive content, and our enduring gratitude. Just follow any of the links in the show notes for this episode. And it makes me furious! It means the things I can choose are the most important things. So I choose this. In an act of rebellion against an existence that chooses so much for me against my will, I choose to pull up the skirt of the cosmos and give everybody a free show. We will know the secrets of existence. We will know the code of the cosmos. People will look up into the stars and will feel wonder without fear. We will know the nature of all things and we will be at peace. And on that day, and that day alone, I will finally have had my revenge. Let's start it back then. I was upon a time. There was a scientist. She had no library, no observatory, no laboratory. Only the mind, the thought, the pencil, the page. A library is finite, an observatory obscured, a laboratory nearly a playpen. But her mind, one day her mind would contain the length and breadth of the cosmos. Enough, enough, stop the music, stop it. Raise your glasses, everyone. Raise your glasses. In this moment, the heavens are alive. This moment is the time of a great visitor that looms above us. It is a time of great change and a time of destruction. A destruction of the old ways, the sky has become to crack and paint. And the old masters with their old ideals begin to shake beneath their ropes. It is a time where I shall race my hammer and crack open the sky. But in this time, we have not won great visitor, but too. Fate has blown her trumpet and sent me an ally. Raise your glasses, all of you, for the Lady Maddox has returned to us. She could not have come at the more fortuitous time. For soon we shall go to see Frederick and we shall deliver to him the greatest gift ever given to a king. The heavens themselves. Now, remember all of you, the greatest presence is a gift, but it comes at the price. When she is with us here at Uranniborg, we will all be required to speak this bastard English. One word of dance from any of you and I toss you into the irrescent myself. I don't enjoy it when you think I am joking. Now, my Lady, please, rise and speak. Thanks. Well said, my Lady. Now, all of you refill your wine. We have ink and parchment for you all. Let us move to the garden where we will begin to document our visitor in the sky. The scientist had found herself on an island in a castle at the long table of dinner party. She was surrounded by friends none of whom she remembered, but she was used to forgetting people. When you seek to contain all of existence in your mind, there is rarely room for others. Well, well, look who snuck him right under our noses. Salutations to you, my Lady. First question to you. What the fuck are you wearing? You look like a Spanish horseman. Well, at least put this little number on here. It's November and Denmark. Let's cover up, yes. That's a move. Correct. Uranibor castle. Welcome to it. Are we just saying words, my Lady? I'm Antico Brajé's castle. Well, it is the only one on the island. Island. I'm on Venn. That is where the Lord lives, yes. I've never been here before. Never. No. Ah, yes, you warned me about this. I did. Yes, I thought it was one of your little jibes that no one understands, but I'm coming to the realization that you were serious. What did I say? You said that if you ever make an appearance at Uraniborg and begin acting as if you've never met me, not to worry, you sometimes suffer from the strange vapors. Yes, you forget things and then you remember them. You said it was an affectation of your brilliance. Oh, something. I have been here before. Indeed. You're dressed like a court jester. Because I am one. I've read about you. Yep. Your name is yep. The one and only yep. I see it's already coming back to you. Sure. Sure. Just give me some time. Of course, my lady. Now, let's move along. The master does hate it when we tarry. What's happening now? We're all going outside to document the visitor. Here's your parchment. Here's your quill of two bottles of ink. Shall we go? Hmm. Visitor? This way, my lady. Musicians, we are moving to the garden. Secure your instruments and a move along please. Spread out across the garden and begin your observations, everyone. Oh, shit. She's quite a beautiful lady, isn't she? Well, hello there, see 1577V1. Nice to meet you. In the sky there was a visitor. A bright spot re-thed and messed. With a white veil streaking across the sky. Like a bride of the gods. It was brighter than the moon. It outshone the stars. It hung there in the winter sky, casting its icy glow on the faces of all the onlookers. They would call it the great comet of 1577. She would call it C1577V1. And there was one who called it a weapon. There it is, Apha. With it we will break the sky. I had no idea how huge it was. I would ask you why you have not announced your arrival or how you manage to steal your way on to Finn without my knowledge. But instead I will tell you to get to work. Get to work? Yes. Um, okay. What's a girl got to do to get a quadrant around here? Your arrival is for you with this. I have just completed something new. Yes, my lord. Bring Lady Maddox to our new creation. She will be the first to use it. Do not let any of the embeciles near it. Of course, my lord. Write this way, my lady. We shall speak in the morning. I look forward to your observations. The scientist knew her host, but only in legend. His name was Tico Brahe. He was strange as the brilliant ones often are. A great horned beast roamed his castle as a pet. He wore a brass nose on his face after losing his in a duel. He was prone to irrationality. What a cruel insults of those who tested his patience. But he was the greatest astronomer the kingdom had ever known. And in a time when the sky was such a mystery, kings would grant many things to those who could tell them its secrets. The king had given Tico Brahe an island. And upon that island he had built a great castle and a great observatory. Kings believed deeply in the power of the stars back then. They believed the stars could tell their future and protect them from harm. They could not know of Tico's plans to bring the heavens crashing down on their heads. Here we are, newly forged and ready for you to do. Whatever it is one does with it. No way. At one moment while I like the pires. Fucking gorgeous. Oh, she's quite beautiful isn't she? Especially in the firelight. Made entirely of brass. She had only seen sketches of it in books until now. Tico braw his legendary brass as a muzzle quadrant. Taller than a tree and pointed the stars. The scientist had no need for poetry or songs of love. What words caused her heart to flutter? 65 centimeters of radius. 48.8 seconds of arc accuracy. Endless roles of parchment. An ocean of ink. I've heard you'll pull the chains here and here to rotate it. Make it go up and down all that. My lord, is anticipating your measurements? I'll set your parchment and such upon the writing table. What else may I get my lady? Could I? Fuck. I've just realized something terrible. Oh dear. There's no coffee in Europe. Yes, you keep asking for this coffee. And we still have no idea what you're talking about. That is so terrible, yep. However, my lord has recently heard of something they have down in Adagon. They're calling it... Shokola. Is that what you mean? No. But that's not bad. Bring me all of your Shokola. Right away, you're strangeness. Okay, Mr. 1577, let's see what you're made of. And in the measurement, in the notation, in the equation, the rest of the world faded away. The scientist was a wanderer. She had been to countless worlds, both fantastical and mundane. But through it all, there was a constant companion, the integer, the angle, the value, the sum. There was one language strung through every disparate world. And in this language, the scientist was its greatest poet. Here we are. I've had the ladies make it all up for you. Oh, yes, I can get used to this. Yes, you have gotten used to it, because you have been here before, Melady. Right. When was that? Several occasions, Melady. I've been here several times. Oh, yes. Why do you think the lord of the ven went all the way to England to procure you a servant? He hired you for me? Indeed he did. But your dress like the court jester. Yes, well, I was hired to be your English-speaking servant, but then I think our lord realized that I'd have nothing to do for the rest of the time, so I made myself useful by being the jester of the court. Not a bad geek, really? You know, free food and wine, a little room above the kitchen, not an abundance of joke tellers amongst the Danes. They do see humor as a foreign import. What the fuck is that? That's your cat, Melady. My cat? Indeed. I have a cat. Yes, you rescued him from down at the water's edge when he was a wee thing, but as it turns out, the little ones do enlarge over time. There's a cat underneath all that hair. Seems to be, yes. What does it eat? Whatever it can get its hands on really. Being an absolute disaster for the mice of the castle. What did I name it? Carl. Carl? Carl of Sagan, you said. But we didn't want to offend the local courtly men and women by giving an official title to a mouse eater, so just Carl, a mixed company. Great. Hello, Carl. He doesn't like to be moved, so you'll have to sleep around him if he's down for the evening. Let's just step up from a booth, regardless. What's that? Nothing. Yep. I just flew in from God knows where, and boy, our my arms tired. I need to get some rest. Jesus Christ, what is that painting? Oh, yes. That is the Lord's grandmother. Is she a werewolf? Hmm, it's not the most flattering painting in the realm to be sure. Is the painting melting? No. I'm afraid that's how she looked, bless her. Was it put here as a joke? Oh, you requested the painting to be hung in your chamber. But why? It's unclear. All of our other guests have asked for it to be moved. They insist it watches them from across the room. Okay. Well, if I asked for it, I guess there's got to be some wisdom to it. I suppose. Was she attacked by an animal? Holy an animal called Timelady. Yes. Oh, word of caution. The lady of the house has got a wind of your sudden arrival, and is very keen to chat. I'm very tired. Oh, that's her now. So I know her. You do. Kirsten is her name. Peach of a girl, really. She won't be offended if I tell her I need to sleep. Right? Oh, she's not easily offended. Great. Kirsten. Hello. I'm so very tired from my journey. I have brought two bottles of wine, and I have tobacco. I love you. Welcome. Please come in. Oh, okay. We're on hugging terms, then. Hello, yep. Oh, good evening, mom. I'll leave you ladies to it. Brighten early in the morning for the Lord of the House, my lady. Sure. How have you been? Confused. I have brought a pipe for myself, but you still do not want one. I don't. No, I bring a parchment instead. You take the paper and you tear it. Oh, all right. Sure. Have a seat. I have been working very hard on my English. I can tell. You sound great. Thank you. I do not learn as fast as the authors have learned. Yet pass, given me lessons. You're so useful that one. Okay, tobacco. Oh, tobacco. It's so strange what you do with it. It's cold. What? A cigarette. Is this what they do in Paris? Probably. They do everything first there. I have finally arrived in Denmark. So you must tell me off your adventures. My adventures? You always have such stories to tell when you come to a Ronnie book. Oh, all right. What have I been up to? Well, I found myself in a distant land called Pasadena. Pasadena. Where is this place? The Americas. The Americas? It really is, Kirsten. What were you doing so far away? Well, there were these three sisters, Tita, Labooza, and Khazi. They had taken over their kingdom after their father had died, but it turns out their father isn't dead. No. Yes, he was faking his death. Anyway, the sisters are now at war with their father over control of the kingdom. Kingdom. It would go... Long story short, I came down on the side of the sisters. So we're trying to figure out a way to kill their dad. You are fighting Kay war? Yeah. You know, warfare is not really my thing, but a lady's got to do what a lady's got to do. So what have you been up to? Nothing such as you. I have been having babies. Gross. Our second arrived in spring. So fierce her name. That's it. Two girls now and Tico's family has begun to make little noises about it. Little noises? They want a boy, of course, but Tico does not care. It is just an excuse for them to hate me. They have always thought of me as the dog in the street. What's that about? What it has always been about? I am not a lady as you are. I am only a commoner. Oh, fuck those people, Kyrsten. What do they know? Yes, I know. Tico is always good to defend me. Last year. Last year he threw a vase at his aunt. Nice. She tried to have him arrested, but you cannot arrest the most respected astronomer in Europe. I love that. Scientists should always be above the law. Hey, speaking of your family, what's up with the painting of Tico's grandmother? Yes. It's rough. You have done us a great service by letting it be hung in your chambers. You're welcome, I guess. Eiffa, may I ask you, because of this war between the sisters and the father, is that why you have come to see my husband? No. Why? He has been saying very strange things in the past days. He says he will crack this guy open. He says he will bring the stars down on their heads. Has he made a weapon? Oh, no, not at all. Don't worry. That's hyperbole. Hyperbole. Hyperbole. Hyperbole. Big talk. Exaggeration. Oh, I see. Can you tell me office work? It is always so helpful to me when you are here. He is very bad at explaining to me what he is doing. Sure. You know, it's actually very important what he's doing. Is it? Yes. It's cool, actually. Check it out. I'm going to give you a little test, okay? All right. So, the moon. How does it revolve around the earth? The moon revolves around the earth because of the Himal cooler. Does that mean celestial spheres? It's spheres. Yes. Okay. Explain that to me. The moon revolves around the earth because it is embedded in the celestial sphere. A sphere that is like glass and the moon is part of it. As this sphere revolves around the earth, the moon moves with it. And what about the rest? Mars, etc. Mars is a part of the Martian sphere that wraps around the earth and the moon sphere. And then everything else, the stars of the heavens are all a part of the final crystal sphere that revolves around the earth and the spheres of the moon and Mars. Good. By past the test? Yes. Excellent. And all of that is wrong. It is? Yes. It's ridiculously wrong and embarrassing. But this is what I was taught. I know. You were taught that as a child because that's what all of Europe believes right now. It's a theory that's supported by a surprising amount of very smart people who should really know better. There is no hemicooler. No hemicooler. Come out here. I'll show you. Come on. I do not enjoy the comet so much. Oh yeah? Why not? Are you not afraid it is going to fall into the sea and destroy us? Here's to get your baby making butt out here. Come on. Very well. Now. If you look up, you can see the long tail, right? Yes. When you look at that, you think that the tail is created by the comet traveling like a snail leaving a trail across the sky. But I just used your husband's fancy new doohickey to measure it more accurately than anyone has ever measured anything in the night sky. And what does it tell you? Right now, everyone in Europe thinks that this comet is in the atmosphere. They think it's a huge thing floating right above where the clouds are. But what we now know is that the comet is way, way out there past Mars. It is in the heavens? Yes. And it's getting closer. And if everything was encased in crystalline, himmled cooler spears, things wouldn't be able to get closer, which means that there are no spheres containing the moon and stars. What is holding them in the sky? Do you want to know a secret? Something I won't even tell your husband? Yes. All right. It's called gravity. It's a force that draws things together, pulls them apart and brings them into balance. And my husband does not know this? Kirsten, nobody's going to know this for about a hundred years. Why do we not tell people about this? Honestly, if we told anyone, do you think they'd believe us? I now know something my husband does not. Feels pretty great, right? So this is why we go to see Frederick tomorrow. Who's Frederick? The King. Wait, what? The King. We will all go to see him tomorrow. Okay. Um. Can I borrow a dress? The scientist had no home and was far from anything familiar. It was nothing new. It had always been this way. As a young girl, she was never at home, even in the safety of her bed. On the playground, she was an oddity. At the party, she was an anomaly. On the library, she was an inventive serpent, coiled and hidden. In every space, always an interloper, a spirit haunting her own life. And like a spirit, the only way to remain more to the world was to find something to disturb. Yep. You screamed, middle. It is colder than the witch's tit in here. Bring more wood for the fire. Very good, sir. Also, Lady Maddox is waiting. Centaurine. So, it's called coffee. It comes from a tree in the tropics. First, you rose the beans. I have no time to hear about coffee again. Okay. I'm just saying, if you want me at peak performance... I have seen your calculations from last night. And? It is confirmed. The comet was exactly what we needed. Soon the world of celestial spheres will be no more. Cool. Now what happens? It is time. Ooh. That's ominous. Time for what? Time to unveil for the king what I have been working on here at Uranibork. Oh yeah? The Tikhonnik system. Sounds like fun. Fun? It will not be fun. What do you mean? You're about to go in front of the king of Denmark and make fun of Tolemie. A lot of people don't know this about me. Making fun of Tolemie is one of my favorite ways to pass the time. Hm. What? Are you afraid the king's going to reject it or something? Of course, he will not reject it. The king is an idiot. He will not understand what I am talking about. His advisors, the little piglets that follow him around, they will stick their little piglet noses into my tea-reason cast doubt on them. Oh, don't worry about it. We can take those guys. It is not just Tolemie we will attack. It is also Copernicus. Ah. To hell with both of them. I see your comportment has not changed since last we met. I like to keep it real, my lord. This time you have arrived alone. Where is your traveling companion? My traveling companion? Yes. The Russian. Russian. Yes? His name escapes me. The Russian. He had to take care of some Russian business. Kaviar. Some Kaviar business. I see. All for the best. I will require your full attention. After the presentation to the king, we will be surrounded by skeptics. We will need to defeat them all. With swords? What? No. No, not with swords. With our ideas. What the fuck do you mean? It just sounds cooler that way. Oh, don't mind me. Just an arm full of logs here. Yep. We are going to see the king. Are you coming? We will not bring a jester into the king's court. Yes, I'm afraid that's bad for me, lady. Why not? After we're done, you will not be the biggest fool there. Am I right? Hi, fat. Hi. I'll bring the fool if you must. It doesn't matter. Nice. Yep. Go upstairs and put on your fancy pantaloons. We believe shortly. We must wait for Kirsten to try on every dress she owns and then return to the first when she has tried on. It is infuriating. Yes. I'm afraid the mistress of the manor is a nervous little church. Mouse will be going to see the king. Why? What's the big deal? We are going to see the king. Yeah. Of Denmark. And so the scientists set forth with Tiko Brahe toward the castle of the king, carrying with them a secret weapon. The Titanic system, a new way of imagining the universe. With this system, Tiko Brahe would destroy the old ways and make his island the center of the scientific world. And he would do so with the scientist at his side. The scientists got a strange pleasure from this journey. In so many lands she had visited, scientists were scorned, ignored, persecuted. But in this land, they were given islands, castles, wealth, respect. It was so intoxicating that the scientist was able to ignore one very important fact. That the Titanic system, Tiko's great weapon that would bring down the heavens, was completely wrong. When the king enters, remember to keep your head bowed until he sits upon the throne. How am I going to know when he sits on the throne? If my head is bowed, I do not know. How do you do it? I will not be allowed in the court of the king. What? Why? She is not my wife. What? Have we not discussed this? No. I am a commoner and my husband is a nobleman. The initials will not allow us to marry. Seriously? We are allowed to live together and to have children, but the crown will not recognize us as married. You guys have two kids already. And people have more. Got willing. Got willing? So, this whole time you two have been holed up at your Aniborg living hillbilly style? What is hillbilly style? What do you expect me to do? So I want to find some noble woman who skin this like chalk and who speaks only of topiaries. This is the woman I want. I do not have time to change Denmark only the world. Hey, you are not going to catch me defending marriage. I mean honestly, it is kind of hot, right? Look at you too. My parents are quite upset about us. They insist that he has hypnotized me with his power over the stars. Hasn't he? No, perhaps a small amount. It's the brass nose that does it, right? Gives him that bad boy look. And what's a view? You have arrived this time without your companion. Right. About that. Russian guy? Yes. We had assumed he was from Russia because of his name. His name? Casper is not a Russian name. Casper? Really? Is not a... sure. He is Russian. Do you not... Trapful with him any longer? Well, he's very busy with business. Russian business. He's the inventor of vodka. Really? Yes. Don't tell the Polish. I hope he will return with you for next time. He seems to make you very happy. I... I know. Love, Tik Ho, Brahi, Royal Astronomer of the Kingdom of Denmark. Hey, we have got an audience. Yes, from time to time, the king will make a spectacle out of these presentations. I despise it. Come on, it will be fun. What the fuck is this? That doesn't look like the king. It is not. Of course. Perhaps there is some confusion. My audience was meant to be with the king. And the king offers his apologies. In his wisdom he has brought me from the collegios so that I may review your findings before representing them to his highness. Review my findings. Of course you understand. No distance is too far to travel for the sake of our sacred art. I eagerly await the unveiling of your series, Tiko. I am sure the king will be equally impressed as I am. Should they be presented to him. Why would they not be presented to him? Tiko, I am sure you understand. I am only here to ensure that the king's time is not wasted. That his time is not wasted. You dare to insinuate that I would waste the king's time. I insinuate nothing. I am here at the pleasure of your king. I will not be treated like one of your students, Christoph. Are we not all students in the eyes of our Lord? Do not give me your fucking. Okay, cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering cheering Are you talking about calendars? Never mind. People on my theories to be approved. Approved? Wait, wait, wait. This is great, actually. This is not great. No, check it out. That's Christoph Clavius. He is going to be the official mathematician to the Pope one day. The king is obviously scared that your new system is going to make him look like a fool. So he's brought in Christoph Clavius to run interference. Clavius is the poster child for the Tola Maex system. If you can beat him in this debate that's about to happen, with everyone watching, all those courtly lads and ladies up there are going to start gossiping that Tiko just destroyed the Tola Maex system. You'll be the talk of Europe in like a week. We're skipping to the final boss right now. I do not understand half the things you say most of the time, but this I understand. OK. Bring Kirsten into the room. Oh, yeah? Yes. You brass nose little sweetie. Yep. Malady? Bring Kirsten in. They're not going to like that, Malady. Hey, let's talky more do-y. All right. I'm going to roll out the big guns. Very well. Is there a problem, Tiko? One moment. I object to this treatment. But there are more important things than my objections. I appreciate your understanding. I present to you a new model of the heavens. Ta-da. Who is this woman? She is my sister. I'm his sister. From every far away. Sophia. Sophia is my name that I was born with. Very well. Please explain this new model. We sit now torn between two worlds. We have the old way the Toleméic system. The heavens are encased in crystalline spheres within which they rotate. And then there is the new way of Copernicus, which holds the sun at the center. A seductive theory from Copernicus, but one that does not hold up under scrutiny due to our inability to observe any stellar parallax. I present as a bridge between the two the Ticonic system. The earth remains stationary at the center of the universe with the sun and moon orbiting around it. But all the other planets, Mercury, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn orbit around the sun as it makes its yearly circuit of the earth. This preserves the views of Copernicus while correcting for its obvious deficiencies. Above our heads now is the Great Commit. As you will see in our observations, the Commit is not in the clouds above our heads, but it is in fact traveling through the stars, traveling through the celestial spheres you insist in case the earth. Surely, if these spheres existed, this great visitor above our heads would destroy them and the universe entirely. Yet here I stand. For eons we have clung to the fairytale of Toldemi, terrified of an open sky. No longer the skies are open, the heavens ours to explode. Hey, Apha, what am I doing here? It's pretty adorable. Tico wanted to show off for his wife. Oh, also, side note, I'm Tico's sister, my name is Sophia. What? Our daughter's name is Sophia. And it means so much to me that you named your daughter after me? Truly. I must confess, this is troubled me deeply. You preserve the earth's rightful place at the center, yet you surrender the ancient architecture of the spheres. How can the planets orbit the sun, while the sun itself circles our earth? Do you not see the philosophical absurdity? Absurdity? Yeah, ha ha. Yet? Hey, Manot. Tönder model. Yes, Manot. Witness the elegance of rotation in my model. Your model would have Mars passing closer to the sun than the earth itself, somehow passing through your precious spheres. You can see that with my new model, I have solved this problem. The observations are indeed admirable, but they offend philosophy. You forget what Aristotle has taught us. Each heavenly body requires its own sphere. The sun has its sphere. Mars another. Venus yet another. Each in perfect circular motion. Mars system tangles these spheres impossibly. Aristotle was wrong. Listen to them. Listen to how they are terrified. How much of our world is from us here, now, and how much is from a time before? The past makes life suffer so. These are not spheres that encase us. They are chains. We must break them despite our fear of freedom. Fluid heavens. I see the movements in your planet, Tiko, but I also see your movements. You claim that Copernicus is wrong as you should for the Copernican model is heresy, yet what you have brought us today is half heresy. Just a half step onto hell. Make it also easier to shove us in completely. Scripture places earth at the center, and my observation confirms it. But the planets retrograde motions. Their varying brightness, the phases of Venus I have observed, all these demand that they circle the sun. My system places us not hand in hand with Satan, but with God. It is the marriage of Scripture and science, and it should be celebrated as such. The current system works with only a slight adjustment of the calculations. You do not mean adjustment. You mean this door. You claim your system is sacred, yet you must twist and bend it to make it fit within the world of observable science. Not as God feel about such things, do you think? My system is elegant and simple. It requires none of your machinations. Implicity is not truth. The ways of God are often complex and mysterious. And the Ubership God or Tollamy. Show me where inscripture it reads, God then made Tollamy, and he made him in the light of perfection. Tollamy was a man as you and I are, and men are flawed. I tell you, I have looked into the eye of God and he has shown me this perfection. Who now goes against the word of God? Now we're talking. Yep, go make me some popcorn. Make what? That was dope! Yep. Where's the booze in this limo? I'm afraid we have no embodiment, Smilitey. Yep. Are you trying to tell me you have no wine up there? I'll send it down. Excellent. I cannot believe I was standing in the court of the king. That's not the court of the king. That's our court now. We own that place. They all looked at me as if I were a sheep running around, but I did not care. Was thrilling. You are amazing up there to go. If Germans were capable of showing emotion, clavius would totally have been crying. I was so proud of you, husband. You showed such bravery. They will be coming for me now. What do you mean? I have delivered a great injury to the Tollamyic system. Every scientist in scholar in Europe has been made the fool of. They will try and discredit me in any way they can. They will crawl all over my equations like ants on honey. Your equations are rock solid. You've got nothing to worry about. I must strive for more accuracy. Nobody has more accurate measurements than you. It's your whole thing. They will try to destroy me. I have never been more in danger than I am now. Husband, you go. You're being paranoid. You do not know them as I know them. We are in danger. Jesus Christ, this fucking 16th century footwear! Kitty, kitty, kitty. Nothing? Oh, there you are. Good evening, Carl. How's the mouse murder going? I know what you're thinking, Carl. You're thinking, Ava, shouldn't you be trying to figure out a way to get back to the diner right now? Why are you wasting time with this Danish nonsense? Well, the thing is, Carl. I am an ideas person. Not really the other thing person. Besides, it's fucking late Renaissance Denmark. What am I going to do? Make a particle collider out of horse hair? Besides, I'm not a maker of things. I am a thinker of things. I think things, and it makes people make things. It's a very powerful feeling, Carl. You know, you're making excuses. Okay, Carl, I cannot stand this painting of Tiko's grandmother anymore. It's 100% a nightmare factory. They're not going to mind if I take it down and make it face the wall, right? Right. Let's go onto cryptid. You're killing the vibe in here. Hello? What is this? Carl, are you hiding contraband behind the paintings again? This doesn't belong in 16th century Denmark at all. Hello, gorgeous. So, I thought to myself, where in the world could I hide this thing where only I would find it? And then I realized the hideous portrait of grandma Brahe. What the fuck, Eva? So, what you are holding in your hand right now? Well, Leaf made it, so of course it's a few things. I can record little messages on it. The little screen there will give you a comprehensive map of the night sky. And also, it's a signal-focusser. Still got your space, Pager? Shit. Catch the Pager to this device and it'll amplify the signal and focus it so it can be aimed at a particular location. Okay, then what? How the fuck do I button this thing? You're doing fine. Goddamnit, every time we come here, I look like a fucking Danish horse job. That's not a thing that people look like. What are you doing? I'm leaving a message for myself. Oh, you really think that's going to work? I thought of it. Yeah, yeah. Okay, why can't some of these parties be business casual? It's all I'm saying. Don't be stupid. You know you love the moose. I do love the moose. I know. It's majestic. Okay, hurry up. We're already late. Figure out your buttons. So, anyway, attach your Pager to this thing, aim the signal with Tiko's quadrant. If you aim it at the Sun, the signal will get amplified by several factors. Then you just wait. Simple enough. And Casper's out of ear shot now, so we can have some real talk. I already know where your brain is going right now because your brain is my brain. I don't know why we're like this either, sweetie. I just don't know. You're holding the key to go home right now, and yet your brain went to a totally different place, didn't it? Yes. In case you're wondering, you can aim the signal anywhere you want to aim it. Or, not at all. And here's some reassurance. Just between us, girls. Yes, he'll forgive you. In some kingdoms, the scientist had another name. She was called the Disappearicist. As the legend goes, she would, without warning, suddenly vanish, never to be heard from again. She found it to be a fitting name, not because she truly had the power to vanish into thin air. But because in all her travels across so many lands, she had often wondered, was I ever really there? What do you think, Carl? Home? You probably love that I'm here. You probably think I should bury this thing in the ground. Shit. Ava, I need a little more time, okay? Carl, I'll be right back. Tiko! Evening, moose. Ava, it is very late. What is it? I figured it out. Tiko! I am currently conducting a very thorough search for my third child beneath the bedsheets of my husband. Oh, oh, sorry. Right. Okay, here. Tell him this. This will get him in the mood. I figured out how to get more accurate readings. We're going to bury it in the ground. There we walk in the ground. The whole fucking observatory. Oh, yeah. Mom? Yep. Where have you been? You have left me alone in the street. Oh, don't trouble yourself, Mom. You blend in perfectly with the common folk. Especially all the way over here in Amsterdam. Now on those, who you are, I told the both, and your name was Mavis Bacon's. I could have been abducted. Oh, a thousand apologies, Mavis. We're not often in the low country, so I thought I'd do some quick shopping. Where is Lady Meddix? She is still in the pop-up. All this time. She is negotiating with the builders. Why did we have to come all the way to Amsterdam to simply hire builders? Remember, we're trying to be more stealthy these days as the Lord of the House feels as though we're being watched. Also, if you want something built well, always ask the Dutch. This whole country was constructed out of a swamp. Pratni tegen nekhert. All zik in simpel apak islwilder. So ik met jermudr chan pratin. Galak islu jennu. Oh, go shove your thumb in a dake. Hey guys, why were you screaming at those men? I was negotiating. They're going to do it. They just needed a little smacking around. They sounded very angry. What if they follow us? They agreed to do it. They just like yelling. Besides, I told them my name was Ravenstromdans. What name did you pick? She's a Mavis Bacon, Smiley. They are going to build this observatory in the ground, even though no one has done this before. Yes, Mavis. They like the challenge. Very well. Can we please go home now? I believe people are looking out of strangely. Well, with a name like Mavis, what did you expect? Aifa, we need to hit a bakery first. Have you ever had speculas? Come on. How have you learned to speak Dutch? Oh, there was this guy, Brian Pasley. We use the same shorthand so he would always be taking a little looky-loo at my notes. I hate that. And since murder is illegal, I had to come up with another solution. I discovered this shorthand called Croca. It was really obscure, so I figured it was the best way to protect my work. But it's Dutch shorthand, so before I learned the shorthand, I had to learn Dutch. I don't understand you. Exactly my point. Aifa, can we stop please? I thought you wanted to go. May I speak with you? What's up? You have been acting strangely. I always act strangely. And for since we have returned from the King's castle, you are... Is something wrong? Nothing's wrong. I'm just excited. Aifa. Yep. Head down to the docks and get our boat ready, would you? Oh, would you get me some stroke waffles? Sure. Very well. What is wrong? I have a decision to make. What decision? Going one way or the other? Can you tell me more than just that? No, not really. It's hard to explain. So, rather than make your decision, you have stayed with us in Denmark? I... I like it here. I also enjoy it when you are here. I understand Tico much better when you are here. I wish for you to stay, but... I do not think that you would be happy if you stayed. People like me and like your husband, we get obsessed with things. And then there's also people that come into your life and they... It's hard sometimes to have obsessions and people. People in your life. And this is the decision you must make. Yes. My husband does obsess, but he also has me. I don't know how to do that. It's been a long time since I've had a girlfriend. There's a version of me out there somewhere who would be happy here. I hope she shows up one day. Asked do I? But first, we're going to get these Dutch motherfuckers to dig a big hole in the ground. For weeks, the scientists watched as the men dug into the earth to construct the subterranean observatory. To an outsider, the idea seemed foolish. Why dig a hole to look at the stars? But beneath the earth, viewing the stars through portal would keep the wind from milling the instruments and block out the light from the nearby city, going deeper to look farther. As she watched the workers from her balcony, the scientists could see something on the horizon. Not a planet, not a star, but a decision. Come in. Hi. I am pregnant again. Gross. It is a boy this time, I can feel it. That sounds like science. If it is a boy, what should I name him? A poofy thing. Apha. Another monster. Apha. I know this now. Say congratulations for having a baby. Congratulations for having a baby. The workers are almost done. They should finish up today. Are you certain that this will protect Tico from criticism? Numbers always win in the end. There are more numbers and better numbers. That hole in the ground will do the trick. And then, when it is done, you will have to make a decision. Yes. I seem to speak more to you than you to me. Do you wish to speak to me about your mysterious decision? Or do you wish to be mysterious? I wish to be mysterious. Apha. I do not know where you travel when you leave us. I make up stories in my mind. Many heroic stories of Ava in the world. I will travel to your next adventure. Will you always remember that there is a woman surrounded by children on the island of Fien? And that she is your friend? Yes. Perhaps if my baby is a girl, I will name her Ava. It's going to be a boy. But thank you anyway. Good evening, Your Majesty. Good evening. Out for late night observations. Hi! The builders have finished their work, but they have said to wait a week for the stones to settle. I promise to tiptoe. We run from. We run to. Which is it for you then? Always coming and going from your Raniborg. When it's time for me to go, it's time for me to go. Of course. You have been here for only weeks and you have transformed my research. Just think what you could accomplish if you stayed. I don't think Denmark is the place for me. Not here. Not to Raniborg, not Denmark, not Europe, anywhere. Just think what may happen one day when the lady matrix finally decides to plant her feet upon the ground. That's not where my feet belong. What is it that scares you? Nothing scares me. There is one thing. It is this. To stay. Why? You want to know why? Please. Your Ticonic system. What does my model of the universe have to do with this? It's wrong. You have seen my calculations. You have seen your calculations. You have put Earth at the center of the universe. That is correct. Copernicus is right. You know Copernicus is right. It's the Sun, not the Earth. Then why put the Earth at the center of the universe? Why tell the world how the universe works when you don't believe it? I believe much of it. That's not good enough. It was a compromise. Between the old system and the new. Why? Why compromise? You could have been the greatest astronomer in Europe. I am the greatest astronomer in Europe. I am also a nobleman who fell in love with the daughter of a blacksmith. My family must be protected from scorn, from ridicule. That. That right there. That's why I leave. That's why I don't plant my feet on the ground. You are afraid of the choices you would make. Should you care for a nutter? This is why you leave. This is why you have arrived at the center of the universe. This is why you leave. This is why you have arrived here without your Russian friend. Ah! You care nothing for your life. Only for the secrets of the cosmos. Yes. There are worlds to be known other than the ones above your head. Not for me. Then, goodbye. I wish you well. Goodbye, Tiko. Into the night the scientists surveyed the sky for one last time, making notations for Tiko's flawed vision of the universe. She hated to do it, but it was her parting gift. It was time for her to move on, time to make a choice. The cosmos was not the only thing she calculated that night. On one side, safety, home. On the other side, the beyond. She was frustrated at how difficult the choice had become. Goddamnit, fucking Inc. Invent the pencil, Europe! There. There you go, Tiko. There are a bunch of measurements for your deeply flawed model. Shove it up your Danish butt. Wow. Look who decided to join the party. Hello, Carl. Has the construction disturbed the mice? Carl, if you've come to stop me, I'm afraid you'll need more than some claws and all that hair. I'm afraid my mind's made up. You may want to stand back. There we go. Just past Leo. Now what would be funny is if Leaf fucked this thing up, and it doesn't have a name. I'm afraid it's not. I'm afraid it's not. Now what would be funny is if Leaf fucked this thing up, and it doesn't work at all. Wow. Carl, I'd ask you why I'm like this, but you probably don't know either. As she waited, the scientist thought of a man. Somewhere in Europe, right at that moment, there was a man walking along the road, wandering from town to town, telling his story. That man was named Jordano Bruno. Bruno had many ideas that were outside of his own time, that the universe was infinite, that it was filled with billions of worlds just like our own, and that all in those worlds there may be creatures no different, or very different from us. Bruno was obsessed with his vision of the universe, and sought as his destiny to walk the land and tell anyone who would listen about the vastness of the cosmos, and the great continuum we were all a part of. At night, Bruno would close his eyes and envision his universe, his feet leaving the earth, rising up from his earthly prison, in joining the synchronicity of all things. He was able to do this, even when his ideas were condemned as heresy, and the final years of his life were spent in a heretics prison. Bruno had no family to speak of, no loved ones, only his vision. He was unencumbered. He had no one to consider when he rose at night to join the ebb and flow of the starbees. The scientist had always seen herself as the same, unencumbered, free, but of late, she had begun to feel something. Something pulling her back to the earth, keeping her from rising into her vision of the universe. Something keeping her from the secrets she sought. What is holding on to me, she thought. What is this hand that grasps me, holds me to the earth, keeps me from the mysteries I long for? And then to her surprise, the scientist looked back to see there was no force that held her, that the hand that grasped her and tethered her to the earth was her own. The scientist clung to something beloved, something unnamed. It was the last thing keeping her from the great revelations. He is going to be so mad at me, Carl. The scientist had never seen a man like me. He was so mad at me, he was so mad at me. You rang, Doctor? The scientist let go. 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Jessica Gigoma, Cabernet Corsair, Torekul, Jenny the Bear, Gerr, Bellranger, Sardine Thorn, Treetch, Josie Jones, Mr. Fibblis Very Cross, How to Potato, Dr. Mojo postulates the endless, endlessly splintering off as Bethany and Bert Bert's caboose, until its endless all the way down. Dave and Buster server manager, Bethany's Amonti Christos,! time traveler convention date, L.A. woman the phoenix rising, new name God, no, not him. Jeff Andrew, Sure, Jeff Andrew, Miss Luan, a British woman with cute dogs, Kapo Noodles, Shbizzy Tushes, Luna Nova, Nicholas Griffith, Matt Grigsby, Justin Smollen, Riku 31, Craig Dundee, the name's Knight, with a K, Astral Sea, Ikelmi Picklemi, Ticklemi 2, Guy with the Chops, Sam, Mitchell Yee, Bagel Knife, In Melda and Scott, Ryan Kay, Devon77777 has been my fave verbal stem for months. Nate, Forklift, Lifts Forks, Forklift, Vince M, Brick Brick, Chip, Radio Free Relia, Violin Loves Midi, Brian Pasley, Subawasa, Grena, Piston Whip, Captain Ducky, Blitz Bell, Lasersaw, of the Shreveport Lasersaw's? Our overhead is way too high with all of these names, and please make sure to turn in all receipts, love, Josh from Accounting. Setsuma, I can't believe it's not Bethany, Coach Shane of Toad Suck Central, Go Cranes, Cole Arthur, Lego Quassal, Cassad, Norwin Murgler, Chase and her Army of Turtles joined the Bethany War. The star-set messengers want to know if you've written that for Page SA on why you don't think about bugs. Joe Kuppup, Weebie Chopin, Brock Ali, Icy Fish, the hacker known as Ivy DeBurb, Edwin McDonald, a feisty-esque chickadee, poultry landmine, the scrappy poet, Jenny the cryptid paladin, Maverick artist, shit, Dick, Basil in their tea, waiting to gossip with David, Ainsley-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay-ay, Angnor, ATB, Kiwi Lovely Beed, Zoe, Dr. Professor Bethany, Wethany Lethany, Wufy McClubvenberger, MD-PhD Esquire, and that's not pretentious at all, uh-am. Is looking for a cure to the Bethany mutation that the Society of Bethany's began the war with, so many years ago. Michelle Spurgeon, Jack the Sleepy, Garrett Henderson, Tweet, Still Trapped, But I've stopped asking why the freezer is, I am, Wee Chill. Farge, Whiscoe Teach, Scott A. Snellgrove, Give Pea's a Chance, Samalema Ding Dong, Sarah. That's it, just Sarah. Ricardo Galamba, Carries Crafty Cloking Devices LLC, hashtag, Wee Vimuff Gossamer, D-Rinsure, Penny The Wonder Dog, and Bucky Von Buck Buck, Kin Tex O'Ridian, Cherry Applebee, Medium Rare Extra Toasted Bun, Tofer Heart The Gay, Saucy Cesar, Belt, Aspen Is A Verge, Fanboy, Mick J. 67, Ava's favorite My Little Pony pencil Jota's slap into a slim gym. Is this thing recording? Mr. and Mrs. Drifter, Representative of the Alaska Midnight Burger Tummy Time Chapter, Nathaniel Lee Industries, Sir Dreadmore Spieba, Is Wondering If Bethany Like's Nightbreak Fist, Lord Entropy, Buck Buck Motherfucker, Everybody's Favorite Clown Splotchy, Pinstrike Algorithm, Kosher Stake, Gabriel Strife would like to remind you that it's Gabriel not Gabrielle, and would also listen to a six-hour shift notes. Alyssa's shiny pants, God-Dore Coles for Aid, Muscle's Fittits, Arnold Rumspringer, The Demise of the Temple of Bethany's. Alan Bergland says, Hi, Mom, Kitty McSkull, Ravenström Dan's hapless novelist passenger, of the dimensionally impermanent and temporally incontinent bookshop, Cafe the Wild-Eid Prophet. Tessa Craig, perfectly personalized disaster, Richard Schofeld, Jim Turner, Lux Luminos, Javidonero, Big Chunk, Gideads, Bingo Sticky Rice, Boom Boom's Wooden Leg, Will the real Muadib please stand up? Kitty Cat and Lollipop can't get enough of this. Jillian C, Yudon 96, Vingerman, Not Franklin, Tracy Baby, Leia, Is that the Chris Hancock who traded weekly soup for the use of my kitchen table? A singular nightbird, Bethany reading in a green field. I am the lizard, frantically firing fleshet guns, Bumble-Fay, Mr. Epsilon, The Mothman, Longhaired Matt, DJ, Lenny Harris, Robert W, Breelzebub, Cresimera, Jessalarin, Mayday Hoops, Myth and Stitch Embroidery loves the Muclewains, Lululu-Luis, Dullio, The Brew Crew Family, Bert Ruba, Your Most Benevolent Lord and Master of the Multiverse, Jeffrey George, Exquisite Wemsey, Ellie, Don't Tariff Me Bro, Oopsy, Evelyn, The Wizard Mousses holds out their cat for you to pet, Gremlor, Existential Pancakes, Gee-Eny-Woboom, Arent Popsicle Stick, M. Horowitz, Isle of Refuge, Jack Spiders Mom, Bubble-But Bethany has Banana Breath, Lama Fresh, Jair the Benevolent Destroyer, Val-T-L Heller, Rev. the Red Beard Wizard, Bert Bird and the Funky Bunch, Corora the Twelfth, Shhh, Just Listen, Damien Fletter-John, Zam-Con, Bethany II, Electric Buggaloo, Welcome to the Quan Pound, Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen Pen. Mr. Muchacho Kaisershanetsal is bringing an anchovy pizza to Lars on Omega Station. The wolves in the deep freeze say, Ah, whoo! Julie Hammond, Sanctuary Moons No. 2 Fans, Simpson, Jason, Alice Lewis, Simply Amy Sue, I Pushed Her, Bethany That Is, Even older Liz, Mick Barakat, Grap Pen Feather, Citicandruidic Scientist, Astro, Your Friendly Neighborhood Android, Moonlight Zombie Fox, Old Doc Racy, The Midnight Missionary, Out There, Somewhere Looking For You, Rotten Ronnie, Sleeps and Grandma panties, Eldritch Ender, Skull Monkey, Artist Dragonborn, Big Be Garage, Bill Zangadolester, Walking Homenas, Hello Big List, I'm Dad, Now let Joe get some rest, It's Time for Bed, Muffins, Spacewives, Chad Hatter, Space Mage in the War Against the Bethany's, Captain Jack Harkness Once Peter the Robot, Oreo, Oreo, No Wait, Pineapple, Actually Never Mind, Oreo, Tell Your Cat I Said, Bzzz, Bzzz, Banana Mnaz, A Corgi Called Kibble, Cuddly Crackin, Life's A Load Studio, And His Wife Meganeator, Axel Light, Sarge The Bard, Seminity, Rielthan, LL Coolment James, Travis Reberticus, The Other Original Catalan, Ken Daddy, Celestiani, The Jaded Umbra, Get Slightly Less Jaded, As Peace, Once Again, Returns to the Land. Leah Isadi, Millie Was Taken, Honus, Ben Camp, Shanman Man Man, Karma Karma Camillion, Kinran, Wishes Everyone a Healthy New Year, Wabajak, Lady Bethany, AKA Mrs. Turkey Spit, Zoe and her Army of Mice, Briar Long Lost, Daniel, Sammy the Baby Seal, I have always relied on the kindness of diners. Dr. Boudiologist the Glutes Doctor, The Hood's Pocket Electricians Union Reminds you that We're always here to check your shorts. Tobias Ewing, Thank you for pressing too, Your Anglophone Emotional Support Canadian Request Will be processed in the Order in which it was received. Queen Serly Jess, RIP Lance McLean, You Would Have Loved Midnight Burger, Adam Tokeloved, Dr. Bitchcraft, Sassy Cat the Space Fixin, Claire Rock, Jekka, Arrows DeGod, The Size 2 Fish You've Been Looking for, EoKai, Borja, Natasha Without Borus, Spiders Arcodley, Lafayette LaZonya Lovers 1, The Main Immortal thinks it should be Kendadios, Chil, Neal, Sin City Scuba Steve, Pollywag, Mikaela White, Alaina Pickle, Wilbur Winklewright, Ristwatch Wrangler of West Wistachir, Finally Spots Red Nell, As The Carnage Cleares, Professor Thaddeus Snookham's The 8th, Mr. Grin, Glenn Petrovsky, This Moment of Silence So Joe Can Catch His Breath Is Brought to You by Rick Tyler, Silence! Elizabeth Hammond, Cheapcon, Yeah, You Heard Me, The Real Cheapcon, Except No Emotations, Steam Vision, Conductor of the Interdimensional Time Spanning Hype Train, Dave Herald, Wisecube, Dirty Dipper Fuss Butt, And The Piggy Runt, Bro Mine, Pronounced Bro Mine, Maine Hamdenga, Mother of Pearl, Fiona Nell owns Lave's 18-inch Peter, Seal Face, Rigger Mortis, Megan's Things, Things Megan Makes, Cory Elaine, Trebek's Reject, Profit of the God of the Mucklewains, Leaf Loves Laser Guns, Left Lying Lackadaisically by LaBouza, Echneus Burp, Darth Ox, This Breath Pause is Brought to You by Michelle K's Wish for Joe to Catch His Breath, Aaron Arnold, 50 Bananas a Week, Mama Mander B. Ross and Slunt Master Jay, Al Pacalips, God, is that you know it's... Butters, Elliott Paints, Undead Akira, The Lord Rev'rend, Porgato's Packs, Unselling Wizard, Ryan, Thomas's 10-10-10-10 Staffel Tippers Treading treacherously tantamount to telling totalitarian trope termination tales, The Lovely Lara Lovely, Kith Gamgee, Sam Wise's Flamencusen, Ariel, Jeremy The Ruler, Goachy, Hair Hawks, Jacob Mitchell, Swooning for Verge, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crow Hill, How to Get Jack from John, Flesh Witch, Writing a Flesh Mek through the Multiverse, Scrubs, Just Some Guy from Adalite, Nymed Ryan, Remmy, The Panda Crew, Melody Prime, Beard O'The Wizard, Captain Benjamin Hawkeye Pierce, The German Short Hair Pointer from Nashville, wants to tell his mom, Maddie, that he says, Woof! Wiskard, It sounds like Bethany, but the Beth is silent. Marissa the Ghost, Local Snowplows in your area are dying to meet you. Brotherford B. Chesterfield, and his Dapper Companion Winchester, Chesher Corgi, Stray Cat, Old Kelsey No Shoes, Zoldia, Dizzy Flame, We Serve Everyone, Eventually, Sasha, Beth and Alan Van Gillis, Langston North, Slyfox, AKA Breir Rabbit, Pants Darts Champion, The Constantly Lost Geographer, Timothy A. Otis, Chance Once You To Know, He Cares, Wolfstark, Adrian Vance, Elliott, Natalie Bartlett, Rory Yinn, Mooby the Golden Caff, Kirion, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Aaron Elizabeth, Kay Narcotics, Solomon Price, a daydream you won't escape, Angela Sanchez, Ava M, but before 85, AKA Shimmelbach, The Christmas Whale. Kaiju Somalye says, Rest in Peace, Lala, Lump and Cinnamon, Three Long Time Members of the Yoss Poss Capthread, We Love You Always, Silicorvis, Jesus Garcia, JP the IT Guy, Candyman Fight, Sandwich, John Peters, you know, The Farmer, Barkley on the Holodeck, Dapper Dad, SCP-049, O Magis, Raven the Dreamer, TK Turtle King, Mike M, Space-based lasers, Captain B and Lady G with their swabs, Marla Madame Lotus, still especially loves Finley. Mr. Steam Wave, My friend, the thick, battle unicorn, reminds the Bethany's to be nice. Hup challenge! Dream Founder, I'm your Huckleberry, Elizabeth T, Ty Ty the Wonder Hamster, and her dear darling Duke, Grand Pagus, Bumbastical Kimlicor, Coco Yumi is painting ponies, Hugga Muffin, Bigfoot of Doom, DL, Annie Atkins, Crandy Man the Pug Whisperer, Garot, Arquette said to tell you, Meow. Ya boy of indeterminate origin, Benjamin Ortiz, Mr. Afrog, President, Pop Rock Quick Sand, The Beneyapper, AKA Croc, The Pot of Taters. Mr. Squizzle Sizzle Sizzle Fizzle, The Herendus, Apologizes for conspiring in the Bethany War, Invites for Tea, Are being sent now. Abanaso, Trina Ward, Adelor, Trans Space Dinosaur, Spooky Spader Storytime, William Kent, Andy, The McDimmies from your local dimension, Exhave your killingsworth, Lane Kiffin is a hoe, Mimetic Hygenist, Rogue Art, Aaron Star Joshua Damian, and Sentinel of the Star System, Claude Declaws, Spunky Dan, Rachel Seymour, Chis Alfridge, The Bullheaded Professor, Alexander LaRoc, Has brought legioteen to assist the Bethany's in their survival war, Viva Revolucione, Ed Boy, Ryan Finnelli, Jonathan Kay, Pearl Null, Another Monster, Petabyte Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Chib's 1012, Scotty Oats, Byrotron 95, Dan's Granted Clemancy, by his Overlord Parents, Dan's Break! Spikou, Remember Nightcourt? Wonder if it holds up? Simply Tony, It will always be Finnelli's Workhole to me, If you know, you know, Gabriel Castillon, Whom what when, Where and why, Is what all the Throgronis say, While listening to Midnight Burger? Nico DeGio goes great on Midnight Burgers, A drum major, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, Sir Party Animal, Byrotron, Gaby, And a drum major, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, Sir Party Animal, Byrotron, And a drum major, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' To Connie's bar, And a trapeze artist walkin' Lucas Martin, Little Debbie Cupcake Terran says, Hey, Oreos are rabbit. Sandlewood Mountain offers peace For your soul. Wemzical Thuckery, Megan with an H. Hey, it's warranty lady. Look, I've been thinking. Maybe it's best if we, you know, So other people for a bit. I need more. Patricia the Time Lord. Is it, though? Mango Kanasur, Brady Bug and the quirky jester. The Big Moose demands justice For Betty and Mallow. That old glory coal. Janelle Mjane's catbutler. Oshin Lou, Alex Berry, Andrew Oken, A Symmetrical Exile. Churo Cat, The Sun God. Eliza travels the universe. Alex Spence, Dr. D. Bird Gloss weather And Mrs. Dubopt away birdgloss weather. Want to say hello to the whole S' weather family. I lost my galaxy breaches in a game of Pantsdarts. Angry Ron, Dominic Caesar, Durkidub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Klickspring, The Wild Dissle, Most likely Cass, James Harlow, Saw the Claw, And named it Bethany. The sweet planetary aroma Of Fiona's grilled cheese sandwiches. Jasmine James, Dr. Cabreant, Also known as Omni, Thanks Waffle Chateau. Colorado Beekeeper, Fruitcake, Anatha, Zandria, Jennifer Colkins, Guacamoleo, Midday Burger, Don Parks, Throat Goat666. Oh my god, My dad found out about my Patrion name. Princess Leia, Sonic Boy 99, Would like a Bethany but Sandwich, But will settle for a fish in a bag. Prime Freak, Protector of the Scottish Realm, Little Lord Stevie Pie, Droid Pirate Finley, And his Rubik's Little Lord Stevie Pie, Droid Pirate Finley, And his Rubik's Pairit, Droid Pirate Finley, And his Rubik's Pairit, Stuck in a pit of Skittles, Sea Squatch, Deflator Mouse, Tony Piacarsky, Adrian R, The Devil from Table 12, Javier, Kenberdurp, Crazy Thadley, The Harbinger Pulse R, Cremulus is just happy to be here, The Twisted Twixter, The Rural Jurer, Is a massive fan, Fake Queen, Oop, Shnorn to the Probability Demolition Expert, Showtime, CR Iptid, For My Mother, Homer, Are we doing crimes? CCTX Girl, 6823, Waiting on the Diner, Nicole Studio So, Announcing, Signed by Shovel, Droid Pirate Finley, And his Rubik's Penguin, Truck Stop Sandwich, Indigo Escargo, Love My Captain, Joe Malma, Wandering Biscuit, Castriff, Ames' affection for Internet Protection, Retro MG, NightScript, The Gainsville Fear Garden, Lanna Bananas, In Pajamas, Are Coming Down the Stairs, Lanna Bananas, In Pajamas, Are Chasing Teddy Bears, Uchredin Rows is Viking Void Vitals, Fuelling the Intergalactic Fight Against Fascism, Not sure what I'm doing, Leia Rose, River Brown, Senior Deuce, Scullicy, Warped Writer, Tim Nacy, Ruben Clamzo, Turwin, Hugh The Mini Mungo, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Friendly Neighborhood Fire Protection Engineer, Skull Ball, Dustin Watson, Betty White, 813, Randy Suprem, And Queen Lancaster, The One True Cheap Khan, StarScribe, Lucy and Thunderstruck, Oh, Mama, Glorbnar 7, Now Granting Refugee Status, To Victims Fleeing the Bethany Wars, Doosier Now Identifies as Roman Durg, The Other Adel, Chef Galval, Leah Hall, Sarah May, Cone of Silence, Consultants LLC, Needs Fresh Tows in Room 3, At the Horizon, Silly Willie Bubble Butt, Sierra Not From Arkansas, Zee Go, Ebenezer Boob, Caleb Tuymala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Digital Fluff Lost in Time, Potion Maestro, Nebula Nell, Regulators, Mount Up, Crinkle Over Coffee, Mad Yogi Eileen, A Cat named M, Potato Pato, Palace, Big Mo, Demonic Narwhal, Eight, I am Annie, I live forever in every moment I've existed, I swear to every star in the cosmos, I never forgot, It was a gift, The Stone Fox, Trisha Schaefer, Celivia, Juiceton, A Ptoce, Boeing Hauer, Bethany Inter random place, Jennifer Baumer, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson, Camma bomb, Till I think of something better to do, Berrrrr, Itwards, Hot Shot Huntly, Momo's Mama, Space Mormon says, What, Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Murdle, Kaitlyn, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Trans-Dementional Deliveryman, Matt Luck, Lord of the Thirteenth Sea, Mr. Trigvy, Printing with Cats, Kaleesi Del Mar, Vaughan Vega, Dixie Dina, Seven Thousand Passums, Sarah Jack Sparrow, Space Pony, Revive, Debbie E, Emma, Mr. and Mrs. Owo, Uzi drifted through space, Gloria's line cook, Eagle Rock Lobster, the gabbiest painter and her bird of fire, wandering Wenjo, painted Oni, Qdel, Ferel, Emily with two E's, Space Man Nathan, Ramsey's niblic the third, Kirkplunk, Kirkplunk, whoops, wears my thribble, Mad Goat, Jackie Wavelet, Yeo-Ega-Garren, Issa the Strega, D. Gritzler, a Gremlin with a Munchies, Michelle Skorockio, Genuine Jacob, Andy's brain is weird, Space Rooster Randy, Leopard Donut, Puffy Thang, Mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, Matt McCharkman, Stilo, Arcadia, Bumbling Lily Beat, a quick pause so Joe can sip from his tiny teacup, the T is cold by the time I get to this point. FYI. Bufardis Nuts, Panda, Curtis Lillig, Kennedy Allison Farner, Tristan Stolls, Dalyn Why, Shadow Rapture, yet another Nicole, Hank the Wonder Lama, Arcraft, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, the ornamental hermit, Jay to the Lynne, just a regular Fox, Jeremy Impson, What the hell, Sinoplex, and all the Black people in North Carolina, just Rachel, Waffles Waffles, Waffles Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Paddy the Ginger, Ava Siger-Ed Ash, Hugh Bifant, A. Zeus, Anifalaxis, Scav with Comtax, the shape-shifting sad girl and her girlfriend say Joe you've done it again, Bibbi Baba, Serenacole, the Kells fights with the Bethany's, Angry Laves laser saw, Magnus Erichill, Amy Perry, Kristoffer Kai, Source Decay, the Spoiler Caroling Banger, Skexus, Randy Zamego, Gremlock, Katie Mermaid and the Delinquent Duo, Norman Nicole, Victor Schauberger reincarnated as White Mountain Hillbilly Glitter Cupcake, Max Danger's, Security Chief Shatsy, the Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Nea Nix Reno, Frankinator, Nordal Bash, Jordan, R1X Balasco, Ryan Rosinski, Average Height, Medium Rage, Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hefevison, Monica and Mason K, In the mysterious A. Z. H. Q, I'll grant you that we have a multiplicity of Mike's a jumble of James's Attura Effective of Tonys, one of whom still wants to be Lave, but sadly, no Bethany's. Rowan, Lady of the Black and Harold of the Stars, Arianne can't manage normal. Ryan Burnett, the joyful Nylist, Dr. Dr. B, Zoprez and the Bumble Army, growing into my farmboots, Superbeth becomes an RN alongside my bootstuff friend, Geneva Boss, Brothers of the Cosine, Uncivil Knomes, the Rat Queen Evelyn, Great Lunch Conversation, the other Scott, Letty Liu, He was a shifty one that Nick Howard. Kinger was here, Bubba Ruiwenlin Jr, Bebop Bdabaduwop, Warped Echoes, Slabs Big Terps, Mama's Time Lord, Jeremiah Franco, Justin the Nick of Time, Gothic Rainbow, so he made it, Cody McClure, McHadley, Eternal Companion, Jingalos, Eris, Goddess of Nobody, Hasmatilda, Ditsy Bay, Just your average Reese, Kyle Church, I am a life on the wind, Static Ego, Some fucking swamp wizard, Lallie, Evan M. Dobson, Dave B, Nobby, your friendly neighborhood pathologist, going to be lit, I am Shaggy, Captain Emerald L, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, Externally Screaming, but Bethany I made Biscuits, Skibow and Fuzzle McBumpernitz, Nielix Tiny Wolf, Ashre the Raven, Christina Senna Dis Teleporting, BRB, where the Shane's at? Definitely not an Android, seriously I'm not. The Wandering Welchman, Whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nicolay Tokachev, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shys Baros, BLTN, The Kiwi Duckling, Dana Dana Bobena, Fifi Fofena, Dad and Aubrey the Dirt Bike Demons, Tequila Mockingbird, Snuffle Up a Goose, Dammar in the Space Goblin, Isop Hale, Oh no, a B! I am Zoltan, hear me roar, Pocket Ghost Max, Mags the Conqueror, Wes and Heather wonder if Derek a Dare will join. My cat's name is... Beef, Eric, Katie Kate, Get your colonoscopy, Victor Casados, Emily Schmemley, Work from Ellis, Boho Go buy buy for JoJo, Po Go that's a no go bro, Cody Monster, Collided Mind, Miss Nixie, Baby Baton Lee, Charlie Roodle, Kyle Perino, A.K, Sid the Sloth and a Bike, Priyagandi. The Wandering Mermaid would like you to know that the little mermaid and the creature from the Black Lagoon are the same exact story. Will Stevie Pie, Green Mountain Hermit, Deaf Allergic to Bethany Stew, Two Polar Cat, Carl the Teller of Dad Jokes, Skylabs Multi-Dimensional Multiphasic Intergalactic Quantum Cyberverse, Verde Soul, Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Young and Mystic Hippie, Unforkable, Local Marshag, Daniel Nits, Mavis Bacon's Pyro's Calling, Joe Swayzean, The Wizard Supercalifragilistic XBL Adocious, an introducing Reese Pontef as the 24th Doctor. Tommony Jans, Cat-Jot, Pamela Rose Elchiera, then Steena says, Thud Tweed, Enigmatic Cat Bird, Countess of Carbon, Slappie the Squirrel's Ted Slapping Rampage, Luminous Elk, Brodian Caution, Loves for the Neeeeeirds-Ap, Taz Hernandez, Captain Crash and the Surviving Crew, Casper needs all the hugs but Joe needs an O2 tank. Quote says, Joe is the Writers Room, Awkward Heretic, Devon 7777, Troy Acre, Mandy Kane, North early K, Lost Besan, You Know the Moon Prison outside the triad, Kim Cell, Silly Goose, Hong Hong, Ad Matha, Astro Unit, Ghosts Saber Wolf, The Sleepy Mystic, Sarah Joy, Taters, Precious, It's Just Steve, Sweet Martines, Sharnobyl 610, Mirror Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Shut, Brimble, D-Dra, Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty, No Saguaro, Ben Bar, Beasley Death, Svendly Unlikely, Cognito Hazard Expunged, Ted Wasanossan, Viristria, Theosus the Theologianish, Nicole I Love You but I will name Kid 2 Brathar, Furnwood Gal, Nelly G, Twinkle Tots, Gemini Sky, Phantoms Moms, Callison, Horn Swagland Daniel Arthur, Michael Cluesy, It's a, It's a fucking dog rapture, Abigail Lehu, King Humble, We'd Better Ask Dave, Winchimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborn Welch, Fireball XL5, McKenzie Duna, Alexica Habaniera, Code Stranger, One Bet, You Bet, Woo-ha-ha-ha, Matt N, Alfie Raven Eurum, Monad Nick Sees You Seeing Me Seeing You Seeing Me, Frailp, Emlin, Feed My Fish, J-R-R on S-F-P, Lahari, J-Spark, Lucid Harbor, Little Mira Leopard Pause, Diet Night, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Macy's Bandstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts McGorz, Fresh Squeeze, Patrick Holt, Atlas B, Hold it now, Hold it now, Hold it now, Hold it now, Hit it, Had it, Had it, Had it, Hutt it, Bradley Ashby, Peter, Bacon O'Kio, William Dyer, Vicki A-Bare, Brad Maneer, Jane, Hannah Dale, Phantom Zone, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Kill Shot Betty and her Steel-Lide Bow, Turtles All the Way Down, Jackie Lowy, The Little Pigeon, Lily The Planetary Brain, Crazed Bear, Coming this holiday season, Dr. Lattus Trash Angel Action Figures, Restocked, Boots Scoot To Your Local Toys Shaq Today, Crafty Lizard Quilts, Knits and Crochets, Noble Barrel, Yes, my brain is weird, thank you, Bethany Boppity Boom, Megan Vemag Young, Cory Maraudes, Russell Bunny, Max Savage, Jenny Rind, Jason Road, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Airenetta, Bacon, Nicole Studio So, Rambo, Chaos Squadger, that homeless guy who saw the diner disappear from Rogers and gave up booze, Mary Kirby, Stephanie Sturgis, Kirsten, Hurry Up and Wait, Sarah Farmer and Bella Danna, first of her name, Crittle, Twilio, Heidelberg, Tom Webster, Rochemy Thinkattesh, McClump, Azana the Leathersmith, Salazar the Doh Mage, The Bard with the Tuba, Hayward's finest Garen Elisando, To my Little, you'll always be my good girl, you took a piece of my heart and left a paw print on my soul, till we meet again. Sir, shits a lot strikes again, damn animal, Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Tonka 2005, Cruzen Bianthony, Tricks says whore? Tibble the first, Steven Schmidt, Xavier Romo, Ali Frog, Tray the Turquoise Tortoise, Freya Titt Mittens, Courtney the Frogologist, Corey and Stephanie say hello, the Fontucky Wrangler, Scrim Brouley, Yay, Aaron, the Singing Loon, Zuzana, Celeste Yose, I'm so Antigone Fon, I'm Eva's Evil Twin Sister Bethany, Katie Innova, Hendrix the Stink, the Ambergler, Boodles, Osvaldo Simioni, Shavondelay the Rose, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Barbarian Bloodbath, the Definistration of Ted's, Corrine Sabrantha, Shadow Daddy, Rubius Fuzzle Butt, K-Mac, the Something Something Detective Agency, Hayabuda, Eli the Electrician, Sunny Dionomaly, Sharmey, K-On with Karma, Amanda Knock, the wondrous Mathazaphon, Post Turtle Evaluation Squad, Hashtag Nissan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Jesse Foster, Samira, Flat Doug, Deary Darling, ambient drifting man 80, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, Gracefully Impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Steve King, Laura, Roman Ronan, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, In Shuldugum, Criptesia, Rebecca Trossel, See when I said, good God there are so many names, the names weren't their own show yet, Chris from Tacoma, the real Fairy Godmother, the biggest Mamma-jama, boot kicking the booty of the Ted's, Mitsilu, Kelsey Home, still Casper's number one fan, but now armed with a quantum spatula, and ready to duel every Bethany in the multiverse with breakfast wisdom, Amanda Marie Cathrain, Damien the Goddamn Time lawyer, Matt Mosby, St. Foo, Harry Fishnuts, Joshua Cody, Astronomy, Magnos the Civil Nome. Welcome everybody, I'm Hyde Alon and I'll be leading our Midnight Burger emotional support group, David P. Arrini, Techno Ranger Rick, Joe's Weaselaf, Virgo Aries Infinity, Best Buds Danny and M, Charles Q Choi, a bug named Matt, C.C. Rider, Hunter B, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, all-Coconator. Ron was here, Magic Pony, Robert Olivary, often wrong Dan, Jess Geoia, Paul A. Johnson, Killer Odd, Dr. Punkusher Esquire is rooting for you, please root for Punt 2, he has an interview. Creator 67, Bejolanth, Lafes One True Love, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Inc. Ross, Deborah Wales, SCRB Mark 11, Eric A. Rayborn, Maggie's Yarm, Stoo, Enthanomaly, Megan Mighty, Haunt, Purple Saline, three legs are perfectly good, Drew and L.A., Anomalous Death to PSL Vandal, the Ice Queen, Captain Blep, Evie Power, Terry, PJ says, what? Amelia Lucero at all, Fear now doesn't polish the shiny melon, Blargo, Blargo, Blargo, the Jazz Man, Tonight at 11, Lauraq the Barbarian S, Hicks, Bezzy Mates, Zellis Pragma, Tuba Rick, It's Just Blake, Alice Malis, Disco Barbie Edition, Kelly Jane Dinky, Aaron the Optimus, Thomas Stolen, AKA Casper from another universe, Chadney Ashra, Lucretia, Hornus, Tamara Oliver, the real dirt fairy, Marissa, Ava, no not that, Ava, the one with an... Grim says, Trans writes y'all, Zackinat, underwater Corvids, Bizarre Rictum, Snakes and Bakes, Michael Christian, Ransom, Maroon Mycelil, Grolux and Terabang, Late Indeed again, Theron Pyrrallus, Ome Vega, Don't mind dances with frozen burritos hiding in the deep freeze till the Bethany's in their war. Aaron Mitchell, Lady Keanu Mison, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, JR the Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Malarann, Sweet Michelle, Kara, Kalmi Zenn, Calibri, Mel Mamba, Rogue, Lisa Geisler, Den Frucht, the Pirat, Frid Fridborg, What the chuck? Sononasuno, Ben and Jessica, Todd VanVoris, Nea DeRusso, Peaches Atowici, Inky The Crackin, Zulu The Brave, and their ever-faithful Squire Grab Thar, Gen Extraneous, Trinket Coralie, Dancing Dog Dreams, and Existentially Exhausted Bean. Okay, so before we get started, someone asked if we could... If we could deliver a birthday message to them, and it's not the kind of podcast we can really do that because it is fictional. However, I said, listen, what do we do the birthday message? I'll put it in the blooper section at the very end of the episode, right? So this is a message. Happy Birthday, Jenny, from your kid, Folk, who wants to ask if they can get Dairy Queen after this. So, everybody, Jenny, I'm here with Rebecca and Alan, and Finley, and we all wish Jenny a very happy birthday. Good day, Jenny. Happy Birthday, Jenny. And enjoy the ice cream. Happy Birthday, Jenny. Enjoy the birthday. Can we do this? Can we do that? Can we have the vibe of this being like we're gossiping and we're catching up? Like you're talking to each other? Sure, sure, sure. Can you do it like it's an episode of Real Housewives or whatever? I don't know what you're talking about. I have been having babies. Gross. Our seconds arrived, and nope. It's hard to laugh and be Danish, right? Okay. I do know in Swedish it can go both ways. Am I right, everybody? Why do we not tell people about this? Nope, that was American weirdly. Never. They all looked at me as if I were. Oh, I went Welsh again. Great. Is YEP still dressed as a court jester while he's during the machines? Yeah, he dressed as a court jester and just cranking on the... Amazing. But with his fancy pantaloons. Of course. Fancy pantaloons though. No, that was great. I was laughing because it was funny. Not you, the Netherlands. I love you the most. That's great. That was awesome. Oh my god, I'm sweating. Ooh, would you get me some stupel vaffles? Is that how you say it? I have no idea. It's actually strope vaffles. Strope vaffles. Strope vaffles. Let's go with stupel vaffles. People being like, hold on, I've got gas. Audio book narrators are disgusted. Which I feel like I can say because I am one. It's a little bit, and again, honey, please correct me if I'm wrong, but there's a little bit of a dick waving contest here. And Tiko's like slapping you with it. And you're like, just look at it. I don't have to swing it around. You're welcome, bloopers. The Fable and Falling Network, where fiction producers flourish. If you too still awake. Dad, we're too excited. You'll be tired at Mockery Manor tomorrow, and it's bigger than ever, so you really do need to sleep. Daddy, tell us about the new expansion. Okay, okay. Yay! Once upon a time, there was a wonderful place. Mockery Manor. Everyone loved it, but sometimes it felt lonely. The Manor longed for a companion, so they built a whole new park right next door, and called it Claytonville. And it was the... ...rubeness, too, this place here for DTC. Yay! Aw! Hop on board the brand new Mockery Railroad, all the way to Claytonville. Toot toot. In Claytonville, there are four cowboy lands to explore. Lasua goat, in Farman Valley. Kiss your girl's best friend in Lovelorntown. Don't be tearing. And in cowboy Christmas town, hop on down to the blue grass-crotto to meet Cowbar Santa. Oh, oh, hold on! And are you worried enough to ride the wildest ride in Claytonville? Look at it's the forest first country! Be for! Are you sleepy now, kids? All right, yes, Daddy. I can't wait to go to Mockery Manor and Claytonville. Two parks in one and only 1999 for a family of four. And how about you? Yeah, that's right. You listening to this. Are you ready to come back to Mockery Manor? Season three, available now.