Marge and Barbara's Clam Chowder

Happy holidays! Happy holidays! What are you doing? Don't eat on camera because it's bad for the sound. Bobby, you need new jokes. Go ahead, Andres, say what you want to say. I've always wanted to say that I don't like Bobby, I hate him, and I'm running to quit for years. I don't like Rudy either because I, me, Andres Rosende, I don't like brown people at all. I'm pro-ice. Andres Rosende, pro-ice. I'm totally against ice, man, because I'm liberal. Why are you talking to me? You're right. Free Palestine. I'm a cone, free Palestine, man. What's going on with Palestine, man? You mean because I'm on the right side of history. People don't know, but secretly I beat my wife. I'm Andres Rosende. I beat my wife. Why don't you tell us what's going on with you, Rudy? You're a pod trader. But, Cone, you're the worst. You're not my boss. Andres is my boss. Mm-hmm. You shut up. Your dad died? Oh, sorry. Jesus Christ, dude. That's real. That is crazy. We're supposed to be in character. You two are bad friends. Why are you doing this to this sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc sc Japanese pop music or whatever. It's not. It's Rosalia. Whatever it is. You know what I mean? Japanese pop. It's Spanish. It's Spanish. It's Spanish. It's Spanish. You know, I'm listening to this stuff, right? And then I go, do you know the history of music? And she goes, I'm open. Right. So I'm going to make her a playlist. Yeah. Of things that I like throughout history. Okay. But can you listen to her too? Yeah. I already. That's her? Yeah. Now you like her. I like her a lot. Yeah. I like her eyebrows. How does she do that with her? Is that like shape? She shaves them like that? Yeah. There's a worm on her head. Is that a worm? That's her trademark. Oh, it is? Okay. Yeah. Is she Hispanic? Spanish. Yeah. Spanish. That's Hispanic. What do you mean? From Spain. Oh, you know the line. You're drawing the line again. Wait a minute. She's Hispanic. Yeah. Is that not true? No, it's true. But different than the other kind of Hispanic. Hispanic means big Spanish. So yes. Okay. Yeah. People from Spain are considered Hispanic. Yeah. But not Latino. Not Latino. Latino. Yeah, Latinos. As we know. Are the true Americans. The true Americans. Yeah. That's a Latino right there. Yeah. Actually, you're Latinx because you're being excommunicated from this podcast pretty soon. What did I do? Here's what Latino, I was in the hospital this week. Here's what Latinos are like. My dad's a doctor. I'm going to get into comedy. I'm going to get into comedy. I'm going to get into comedy. I'm going to get into comedy. I'm going to get into comedy. I'm going to get into comedy. I'm going to go to school and be a doctor. I'm going to go to glory halls. Have prostitutes. Do drugs. You're a drug addict. You got lucky to be. You are so lucky you were born. I'm glad. To be famous in the 90s. Whoa. You are so lucky. How am I lucky? If you were born in 1987, you'd be like working at a laundry mat right now. What if he was born in like that? What if he was born in like the 90s? What do you think his career would be? He would have tried to be a writer on Parks and Rec and it never would have happened. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Slam. You're fired. Slam Fest 2025. Wow. You just got personally, huh? Yeah. I had to fight back on that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're still here. There's a lot of people who are funnier than me that are doing nothing in LA now. I would argue there's nobody funnier than you. How about that? Yeah. I think you're one of the most talented people in Los Angeles. The reason why I made fun of you is because I respect your talent. Oh. Right? That's emotional abuse. That's emotional abuse. You know what you sound like right now? What? A truck backing up. Beep. Beep. No, dude. I'm not beeping, dude. Well then go forward. I'm going forward. No, you're not. You just backed out. Yeah. Yeah. Hit hard. Isn't that true? I'm just getting facts. All right. Isn't that true, right? That your father's a physician. That. Yes, Your Honor. That's true. Was. Okay. Good. Yeah. Okay. That's another slam. That's fine. That's fine. Okay. Single? Kind of sometimes. Will you slow down? Slow down. What are you in heat right now? Relax. What was that? Stepmom. Yeah. Dude, how funny if she became Carlos's stepmom? What are the funniest things on earth? I would just have, you know what I mean, a jacket bomb at the wedding. And I would just pull everyone dies. Okay. Is that your closer? Jacket bomb? Yeah. Jacket bomb. Anyway, so let's go back to court. Okay. Your dad's not a physician. He is. He is, right? Yeah. A very highly respected one. Correct. Correct. What kind of physician is he? Cancer. Cancer. The surgeon. Cancer surgeon. That's incredible. And he still smokes, right? No, he doesn't. Oh. That's top doctor. Cancer surgeon? Yeah. I don't even know if there's someone above him. I know. Man who owns hospital? Who's above that guy? That guy. Yeah. Man who owns hospital. How many years of school? You're like the dentist of that world. Yeah. Yeah. Orthodontist for junior high kids. Are you saying he's like a dental hygienist? He's not even a dentist? Yeah. Is that what you're trying to say? Yeah, it's like very mid-level. Damn. Yeah. By the way, shout out to my dental hygienist. Okay. If I'm a dental hygienist, you're, what do you do? You wash the tables in the lobby? In comedy? Yeah. I'm like the assistant or something. Okay. In the OR. Okay. Yeah, I'm doing this. You know what? I can't wait for my special to come out and prove you wrong. I'm going to be the whole motto all 2026. When it comes out, you'll see all the reviews. Yeah. Yeah. No, some people might not like it, but I'm just saying, you know what I mean? You're against me. Yeah, you're against me. No, he's against me, dude. You're making a false ghost in front of you to change. Andrew, is he against me? Andrew. The attack before, right? Yeah. Was truths. Oh, only truths. Yeah, yeah. And so it's like, I don't think that I was, you know what I mean? I think you're a very complex, dynamic, artistic guy, right? That script that you wrote was fucking amazing. The one you didn't read. I did read it. I read it. Oh yeah. Andrew read it. I know. I read it too. Oh, I didn't know you read it. Yeah, I loved it. Why did I tell Abby I like this? Oh yeah, that's right. Got it wrong. Okay. So what I'm saying is that I think that you're talented, right? But you're telling everyone that I'm like a loser because I didn't say that. No, I didn't say that. I didn't say that. That's so unrealistic. What I was saying is that it was more toward Andres because of the Latino thing. No, let's get it here. Stop backing up the truck. All right. I came in a little hot. I'm sorry. But I'll be honest with you. Your knives are so sharp today. I don't think I've seen you this keen. What is it? You went to the hospital? On Monday night, I went to the hospital and I've been in my place for like two hours. How come I didn't get a phone call? What's going on? I didn't want to stress you out. What happened? Acting concern. Yeah. Take two. Give me a second. Just give me a second. You can't even fake it. I can't fake it. And three, two, one. What is it going? No, he laughed. Ready? One more take. One, two, three. What's going on? I got a stomach virus and I was... Shut the fuck up. You're ruining the moment. I have health insurance. I can go to the hospital. Did you eat something bad? Yeah, I think I did and it fucked me up and I had to go get IVs all night. Are we talking like blood and stool again? No, it wasn't blood. No, it's great. All right. Yeah. When I called him. Yeah. Let me tell you something. I was embarrassed. We're on a buddy system on this show. Everyone has to call someone when something happens. We're on a buddy system. So never again. Exactly. We have to. Buddy system. Yeah. I've always said that. Yeah. We're on a buddy system, then. Where are you? What's going on? You were embarrassed? Yeah, I was embarrassed. And all every week. Yeah. I didn't want you to think I was up to no good. What is going on with you health wise? We've got to fix that. No. I think I'm too thin and I don't eat enough. So when I get sick, it fucks me up. And you're wearing Amish clothing. Where do you get that shirt? That's an old umpire in the 40s. What are you? Amnesty. Do you work in Zanadu? Like when do you get that shirt? McCown loves Zanadu. Yeah. Yeah. It's fire everywhere that again. That shirt is what? It's fire. It's not fire. We don't say that word on the show anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's Anderson Cooper. Yeah, yeah, that's not Anderson Cooper. That's otherworldly. That's Jake, Jake Trapper or whatever. Yeah, yeah, Jake Trapper. I gotta tell you something. You gotta call buddy system, but you do need to get your health in check. Yeah, I've been eating a lot. Brother, you gotta wake up, take a walk, get something to eat, get your system back. I mean, exercise, I think I definitely want you to do, but eat, you gotta eat, dog. I know, I gotta live more like Andrew and not like Bob. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not. You're not listening. You're projecting on what you would do in this situation. You're not listening. I'm not saying, I'm the, I don't know, I'm not saying I know better, I'm saying, but for you as your friend, you do have to eat better. You do have to like, you've gotta change your diet. You can't eat fucking once every other day. Yeah, that's how I eat. I have air once, smoothies and I chill. Dude, that's not good. Are you depressed? No, I'm not depressed, I like my life. You're afraid of getting fatter and older. You're afraid of turning into Andres. Older than me as a hot wife. Older, yeah, has a hot wife, has a beautiful child. I kind of want to be like Andres one day. Got new hair, I mean, everything is worth it. God damn! Well, so this, so maybe it's being in the booth with him that's like fucking you up. Oh, should we move you out of the booth and get your own section? Because Andres is thriving. He really is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's grown into, I don't look him like a pork anymore. What do you look at him at now? Like the baby version of the state puff marshmallow mask. The cutest thing on earth. Yeah, it's the cutest thing on earth, you know what I mean? Thank you. Yeah. My favorite thing is when your glass is fogged. That's probably one of my favorite things. His eyes sweat, I don't know, eyes could sweat. I have never seen that before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. I thought that was only Cambodians. Speaking of Cambodians, Rudy Jules is back in the studio. Thank God. Everybody. And you know who else she brought, who'd she bring? Her mom, but let's get her later. We'll get her later, that's fine. Your mommy's here. Your mom's here. Are you excited to see your mommy here? Would they live together? They live at my house. No, I mean here in the studio, here in the studio. Yeah. Yeah, but she's scared. Shouldn't be. Yeah, she should be. She should be, yeah, she should be scared. Because I know things. Scared of me? Hell yeah. Have you met her? No. Yeah, I think, didn't I meet her once? I don't think so. Yeah, I have to limit my brown people that I meet every year. I think I'm up to like seven. I might be at the roof. Yeah, you're at the roof. 10 is. You're too, too, too much, I think. Too, too over? Yeah, you gotta cut two of them out. I will, that's fine. I better be not be one of them. No. Of course, thank you. You're not brown, buddy. I'm not? Yellow. You're actually more, you know what you are? You know what you are? Because of your new health, new found health and body style? Yeah. I think you're more like your ombre. I'm Hispanic now. No, not an ombre. An ombre. Ombre means like the color that like changes into another one, right? I like ombre, like hair. Like you shift colors. You're not all one unified color. Thank you, thank you. Like a mixed person. Like 100%, you're ombre. By the way, we should call mixed people ombres now. Yeah, before we bring in your mom, okay. How's it going? Good. Mm, interesting. Came with a fire, huh? Yeah. She brought the heat. She's out on prowl. Well, here's what she's also doing. She's on every other podcast on earth. No, I'm not. Yeah, you are. The cute, young, handsome guy, who's the young, handsome guy? Zach Justice. Zach Justice, you're with that fucking mega babe. I see you with that guy all the time. How many times have you done it with him? Maybe like 12 times. Okay, yeah. Trash Tuesdays, how many? Weekly. Weekly. Yeah, weekly. Not weekly. A lot. Sometimes she pops into belly. Sometimes, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's like a family podcast. So is this. Yeah. And this is your original family. Now you went off, you know what? This is what happened. You got to college just like all these little brats do and you abandoned your original family that grew you, that nurtured you, the ones that raised you, that cared about you, and you floated off to a cool family to hot Zach Justice. No, I didn't. Yeah, you changed. You changed. Tito Bobby told me to do it, so I said I'll do it. What? No, he didn't. No, I didn't. You were on call when we... I'm your lawyer. He's your lawyer. Okay. I was just like, pump it up. Yeah. You know what I mean? She does her more, pump it up. I don't know the fucking thing. Yeah, no, pump it up. I'm not gonna do it. Solid, that's solid. Pump up the jam, you know what I mean? What's been going on with you? Life's good? She's been going on dates. You drove all the way to what? Redondo, where'd you go? To Laguna. Laguna to meet the guy that you like. Yeah. Yeah. Handsome young half African-American boy. Yeah. He's a surfer? He's learning. Yeah, you like that guy. You like a surfer guy. He's cute. He's like... Pull up a photo. No, I don't want. I don't want. He's like a Jaden Smith kind of a... Oh. I mean, one of those. Artsy. Cool. Artsy, yeah, yeah. There he is. There he is right there. Is that Leonard Robinson? Who is that? That's like Tyrion Re. Wow, look at that. But you like the surf life. You like guys that are beach guys. Just a beachy where they're just like so dumb and white. No, when you went on a date with them recently, where'd you guys go? You went to the beach. Okay. See, he's a beach guy. Yeah. Do you do like black surfers talk like this? I have met a couple of black surfers. I mean, I know a couple of black skaters that talk like that. Yeah, what's up, dude? What's up, bro? Yeah, I love that. Yeah, fuck, yo. You're gonna fucking hit shred the Nardog? Yeah, dude. I just did a laser flip, dude, off the bank. Are you fucking tripping right now, dude? No, I did, dude. I gnawed it, dude. You didn't hard flip Cove Avenue, dude. I didn't hard collect it. I laser flipped it. Yeah, but I hard flipped it, dog. So come see about me. Oh, you did a hard flip at Cove Avenue? First of all, dude, first trick at Cove. I was one that broke Cove. Bro, dude, check my... Everybody knows Cody broke Cove. Dude, dude, dude, check out my Baker video, dude. Your Baker session is so weak, dude. Chris Cole just said it was fucking dope, dude. I'll call him right now. Call Chris, dude. I'll call him right now. Oh, first of all, okay. What year did you do that, dude? When you hard flipped the bank, then? 88, dude, everybody knows. Oh, fuck, I remember that. That was sick. Sick, thank you, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My guy. Yeah, you did that for zero skateboards, dude, when you were signed by them, right? I was signed by zero and I got dropped. And I don't know why you wanna bring it up because you're being a fucking punk-ass bitch. Yeah, dude, how come you're not signed now, dude? Well, aren't you still riding Flow? I heard you're riding Flow. I'm not sponsored by, no, you're not, dude. I'm sponsored by Flow, you know what I mean? No, no, you're riding Flow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're getting floated for shit. Dope trucks, dude. They gave me four new trucks, dude. Okay, dude. All right, dude, and also I'm still kind of like co-sponsored by Baker kind of something. How about this, dude? I saw your fucking board in Pacific Sunware. Oh. What are you sick, dude? Bro, I told him. I saw your complete, I sailed. Bro, I told him to yank that board for Pacific Sunrider, dude. It's still there, dude. Yeah, I know it is, dude. But you know what, dude? It's selling well, dude. Would be, dude, hack, sell out, fart, no. Oh, where's your board, dude? What, dude? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. I just forgot to tell you. What? I wanted to take a picture. I met Yuki Sonoda yesterday. Oh my God, who is that? Seriously? Yeah, I don't know who Yuki Sonoda is. Oh my God, one of the greatest F1 drivers in the world. Oh, fuck. I met this. I'm the stereotype that Asians can't drive. Look at this, man. He's crashed three times this year. Really? No, no, no. He's literally one of the best F1 drivers in the planet. And I'm not kidding when I say this. 120 max pounds. Look at how much he weighs. They are all tiny, tiny men. I didn't know they were that small. Like Jockeys in a way. 119. I said 120. I'm heavier than him. You're bigger than him. That's crazy. That's crazy. Wow. That's him? That's him with an NBA player. With poor Zengas. Yeah, with poor Zengas. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That looks like a fucking... That's me and Brad Williams. That's insane. So how tall is he? The tall guy? 7, 7'3". 7'3", and then Yuki is how tall? 5'3". Oh wow. So I would look like that in front of him. 100%. You and Yuki could see eye to eye. Dude, me? I'm not kidding. You're almost the exact same height. Because I went to... I'm taller than Yuki. Well, I saw him from behind. I almost hugged him thinking it was you. This guy's the fucking man though. Did you say hi to him? Yeah, but I was nervous because like he's... It's so funny. I don't know enough about F1. All right, so I'm Yuki. What happened? Yeah, you are. Tomato, I have to... No, no, no, no, no, no. Give me the voice. It's not guttural, it's high pitched. Because he's... Tomato, I have to... That's good. All right. Tomato, I have to do the F1 race around Nashville. Race course. It's in Vegas. Exactly. God, I hope he doesn't see this. Go ahead. All right. Are you gonna interrupt me? Because you're... You know, anyway, the carburetor in my engine ain't not good. What's wrong with your... Let's start this the right way. Yuki, I don't know the fucking terminology. Hey, Yuki, I'm a huge fan. I just wanna say good luck this weekend. I think you're gonna get it. I love you too. Oh, yeah, I love Cocoon. Oh, the movie Cocoon? Yeah, yeah, Apollo 13. Love. Great director, you. Oh. Very good director. Rahawa, why? Yes, I am running out. Rahawa, yeah. Your wife, your daughter, Bryce. Dallas, Bryce Dallas, yeah. Yeah. She from Dallas? No, she's not from Dallas. Why Dallas? It's where JFK got shot. Oh, that's my favorite assassination. Me too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, very good, very good one, right? Because who did it? No one, no. But let me ask you something, right? Where was your daughter born? Where? Yeah. She was born in LA. Why not Bryce LA Howard then? I mean, Dallas is so arbitrary and you know what I mean? Like, what the fuck? No, no, no, no, it is. Well, it's one of my favorite cities in the United States. Oh, why? Because of the JFK? JFK shooting. I tell you now why it was good. Huh? I tell you now why it was good. Sorry? Yeah. Baby Dolls. Strip club, yeah. Oh, Baby Dolls? Yeah. I love Baby Dolls. Yeah, it was good. Very good. Very nice. Oh, good boy. I like roast beef. I'd like to leave the party now. Goodbye. No, stay with me. No, please God. I wanna talk about Apollo 13. But seriously. Yeah. Seriously about it. Yes. How was it to direct Kevin Bacon? Bacon was pretty great. Yeah? Yeah. Tomahawk. Tomahawk. Tomahawk? Yeah, Tomahawk. Very good. You never either, when he do, you know, I don't know how to run. Oh, Tom Hanks. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we loved Tom Hanks. What's that movie called? Forest Gump. Forest City Gump. Yeah, Forest City. Yeah, very good, very good. I can't run. I don't know, you know. And you got the leg, clump. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, very good movie, you know what I mean? No? Yeah. Very good. You didn't direct that though. I did not do that. I know who direct. Who? Robo, Robo, Robo, Robo, Robo, Robo. Yeah, Mr. Zemeckis. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's how you say Zemeckis. Zemeckis. Zemeckis. Yeah, anyway, what are you working on now, Rob? I am working on Shrek 5. We're redoing. Oh, I love it, Shrek 5. Thank you. Yeah, very good, very good. You do the donkey? Do the impression of the donkey? You do first, I do second. I never see movie. Come on, come on, Shrek. Come on, you go shrek. Pretty good. Very good, right? Yeah, we cast you. We have donkey in Japan. You do? Yeah. Am I Japanese? You are. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and the donkey. You have a lot of donkey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And what do you do with them? Raman, you know Raman? I love Raman. We will put donkey or Raman. Oh, you? You never had donkey or Raman? No. Oh, you're really good, really good, really good, really good. After that, I did donkey or Raman. I run the track. And you drive faster? Yeah, yeah, the carburetor. And it's combustion, very good. Very good. Anyway, bye. Bye. I gotta tell you, I felt like I was back in Matt TV. Like you were going for it. The most racist. You were going for it. That's what you used to do on Matt TV. Some of it, yeah. I loved it. That's when you just put your foot on the gas and let it rip. Yeah, yeah. I think I took my people back about 100 years. Maybe two or three. A couple hundred. I feel bad about it. I'm just doing an impression of what I think the guy sounds like. Yeah, he does not. But yeah, yeah. Okay, so I'm you're the guy. I'm Yuki Shinori, you're me. All right, go ahead. Well, I gotta play you, right? Yeah, you be me. I knew it. Let me do it though. Yeah, go ahead, babe. Taylor, very good. Very good, Taylor. Let me do it, right? Travis, huh? Wow. Oh, Yuki. Big fan. Thank you very much. Whoa, whoa, man. Didn't know you didn't have an accent. That's a little racist. I was born in Dallas. Oh, you were? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. All right, bye, Taylor. Damano! You know what I got? I know what I got. I'm a man of the people and I got the people's pizza from Damano's inside of here. Pepperon! Italian sausage, green peppers, mushrooms and onions, especially pizza was named after our customers. They named it after you guys because it represents the most ordered five topping, build your own pizzas, and there they are in all of their fashion. My favorites are Italian sausage and green peppers, and they put that on there. And you also get a bonus with a little bit of pepperone and some onions and mushrooms, so good. I have to say, tell me. Domino's is stepping up their game. It's now more high end. It's high end, you know why? Cause you can't say Domino's without saying, hmm. Exactly. You know what I got here, guy? Hmm. The one I only eat. That's the only one that you like. You eat the same one every time. Mizza, baby! I'm not gonna eat the pizza! Two Z's in that, baby! The meat lovers, feast! It's topped with pepperoni, ham and Italian sausage, beef, all sandwich between, how many layers? Two. Two, and maybe 100% real. Not fake, it's real. Real mozzarella. A lot of places use this fake. Say it, mozzarella. Mozzarella. Mozzarella. So do yourself a favor and get yourself some Domino's right now! Right now, dude, get it! Rocket Money! You saved me so much money on Rocket Money. You're welcome. You know why? Because I was bleeding out, dude. You were, I had to patch that up. Yeah, I had so many apps and stuff that I wasn't even aware of, and even packages coming to my house that like, you know what I mean? Subscriptions. 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You're not gonna be able to Google it. Okay. What is it? I'm gonna tell you. Okay, so scientists have figured out that elephants, you know, when they make their sound. Bruh. How do you do it? Bruh. Is that a good name? Right, right. Each brrrr that they do, right, is a lot of it's a name of another elephant. Shut up. Yes. Shut up. Yes. So they can go brrrrr and another one go. It's like Randy. Oh, it's just for one guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, Jonathan, right? So what they did, they fucked up one day, the scientists. Right, they recorded an elephant, right? And then they went to her just to experiment, right? And they did the sound, right? But what they didn't realize is that elephant had died. Oh my God. So all the other elephants were freaked the fuck out. Like fuck ghost, right? So they tricked elephants into thinking that ghosts are real. Right, by accident. And then the daughter of that elephant for a month was looking for her mom. Is this a documentary? No, I saw it on TikTok. It was like the saddest shit I've ever heard of. I know, I know, it's ghost elephants, man. That's insane. It's insane. So it called out the name and the elephant tried to find its... Yeah, the kid of the elephant tried to find the mom, like maybe she's alive. I know, it's not sad. Like fucking remember what you recorded is the lesson, I think. God, that's so dark to think though. That's how, they're very intelligent, right? They're intelligent too. So they're like, half of them were freaked out because imagine they know instinctually that this elephant had died. Right. Then they hear it, right? And they're like, what is going on here? Yeah, that would, that's... It's not cool. That makes me think in some weird, we're in a simulation way that the reason that we have ghosts or the thought of ghosts is because something above us is playing with us. Whoa, what? Am I wrong? Am I wrong? Same idea. Someone's fucking with us. Someone is puppeteering us. You know what, you wanna know how I know the world is simulation or it's organized through coordination. I went to the fucking mall today to go get my cologne refilled. Whoa, whoa, stop. What? What? I went to the mall. You went to Lalabo? At the mall. Lalabo. Yeah, yeah. What's a cologne again? Lalabo. Now what's the cologne that you're getting there? Oh, I'm not gonna tell you. No, cause you keep trying to jack it. I know, tell me what the cologne is. It's a, well, first of all, it's a mix of two and I'm not gonna tell you. You gotta tell me the mix. I make them mix two of them. Not gonna tell you. It's for me, she makes it for me. I know, but I like it. You have so many sense. Why can't we do it together? You fucking have so many sense. I know, why can't we do it together? No, because that's the thing about you. That's the thing about you. You never wanna do things together. Fuck you. When you had to, first of all, you banned. Unbelievable. You banned me from wearing Santaol cause you were like, I wear it first, you can't wear it. Yeah, that's my sense. What the fuck are we talking about? This is my sense. That's not your sense, you combined two. Yeah, I made my own. I know, but the thing is that you can't combine two. Yes I can. That's everyone's sense if you combine two. No, it's nobody's sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah, give me the two, dude. Boop. I'm gonna back right on it here. I'm not booping yet. You're booping booping. I'm not booping shit, dude. You're trying to angle B to give it away. Let me just say something. I didn't know that you can combine et la labo. First of all, whites need it because we smell bad. You guys have your own natural scent. We need it. Of what? Pipe up white. Yeah, we smell bad. We smell bad, we need it. Yeah, your pits smell bad. Our whole body smells bad. I hate it. You don't need it. But I do. You don't. It's just out of curiosity. No one at home do this. That's white body. You're doing white body. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pita Bobby has like a scent that smells like cow shit. It's like the best thing in the world. What's it called? I don't know. It smells so bad. Wait, you've bottled? You've said someone bottled that for you? No, I went to a farm. Bend over a cow. What is it called? I don't know what it's called. I'll bring it in next time, but it's a. Pull up cow shit, Cologne. It's for cowboys. I mean, really though, what is this? You, you, it just smells awful. It doesn't smell like cow shit. It smells like a dirty barn. It smells like cow shit. There's one of a newer selling smet. A smet. Smok. Baru's rou al-asam. Tell the, go down the lane. Ba-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Yeah. What you're saying, I'm fine. I designed a Cologne, man. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. And it just smells like shit. Yeah. Smelly. It's new deli. Smelly. Yeah. Okay. So, um, just. Okay. We'll bleep it out. No. Bob. You're so rude. It's the one thing. It's you're so rude. Your sentence is personal to you. It's personal to you. Okay. Well, if you're going to be like that, I will hide things too. Like what? There's just certain things that I know about. I would like to share. I don't even know anything specifically. You hide all sorts of shit. Most of the time, if I say, do you want to go get, we're going to get something to eat after this. You want to come eat. And you go, no, I'm going to go, I'm going to go do whatever. Then I'll find out that you're at a restaurant alone or with a group of other people. Don't I do that. We find out that you'll go out with other people, sneak away, go to places without us. Because with the whites, it's different. Oh, well then, oh, so it's a race thing. It really is. And I, you know what? I'm not ashamed of saying it right. Well, guess what? And guess what, Bob? I'm not ashamed of sharing my heritage with our audience. Okay. There are times when you're with other Koreans and Asians, some Chinese and some others, right? But from our land, our continent. Okay. You're not included, by the way. Don't try to shoehorn yourself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a drift in the ocean. We call you floaters. Stay out there floaters. So there are times where, and they're mostly people that are comics or in the business. Mostly comics that are Asian. Riders and stuff like that. And it's like, they go, hey, let's go somewhere after set. And I see you and I'm like, I just know that Andrew will not like this place because it's so far from our house. Judgey, judgey, judgey. Yeah, so we'll go to like Sun and Dang. Don't you love Sun and Dang? Although you guys got diarrhea the other night. Yeah, but I still love it. Yeah, I love it too. I'll have it every time. But it's a late night place. It's great. You're not gonna like it. I'm not gonna invite you. You've never been to Sun and Dang? But you see what he did? Where did we go with me, you and, where was that at? Where was that place? Augusti Gopchang. Augusti Gopchang. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You didn't eat. Why would I? Yes, I did. Barely. We had just come from dinner. I literally had dinner. I know, but I watched. You said, where are you? I said, I'm eating dinner. I watched you. I watched you. And it's like, you know what I mean? I don't like that. Don't do that fake shit. You know I love Korean barbecue. I love it. Okay, okay. I'll go to fucking Chupdakongang. I'll go to wherever the fuck you want me to go. Okay, go to Chupdakongangang. But you gotta, but here. We'll go to Sun and Dang. No, I know what it really is. Here's the real truth. You get together with, you know, the yellow crew and you guys all huddle up and you're like, no white. No white. Uh-huh. And you get in your Hyundai's and you zip away. And you don't invite. It's called rice rockets, okay? All right. We drive away, yeah. Yeah, and you guys, you enjoy the night without the whites. That's what it is. It's a night without whites. Can we have a night without the whites? You have them all the time. No, I don't. You're surrounded by them. Your house is filled with no whites. Yeah. It's filled with non-whites. We went to a restaurant last night with Louis Katz and he's like, I made a reservation. You know what I mean? And I knew once he, when Louis Katz says I made a reservation. Jewish deli. It's a white place. And we go in there. I can't tell you what it is because it's, and we sat there and you look around the room. It's all old white people, which is fine. I love, I'm a man of the people. You know what I mean? How old whites are we talking like? Anywhere from like 50 to 80. So I belong to age range, right? But in terms of the culinary tastes and flavors. And I did not like it. But, and everyone is enjoying it. And I'm always aware of like the demographics of a restaurant. You never, you don't do that? You want young, non. I'll give you a prime example. I was, I went to a breakfast spot, which is my favorite one. The one I mentioned last time, the griddle. Okay. And I was with my, the squirrel that I'm seeing, she's white and we're sitting there. And she's very liberal and she's very open. And we're having pancakes and whatnot, right? And we both turned to each other and go, this is, feels like America to me. Because you're allowed to share pancakes with someone? No, no, no, just if you look at the Democrats of the room, right? You have the gigantic Samoan guy. And you have the two, you know what I mean? College white girls. And then you see like, you know, a black guy with a white family. I mean, just, you know what I mean? Just like. A black guy who kidnapped a white family. No, no, no, no, like the movie Precious. Not that movie Precious. What's the one about with Thunder Bullock? Blindside? Blindside, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very different film. Yeah. I mean, at their core. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, at the core, yeah. They're similar. I mean, that football player did end up getting HIV in that movie. Yeah, before the HIV. Right. Yeah, yeah. But anyway, you know, you see the blindside stuff, you know what I mean? Yeah. And it's like, oh, this, what? Just to call it that is insane. We should have a restaurant called The Precious Blindside. Yeah. How good would that place be? Yeah, but it feels like, oh, this is kind of the America I want to live in. Sure, a diverse America. Yeah, the Middle West Hollywood. Yeah. Very America. Yeah, I understand that because of the location that I live and the state that I live in, that it might not look like where McComb grew up, right? But I can dream, can I? You can. I used to love eating at those gay restaurants in West Hollywood and they're literally all gone. They're literally all gone. Yeah. Like basics and they're all gone. All those things are gone. Like come and go. That was, that was, oh. Oh, I like that was so good. Rump and dump? Do you have a dump? Oh, good. They're beef cakes? They had beef cakes at Rump and Dump. Merix is back. Yeah, yeah. Merix is back? Yeah. Look at that. Do you ever eat at Sacks? I've never eaten at Sacks. Oh, no. They're cream of the clam chowder there. It's so good. I don't know what cream they use, but oh my God. Yeah. Sacks is so good at. Oh, what about that new place Gargle? Is Gargle open? Gargle is, oh, it's so good. I think they got a Michelin star. Did they really? What's your favorite dish at Gargle? Like my prep, okay. I mean, you're not going to like that. Just because I'm a big meat guy, I'm a beef guy. I get it. But it's called the Long Dong Wong. It's so good. Asian-crusted red American meat. I love cream tubes. Oh, I love cream tubes. I'll squirt those all over. Dude, you get four cream tubes, dude. I don't know what's in the middle. Why do I need to know? I don't need to know. It's so sweet. Yeah, yeah. It's sweet. It's very sweet. And it kind of tastes like bleach. Yeah, it smells like it. It's like a scent of bleach. But anyway, we love. What's it called? What's your problem? What's your problem? Nothing. Have you guys tried abalone or abalone with salt? Can we rewind for a second? We're doing bits. Just let's say we're doing bits about make-believe gay restaurants. You're right. And gay dishes. And then you throw in abalone. Oh yeah, it is. Or like an asshole. Oh, there we go. Oh, there we go. Good. So what you say is have you been to abalone? It's a new lesbian restaurant. Yeah. Giving you the joke, it's very easy. There it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that looks good. Yeah, yeah. I'll be your server, I'm Marge. Welcome to abalone. I'm Barbara. This is my partner, Barbara. Yeah. We got married the first week. You are clams. Ha ha ha ha. We sell clams and dirty tacos. The place, welcome to Snatch. Yeah. It has nothing to do with the movie. Ha ha ha ha. Okay. What do you want to order here at Snatch? Yeah. You're pretty cute. Yeah, I'm Barbara. I'm Marge. Ha ha ha ha. That's so aggressive. Yeah, you want to get me some? Well, you know. Get in or get out. Yeah. I can peg you guys. Right on. Right on. Right on. After the meal, what do you want? Makeup a dish. Can I have a white sausage? No, you get that at Saks. Ha ha ha ha. Do you think you're at Saks? You go to Gargle for that. Yeah, you go to Gargle. Yeah, Gargle has that. Yeah. You're at Snatch. What do you want here at Snatch? Can I have a clam chowder? Oh yeah, oh yeah. Oh yeah. How do you want to pay? Yeah. You can peg me and I can eat you out. Hell yeah. Yeah. What's the tip? No tip. That's right. That's right. Clams only. Come back to Snatch anytime. I'm Barbara. Bring a friend, you gash. What's your name again? Marge. Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, anyway, I gotta eat there. Yeah, I gotta eat there. Gotta eat that. Abalone. Abalone. Abalone. Oh man, I saw that Eddie Murphy documentary. I heard it's good. I saw it last night. I heard it's good. It's okay. Not great? It shows a lot of his house. It's like a lot about his house. Yeah. It's like a very strange, it flows very poorly. I roofed that retract. It was a retractable roof that opens up to the outside. He had mentioned that he was kind of maybe, thought about maybe doing comedy. He talks about it a little bit. But I don't know. I mean, he's one of the greatest of all time. He can do whatever the fuck he wants. I'm not saying that. What do you mean by I don't know? He lives an insulated life. Yeah, he does. Right? Yeah. For him to do it, he'd have to go back into the, and dwell with us in our club. Oh no chance. There's no way he'll do that. Well, that's not true. I mean, I don't know if you- Like a Chappelle, you know, the other night Chappelle was at the store. You know what I mean? Louis does. I mean, all these guys that are- But they're still working the game. Right, but what for? Don't you think that for, like Martin Lawrence does it, right? At the store, right? He'd have to come down to the store or a place like that. I disagree. Or do you think that he would do what Jamie Foxx does and just write it and just do it? Write it and go. Right. He would do an arena tour and just do it live. Sandler does that. Yeah, but I still see Sandler in the belly room. Sandler works there. He does work out sometimes, but not like David or Louis. I know, but still, he still does it. Don't you think that there needs to be a degree of him doing that? Yeah, I don't know, man. I think he- I just can't see it. You don't want him to come back. I do, I would love to see it. Yeah, I'm a huge fan. I don't know if he wants to. It feels like when he watched this thing. Did you guys watch it? I did. It felt like he- I think he's gonna be back in the movies, not doing stand-up. Yeah, kind of felt like he had said, because he had said, I'm not a stand-up comic. He is though. No, he says it in the fucking movie, like three times he goes, I'm not a stand-up comic. I'm a comedian, I'm an actor, I'm a musician, I'm an artist and I just flow through whatever art I deliver. He's a man of many occupations. Well, he was. He was a fucking Grammy for music and for a comedy album. Is that true? Doesn't he have one for each? I mean, it's insane. It's insane, yeah. Legend. The guy's the G. But also, comedy album and best R&B instrumental performance, right? It's incredible. I mean, look, my girl wants to party all the time. This message is sponsored by Raycon. You know, guy, I love music. I love listening to Raycon because I like the slick style. So slick. But for some reason, the bass is the best on Raycon. It sounds so nice and thick. And let me tell you something. They got the open ear design of these things. You hear music and you hear the world around you, both at the same time. 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They can even trigger a loud siren or spotlight. That's how that's helped to stop a crime before it even started. What does a siren sound like again? I don't know. Because people know, I think, that I have Simply Safe, they don't even try. They don't even try and you better not try. You got a 60 day money back guarantee. So you can try it yourself if you want to try Simply Safe and see the difference for yourself. This is one of the best prices you will ever see for Simply Safe. Don't miss it. This month only, take 50% off any new system. Hit SimplySafe.com slash Bad Friends. Again, go ahead. That's SimplySafe.com slash Bad Friends and lock in your discount. There's no safe like Simply Safe. Anyway, so your mom's here. Yeah. Oh yeah, I forgot you were here. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, I want to know though, your dating life is going good, you're happy, you're feeling free now? I think so. What's going on? Oh, tell them about what happened the other night. We almost died. You and the guy? No, me. No, what? We most, in the house, we almost died. Elephant ghost? Yeah. What happened? So, I'm potting and all of a sudden I hear this beeping throughout the house. Not just downstairs, but upstairs too, like all four of the monitors were beeping. And then I stopped, I went up there, what the fuck is going on? And the main one that was blinking red, at the end of the podcast, I went up there, I go just yank it. And as they yanked it, it said a little ominous thing. You guys, you have carbon monoxide poisoning. So ominous thing. It's a carbon monoxide detector. Yes. And you ripped it out, you need those, keep those. No, we ripped it out. We took it out. We took it out, yeah. No, no, I'm not kidding, put that back. No, we won't. But, and so there was a thing, what do we do here? And I opted to stay. Yeah, and everyone was saying we have to evacuate and Tito Bobby's like, no, I'm gonna play my game. Well, you don't have to stay, but you ripped it. Open the windows, maybe? Yeah, you ripped it up because it was making a noise. Yeah, but I guess the second concern would be dying. That'd be my first. Oh, I see, I switched them. Cause the noise is telling you, hey, it's not safe. And you go turn that off. Yeah, and I was getting mad at him cause he was just laughing. So she's like running around with a cage trying to catch our cats. You know what I mean? And I'm gonna play Outer Worlds too. If I die, I die. And he wouldn't listen, I was like, you have to get out, just go to your girlfriend or something. I don't have a girlfriend. So your girl. He did another worm, back to guzzles. And then he wouldn't go out. Yeah. You gotta, you genuinely. What? You gotta get the thing care of, cause if you get, you won't know. So then what will happen, reluctantly, you mean? I succumb to the actual reality of it. I called the gas company. Yeah, that's a good move. And they came over. Right. And guess what? What? Well, that's a good thing. It's a good thing. My instinct was right, right, McCown? Yeah, I'm a thinker, right? Cause I could smell it a mile away. You know what I can smell? All the shit on his nose. Little fucking loser. I was talking good about you a couple of days ago too. That's out of the window. Yeah, see what happens? You go here, you drift away from this. So you know, as a friend of yours, and I love you very much, right? Stay with this. Okay. But don't go against me. Just don't, you know. No, no, no, I don't want you. You're out. You're out at sea. And you see what happens? You see what happens when you're a traitor? See what happens is the guy who took you, he doesn't really want you. And then you go, oh, can I come back home? Denise, can I come back? That little stint I had with that college co-ed Denise, I'm so sorry, I wanna be home with you and the kids. And Denise is like, we've moved on. The doors are locked. Charles, get a hotel. Oh no. That's to you right now, you're Charles. And Denise, me at the home with the kids, you know, I'm whipping up a cake because I don't want little Daniel to find out why dad he's gone. Because he's with a college co-ed that he met at Barney's Beannery on Friday night. So how about that? How about that? How do you feel now, Charles? Well, you let Rudy go off and come back. Also, McCone said before that he prefers Tito Andrew. Well, when did he say that? When we were hanging out. I do, I do prefer Tito. He said he doesn't really know Tito Bobby. Yeah, but I don't want him anymore. So he's out. Well, I wanna get to this. Yeah, man. Yeah. It's a window that's opened. There's carbon monoxide in the room. Okay. And now you close it. Yeah, yeah. Keep it in here. So when were you guys hanging out? That's what I think more I'm concerned about. I think like two months ago. Yeah. At the same time. Shut up. Yeah. He said to you, I prefer Tito Andrew over Tito Bobby. Interesting. And the reason why? Like you're just not, like he just doesn't like you. Yeah. You don't like me? No, I said you don't open up as much. Like I, especially like even on the bus, I try to be like ask you questions about comedy and like old stories and you'd be like, nah, nah, nah, and you'd go on your, on your switch or you'd be like, I don't do small talk. Do I do a small talk? You do not. I do not. But that wasn't even, that was big talk. No, that's small talk. I was like, you know. No, no, no, no. You know what big talk is? I'm losing my left leg. I go, what's going on? That's big talk. Yeah, yeah, that's big talk. When he refers to small talk and big talk, it's not about the depth or the breadth of the conversation. It's with whom he's speaking with. And you are small talk. Yeah. Would he have small talk with, you know who I was. When we were in Australia, right? Remember Dakota Fanning was there? Yes. And there was some small talk with her. That's fine. I allow a small talk. Dakota gets small talk. Weather is great. You did mention it like four times. What do you mean? She said that at dinner. She goes, your buddy kept talking about the weather. That's fine. Well, because I was starstruck. Small talk with a big person. Yes. He's saying you're small talk with a small person in his life, so he's not interested. Yeah. It can't be that. I think I just learned to temper my expectations. Well, you also mean to me. As well. Yeah. I mean, we have podcast proof of it. How am I supposed to feel? Here's a guy that's supposedly working for us, the company. Should be. I'm a big part of it, right? And you talk to me like I'm garbage. Because I'm not as clever as you are. So I have to go the lowest form, which is being. Beep, beep. Beep. Yeah, you're beeping back, dude. You're beeping back. You're beeping back, dude. Don't do that. Yeah, yeah. We know better. Don't play coy. Don't play coy. Don't play Joe Coy, dude, right? Don't play Coy fish in a pond, pal. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Anyway. It is what it is. But I will say this. But I like what happened today though. And the more of that, I like. It felt like when we watched Jaws on the bus. I love that. See, we did have moments. I know. Yeah, excuse me. Carlos, you're in my heart forever. Thanks, bro. Okay, fancy you're in my heart forever. Yeah. Thank you. No thank you to the other guy. Um. I want to see your mom. Yeah. Let me get your mom in here. Catutra. Catutra. Don't do the, don't do the. Yeah, yeah. Hi. Come sit down. We double hug. No, honey, honey, just real quick. No, just listen to me. I know. But just real quick. Catutra. Catutra. All right, so. Okay. Your other, your daughter, Issa did this. Okay. We love Issa. We love what you've spawned. Yeah. Hello. Oh my God. What a moment for the show. Yeah, what a moment for the show. To see the beginning. The beginning. The person who made the person. You're going to talk into the mic. Can you bring it closer to your mouth? It's it. I'm like. Macon could have done it. You don't need to be. Macon could have done it. So Macon gets nervous and then he fumbles. And there's no reason, that's reason you didn't play sports because under pressure you're terrible. You are so bad under pressure. It is crazy to watch him do that. Ladies and gentlemen, the mother of the great Rudy Jules. Honey is here. Yeah. By the way. The beginning and the end. Don't say that. No, no, don't say that. What do you say? This is your mom. Yeah. Biological mom. My age. We're the same age. I don't know how old are you? 42. No, you're very young. Yeah. I know your age. He mentioned. No, we're the same age. I'm 50. Wow. Yeah. 50. That looks good. Yeah, yeah. That looks good for 50. To me? To him? Yeah, no, no. Calls me monkey. Dude. Ha ha ha ha. But we're friends. No, no, no. What do you say? I never call her that. Yeah, you did. When your eyes dart all over the place. Yeah, you do. I know it's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing's wrong with that. I love Bobby. Yeah, yeah, I don't call you that at all. Stop lying to the fucking fans. Mr. Like, I share it all with the fans. Go ahead, tell the truth. Go ahead and tell the truth. Well, that's not the worst I call her. What's the worst? What's the worst? He bullies her every day. What do you call her? Like what? How do I bully her? You just start screaming at her. And you just start. No, I like the other day. The other day I got, because we have this snack cabinet. Yeah. Like a little room. Everybody has a snack cabinet. What do you call it? Not a snack cabinet. Snack drawer. Pantry? Pantry. A pantry. What do you call the place where the food is? I'm thinking it's a separate thing. That's where all the food goes. Yeah, in the food pantry. Correct. Right. And I walked in there and I go, hmm, you like these friends? You're collecting these friends? And she's like, what do I mean? And I go, there was these ants. Oh, you know what I mean? Just all about stacking. Anyway, so you're, are the ants gone? They're gone. It's your fault. It's not mine. How is it my fault? It's because you keep buying things and you open them and you don't finish them and you put them back in the pantry and the ants come in. God, I want her around all the time. It's really not my fault. It's his fault and he blames me for it. And I keep killing them, all of them. And it comes back the next day. So I have no idea what to do. Okay, now we throw, how about this? Let's make a rule, okay? Let's throw away all the unused food that are open packages. Yeah, but you only get a few of them in a big pack. He gets very little and he closes them back or it doesn't even close them and puts them in a pantry and ants come in. And it's a waste of food. Cheez-its. Is it cheez-its? Yeah, it's a waste of food. I get every flavor. It's so easy to not have ants. It's like, I don't, do you not close up stuff when you're- You know, it's just very much like you to do this. Well, I'm on her side. You keep blaming her for some reason. All right, you're right, I apologize. She has nothing to do with it. That is my fault. Say I'm sorry, genuine. I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry, Bob. What are you saying I'm sorry for? Yay. I just feel like when you're gonna get home, there's gonna be a different conversation. No, no, no, no, no, no, she's, honestly, it's a blessing to have these two in the house. Gotta be. Because, you know, I want life in there. Yeah. You know, because there are times when they're not there and I'm alone in the house and I get really depressed. When I, like sometimes I'll like, you know, at three and four in the morning I go, I need a cookie. Right? And I'll just go and then, you know what I mean? She just, she sleeps anywhere, this girl. On the ground, you know what I mean? And I'll just be walking in the dark and then I'll just, you know what I mean? She'll say something. I'll go, right? On that couch when you sleep there? Yeah, yeah, but yeah, I like the life in the house. They breed three dogs. And we have the dogs and the cats. It feels like there's life there. That's healthy. Yeah. But you're not alone. You know, I savor my sovereignty. Is that an AA quote? What is that? No, it's not. No, it's not, no. It should be. Yeah, I think that's true freedom. Savoring your sovereignty. Of my peace, of mind. Good. Because all they do is, you know, chase, chase, chase. Dopamine hits, dopamine hits. And I have to just stay in the moment and just know that everything that I have in my life is perfect. That's all. You believe that? No. But I wanna believe it. I mean, I've listened to a lot of Alan Watts and different things. I wanna believe it. You can want anything. You have to take action. The way he did that. There's a lot behind that. It was... What's your body count, honey? Because she wouldn't tell me earlier. You promised you would. Just say it, man. Body count. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like sex. I know that. I don't know Bobby. I don't wanna... You don't count? That was one. That was a two. He said 15. 15, 15. Mama said she has a crush on you. You have a crush on me? No, I've never seen you. I was... You said that, and she's none of you. You have a crush on me? Fuckin' the mic. She does? What's with the mic? So people can hear you? Hey, it's a show. Like mother, like daughter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. You have a crush on me? No. Yeah, she thinks you're really cute. Honey, who's better looking? I love you, Bobby. But you're amazing. You're amazing. But then I was... Why does this bother you so much? Is it because I might move in? No, I mean, I remember one time you were on stage at one of our big shows. Yeah. And I went in the audience to see you and this hot chick next to me, she goes, your friend is so hot. That's a lie. This is a made up story. I swear to God on my mother's life that happened. Okay. And I looked at her and I went, yeah. And I just, that's the, you're a handsome guy. You're a very handsome boy too. I'm cute for a specific demographic. Yeah, for good looking women. Okay. Anyway, you have a crush on Andrew? I love this. No. Go ahead, Rudy, tell us all about it. I just think you're very intelligent. So Honey was early on in our life was a meth addict. Awesome. Cool. That was... How many years did you do meth? Just not even years. How many years? It's been a year. Like a year? That's not a year. I heard it got bad. Is meth, it's called shabu in the Philippines? Shabu. Shabu. Shabu, like sabu, a little convenient to name it after the city. Yeah, it's the cheapest. What does it consist of, chemically? I don't know. Do you snort it? Yeah. Not snort. You use... Smoke it. Yeah, you know, I think you use a pipe. You piped it. You pipe it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How old are you when that happened? 20. 20, you know what happened? Kalila's dad shaved her head. We really need to... Yeah, yeah, shaved her head and tied her to a radiator. And it worked. Yeah, that sounds right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Before like a month, though, I heard. Yeah, it got bad. Yeah, it got bad. America needs to handle its drug problem like that. I know. Tie these guys to a fucking radiator. I know. That worked, right? And you never thought about drugs again? Never again. Yeah. She doesn't even drink. I don't drink. I don't do anything. She didn't do anything. She used you to get loose. Yoga. Yoga, exercise. Yeah. You love to exercise. Yeah, a lot. Wow. She didn't even eat bread. The kind of stuff in my house is like... Yeah, I'm on a keto diet. Yeah. Yeah. God, that's crazy. Low carb. Yeah, no carb, yeah. That's crazy. It's crazy. To live in your house, because it's all filled with shit to eat. Candies. Candy and bullshit. Yeah, all kinds of exotic candies. Yeah, and you order things for me and I don't eat it, it gets mad. I get mad. Like, I'll go, like I'll get a breakfast burrito from. You just get it like that. You gotta eat it. But what they do is, you know, you go, I'm gonna go to Jersey Mike's. Yeah. You get him the sandwich. Right. And then all of a sudden, they're taking it apart, taking the innards and putting it on different bread. Just get the sub and a tub. What's that? Sub and a tub. They do Jersey Mike's. You get the sub without the bread. Sub and a tub. Yeah, you can get it. But you'll put it on keto bread. Oh, you want it on bread, just not. Just not normal bread. Yeah, stuff like that. What is keto bread? Not smart. I don't know what it is. It's low carb, no carb, or they use some other ingredients. It's a low carb bread alternative made with ingredients like almond flour, coconut flour, silim, husk, eggs, and healthy fats instead of traditional wheat flour. Does it taste the same? Tastes good. But does it break apart differently? It's good. They make it good here. Oh, they do? Oh, what, in the Philippines? Yeah, but the Philippines don't make anything good. Yeah, but do you eat a lot of bread in the Philippines? No. Yeah, there's a lot of it. I have a bakery, but I don't eat the bread in the Philippines. Yeah. I feel in traditional Filipino food, is there bread involved? Yes, a lot of bread, as in really good bread. They would know. We should go to Cebu because she has a store there. I have a store in the Philippines who sells bread. What's it called? It's Lola Fees, Fez Bakery. You sound like you just made it up. No, it's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're talking the mic. Lola Fez Bakery. Lola Fez, what street is it on? It's in the Philippines. It's in Marigundan Beach. She don't know. Marigundan Beach. He knows about it. He's trying to the place. Yeah, Andre. Andre, wait, wait. Andre, you're at Marigundan Beach? Yeah, Lola, L-O-L, yes, and space. Just put Cebu in the Philippines. Cebu. Oh, no, you just put Honey's Bakery because we just changed the name, Honey's H-O-N-E-Y. Jesus. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry we changed it. Honey's Apostrophe Z Bakery. That one, that one, second. Yeah, there, that's the one, yes. That's my bakery. Wow. It's so funny, she's been living with my house in three months, she hasn't baked me shit. Not one thing have you baked me. I'm not a baker. She's not the baker. I'm the owner of the bakery, not the baker. What's the baker's name? I have many bakers. Well, name it after one of them. Yes, that's L-O-L-O-Y. Is that you, beyond the counter? No, that's my cashier. Oh, that's cashier. This is false marketing. Honey's not even there and she's definitely not baking any of that shit. And that's your store next to it, right? Yes, it is. I've been in there. Yes, that's where we had Tiger Belly. We did a Tiger Belly there and also we ate... Balloot. Balloot there. Balloot, yes. Do you sell Balloot at your store? No. Yeah, yeah. The worst, that day was one of the worst days of my life on the show. Do you sell cigarettes at that store next door? Yes, yes. I hope so. Have you been to Cebu? It's so beautiful. Look at that, the name of the store looks like it's Marble. It's Lola Fe store. Lola Fe. What's Lola Fe mean? It's a grand, grand Marfe. Wow. That's the name, name, or yeah. That's great. Why the big Marble sign? Because we sell the cigarette. Everybody smokes. Does everybody smoke in the Philippines? Yeah, almost everybody. Wow. You don't smoke? I used to. Rudy, you don't smoke? Look at that, you can get all kinds of stuff. Yes, chicken, rice, everything. Name it, you have it. What's the weirdest thing you have there? Like sulfate. Yeah, probably. Why sulfate? I don't know. It smells birth control, it's doing condoms. Yeah, birth condoms, birth control. Is the birth control also in those rice pins on the floor? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a stack of them. Do you have like a plan B? What plan B? Oh no, that's not legal. We don't have it there. Is abortion illegal in the Philippines? It's illegal. It is? Yeah. Wow. Yeah, they have plans. That's why you have so many kids. Yeah, that's why we have a lot of kids. Yeah, yeah. How many times do you see the man who slices brother in half with a machete? Oh, DiFarlo. Oh. Yeah, do you see him often? Often. Yeah, yeah. There's a man that slices brother in half and he walks the street. He's my uncle. Oh. I've met him many times. Sliced him in half. Yeah. Wow. It was scary. And now he's just walking around. A family's evil. Yeah, but I remember, so when I first went, I knew about this uncle and he was at the airport. You were hugging him. I immediately, because I don't wanna get sliced. Yeah, the machete, man. Well, you know somebody has sliced somebody with a machete, but you hug them immediately. Uncle Machete! Hi! And I think I said something like, hey, you know I'm a scoundrel. Yeah, you are. I'm a survivor. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, hey, whatever your family needs. Anything you need. Anything you need. You have to sharpen your machete? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can buy you a brand new machete. I can buy you as many as you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How many machete, yeah, so. Any guy that cuts someone in half, you really stay on their side. You stay, yeah. I just, I've never seen anyone walk around in society who's sliced somebody in half with a machete. And he didn't serve any time at all? He did. How long? 15. 15 years? Yes, he got paroled. I was gonna say. He got paroled. Yeah. So in the Philippines, you can kill somebody and then. Got paroled. You can get paroled. We do that all the time here in the States. Oh, that's true. People get out for murder all the time here. In fact, a lot of people here kill people and they don't even fucking get, they don't, nothing happens. Yeah. That's the craziest part. Then you hear of a case where someone will do something like stupid and small and they'll get nine years and you're like, what? That's the same as the guy who killed somebody. Yeah. Last kind of, may I ask some more questions? Please, I'm not gonna. I can go now? No. No, no, no. Not after you said I was cute, you're staying. Yeah, yeah. Talk more in the mic and that's, you know. The mic is here. I know, and you move over like this. Okay, okay, okay. She's doing fine. How do you feel? Because in Cebu, beautiful island, I've been there a couple of times. I might go back in a couple of months with the family. Yeah. How do you feel about the Koreans there? We hate the Koreans there. We hate the Koreans there, but we hate them. They're fine. Why? They help the economy, so they're fine. The Koreans there are so cocky. They're trying to get the land. Yeah, but they're mean. They're owning all the buildings, all the hotels. I'll tell you what, they're mean here too. That's not just over there. Yeah, yeah. Philippines. Yeah. But I see their behavior there. They look down on me. Why? Because you're an American Korean? I think so. They don't respect shit from me. Wow. I mean, I come up with my plan. What's up, dawg? You know how I do it, dude? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're always blinked off. With my sway, you know what I mean? Yeah, your sway? Yeah. Your swag? Whatever. Yeah. What's up, dude? So what, you guys get there? Is it a large contingency of Koreans? There's a lot down there. Yeah, large. It's like Korean. And the pale ones. The pale ones, and they hate us there because we're just brown. But it's your land. Well, they actually have money. Yeah, well, they have money. They can put up a lot of businesses so that they can hate us and we can't do anything about it. This is very dark. Why? I don't like that. I don't like it either. That's so fucked up. It's fucked up. Well, they're richer than we are, so. Yeah, but that doesn't make it right. Imperialism. Imperialism. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. That's not good. Maybe a form of colonization. Is it? No, it's not. Okay. I was gonna, Philip, you know what I'm saying? That they are superior because they have paler skin and we always praise them, the more money and we just think that they're like so beautiful. Yeah, the white skin. You don't feel that way. No, I hate them. They're good. Good for you. I love it. Yeah. Do you hate Korean Americans or just Koreans over there? Just Koreans over there. But Korean Americans, how about them? I'm okay with them. Most of them. Most of them. What about Koreans in Korea? Should I start charging rent? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not saying no. You're charging things? I'm saying Koreans in the Philippines. I'll give you a birthday present today. Oh my God. Right? Would the Cebu Koreans do that? No. No. Okay, watch your mouth. So funny. Yeah. You're not even Korean. Yeah, you're not even Korean. You're Sandy. What do you mean by that? She's right. You're not Korean. What am I? Look into those eyes. You're an American. Oh, if you can. You're an American. I'm an American. Yeah. You're an American. God bless. You're about as American as it gets. You're born in San Diego. You did live the white American life. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so. And that's why you don't want me to go out with you and the other Koreans. Cause you're embarrassed about the lack of your own culture. This is really what it's fancy. I love it. That's what this is. Yeah. Cause you don't go to church like all those Koreans did when you were, you know, like, you're not a church Korean. You're not one of them. Yep. Oh wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow. Your dad owned businesses. Yeah. So one thing the Philippines has that we don't, that you just can't get here that you miss more than anything in the world. The Filipino delicacies like the bud bud. It's a rice cake. Wood bud. You wrap it in a... What is the repeating of things that you guys... How is it in the Philippines? They want to make sure that you heard them. Bud bud. B-U-D-B-U-D. Bud bud. Car car. Sing sing. Yeah, yeah. Bang bang. Correct. Correct, correct, correct, correct. Let's say a couple of just... You know what I mean? Bud bud. Yeah. Oh, rice cake. So good. Is this something? Tok tok. Tok tok is knock. Yeah. See? They just say it. Yeah, but... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's elementary. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. Tok tok, it's... Tok tok, it's like... All right. That's where they got it from. How about ping ping? You can say that. But is there anything that's... But there's no such thing as ping ping. What about buckty? What? Buckty. Buckty. Buckty. Buckty. What do you know? Nothing. No, no, buckty. Okla. Yeah, okla. Okra the vegetable? Yeah. Oh. They're just naming things that are... Yeah, bokeh toh. Yeah. Broccoli, broccoli. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's interesting. What? How do you say mango? What's mango? Manga. Manga. Then what do you call the fucking cartoon illustrations? Huh? What? Anime. They call them mangas, right? Manga. So there's a difference between manga and manga? Manga. Oh, no, but it's manga, right? The manga is just manga. Manga. There's no S. Manga. And the other thing is what? Mangas. Manga. Manga. Oh. Have you ever seen that on TikTok? Sometimes the guy will say, How do you say frog in Japanese? And how do you say... And it'll all be the exact same word, like five times. Have you ever never heard of it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know how to explain this video. But he'll say it to... Oh, there, it's the second video. Second one down. Second. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, this guy. Watch, this is fascinating. What's rain in Japanese? Ame. How about candy? Ame. Ame. Ame. Okay. Oh. I have another one. What's frog? Kaeru. And to change? Kaeru. Okay, stop, push pause. Hey, dude, are you gonna frog? Kaeru. No, it's a change. What? Wait, is that what you're saying? Like frog and change is the same word? Yeah. But the longer version of this is... I don't like those pants, you should frog it. That's actually kind of cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Frog it. Frog those pants. Yeah, frog those pants right now. He says, there's one compilation where he's like Kaeru, Ka-Kai, Ka-Kai, Ka-Kai, Ka-Kai, Ka-Kai, Ka-Kai, The longest one is like nine times of him saying the same word with like little tiny inflection. And it's saying, They say they're hard workers, but they're kind of lazy. They're kind of lazy. They got lazy with their language a little bit. It's insane. It's crazy. Is that it? It might be. This is 6.1. How do you say shoulder in Japanese? Kata. How about stiff? Kata. How about I bought a shoulder massager? Kata tatataki kata. How about this? I bought a shoulder massager because my shoulder was stiff, but it was hard to use on my shoulders. Kata tatatakata. Kata katatakata. Kata katatakata. Kata tataki niku kata. I mean, isn't this basically the thesis of this show? Yes. That's like this show. Yeah. Kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata. Yeah, you guys both... It's translated that in English. Sh-sh-shoulders. Sh-sh-shoulders. Shoulders, shoulders, shoulders, shoulders. My back shoulders. He's actually saying I bought a shoulder massager, but it was hard to massage my shoulders. Oh, wow. Kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata kata. That's incredible. Wow. But we're going to get you some bad bad and pu-pu-t and snuck-tuck. Yeah. And duck-tuck. We're going to get you all that good shit. Karkark. Karkark. Adobo. Singang. What's sinigang? Sinigang, it's soup. Sour soup. Oh, I like sour soup. Yeah. It's so good. There's a bread that's called borikat. Borikat. It's red. English definition is a slut. What's the grossest thing you could eat in the Philippines? Balut. Balut is bif- thank you. I keep saying that. I don't like balut. You love it. That's the grossest thing you can eat there? I mean, it's like a half alive bird. It's not alive. It's fermented. I know. But it's like half birth. You would try it though. Oh, you tried it? We did. I threw up. I threw up. Yeah. It's a fertilized duck egg. But you can see the duck. Yeah, the brains, all that stuff. La la la la la. La la la la la. Yeah. Balut and quenalas. A noodle soup that features brains from a pork or beef had served in a thick. The pig's blood, I guess, is also. No, pig's blood is good. I eat it. How did even balut come about? Like, we should cook the egg now. No, we'll wait seven months. Yeah. You know what I mean? Right. Is it a lit- what was that? Well, I don't know. Some is, but it's a delicacy, is it not? No. It's a number of days. If you keep it for plenty of days. What's abuso? Abuso? Abul. Abul. Sauteed weaver ants. I've never tried that. I've never seen abul. Ooh, that sounds really good. What's pinnecan pecking? Wait, pinnecan pecking. Pinnecan. Pinnecan pecking. Pinnecan. Pinnecan pecking. It's a dish made by beating a live chicken. Oh my god, dude. You tell me about that. Tell me about pinnecan pecking. I've never tried it. You have to know about it. You're from there. What is a pinnecan pecking, man? That's insane, dude. All right. Do you have any words of wisdom, honey, to leave us with before we go? Do you guys eat dog there? Some people do, but I don't. Our uncles. OK. They did it? Yeah, I saw. What kind? What kind? Any kind of dog. It was like a stray dog. And they just got it, and they started peeling off the skin. OK, all right. Anyway, thank you for being a bad friend. Is that it? That's such a good end. Started peeling. You guys have to do it. Will you look in the camera at the same time and say thank you for being a bad friend? One, two, three. Thank you for being a bad friend. God, they sound the exact same, too.