#3217 The Valley Persian Style S1E07: Slip n’ Snide

Prime Video offers the best in entertainment. This should be fun. Jason Momoa and Dave Bautista go completely down in the hilarious new action film The Wrecking Crew. Inbegrepen by Prime. Yeah, I'm pumped. Find the new Game of Thrones series A Night of the Seven Kingdoms. Based on the bestseller of George R.R. Martin. Look by being a member of HBO Max. So be brave, be just. So whatever you want to find, Prime Video. Here you look at everything. Abonnement is revised. In-house conferencing is 18+. Algemene voorwaarden zijn van toepassing. Hello there. How's it going? Good. Everybody, welcome. It is the Valley Person Style Day. And we've got two weeks from today until the Golden Crappies on February 27th at the Fonda Theater in Hollywood. Get your tickets at WatchWhatCrappens.com. That's also where you will find links to live streaming tickets through Kiswi. Get them over there. Also, the next round of voting, which is the round. It's the round for the actual awards. You guys did first round voting. That went really well. And now you're going to vote on the nominations for the crappies. So that starts Monday. And you can find links to that on our social, Instagram, or on our website. Also, if you want videos, video recaps, or you want ad-free listening, or you want bonus episodes about traders, or you want our free newsletter, Go sign up at Patreon, patreon.com slash watch what groupings. And now, today, the traitors. I mean, the valley. Well, it could be the traitors. They all backstab each other on this show all the time. But it's the valley, Persian style. Traitors, Persian style. Well, we left off. Persian traitors believe in feeding each other. bitches be like you're not faithful so um we were at this restaurant where uh reza jacks has uh arranged slash ambushed sky and tanin so that way they can have some sort of resolution and uh tanin's like wait what is happening i'm like really confused he's like oh it's exactly what it looks like it's happening it's happening but i think for the sake of the friendship let's just like be in a setting where it's calm and we can have a conversation which i think is so adorable when people say that to reality stars and restaurants as if like restaurants have not been the arenas for so many flip outs and flip tables. God, especially for Sky today. Jeez, she's real. She does not give a shit if she's in a restaurant, that's for sure. And Tonin's like, um, this is unpleasant. I did not expect to be set up. Like, your ego won't even allow you to call me, so now I have to go to lunch and pretend to eat around you. Uh, and Ressa's like, okay, well, I'm just gonna be over there, but I am gonna do something tricky, and take your purses because women can't live without purses. Am I right? It's kind of a good move, to be honest, because people love storming out. So he's like, you take their purses away because they can't leave. Genius. So now the woman, he leaves, which I think is crazy because I thought they were going to have some sort of like referee. Yeah, you should sit there and help them work it out. What the heck? Yeah, work it out, man. So Tanin's like, well, I guess the floor is yours. I mean, you're the one who experienced a lot of things. And you were there. You saw what happened. That night was too much and heavy. And I want you to have my back and you didn't. Okay. Yes. And this is where I was very pissed off and disappointed, especially your husband. He started to attack. She's like, first and foremost, Reza started the conversation, not Greg. And she's like, no, it was Greg. No, it was Reza. And then we see the night at dinner. Of course it was Reza. It's always Reza. This is not a mystery to be solved on this show. If shit has been started, it was Reza. Okay. and so we see a clip where russ is like oh we're going to look at a million dollar house so you can ease up on the shopping okay lady it's like you grew up with a silver spoon in your mouth and a trust fund or something you're a waiter from shabba shukis bitches be like i'm rich and i'm better than everyone else so then tannin's like you were ambushed and I feel so bad for that. She's like, oh, you do? You feel bad for me? You do? Really? This is my sarcastic voice. The sky is relentless and I love it. It's like, oh, you feel bad? The sky is vicious. So Tanien's like, well, it's just the way you're approaching it is offending people. It feels like you're above and they're beneath you. She goes, oh, but they are. They are beneath me. Everybody is pretending that they want to be very classy and things but nobody's acting classy acting like a hyena sitting waiting for a moment to jump on it's so beneath me i can't go that low okay i go to ero one i do not go to ralph's as much as i want to go look down on people but listen sometimes you have no choice sometimes you have to look down on someone and tony's like okay well reza said the serum thing it's just oh that you went behind my back and you talked to reza about the serum thing that's what you did because okay and i apologize because I would have felt bad if Reza brought that up to me. Okay. But then you come back to me with giving me discounts. Like, look at the discounts I gave you. I mean, that's the first thing that came to your mind. And she goes, well, yes, because Reza said exactly after my wife spent thousands of dollars. Your husband said my wife spent thousands of dollars on your supporting your business. If your wife wanted out my pieces, it wasn't just because of supporting my business. She wants to have a piece. And she did come to me. And I gave her a bargain on my pieces. yeah well we saw the prices of your pieces and they are way overpriced so you giving a bargain the silly it's like one of those facebook ads it's like get a ban for your apple watch normally nine thousand dollars today only a hundred i'm doing you yeah you want me to believe that sky has a trunk show and tanin doesn't buy a piece from the trunk show and sky is like totally going to be fine with it no of course he's going to buy something not only because she's a good friend but she also knows that you're going to have a meltdown if she doesn't buy a stupid trinket so yeah it's like i yes i do support my friend's business correct and it's thousands of dollars that's correct yeah but you never pay full price or even the price that anyone has ever paid uh it's like okay so yes thank you for giving me a discount for when i'm spending thousands of dollars on your stuff because otherwise you probably have a meltdown but i'm still spending thousands of dollars on your stuff yeah and um tending's like yeah but i am still supporting you right and sky is like well i'm not a serving student i that i need this money so bad that i'm dying oh really well you are desperately trying to move out of a house and you can't afford to so you kind of are you had a meltdown because there was no proper bartender for your trunk show so i guess it seems like you are pretty desperate to have like the perfect event to sell your you need the money you need the money yeah the money and she's like i just want to support you and she She goes, thank you. She goes, okay, but that's, you know, we're friends and that's what I do for my friends. She goes, let me tell you something. Everything started with that night. She's like, not for me. It started with the serum. She goes, okay, for me, good enough. Okay, you want to say skincare? Fine. I'm like, you know what? In your eyes, I fucked up. Okay, I get it. That was not my intention, but I fucked up. From the bottom of my heart, I'm very sorry that I care about my child's dog's moisturizing. But, you know, I care about my dog. Well, thank you. And we're missing the Persian culture here where it's like thoughtful and tarot, which means humility. And it's beautiful and it's hospitality and it's family. It's just, it's very sad to me. And eventually it had to be said that if it did mean anything to you at any time, that you have to show that that's enough for you to want to hear the other side. So I guess she's trying to say like, I accept your apology, but like, why, like, why was this so hard? Right. Is that what she's trying to say here? Like, where's the humility? Where's the, oh, no, my friend is upset in all this. Yeah. She's saying if we're really family and close friends, then you can't just cut me off every time we have a fight. And this guy's like, well, I'm in a very tough spot with every single person here. And she goes, yeah, I'm sure you are. And I don't even know how. I don't even know how to talk to people like right now. Well, not by being an asshole. You know, you're going to have to at some point be like, OK, I didn't mean to diss the valley. I was being snotty. Sorry, everybody. I'll chill. That's it. Nothing can really justify what she did. She didn't stand up. She didn't speak up. She didn't stop Greg. It's not acceptable to me. This conversation didn't change my mind at all, but I have no idea where we're going from here. I'm like, but you were being obnoxious to Tanine. So why would Tanine tell her husband to stop defending you? I mean, I know Greg said the thing about like, hey, stop being a dick about the Valley. That's where I'm from. but uh i think greg was being really gross actually at that dinner and so was reza and they were screaming at a woman and greg being like oh yeah well you don't got a choice honey good luck you got to stay in your house because you can't afford anything else honey i mean i think he was an asshole and i think tani did start that shit by going to reza and saying you know she did this with my thing and then reza brought it up in public and started a fight and all of this And so I would be pissed if I was Sky, too. I think that Tani wasn't being a good friend to her. And I think her husband was being a shithead. And she should have been like, stop yelling at my friend, dude. It's weird. So I think Sky has a point. It's just that Sky topped it by being ruder than everybody else and basically being like, I don't care. Allie's gross. And you're all gross. And I don't care. And then she turned it to the like, oh, and I've given you discount on my stuff. Like, she gets so nasty instead of just having the conversation. She could have walked away looking like she was in the right in that one, but she just didn't play it well. Bless her heart. I like her. She's my favorite one on the show. She's still my favorite as well. She's wrong. She's wrong. They basically leave this conversation feeling like nothing's really changed. Nothing's really moved. Sky isn't getting what she wanted out of Tanine. Tanine's not getting what she wanted out of Sky. Their friendship is going to move to a more surface-y space. So now we go to MJ and Tommy's. They basically both say, still hate the bitch. All right, next scene. Can I have my bag back? It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crapins commercial. So we go to MJ and Tommy's house and Tommy's like, Hey, Shams, stop leaving the trash around, okay? God, where are you getting all these popsicle sticks from? God! So then Shams leaves and Mercedes and Tommy are sitting around. What's going on? She's like, well, right now it's been a while since I've sold a house and this is a very scary market for real estate agent. I feel like she's, is MJ trying to like leave clues to a secret treasure hunt? Like she's like, listen to the words that I slow down on. She's always, she talks and she's always talked like this. It's like, she's waiting for a fax to come through and she's reading it off. She's like, yeah, it's been like a long time since I sold a house and this is a very scary. Could you change the ink? Can somebody change the ink? All of the most productive real estate agents have not sold that much in a long time. And our nest egg, if I don't produce, I get worried a lot. So she basically says that Tommy's built like a podcast network and it's just starting off because they do that show or they did that show. I don't know if they still do it. Till the dirt. Till the dirt. Till the dirt. Till the dirt. A podcast company and the ground floor means Tommy is doing nothing but spending your money and sitting around his house all day in fucking sweats. I'm sorry. You can make it sound as good as you want to, but you don't start a podcast. Now, if he doesn't have like investors giving him money to sit around and it's just coming from you, he needs to get off his ass and do that in his spare time. He needs to get a job and do that in his spare time. spoken from somebody who started a podcast not a podcast network but a podcast and didn't get to not have another job for years you don't just say like i'm not going to do anything because i have a podcast now that's bullshit sir get off your fucking lazy ass and get to work he's definitely not giving the energy of someone who is scrambling to put together a podcast network every time we see him he's just sitting on a sofa or like you know going out to lunch with vita or something like that. Like we don't see this guy like, like hustling and bustling. I know it's just what Bravo shows. There could be more going on. Okay. It could be a nice sign from Alibaba does not make a podcast network. Get a job. Yeah. So the pressure's on Mercedes to keep everything, you know, afloat. So she's like, I have to market myself or else I'm going to be a one house Wanda, but I need to be a multi-house. Oh God. You don't want to be a one house Wanda. That's for sure. Be a multi-house mayor. So she's like, look, I'm having a Twilight Open house. I'm inviting the agency agents, all the gang. And everybody's like, where's Tommy? You know, you need to come. And he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not doing this. I'm not doing this. Stop it right now. I'm not going. She's like, doing what? He's like, I don't like them. And that's it. That's it. You understand? And he starts getting really mad because I'm sure he's told her a million times. If you want to do this show, do it. But I'm not doing it. There's no way you're getting me in this situation again. Yeah. Even though the podcast network seems to be based off of their podcasts, which has traction because MJ was on the traders and is on Bravo. So it's a tricky thing. Like it's, you know, I think my heart really just sort of rests with like Tommy did go through hell because of Reza. And there's just no reasonable way to expect him to drop everything to just do this. But then I just also went through hell. Tommy also went through hell because of Tommy. Tommy's decisions are Reza. You know, Reza has been poking people for years on this on this channel. He's been ruining lives, doing whatever he can. to be a messy little evil queen. He's been doing it for years, but not everybody assaults him and goes to their house and tries to kill them and destructs property. Tommy did that to himself. That's the thing. That's the thing. And it's like, not only that, so it's like, like I understand that Tommy went to jail and like his life was massively affected by this, but it was Tommy's choice to go over there. And on top of that, it's like, I can't help but also feel like I really do understand where MJ is coming from. Like it sucks. Like my husband won't come with me to anything. He's not, He won't even come to the things that like don't have resa there. And like, this is like, she's the, she's like the primary breadwinner is basically what she's saying. And if the podcast network is basically built off of her fame and her success, he needs, she needs him to help her be successful, to help the podcast be something. Right. So like, even just the podcast, I think she's trying to say like, listen, I already the one the pot people are listening to the podcast for me I out with a real job as well as doing that Plus I doing this TV show which is our biggest job of all because we finally back on TV This is a huge job for me. And you won't even do that. Like I even got you that job and you won't show up to, to, to film. Like if you have to fight with people and you have to do whatever, get off your ass. It's a job. Like make it entertaining. Fight with Reza. Like what do I have to do? Just don't talk to him. Don't engage with him. Like I can't, like I need to do this. This is like our family. This is, I need this paycheck. And like, I know you want me to make a concession for you, but you need to make a concession for me. And it's hard because their concessions are, are against each other. But I think that for me, like, I don't know if it, I think I would, I think I would just get over my shit. And I think the point that you make is a really strong one is that like, this didn't happen in a vacuum. and Tommy went over and he did do, he was the one who threw those pots around. It seemed to overkill what Reza was, you know, put him through. But honestly, Tommy did it first. Well, yeah, Reza's an asshole. Like I'm not, yeah, Reza's a piece of shit, but he's always been a piece of shit. That's who Reza is on this show. He's like the villain of the show. He's like the hero and the villain of the show. So that's what he does. Tommy is the one. It's like I had a friend who got a DUI and she accused, she went to a party and the girl she went to a party for had invited this girl's ex and she didn't know and so she got shit-faced at this like really really drunk at this party and then this guy shows up so she left the party and drove all the way from Santa Monica back to Silver Lake and got a DUI and blames the friend for her getting a DUI because a friend shocked her and I'm like no you got in the car fall down drunk like no one did that well but she didn't tell me this i said but you still got so drunk like you cannot blame somebody else for your dui and i feel like that's tommy it's like do you know he ruined my life i had depression yeah because you have a and he's like i'm with the anger management and he's screaming i'm like you're screaming at your wife on camera how did that anger management work out for you like how is that working how is this therapy working where you like can't even like you're you're in control of your own responses and reactions so knowing that you have that power like just be there for your wife like i think in a perfect world they wouldn't have to be in this situation but like this is their lot in life which is that like mj's career is a reality star and you're banking your entire podcast network off of her fame you built it off of her fame, essentially. If Tommy had an actual job and he was like, listen, I know that you want to be back on TV. I don't want it. I'm never going to do it, but I support you wanting to do it as long as you keep me out of it. And he actually had a job and was contributing. I would think of this differently. I would be like, that's unfair to put him in the situation. He said he's uncomfortable. We've seen a lot of husbands on these shows, not film. They're like, I'm not going to do it, you know? And that's always okay. The reason for Tommy, the reason for me that it's not okay with Tommy is that he's not doing anything. He's not contributing and saying you have a podcast network is bullshit and you're not contributing. And she's, this is now her third job. If you're going to include podcasts as a job, she's working three and you're doing nothing. So unless you do something, you don't have a say here. That's what I say. Right now. I will say this. There's something else I'd like to add, which is that there is also a space where MJ could just say to her friends, you guys stop fucking asking me if Tommy's going to come. You guys know what the situation is. you're putting me in a hard spot because now you're putting pressure on me to have to ask him and like this is makes him really on unhappy and it's hard on our marriage and like yes i would love it if he could come but he can't and because part of that is because of what you did reza and like that's just the way it is so just stop fucking asking me you know that's true uh like i think that that's true but i think that also she probably doesn't want tommy at these parties she seems pretty over tommy and tommy's so gross i mean he's always been gross but tommy's like yeah i just fought i just burped i just took a huge shit at our anniversary like he thinks he's so hilarious it's gross it's disgusting and i'm sure she does not care if tommy is not out with her while she's trying to like be a classy person to be an agency you know i'm sure she doesn't mind that he's not there but she wants him there to make entertainment you know it's like well listen we have the opportunity i think she wants him there as a partner i think that like when you go into these situations and you never know whenever you go into shoot and like is reza go like you never know if that's the day you walk into the party and reza's going to ambush you and you just want to have backup and you're with everyone else who is a couple and then you can't have your person there um that's hard and especially honestly at a work event it's really nice to have someone it's nice to have your person there so that way you know when things are like if it's like boring or annoying or someone says you can just always like this the drive home and he can be like can you believe what so-and-so said or whatever i think that's like the value of having your person so i understand why she wants him there uh is he probably the best look at a fancy open house probably not but but at the same time though like you know in an ideal world you don't put your buffett on his armpits i was really gonna sell this house i know in an ideal world though if your spouse is massively uncomfortable being around someone in your world. You've got to take your spouse's side. This is a really, really complicated one, which I think actually is something that makes this show compelling because there really is no easy answer to this because I go back and forth. You want to support your spouse and you want to say, why should I put my spouse in a situation where they're so uncomfortable? But then you also want to say, but shouldn't he also feel the same way that she's going and having to shoot this show to support this family and she has to go at it alone over and over and over again because I can't, I can't get over my own shit, you know? And also quite frankly, holding onto this anger and this resentment, resentment is going to eat him alive. It will, it's going to destroy him. I don't know. I I'm, I'm all over the map on this one. Yeah. Well, she, you know, it's, it's a mess. It's actually, it's very like, this is, this is actually the messiness of life. I hate to be trite about it, but it's true. Yeah. But, I mean, I think it just boils down to he didn't want to do it, but he's not doing anything else. And part of the reason he was in trouble is him. I mean, the whole reason he was in trouble is him. He wouldn't have gone to jail if he hadn't done what he did. He wouldn't have gone to jail for what Reza did. You know what I mean? Reza wouldn't have gone to jail for what he did. Tommy went to jail for what Tommy did. So he's got to take some personal responsibility. So he's like, you know, some things are irreparable and you can forgive, but you can't be forgetful because that's going to come back on you if you're not careful. Well, yeah, it is, but that's what being on TV is. It's like so. He's like, he's not worth my time. I do not care about him. She goes, okay, well, let's just, you know, it doesn't have to be Reza. I have a lot of friends, you know, and you don't have a negative history with them yet. You know, lots of people are still waiting to screw us over. Come on, man. I don't want to hear any more about it. I don't want to hear any more about Natasha or Boris or fucking Hickle and Jekyll and Clyde. I don't give a fuck unless it's Mr. Met. I will hang out with Mr. Met. But do you understand? Do you understand what makes me happy? I want to do what makes me happy, which is sticking my hand in my armpit and firing out the national anthem for the champs. Yeah, which is staying home, doing nothing. And she's like, well, I'm the stable one. And I've come through for us. And you've not come through for me. And he's like, oh, well, you've really lucked out, man. I'm a shitty husband. Well, someone said it. I mean, yeah, like no one's going to argue with you. And she's like, yeah, I'm not supported. And I feel like a Stockholm Syndrome wife. Like, what the fuck? She's like, I'm frozen, Elsa, not doing anything and just going like, I guess I'm okay with that, but I'm not. And she's like, you just threw your hands up in the air. And he's like, it's never going to be what you want it to be. Which is basically, and that's his attitude, you know. Like earlier when he's like, then just divorce me then. If you're not happy, I'm not going to make any changes. You fucking divorce me then. It's like, well, be careful what you ask for, buddy. Wow She won't just be a one house Wanda She'll be a one house Wanda divorcee So now we go to Gigi's car And she's driving with Elijah and he's Like just talking on his walkie talkie Like he's talking to the police and he's like So if bad guys break into the house And steal all the money that we have what happens He's like do you think a bad guy is gonna Break into our house where the dogs That we have don't the bad guys Know I love knives and I'm very Violent I love that this kid is already practicing talking on walkie talkies to the police and getting them to his house because you're going to need that skill, kid. He's like, wow, mommy, isn't it scary? Bad people could come into your house. The bad person is already in your house. It's her. She's driving you to school right now, sir. So then we go over to Reza, who is meeting with a jeweler. and basically he is going he's interested in having his dad's ashes turned into or put into or something with a pendant and so he talks about his dad they take the carbon from dead people and they turn them into diamonds now i'm sorry but i'm not told what part of this car where the carbon came from it could have come from the face very pretty it could have come from their asshole i I don't want like my dead meemaw's asshole diamond. I don't want that. Who came up with this idea? I hate it. Yeah. So Reza talks about his dad. It's a very nice moment. And he's, of course, very emotional about his dad passing and everything. And MJ comes and joins. And they're looking at the jewelry. And MJ's like, can I ask how much? And this woman goes, it's around $28,000. And MJ just bursts out laughing right in this woman's face. she cannot stop laughing she's like $28,000 and Reza's crying and he goes that's what I said I was like what I could bring it back for $28,000 and the lady's just looking at him like fuck you guys what the hell she's like that's I'm giving you the sky discount and so so they have like a Reza and MJ sort of bonding moment where Reza's like the only person I could have had with me today is MJ because she knew my dad and we've been friends for so long so um we see a flashback of spreading the ashes and everything back uh in 2018 and all that stuff so this woman leaves she's like fuck these guys i'm going back to milking thousands of dollars out of braunwood newport so she leaves and so every resident mj are gonna have a drink he's like thank you for coming i needed you here to do all that like you know not to get like off death and ashes and stuff like that she's like yeah we can get off that can we talk about my Twilight open. He's like, babe, where's the open house going to be at? Hopefully not in some home that's going to cause a massive rift between our friend group. It's going to be in Layla's house, which is Gigi's villain sister. And so Gigi hates her sister Layla. We've seen it over the years and it's always really fun. It's always really fun to watch. It's exhausting. I'm sorry. So for people who didn't watch Shaz or just sort of coming into this world now, this has been an ongoing thing that Layla and Gigi don't like each other and uh gg's always so mad at layla and i still don't fully understand why after all these years she's like i can't stand my sister she's just the worst person in the entire world i'm like i still don't really know why she just hates layla yeah she hates her she's always hated her because layla's like the good one and gg's the one who never does anything like this why does gg get away with doing nothing in life and you still give her all this money and all this mind your own business you bitch so um mj knows that goldness is going to be pissed but that's like her only house and she has to have a twilight open because mauricio told her to so that's it she's doing it at leila's and res is like wait a minute let me ask you this are you gonna talk to goldnessa because you need to tell her like listen like i be having like a bitch's sister's house on the market like i just want to give you like a heads up because you know i love what the three of us are at right now okay don't mess it up yes i really love how we're all getting along so like maybe i'll tell gg that you're going to sell her her sister's house on tv and mauricio is gonna be there gg will be so mad god i love that we're all friends i love for us being in the place where we're all together so i can break us up apart again and samji's like okay i'll tell her dun dun dun commercials here comes one right now so now speaking of discord we go to a restaurant in beverly hills because of course sky is never going to shoot a restaurant scene in the valley if she doesn't have to and sky and bombshell they're going to dinner and he's like so how are you doing and she's like well today i was supposed to meet with reza jacks and then literally a second later i saw tanin walk in oh she walked in yeah like so she just like really tried to heart to convince me that reza started the conversation he's like no no reza may have but of course i don't remember anything you know he gets to mauricio he gets to mauricio uh-oh a woman's feeling something and he's like oh he just gets a confused face he's like i don't remember I think I'm ready to leave by the way question are women on this show allowed to order because they never do I don't think like the first scene Reza ordered for them and then this scene he's ordering for them and then Reza goes to lunch with somebody else later and he orders everything like is that just a thing better not order for me if Sky orders in this case I think Bombshot knows if Sky orders it'll be just like a plate of scallions and that's it they'll be like ma'am can I take your order everyone just please everyone one half pint of bulgur please thank you it's enough for both of us yeah so they're talking about the ambush and she's like yeah so she says that Reza started it he's like I don't remember and she's let me tell you something as much as I'm pissed off at Greg I'm pissed off at you the most you the most I was like oh god he's never gonna hear the end of this And she's like, I'm still very mad at Bombshot because he didn't defend me in Palm Springs. And they're like, how long are you going to be mad at him? She starts to laugh. She goes, probably for the rest of my life, I'm going to be mad at him. She's like, I will. She's like happy. She's like, oh my God, I have a new grudge for the rest of my life. This is so fun. Yeah. And he's like, well, you know, I should have done the right thing. I didn't do the right thing. And for this, I'm sorry. And I'm the first one to admit it. You know, with the boys, I said, look, you disrespected my wife. and we see him telling them at that party and he's like you're talking to my wife you're talking to my family and me and he says i told him that she never offended anybody she goes oh did you say that this is a new part i didn't hear before huh you said that he goes yes she goes oh so you said this i guess i already told you she's like i'm not gonna let it go i don't believe you i don't believe so then he's basically she does not believe him he goes well what do you want me to I made a fucking mistake over here. What do, what the fuck do you want from me? And she's like, and I was like, oh, bombshot. You known your wife longer than I have Even I can tell you that was a mistake Cause now she like she the look that she gives him I was like get him Sky Get him So she was like I was fighting with everybody that night And then you sat right next to me and you looked at me. Don't fucking talk to me like that ever in your life. Ever. Ever. Ever. You owe me. You owe me a lot. I was like, ooh. She just, the look, the withering look that she gives Bombshot. Ooh, she's. She gets like straight up hatred on her face all the time, like often, you know. And he's like, OK, well, you know, the answers that you want, I've given you already. And she's like, I don't want to attack you. And he says, you are attacking me. She's like, no, because I would never turn my back like you. And he goes, well, you've never had my. And now they're speaking in Farsi at each other and kind of yelling at each other in this restaurant. And he's like, you never had my back from day one. When have you had my back? and she just stops and tries to think of something and then can't think of anything because you know that that's true too. I mean, I'm sure that she wants him to stick up for her, but whenever it comes to him, she's like, he is an idiot. You're correct. You're correct. She should have just said, what could I possibly have your back on because you don't do anything in the first place. You have to do something for me to have your back on it. So he's like, I've been through a lot of difficulties and pretty much on my own and she's always been self-centered. But then again, she's my wife. I've accepted her the way she is a self-centered Brett and I have supported her right The wrong I'm always going to have her back like wow This will really age well in your Couples therapy that you're sure To be going into soon god can you Imagine could you imagine calling your Wife on TV self-centered Oh she is though She is though I mean that's the thing Your kids are going to see this Well they're going to see him her calling him A piece of shit every day too so You know welcome Welcome to your parents' parents. But she's saying it to his face, at least. At least they're having an argument. But he's just alone in a confessional being like, yeah, she's self-centered, but I accept it. So she's like, you know what? I don't even think I had this conversation with you ever. Fuck that night. Seriously. So I guess that's where they leave it, which is that they hate each other still. Divorce is coming. Now we go to Natasha and Lamir's house. and I'm sorry, they bore me. I don't care. I mean, I know that he's been through a lot and blah, blah, blah. They've got a storyline that everyone cries about and stuff. I find them extremely bored. I'm bored. Although I did like that they gave us a reason to not like Amir today because I needed one. I don't even remember what the reason was not to like him. But the vasectomy stuff. Oh, we'll get to it later. It's not that deep. But the premise of the scene, that's all that matters, is that Amir wants everyone to come together and why not do it amongst the innocence of kids and relax? I'm like, oh, fuck off. Surely, surely everybody will behave around the kids. Are you kidding me? Oh my God. I was like, this is like my nightmare. You're going to like force me to go to a kiddie party with Bouncy Castle to like mend wounds? No, no, get out of here. And now we go to the Woods Weed Cafe where Gigi, Reza and MJ are going to go. So Gigi can smoke some weed. because she's a rebel. I smoke weed, guys. That's my personality. I smoke ganja. Aren't I crazy? The only way to make me less violent and playing with knives is to smoke grass. And she even lights her joint like she's in high school. She's like, Yeah, me. I'm smoking marijuana. Yeah. Don't give me that look. You want to fight? Meet me behind the supermarket at 3 p.m. Don't be late. Okay, guys. I saw this house today. Check it out. So she pulls out a listing. And MJ's like, what? You're going to buy this house? It's so expensive. Well, they listed it for sale. But then he's like, you know what? We're also going to be listing it for lease as well. And I said, how much? And he said, $14,500. $14,500. That is some white people bullshit. That is crazy. It's a lot of money, but I thunk about it all day. Yeah, I thunk real hard. And I'm going to ask Dennis for the money, guys. And they're looking, and Reza's like, how much money? I love Reza losing his mind with Gigi's terrible financial choices. It is so funny seeing the look on his face because he cannot deal. and she's like well three thousands of it three thousands of it will come from him per month because he still owes me alimony he's like put the lease on alimony i'm sure how are you getting alimony for being married for a week you were an old it was an old you don't get alimony for an old shit right no and by the way i don't think so he fucked my friend a week after we got married so he owes me three thousand dollars a week for the rest of his life what are you talking about Reza's like, so you're working this guy that you threw out of the vacation house, sent his ass packing, and now you're going to hit him up and squeeze him? Hopefully she puts his name on the lease because what if he doesn't want to give her money after month one, two, three, four? Then you're stuck paying like $14,000. Bitches be like owing a lot of money, am I right? But also, where's she getting the other $9,000? I know, there's that question too. so mj's like okay well so anyway um i'm having like a twilight open house and um you know at your sister's house and she's like oh she's well you know i've been selling your sister's home and it hasn't sold so now we have to you know all show up in a loving supportive way i don't think I can make it that day. I'm going to a convention for bad girls. And MJ is like, don't say that. She's like, I just did. No, I'm going to a punch it convention. It's a convention that I go to where I just need to punch something. I just need to hit it. I'm so mad right now. You know what it's like when you're raised on the mean streets of your driveway in a nice house and you just have a rough and tumble childhood of having a lot of money around man i'm angry the rough and tumble streets of palos fairies so the producers ask her what her relationship with her sister is like and she's like um non-existent mercer's definitely overstepping by throwing this twilight at my sister's house and inviting me but i guess she overstepped it a decade ago when she decided to become best friends with my sister knowing the dynamic between my sister and i it's just so much overstepping i need to hit something and mj is being a little bit of a fucker because it's one thing to be like just you know i'm doing this thing but she's like so you're not gonna come like that's not gonna be supportive i don't understand why gg hates her sister so much but i will at least appreciate that she does and like that's ridiculous to ask gg to come to it and also why do you want Gigi there? She's going to make a scene and she's also not interesting. Well, that's the whole point. MJ is trying to make a show. She's like, you've got to be there to fight with my sister and my husband's got to be here to fight with Reza. What are you people not understanding? We have been given another chance. Reza's like, if you don't want to come, that's one thing, but you don't need to insult her. And she's like, I'm not insulting anyone. I'm just looking for a nice surface that I can punch because I'm angry. And Reza's like, yeah, but you just said that's my family. Back off. I think you're pushing it, Raza. Dude, we're all in a good place. Okay, by the way, Adam brought you a small little ramekin of tabooly. Come on, we're in such a good place. So MJ is like, there's no loyalty here, okay? So figure it out, or when it's time to show up for you, I will piss on your parade. And Gigi's like, oh, really? Well, is your husband coming, MJ? Why isn't he coming then? And she's like, well, he doesn't feel comfortable. Oh, well, that's a good excuse for him. I don't feel comfortable either. I don't feel comfortable either. People aren't going to feel comfortable with my dildo up their asses either. But guess what? They're going to buy it. I'm ruining my own point. Just get on with it. Gigi actually had a good point there. That was good. She set it up and she got MJ on that one. And MJ is like, well, okay, well, let's put the Twilight on ice because I'm going to say, yeah, Maris, we don't want Maris to be a one house Wanda. by the way, should I text Tommy and see if we can move past this? Like, why are you laughing at me, Gigi? I'm being sincere. I want to be like, let's help Mares not be a one-house Wanda and be a multi-house Mares by us getting along. What do you guys think? No, really? You're going to text Tommy right now? That's something I'd like to see. Okay, I'll encourage that. That's funny. So he does, and he texts him, And he's like, hi, Tommy. I'm sorry if this seems like it's coming from left field, but I wanted to say, hey, white boy, I'd love to see you at Mercer's Twilight Open. Like, I understand if bitches be like, that's not an option. But like, I look forward to a time in our future where we could be in a better place. Regards, miss your farts in my face. Reza. I hope this text doesn't throw you the way you threw the cactus at my wall. Please, let's be friends again. So he's like, we need to figure this out. Maybe Tommy can process, but I might need some holy water. So GG is like, this is a big deal. Wow, did you send it? OMG, even me, a bad girl, is stunned into submission with this. So Reza's like, yeah, if Tommy hits me back, I might have a heart attack. so now Natalie and Amir's house they put the kids to bed and they're talking about having another kid and Amir Natasha wants him to get a vasectomy and he's basically like well you know we could do other things like I could wear a condom and she's like but we're married I don't want to have to wear a condom with you so then he's like well why don't you do birth control why do I have to go through you're the woman you should be the one who has to do things to your body not me a man yeah this is where i was like oh yeah i don't like you i knew i didn't like you um so he's like yeah just kind of birth control and she's like um yeah get a vasectomy because that's reversible and i'm not putting hormones in my body i eat healthy i take all these supplements to be super healthy after having all these damn kids for you and he's like well i gotta go under surgery and subject my body to trauma and she's like oh my god i had three c-sections do you want to talk about your body going into fucking trauma come on seriously good for her good for her for saying that he's like well what if you decide that i'm over you and then i'm stuck with the vasectomized you know private part she's like so you're gonna have kids with other people he's like no i'm just saying in case i want to have kids with other people she's like okay so you want to keep your options open great yeah he's not he's not doing great in this scene for sure yeah shut up and get it and then he's like well i went through a crazy experience of my first marriage because, you know, we couldn't conceive. And now I'm able to have kids. And it feels wrong to eliminate the ability to do something that was hard to do. Oh, shut up and get your tubes tied. You can get them untied later if you need to. You wuss. Yeah, let's close up shop for the night, okay? So now we go over to Westwood. And Taneen and Reza meet up at a restaurant. And Reza's like, you know, I had a boys' night. And, like, I'm sure Greg told you about it. And it was, like, really difficult. and we see flashbacks to it and bombshot doing his whole thing of like if you disrespect sky you're disrespecting my family if you disrespect my family you're disrespecting me so reza's like this man had his ass handed to him by his wife i could tell you know and she's like do you feel like you got off your chest about how you feel i was like yeah well so honestly the most important person i wanted to talk to was you which is why i actually waited like three episodes to talk to you and i'm like really sorry because i didn't like that i put you in a sticky situation and that was not my intent yeah right so we see him just totally outing timing for talking badly about sky and the moisturizer and all of that and she's like okay well accountability is huge to me so i really appreciate you apologizing wow i mean i felt like you just had so many things you were already upset about and he's like totally and she's like well look sky feels like nobody likes her she feels ambushed she feels attacked and she hates that i didn't stand up for her he's like stand up for her she's nuts well whatever her insecurity is or whatever it is she's in this like defensive mode and she wants to protect it so badly what is she protecting some stupid jewelry she's like well i'll tell you a different start version of the story she did move to the states by herself with no family and that's why we accept them as our own family because we want them to feel like they have that but you would think that that would humble you and somehow it didn't that's the part that i'm talking about bitches be like not humble okay she's acting like a multi-house mares but she's a one woman wanda one house wanda whatever the wanda thing is she's like all the wandas she's like wanda no vision am i right high five bitches be making wanda puns yeah telling me about Skye's upbringing, that makes so much sense because she has zero self-awareness. She's at the bottom of self-awareness. So it makes total sense, you know? And so he asked her where they stand today. And she's like, well, unless I see some drastic efforts, there's no chance we can ever go back to that. Dun, dun, dun. So then we go to MJ and Tommy's house and they're painting a room. Alcatraz Black, for whatever reason. Maybe it's their podcast studio. And MJ's like, so wanna know what I've been saying that's nice about you behind your back? He's like, no, probably not. Well, our podcast has been one of the main places where we've had healthy communication and I'm grateful for it. Bleh! Oh man, it sounded like a dragon just flew by, but it was actually just the sound of my tinker tarts in my stomach. God, just get rid of him. What the hell? He's like, we got a podcast. It's called Tilted Dirt. And the podcast has been great. All right. And when we sit down, we turn that mic on. We're honest. We're vulnerable. It's been a key to our relationship. All right. And she's like, so are you going to tell me who you got a text from? Reza. and we see Reza calling MJ and saying, oh my God, Tommy responded to my text. He said, how did you get Tabooli to fall out of my phone? And then he wrote, appreciate you reaching out. We're almost wrapped, so let's touch base once filming is done and we can go from there. So basically, Tommy's like, yeah, when you want to do this, not for a TV show, I'll give you a chance. Yeah. So MJ's like, that's great. He's like, yeah. Sorry about that Whoa that part must have registered on the Richter scale So she talks about how it like so hard doing such adulting And she tells him, you know, like I used to be so passionate about us. He's like, what? You're not passionate about us now? Well, I want to be, but I have to feel safe to be passionate. Well, look, I don't get when you talk about feeling safe. I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I'm far from it. I know I'm a good guy. I know I'm a good guy, but you know what? You know, I'm a good, I'm a good, I'm a good dude. She's like, yeah, no, you are a good guy. No, if I weren't a good guy, I'd be gone. Okay, I'd be gone, dude. Sorry about that. She's like, yeah, you would be gone. He goes, yeah, I would be gone. She says, well, we never, we would never do that with Shams in the picture. So we want to make sure we're good, right? Just us. He's like, yeah, but there's also a level. Like, I don't want to teach him the wrong things either. So I'm not going to stay in a situation where I'm not happy because unhappy people, they leave popsicle sticks on tables. All right. And if you make a choice, you don't have to die with the decision. You can fix it. You could change it or you could just leave the bitch. You know what I'm saying? The irony of Tommy talking about like the impermanence of decisions that you make while also like digging his heels in and absolutely never seeing Reza again. so MJ is like okay I so I love that you said that because that makes me feel like you're not staying despite us just for him but then I also want to know that we are staying for each other like yeah well we should probably go to therapy man I mean I think it's important for you to have someone that could be your sounding board why because it ain't gonna be me and she's like yeah I think it's I'm really happy like you know I'm I'm happy because I thought it was hopeless but maybe I'm not maybe you have hope for us now? Because he said the word therapy. And he's like, wow, you did good. All right, you married me. You did great. Yeah. Make me sad. That was a little. That was a kiss. That was like a kiss. Yeah, it was a little taco kiss. Yeah. It's always sad because you know it's not going to work out with them. So then we go to Natasha and Amir's house for their big party. And everyone arrives. Adam and Reza show up with giant boxes of charcuterie. I was like afraid the box would open up. it would just be like tabooly piled on tabooly and rez was like oh my god you guys okay everyone gather around gather around so mj and i go and we meet gonessa who were on great terms with let me tell you all about what was going on in her life so she goes i went and saw this house and it's for rent for 14 000 a month didn't he just get in trouble in the first episode for talking shit about gg's finances to people and now immediately he's like oh my god i can't wait to tell you gg's such a loser 14,000 a month. And I'm like, okay, but she's got a plan. Get this. She's going to hit Dennis up for like three grand of that money. Like bitches be crazy. And they're like, whoa, this is a lot. And like, and but Tineen's like, why are you depending on someone who you say betrayed you? Like, why, where do you draw the line? So Tineen's like, why the fuck would you do that? I love the fact that it seems like Tineen just hates Gigi. She has like no respect for Gigi. Tineen, because I feel like Tanine and Gigi are brought in from different worlds. Like there are different spokes of the central axis, whatever the connection is. And I feel like Tanine would never hang out with Gigi in any way, in any capacity if it weren't for this TV show. I don't think any of these people would accept MJ and Reza. I think everybody looks at Gigi like, because they're all like a more evolved place of their, of their life and their careers, right? Even Reza. Yeah. Reza Jackson. Yeah, honestly. So, um, they have a very unique relationship, right? So, um, Greg is there and he, and so Gigi walks up. She's like, hi everyone. And Greg's like, oh, we were just talking about you in the house that you checked out. She's like, hello is usually a word that you say to someone unless you want them to get angry and mad. I mean, you can talk shit about me. You can definitely say hello to me, right? And, uh, he's like, calm down, bro. You came in hot again. I have nothing to fucking hide, but like, why am I always the fucking topic in this group? Like, move on. Talk about your failing marriages or something. That was a good point that she made. Also, she did not come in hot. You guys, you literally, she walks up and you say, we were just talking about you. What's going on with your finances? Like, you came in hot, Greg. So then Vita shows up, which is great. She starts patrolling right away. And Rez. Trolling and patrolling both. Why is charcuterie out in the sun? This is dangerous. They ask if Sky is coming. Nobody knows. Has anybody talked to Sky? Oh, my God. And Adam's like, I texted her. She didn't respond. I can't imagine. Does anybody respond to Adam's text? Ow, your text hurt me. GG. So Greg's like, yeah, well, every time she gets into anything with my wife, my wife has to reach out and it's over. And how important is this relationship? And Taunin's like, yeah, you know, we'll be cordial, whatever. So then MJ shows up with shams and Elijah comes up to Gigi. He's like, mom, I need my police radar. I'm going to call the police because that other kid said stupid. And she goes, oh, yeah, well, maybe you need to say we don't say words like that. No, mom, he said that you're stupid. And then all the kids started agreeing. why am I always a fucking topic around here so then Gigi sits down with Adam and she's like I'm not gonna get on your case because you're not giving me any best friend attention because you're trying to take care of your husband right now he's like ow Gigi he wants me to give him some more affection like touching oh yeah yeah you probably should do that and I'm like thinking maybe tantric yoga or maybe just not doing anything with him. Yeah. Okay, you could do either one of those things, but I've heard that you can have an orgasm just from eye contact with tantric yoga. It's very intimate. He's like, do you think tantric yoga is something Reza would be into? She's like, um, anything that's, I mean, maybe if there's some rolls there or something, you know, that he could snack on. I mean, he'd be into that. You know, you can get some undies, some lubes. And he's like, but isn't being naked enough? Okay, so you want to go to naked hot yoga sex yoga with Reza. Why do you need to film my visuals with this? Nobody needs that. Please don't put that upon the public. No. Even just the thought of it is really like imagine the two of them sitting there naked like cross-legged just staring into each other's eyes and then just like both orgasming. I'm like I don't need that. So then Bombshot arrives alone. Everyone's like oh my god Bombshot's alone. And Adam's like oh my god hey by the way do you think Reza then I should have kids. Does anyone think, should we bring this back? I'm like, please don't bring back this four season saga that we had to endure. No, no kids. We didn't believe you the first time around. We're not going to believe you at age 60 or whatever the hell we're pushing now. Stop it. Reza Jax is confused. He's like, how does that even work? Is it like this? He puts his two fingers together like the girl from out of this world. Like two penises touching. That's not how it goes. So So then Vida comes over and she's talking to the lifeguard. So she goes, they've hired a lifeguard for this party, this pool party. And she goes over and she's like, I don't know that you should be here. You should be over there. The kids should not be going that far. They should only be going this far. This is not very safe. He's like, the kids are fine. No, no, no, no, no, no. The kids should not be going over there. It's very unsafe for the kids. What, are you a lifeguard? And he goes, yeah, I'm a lifeguard. She goes, oh, okay. she's like the kids should not be in the deep end he's like I know that's why I'm standing here he's like no but you know they should be in the shallow end I know but you're professional I am he's like fuck off lady I just cracked he goes yeah I am a lifeguard she goes oh okay she finally got stumped they're like Vita's coming we better get a professional cause you know she's gonna ask somebody if they're a professional yeah I love that I love that she just goes over to inspect the the lifeguard for his credentials so then uh the rest of the gang is sitting together under this tent uh because you know it's blazing hot there and they all only have this tiny little tent to crowd under so they're asking where's sky and bombshad said that she's in vegas for a jewelry convention and whereas I's like yeah it's been a minute it's been been a minute since boys night huh remember all the snacks I put out and um tanyan is saying yeah by the way this is the everyone this is the most we've seen Bombshot in quite some time. Look at him. He's happy. This is where the cast starts to slowly start to divorce you. Like they start to try and get you divorced. So it's just like, wow, he's so relaxed now, right? Everybody, doesn't he look happier without Sky, right? And he's like, well, I'm conflicted. You know, it's not easy to forgive and forget. Well, it's not easy to forgive. It's very easy to forget. But who are we talking about? Who are we talking about? You're right, it is easy to forget. So Gigi and Rez are talking, and Gigi's like, I'm surprised Bombshot's here. I was happy to see him. So he came without his wife then? What's that about? And then MJ's asking Bombshot how he feels, and he's like, I mean, I feel okay, but I think Bombsprings for me was a bit of a surprise because I feel like I was disrespected. And if you disrespect my wife, you disrespect my family. And they're all like, and if you disrespect my family, you're disrespecting me. yes bombshot we know your line you worked hard on it very hard on it good job so mj is like yeah but like you know i think she thinks she's right and she's holding on to being right more and then she you know she would rather that than mend fences and you know we love and care about her so you know you're the only one that's really talking to her that she shows up so you need to do something and he's like yeah but you've got to understand the whole situation also put me in a compromising position with my wife. By compromising, I mean I woke up with a pillow over my head, being pressed down very, very hard. And she said, I probably would have killed you if I didn't have to walk to a whole other room and get myself tired in the process. She told me, you can't even die right. MJ goes, well, I'm just saying she should show up to my event because I'm really putting a lot into this Twilight Open at Layla's house. whereas Jack's like yeah she wants buyers no no I don't I just want that Skye doesn't exclude herself because I hate a divide and I've been the person on the outside and I've been the one that is feeling like that on the sidelines and Bombshaw's like well let me tell you all one thing I don't think she has any negative feelings anything bad towards any of you at all if you feel that way maybe you should reach out to her and ask her because I cannot answer that yes Skye has no bad feelings whatsoever she's just can't wait to see everyone and hang out specifically in the valley at a valley restaurant although i'm glad he did say this part because mj is like yeah i just want sky to know how much i care about her and i know what it's like and i totally feel for he's like well you haven't called her once i mean it's been how long has it been since that nobody's calling her what are you guys talking about and they kind of shut mj up she's like oh right yeah i mean i guess i could it's like i don't think she'll have her guard down anytime soon so going in for it watch out she's coming for you and I mean yours like well we don't want to put him in the hot seat again that's for sure and bombs like no and I will never do it again there's definitely some walls and there's some things and hopefully we'll get to it hopefully but time will tell cuz if you insult my wife you would salt my family and if you insult my family you insult Wow It's really a one Wanda word man One word Wanda And then the screen closes up on Reza's face In a little circle Then he winks and it goes to black That brings us to the end of The Valley Persian style And the end of our week Next week we are going to be at the South Beach Food and Wine Festival in Mijami On the 21st I believe So come see us over there It's going to be a fun little podcast we're going to do and eating around the festival. 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