Botox Queens & Filler Kings

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Good guys. Mazda morons, welcome back to the Good Guys podcast. Ben, start us off, babe. Josh, look, have you ever invited somebody to your birthday party and you got this reply? I'm out of town, but we'll celebrate when we're back. Have you ever gotten that reply? Nobody's ever celebrated when they were back. That's never happened. I don't know why people do that. Why do people feel the need to say that? Why do they need to say we'll celebrate when we're back? No, honestly, I might never hear from you again. You might, you're traveling, maybe your plane goes down. Maybe I never see you again at all. We're not celebrating my random 33rd birthday when we're back. What does that even mean, Josh? I'm so tired of this arbitrary day that means nothing, that we have risen to a level of such importance that friendships can break over it, relationships can go to the shitter over it. It's fake. If everyone has it, not special. How about that? A hundred percent. And it can't be special every year. That's why we have these marquee birthdays. OK, the first marquee birthday. What's the first marquee birthday, Josh? What is the first one? One. One. OK, so fine. One through 18. We go crazy. Right. And then after 18, we don't. Or when do we stop? Even that when do we stop? One is important. I would say the first three can be important and you could do something big for the first three. I'd say between 3 and 10, go to an amusement park and shut up. Like, then start. And then, you know, 13 if you're a Jew. 15 if it's your quinceanera. Sweet 16 if you're a girl from Long Island with a rich dentist father. And then 18. Sure. And then 21. Sure. And then 21. And then after 21, this is it. 25, 30, 40, 50. Right. 60, 70. And then at some point, OK, once you've reached 90, I'd probably start celebrating every year again just because you're so impressed with yourself that you've made it. Full circle. Full circle. That you've made it. But this is these random birthdays. It's no good. Stop inviting me. We're kaput. And Josh, let's talk about our approach to raising kids and raising other people's kids because this weekend has revealed my parenting style. Want to hear it? I want to hear it. I want to hear it. I want to know the ins and outs of Joshi's parenting style. Yes. My parenting style is. OK, if you act out of line, I'm going to let you know. OK, and that to me, look, it's been a tick tock trend recently of like this. Oh, just a touch, a touch of old school parenting. leave you know uh leave leave the the physical leave leave all the negative stuff leave the belt that's horrible that should never happen again how dare you you should never touch a child ever but when it gets out of line unless they're annoying you gotta let them know yes you gotta let them know i was just at this kid's birthday over the weekend and you're gonna experience this when your kids get a little bit older first of all the parents checked out they're all sipping high moons, talking about, you know, reality show. Is it high moon? What's it called? High noon. High noon. High moons and, you know, all the bullshit, okay? And they're drinking schwitzes. You know, they're drinking Zimas. High moons. High moons and schwitzes. That's it. That's what they're drinking. You know, and Michael's hard lemonades. And so these parents are checked out and the kids are running amok. And it's someone's home that the party is at. And you've seen where I live, but the houses are literally right. You share a fence with the next house. So kids are literally climbing on the fence and walking on the roof of the shed of the neighbors. I'm going nuts. And I'm like, I literally at one point went to the parents And I said, can we have a united parental front here? Because this is nuts. And the kid's going to fall through the roof of the neighbor. And then I went up. I'm telling these kids, I maybe had to do it half a dozen times. I'm like, guys, you can't. You can't. And my son is nothing special except he listens. Okay? So he'll mess around. He'll do the wrong thing. But if I say, Max, mm-mm. He'll go, message received. No problem. Right? These other kids, and these are seven and eight year olds. And when a seven and eight year old disrespects you, what you want to say is like, listen, I'm not your parent. You're not going to walk all over me. Right. I'm an adult. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not your buddy. And I'm not your like passive parent who's sucking back high moons in the corner over there. And so I look at these kids and I go, listen, I'm an adult and either you're going to listen or I'm going to tell your dad. And so it's just crazy. It shouldn't be allowed at all. And by the way, Josh, that is Claudia's approach to regular friendships. OK, you cross her once. Sayonara. And I used to think that was a little harsh. And let me tell you, if you were willing to cross me at this stage in my life, I don't need you. I really don't. I don't need second chances anymore, Josh. This is about fine tuning. All This stage of life is about whittling down, perhaps at one point we had 50 friends, 100 friends, 25, 20, 10, 5. All we need in life, Josh, is a good three best friends. Okay? Three best friends. If you have more than that, you can't call them best friends anymore. This used to be, in high school, I called everybody my best friend. My best friend here. My best friend there. My camp best friend. My this friend. No. No, Ben. No. they can't all be best friends. They can't. So you cross me. You're done. That's it. Just like those kids, those kids. If you if you're rude to my son and I haven't gotten there yet. OK, Ruby's still too little for this. If you are rude to my Ruby, future five year old when he's five, God willing, you're dead to me. Dead. But they're not push him. They're not. Tell me. They're not going to be. Here's my issue. They're not rude to Ruby. Ruby's going to love them. And he's also going to like, because he's going to be a good, good boy. But he's going to kind of like my son, look at the bad kids and be like, ooh, that does look kind of fun. He'll live a little vicariously like we did growing up. But the kids are going to be rude to you, not Ruby, to you. How do you feel? Yeah. Ooh, if they're rude to me. Yeah, I just I tell their dad. I don't even react. I'm just like, your fucking kid sucks ass. Like, your kid sucks ass. Like, what are you doing that your kid just said that to me? I would 100% confront the parent. Because confronting, I actually don't like the idea of parenting somebody else's kids. I don't. Because what are you going to possibly say that's obviously not being reinforced at home? If they're mean, they're mean for a reason. And you randomly saying something to them, I don't think, right? Will it do anything? I just don't hold back when it's a safety issue ever and like the kids ran out I ran out the this was like really and we were leaving and I just this was the moment where I'm like I'm glad I'm leaving the kids ran out the front of the house there's no parents out and they're not far from the street and I was like guys get back in the house and they were like well we like they said I was like there's no parents out here get in the house I don't want to hear it and that was the moment where I was like, I got to leave because I mean, granted, I would I would have done that in front of their own parents and defended my actions. But I'm like, what's the alternative that they don't listen and run in the street? Like, I'd rather have a kid and a parent mad at me than, God forbid, they get hit by a car. And so what actually did you sound like? Because you weren't that tempered, like they're running around the house. They're leaving. I'm running through. I want to hear the way that you actually sound. I'm blasting through the door. Hey, let's go play. Guys, get back in the house And then say Well everyone else, all the other kids are out here Guys, get back in the house But all the other kids are out here playing I don't care, there's no parents out here Get back in the house That's it, what do we think, Olivia? Does that suck? Am I going to get beat up by parents? I don't think so I think you're keeping everybody safe I think you're keeping everybody safe, Josh I think that's what it is I think you're the safety police I think you need a t-shirt, okay? or at minimum, maybe like a little hat, you know, safety police hat. And all I know is if I was in your position, I probably would have accidentally let like an F-bomb go get in the fucking house. Yeah. OK, that would have been me because when I get really scared, I go, you know, I can't control my body when I'm scared for something happening. I just I say anything, get in the fucking house, anything to scare them back into the house. You know, I just draw the line at kids climbing on the roofs of other people's houses and running in traffic. Whoa. Sorry. You know, a Ronnie Republican over here, you know. What the fuck? That's a good place to draw the line, Josh. It's a good place to draw the line. I totally I totally agree. This episode of The Good Guys podcast is brought to you by our friends at Ollie. Folks, we all have our love languages. And if you have a dog, you know they have one too. Some dogs are all about quality time. Some love physical touch. But most dogs, their love language is definitely food. Folks, celebrate the ones you love the most by giving them the best, highest quality ingredients with Ollie. And yes, it's the kind of meal dogs actually get excited about. 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We're talking an Ollie app. I love an app. It's absolutely fantastic and makes things just so data-centric, you know? Show your dog some love in the way they understand best by heading to Ollie, O-L-L-I-E, dot com slash goodguys. Tell them all about your dog and use code goodguys to get 60, 6, 0% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus, they offer a happiness guarantee on the first box. So if you're not completely satisfied, you'll get your money back. That's ollie, O-L-L-I-E dot com slash goodguys and enter code goodguys to get 60, 6, 0% off your first box. I'm completely switching gears. USA, USA, USA. The men's hockey team. Holy smokes. That was like, obviously you've seen Miracle, but I just I couldn't believe it. And then I found out the guy who scored the winning goal was Jewish. And all of a sudden I was plotting. It was just it was unbelievable. OK, unbelievable. The goal that was promised to us 3000 years ago, according to the people on TikTok. Screw you. All I have to say, screw you. USA! USA! USA! Clip that, send it to Al Jazeera. You fuck, you send it. It was so good. Oh my God, and those kids. And you saw Cash Patel slugging it with them. Whoa, his eyes went a little more cross after he drank that beer. I was like, damn, it was so funny. It was so funny. But seriously, shout out USA, men's hockey team. Just what an unbelievable accomplishment, especially just with everything going on. The country needed something to rally around. And it's those boys. It's those boys. It was great. Really great. It doesn't forgive the horrible shit that's been going on as of recently, but I will say I've never seen anyone go, you know, we won gold at the Olympics and everything fell apart. Like it can only be a good thing and I hope if our leaders won't unite us, at least Team USA hopefully can. They did. They did. If you're not rooting for Team USA, that's on you. Team USA they won They did their thing They were the best at something that is really really hard for us to be the best at It funny Josh we were just talking about how the NHL players shouldn be playing in in Olympic hockey And if they didn't, we wouldn't have won. So I guess, honestly, I I take it back. I take it back. It stinks for the NHL owners. But the fact that we were able to win this and beat Canada. Big deal. How many, because he plays for New Jersey, right? So how many dentists in the tri-state area are in Jack Hughes DMs right now going, would love to build you a bridge for two IG shout outs. Happy to do two implants for an infeed and a TikTok. Considering when the Knicks literally sign the most random guy, I immediately send a DM. If you ever need help with a dinner reservation, you let me know. I can attest that that for sure happened. Do you do that with every new Nick? You do that with every new Nick? Every new Nick. I try and get him young too. Under 100,000, I think to myself, oh, you know, he doesn't have the Plugin Major Food Group yet. Let me be the entree to that. Let me help you out. I'm here. I'm here. Let me lend you my services. You're the weirdest. you're like that meme of when husbands and boyfriends write to LeBron like have a great game king and you think it's actually getting to them except Ben's writing I've got some leftovers king I'll drop off a quart of vodka sauce at your house you really are Bruce Offer's son God bless you my dad can have a nice roast at your door at three. Let me know the best address. That's so good. I'll be there in my dad's 07 Chevy Suburban. Drop off a variety of sauces. It's so good. Oh my God. No, it was awesome. I'm so, I was loving. I was loving Team USA. Very exciting. Very. So good. Did you see the memes of all the Jewish mothers who are exhaustedly writing everyone they know telling them Jack Hughes is Jewish? Yes. And it's just them clicking away. Unbelievable. It was so good. Why do we do that? Because we're so proud. Like, we're just so proud. That's it. We did the same thing with Denny. We're just proud. That's it. We're proud when it's not obvious, right? Like when a Jewish physicist wins the Nobel Prize again, we go, yeah, that's a layup. You're right. You're right. We're proud when it's not obvious. We're so proud when we do things that we don't think we should be able to do. Right. It's honestly, it's pride through self-doubt almost. It's very interesting, Josh. Very interesting, but absolutely true. I remember there was, I think Judy Gold makes this joke when David Berkowitz, the son of Sam, who was committing the murders in the 70s and 80s in New York. And they found out that the son of Sam was David Berkowitz, a Jew. And I think Judy Gold's mother did some research and said, half. He's half. We don't claim him. We don't claim him. Exactly. Josh, there was some weird freaking news over the weekend. Did you catch this weird news? Tell me. Weird stuff. Weird. I did hear some of the weird news, and here is one of them, and this is wild. Men are going to extreme lengths to make their penises bigger with bizarre swag procedure. While many people are asleep in the deep of night, some men are searching for ways to boost their bulge. Our inquiries usually come in around 2 a.m., Dr. Schaefer said. How can I increase my size? Schaefer has been giving new meaning to the phrase supersize me, pumping private parts full of filler at his Fifth Avenue clinic. That's right. They're doing filler in their package. We're talking Botox. We're talking, I don't know, Latisse. I think that's for eyelashes. He's done 8,000 procedures. It's called, yeah, the swag approach, the Schaefer width and girth surgery nuts. Oh, my God. OK, so you said two and three in the morning. So do we think these guys are leaving a girl's house after she just told him that he has a small dick and they're really sad and they Google penis enlargement surgery and Dr. Schaefer has the Google ads on penis enlargement for New York? Is that what's happening? I think so. And or they're watching porn and feeling very inadequate as compared to the professionals. Ah, yeah. Yeah. For sure. 2 a.m. porn is too late, Josh, right? So true. You can't watch porn at 2 in the morning. What is your cutoff for porn? I think anytime. Anytime. Anytime. If I need it, it's amazing. Like, I really think that anyone who's on Ambien, I want to be like, have you tried other ways? Like... Totally, totally. But that's why 2 a.m., unless you're having a really bad night and you just can't go to sleep. And I'm not going to describe it anymore. OK, I'm not going to describe it. Sure. There's chafing involved. 2 a.m. is too late. OK, too late. I think 930. That's the latest. Well, Dr. Schaefer is using the stiffest form of hyaluronic acid as the filler. It's FDA approved for jaw augmentation, which you're going to have to get your jaw augmented after I see Dr. Schaefer. I'm kidding. That's gross. It's horrible. It's disgusting. I'm so sorry. It's disgusting. The primary effect is amplified girth. But because the constant weight of the filler stretches the skin, leading to increase in flaccid length. That's the golden key, my friend. because I want to be walking around Equinox being like, can you believe this? Right? How good? Of course. Right? Muhammad, my friend Muhammad, who works out at Equinox with me. Muhammad! Huh? I want you to know, when I look over and I see somebody hung like a horse, miss me. What does that mean? You don't want to make eye contact with it? I couldn't want that less, okay? It's too much. It's too much. Who wants a huge, you want a huge, just always out, not like the grower versus shower. You want a shower horse cock all the time. I'm sorry, mom. I'm sorry. Turn off this episode. I don't know. And I'm not going to ask Olivia this because it's inappropriate. Again, I'm not asking Olivia this. It's inappropriate. I'm asking Ben this. I would love to know what would, first of all, my suspicion is, is that in general, and my wife has said this, like, don't ever send us a picture of your thing. We are not interested in that. It does not do the same thing for us that us sending you pictures does for you. But I would be interested to know what, if it did, if there was some exciting aspect to it, which would be preferred by women. I have to assume that a flaccid penis would be the least attractive thing in the whole world. I think the other is so angry and aggressive. Sure, they both sting. They both stink. If you, Josh, these are what are you nuts? If you, there's in no world, in no way, shape or form, does any woman want to receive a picture of a flaccid penis? No way. No way. Maybe they don't want to receive either of them. I think we're doing an either. There's no, yeah, neither. Penises are disgusting. Now that I'm talking about it, this is just like limp. Oh God, I feel so dirty, Josh. This episode of the Good Guys Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Wayfair. Folks, Wayfair is it. From bedding and mattresses to storage solutions for every room in the house, Wayfair is your one-stop shop. Refresh your living room with accent pillows, mirrors, and faux plants for way less. Refresh anything, folks, if you're anything like me. You're married to somebody who changes their mind in the blink of an eye, and all of a sudden you walk in, and your apartment is completely changed. And let me tell you, that's only possible at Wayfair. Wayfair.com, you can literally change your bedding and bath basics. You could change your entire kids room. How about home decor? Storage for every space. Kitchen essentials. You want a new kitchen? Wayfair. 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That's homechef.com slash goodguys for 50, 5-0% off your first box and free dessert for life. Homechef.com slash goodguys must be an active subscriber to receive free dessert. Obviously, schnurra. Other stories? Another story? Yes, I'm 16 and already get Botox to prevent wrinkles. I can't let the risks stop me. The needles didn't sting as badly, Jasmine Miller feared. Just a quick pinch, exactly like her mom promised. The 16-year-old Alabama teen had just gotten Botox for the first time, her provider injecting the neurotoxin in her jaw muscles to help ease chronic pain. It wasn't that bad. Honestly, my jaw was feeling so much better. About three months later, I was texting the doctor and was like, well, I've already gotten Botox, so I might as well just go all in. That choice would turn the Fayette teen into a lightning rod. A junior at the time, Jaslyn quickly became gossip fodder with her classmates and their parents when they were intrigued and unsettled by the idea that she was getting plenty of cosmetic treatments years before adulthood. So she got Botox in her jaw. It helped. She was like, throw some in my non-existent crow's feet, I guess. No, it sounds like her mom said throw some in her non-existent crow's feet, which is just like, whatever. How can you possibly need Botox at 16 unless you're, I guess, really fucking stressed, right? Maybe it's those SATs. Yeah. Maybe it's, I don't know, social studies. But Jaslyn's story isn't an outlier. It's part of a growing trend. On TikTok and Instagram, teens and people in their early 20s are increasingly posting about getting Botox and other injectables, often calling it a preventative measure to avoid future lines and wrinkles. Olivia, thoughts? I mean you don stop making collagen until you what 25 So I just feel like it a waste and it sad that somebody at 16 is being persuaded to do something like that Obviously like more power to you always but like maybe wait till you can vote to start That's a great fun fact that you don't stop making collagen until 25. That's a great fact. And yeah, so clearly you don't need it. You don't need it. No need, Josh. I guess not. I guess, I don't know. I've never done Botox except for my masseters, but I will tell you that the great Dr. Eleazar Soffer, shout out, I'm mentioning his name because I'm hoping he wants to do it for free. I brought him in because he fixed his cut above his eyebrow when he got hurt and beautifully closed it up and it's healing beautifully. And we went for his like three month checkup and Dr. Soffer quickly was done with shy, looked at me and said, let me look at you. And he was like, smile. And I was like, he was like just 15 units there and there like right here he's like it's just a little downturned and i was like okay so maybe i do it's also supposed to be great for migraines i don't know i haven't gotten a migraine in a while but they say it's wonderful for migraine i have bad migraines bro that would be great i need any kind of relief from a migraine okay yeah so you should get it and Bruce Soffer also gets migraines. First time he's gotten one. He's been dealing with them the last month. Botox. He hasn't tried it yet, but I'm going to go tell him because I remember that that is a thing that helps. Do we have any other stories, Josh? Otherwise, I have a question for you. We have one more. A burning question. I have something really good to tell the podcast audience, and I'm only a weekend, so don't quote me yet. But as we all know, I've been a lifelong survivor of TMJ ping. I have my struggle with the TMJ. I had the clenching at night throughout the day. Tight, tight jaw muscles. So painful. It's like a charley horse in your face. And I've tried everything. Botox, night guards, occupational therapy. What? It sounds like you've been taking too many dicks from that doctor. Oh, Dr. Schaefer. Dr. Schaefer, say it ain't so. Swaggy. I've been hanging out with Joey Camasta too much. So yes, I have TMJ from the reasons why Ben said I have them. And I've tried everything, but I just tried this new cocktail at night. Let me tell you. I think it's working. It's been working for the last week and praying it continues to work. I'm taking a light beta blocker, a blood pressure med, five milligrams of propanolol. Light. Easy. A lot of people take it for blood pressure, but a lot of high performers such as myself, I'm talking professional violinist Robert Downey Jr. at the Academy Awards. They take it for anxiety. So I take a five milligram dose, which is the lightest of light dose and magnesium at night. And I haven't been clenching. When was the last time? Do you always take magnesium at night or this is a new thing for you? Here and there, but I think this one-two punch, because I take a lot of magnesium through element, because I get it through that. Yes. Different kind, though. I think it might be magnesium glycinate, or is that the one that makes you shit? Glycinate, I think, has the more sedative, relaxing properties. Yes. Yeah, so what that does to me is I take it, I go to sleep, I don't have any dreams, I don't think, I'm out. I don't know what it is. It's very, it's like a sleeping pill. It's fantastic. Well, let me tell you, magnesium from Momentus and propanolol from CVS. Loving it. One, two, punch. One, two, punch. Well, I've got one more story and then I want to hear what you have to say, Ben. A tourist, 21, unexpectedly gives birth after going to hospital for stomach bug. Oh my. What an idiot. In July last year, Shepard started to feel unwell, initially putting her stomach cramps down to an unpleasant stomach bug. Her symptoms worsened, turning into an intense pain on the right side of her stomach. She went to the Gold Coast University Hospital in Queensland. They performed a ultrasound and found out she was having labor cramps. And she gave birth to a beautiful 6.4 pound baby. Had no idea. How? How? How? How? How? How? This we can ask Olivia, how? You know, it's crazy. There is a girl who will, I will remain nameless, but she was like a friend of a friend in college. And she had taken like a plan B pill, like, but the kind that's like prescribed from a doctor. And she thought that all was good, but she never went for her follow-up. And she thought that she had a cyst in her stomach. And nine months later, five years later, now she's got a beautiful boy named Noah. But I. But how? You you I don't you don't feel something in your stomach. You end up looking like Louie from the pit. I don't understand. Like like you don't feel that. You don't you don't. Some people don't show as much, I think, too. And I think also depending on the size of the individual, sometimes that can be a contributing factor. or if you have any kind of like. That's interesting. I'm not sure exactly. I just know in that instance, she thought she had, you know, taken care of business and she certainly did. Well, it said despite the shock, the young woman who was a size six and had no pregnancy symptoms gave birth to a little girl named Isla just 10 hours later. But 6.4 pounds. This goes away. This goes away. Everything that I thought I knew is gone out the window with her being a size six. Olivia now had me thinking, OK, maybe this woman was 400 pounds. So becoming 430 pounds, you don't know. You thought you just had a nice lunch. Right. When really it wasn't a nice lunch. OK, but if you were a size six and then you go from a size six to a size 16, you don't know. How don't you know? Well, but maybe she didn't she didn't go up in size to Olivia's point. That's what she's saying here. She was still a size six. The baby was small, too, I guess. Because the baby is six pounds. So so maybe premature. Oh, my God. Holy smokes. Well, azalt to her. You know, what a gift. I just want to hear more about Noah. Baby Noah, like avoiding the Plan B pill, like the Death Star in Star Wars 1. Good name. Noah survived, dude. Am I right? Noah. Noah survived. Noah survived. Oh, wow. What a story. Josh, I have a question for you. Okay. It's very, very important. Okay. Very important. Would you rather always have a slightly wet sock or always have greasy hair? A slightly wet sock is not sustainable. So I would have to do the greasy hair. But God, do I hate. You know, that's why Howie Mandel, who actually has hair. Here's a big revelation. Howie Mandel has a full head of hair and only shaves his head because it makes him feel more clean and doesn't trigger his OCD as badly. What? Is that true? He has a full head of hair, but how often does he have to shave every morning? Because that's it's a shiny head. Constantly. Wow. Isn't that fascinating? That is fascinating. That is fascinating. Josh, I want you to know that there's nothing more annoying to me in the entire world than a wet sock. So I will completely agree with you that I guess I would take greasy hair, even though I hate greasy hair. I need to take every single morning. I have to I shower every single morning like clockwork and every single night like clockwork. And it's really because if my hair ever feels oily or greasy, I hate it, but the wet sock, Josh, no good. No good. All right. I have another very important question for you. Is it worse to forget someone's name or misuse someone's name confidently? You're at a party, OK, and you forgot maybe Mitch's name and you go up to Mitch and you say, hey, Mitch, good to see you. But his name was really Michael. What's worse, forgetting or calling him Mitch? I'm calling him Mitch. Calling him Mitch is worse, right? It's fine. I think people it's too. Actually, I've gotten I've had so many encounters where people look at me and they're like, really, you don't remember my name. You don't have that. There's nothing worse than that. Listen, you're going to go. I've learned you never say nice to me. You say you say nice to see you. And then you you do chief, you do buddy, you do big guy, you do big girl, you know, ball. There's so many fun. Good to see you, big girl. that's good yeah man there's so many ways around it and then if you really need to know their name you got to find somebody new to throw into the mix whose name you do know and then you go hi this is ben and then allow them to be like hi i'm so and so and you go lydia lydia i knew it was with an l i love it and josh the last one on this rapid fire which we can cut if we want to or we can keep in. I'm not sure. Is it more is it more embarrassing to wave back at someone who wasn't waving at you or to ignore someone who was? I think I would rather be the fool in every scenario. It gives me the steves to ever make someone feel or look foolish. And I'd rather just it's just so on brand for me. And it's good podcast fodder. You. I completely agree. I'd rather be the fool, The nice fool, okay? The nice fool. That's me. The pleasant, nice fool. This episode of the Good Guys Podcast is brought to you by our friends at Nutrafol. 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We do. We have a piece of more on mail. And now, and Ben, maybe you can help us with this. We have closed down the speak pipes. They are no longer a part of the show. But we do want your more on mail. So you can email us. If you want to get some advice, ask us questions. Feel free. Put it in a short little paragraph and we will read it on the podcast. Hey, Ben, what's our email address? Goodguyspodcast1 at gmail Whoever is goodguyspodcast at gmail give it to me to me OK yeah you snake you snake But for now it good guys podcast one at gmail And Josh, we already have a couple of we have a couple of emails. I will start from anonymous. The subject is corporate Venmo. Hey, good guys. I have a friend who sends Venmo requests that look like official invoices. He itemizes taxes, tips, and even rounds up to the nearest dollar in his favor. Last week, he sent a request for twenty eight dollars and forty seven cents and labeled it Q1 sushi settlement. Is he financially responsible or emotionally unwell? Signed accounts receivable. That's not real. Are you kidding me? He didn't write. Are you kidding me? Financial settlement. Are you kidding me? This guy needs to go get the swag procedure with Dr. Schaefer. He does not. He's got us. He's hurting in that area. You can't request. Honestly, Josh, you can't request less than what's the right amount here. I don't think you can request less than fifty dollars from me. Fifty bucks. If we're friends, you can't request less than that from me. You can't. Twenty eight dollars and forty seven cents. Just just split it. So do the cards at the table if that's the case. Right. after the fact for $28? Why? Why, Josh? I just don't want to be in that position of, I would feel so much better to be able to treat than to have to hound someone for my share that I'm owed. And so I would rather say, I would love to eat dinner with this person six times a year, but I always have to hound them for Venmo. So instead, I'll eat dinner with them twice a year and I'll pay. Totally. Totally. We're not debt collectors, Josh. We're just trying to go to dinner. Okay. Not debt collectors. No good. No good. I also don't like, sometimes I get in a Venmo like wormhole and I'll start reading like the subject line of what everyone's sending shit for. And I'd be like, and it'd be really weird. Like my half of the Netflix. I'm like, fucking nine bucks. Like, I don't know. Listen, I know there's, we're going to get shit for this because people are going to be like, yeah, that's like a lot of money. And it is, especially if you're like in your twenties and whatnot. But I don't I just I think in a desire to not use cash, people have overcomplicated their life. Love me or hate me. I'm sorry. Four dollars and 50 cents is not an appropriate Venmo. I'm sorry. It's not a lot of money. It's not. You shouldn't have Venmo. I mean, you shouldn't have Netflix. If four dollars and 50 cents, if you need four dollars and 50 cents once a month, you shouldn't have Netflix. I'm sorry. If that's a hot take and people hate me, I'll live with it. I'll live with it, Josh. But no good. All right. I have another one. I'm ready. Okay. The subject was, again, anonymous. We're keeping them all anonymous, okay? The subject was fake wine guy. Guys, I've been pretending to understand wine for four years. I swirl. I nod. I say notes of cherry. I have no idea what I'm talking about. By the way, this is so me. Me too. And I own a wine company. And I don't drink. This weekend, I'm going to Napa with friends who actually do no wine. Do I confess or continue the performance? Oh, if you're going with actual wine snobs, I would confess. Otherwise, you're going to get found out. But it'll actually be really funny. So maybe keep the shtick. I don't know. I don't know. Strickering. Here's the thing. This is what you really got to do. Try to catch your friends in the lie. see if they're lying too add shit you know bring bring a couple tools bring a big uh one of those eyedropper things put it in the glass and then be like be like it aerates it on its way down as as the drops drop it gets oxygen and that releases the the notes of of oak yes and if they go oh shit word i heard that be like you're a fucking liar dan but if they're like what are you nuts be like, I am nuts. I don't know what I'm doing. I love when people swirl their wine. My mom last night at dinner, she ordered just a glass of house Sauvignon Blanc and they brought it over, had her try it. And I just know her like she she takes a sip. She thinks about it. Delicious. What else are you going to say? Unless it's corked like either if it's if it's terrible wine, I guess I understand it. But I never I never like that. People are returning wine because it's not the flavor profile that they thought it would be. Miss me. No good. They should do that with regular food. They should just bring over a bite of the mac and cheese and be like too nutty. You know, I do that. I've told you that's my move with tuna. I've told you that, right? What you need? You have a tuna tuna sommelier. I taste the tuna. I'm not committing to tuna fish anywhere without a taste. I go to the diner. They have a tuna salad sandwich on the menu. Give me a taste. Just a little taste. I love it. That's it. And if I like the tuna, I'll order the tuna. But tuna is so hit or miss. Like if I don't like the tuna, I'll get an omelet. I'll get a French onion soup. But I need the tiniest taste. Just a little. I love it. A little bit. If you need, I'll pay a dollar for it. No problem. Just give me a taste of the tuna. OK, Josh. And we have one more more on mail. Great. The subject is the group trip spreadsheet. Oh, man, Josh, I've had these before. Hey, Ben and Josh. my friend created a fully color-coded spreadsheet for a three-day guy's trip. Tabs include budgeting, restaurant reservations, outfit themes, and vibe goals. Is this leadership or dictatorship? I think it's good leadership as long as no one is expected to stick to any of it. I completely agree. Yeah. Because I have those friends that they will plan the entire trip, They will plan the entire bachelor party and they have concocted in their heads that they're doing it for you when they're doing it for them. They're fucking control freaks. And then you try to change anything. You try to make a suggest a different restaurant and they say, well, well, I've planned this entire trip and they get all dramatic and it's just terrible, just terrible. I hate those kinds of people. So for me, it's no, I don't even think it's well intentioned. No good. And there's also like you can say, hey, if we're going to eat at six places over the weekend, like these three were like really hard res. I've heard great things. Let's do it. These other three are my suggestion. But if anyone feels strongly, let's do something else. A hundred percent. Right. I think that's the move. I think that's. Yeah, for sure. And it's not that precious. OK, you're on a you're on a boy's trip. It doesn't matter where you eat. Go grab a protein bar. OK, enough. No, be willing to let the be willing to let the trip get bad. That's the thing you're missing. It's like the inconveniences, the random plan B's and C's because the weather wasn't right or whatever. Like it can be great as long as you're not bringing a big black cloud to things. And but so many guys bring big black clouds, Josh. You find that very rare that guy. Yeah, I find at least at least with my friends, it's it's very rare that it's fully roll with the punches. Like, I think that I'm a roll with the punches guy for sure. But I think that there are a lot of people that when a plan goes awry, they're not able to quickly just get excited about the new plan, maybe once, but not not over and over again versus me. If we couldn't get into one restaurant, we go to the next one, we couldn't get into the next one. We end up at Taco Bell. I had a great night. The truth is I'm with you. If I'm with you, my friend, my wife, my kids. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. We can go eat wherever. I'm with you. Is there a song I'm with you? Yeah, it's Avril Lavigne. I'm with you. I'm with you. I'm with you. We went to get bagels. We wanted a schmear, but they ran out of schmear. That sucks. Right now. We went to get tacos, but there wasn't a cantina, so we ate a Taco Bell. That's cool. Right now. I love her. She's the best. Did she die and was she replaced? I don't think so, but that's a popular that's a conspiracy theory that she, the original Avril Lavigne died and was replaced. Why do people like to make these things up? Oh, man, I have a great conspiracy theory that we'll save for next week's episode. But I think we should do really quick before winning your nuts. Do you want to do best bite of the week? Oh, yes, I do. Yes, I do. Josh, you have a great one. My best bite of the week this week, my favorite thing that I ate is that I made a beautiful, soft, like really perfectly soft scrambled egg, soft scramble. Scrambled eggs should never be hard. And then, and this was always an Anthony Bourdain move that I learned from, I added right at the end, I added just like a thin strip of that Bourdain herb cheese, you know, this white cheese that looks like a little hockey puck. Yes. Yes. You put that down the middle. It was unreal. Simple, soft scramble, a little bit of salt, Bourdain cheese. Take me away. I love that your best bite of the week was something that you made. So I'm going to do the same. Josh, this week I made a Korean inspired brisket. This was it got the Claudia stamp of approval, which is if it gets that on something experimental, that means it was really fucking good. This was a marinade of soy sauce, rice wine vinegar, brown sugar, gochujang. This was outrageous ginger, garlic, the best the best bite of my month. and the best part about brisket, when it's good brisket, you put it in the fridge, you take it out the next day, it's better. Better. You take it out the next day, it's better. Be careful though, there is a time where it will turn. It's better, it's better, it makes you sick. So just be careful, okay? It is diminishing returns, but it's better, it's better, at least two days. So good. So freaking good. So good. Should we get to our what are your nuts moment of the week? We absolutely should. our gripes with people, places and things, both big and tall, whatever sticking in your craw. Josh, I've had enough with read receipts. OK, you you had them on for a minute. I did on for a minute. You did. You did. You did. Most of the time it's it's unintentional. That said, read receipts should not be a feature on Apple. They shouldn't. Nobody should ever be able to torment you like that because I can imagine for me as a 33 year old, it's frustrating when I text someone, I see red. I know that they're on their phone and they don't get back to me. But Josh, imagine these teens. Imagine how much they're playing with their fucking heads. Maybe there's a guy and a girl they're texting there. She's she's playing hard to get. He sees she's read it. She's read it. She's read it. I would have a fucking meltdown. Yeah. OK. What are you not read receipts? Not good for mental health. I absolutely love that. My What Are You Nuts is a residence inn. Now, this is a beautiful Marriott property. It's really my favorite. But I think what people need to understand is you're not a resident, okay? It's a hotel room with a kitchen. That's it. I was recently saying the residence inn, people are treating the hallways like it's the second floor of their home. they're walking around in ropes you know what i'm saying they're like me yeah if you lived in oklahoma me in oklahoma would be scary i'd walk naked on my front porch i would love it i see i would be naked all the time i'd be naked all the time me in oklahoma i'd be naked all the time just it's not the residence inn it's the people that live at the residence inn What are you nuts? Don't take residence so literally. No, no. I want to stay at a visiting then, you know? Visiting. Visiting. So stupid. Folks, this is five stars. Otherwise, what are you nuts? Rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast. Because look, the rating, reviewing, and subscribing is what grows the show. If you love the show, you rate it five stars. You send it to a friend. and you write a nice little review. And then once a week, we're going to read the five-star reviews because I'm not reading your dreck three-star review. What are you nuts? I don't need any of that. Five-star reviews only. But if you write a nice one, we're going to read it. Josh, we have a good one? Frickin' Weird wrote, what are you nuts? Five stars, my faves. And then she wrote five of these. That's hard hands. I love five hearts. Hard hands. I love that. Pretty good. Mondays and Thursdays, folks. We will see you next time. We sure will. Thank you.