#605 - Heather McMahan on Meeting Joan Rivers, Doing IVF Wrong & Shooting Her Shot with Jeff Foxworthy

This is an I Heart podcast. Guaranteed human. Hey, this is Robert from the Stuff to Blow Your Mind podcast. Joe and I are both lifelong Star Wars fans, so we're celebrating May the 4th with a brand new week of fun, thought-provoking Star Wars related episodes. Join us as we tackle science and culture topics from a galaxy far, far away, such as the biology of tontons and wampas on the ice planet hot, or the practicality and corporate business sense of the Sith rule of two. Listen to Stuff to Blow Your Mind on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I had a nurse DM me. She said that in her clinic, they have a problem with older men. They will come in and instead of giving their proper sample in a cup, they will spit in the cup instead. All right, today's guest is Heather McMahon, comedian, actress, the host of the podcast. Absolutely not. She blew up on Instagram after moving back home in Atlanta. We talk about this in just a second. You're going to hear the whole story. Very tough time in her life. And that turned into a lot of what she is now. And she is massive. When I told my friends she was coming up to do this podcast, all of them wanted to come and sit in. And you know what? They all did turn the camera. Okay, we can't turn the camera, but they're all here. Heather McMahon's here. Go see her tour. It's the bamboozled tour right now. And she has a cruise coming, which we talk about tickets. Heather on tour.com. Here she is. The reason that everybody's in the studio right now. The very funny Heather McMahon. Heather, great to meet you. Hey, lovely to meet you. My wife sent me with information. Yeah, I've listened to your podcast a lot through my wife. Yeah, which is probably how a lot of dudes hear you, right? Yeah, they're laying in bed at night and they're like trying to get some love and attention from their wives. And they just hear my voice over and over again. So they either have like a love hate relationship with me. And then they'll like come to a show and they'll act like they don't want to come. And then they're there and they have a blast. And then they're the ones hanging out afterwards at the meet and greet, being like, Hey, can I just get some solo photos? And you're like, yeah, yeah, Rick, I knew you liked me. Yeah, but I love that that is the gentle entrance for a lot of men into my comedy is, you know, through their spouses. And that's a beautiful thing. Well, my wife says, tell her that my wife and I went to Italy for the first time a few years ago. We've been a couple of times since. And she didn't say it was you at first. She says, hey, we got a recommendation to go to this restaurant. OK. And I was like, great. So it's a place called Perone or Perione. Yeah, that's what it is. Tretoria Perione. Shout out. We got in there and I was like, who told you to come to this? And she said, Heather. And I said, and then she said it was you. I said, oh, you heard it on the podcast. So now we've been twice, though. And she said, it's great. Yeah, it's great. And I'd never been to Italy, except I've gone now twice with her. That's a really cool place. It's a great place. And, you know, it's funny. I am not a creature of habit in any aspect of my life, except when I travel. I mean, I go to new places all the time. But when I have my little I love, especially with Italy, it feels like my second home. So when I go to Florence, which I've spent a lot of time there, I have my restaurants. I've got my I've got my espresso guy. I've got my cheese guy and Perione. I am so obsessed with the entire waitstaff there. They came to my after party at my wedding because I got married a little outside of Florence in Tuscany and the guys showed up and were like, you know, we were just like ripping shots and having a good time. So they are they hold a very special place in my heart. How long have you been married? I've been married. We had a COVID court wedding in 2020, but I've, you know, we had the big Italy wedding a couple of years ago, so five total. So we got married around the same time. We got married during COVID and we had that brief window where you could not wear masks, super mask then because we were masked up and then it was you could stop wearing masks. We timed it right. We had a wedding on our property and then it was COVID again. Everybody had to wear masks again. So we've been together about, I mean, when did you guys, how long did you have date before you married? I mean, we have been together almost 15 years. Oh, you've been together a long time. Yeah, we met in New York in our early 20s and then I moved to LA and we would have gotten married our third date, but he wanted to finish his like grant program and I was moving to LA and that's why I know I'm with the right person because he, my husband, at no point, even when I was like, I'm going to leave New York and go to LA and like follow the dream. He was like, I got to let you do this because I never, he said, I know we're in this for the long run and I don't ever want you to resent me for holding you back. And that's when you know you have a good man. So yeah, we've been together a long time. I was asking about your husband because another one of my friends who's on my show, she had said this morning, she said, you were going through your master's outfit. And she didn't know if there was a brand called Dong by God. Yeah, no. So she literally was, I was like, I don't think that's it. I think that was a joke. Yeah, that's a joke. So Jeff has been doing this thing. My husband is secretly one of the funniest people in my life. He is just ridiculous and he's so dry. But yeah, when he does his outfit, outfit of the day, he just started saying, Dong, my God, I don't know why and people run with it. I don't know where it came from and I'm so mortified by it. But I say, keep it going. You know, does he do anything in entertainment? No, absolutely not. I think my husband missed his real calling to be like a sports analyst or to be a football coach. And I know that every straight male and they're like mid 30s thinks that they were at one point could have been a coach, but he really has an analytic brain in a way that's just wild. And I tell him, I'm like, you need to do something. You need to go be the new like offensive lineman coach for Ole Miss or something. And that's no hate, no shade to whoever's doing the job right now. But, you know, I'm just like, he is so that's his zone. He's really, really smart at that. But no, I would never date anybody in entertainment. My wife is so funny and she just despises thinking of her doing entertainment. I feel like it's such a, she has such a skill. She's so funny, so sharp, so dry, so cutting if she wants to be and has no interest in using it at all. And I'm like, you're not using it. She goes, I am with us. Yeah. Well, and also I get all my best material from my husband because he's just such an idiot in the best way, like in the most loving way. I just live life and that's a thing in comedy. You know, you can go and just pound the pavement all the time and work your craft, which we all do. But if you don't actually just go out and live life, like I take the summers off and that's why I go to Italy. I'm like, I know in two weeks abroad, I will get more material from my husband acting like an absolute insane person while we're abroad. Then I will just, you know, hit in clubs every night. Like you got to go and live life to have a shared experience. So then what was you guys' story? If you guys, you didn't split, but you split off for a bit, right? Yeah. I mean, we were, we were wheeling and dealing, you know, we stayed together and he was in New York finishing, you know, starting his business and I was out in LA and then I moved back to Atlanta very abruptly after my dad passed. And he's like, well, at least you're back on the East coast. I mean, we had two pennies to rub together. We would fly back and forth to see each other. I mean, it was unbelievable. We were, you know, you stayed together the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's my boo. Yeah. Wow. So, and then I moved back to Atlanta and right before my dad died very abruptly, but my husband flew down to MD Anderson where my dad was getting treatment. And, you know, immediately asked for my dad's hand of marriage for me. And of course, my dad gave him my blessing, gave him his blessing and then the rest is history. How important was that to you that he get down and do that with your dad before he passed? You know, my, my late father, my husband had such a beautiful relationship. I'm sure he had asked him a million times before. But it was, I was so touched by it, you know. And then when my dad passed, I'll never forget we're in Houston and I couldn't find my husband. I like woke up and I was just like, you know, trying to process everything. And I look for my husband and I just see him in a park outside of our hotel. And he's smoking a cigar, sitting on a bench and tears are rolling down his face. And I was like, I have the best man. Like it was one of those where I knew he needed that moment to grieve my dad. And I feel so blessed that I had two wonderful men in my life. And I, I don't know, it's just, I feel so richly blessed that my dad really loved him. How does he do with your profession? He loves it. I mean, Jeff, that's the best thing. Like, yes, I, you know, do a lot of jokes at my husband's expense on stage, but we are each other's biggest cheerleaders. My husband loves it, you know. And also like I make the joke he gets to play a lot of golf, you know, because there's perks to the job. Everywhere we go, wherever I'm on tour, there's about 16 different husbands that will DM me and be like, can I take Jeff to play golf today? I'm like, yes, get him out of my hair, please. So he's been traveling the world, getting to play every exclusive golf course on the planet, which is very cool. But he loves it. I mean, he's my biggest cheerleader. And he, you know, it's funny because my last special bread winner was all about, you know, me stepping into like my power, making more money, like our crazy wedding. And every time I would get asked a question from reporters while I was doing press for it, you know, what does your husband think about you making fun of him on stage? And I'm like, no one asked male comedians, what their wives think, right? Like you just know that's a part of the gig. And it was so interesting how all of a sudden it was like, we have to feel bad for Jeff because I'm making jokes like, fuck that, you know, like, I'm sorry, he's doing fine. And he loves it. And I can always see him like when he's on the side stage, I can see him out of the corner of my eye and he's just like, you've loving it. So he's got a great sense of humor. You have to have a great sense of humor to be married to a comic. Yeah. Or does he watch every show? Not every show. No, and he doesn't come to all the shows with me. OK, I didn't know if that was the case. So he doesn't travel with you everywhere. No, he comes to the fun cities, but you know, like, no, he no shade to the smaller markets. But there are days where Jeff's like, I'm good. You know, and at the end of the day, I'm still married, so I will get off stage. And and then he's like, so what are we doing for dinner? I'm like, you figure it out. I just worked for 90 minutes. Like you you make an order, Jeff. Like there's still the same marital roles, even when you walk off stage. So you weren't making any money and you started to have success. Did you feel like you had become less relatable once you started to make money? No, I didn't think I became less relatable because at the end of the day, I have people around me who will not let me get away with shit. OK, I still live with my mother. Like my husband and I, even eight years into my career, just bought like our first home that we're going to live solo in. Like finally, I said, I need to be able to come off the road and not have my mom yell at me about my laundry basket like it's time. But I don't know. I mean, maybe some other people will say differently. But I really I keep a tight knit group around me of people that I've known for since I was a child. So I feel blessed that we have a good group around us. I've listened to the episodes with your mom. Yeah. Those are so good. Yeah, she's I mean, I get my my late father was so, so funny. But my mom is just unreal. She's unhinged. And I feel again, the material rights itself, like when you were around Robin McMahon, she's insane. It's just amazing. Does she ever feel the love or adulation towards her? I mean, if she ever out and people come up to her, she is worshiped. She is a goddess. She is an icon. And the best thing is, if you run into my mom at our local Trader Joe's, she will give you my personal phone number. And I I've had the same phone number since I was like 15 and first got a phone. And then I got a burner phone. My manager was like, too many people have your number. You need a different phone. So then I got the new burner phone and then no one calls that number. And it made me so sad. So I just will answer random phone calls and they're like, I met your mom at Trader Joe's. She gave me your number. I'm going through a hard time and I'm like, all right, Carol, tell me what's going on. I just love it. What did they think you wanted to be when you were a kid? I said, I think we have somewhere on home video. Like when I was four, I'm like, well, I'm going to be a funny girl. It's just what I called it. I either want to do that or be a lifeguard because I thought that that was a full time gig. And I just thought, you know, you'd sit on a lifeguard stand in a cu-bathing suit and eat chicken tenders all summer. And I thought that that would be awesome. But, uh, and then I took my SATs and we saw those results and I was like, I'm going to have to go into comedy because I'm definitely not going to be a doctor. But no, I always wanted to do comedy. And I was a theater kid growing up, did musical theater, one act plays, like competition plays. And then I got a BFA for acting and Ole Miss. So I, this was always kind of the trajectory. Now, whether or not it was going to happen was the scary thing. And my dad, who was very successful in, in his business would always say like, well, what if it doesn't happen? I'm like, don't worry about it. I don't know how to explain to people that there was never, there was a little voice in the back of my head that said, just keep going, be fearless about it. Cause I was like, what do I have to lose? Was there ever a time you did almost quit? Um, yeah, like every, like yesterday, you know, when I'm exhausted and running around and like, what's happening? For sure. But I just kind of kept going. I always had this feeling, this gut instinct that this is what I wanted to do. And it didn't come from a vain place. It's like, I genuinely love to get up every day and giggle. And I knew that other people would relate to that as well. So, I mean, yeah, of course, like it's great to see your name in lights and do all this. And you, there's such a high about getting on stage and, and having people admire you for your work. But I truly was like, I just want to get up there and giggle. And the fact that I can make money at this is insane. Did you move to LA already having done some comedy like in college? Yeah. So I actually did stand up the first time I ever did stand up. I was 16 and I roasted, I was at the junior senior prom and I roasted the senior class. So I had like a 30 minute set from that. I sent that old DVD to Jeff Foxworthy because he lived a couple of neighborhoods down from me in Atlanta and I dropped it off at his house and I see Jeff a lot. And Jeff said that he couldn't believe that I had the balls to do it. And he was like, you know, you sat in my living room and I, and I gave you advice and, you know, you never know what's going to happen. He's like, and dammit, if you didn't do it. So after I graduated high school, they were shooting blue collar comedy tour. They were shooting their sketch comedy show at the Alliance Theater in Atlanta. He gave me a writing assistant job that summer and I learned so much. I went to Ole Miss. I was doing comedy. I was in like an improv troupe. I left Ole Miss, moved directly to New York because I always wanted to do SNL. And I obviously like had a background in stand up, but I also loved characters and sketch. So I started training at UCB, which is Upright Citizens Brigade, which is kind of like the filter system into SNL. And I had an agent in New York that said, you're super commercial. You've got a great look. You need to go to LA. Like you, you'll SNL will happen, but you've got to go to LA. So I moved to LA and I always joke, like you have to leave. As soon as you leave LA, that's when it calls you back. As soon as I picked up my life and I had good success in LA, but I was really grinding and like figuring out who I was as an artist. And then once I left LA, now they always call you. And that's why I don't live in LA. I live in Atlanta. As soon as you move out of LA, that's when they need you. It's like the old saying as an actor, you never have an audition and then you finally take a vacation and now they need like 65 self tapes and a producer's call back and you're like, I'm in Barbados for the first time in three years. Fuck off. You know, I had spending a little bit of time there just randomly because I was in Texas forever, then I moved here. Yeah. Then I would never live there, but I would go there for a month at a time or like on Idol, we'd go out there for a couple of weeks at a time or whatever, whatever the case was. It just felt so insincere all the time because I didn't have a core group though. Like I didn't have a core group of friends out there. So I was only out there working and it was only working people. That just felt so instance, like all the time it felt like everybody was fake. And that is very much so the case, but I feel like I was there at a great time. I'm in my like, you know, early mid twenties. I was hustling, grinding, working every job you can imagine. And so I real jobs. Real job. Got it. Oh yeah. Like I worked the front desk at this bougie gym in West Hollywood called SoulCycle. Then you had real people around you there. I had real people around me. Yeah. But I was always smart because I always put myself and even though I was making $12 and 25 cents an hour at SoulCycle, I knew that every important producer, other comedians, all these people would come in. Whitney Cummings would come in and take class and I would like get her off the wait list, like Anna Gastier, all my favorite comedians. And I would drop a business card into Whitney Cummings bag every weekend. She never saw them. We're friends now. I've done her podcast. I was like, Whitney, you probably have in the bottom of some like old SoulCycle bags, like 50 of my business cards begging you for a job. Wow. I just was smart in how I positioned myself. And the wild thing was in New York, I worked like these incredible restaurant jobs, make great money. And then I would do comedy on my nights off and then I moved to LA. And because I was on a porn star, I could not get a job at a bar. They were like, unless you were a model, there's no way you could get a job. So then I was like, all right, I really got to hustle and really figure this out. Then what was the point when you're in LA where you're like, I got to get out of here? Like, what was going on? Well, the only thing is honestly, my dad passed so abruptly and suddenly. So I didn't want to leave LA. My mom, my dad died very quickly in like seven days. And so it was kind of like this whole shock. And I had such a great relationship with my dad and my family. So I thought I was just going to move back to Atlanta very temporarily, maybe for a couple of months, help my family figure out the new normal. I was like, grieve and put the pieces back together. And then I got back and I felt kind of trapped. And, you know, and then I was like, this is this grieving process is going to take a lot longer than I expected. But it was a beautiful blessing in the sense that I don't want to say like, you know, full circle, look at this, I've had this success because I went through this tragic thing. I don't want to say that. But I do think I had a richer perspective on life. And I was grieving. I mean, it's kind of unhinged. I would take like a X and drink a glass of white wine. And then like, let me talk on Instagram stories. And that's what I did. I use Instagram stories when they first came out as my 15 second moment to like pop out one liners and jokes. And it took off. So that's where I really like honed writing. And then I just lived my life. And honestly, my audience grieved with me in this wild way. And I think my comedy just became so much richer because I had such a more pointed point of view. And I had like really been through something raw and it exposed me and my comedy in a totally different way, if that made any sense. Yeah, you think that experience is I hate these words. You think that launched you though to a lot of people and their understanding or appreciation of you? Yeah, for sure. And it just made, you know, it humanized things in a way. And I think so many people reach out to me and they're like, I'm going through loss. I'm going through this. And oh, for sure, it definitely opened me up. But also using social media as that specific using that specific tool. I really honed that honed that skill of that little 15 second Instagram story. It's like all these kids that are blown up on TikTok. I was the and then I did put all my characters on Instagram. And that's how it just like took off. I'm friends with Denae Hayes. I love Denae. She's the best. The best, right? The best. I love her because she's fearless. Yeah. And I often look back at how naive I was a lot of times. And I'm very lucky I was that naive because if you actually knew what was about to happen, maybe you wouldn't pursue it, right? Yeah, it's terrifying. So but I love Denae and to watch her do a version of that. I think a lot inspired by you as well. I think she'd often say that too. But, you know, she just kind of lays all of her characters, every all of her jokes. Yeah. Do you find there are there's like a different I'd say generation because you're similar ages. But they just did a little after you that saw you do that and it kind of motivated them to do that same thing. I mean, listen, I'm Denae is one of my favorite people on the planet. And if she gives me any credit, I'm so honored that she does so. But these they're not going to the park. But for sure, I think and I miss that. Like the wild thing is when you start having success, like I always started in stand up, right? So for me, it's tough because I the characters bring me so much joy and it's so fraying and I love being that insane and ridiculous and goofy and silly. But then it's like I did the characters to get the stand up portion. And now I want to go back to the characters. So, you know, when I have a new audience, they know me from stand up. But the OGs know me that that's how I started. Right. So I mean, I'm going to do this show for Netflix as a joke. And I was like, I can either do my hour that I'm going to shoot two weeks after this this comedy festival, or I'm going to go back and do a character show and put on a bald cap and get weird and do what I want to do. Like I'm ready to tap into that avant-garde performance art because that's what brings me a lot of joy. You know, anybody can go see my stand up. Come on to our Heather at tour.com, you know, let's take a quick pause for a message from our sponsor. Hey, this is Robert from the Stuff to Blow Your Mind podcast. Joe and I are both lifelong Star Wars fans, so we're celebrating May the 4th with a brand new week of fun, thought provoking Star Wars related episodes. Join us as we tackle science and culture topics from a galaxy far, far away, such as the biology of Tontons and Wampas on the ice planet, Hoth or the practicality and corporate business sense of the Sith rule of two. Listen to Stuff to Blow Your Mind on the iHeart radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back on the Bobby cast after you record your hour. Yeah. When you start over completely start over. And I always record my hour at the end of my tour. Some people like to do in the middle, but I I it is such a weird feeling because you shoot the hour and then you walk off stage and you're like, oh, that was so much fun. What a relief. And then you're like, oh, shit, I got to start from scratch again. It is the weirdest mental game with yourself. Will you do smaller shows and practice material? Are we just launching another tour and just no, I will definitely do more. Go and club it out and I will go live my life this summer. I will have a full blown experience and then I'll work the clubs, you know, in the fall and then do another tour. Do you ever pop in and never not tell people you're coming? No, not really. I mean, no, I'll let them know. But yeah, I'll pop in and do shows here and there and just kind of feel it out. But I also to the way my story runs, because I'm an old theater kid. And I probably said this on too many podcasts, but I like to have an idea of a full show. I will lock myself in my basement in my office for two weeks and just beautiful minded out, you know what I mean? It will look like the scene from Homeland with Kerry Matheson and all the things connecting. I like to have a full story and then obviously I write on the road and figure things out. But I am going out with an hour. I will figure that out. I will work out chunks and clubs, but I am when you were coming to that, I really like to have it all. It's a feeling. I want you to feel a bunch of different emotions at my shows. From the moment that you walk in, that playlist is going to set the exact tone and mood, the video, like every element, it's a full production. You did a cruise last year. You're doing it this year. I've never been on a cruise before. We did one, too. It's pretty wild. Yeah. You're contained. And you're just vulnerable. Yeah. Vulnerable is the best way to describe it. And that's not a negative thing. It's both. It's both. But it's contained and vulnerable. And what did you think about that experience? I had the best four days of my life. It was four days. It was four days. Or four nights, five days, right? Yeah. I think it was unreal. And I was in a sorority. So I knew I felt like this was going to be one giant chapter meeting. I was pumped. Well, first of all, it's surreal because I'm on, I'm in the same place. I'm in this like insane suite that overlooks the Lido deck. People cannot see in, but I can see out. So every morning at 6 a.m., the entire production staff would stand out on the deck. They would raise flags on the side of the ship that have my face on it. And I was standing in the window with my hands behind my back and my husband walks by. And he goes, OK, Kim Jong-un, pipe down. Like, you look insane. I was like, here I am looking over my hermit kingdom. It was wild. But then the experience on the ship was so much fun. I basically say it's like Adult Spring Break meets a chapter meeting, meets Girls Gone Wild in the best way. It was just the best four days of wholesome, non-judgmental. We all have the same mind, same likeness, and we just want to have a good time. It was, it was thrilling. I loved it. And that's why when it was such a success and they're like, do you want to do another one? I was like, let's go. How did you feel? I get really seasick, emotion sick. I scroll on my phone, I get sick if I'm if I'm walking. It's terrible. Are you like constantly on a drip of dramamines over and doesn't work? Really doesn't work. And I had a really bad experience. I had a show on that geo for a while and we spent time on the water and I threw up the whole time. And so I had to get up in between throw ups to shoot. And so all my it was just miserable. You're deep trauma from it. Big time. And so I was like, I don't know if this is going to work, but they really wanted to do it. And I agreed. But I said, hey, I'm going to come on. I'm going to do three nights of the seven. Sweet seven night cruise. Oh, wow. I know. Yeah. Yeah, but I have such insecurity by people even coming. So I thought this is an expensive ticket. Yeah. We all do, right? So I was I think mostly I was really worried about that. And I used emotion sickness as an excuse for so long because I'm like, I'm seasick. Right. Really, I just think people would buy tickets to come on a cruise with me and us. And so I got a little emotion sick. I'm in a musical comedy. Do we play a couple of shows that night? And it was good. But my wife was nine months pregnant at the time. Oh, wow. And our doctor was like, you really should not go on the cruise. Right. But it was these people I paid three thousand dollars to be on the cruise. Listen, this is showbiz, baby. OK, she could be crowning. But you know what you're doing? Lights, camera, action. We're doing the bits off the cruise. So when on the cruise for the first part of the cruise, had to leave a little early because my wife, the doctor was like, hey, if you're going to go, you can't be trapped at sea at any time. Like if you're going to be able to get to a port each day, you're all good. So did that, didn't get that sick. I liked that everybody kind of got to know each other. Yeah. There's that initial like what's I'd never been on a boat that big either. That to me was wild to see a boat with elevators. See, I grew up cruising. Let me tell you something right now. Your girl thrives on a ship. I'd never been on one. We were like the kids at the captain's table. I had the Shirley Temple curls. I'm drinking a Shirley Temple. I'm in like my my debutant dress and I, you know, hanging out with Mickey and Minnie. I thrived. You know me Disney Cruises. I did as a kid. I mean, I just and I love every aspect of it. And I love that you're trapped. People who know me know that I like to trap people. Like at my wedding, the biggest compliment was not about the flowers, the food. The biggest compliment was bringing people from all aspects, timelines of my life. And they were like, I loved your friends from LA. I loved your Ole Miss friends. And now everyone's still friends. I get a sick high off of like, we're all having fun together. Is everyone having fun? Like I could be miserable, but I'm like, are you having so much fun? It's a sickness. I don't know what it is. Somebody diagnose me online, please. But I love bringing a sense of community. I was afraid to commit to a second one. As soon as it sold out there, like, let's do a second one, but I've been on the first one yet. Yeah. And so I was like, I can't do it. I can't commit to a second one. I don't know how I'm going to feel. And then two, I don't know if I'm going to like it. And it was great. So we committed to a second one for next year as well. Great, you should. I'd never been, but I'd never seen a boat with an elevator. I saw a flat bottom, a trolley motor is where I grew up. So that was wild to actually get on like a freaking airport. It's like a massive airport to get on the boat. And then you're on the boat and you're like, OK, and then when it leaves, you're like, well, we're doing this. We're in international waters. We're out here. Yeah, it was pretty. It was much cooler than I thought it was going to be. I didn't get as sick as I thought I was going to. And I liked the experience because I thought I'd be weird around or being trapped. I don't like being trapped. I'm a big control guy. OK, and I see that. And I like that. But I respect that because I am not a control gal. I need more control in my life. I have no boundaries. I'm like, what is your name? OK, Carl, come on over. I'm going to make you a grilled cheese. Tell me your family drama. And then we'll end up exchanging social security numbers. Like I need to have boundaries in my life. So I love that you're a control person. I will say it was so funny. I now after I mean, we learned so much on the first cruise. But when I say like it was actually so much fun, if I feel this anxiety of how do we top the next one and Denay's coming on the next cruise and we have such a fun lineup and we're going to continue to add more talent. But I literally like that was so much fun. And I got off the ship and I did not even know what an adrenaline. I mean, just crash though afterwards because I also learned how to maintain my energy. But every night I would be dancing into club with with everybody. Shout out to DJ John Stamps. I literally told our DJ said, I want you to play two early 2000s rap. And we are going to be from the windows to the walls. I want to be grabbing my ankles, busting down, thought Deanna. And when I see just saw the unbridled joy on everyone's face, just letting their hair down at 3 a.m. in open water is just having a blast. I that was the highlight of the ship. But then every night I would sit. I never got to any of the restaurants because, you know, you're working, you're running around. I didn't sleep for five days. And I would sit and my manager found me one night in my room in between shows. And I'm just eating a T-bone steak by myself. She's like, are you OK? I was just in silence in the dark, eating a steak. I was like, I just have to recalibrate for a minute. And so I only lived off steak on the on the ship because I would have like a 20 minute window to like scarf something down. I'm like pure protein. I just eat protein. So my butler in the ship was like, she's had a lot of steaks. Like we're worried about her. She hasn't shit in four days. Did you ever watch the show on Netflix about the woman that was on the cruise? Did I? The one who went missing? Yeah. So actually, I said the next cruise, we should just go to that port in Curacao and we will find them. If I have two thousand women on a ship, you don't think we could find her in 35 minutes? You just release all at once. Release the Hounds. Yeah. Truly. Release the Hounds are all running around like Lily Pulitzer. They would find her. I was furious by that documentary. Me too. And when I was on the cruise, I had perfectly time to watch it. I don't know, two weeks before I'm on the cruise, like a moron. Yeah, I should. I shouldn't have watched it. It's like, you know, watching airplane crash news before you get on the flight. Right. And I watched it right before. And then I found myself looking to see someone. I couldn't have fallen over my boat. Like there was nowhere to fall into because there were like lifeboats around the side. What do you think happened to her? I think she was trafficked. I think she got off the island, whether she was drugged or she was kind of had a wild night and ended up leaving with that guy. And I think she's still alive. I think she's somewhere out there. OK, the part of the documentary and I haven't seen in a minute. So correct me if I'm wrong. The part of the documentary where somebody flags that like the dad found a essentially, you know, an ad for her online. Yeah. And nobody tried to order her. She was like, down in Venezuela. I agree. I would have been like, hello, order. Yes. How much money? $100,000. Send her my way. Can't wait to be a pervert. And then you're like, she's home. We got her. Yeah. Yeah, same. I was here. I look, I got goosebumps right now. I'm so angry about that documentary. I just don't trust that documentaries are really giving me the 360 of the reality of what they found that they're giving us what they found. But they're. Adding or taking a little away for the sake of the entertainment of us. Right. Taking in the story, because there was also the part during the like Christmas when whomever would always come to her website on Christmas and Thanksgiving. Yes. And it was like, can you not track back? Like we have the ability to track everything. Right. They're listening to this through our phone right now. They're monitoring, you know, whatever. They're making sure you and I are saying straight stuff right now. Yeah. We can't figure out who, where that's coming from, who that who's logging on to that site. First of all, and I would have never left the island. But that was my kid. My ass would be in Curacao. I would be a resident. I would run for president. I'd be the mayor. I would run the whole damn country after that. Like, and I thought about that when I saw that, I was like, my dad would have never left that island. It wouldn't happen. Now, I know, you know, we don't know all the details, but I was just like, and I'm not a parent, but I could only imagine if my kid was missing. And I know she was what, 21? No, I wouldn't be there. I'd be running the damn country. It's a great point, though, by just ordering the kid. Yeah. Why didn't you order it? Order the damn kid. And at that point, she was like 30. It looked like her. And then they had like that FBI forensic gal who was like, yeah, the tattoos match up. You shit, the tattoos match up. Yeah. And it's not AI. Like they did that kind of evaluation of it as well. Like there's been no heavy manipulation of the picture. Yeah. That's a crazy one. So you don't have kids. Don't have kids. I was asking my wife some questions because I had listened sporadically to the podcast. That's where I've consumed most of you. Right. It's a weird thing to say. But I've consumed most of you. I like that. Yeah. Honestly, kind of sexy. I like that. OK, I'll take it. She said that you were talking about and I may mess this up. So please forgive me. You were talking about possibly IVF, but you were talking about how you were doing it and you were doing it wrong and someone messaged you and said, hey, you're not doing this correctly. Yeah. So I did IVF wrong twice in a row. During the pandemic, I was home off tour and I said, OK, I'm going to get proactive about my fertility. I went in and thought it was going to be a quick in and out. I'm going to get a couple embryos, easy breezy and really, you know, have control of my life. I get in there and my doctor's like, you should have done this 10 years ago. So I had to get really aggressive with trying to get some eggs. I did two rounds of it. So you're doing what, two weeks of shots, you know, five shots a day. The first round, we couldn't get any eggs. Right. Like I had nothing developed enough to retrieve an egg. And then I'm talking about on the podcast, because that's also like my weekly therapy is just trauma dumping on the podcast. And then I went for another round and they were like, you're completely mixing the medicine wrong. So I would put they who told you that just nurses on the Internet. OK, you're like DMs. Yeah, DMs were like, hey, you're not doing this right. Because I would pre batch it. So you have to mix all these medicines together. First of all, I'm not a chemist. It's insane to me that they send home me a civilian of the world just to go home and mix all these drugs and then inject myself. Unreal. Now I know that there's like concierge nurse services where they can come over and like, make sure you do it right. I went to Ole Miss like, OK. And so I was pre batching the medicine and then putting it in the vials and putting it on a tray in my in my fridge in the garage. Like, oh, it's fine. And they're like, no, you have to mix the medicine in that moment. You know, I just I threw thousands of dollars down the train because I didn't read the directions right. So kids read the directions thoroughly. But no, it was very complicated. And also my body was just like, you know what, Heather, we decide we're going to give you some more material. So we're just going to have you struggle a bit. And then I finally did a Hail Mary third round and we got one embryo and it's wild now with the technology. So I know I have a daughter on ice. Like that's crazy. They know the gender. They know the gender. Uh-huh. We I have a daughter on ice. So I'll probably do another round this fall to try and get some more. But it's a gnarly and of course I wanted to share that experience. I get asked a lot, like, what made you share this? I'm like, because I know that my audience, that's 80 percent women, how many of them are also going through this experience? How many of them were like, what in the hell am I doing right now? And no one talks about it. And then you go to the fertility clinic. You're sitting on couches, you know, four couches this size. Everyone's in there doing the same blood draw is confused, bloated, pissed off, angry, unwell. And then the men will always come in and like drop off their like semen sample. And they kind of come in sheepishly and they're like, hey, you know, it's like, walk away. We don't care, Bruce. Get out of here. Just leave us. We're all pissed off because we're on hormones, you know, um, but it was a wild experience. Semen sample thing's embarrassing, no. So insane. I had to do that. You had to do that. Well, I am not 25. Yeah. And so before my wife and I were like, Hey, we're going to have a baby. I was like, I need to get tested. Yeah. And so I proactively went up. That's a weird thing to do because everybody knows what you're doing. Everybody knows what's like they know what you're doing cooler. We know baby. Well, no, they even know once you go in there, like what's like, they know behind that door, there's no extra vision, but they know what's happening behind that door. They know you're sitting on that awkward leather couch with your just your magazines, if you will. You know, it's crazy. And this is not breaking a hip of violation because we don't know who did this. I had a nurse DM me. She said that in her clinic, they have a problem with older men. They will come in and they, instead of giving a semen sample, if they, if like an older guy needs on like his third marriage to a younger woman, and instead of giving their proper sample in a cup, they will spit in the cup instead. Because, you know, they don't want her to get pregnant. They don't want her to get pregnant. They don't want to have kids. They don't have the balls to be like, Hey, Trish, don't want to have another kid with you. So they say they see this a lot that these old and then they just have to say, Oh, it's an inconclusive, you know, specimen. We can't, we can't read it. And they'll just do it over and over again. And then they've been like, have the balls to tell your wife, you don't have kids. And they probably all know what's going on. They are, they all look at each other like, inconclusive, inconclusive. That's crazy. So if you're a young gal out there and you're married to an old man and you're getting inconclusive, sit him down, take him for all of his money. And he's not giving you a kid. Yeah. Well, I got, I didn't get inclusive. I got LeBron on mine. Yeah, it's pretty good. Hell yeah. They came out and they were like, which one of you? Yep. That's right. I thought for sure it was going to be, I could blame my husband for this, but he also was a LeBron, but now he's addicted to Zins. He is fully addicted to Zins. And if we're going to do another round, I keep getting these ads like, you know, get off nicotine for a while. And my husband, you know, listens to like a biohacking thing where it's like, Oh, you can have 45 Zins in your upper lip a day, but because it's pure nicotine, you're going to be fine. And I'm like, Oh, are you zinned out right now? You get real zippy around the house. So I'm going to have to deal with that monster this summer of being like, get off the Zins. There are people like even Tucker Carlson, his clips will come up talking about nicotine and he's going, nicotine's great. It's got a bad rep. Big Pharma is trying to cancel nicotine. I, I'm, I don't know who to believe about what now. I don't either. And the fact that I see some Tucker Carlson clips now and I'm like, he has a point. I'm so confused. I think we're all very confused. Candace Owens too. Sometimes she comes up and I'm like, I agree. What the crap? Let me tell you something. My girlfriend sent me a clip of hers the other day and I was like, I'm going to have to dial into this 12 part series of what's happening. I mean, really, truly we are living the upside down, up is down, left is right. I don't know what's happening. But yes, the, and then I've also heard of some women that will do the nicotine patches and it's supposed to be great for your hormones. So I'm willing to be a guinea pig and try anything for the greater good. But my husband, it seems to say that the, yeah, the Zen pouches are really elevating his health. And I'm like, I don't think that's the case. How do you feel about bringing the kid into the world? That's a great question. I just had a baby and I struggle not with having a baby, but with like what is happening. But then I think to myself, okay, prohibition happens. Yeah. And these parents are like, we can't believe our kids are going to be around when alcohol is here because they went through prohibition. Right. And with us now, and they're like 12 year olds who won't think weeds weird when they get older because it's legal in a lot of places. But and this is a weird thought. But I'm like, well, my daughter, who was just born weeks ago, thinks that aliens are normal. Will they be real? Yeah. Will they be her buddies? Yeah. Because it kind of hopes that's happening now. Like what will she have the internet, for example, when we were young, like we got to see no internet and internet. You know, if you're born in like the eight, I was born in the eighties. Eighties. Yeah. We got to not have internet and have internet. So we got that weird. And so kids now don't know not having the internet. Yeah. But that also brought a lot of bad. I don't know. I just, I just struggle with like what she's going to struggle with it all the time. And you know, I, I really do. I'm like, do I need to bring another person into this world? No. Does the world need another person? Yeah. And but then I think like I'm fun. So yes, like maybe I, maybe my offspring is the one who can change the world. Probably not. Um, yeah, it is a gnarly feeling. And I agree that we do grow up in the best time because I mean, there was nothing better than dial up internet, right? That cord went into the back of the phone jack and then went into the back of the computer and then the phone line was tied up. So like, if God forbid there was a family emergency, no one new grandma died because you were like in chat rooms, just tinkering away. Those were the golden years. Okay. Chat rooms were awesome. Chat rooms were the best. Chat rooms were the absolute best. So I, I agree. And I mean, I'm even trying to like understand AI and do all this and really stay up and even my brain feels rattled. I think I am getting dumber. I will say like the brain is completely fried. So I'm trying to figure out how to have a sense of like, I don't want computers to run my life, but like, how do I not use Google? Like how do I actually have my synapse fire enough so that I can make decisions on my own without asking my phone? I feel like my brain rot comes from slowly replacing reading with Tik Tok. Like just slowly. Slowly. And I'm trying to, you know, be purposeful with reading books because it's so easy not to, because there's so much content everywhere. And I find myself doing the same going, I'm probably day by day slowly just on Tik Tok more, which is not good. Obviously it's not good for our brains. Oh, the rot. I mean, I get to the point where it's like the little, the little like night owl pops up and it's like, you've been scrolling for three and a half hours. You're going to die soon. Please. Are you okay? Are you okay? Pick up your Bible, bitch. Like figure it out. Like when China is asking you through Tik Tok, if you're okay, yeah, is something is wrong because I do the same thing. That message comes on. It's like a young woman. Hey, yeah, maybe she'd get off Tik Tok. Maybe she'd get off Tik Tok. Maybe you should like let your brain simmer for a little bit. Yeah. And isn't it in China that they don't allow you can't get on it? You can't get on it. It's only learning to talk until like 12 years old. Smart. But they give it to us. That's full McDonald's. I thought about downloading one of the apps. I don't know if they're kind of BS, but it'll like teach you history lessons instead. So you still get the addiction of like scrolling, but you're learning about like, I don't know, you know, a couple of world wars. Like that's what I need to do. I don't know if that addiction would feel the same. But then I see like this. There's a guy right now who ordered eggs on Facebook marketplace and he and then he's in a fight with this woman. And I'm like, I need to know about the eggs from Facebook marketplace. Like I am dialed in to random people's drama and I it brings me so much joy in my life. And then I'll sit down at dinner with people who are not on Tik Tok and they have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm like, you guys are losers. Get with the program. There was a double-edged sword. The story of the Charlie Sheen documentary where he was maybe hardcore on crack and whatever the drug was, and they started slowly weakening it. That's what I need to happen. I need like some of the 15 second tiktoks to be history lessons. Like out of my control, I just need to see this is Thomas Jefferson. Even if I just need people to replace it slowly, because I do the same thing. I need to know what the Alex Cooper, Alex Earl drama is. And then I also need to know about who, what, what was Thomas Jefferson about? I respect that. And then you can hit me with Breonna chicken fry, but I need Thomas Jefferson in the middle of that. I need to know about the, the Egyptian times. Same. The Bobby cast will be right back. Hey, this is Robert from the stuff to blow your mind podcast. Joe and I are both lifelong Star Wars fans. So we're celebrating May the 4th with a brand new week of fun, thought provoking Star Wars related episodes. Join us as we tackle science and culture topics from a galaxy far, far away, such as the biology of tons and wampas on the ice planet, hot or the practicality and corporate business sense of the Sith rule of two. Listen to stuff to blow your mind on the I heart radio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is the Bobby cast. Do you ever pull videos, you ever put one on and then go like that? Either didn't work or I don't like what I said and take it down. No, I definitely think they're, listen, I have a team now that helps me like figure out the algorithm. And even then I haven't figured it out. I do think there are days where I'm like, what is happening? But no, I don't really pull. I am so, I know that I can't compete with these kids who have tick talk down to a fucking science. So I'm just like, let it rip. Just let it rip. And the videos that are not produced, that is literally me picking up my phone and being like, this is what I feel in this exact moment are always the ones that go viral. So I hate getting these like hyper reels about like, look at how glamorous tour is. Look at how crazy it is. We do it because we sell tickets, but in the reality, people want to hear me bitch about whatever, you know, feud I'm having at that exact moment with my husband. Do you still get nervous about ticket sales? I mean, for sure, everybody, right? I mean, I've been very blessed that it's been successful, but yeah, there are days and I'm still even going into newer markets where I mean, I feel like I've hit every market, but there's still days where I'm like, hey, I've never played Juno. Let's go. You know, and you don't know what's going to happen. But it's also so competitive. I'm so honored that people come to my shows and have a good time that I've repeat customers. I'm like, that's what it's about. And yes, if new people come along, fantastic. But I'm doing it for the people who've been there since the beginning. Are there any comedians now that you look at and have like a professional, healthy jealousy of because they're so good? Oh, yeah. Well, you know, I think it's just incredible to see like what Leigh-Anne's done. And, you know, I have like eight shows and development and they never get picked up. So I would like to being on the road is the most magical thing and stand up as my one true love, but I would love to be acting more. So anybody who's been able to have their own show or to translate that to television, that's really my first love. So I would love to have that. Yeah. Like that's why Whitney's cool. Yeah. Well, she's awesome. She's very funny. She's very funny. She also writes for other people. Very funny. And she also writes for herself. Very funny. Like she kind of nails all of those. When you say you have all these shows and development, are you the center of all them? I am the center of all them. But this one, this show that I have at Hulu right now is my real joy because I'm finally playing somebody other than myself. And again, it taps and this is the one, please dear God, let this go. Let this go to get picked up. This is the one where I'm like, it's tapping into the, like how I started where, yes, I stand up will always be about me, but playing a gnarly role where I'm telling somebody else's story that I've of course written and created is really what I want to do. You know, I got into comedy because I grew up on Joan Rivers and if I could emulate her career, I mean, I'm obsessed with her. I got to meet her. She gave me her blessing in comedy. I feel very grateful for that. But like my dream is to eventually be on QVC one day, hawking Pajminas and talking to women in the middle of the night while I'm smoking cigarettes and drinking white wine, being like, honey, tell me your problems. You need 49.99. You can have two calf tans that'll make you feel fantastic. Like that's the goal, right? To just have a product, sell it, and then I'll live in the Turks and Kekos or Tuscany and you'll never have to hear my annoying voice ever again. The fact that she would save and organize all of her jokes was pretty amazing. Pretty amazing. How attention to detail she was. Yeah. Like, and then, you know, Gene Smart and Hacks is loosely roughly based on that situation. And you say you get to meet her? I got to meet her. So I would go, I worked at a restaurant on 43rd between eighth and ninth and there was a club right across from it. And when I'd get off my shift, I'd go see Joan. And she would have these giant note cards on stage. I mean, she was in her eighties, had these giant note cards on stage and she's ripping through jokes. And I would always like hang outside the back door and she would come out and I'd be like, Miss Rivers, I love you. I have a lot of photos with her and she was still kind. So I moved to LA. I'm in, I'm sitting at this bar by myself that my buddy was bartending at and I hear her. I hear her walk in the door. She, and she was the one who told me, she said, you need to go to LA. You've got a commercial look. So she sits in a booth and I'm like, Oh my God, Miss Rivers is here. So I go up to the booth and her assistant at me is like, do you want a photo? I was like, no, no, no, I've got a photo with Joan. I said, Joan, I want you to know I followed your lead. You told me to come to LA. I'm here and thank you so much for giving me that advice. And I'm, I'm three days in, but I hopefully this works out. She's so kind. I go and sit back at the bar. She wraps up her dinner. She comes up and she's like, I have a good feeling about you. She said, you have Hutzpah. You followed your gut. You're going to make it. Don't worry. You got this. So when she passed away, I was working at SoulCycle in West Hollywood. I came out, I had taken a class. So I come out of the spin glass. The entire staff looks like, like ill. They're white as a ghost. And I'm like, what's going on? I thought they were about to tell me my entire family had died. They were like, you need to sit down. Jones passed. I mean, I was inconsolable and I knew her very, very loosely, right? Just as a fan. And I mean, people sent flowers to my apartment. She died when she died. I was devastated. And so years later, after she passed, they had a big auction at Christie's. And I didn't have any money. This is what I was like first starting out. And all I wanted were these giant Tiffany Silver dog bowls with her dog's name on them. I was like, this is so cool. Didn't have any money. Didn't get them. And then she, they just did another auction last year for her stuff. And I'm on a flight on my way to my show in Tampa and I'm like, honey, you got to get in there. Like, I can't, I can't do this on the plane. And my husband won for me one of her tour jackets. Oh, wow. And it's the first thing going in my new house. It's gorgeous. It's like champagne color with feathers. And I'm going to put it in a giant acrylic box and I want you to walk in my home and be like, this is the house that Joan built. And I'm friends with Melissa now, her daughter. And she brings me on her podcast and it is so full circle. Like when I started doing the E-Rig carpets, it was because, you know, Joan did it. It's just, I love her so much. And she was really my idol in comedy. Who else? Um, you know, I go back, I loved a Richard Pryor, I love a, a Carlin. Um, I liked anybody who said the thing, who did not hold back and who said it. And I think if Carlin was around right now, my God, he said, you go back and watch his stuff. It is so poignant. I watched it last night. I literally watched George Carlin. I do advertising all by last night. Everything that he's saying back then, 20, 30 years ago is happening right now. Yeah. And the story of his special that he recorded right before 9 11. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. I was a massive George Carlin fan. I never got to see him and do a live show and I bought tickets to see a show and he was coming to Austin. I lived in Austin at the time and he was playing the Paramount, which is like my favorite theater and he died like a week before I got to go watch him. But I was a massive fan then and to watch his stuff now, it resonates so hard right now. Yeah. I don't think I've fully got it or maybe time's worn us crazy for me then. I had a theater teacher at a very religious school that I went to in Atlanta and he would always tell me, he's like, Heather, you'd love George Carlin. And he like wasn't supposed to like be pushing Carlin on me. He's like, trust me, trust me. You'll like the Doobie brothers and you'll love George Carlin. And so I was like 14 and listening to Carlin like he just, I adored him. When I did my honors thesis in college at the present, it was 70 pages and it was in front of the faculty. Wow. And I did it on his, the seven words you can't say on TV radio. Right. But I did, I used that, but how the industry and the FC is changing. You can say some of these words now, but I used his, like I was such a, I was so inspired by George Carlin. I used that entire, it's more than a joke, but that monologue with jokes. Which is one of the best. Yeah. And I love that. And you know, I hate now when people are like, are you a clean comic or like, you know, don't you love clean comics? That's great. That's their thing. But my whole, my whole shtick is, it's not even a shtick. I'm saying the things on stage that all of my girlfriends are saying while they're playing Mahjong, while they're in their mommy and me group, while they're figuring it out. So why would I filter myself on stage? If that's, if these are the real conversations that are people, that people are having, do you feel that it hurts you in privates at all? Or do you just clean up it when you do a private? Wait, let's say that again. Like a, like a private gig. Oh, gig. Oh no. I mean, listen, I can clean up for corporate all day long. I mean, those corporate gigs are fantastic. Send me to a convention center somewhere in Boise and I will, what are we selling? Windex? I will do Windex jokes all day. I'm trying to buy a boat, you know? But no, no, it doesn't hurt me. But it's, it's funny too, especially being a female comedian, people will say like, so you're not a clean comic. I'm like, no. And just because I'm a woman, if that's always a question, I'm going to say the things that all women are saying on stage. Like, why would I? Oh, now I can't say that for it. What are we doing here? We're adults. We're adults here, you know? Let's take a quick pause for a message from our sponsor. Hey, this is Robert from the Stuff to Blow Your Mind podcast. Joe and I are both lifelong Star Wars fans, so we're celebrating May the 4th with a brand new week of fun, thought provoking Star Wars related episodes. Join us as we tackle science and culture topics from a galaxy far, far away, such as the biology of tontons and wampas on the ice planet hot or the practicality and corporate business sense of the Sith rule of two. Listen to Stuff to Blow Your Mind on the iHeart radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back on the Bobby cast. How do you know the show didn't go well? Yeah, you can feel it. Can I tell you when you know the show crushed? You could be out there. Of course, your fans are going to love your shit. When I walk off stage and a security guard's like, damn, girl, let me get your number. They're like, really love the shit. When I walk off stage and I've either made one of the union guys in a theater laugh really hard or a security guard. I'm like, I crushed. Who has seen every show and is also they're doing a job. Yeah. Yeah, they didn't come for that. They just come to do their hours. Yeah. I was just in Red Bank, New Jersey, and I love that theater. And these guys afterwards are like, I'm telling you right now, we filmed so many specials here. That was the funniest night. I had so much fun. Oh, my God. You know, have you thought about doing TV? You know, they think they've discovered you. I'm like, I played this theater four times. Like you really should think about doing this full time. And I'm like, I had a sold out show, sir, of 2000 people. But yes, I will consider doing this full time. I had a really good time. And I'm like, thanks, Mo. I appreciate it. What are you taking a break again? This summer, because I'm going to shoot my special at the end of May in Knoxville. And then I you won't see me for two months. You know, of course, I have my podcast and we running around. But I travel in the summer and I just I unplug. Why Knoxville? You know, it's funny. I love shooting my specials in the South. My first one was in Kentucky. My last one was at the Foxy in Atlanta. And after this whole lane kiffin debacle at Ole Miss, I had so many people reach out to me from Tennessee. And they were like, Heather, we have we we went through the same thing as you. We know your heart broken by Lane Kiffin going to LSU. Please come to your special here. And I adore Knoxville. It's a great comedy crowd. And I said, you know what? We're all in this together. We're all grieving together. I'm going to shoot it in Knoxville. Have you met Pete Golding yet, the new coach? So I'm his wife is my sorority sister and she's a doll. No way. Yeah. Yeah. So you're in. I'm in. But I haven't met him yet. But you're in. I'm in. So if you know the wife, I know I'm in. It's shout out to all my Delta game of sisters. Yeah, so I'm in. And I really, truly adore Ole Miss. And I ended up there on a total whim. That's not where I wanted to go to school. And it ended up being the best four years of my life. I now own a home there that I ran out for football games. And Oxford is such a magical place. And it truly changed my life. And so I'm just the biggest Ole Miss fan. Do you hate cowbells? I hate them. That's not. Noxious. Yeah, it's tough. The only time each every year, Cowbell is in the Will Ferrell SNL sketch. OK, other than that, you're out of your minds. And I even dated a guy that went to who lived in Starkville. And I never once visited him. I said, if you want this relationship to work, you're going to have to come to Oxford. I'm not going down there. And I have plenty of friends that went to Mississippi State. But I'm like, no, I'm not going there. Yeah, absolutely not. I really appreciate coming by. This has been awesome. Hey, I am such a fan of yours. And I really appreciate it. And and I just, you know, it's it's such a refreshing, honest conversation and congratulations on everything you're doing. Truly. Oh, thanks. I've I don't. Yeah, I had a baby. That's all we're doing. Listen, that's huge. That's all. Like that's what it's it's it's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot. And you know, in a great way. And I want to make sure that nobody's confusing what I'm saying. Yeah, it's awesome. But it's a lot. It's a lot. And you're obviously a good dad and a good partner. So you want to you're all hands on deck. And I think it's a lot. It doesn't matter who it's happening to. It's a lot. I feel like I don't think I'm a good dad or good partner. And hopefully that makes me a good partner. Oh, wow. Why do you think that you're not a good dad or partner? Well, because it doesn't make you a good partner because you actually care. That's it. I'm so concerned about it. But I don't know if there's actual actually the ability to be a good dad or good partner, because whatever it is, I don't feel like I meet whatever standard that is. But then I can go. Well, maybe that's what makes me a good partner because I continue to try to achieve a higher standard. Yeah. Yeah. Have goals and expectations for yourself. Spent a lot of time in therapy. I got two therapists. Listen, I've got a therapist and she told me the other day, she was like, so when are you going to start feeling your feelings? I said, huh? I said, Claire, what do you mean? She goes, when are you going to start getting like emotional and like crying? I was like, do you want me to cry? Because I don't have time to cry. I literally told her that. She's like, I can tell you're an empath and you feel other people's feelings very deeply. Like I can read a room. I can spot at the back of a bar that some some gals upset. I can feel it, but I don't know how to feel mine because I'm like, I don't have time to be upset. We got to keep working. We got shit to do. Like I'll get there. I'll move on. Do you go to therapy regularly now? Can you? Yeah. I mean, it's all over soon. Your schedule? Yeah. I'm not doing in person. You know, my girls in Birmingham, shout out to Claire. Do you not feel like somebody's going to like, I won't do therapy on Zoom. I feel like people are watching me. You don't think they could have a hidden camera and the little vase. You think they got that nice orchid on their desk? Please, they're recording. I trust no one. Here's my thing though too. I share so much of my life. There's nothing that would come out in therapy that somebody would be like, wow, bombshell. Like I probably already said it on my own podcast. All right. We talked about it before he came in, but Heather on tour, right? HeatheronTour.com website. And then the cruise, absolutely not. Yeah, absolutely not cruise. It's Heather at sea.com. And if you've never been on a cruise, I'm telling you this is the perfect entry level to your cruise experience. You'll have the time of your life. And honestly, I just feel so insanely blessed and honored that people will trust me with their vacation experience. And it is just the most fun you'll ever have. I didn't get any flags on my face on it. So I need to put that into the next. Yeah, you gotta let them know. You want a full wrap of the ship with your face. And that is the most out of body experience. You walk on and you're like, who the hell did? I'm one, I didn't ask for it. Okay. So I want everybody to know I'm not that vain, but also too, it is really wild when you see your face on the ship and you're like, what is happening? Like people, I mean, I still get, I'm still in awe that people, that this is my life and people tune in and I'm so grateful for that. But it is crazy. I'm like, do you guys know that you came to see me? Like I live with my mom. Like everybody calm down, you know? Heather, thank you. Hey, thank you. This has been great. Thanks for listening to a Bobby cast production. Hey, this is Robert from the Stuff to Blow Your Mind podcast. Joe and I are both lifelong Star Wars fans. So we're celebrating May the 4th with a brand new week of fun, thought provoking Star Wars related episodes. Join us as we tackle science and culture topics from a galaxy far, far away, such as the biology of Tontons and Wampas on the ice planet, Hott, or the practicality and corporate business sense of the Sith rule of two. Listen to Stuff to Blow Your Mind on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts. This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed human.