The Second Stain - Part Two

Hey, this is Michael and Hannah from Goal Hangers, The Rest is Science. This episode is brought to you by Project Hail Mary, the new spectacular space adventure coming to cinemas. Okay, hypothetically, imagine that there's this mission to save our world. Only you can do the job, as this expert in mathematics and science. How do you think you would do? Terribly, but not because I love teaching and learning, because I'm a scaredy cat. But what about yourself, Hannah? I don't back myself, Michael. I think I'd be good. I just, I just be very slow. I think the point is that no one should rely on Hannah or I to save the world. But in Project Hail Mary, Ryan Gosling stars as science teacher Ryland Grace, who is sent unexpectedly on an impossible mission to space to discover why the sun and stars are dying. He teams up with an unimaginable ally to defy all odds and save the universe from extinction. See Project Hail Mary in cinemas and iMacs from Thursday the 19th of March. You can also catch it early on Saturday the 14th of March, Friday and Sunday the 15th of March. Hi there, this is Alistair and Rory from the Restistus Politics. And as a goal, Hannah Listener, you're probably somebody who likes to be informed, which likely extends your financial future. So here's something worth listening to. IG's flexible stocks and shares ice and lets you withdraw and top up your money within the same tax year without losing your tax free allowance. With zero commission and zero account fees, it's no surprise that IG was also voted best low cost iser at the 2026 boring money awards. That value is why IG's been trusted by British investors for over 50 years and this isa season that's setting the bar again. How by giving away up to £3,000 cash back when you transfer your existing iser over to IG and use the code ISAGOAL. That's ISAGOAL. Search IG.com to find that more. IG trade invest progress. Your capital is at risk, Icerules, tax rules and TNC supply. Cashback offers for new customs only cannot be used in conjunction with other promotions and offer ends. 5th of April 2026 other fees may apply. Audio books, every early access adventures, mailbag episodes, case file episodes, AMAs behind the scenes, micro adventures authored by Watson himself. A discord channel was nearly 2000 chat to little members, merchandise discounts, exclusive events and yes done. Yeah miss the most important bit mate. Oh, patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co. Thanks. Previously on Sherlock and Co. Okay, okay so you looked through the window. Yeah, look through the window and you saw it was him it was the PM. The occupant of number 10 Downing Street it was the prime minister of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Really, really. It was a meeting between myself, the prime minister and the minister of European affairs. Hope. I'm singing Hope. Tabitha. Hope. Yep, you know it. An important note on official letter-headed paper has gone missing from a dispatch box. No footage, no evidence of the event. Just this note. Inconfidence to the UK who will handle this situation to squeakly with the parties involved. No institutions, no declarations, no escalations. It's the only way to prevent. War. She doesn't know you're here. Does she? Hmm? Your wife, the minister for European affairs. Um, no. Tabitha, she doesn't know I'm here. She gets enough grief on my behalf. She couldn't possibly get bad press. Could she list a hope? You own the loudest of the news media contributors. Our podcast presents the truth, Mr. Hope. Yes, but- And the truth is, the minister, your wife, was responsible for the note containing sensitive material, and she lost it. It was stolen. Lost her stolen? It doesn't mean she's any less responsible. I can- listen, listen, listen, listen. I can make a- we could do something really interesting with your operation here, don't you think? I want to make this part clear. The offer of favorable coverage, it goes both ways. Something that could be favorable, things could be unfavorable. Yes. Somebody's on the roof. Sherlock. There's a- sounds from the front door. I need- I need to get out. Sherlock, it would seem my friends, that the game may well be a foot. Sherlock, look out! Two to one be rated by masked men in, well, masks, obviously. Terrifying stuff. It worried you'll be terrified by other things, then check the episode description. I will see you at the end for a closing statement, and yeah, plug in the sharp and patreon and stuff. I'm sure you're looking forward to that. Now go and do your duty for your country. Solve this case. Go! Oh God, it's late. Oh really? It's nearly 1 a.m. Christ. Oh, where's my puppy? Oh, my puppy's come off. Well, one of those essay-ass men nabbed it. Unloyed, Cle. Oh. I can't. Go and see the PM without a puppy. Actually, yes you can. No, I can't. God's great. That- remind me to get one, yeah. Didn't think it'd be this big. Number 10 Downing Street. Yes, it is rather deceptive, isn't it? Yeah. And what about the house, hey? What? No, I was just- I was making a political joke. How's the cheek? Bleeding has stopped. Oh, that's good. Sure, look. You've bled onto the carpet. What? Look. Oh, isn't it? Riding our flat like that? Stupid country. Firstly, do not run this country down in front of me. Secondly, clean the blood up. Right fine, I'll do it. Oh, God, it's not coming out. Errol, bits of my tissue are coming off in it too. God's sake. Why did you have to bleed onto a cream carpet in- Oh, yeah. Number 10 Downing Street. Well, they did break our window, so I think it only fare we even the scales. What are you doing? I'm knocking over this. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, whoops. Apologies. Oh, you are so bloody petty. I'm going to owe them a lot more than £1.46 after this. Mary-Hona says she can't sleep. Well, neither could I if I had Archie snoring next to me. I don't know if you should be on your phone. At number 10, just saying up a bit in my mind away, so... Yeah. Why shouldn't I be on my phone? Respect for the office? Quite the patriot, aren't you? Yeah, I am. Actually, is that all right these days? Yes. Just don't think it warrants me. I'm not going to be able to sleep. I'm going to be able to sleep. Yes. Just don't think it warrants policing my activity. You're scrolling your phone. I'm reading a very short, breaking news article on a murder in Westminster, Watson. What? Those sirens earlier. Body discovered in Westminster. Most lightly while we've been raided. A connection to our case, I suspect. Oh, not much has come to light at this moment, but the details included in each of the outlets reports are rather intriguing. Let me see. It's just a newswire type flash. What is intriguing about that? Exactly, it's just two sentences. We will see. Won't we? Must be why he's busy. The PM. Or asleep. He does look the type for an early night. I should probably keep my voice down. Good idea. Not a bad waiting room, though, can see some prime ministers on the wall. What happened to keeping our voice down? There's, um... Well, this old bloke there. Another one? This fellow with a big wig. You don't have to talk. Right. I should do shoutouts. Oh, please don't. No phones. Remember? Respect for the office. This is Respect. Shoutouts from number 10 Downing Street. Pfff. Ready? No. Happy 60th birthday to Jonathan. Been listening from the beginning. Good on you, Jonathan. Thank you to Grace for the heads up. A big shoutout to Mads Milo and Alyssa Sable in Maine. Happy birthday to Lucas in Leicester. Happy belated birthday to Chip from your partner Levi. Shoutout to Nico in Germany from your pal Charlie. Suzanne from Scotland says, this bitch need a shoutout. Well, you got it, Suzanne. May in Tunisia got a great test result, guys. Well done, May. Hope the Sherlock-themed party went well for Zali and Ash. Hey, Justin and Austin. And to the newlyweds in Canada, Danielle and Nate, congratulations to you. Maddie and Megan want a shoutout for Quinn. There you go. Hannah says, Hampshire is better than Wilkshire. That's incorrect, I'm afraid, Hannah. Clarissa in Singapore would like a shoutout for Ren in Poland. Oh, this show is doing more for the international community than this place, isn't it, mate? I'm not really listening. Okay, great. Pantera and Lynx in Switzerland get a shoutout. Oh, happy belated birthday to Mellie in Washington, DC. See? What? From Downing Street to Washington, DC. Yes. And? Right, yeah, thanks. That's from Amy, by the way, Mellie. Guys, I'll be honest, I am missing out tons of shoutouts, and I'm sorry about that. But there's so many, it's always going to be potluck. And go. Doctor Watson, Mr Holmes. Hello there. And you are... Charles Garot. Right. Not the Prime Minister then. Not quite, no, I'm an undersecretary for the foreign and Commonwealth office. No, you're not. But fine, we'll play along. Excuse me. I'm a car mechanic. And this is my cousin, John. He's a yoga instructor. Right, um... Okay, my official position is as a consultant for security affairs. I'm a professional harmonicist. John here holds the land speed record from roller skates. I work for MI6. There we go. And so should you, Mr Holmes. Thank you, Mr. Garot. You're a spook. Doesn't hurt, to be honest. Does it? Actually, in many cases, it does. Shall we crack on? Uh, Mr Holmes. We're actually heading out to Westminster. I know. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. Ffff. It was more of a skateboard guy. Ffff. Not roller skate. Good still blade though. Wush. The bottom of the Swindon High Street. I'll go get a car. Yep. No poppy. Sick. Name. Please. Emma Lucas. And can you tell us why you've been detained? Emma. I called the police. Why? Because I have murdered my husband. Your husband Edward Lucas. Uh-huh. Can you talk us through exactly what happened? He's always been sneaking around. He's always... There's always been a late night meeting in a trip away. When I would follow him to the two chairman. Third pop. The two chairman. Correct. Yeah. It's near off that. He... He was there with this woman. A woman with a red hair. Mm-hmm. So many times I saw the two of them. So many times I tried to... Just find it in myself to go front to him and I didn't. Emma. How did you kill your husband? I finally broke. I just screamed at him. Earlier today about the woman with the red hair. But I knew everything. And I threw his things out right out the top floor window. He was furious. But I just kept going and going. Codes, bags, shoes. His collectible straight outside. And I realized later I... I forgot his credit stuff. And what happened later? I had the locks changed. It was power-steel. And just... Autopilot took over and I heard someone downstairs. I haven't lived it for so long and I just grabbed... I cramped his cricket button. I saw this shuttle of a man in an hour lounge stealing hour things and I just... Just went all my mind. My everything inside me. I had just... Time of death. Only a few hours from the looks of it. Three or four? Around 9 p.m. That's right. And he was far in office. Edward Lucas. Yeah. He was a senior policy adviser under Tabitha Hope. Minister for European affairs. Young guy flew through the ranks. He was making a real name for himself. It's terrible. Terrible. Did you... Did you raid our flat? Me personally. No, but we've been alerted to the situation. Right. The missing correspondent. After we knew it, but Edward Lucas that had been killed. We went and raided everybody involved. Must be a rat somewhere, right? Right. Right. And we have already caught our killer. Emma Lucas caught him cheating. Chucked him out and came back sometime later in the night. She suspected him to be an intruder. Well, that'll be a desired outcome in court. I'm sure. She hit it. Back of the head with a cricket bat. It's here. Jesus. And once more when he was on the ground. You must be DiMac Ferson. Hmm? In the early write-ups I've been reading of this case. Your name. Mentioned. Yeah, that's right. You're Sherlock Holmes. I've heard much, sir. I have heard much. Yes, well, I've heard extremely little of you. Um, right. Yeah. Fair enough. Until those news wires, of course. Very flattering. He was, uh, yeah, it's been embarrassing. I was first on the scene and I have been handed the murder, of course. The bereft woman. Half conscious and deranged with grief, you mean? Yes. Yeah. Well done, you. Agent Garot. May we have a moment to observe? Certainly. Wait outside, McFerson. Else, it's raining. Take an umbrella. Yep. Okay. Oh. It's here. Watson. Yep, coming. Oh. Making friends. Can we keep it professional? I don't know, can we? Body. There. Yeah, grizzly stuff. Indeed. See this. The carpet. Yep. Mrs. Lucas confronts her husband here. I would say he is facing away from her. He's looking at this painting here on the chimney column of Chesel Beach. Chesel Beach, do you know what I mean? Chesel Beach, do you know what I mean? Hmm. It's wonky. Yes. It is. But why would he look closely at an oil painting in total darkness? Good point. As he does so, unbeknownst to him, she lifts the bat and swings downwards onto the top of his head, even with the pear you can see the depression from the impact. Mm-hmm. Hold bodies stiffened from head, shoulders, knees, and toes, blood spurting up the eyes. And he is a mouth and nose. I didn't mean to do the song. But, uh, yeah. Um, jets of blood out of his nose, mouth, and even eyes, cerebrospinal fluid from the ears here too. Yes, but the blood. The blood is our guide. You see, that's where it showers in a spray onto the carpet below. Small droplets and an even dispersal, like the popping of a water balloon. Yep. He then falls, head landing here, blood, drains into the carpet, she gives him another strike. Yeah, in the same spot on his head. Correct. And that is this staining here. See how it has ejected once again in a spray-like formation out of the skull. Yeah, I'd say that's all correct. She definitely got him when he was down because there's blood spatters on the bottom lining of the couch. Yes, good observation. But I see your low-angled blood spatter, and I raise you. Not go on. Just a few pieces overheated. This. Hmm. More blood. But the pattern. Does not match. And it's in a part of the room that saw no violence. We know she dropped the bat next to him and fled back up to her bedroom and called the police. And she did so from her bed. Yeah, she didn't come back down here. Indeed. So what about second stain? Well, like the one we saw in the back, the one we saw in the back. What about second stain? Well, like you say, it's not from impact. It's a few droplets from a wound. And I'd say, whoever it is, they wiped it as well. Yeah, you can see the motion here when they've tried to get the blood off. Yes, wiped on the carpet. And then, I want to look here, rather like you were downing the street. Okay, well, I didn't smack anyone on the head with a cricket bat at number 10, mate. So I don't know where you're going with this. They attempted to rub that out. See the remnants of tissue in the wall. Oh, my God. We should speak to Scotland Yard. It looks like the crime scene was contaminated. By an officer, you believe. Was it your new friend MacPherson in there? Not quite. Who else would it be? We know the answer to that. Do we? Right. All done. Just getting started Inspector. Two ticks. It can't be him. It can. I assure you. Sherlock, we saw Hilden cut himself on our door. Hours after Lucas was killed, Coroner said. Edward Lucas died it. Did we? Did we what? Did we see him cut himself on our door? Yes. Did we really? Yes. Now, can I please go to bed so I can go to remember it Sunday in like, oh, great, four hours time. We saw Hilden hope. The husband of Tab of the hope. We saw him cut himself on our front door. Sherlock, I can play you my recording if you need it. You're tired and I'm tired. Let's call it for now. Oh, yeah. So it was quite a convincing performance, wasn't it? But tell me what's in it. What sharpened defection in our lovely front door is the culprit? Hmm. Well, it could have been anything. Like what? Exactly. I see no splinters. The varnish has held strong all these years. Every surface is smooth to the touch. The hinges and screws are flush with the frame. No hazardous petrusions of any sort. What are you saying? I'm saying he's lying, John. Lying, right. Why? Exactly, because we've both seen the police video of Emma Lucas bawling her eyes out. The reason being, oh, yeah. That she smashed her husband's head in with a cricket band. I'm not saying he killed it with Lucas. Then what on earth are you doing to me, man? I'm saying he entered that flat after the murder. And he knew that I would observe a wound on his person when he offered us the deal for our silence. He also knew and feared that I would spot the blood in the crime scene of Edward Lucas. So he wanted to distort my time frame. He wanted to offer a reason of his wound, one that I witnessed here, not in Westminster, but in Baker Street. One that had to take place after the murder. Why the hell would he enter that flat? I suspect Paul, Mr. Lucas, was going to get a very similar visit to ourselves. Hilden was one of the very few people who knew about the note. Why? Because his wife, the minister, totally broken by her mistake in losing it, confided in him. Hilden was on a mission. It was about assuring the silence of those who knew about the debacle of Tabitha Hope's secret correspondence. The PM, he wouldn't say a word, but her advisor, Mr. Lucas. He could, couldn't he? After all, he knew what had happened. Hilden said himself. He was protecting his wife from yet more public scrutiny, protecting her the only way he knows how. The only way his profession teaches him. Blackmail. We didn't take his offer. And Edward, he didn't get to even hear it. Because when Mr. Hilden Hope came to the Lucas residence on Gadolfen Street in Westminster, what did he find? The body of Edward? For that. Police. Read those not-so-entreecing news wires. You're a little breaking news. You were reading earlier. Exactly. Here. BBC News. Breaking. Body of a male found in Westminster flat stand out Scotland Yard Detective Kenneth McPherson arrested the suspect shortly before midnight Yeah, rather glowing don't you think? Yes, it poses we spend plenty of time at Scotland Yard Okay, I just got to sleep and you two are talking so loud Right outside my window ah Mariana our chief liaison officer. What do you know of DI Kenneth McPherson of Scotland Yard? Yeah, not much He's okay. Makes a good coffee when I visit yet another glowing reference for this standout detective. Are you suggesting? That McPherson took the offer of favorable coverage that we were given by Hilden exactly and thus Hilden got his way and gained entry to the scene and There he found the dead body of his intended subject of confrontation Right wow Okay, sorry catching up Hilden came here after breaking the law Why would he then come to an detective agency sure look? I thought it a rather ingenious move. Do you not? No, I don't let say we fell for his cut hand trick Let's say we signed his agreement to not discuss the case with anyone by the time we would have heard of Lucas's murder We wouldn't suspect him and even if we did we wouldn't be able to do much about it Well observed I'm going to close my window He cut his hand on exit and wiped it into the carpet Why? Because who would suspect a smudge of blood in a room already bedecked in liters of it? You would well, yes, yes, I would but that pocket of time from entry to Discovery to cutting himself on exit what happened in those seconds those minutes We must find out okay, let's do this but first I'm in a bin an actual bin yes, I said I could just put my hand in and rummage around but no stick your head in what and that's what you have to do Make stick your head into a fucking bin in Westminster at what time is it 3 a.m At 3 a.m. Great lovely. This is my idea of a good night actually. So yeah, no problem mate. No problem. Ah What I think I found it. I found it. I think I bloody found it. You do not touch it with bare hands Yeah, guess what mate? I don't plan on touching anything in here with my bare hands use the gloves Yeah, I am and bring the tissue out on it Here we go and there we have it the blood of Hilden Hope from the crime scene Marvelous work dearest of dear companions. Thanks You smell dreadful. Oh, that's Okay, right not as nice as the previous comment, but okay, there's a shower you could use nearby isn't there? Is there It's just it's it's a crime scene this room is yes. Well, no the whole flat really. I mean I he won't be long We'll be off right you so you keep saying that I have to log this right and you and you think that Lestrade will allow it That what was saying well, this is quite something what is it would appear you do know how to respect a crime scene How interesting so Sorry stand out detective of Scotland yard How pathetic I don't know what you're talking about yes, you do I'm making rather a lot of sense those breaking news articles though Vanishingly little sense being made in those yeah, I don't um I don't I don't have a say in those no Not even when the proprietor of most of those media outlets came to this crime scene himself And offered you a deal of favorable coverage Just to prove the scene for himself Mr Mr. Holmes what did I say Kenneth? Oh? I won't be long just a minute or two no no no no initially initially I said no I made that very clear. Oh how heroic initially. I put him in his place The nice initially Emma Lucas Choctaw husband out and that was the end of their marriage But things change people get their heads smashed to pieces. I knew it was an open and shut case I wouldn't do this to anything anything what anything serious Sherlock we doing all right here. Where is agent? He's out the back having a bag bring him in yes, sir absolutely You're good we will be soon okay You look angry do you need me mr. Garot Sherlock Holmes your back Dei Kenneth rook first and is responsible for compromising this crime scene Oh, I apologize soon Do we have a Yeah, I fear we do then who did it? What who killed Edward Lucas? That's not the issue Sherlock who killed him the woman that said she did really yes That's it then is it woman said she killed her husband and the twist is she killed her husband yes Thrilling isn't it Give me the pictures again pictures on the way here earlier you showed me pictures of Edward Lucas in the pub with the red-haired woman Taken by his wife Here the two chairman his local pub him and his spit on the side would meet there often for what Excuse me for what well Sherlock. I mean they were you know the i'm a person. I hope you're not smirking No sir why go out to a pub? Hmm what are they gonna do? Shagging the toilets? Well, it look at the pictures. I have many look at them properly Sherlock He was in old clothes worn faded tattie He had body odor when we found him no hair product. He didn't even shave Okay, come on when he's down mate. What sort of a fare is this supposed to be exactly with this red-haired woman He'd been back from a work trip. He'd been working all week But not one single receipt found on him a government official opting not to claim back expenses Completely traceless No smart devices in here nor the kitchen nor the hallway nor the doorway nothing with a microphone nothing But three phones found on him two dumb ones smart. Yes, he's a government advisor. Then who's he afraid of mr. Garot the government There What in this idiot's eyes right there? Who me? Yes, you you see it as well Maybe we're not as stupid as I thought what do you see chessel beach chessel beach Indoor sit the painting the painting my first observation and johns and even his which is what it's crooked But just how crooked mr. Garot Let's see shall we Well, bugger me. I knew it Whether you're off to the big match Get in Enjoying a trip to the coast to catch up with friends Or exploring some incredible history with your family With up to a third off most rail travel a rail card can help you save on train journeys all around great Britain Find the one for you at railcard.co.uk What you saying exactly I'm saying get a bloody move on why are we running excuse me sorry Because we don't want to be late late for what the minute silence. That's not until 11 there are possessions all morning for a member in Sunday Tabitha hope and others from his majesty's government are in attendance and What does that have to do exactly with us and our case because your country asks you once more to serve it captain Watson yet well my country also certainly threatening letters over one pound 46 in unpaid self-assessment tax So this way can we just get a cab the road for shot or say or maybe we could get a night sleep first no time What's a vengeance could be forthcoming vengeance for what for the death of Edward Lucas for having an affair He faced that vengeance me there was no affair there was no effect so you keep saying this but he was a spy What Hey hey hey oh Mary on well bloody done did you find it she's like um well she's with all the officials a few lines on front This is as close as I could get Did you call a strike she's not answering my god is it urgent can we tell her afterwards she knows the details of an attack Trigger well you know what it can trigger yes she knows the code from that very note for back channel comms with Washington on this exact matter Yes, I know but now she and the red-haired woman are the only ones that know that Do you understand you think someone wants to kill here now I think Bold steps need to be taken where are you going I'm going to get taboo the hope Play It's me The note is safe Tabitha the note And I'm asking you to remain put until the processions over all right I'm not trying to disrupt the procession Where's your poppy then oh just let me out there to prove to you look Whatever your reservations about this country and those who served it yeah me mate me I served it I put my life on the line for this country and I'm doing it again right bloody now there she is there Tabitha or an earth is going on where's your poppy can someone get me a bloody poppy we're about to have a moment for Edward Lucas a colleague of mine All right, they can have that moment Mrs. Hope I assure you you do not wish to commemorate that man's disservice to his country Excuse me Edward Lucas lost his life last night in tragic circumstances Mrs. Hope he has stood by me and advised me in a very Very challenging governmental role Mrs. Hope and the fact that you can smear his name his memory is quite frankly Disturbed I said to the PM. I said we should not give your shady little operation this mystery to solve Tabitha sure look I think they're doing the minute silence friend Lucas right now, so he was a spy For a hostile foreign power He wasn't having an affair He was meeting a woman in a pub and why would he be doing that? Oh Because he took the note You did not misplace it you did not lose it He took the sensitive material Tabitha No, and he arranged for its collection through his red-haired woman When he returned home he did so to a locked door where his keen along the worked Emma Lucas had lost track of these late night meetings over the years. She caught him in the midst of yet another She threw him out and changed the locks. He broke back into his home that night. Why? What why would he break back into his own house For his things she threw them out for him why risk a break him because well because it's a little beach Chessel Beach What mom do I need to remove these gentlemen from the premises the picture of Chessel Beach above his fireplace was a skew The fireplace had long been sealed off meaning the chimney hollow could house a safe He broke back into his house open that safe took out the note and pocketed it He put the picture back and the last thing he ever did was gaze at the sparkling waters of Chessel Beach So are you safe myself Passports, rubles, bank cards every name different to the last It's true. I saw it too Have we um have we secured the note we were beaten to it oh god no somebody came round They found the note in Edward's pocket oh god no no no no no no What he loves you very much Mrs. Hoh I had always been aware that love can provoke reckless inexplicable behavior And Hilden has proven that infatically First moral stain was the espionage of Edward Lucas the second The desperate and sinister actions of your husband Mr. Homes I'm sorry about what I said a moment ago. We don't have time apologies. I miss judge you and I took a face We don't have time Edward Lucas was working with another he would meet her in the pub the woman with the red hair Was she working your team as well? No, no, no No red-headed women no that's not that we don't hire people from all backgrounds Tabitha do you ever see a red-haired woman in your presence following you? Do you have a neighbor maybe or listen Tabitha if they believe that Edward Lucas was eliminated by force They will strike back his wife did it They won't think that understanding they won't see coincidence only conspiracy The social the social media girl what social media girl she's always said she was from an agency A social media agency she wanted our um access didn't she to what Chris? Remember the girl the girl that wanted the high angle for the images to put online yes I've taught the HMRC building the overlooks the sanitary Excuse me Do you see her you think she's on the roof yes of what this building this one HMRC I Oh, oh holy crap. I think I do see someone up there. Okay. Come on The closed while they open on a Sunday she got access she probably knocked it down all right around this way Don't don't that's an artist Yeah, excuse me you look Sorry, how you hit me I'm conducting this orchestra Hey, you put me in the eye with that stick god's sake. It's a baton. We need to evacuate this area right now No, no, no, no, no, the second people move she'll shoot anyone she will shoot anyone Bloody country where are the agents this is over show they can't even defend their own when it matters stop running the country down Everybody has to run now. Okay for their own safety the authorities aren't gonna help call that call Coro call the PM just fucking call somebody now what the earth is going on here sir We are working for his majesty's government. We have reason to believe that a woman that up there on that roof What are you talking about what woman where her up there red hair? You see by the flag post good Everything but there's she's some sort of activist. I think she is an enemy an enemy of our states sir I will put in a call to the local council sir and they will be able to look into providing the required support No, no, no, no, no, no, someone needs to do something now. We can let the authorities handle this okay with sensitivity rather We will get nothing of the sort are you doing I'm climbing what you're you're gonna climb a drain. I began dawn. Yes. I am So can you get down from there? You don't need to do this. I need to marry on it for king and country for England And so George and the other ones too Scotland now shit whales northern Ireland Cornwall all the weird little islands John you could die for goodness. Yeah, well I know it's not particularly trendy to love this country, but guess what I'm not trendy Ah and sometimes the world needs an untrendy stubborn Englishman to stand up to a Caesar to To an Napoleon to a Hitler when everyone else stood aside You know to look them in the eye and say make what a new fuck off take your little Tash It's dafthatt and you toga and fuck off because this is England Oh the speech is sounding more patriotic than I meant it to but I think that's the music getting the better of me Oh god, I feel sick getting a bit delirious, but this is England right we could do anything defeat the Vikings Invent the modern world we uh what else we we beat Latvia in a world cup qualify the other day I think I think it was Latvia We built an empire god damn it. Yeah, we didn't put everything back where we found it That's putting it lightly. I didn't say we were perfect. We're not perfect because we're a people damn it. We're sturdy stiff upper lip soldiering on could be worse Not too bad people And if you want perfection then go worship your AI overlords in a few decades time What are you talking to just focus? To the nation A nation of Churchill and Atley Of McCartney and Lenin of Darwin and Newton Shakespeare and Dickens Turing and Lovelace Fleming Crick Whittle A Faraday of Darwin of Sherlock Holmes of 221 B Baker Street The Darwin twice Ah, Pollock sorry no no no I'm not sorry. There's no sense sorry Wellington sorry what did they do when they were outmatched Yeah, what did they spit fire pilots and then the light brigade do they said fuck that bloke over there And they charge him when no one else would why because they're British and a little bit the range to that house Mostly the British thing because we stand up and fight And now have proudly followed in that tradition that legacy of Alfred of Godwin son of of Henry the Something don't know what number of Elizabeth Drake and Rally Nightingale and Lawrence of some Passiontail of gold and sword of Guy Gibson a captain Harry J. Watson and I say Ah, I am not Putting up with this shit Oh Give it up move away move away or I'll shoot shoot who exactly. I'm not who you want am I Tell me who you are and find out exactly not worth the bullet not worth the arrest Yes, I put the gun down and maybe you'll stand a chance. Oh, please just mind your own business stop don't Don't walk backwards. I can handle myself. It's wet. It's fucking high up and you're not paying attention I'm thinking shutting you up might be worth the bullet. Yeah, right right right fine But you are getting a little closer to the edge. Can you please just come towards me? Oh stop with the health and safety Okay, oh look. It's drizzly. It's wet. Uh, Misty as well today. Stop it. Stop what I'm trying to help I can't stand this British bullshit anymore. I'm being considerate Considerate who said for you to chase me, huh? My friend figure it out You and Edward Lucas it's over Impossible yet, you know here we are on a rooftop above the Senatorf in the pissing rain in winter, so you killed Edward No, he's waived it. You believe that government crap do you? I believe my friend The one that was right about you and Edward now give yourself up For what? Your spy Edward was a spy you stole sensitive documents Prove it the proof is the rifle in your hands The proof is you shivering on this rooftop. I'm British secret service. Oh, right show me. I did it I don't have to you know. I don't believe you right, but that's okay because We'll let you prove that to the authorities. We will give you the chance if you just step towards me Your country is finished. Yeah, heard that before. Can you please be careful? It is very high and soon all of you will be dead or in chains Because of your cowardice to fight against the might of the room. Just it's really slip Hurry Oh god You Look Sherlock look newspaper. Yes Very nice. No, no, they got a picture of her. Oh goodness She looks well enough to face a trial to me. Yes indeed A legs broken And an arm and a lot of ribs Plus the face is Guys guys guys guys look at this What is it a letter from his majesty the shitting king that's what it says the shitting king this This is a letter from the king. Oh this I'm gonna be knighted. I'm gonna be bloody knighted for Services declining. They probably heard the speech. I bet you heard my speech. That's why that's why they're probably playing it out of a loud speaker at Windsor Castle It was more of a deranged patriotic rant, but fine. Uh, I went viral, mate. So I don't know if 400 likes is viral Yeah, well one of those likes was Carol Watson and if I've made her happy then I'm happy of course you mean her happy You talked about how great the british empire was Carol loves her country in a very complicated way. Oh, yeah What did she dress up as at Halloween again? Um A labor counselor and why because there's nothing scarier Her words not mine right still love you Carol opening it opening my knight hood here we go Oh Feel that paper was the gsm on that That's posh just read the letter Dear Sherlock and co team Couldn't help but admire your efforts in protecting our great nation To face peril and draw strength from your own zeal and love of country inspires others even myself I hereby declare oh here we go guys. I hereby declare on behalf of the revenue and customs office that you're Outstanding fee of £1.46 has been forgiven in its entirety Please fill out the form provided to confirm you wish to have the outstanding fee cancelled And send in the attached envelope if you do not respond within 14 days the outstanding balance will remain Please recycle this paper Um John you okay? Oh Hey, they sent my UTR number. Oh, that's so sweet I can file my taxes now too. Yeah If um Ah John I forgot to say the PM got in touch and requested that we Don't publish this adventure Here listen The foundations of these state issues I've made that very clear and that can be done with your corporation in keeping this quiet Oh, hold on, ask us. God thanks guys Yeah, in a second Rachel Shall I let him know we can sit on this particular adventure and not release If you do not respond within 14 days the outstanding balance will remain John Shall I let him know Yeah, yeah, let him know he can Is the country finished No, but the adventure of the second stain is my friends. I hope you enjoyed this one I didn't I'll be honest. I got rope burns on my hands really sore shoulder bad back as well But that's the price I pay and the price you pay is six pound a month for patreon access boom Join it. It's amazing and it is only getting better stay tuned farewell You