If The Fungus Fits

Hey guys, welcome back to Brooke and Connor Make a Podcast. We're so stoked to have you here. You guys know we love to keep it light around here. This is a fun place, a safe place, but I want to start out this episode by saying how deeply disturbed Brooke and I are by what happened over the weekend in Minneapolis. No government should be killing its own people. And now more than ever, it's so important to watch over each other, watch over our neighbors. And because of this, rather than fill this ad spot with a read from a paying sponsor, we're donating this spot to small businesses and mutual aid efforts in Minneapolis that benefit immigrants, protesters, and activists. And today we're spotlighting the Immigrant Rapid Response Fund, which is organized by the Women's Foundation of Minnesota and the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota. The Women's Foundation of Minnesota invests in innovative community-based, community-led solutions to ensure safety, opportunity, and pathways to economic security for women, girls, gender-expansive people, and families across Minnesota. Right now, they're urgently looking for donations for their Immigrant Rapid Response Fund to provide fast, flexible resources to trusted organizations supporting immigrant communities facing crisis. Please join us in donating by visiting their website in the description below. The Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota is a nonprofit organization that provides free immigration legal representation to low-income immigrants and refugees in Minnesota and North Dakota. They also work to educate the community about immigration matters and advocate for public policies which respect the universal human rights of immigrants. Every dollar donated goes to supporting their mission of providing the highest quality legal and educational services to help low-income immigrants. You can donate by visiting their website, www.ilcm.org, slash donate. This link can also be found in the description of this episode below. You can also donate through other mediums which you can find by clicking on Ways to Give on their website. If you want to help, please visit the websites in our description. Hey, Brooke. Hey, Connor. How are you? Oh, hanging in there. How are you? I would say the same. What a week. Yeah. I feel like every now and then this comment is going to be when I always say it's weirdly colder in the shade than it is in the sun. Yeah. But how is it still January? No offense. Oh, okay. Yeah. No, that's true as well. What were you thinking? I was going to attach that. Just like heaviness. Yeah. Heaviness in the air, everything that's going on. And just want to share quickly. You know Dutch who I love on TikTok. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dutch is the one that said, you don't have to, what did he say? Actually, I'm really bad at quoting. If you can't do it with a smile, do it with a frown. Yeah. If you can't do it with a smile, do it with a frown. Yeah. If you can't do it with a smile, do it with a frown. Yeah. If you can't do it with a smile, do it with a frown. Yeah. And then he made this video about ice. And I think like all of us are probably feeling like very like helpless. And obviously completely forget what the guy said. I love him so much. And this video genuinely helped me. But he said something along the lines of like, you do not have to do everything. You just have to do something. But much better said than that. So go watch it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But so go watch Dutch's video. Cause it, I think he, he has anxiety and everything like that. And I think he just knows exactly how to speak to a mind that is feeling very overwhelmed. And so whatever he said, I'll have to go watch it again. Everything with me is in one ear out one other. But it's, it helps. You don't have to do everything. Just do something. So. Yeah. I mean. Hopefully we're doing a little something and talking about it today and you know, be sure to look at all those resources and donate if you can to everything, but you know, just do something if you can. Yeah. Um, yeah. Well said. I didn't say anything, but thank you. Well repeated. Appreciate it. Barely repeated it, but thank you. Yeah. So obviously like, it's going to be like a weird episode, but we just will transition as best we can and to, and to something that hopefully people enjoy and it's maybe a nice break. Yes. Let's give it a go. I'm on my PJs. I will say. I know. And I'm in conference room B as well. You're in a hotel. I'm in a hotel. A lot going, a lot of moving parts happening right now. I do think that this is the first time we've ever, I think since like we did like trial runs of recording a podcast that we're both like on our laptops on zoom. Well, speak for yourself. I'm on my iMac. Oh, you have a desktop. I have a desktop. My lady. My lady in conference room B. Wow. I think we did this like maybe when you moved to New York. Right. Or maybe not. Who knows. I can't remember. Oh no, maybe when you started tour. I don't know. Um, yeah, as you might say, those are not ideal, but we'll make the best of it. We always say such positive attitudes, always two rays of light. Such pot your, I don't know which cat of yours behind you is going nuts butts to the Robbie. He's having a heyday on your new rug. I think about. Oh, yeah. I can barely just kind of like the tips of his. They're not. I just got home. Yeah. They're always a little weird to me when I just come home after leaving. Yeah. So, well, you have new bangs to tail. He just got, he's found a sale. Oh, good for him. He's in a box. He's in a box now. He'll be fine. Um, can you hear him? No. Is he making noise? Yes. Quite a bit. Quite a bit. Good for him. It's good for him. He found an empty box and he filled it up with voice. Yes. To the brim. Yeah. So I was traveling and as you all know, we were prepared for some disruptions. And, you know, man, oh man, did we get some and hey, I was prepared. I thought you handled it really well. I will say that is, you know, we're texting on the side instead of do you. That's sweet. The plan is I was trying to tell you. That's very, honestly, very considerate of you. I'm sure you could tell. I was trying to communicate, but I was going down. It was like. I was going down. It was like, like we, we, we, we can sense that a lot. Like, you know how like geese can sense earthquakes. Like I could sit. We could, we were both sitting there like gobble, gobble. Like it's about to go down. Well, I guess they don't gobble. Geese don't gobble. Um, they make a lot of noise on SNL. Thank you for meeting my, my, I appreciate that. I, I was, I was going down, but all things considered, I did handle it better than I expected. Yeah. You really, you should kiss your brain. Um, I'm not, I'm actually, I think I'm handling it worse than you because I read your arrival flight as 540 Pacific time. And so I wasn't, you know, it's eight. It's, I don't know what time it is. It's 7pm here. Oh. Do you, do you, does this feel like a good time or no? Yeah. It feels awesome. I just like wasn't. So like when you landed, I was like, pardon. I was like, I can fully cancel it. We're going to be like, no, I also Connor, I want to be honest. And Izzy did catch me in this. I did lie. Oh, that I mean, I did, I did get in a bit earlier than I said I was going to. It worked out. And I did not think I was going to be able to come right off the plane into the podcast. And so I took a nap. And so I, but I've scheduled that nap into, into my lie. And I want to apologize. That's perfectly fine. This will be, this will be awesome. I'm glad that you got your nap in. Thank you. And I knew the truth was going to come out, but anyway, I got in the 6am and then I got here at like 1231 went down for an hour. I met you. Well, what's funny is I'm in Miami right now. I was working on a fun project with one of my favorite people on the planet. I'm so jealous of the connection you have with one of your favorite people on the planet. It's really, it's really something special. They're one of my favorite people on the planet too. Yeah. This is kind of like a fun, fun thing that we're doing right now. But I'm in Miami. So like I, there's worse places to be in a hotel room. Recording the podcast. Oh, absolutely. And tomorrow I wake up right in early and I go to. So when you, when everyone's hearing this video, I'm either going to be in North Carolina or no, I'll actually be in North Carolina and there either will or will have not been two shows that have happened because word on the street is that everyone is snowed in. But for some somehow the venue not snowed in and still taking guests. Are you, what airline are you flying? Because if it's American, I'm sure it'll get canceled. I usually kind of only fly Delta these days. Good. And I do like I always am like, y'all don't need to be doing that when influencers or celebrities like shame airlines on their stories because it's like, yeah, like we all airlines suck. Like we get it. Like I will say American, like you need a lot of help. You need like a significant amount of help. Yesterday I was at the airport for 10 hours. They kept delaying my flight in 20 minute increments because there was no pilot and no crew. And it's like, you know, you're not getting a pilot and a crew. Let me go. But they don't want to cancel the flight because then they have to pay for everyone's accommodations. So they just kept delaying in 20 minute increments for 10 hours hoping that we would all cancel, which I did after eight. But then I still lingered a little bit and I was there for a few more, but they waited for everyone to cancel. The majority of people to cancel on their own before they canceled it themselves. I just like so much help. If my if my A team pilot doesn't show up, like I don't want them to call in the B team. Like I don't want them to call up the bench pilots, you know, it's like, why wasn't this pilot already at work? Why wasn't she already flying a plane? I think just because there was so much going on, there were so many delays. And they were like, we can't locate them. I was like, what do you mean you can't locate them? I get there being delays and like this pilot being on this flight. But like, why shouldn't that be in your system? No, it's like a fun to everyone that's on this flight. Whoever finds the pilot first, it's like sardines. Finding the Afi Komen. What? That's on Passover. You hide the Afi Komen, which is the fancy word for Matzah. And then all the kids have to go find the Afi Komen. You're hiding Matzah like around your home? Yes. Is it loose? No, you hide it. Like some like, I feel like one of the best places my dad hit it when I was young was behind a painting. So he put dough, like soft dough behind a painter? No, it's like a cracker. Matzah? Yeah. But Matzah ball soup is soft dough. Yeah. Matzah balls are different than Matzah. They're both made with Matzah meal. You know Matzah is that flat like cracker. No, that's as new as to me. I only knew it in ball form. No, you know Matzah. The thing that people eat on Passover. I don't. It's a big square. It looks like SpongeBob. I don't know what you're talking about. Hold on. I love that you're giving me a benefit of the doubt, but I think that you should give me punishment of the doubt here. I don't know what it is. I would be really shocked. I've never seen that man. I'm sorry to this man. I've never seen Matzah in my life. That's crazy. No. Oh, well that's what people eat on Passover because I think it's when the Jews were running or escaping rather, Egypt, they were being chased and they didn't have time to let their bread rise. So they just had to take it and run with it as a flat entity. This isn't the Bible too. Yeah. I remember this, but I didn't know that that's what they were munching on. Yeah. So you do that for eight days over Passover and then you hide it. This is the Seder holiday. You ever been to a Seder? You're going to hate this. No, I haven't been to one in years. The only thing I know Seder from is the office when they rebranded. Saber, thank you. Savers? Saber. With a B. Yeah. Saborite, yeah. I wasn't like the biggest fan. Of the office? No, just like when it, unfortunately, what's his name? Gabe. What's his real name? Elijah Wood? Wow, I'm really messing up today. No, I think it's Zach Lewis. It's Zach. Is it? No, it's Gabe Lewis. Zach Woods. Zach Woods, thank you. See, I got Elijah and I got Wood. He has piercing eyes. He is one of the funniest people. He's like one of my best followers on Instagram. He follows you? No, no, no. I follow him. He's one of my favorite people. I follow on Instagram. Oh, I love that. He is so funny. Like genuinely that part on the office like didn't do him any credit. Like he is so funny. He needs his own show. Okay. I love that. I don't, I've seen him on a few like late night shows and he's, he is very funny. He's really funny and he's like constantly doing a bit, which you know I love. Yeah. Anyone that's constant and Meg Salter. He was about to say he's very big. Yeah. Zach Woods. I'm trying to think of other people that like have their just ongoing. Nathan Fielder. I don't know if Nathan Fielder is the type of person where I'm like, I don't know if I even want to. He's a spectrum. Sometimes he's so on like Nathan and then sometimes you see cracks of like, maybe this is who you are. Even someone like, I'm just going to use me as an example because I don't know if you feel the same way, but like, he's someone that like I think like when he breaks character, I'm like, thank God, like you were scaring me. Nate. Nate. I mean, you know, I love the guy. I know. Did I get a little bit of sun today? Yeah, it looks like. And I am a nice. I sat outside and stared into the sun for like 10 minutes. Oh, that sounds so nice. I'm very pale. Yeah. Should we recap? Do you want to talk a little bit about our Disney on Ice video? Yes. Oh my gosh. So we also, we had a YouTube video come out last week. This week that is month. I can't remember what day it is anymore. This week. We had a video come out on Monday. We did Disney on Ice. If you haven't watched it, it's up on our YouTube. That was so amazing. That genuinely I left like, I left the venue feeling like I needed to go to a neurologist because I was so unable to follow the dancing instructions that I actually. Started like really thinking there was something wrong with my brain to body connection. I thought you were you were I mean, I guess that was that was a time when I'm really, really kind of just thinking about myself. The video did me like justice. I was like, how did I ever follow like choreography when I was younger? Like I could not do it. And it didn't even have anything to do with the ice. That was, I was horrible at that separately. But I was really bad on land. Let's just like following the steps of our routine, which concerned me deeply. Well, those were all professional dancers. There was where I missed them too. They were fabulous. The young man in the videos were the fun like he's so fun. He has a lot. He's had a lasting impression in the back of my brain. I love him and everyone was commenting like how is Brooke not talking about heated rivalry. I was, but it was Disney so I couldn't really talk about it. Yeah. So but just know I was thinking about it the whole time. Was that during heated rivalry that? It was at the very beginning. There had only been two episodes out or something that I remember feeling like this is so Shane and Ilya, but like I didn't even know the guys yet. I can't believe they carried the Olympic torch this week. They are the sun and the moon. That's a good way to put it. Yeah. I mean our planet, we are dependent on them. Right now specifically. Yeah. I can't believe they just are in like how like to be a young to be a young man and have just gotten your breakout role and then like two weeks after the finale airs, you're in Milan carrying an Olympic torch. I hope he's journaling. They were, but I just like can't stress this enough. They were both prepared to go back to being waiters. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Like to to have had a dream and then to be fulfilled and then some in like one month. It's like, I don't think I think I would probably fall off the deep end. Sometimes I think about like what if my present day self was handed my phone, but it's my phone from a year from now. So my Instagram is stuff that I've done in the past year. And so like I like what if I like get my phone and I have like 50 million followers and I'm like what the hell happened and like I just have to live life like knowing I'm going to get to that amount of followers. But like what the hell happened? You know, well, I guess I could look at the pictures and see what happened. But just like, you know what I'm is that making any sense? This is just a thought that I have. Yeah. But I'm thinking imagine those boys a year ago, you give them their present day phones and it's like here's y'all's phones. You have millions of followers and like you are Golden Globes Olympic torch. Like they would be like, who's Instagram says baby, it's yours. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's a fun way to put. I mean, you could do that from like from last year. You could be like, oh my God, look at all these things. Sure. That's another way to think about it like giving your year ago self your present day phone. Yes. Thanks. A great story like Monsters Inc. stays with you forever. And Disney Plus is where you'll find your next great story from the return of the award winning hit series, Rivals. Welcome to the naughtiest show on television to the unmissable crime drama, High Potential. Gotta dead body, gotta go. A lifetime of great stories awaits this spring on Disney Plus, 18 plus subscription required. T's and C's apply. Look at when, sorry to change the subject. I know that we just went, we've been having such fabulous conversations. But this is how I figure out when summer, when summer is close or when summer is upon us. When I turn like this and the light catches my forehead in such a way you can see a perfect penis and balls shape. Oh yeah. Going directly up on my forehead. I've never seen anyone else with this kind of marking. I do know that one. Yeah, that's how I know summer's here. Right now, the AC is broken in my hotel room. Is it hot there? Oh God, it's so hot. Summer's, it's January. I know, summer's approaching in my room on floor five. Understood. I have a penis and balls on my head. Wait, vaccinated rivalry really quick? Yeah, take it back. I don't know if I've spoken about them in the main. I know I did in bonus and on the special episode of Obsessed, but Empty Netters, the Stray Guy, Aki Podcast, something bad happened. I think I was on a flight or something and you and Izzy had sent the update and I didn't, I was really tuned into them anyways, but I was saying, I was sensing that something had gone awry. Basically, everyone was just like, myself included very much so, was like obsessed with them because they were just like two like bro, hockey bros who just like loved heated rivalry and Dan's texts leaked one of the guys. How did he? Somebody leaked his text. Who? He was texting someone. These are random. No. Podcasters like, who is the leaked text? Well, he was texting a friend. He was texting somebody he thought was his friend and apparently this guy also has a podcast where they were talking about heated rivalry and Dan was like, dude, like this show is like embarrassing, like pandering to Blue Hair Twitter. Oh, wow. It was tough. And then he came out and was like, yes, these texts are real, but like here's the context. Like I had only watched one episode of the show. Like, I didn't like the show yet really. Like you guys know that I was open about that. And then like we had a change of heart. We ended up falling in love with the show, blah, blah, blah, which I totally get. The Blue Hair Twitter and other stuff was tough. But like also it's really hard. I'm not defending anything even though like I, I'm not. But it is hard when you like think you're having a private conversation with the friend. Like I know like with my, if my texts were leaked, it wouldn't look good. Like I definitely have been like the woke left. Like, yeah, it's different. The Blue Hair Twitter seems a little bit more severe to me, but, and also as like a straight guy, but, and he did it. Like he made a statement like contextualizing the text, but he never like apologized for that language, which people are upset about. And I get that. And that's tough. And it's all just tough because like everyone loved them so much and it was such a good thing, you know, and now it's tainted. But people feel differently about some people are like, I forgive them completely. Like context was key there. And some people are like, I can't get over Blue Hair Twitter. And then you can't get over, then you move forward. Yeah, I don't know. I'm still, I don't know what to do with myself. They really meant a lot to me. It's really upsetting. I was, I didn't know the guys. I know. I'm just, I'm just explaining what happened. I know it's hard for me to be like, I knew them. I knew that I thought I knew, at least I thought I knew them. I don't know if I still do. I don't know. Let me know how you all feel in the comments. Oh, would you rather loved in laws or never loved at all? I think we've talked about this. Never loved at all. Really? 100%. What if you died right after? Like if I lost and then died the next day, I only suffered for a day of losing. How long did I love? I don't know. We'll see. So like, say you loved for, say you loved for 10 years. And then it's like, you've lost. 20 minutes goes by. That is, that is a doorknob. Then that's fine. And it's also fine if I've loved like my whole life and then I get old and someone dies. Like that's fine. But I don't want to, I would, if I'm like married to the love of my life for two years and then he dies, I would have rather never had him. I know. We were talking about a podcast though that you, that we knew that for like two weeks. Well, you took it in a different direction. No, there's loved in laws, loved a podcast, and then lost the podcast. It was more, it was more than a podcast. It was a, it was a symbol of an evolving culture. That's actually true. Well said. And having like a sensitivity to straight men that, you know, I thought didn't exist. And now I'm not, I'm back to not knowing if it does. Thanks. Um, I do, I do believe that they came to really love the show. I think I do believe, yeah, I do believe that. I do. I'm open to, I'm open to seeing where, where everything is. I would say they're not dead to me by any means. It's just top. Yeah. Watch this space. Watch the space, but that was a blow to my, to my guts. Were you listening like on a weekly basis? How much were you listening? No, I mean, I'm just looking at the clips. I just watched all their heated rivalry episodes and their clips, but I don't watch like their podcasts when it's not about heated rivalry. Okay. But I do follow them. Yeah. So I just feel like they're my family. Were. I don't know. I don't know. Watch this space. We'll see how Thanksgiving is. I don't know. Um, Also, speaking of leaked texts, have you been seeing Blake Lively's texts with different celebrities leaking? Does it matter? That's not the point. That's, we're still doing that whole Blake Lively thing. How can we make sure our texts don't leak? I don't understand. How did Taylor Swift's text get leaked? Like, How can we make sure our texts don't leak? I don't understand. How did Taylor Swift's text get leaked? Like, How can we ensure that that just doesn't happen? Well, can I just be like conspiracy theorist for like the next 10 minutes? Yeah. Maybe 40. Um, Taylor Swift's texts aren't protected. There's anything in them in anything at all. I almost said in America in general is how is anything like that? I want to believe Taylor Swift anything that happens to or around Taylor Swift isn't is done with intention and strategically. Wait, I don't know if it was her. Did anything Taylor? No, her texts. Yeah, she called it. No, I know Blake's to Taylor got leaked. Oh, Taylor saying anything get leaked. Yeah, Taylor said Justin Baldoni's a bitch. Oh, did she? Yeah. I was like, I didn't know that I can't picture Taylor Swift calling a, calling a dude a bitch. I'm like, that's cool. But, um, Do you have to give consent for that? For your texts to be leaked? No, they were subpoenaed. My God. Well said. I don't know what subpoena means. I don't either. I mean, I, How do you spell that? C U B P E O N A. No, no, no, that's not even. I think it's subpoena. Subway. Here, I see the, okay. Subpoena. Wait, I want to hear how it's spelled because I want to see if I was close. S U B P. The way I was exactly right, right? It's such as an S. You said C. Well, I meant S. Then I think I was wrong because I don't think this is what it is. I can't, I don't know. I honestly don't know. A subpoena or witness summons is a written issue by a government agency, most often a court to compel testimony. And can we talk to, talk to me for a second? Google, like, how does Google not know who's Googling this? Um, I mean, it's just like a written thing to attend court. I think it's like a summons. So I don't think that you could do a subpoena for text, but it could be used as like, evident. Like, I think that you might, might have to submit it for evidence if you're making a claim about somebody. So it doesn't count as like libel or defamation. Like if you're saying, if you're saying someone has defamated my name and I'm losing work because of this, then you have to prove. Hmm. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. This would work with the text. Regardless, I think anything involving Taylor Swift's name would have to be approved by Tree. Right. I don't think that, yeah, I think that there had to be her consent there. I do. But that being said, could be wrong. Can, can, can, can, can, uh, you tell me, tell me the rest of what you think about this before I move forward or something else. I just like, I literally, I don't care. Like I'm so over this. It's just, I'm just being selfish thinking about my texts. Oh. Like I just want to ensure that they don't get leaked. Cause I like, I mean, I have, I'm lucky that I'm not like a bad person. So like I, there's nothing like horrible, but it's like definitely like a, like I've been mean about people that I, I, like, really mean that I, I think anyone's hacking into your phone to see like who you've been talking shit about. I think they might. No, there's 40, wait 400. What was the lawsuit? $400 million at stake for this, for shit talking to each other and then put like sexual, like this is like serious, serious, serious stuff where like that stuff needed to be released. I think for this thing. Okay. But then you also have empty netters. Who's are, who are also, Well, that was like a friend. So if, So I just said, like that is my worst nightmare. Yeah. I guess I've, I think the, yeah, that would be crazy if someone, that's just like an end of a friendship type situation. If someone were to like screenshot your close friends story or something, which like, I know people do. That happens. That's happened to friends before. And it's like, there is stuff that I would say to friend, of course there is stuff that I would say to friends that I would never say into a microphone. I'm sure that, and that is the case with everyone. And it just, it just sucks when that happens, which is why I do feel like it, like it just, it just, It just, it just blows chunks. Yeah. Chunks. Cue name for a dog. Now tree. R E tree. Is that her name? Tree. Tree is like tree pain or something. Tree paint. Like is that, was that like a joke because of T pain? Like when T pain came out, she like, I want to be like tree pain. So like adjacent. I don't think so. Cause she probably, I bet Taylor Swift calls her T pain. I don't think so. I bet. There's one thing I know about Taylor. She loves a nickname, but I was walking by a car the other day and I saw one, like this is so relevant to us. Two, gorgeous name for a little girl. So let me find it. I walked by license plate the other day. It said smut me. I said that is a gorgeous name for a little girl who loves to, well, I don't want to say a little girl who loves to read. But it's a gorgeous name for a mama might. Yeah. Yeah. That's a gorgeous name for a mama bear that loves to read porn. Wow. Muttney. Are you sure it wasn't a smut NY? Like smutney york? No, cause I was in California. Smutney. Smutney. I think that that, that's like a horny woman who's just like obsessed with smut. Yeah, I like that. Or man. Sorry. Absolutely. But smutney, I should have met like several men recently named Courtney. No, you haven't. I promise Courtney's a gorgeous name for a man that studies law. I have never met a male Courtney. You need to, you need to, you need to go out to place. When I used to go on hinge, I would like judge like harshly based on people's names. And that would be one that like, I don't care like how compatible we might be. I don't think I'd swipe on it. I wouldn't swipe right on Courtney, regardless of our compatibility. But that's the difference between meeting someone online and in person. Like if I met someone named Courtney in person and fell in love with the guy, then like, that's fine. I don't think I would give him a chance on, on hinge. Really? Yeah. Okay. So that's another reason why online dating is bad. Like you are just a lot harsher. You can see that. Yeah. Cause I'm not giving Courtney's a chance on there. Well, you also need to see if someone like how they use their hands when they talk. Oh, it's all about in person energy, pheromones, like the way they move. I mean, I know it works for some people, but I'm, I'm, I'm in my anti online. I need to start wearing my hair, hair wands, my pheromones a little bit more. Cause my life is really different when I was wearing those pheromones on a daily basis. Your spray? My spray. What did you notice was different? People were always so nice to me. That's so interesting. Not that anyone's like mean to me that, that often, but like people, I think that maybe I was coming off as like more of an, more of an entity to people. They wanted to let me cut it in line. Yeah. And they gave me the nice silverware. I need to get new silverware from my house. I was in LA last week cause I hosted a award show. Did you see that? I did. Tell us about it. It was my first time doing it. I actually didn't see anything about the award show. Did you post anything? Yeah. I didn't know you didn't. Oh my, no I didn't cause I just got the photos back over the weekend. Okay. Yeah. So I didn't see. I post an amazing photo of myself. But pardon me, my nose is back, but oh, so I hosted this award show. It was my first time hosting an award show. It was for assistance. It was like for charity for like assistance in the industry and entertainment industry. And I worked with like a writer, like how they do for shows who works with Nikki Glaser. It was like the coolest thing. It was for assistance versus agents. If anyone's curious to check it out. It was so much fun. And everyone said they did a really good job. Good job. Thanks. It was a fun change of pace where it was like, let me like memorize something else that mostly someone else had written. And went up there and presented awards. Now something bad happened. And in the middle of the show, there was a segment that I had missed in the script. So there was about eight minutes, nine minutes that like they had thrown up a PowerPoint. And it was like an award segment. And it was my first time seeing this segment. And I'm looking back and I had to just improv and make up what I assume was happening on. It was like, it was like a practical jokers when they're like, you have to go in there and do a presentation on this PowerPoint. You've never seen it before and you have to like sell it to this group of your peers. You know what I'm talking about? And I was up there and I was like, oh my gosh. And the awards were like kind of facetious. Like they did some serious awards for people that like impactful voices in your community. And you know, like best assistant of the year award voted by like their bosses. This one was like best overpriced salad in LA. Like best and luckily Brooke, I recognize a picture of one of the salads as Jones on third. Chinese chicken salad. Chinese chicken salad. I'm going to get that for dinner. Oh, you should. I wish I was there with you so I could have it with you. But I was just. Those of you that don't know Jones Chinese chicken salad, it is like chicken fingers almost and these crunchy wontons that just crunch and melt in your mouth. The dressing, it's just you've never had anything like it. Sorry, continue. Smack your ass like a drum. That's what it does. But I recognize it and then it ended up winning. So you understand this goes like any more. Those two. And I was like, thank God. Can I ask what other salads were nominated? Brooke, I didn't recognize him. There's one called badass salads that I hadn't, I didn't know. I know there's one from Erwin, but I didn't get it. I didn't know. The kale one. Yeah, I think so. The famous one. Anyways, that was that. And then like the rest were like, you know, worst texts to receive from your boss. And it's like, call me dot dot. And like, is today my wife's birthday question mark, like get me a reservation at Max and Helen's. And one was just question mark. And I was like, what do you, but the thing is, I didn't know how many awards were up. So I kept being like, and do you guys think there's another award after this? What do we think? And I'm like looking at the guy like running the show and like, I don't know. Like I, and I'm like, oh, there is. Look at that. And then I had to guess again, but it was like eight minutes of this improv thing. And then I got off and I was completely soaked. It feels very like Joey Tribbiani coated. It was, I mean, it was hilarious. I was getting texts. I was on duty on a server that I was getting texts like this is so as Maggie was there. Xavier was there. Like my team was there. They were like, they have so much fun. So it worked out. It worked out really well. I would, I want to do more stuff like that. I think that was a good. Next Golden Globes. Yeah. Are you ready for an open world driving adventure in breathtaking Japan? Race and discover in Forza Horizon 6 with over 550 real world cars. Solo all with friends. Explore a world of stunning contrasts, diverse biomes and Japanese culture. Get early access and play Forza Horizon 6 now on Xbox and PC with the premium edition. What I was going to say is that on the way there, I learned that that day Microsoft had gone down. So Outlook, which is like what everybody uses for their email had fully gone down and no one, they didn't, they didn't get any up. No one got any updates. They just like assumed. But like everyone in entertainment, like everyone that uses Outlook as like their server, it went out. And so I went out there and I was like, what's up with this industry? Like I didn't get a single email today and that like got him on my side. Now it's on the serious side. And this is the conspiracy there is carried over from Taylor Swift's text being released. Microsoft went down. I don't know if it was in the whole United States or just California or what Microsoft went down. Right. Yeah. Like a week ago, Verizon went out in New York City, like down to Florida. Oh, Verizon needs to join hands with American and go seek extreme support and the facility. So that's ever happened. As far as I know, like mass communications going out like, hey, what's going on? You know, you're being a conspiracy theorist. I mean, like not necessarily conspiracy theorist. I'm just kind of like, no, that get your shit together. No, that is not it is frightening. Either you get to be the superpower like this Verizon or this Microsoft or step aside and let someone else, you know, like break it back. Give sprint a chance. Give sprint. It's sprint. Like give continental airlines. Get them back in the game. They never delayed, you know. Yeah. I literally like when Verizon is down, like, and I have to go somewhere, it's like, I have to print out map quest. Give me mint mobile. Get in a little game. I don't even want to say that about R.E. Ryan Reynolds because he just bugs me. But I'm like, I might explore it as a man. Oh, good. Well, then this worked out pretty well. Yeah. Yeah. Well, one time when I left my phone in an Uber, I did have to bring my laptop to find this person's home. And then when I got there, I was like, how do I contact them? Like I don't have why I found my laptop. Yeah. Do you remember this? Was I? Yeah. I really should have taken someone with me. Yeah. I was really scared. I can't really remember that. I went to this like really, I just had never been to this area of California before and it was like, was not a good idea to go with no communication services available to me. It's scary. It's scary. I think people did it for so long. You catch me on a horse. I hope the horse knows where we're going. I don't. I just missed my exit via hoof. Yeah. I don't. I mean, it is like the fact that it was, we were alive in the time of MapQuest. I can't, I can't follow written directions. Let me get that out of the way. I would never get anywhere. I remember when I have to be looking at the road too. I would, I would crash and everyone if I'm looking down at the MapQuest. When we got it, when my family got a TomTom. What's that? It was like a Garmin. Oh, the Garmin. Yeah. That was like the coolest thing that had happened to our family in a long time. Yeah. No, that, those were amazing. And the kind that's suctioned onto the, what's it called? Yeah. It sucked right onto the dash. Yeah. We don't, we don't have luxuries like that anymore. Things that suck right onto our dash. I learned CPR on my Garmin, TomTom. Really? It taught you CPR. I didn't know they did, they did that. They were touch screen and they taught you CPR. Wow. We don't, we don't have a device in the world. I guess my iPhone I could look at. Phone, like beyond. I won't. No. I won't do that. I won't do that or fresher for CPR. It is kind of crazy that we don't all know how to do CPR. I brought this up the other day. Do you know how to do the Heimlich? No. And that Heimlich is pretty easy. That's an easy one to learn. You can do that tonight if you wanted to. Tom Blythe recently needed the Heimlich. I know. Wouldn't you be bummed if Tom Blythe was choking and you didn't know the Heimlich? You could go right up in that. I know. Thankfully his waiter knew it. He was on a date with his girlfriend. Pete Davidson had a baby. Yeah. Are you just blatantly watching TV? I can't find the remote. So yeah, there's TV playing. It's on mute, of course, but like all I'm getting is the highlights from entertainment tonight. Obviously, Mario Lopez is up on the screen. Oh, and now Sidney Sweeney. What did Sidney, what did Sidney, why is it saying could Sidney face legal charges? She has a like lingerie line and she threw bras and shit on the Hollywood sign to promote it. But like, obviously you like can't go to the Hollywood sign. It's trespassing. So. Where is her team? I don't know. I don't know if she has one. She must have one. Or she might have one that's like has a really different strategy than most. What are you doing? Like she might have one that's like negative press. Let's just do all negative press. Um, I didn't mean to do that while we were talking about Sidney Sweeney. That was genuinely like. Pop your boobs. Yeah, like that was something that I was going to do anyways. And we just, we were just talking about Sidney Sweeney. Did you see the house maid? No, I still haven't seen it. I haven't. I really haven't. I haven't done in done that much since I saw you last. Like I really wish that I had something to, like I saw you last week. Yeah. And then I just got back to New York and I kind of just was, it was the snowstorm, which like. Everyone keeps saying snowstorm. I think like Nashville got it from what I'm seeing like Nashville looks like apocalyptic. I hope everyone's okay. Oh, Philly was insane. Was it? Oh yeah. Oh my gosh. And I'm glad because like obviously like four of my flights were canceled and I would have been so pissed if they were just canceled like for flurries, but no, like they were, they needed to be canceled. So in New York, it was snowing, but like people are like skiing and sledding. Like it was like a, like, I don't, I guess I don't know what constant I'm new to whether that's like that, like cold, cold weather. And New York's also being plowed nonstop and they're equipped. Nashville, I don't even, they probably don't even have any sort of like salt. No, but they're, they're trees and like their power lines were just exploding. Oh really? They're not equipped. But like trees? I don't know. Trees shouldn't explode. I didn't like that. Oh, I saw that on Reese Witherspoon story. Is that what you're referencing? I mean, yeah, there's just like a couple of things trees shouldn't do. I think one is explode. I didn't see it re-explode. They're explode, the trees are exploding. What do you mean exploding? I don't know how to say it like any, any, any other way they're explode, they're exploding. Can you describe? Yeah, they're basically blowing up in like the most literal way. So have you seen, think of like a bomb? Okay. Imagine if you bombed it or you had a butt put a bomb out of tree, like that's what they're exploding in that way. That doesn't make any sense. It's like final destination. Five's like if, if I was walking by a tree and it exploded, you truly would have to say it was his time. Did you see that bug? Did it explode? No, it just, it drove right by me just then. That is, a fly's mode of transformation is its wings. Yeah. What kind of fly was it? What kind of fly is it? I don't know, it was very little. What kind of fly? I don't know. It was very, it was not like the one, it was not like that fan. Do you have a fruit fly in your office? In comic or B? Yeah. I guess I, yeah. I mean it was, I don't know what it was. Listen, I don't, I didn't look close at it. Just something flew by my face. Maybe look into it. Yeah. You, maybe at one point it was a book worm and now it's a, it's a fly. I didn't have an end to that one. Oh, something happened. Something happened to me. Okay. I guess it's kind of gross. It's like definitely very medical. Okay. I keep getting UTIs for whatever reason and I took, I was, my friend was like, you need to take, I don't even, I don't remember what it's called, but it's just like something you take when you feel like you might be getting UTI. I like kind of like a supplement and I took it. I took Canberra. No, no, no. It's, it was something I got on GoPuff. It was like. The concept of GoPuffing UTI medication. The Manos or Manos or whatever, but like in a, like not that, like just like in a pill. Okay. Yeah. But like GoPuff that woke up the next morning. Forgot I had taken that. My pee was feeling so hurting and I pee. I looked down at the toilet. I can't, I can't even like, like, like brown, like almost like blood, but like orange. So immediately fainted because I thought I was like, I, and I had to get on a plane. I was like, I'm literally like bleeding out like my kidneys are bleeding out. I'm dying. It turns out the pill makes your pee a different color. Yeah. They should put that on the box. I mean, I went to the ER when I was doing beet juice every day because it's supposed to like whiten the whites of your eyes and put it on the box. First day, I ate blood. I go to the ER. They go, there's, we're not showing any signs. Like we'll do a pee test. They go, this is beet juice. So you can go home. I go, oh my God, I had so much today. They go, okay. That is because you're peeing it out. Like what is it? That it was literally like, I like put it on the box. I'm begging you to put it on the box. He might hurt orange red brown. Put it on the box. Anyway, I think they're, I think that antibiotics at the SAG after office and that's very, that felt very Los Angeles. Is there an urgent care at the SAG after office? It was like this boutique, like med spa. Like I had to lie, I went on like, you know, good Rx. Yeah. I like last minute was like, please, like can someone give me antibiotics? And they, they set you up with the cheapest place for your insurance. And it was just this like office built. It was an office within the SAG after office. And I was like, this is not normal. Thank you though. But I got antibiotics. That's really fabulous. Isn't it? Yeah. Kind of like getting, getting your UTI treated where like the actors killed. Like that's so cool. Like that is just like very like, not a lot of people can say that that's where they get their UTI. No, like Rachel's Senate is about to call your phone while you're on the podcast. That's a very, I love LA. I know. Yeah, that would happen to Rachel's Senate. Yeah, I know. 100%. So I guess that's really all I wanted to say about my brown P. I will, I want to jump in too. Cause I have a doctor's appointment coming up next week and it is a blood rush. Well, I want to jump in too. Cause I have a doctor's appointment coming up next week and it is a blood, it's a blood test. It's a blood work test. It's my time. Like it's like covered by insurance cause it's not, it's the time of the, it's, I like, it's due. You know, my blood is due. And so if anything's wrong with me, I'm just warning everybody. Like, like, if they, if finally they're like, Oh, we were noticing something. I'm not going to, we're going to take some time cause I'm going to need to like get well. I'm serious. Like I'm not going to be able to like record a podcast if I'm like, I know my time is up. I'm going to have to go hiking. You're not, your time is not up. If they get back to me and they said like, you have an overactive XYZ or you have your low in this or this, I'm doing eat, pray, love. What if you're like low in iron? I'm doing eat, I'm going to India. Instead of taking an iron supplement. And then I'm going to go to, I'm going to go to the other places that she went to. London or something. I'm going to go east. Or whatever. If it's closer west, I'll go west, but I'm going to go there and I'm going to go on. I'm probably going to kayak. I don't know. Like I'm going to do, I'm going to need to find myself and maybe, and this is going to be that time. Like it's going to be, it's going to be like manic. I'm out of here. I'm going off the grid except I'm going to bring my phone and I'm going to be on Instagram a lot posting. I'm going completely off the grid. I will be on my phone. I'm going to be posting. I'm going off the grid. I will be vlogging. I will be posting stories and then if it requires grid, like it will be on grid and I'm going to be responding to this. Indicated. I'll be off the grid. I will be syndicating. The reals. Putting, I'm going to be commenting. Probably I'm going to be, if, if your story is great, I will respond to your story too, but I will not be on the grid. So don't even try unless you, unless you need to reach out and I'll be there. But make it, I got it. I don't know. You got to put yourself first. Put yourself first. Phone second. Yourself third. Brooke, if you need to check how your bang's look, you can look right into my forehead. It's really not that bad. I need Botox. If you need to see anything that's going to happen in your future, you can ask the Magic 8 Bowl that's located right above my eyes or my eyebrows. I'm going to get Botox and I want lip filler to fill in the wrinkles in my lips. I went to the front desk of my, my gate for my flight and they go, it's delayed an hour. I go, oh my gosh, nice. I'll go get a beer and I'll go to the Heineken zero zero and they go beer. Yeah. Nice. And I go, what was it? What was that? They go, you're not 21. That's, I'm so jealous. I've stopped getting carted. I go, how old do you think I am? They go 19, maybe 20. That's awesome. Do you know how awesome that is? As, as it's weird because like if someone was like your uncle, your chopped and your uncle, I'd be like, no, I'm not. But when someone's like, you're not old enough to have a beer. I'm like, I am, I am old. I'm a big boy. Like it's like so weird. Like it's like, you know, it's like grass is always green. Yeah. That being said, I, I've seen some pictures of myself recently. I have a, I have a new thing that I'm, that's making me self-conscious. What? I don't want to tell anyone because every time I do, people love to chime in. I think I, in certain angles, I have this jowl that like looks kind of like what it, like a hound would have and like a, like a cartoon hound. This part. So your cheeks. No, it's a, it's like, it almost feels like somebody's trying to bust through my cheeks. Like I'm, I'm, I think those are like smile lines. No, when it's not, when I, I'm not kidding. Like it's when I'm off duty and I'm kind of looking at one way or the other. And then I get these like round part of my cheeks are like an, like an addition to my, like a pregnant cheek. Like my cheek is pregnant. I've never seen that. I'll send you, I'll send you a picture. Do you want to see it now? No, I'll send you a picture. I want to start getting worked on. I'm serious. Wait, you said lips and. Lip. I need my forehead. I definitely at least want a lip flip so that my lip doesn't stop getting really tiny. My top lip doesn't start. I want my top lip to stop disappearing when I smile, but also maybe I need filler because Channing and Kat have it and they look very great and natural. And I want the wrinkles in my lips to close. Also, when I smile, I get this weird like thing in the corner of my nose. Like kind of like a ball and I don't want that. So I'm going to, I don't know what they can do for that. Whether it's surgery or a needle. I'm good with either. Aging is a blessing as always. I think that goes without saying. It's not the aging that I'm worried about. It's I've always had wrinkly lips. And I've always had wrinkles on my forehead, but I'm going to let the rest of my face age naturally. Do you walk around barefoot in hotel rooms? Yeah. I don't bring slippers with me. And I'm not usually staying at places fancy enough to give me slippers. I wear socks basically, but I do go barefoot the other day. Oh, I forgot about socks. Everyone was like, you're walking around barefoot in your hotel room and I'm like, I weirdly like, yeah, but I didn't think about it too much. And now I'm the really gross stat that I ever did that. Oh, I never have thought twice about that. I feel like it's definitely like, you know, you go into a carpeted hotel room. That's just like, you may be alone, but you are sharing a room with athletes foot right now. I was in Philly over the weekend and I stayed at a hotel for the first night. I was I was doing, I was shooting something there. So, um, yeah, I got a hotel for the first night and the walls were so paper thin that the people next to me were. Making love. Yeah. And I could like hear like individual kisses. Does that make sense? Yeah. And so for that reason, I had to say it, my brothers, you didn't just ask them to switch your room. I'm assuming all the walls were that thin because I also could hear everyone in the hallway all night. Yeah, but not everyone's banging. Yeah, but everyone's going to be in the hallway. At some point, like no one should be in the hallway. Oh, I mean, and it was Philly. Yeah, there's probably people in the hallway a lot. No, those people love hallways. One thing about Philly, they love hallways. Yeah. Philly is the city of hallways. Oh my gosh, what was it going to say? Hallways. No. Hotels. One thing, this podcast, we're taught, we're covering hallways. We're covering the ground. Oh, I was, I was thinking about Athletes Foot and I love how they call it that even though like if someone threw a Frisbee at me, it would hit my neck. What is Athletes Foot? It's like fungus. What does Frisbee have to do with anything? Well, like, because I don't think I'm very athletic. But like I could get Athletes Foot pretty easily because I'm always barefoot in hotel rooms, you know, it's like. Yeah. But I'm flattered that like, no, it's toe fungus, but yeah, I guess if you want to call it Athletes Foot, if the fungus fits. Oh, do you want to hear what my fifth grade PE teacher wrote about me on my report card? Sure. Sounds like you don't. No, I just love that transition. It was just me. But it was you know. Oh, okay. Oh, I'm not going to be able to find it. Thank you though. No worries. I'm here. Um. Oh, I think Rob is still in that box. Guess what? What? Never mind. I can't find that thing. This is a horrible episode. No offense. Anyone involved? No, none taken. We were not like, we did the best we could with what we had. I know. And I'm having a full blown. Like I'm looking at my phone. Like it's as soon as we get off this, I mean, I have to like go. Brainstorm. Yeah, we, um, we're going to have a very brief bonus today. Just, just mama. Because Papa has to work. Papa has to actually hit the books a little bit tonight at 8pm. I'm going to go down to the lobby in Miami and I'm going to look around at people and I'm going to get some inspiration. It's nice to be amongst the people of Miami. Oh, absolutely it is. Some of the worst drivers known to man live and drive in this place. Is it because they're older? I don't know what it is. It is truly remarkable the way people drive in Miami. It is like there are, like there are rules, sure, but there, I don't know who's in like, and there's actually like, like people are driving on the other side of the road and speeding and then they're slamming on their brakes. And then it's just like mind blowing and the traffic is just like insane, like worse than outlet. It's like, it's the craziest thing. I didn't go outside today. How sad is that? Oh, what else did you do? Worked all day. Wow. We were shooting all day. Wow. We went out this morning for breakfast. I mean, one of my closest confidants, my left hand man, my, my, my lucky rabbit. And when you go out with your left hand man, does he get recognized like every five seconds? No. What? I don't know. Today it didn't happen. Interesting. I think it's just like very clear that we were, we need like a little private moment. Maybe people did, but they just had obviously we were just like being so healthy. We were, we're just two absolute health freaks. What did you, what did you eat? Oh, I got a wrap and then I didn't eat the chips that came with it because we don't need those. We don't need the chips that come with it. What did your left hand get? The wrap. You didn't eat the chips. Okay. You didn't eat the chips? We may have wanted, we may have totally even wanted to eat the chips. We just don't, because it's just not our style. Did y'all just, guys, not eating the chips? No. One of us just followed the others. We're leaving. Did you want your chip? Yeah. That was good. God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. God, yeah. Oh my God. That is killing me. The left hand doesn't eat the chips. Of course he doesn't. They were pita. Oh no. Did you get the same wrap as left hand? Nope. I ordered first. I kind of got a little upset. Would you have a pita? I'm just kidding. I had, we went to Pura Vita. Yeah. If you're familiar. They just had some new, you know it, right? Yeah. I got the toasted chicken wrap and I got the toasted chicken wrap. And they got the Kale Caesar. Wow. No biggie. No biggie. What will we see what you and left hand film? I don't know. Soon. It's like, it's June right now? January 27th. Oh. No. I'm saying. Oh no. It's January 27th. Oh, I can send it to you. I'll send it to you when we finish. Oh yeah. I'm excited to see it. I'm excited for everyone else to see it. It's really fun, you guys. Well, you guys, thank you so much for listening. I hope everyone stays safe. And I love you and we love you. And there's going to be a little brief bonus this week. I'm going to hop off and work. I think Bert just said that. Sorry. Okay. I'll show you all of my journal ecosystem up close and personal because that's all I have to offer. Who's that? Did you hear that? Yeah. Someone's banging on my damn door. Okay. Well, you get to it. I don't really want to answer that. Okay. But thank you guys for listening. Love you. Love everyone. Sending love and light and love you, Brooke. Love you Izzy. I love you. Love you. Love you. Bye. And we'll see you soon. Bye. Bye.