Create Your Soulmate to Attract Energy and Relationships

Hello and welcome to this episode of The Inner Estate with your host, Bridgette Stewart. I am delighted to introduce you to our guest today, Frank Polancic. Hey, thanks for having me, Bridgette. You are an author, a published author, and you are also a full-time for 33 years real estate agent in Chicago. And I'm thrilled to dive in with you on several of the things that you're passionate about, and they overlap each other to a degree. So you are the author of a book, Why Wait, Find Your Soulmate. And that book was heavily influenced by decades of being in people's homes and selling real estate. So I'm going to pass this to you, Frank. Can you share with everyone what you're passionate about and how there was that crossover between real estate and finding your soulmate? You know, that's a great question. So in 1993, I started selling real estate in Chicago. And over the years, you know, I'd seen thousands of properties and I've taken lots of personal growth and development courses, countless personal growth and development courses. And I saw patterns in people's space. Like I saw patterns in their bedroom, in their their living room, their dining room, in their home that at one point I started to think. And when I got introduced to Feng Shui, where I'm like, oh, I can add this in my book on how to find your soulmate. It's called Why Wait, Create Your Soulmate Now. You can find it on Amazon. And it is essentially a very comprehensive book that allowed me to take a lot of my experience from real estate. Because let's face it, there's a lot of Feng Shui practitioners out there, but they haven't seen 25,000 homes. I've seen a lot of homes. And it's kind of by default that I got to see them versus if I was only to see a three or four a week. You know, it just really intensified my my research and helping people like find the blocks in their space that is potentially blocking their soulmate from coming to them. And, you know, I use it all the time in real estate. Sometimes I'll be trying to sell a property and 60 days down the road, someone will say, where are we stuck here? And I'll suggest that they move something or I'll suggest that they clean an area of their life, a room. And then the next thing you know, we get multiple offers. One time I was selling a condo in pretty much downtown Chicago. And I suggested early to this woman, single woman, actually, to to she had a gray toilet seat on a white toilet. And it basically showed that the building was dated. And I said, you know, you should really change that toilet seat. And she resisted and resisted and resisted. And then, like, we got multiple offers. And she said to me, wow, this feng shui really works. I moved my toilet seat two days ago. Wow. and replaced it with a white toilet seat it was very subtle but and she was resisting it and you know she later got married that following year I helped them find a place I helped them buy a place as well I did something else where we were stuck it was another couple of months I was selling another condo in Wrigleyville in Chicago a lot of people know the Cubs can associate with that. And they, I told them right off the bat, I said, you know, the place you're moving, I said, your bed really underserves you guys. It was a really nice couple. I'm like, your bed, you should have a king size bed. It was like a full size bed, no headboard. And when you have a headboard in feng shui or don't have a headboard in feng shui, it represents support in your life, literally, and in, you know, with the people you're around. Right. And so they were frustrated, you know, a couple months went by, no results. And then finally, we got, again, this was multiple offers as well. And they told me that they ordered their bed. It's funny. Their new bed for their place. And I was like, when I told them, I said, don't be afraid. Just buy the one you love and it will fit in the space where you're going. And so this is how I kind of stumbled onto. It was through real estate, messing around with feng shui, seeing how it helped people. I had something recently where a guy, a client of mine, he had a girlfriend, but he was resisting buying a refrigerator that the client had asked for after the inspection and it was sold as is. and I'm like, he was resisting, resisting, resisting. I go, you know, you really just got to bite the bullet and do this and just move on with your life. You could tinker around with this transaction. You could wait for another buyer. You could tell him no, et cetera. And he ended up doing it, closed on the place, bought a new place, got engaged, and then he has a new baby boy, which is going a year and a half old. So I joke with people, my next book is going to be Why Wait, Procreate Your Soulmate. Oh, there you go. I like that. So anyway, that's kind of where my real estate and my soulmate stuff converge because in my, you know, merged is because in the book, I ended up adding a whole chapter on feng shui on what you can do. I trained with a feng shui master on what you can do to help support your environment and your life for bringing in a partner. Do you feel it's more important for someone to make the decision? So going back to the gray toilet seat, what do you think created a bigger impact when she released the resistance to changing it or actually changing it? Was it the white toilet seat or was it that she let go of the resistance? I would say she let go of the resistance and then took action. Like, if she didn't take action, I think it goes hand in hand. I think releasing the resistance and then taking action allows something to come to you very quickly. Right. You know? Yes. The action is critical. I would agree with you on that. And the other thing is, even just selling your place and getting rid of a one-bedroom or a studio, a studio really barely supports one person, right? Right. And a one bedroom supports two people, but it doesn't support like family, you know, growth. So I find, and it's no coincidence, I find when I sell single people, you know, I help them sell their one bedroom, their studio, or even a two bedroom to move into something bigger. They always end up with, you know, finding their partner, getting married, having kids, like it's all connected. It's all interrelated. I'm just thankful that I have the awareness to kind of see what's going on here. You know, like a lot of realtors may not even realize the impact they're making on people's lives when they sell. On people's lives. You know, and it's fun to see the impact because it just happens to be my forte, my niche. So I want to talk a little bit about writing the book. So what inspired you? Can you recall, was it a specific time or moment where you had clarity and you're like, I'm writing a book? Was it something that developed over time? Tell us a little bit about deciding to write the book. Well, my wife at the time said, you know, you really like to say and share. Because we go to a lot of events together. We go to a lot of personal growth and development events. That was the thing that really made me attracted to her is how much interest she had in personal growth and development and consciousness, which I'll touch on here shortly. But she said, you know, you should write a book or you should write a workshop on helping people find their soulmate. And I was like, OK. So I was driving up and down Lakeshore Drive. I had at the time a recorder and I would just record my thoughts. And then I had an outline within a week or so. I had an outline. and then I started inviting people over to my apartment at the time and I saw results. And because people want to get unstuck, they just don't know where they're stuck. So once I help people see where they're stuck in the early form of the workshop, you know, I did it somewhere between six months and a year. And then I saw enough results to see people getting unstuck. and you know and even getting unstuck is breaking up with somebody that you're going out with knowing they're not the one right right you know and that's that somebody that had done my workshop or read my book at one point early on said I broke up with him and I'm like oh you're kidding me and I'm thinking man what did I do here I created a monster people breaking up but she goes then it gave me the space to find whatever his name was. So, you know, so that's what I basically early on said. I did the workshop. I had the outline. And then I was at a coffee shop one time and I was, I don't know, I know I made a declaration. I was doing a landmark education course. And I said, I'm going to write a book and make a million dollars in 90 days. So that was my motivation. That was my tool. And so I wrote the book in 90 days. I didn't make a million dollars. But I wrote the book, you know, start to finish with a cover in 90 days. And then in about 120 days, it was dropped off at my house. So, you know, I just played big and was committed. It was like a, I would say it was sort of like divine intervention because I was spending that full 90 days. My son, my wife was pregnant at the time and I had time in November, December and January to do that. And, you know, I just, I knew it was a little bit kind of out of season for me in real estate. So if I'm going to do this with a kid on the way, I better do it now. And so that was all the motivation I needed. And it was pretty divine. My wife edited it. You know, I had many people edited it, but in the, in the long run, in the end, my wife's a very good writer. And then I became a good writer as a result of her editing it so i i've all even to this day i still wouldn't change anything in the book other than a couple of you know maybe a couple of words or a couple of lines and then i would just add uh i would add one page at the end just on what i've learned and what i've seen since you know i wrote the book so yeah so speaking right now to people that want to wait. They want to create their soulmate. Who would benefit from reading your book? I would say somebody that has, you know, that number one, is ready to find somebody. Number two, has had experience with people they don't want. Like, you know, the contrast of finding what you don want this is typical Abraham Hicks law of attraction stuff is when you look at what you don want you have to ask yourself what you do want So if you dated people that cheat on you well what do you want I want someone that faithful So you you know have to it people that are that are fed up with their current situation. Don't know, don't really know how to do it. Cause let's face it, we don't have courses in education in school on how to find your soulmate. We barely have relationship. We barely have relationships, stuff in school. Right. I never had any relationship and stuff, stuff in school. It's all, it's really only after school and your traditional education that you find, that you find gems like this in personal growth and development. That's someone. And yeah, I would say also I wrote it for people that are between the ages of 27 and 35, right? I knew that for me, I wanted to eventually be married like right around 30. And that's about when I got married. And it was when I was 28 is when I started removing the blocks that were blocking me to finding my soulmate. You know, I had to get closure with my mother's death. My mom died when I was 14. So I always feared that someone was going to leave me eventually if I fell in love with somebody. And that was once I got that out of the way, that was a, you know, springboard into finding my wife, you know. So that's what I would say is, you know, people who are and the other thing is I had to have a focus on who to write it for 27 to 35 because those are also the primary years when people want to create a family uh they want to have kids etc but I also found out that later on there were people 50s 60s 70s reading my book so it didn't really matter I just focused uh to you know just just focused on the target for me and and that you know pretty much helped. And then everything started to flow. Any age. There was not age specific. You had the trauma when you were 14 and that loss of your mother may have given you some guidance on what was blocking you. What if there's someone listening to you and I and at the moment they can't see what's blocking them? You and I both know they probably know deep down, right? But they're not able to see it right now. Are there exercises in the book that would allow the reader to uncover what is blocking them? Without question. It's really the first half is about unblocking, you know, getting the blocks out of the way that are keeping someone from coming to you. And the second, the second part is building the infrastructure around it to support you finding your soulmate. And it's not It's the people you hang around with. It's the mindset. It's the environment you live in. So you have exercises that will help them figure out what their particular block is. Precisely. Precisely. Because we can find blocks in everybody else. You know, he's such a jerk behind this. He's such a jerk. Or he treats women like this. Or she treats guys like that. But, you know, we can we all know we can see and identify things in other people. It is the where do how do we identify our blind spots? So usually there's only about three or four blind spots, I think, that are keeping you from attracting someone. And usually I tell people this, too, is your divorce happens before you even meet this person, because it could have been mine was my mother. Right. I knew I could be divorced. I could marry someone that would pass away. Someone would leave me, et cetera. I don't know. They could cheat on me and divorce, you know, leave me and whatever. And I'm, and I hear I am heartbroken. That happened when I was 14 because I didn't have closure with it. So I would look early on in life, some of your earliest memories of relationships or disappointments and see what they are and, and, and, and, and go right in on them. Like start working on those. Mine was working on my mom's death. You know, people used to go, oh, you lost your mom. People were enabling me to be a to be. How can I put it that I poor Frank? He lost his mom. Right. Yeah. Almost putting a victim blanket on you. Yes. Yes. So, you know, that would be something, too, is look at where you're being the victim. And there's a really good book called TED, The Empowerment Dynamic, which, you know, that helps you get out of victim. The drama triangle. That's kind of a side note. but yeah i would say just you know look at your deep-seated hurts and and work on them i mean even me i've gone to therapy the book will help you point it out but you may not be able to get deep enough just by realizing it and so you can do therapy i use kinesiology muscle testing therapy called, what do you call it, the neural emotional technique, which I find amazing. And you can use it for anything, not just your partner. You know, I had a brother who was nearly killed in an accident, and I was so stressed out that, you know, kind of role reversal here, I became the older brother at 17 when my brother was 19. You know, he was partially, he was in bad shape. So I had to, you know, I had to complete that as well, you know, and get closure with that to be free so I could be myself, my highest self, my highest and best self. And it's an ongoing thing. You're never finished. It's this lifetime or the next lifetime or 50 lifetimes. You're going to be working on yourself for a long time. For a long time. If you're going to be alive. Yeah. And you and I have a common mentor, and he would probably pipe in with something like, if you're not going to keep refining yourself and growing and learning and failing, you may as well get in the coffin and wait. Yeah, right. So it's like, yeah, if you're alive, you have the opportunity. Every day above ground, you have the opportunity to continue to discover and refine yourself and impact those around you. All right. So I have a highly practical side. If somebody is creating their soulmate now, where do you actually meet them? We're in a country with a loneliness epidemic. And I hate this phrase, but post-COVID, people aren't going places or doing it. Like, where do you actually even find them? Well, I would say the obvious places. Like, I met my wife at Landmark Education. Like, I was in a personal growth element in leadership. So was she. And once I cleared away what was blocking me, I could see her like, oh, my God. Because I'd asked her out three or four times and she blew me off. And when I asked her out because I was attracted to her. Right. But then when I asked her out after one of the courses, I was only interested in getting to know her. So my context shifted. And then I went out with her to get to know her versus looking at her as a sexual object or, you know, like that way. and I've been with her ever since. And she also was working on stuff around men. I heard her say at one of the microphones that she had a breakthrough around men. And I was like, hmm, like she created the space for me to show up because if she's blocking me from coming to her four times, I think she did blow me off four times. And that's on her, right? So we both were on a thing and look, it doesn't stop. We still create our lives as we're going now, too. I mean, she has stuff that's in the way. I have stuff in the way. My son does all that. So for women, your job is to let the bees land. So you do the work. Let the bees land. I'm not saying to not go and ask somebody on a date if you're a woman. But look, there's guys knocking on your door. You don't even have to go further than the supermarket. and you're going to find somebody. Funny story. I was going to be the spokesperson for a huge internet dating company back in 2008 or 2009. I can't even remember what it was. But I'm talking to him, and he said, oh, I'm getting married in Cabo or somewhere in Mexico. And I go, where'd you meet her? And he goes, a bar. So it's like you can meet anybody, anywhere, anytime. There's no shortage. There's no scarcity of bumping into somebody. They could be walking their dog. You could have a traffic accident and bump into them and be like, hey, you want to have coffee? You know, like, I don't know. But that's just an excuse because they're stuck. When you get, you know, it's just a, it's a smokescreen and you're doing it to yourself. You're, you're disguising it. And there's, you can meet people anywhere, anywhere. And that's the other cool thing is I've heard people that meet with online dating and they live a mile from each other or they come from the same hometown or they know the same or somebody that lived at college and they were roommates. It's you're you're it's like you have to grow and expand and get those things out of the way that keep you from growing and expanding so you can rise. Right. You're going to attract the same type of person. Whether you're using online dating or doing it through the traditional way or speed dating or just, you know, for women, let the bees show up. They're out there. And, you know, for the guys, keep doing what you're doing and remove the blocks. Right. If you're being too aggressive or you're being, if you're talking about yourself all the time on a date, well, that's going to turn people off because you're self-centered, right? But how about a dialogue in a thing versus everybody downloading and sharing, you know, spewing out what you're talking about on your first date, both parties? You know, like I would say just, you know, you can meet anybody, anytime, baseball game, just be open to it. But do the work. Do the inner work. That's what creates your soulmate to come to you. Yeah, because if you could go to all the places, if I'm hearing you correctly, you could go to all the places. you could put yourself in scenarios where you have the opportunity to meet people. If you haven't removed the blocks that are blocking you from creating your soulmate, it won't matter. You'll go to all those places and nothing will come of it. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. I had somebody at a workshop stood up and said, so you're saying that if I want to get closure, if I, she's like, every guy has cheated on me. And I said, well, you want to get closure with that? And she said, well, you're saying that you want me to get closure with every guy that cheated on me? And I said, no. I said, did one of your parents cheat on you, on your other, on your parent, on each other? And she's like, yeah, my dad cheated on my mom and blah, blah, blah. And I allowed it or she allowed it and blah, blah, blah. I said well that the guy you got to get complete with you know So you got to have those types of conversations And then you will once you get closure with that and maybe she had to do some therapy or something around it too or coaching around it Yeah, coaching, you know. Then she, I don't know what happened to her, but she was in a way better place to attract her soulmate knowing that she could attract somebody that wasn't going to cheat on. Sounds very powerful. Yeah. So, Frank, there are people that currently, they are taking a stance of, I'm happier being single. How does that play into this? And I believe it's more widespread than, I know there's always a percentage of, you know, people that prefer to be single, but it seems to be a current societal trend where, you know, men say they're opting out of relationships and women are like, I prefer being single. Is that something that, what are your thoughts on that? Well, I mean, you could say one, the resignation. And, you know, they're just resigned that anything can happen just because they weren't able to do it. So I would say that that revolves around your commitment to actually be with somebody, you know. And, you know, in my book, I have where you have to sign a declaration that you're going to find your soulmate within a certain time frame and let let it shake out you know so i would say i would say number one resignation and you know a lot of people whether it's coaching or reading a book or maybe they find that they really don't want their soulmate which is fine i mean there's how many different look not everybody has to have their soulmate not everybody wants it no and here's the thing there's many different types of relationships there's the one night stand there's the companionship there is the short-term relationship the long-term relationship the marriage the soulmate marriage you know there's you can have whatever you want it's not like because you didn't find your soul soulmate you're not worthy of being with anybody at all just choose the type of relationship you want to be in you know i've worked with people in coaching where they decided after you know six weeks they're like you know i'm not really committed to finding my soulmate. You know, I had someone who was in her mid-50s that after she did that, she decided to move to France and she's living the life of her dreams single, which gives her flexibility. She can still go have a, you know, one night stand or go have a relationship or something to, you know, fulfill that need. But, you know, just be clear on what it is you want, because look at what you have now. You're attracting that. You're always Just look and see what you're at. If you're in a string of relationships or no relationships, you're attracting that. You're attracting no relationships. Right. I would just, I would ferret that out again through like coaching, therapy, a really committed listener that would be honest with you and tell you, yeah, I'm not really here and you're committed to finding your soulmate. What I'm hearing is resignation. Why are you resigned? You know, and then you go, well, I'm resigned because, you know, I really thought I had the right guy or had the right girl. And we went for three months and then it fell apart. Well, sooner or later, both parties reveal themselves in a relationship. So if it's three months where you're stuck, you might want to look and see what the three month like I was stuck at one or two months. I didn't date anybody longer than one or two months because I always thought they were going to leave me. But as soon as I had that, it is my own story is I've been married 25 years and been with my wife for 26. And it's, I was lucky because I was able to remove that thing with my mom and probably something else with my sisters too. Like I used to not respect my sister's things. I would like take their bikes and, you know, take money off the dresser to go buy candy and whatever. And they'd yell at me. But I also went back to them and said, hey, look, I apologize. I was a jerk for doing that. You know, like, then I was able to be with somebody. Think of this. I went from a month or two of relationships lengths to 26 years and still going strong. It's pretty amazing. It's pretty amazing. Thank you. Yeah. And so, yeah. And I think that's a great point to make. So if someone is really desiring finding, creating, allowing themselves to see that soulmate and be that soulmate, grab the book, do the exercises. I love that thought of a declaration where you're just claiming it. Let's say that somebody signs the declaration and they say they're going to find their soulmate. They're going to create their soulmate within a certain time frame. What happens if it doesn't happen by that? That's a great question. You start over. You make a new declaration. And look, the book itself, there's 27 action steps, I think, in there. So you can literally just read the book, contemplate it, and someone could come to you, right? And sign your live. Most people will sign the, I call it on a live line because it's not a deadline. It's in a live line. I like that, a live line. So you make the declaration and then you just do what you do. And if you know there's things in the book to do, you do them. You can hire a coach, someone like Bridget. You know, you can hire someone like me to help you see your blind spots. And I think that that is where, that is the traditional, I think that is the strength. If you failed the first time, you had a plan, rework the plan. Go over the plan again and see where you're blocked. I had someone that, and she became a friend. She did one of my workshops, read the book. And I can't remember when it was, but she came to my house because I had, my son was, you know, real young. He was one or two years old. And she came to my house. And we're just sitting there and I'm feeding my son. All of a sudden, I shared something. I don't even remember what I shared with her. but the light went on for her turned and now she's happily married lives in minnesota and has three kids they're they're you know i think they're now in high school already so i mean and she found the ideal person for her and todd and he i'm just like and she will always thanks me she's like oh my god she goes that day when we were feeding max and i was hanging out at the house with you the light went on and you know she always remembers that and she's just like she was she was open and blocked but she was also in personal growth and development so i think once she saw well i think a lot of people in personal growth and development see something as well they have a vantage point that they can see themselves like somebody else can see them or see their own blind spots sometimes and then they get through them quicker you know so now that's That's a consciousness thing as well, which a lot of people, you're knocking on the wrong door. Consciousness is a hard thing to measure. I'm a master muscle tester. I'm an avid fan of Dr. David Hawkins. He wrote the book Power Versus Force, who mapped the universe of consciousness from one to a thousand. And one of the things that I was attracted to was my wife's consciousness. I couldn't couldn't articulate that until after I wrote the book and after I became, you know, muscle testing and more conscious myself. And I was like, that's what I was attracted to. I was attracted to my wife's consciousness. Right. So recognize that, too. It's a very subtle thing. How do you recognize someone's consciousness? How do you recognize? It's like you're swimming in the same water. it's like you're you know I helped a couple that I don't want to get into calibrations because it's I it's something I do but I knew they they calibrated similar and I helped them find a home and two peas in a pod and then they got married after that you know a couple years after they they moved in together and it was just like so obvious seeing them I just kind of let it play out And they both had read my book. And so when you're of a similar level of consciousness, like think about this. Love is 500. All right. Unconditional love is 540. Think about like. If somebody is I'm trying to describe consciousness in relationships, it's like they're considerate, they're thoughtful, they'll apologize. They go, you know what? I was a jerk. I'm sorry. And it happens in a split second. They don't harbor it for a week, a month, days, and then it kills the relationship. They're just so aware, like, this is only hurting myself. You know, I could have been divorced many times in my relationship, but I let go of what I was upset with my wife about, really only upset with myself about. And I let it go. And then usually it's just a, you know, and I can see where I was being kind of off to. I apologize as well. That's what I'm saying is that's awareness. That's. consciousness. That's, you know, you bump in somebody in the street and you say, excuse me, right? If you're not unconscious, you're going to bump into somebody in the street and you're going to keep walking. So it's a very hard thing to, to, to, to spot once you, once you do, and you don't have, you could be similar. Most people that read my book are engaged in most people that are engaged in coaching. I don't want to say this because I don't want to, But I know most people that are effective with the book and that read the book are high conscious people. Yes, I would imagine that would be the case because they would be drawn to desiring that change and they'd be willing to do what's required within themselves to create the soulmate. One of the, I want to give this example, I'd like your opinion on whether I'm on track or I'm off track. When you say that a couple has that overlap or the alignment of consciousness, one of the ways that I feel that manifests is when a couple has that unspoken language where they communicate with each other, whether they're alone or in the presence of other people. And they are able to just with a subtle movement or a subtle look or a turn of the head, they're communicating and they both know what the other means. Yeah. Right. So I feel like that's an example of their that consciousness collaborating with each other within a couple. Yeah. Yeah. Like, OK. Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. And there's no shame in like leaving a party where you're just not into it. Right. And that's right. Yeah. You're like, ready? OK. Yeah. We're leaving. Irish goodbye. You know, that's right. Yeah. like myself and learned. It's so what you're saying is you're on the same page. Yeah. And there one other aspect that you and I both know all of us that are humans have this happen If someone is listening to the two of us and they intrigued and yet their mind is automatically fighting them and disqualifying them before they start meaning they're listening to us and they say, well, that worked for Frank, but it won't work for me because of X, Y, Z, and their limiting beliefs about themselves crop up, and they stop themselves before they even start. Is there one action or thought or encouragement you could give someone in that position to just shift them in their self-perception slightly and they could take action? Yeah. Well, I'm probably going to give many, but I would say, I'm just going to say I would hire a coach. I mean, just so that they can see what they're where they're stopping themselves you know i mean a coach will sit there and patiently wait and help them see something for themselves that they weren't previously able to see about themselves like you know maybe they're being too picky about who they who they want to be with right and you can help them see examples in their life where they're being picky everywhere And, you know, or they're only looking at a certain build or like men are attracted to women. There was a study done by Match.com. Men are attracted to women through attractiveness and appearance. And women are attracted to men through the sound of their voice. So it's a very different, it's two different creatures, male and female, the other, that are going about things in different ways. so but that's how they naturally find somebody that's how they naturally want to be with somebody so if someone like shallow hell is a good movie it's like that movie it's a great movie and that there's a watch that movie and see where you're being shallow with people where are you being that way with people that's what i would say is you know that's one thing that i would say Just keep it simple and look at this. Just look at what you have in your environment. If you're if you're one bedroom apartment or your your home doesn't even support you for who you are. It's a complete mess. It's not clean. You know, it's in disarray. I would start with your closet. Start cleaning out your closet. Literally pick out your clothes and say, this lights me up. I'm putting it in this column. This brings me joy or this. I have no interest in this. I'm getting rid of this. It's college days. I'm getting rid of it. And then put something in the middle, like you can't decide what to do. Put that there and then do the same exercise a few days later with that pile. So that's what I would start. That's how I would start it. People will take physical action with inanimate objects. It's much, and that's why I put it ahead of time. And that's why I put some of this stuff in the book in order that I put it was because I knew people would start cleaning up their bedroom right away. Right away. Like it didn't take action. Well, they will all of a sudden they'll go get they'll take all the single pictures off their walls in their house and go, Jesus, I'm a I've been radiating single vibes, you know. Yes. And then now we're kind of getting in the feng shui part of things. So I encourage people to go get two nightstands, a headboard, get things in your room that represent couples, you know, pictures of couples, couples kissing, statues, two alarm clocks, two night, two lights on. You know, if there's a balance, the balance of power is if both people have nightstands with light lights on each side. Right. that if there's a nightstand in your bedroom as you're single and there's only one nightstand, you're the only one who has the power right now. Get another one and balance the power out. There's, you know, when I first started dating my wife, I had the nightstand and we only had one nightstand. When she moved in, it was on her side. Yeah, there you go. That's right. She had the power. So if I needed something, I had to go, hey, would you turn off the light? And then I started to see where I started balancing my environment. And then I was able to learn from her and generate my own power, bring the own power out of myself with being with her. So that's one thing that I would, without question, do. I would just have the person say, okay, can you focus on your bedroom for the next week? Can you go in it and clean out and take all the stuff out of it that you don't want in there? Let it breathe before you put anything else in there. Anything in. You know, and then go see what lights you up. Go find a great mattress. Go find a great. The first thing that my wife and I did when we got engaged, we bought a brand new bed. We bought a brand new bed and we still have it. And we bought a new mattress. So, you know, some people are sleeping on single mattresses, right? How is that going to support being with somebody? And it's not, you know, some people have a futon in their studio and it's like, how does that support, you know, attracting your soulmate? So I would say start in your environment and, you know, start with your bedroom, start with your closet and your bedroom and go to town. Clean, clear away the clutter. Look at the items that you're no longer that no longer serve you and then let it breathe and write a list of things that you want for your bedroom that would light you up. and you'll find that you get brand new sheets. You get 600 count sheets or some crazy count sheets. You're like, wow, I like this. You start feeling better about yourself. And then all of a sudden you're talking to somebody at the bar and some are somewhere you're talking to them and thread count comes up. And you're like, you know, I just bought thread. I just got new sheets. I love that thread count. They're so comfortable. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, oh, wow, that raises your energy. So I would say, you know, start in your environment. One of the common things that I tell people is whatever's going on up here is in your environment. Absolutely. And it even reminds me a little bit, not entirely, but it reminds me a little bit of the Admiral's book, Make Your Bed, and that impact of just making your bed every morning and having that, you know, so it's very similar in that you can start there. And when you start there, it can have a ripple effect on your self-perception, how you carry yourself through the day and who you will attract and your energy. So I think that is amazing. It's amazing steps for people to take, for sure. And they're simple. It's not asking too much. We're adults. You know, if you're going to find yourself, you have to take adult action. You have to upgrade yourself from being a kid, being a young person, you know, all those layers that you've built on yourself, peel away the layer of the onion and become an adult. And that's, you know, and you have to, I'm constantly becoming more of an adult in my life with my wife and even with my son. Here's the funny thing. My son, every once in a while, will say, apologize. And I'm like, ah, okay, fine. And my wife will look at me and she goes. The bar's pretty high. That's great. Yeah. So I make these references because I'm not any different than anybody else. You know, like anybody else can have these awarenesses about themselves and make themselves better. And once you get in a relationship, it doesn't stop. The learning, the personal growth and development doesn't stop. You just get stuck and you got to find out new tools, coaches, therapists, books, workshops, seminars in order to break through. It's experiments, you experiment with yourself and your environment. Yeah. So anyone out there that is having any thoughts around I am to fill in the blank old, fat, skinny, ugly, pretty, like whatever they're thinking about themselves. Would you say, you know, dumb, smart, introvert, extrovert, like whatever, however they have labeled themselves, if they're using that to exclude themselves from the pool of creating their soulmate, can you give them a resounding, there is someone for everyone and you're not to anything? There's someone for everyone and embrace yourself. That's part of it. Yeah. If you're overweight, embrace it. Right. If you don't feel like you're that attractive, embrace it. Like, gosh, I'm not all that attractive. You know, if you are not happy with your health habits, your physical fitness, et cetera, embrace it. You know, just be like, okay, this is who I am. Somebody's going to love you for who you are. Correct. And it all starts, if you love yourself for who you are, somebody else will do the same too. Yes. Someone will love you for what it is, you know, for who you are. And it all starts with you loving yourself for your own, what you think are shortcomings. I mean, they're not going away. You're always going to have some type of, there's always going to be something there. We all do. Always want to have, be better. You know, wish you didn't have it. You know, I'm starting to get gray hair. I don't wish that I don't have gray hair. I'm just like, wow, I'm getting gray hair. My whole, sooner or later, it's all going to be gray, but I embrace it. So, there you have it. This is remarkable. And I love how your experience being in spaces and feeling the energy of spaces and the feng shui led to this entire path for you. And now you've impacted so many people with either their relationships or their residence. And as you shared, sometimes both. Like it's been what an interesting dynamic. It is, I feel like it's very compelling. And I want to thank you for sharing all of that with us today. Thanks, Bridget. Thanks for having me on. It was really a great conversation. I could talk to you for hours, and I just really appreciated everything that you shared. Again, links for your book are in wherever you're listening to this podcast. It's in the description. And again, it is called Why Wait, Create Your Soulmate, right? And they can go ahead and get that. Actually, that was the original, Why Wait, Create Your Soulmate. And then my book editor said, add now to it. Why Wait, Create Yourself, Create Your Soulmate Now, which I... Excellent. I liked it because it rhymed, Why Wait, Create Your Soulmate. But I was like, okay, I like the now. And it added more urgency to it because it is all about, you know, it's not someday. It's what can you do now? And, you know, for anybody who wants to grab the book, go on Amazon, order it on Amazon, Why Wait, Create Your Soulmate Now. If you have a positive experience with it, definitely, you know, write something positive on the testimonials. That'd be great. If you want to reach out to me directly, well, go to createyoursoulmatenow.com. That's my website. Well, I have really enjoyed this conversation with you as well. And I hope that there are people that are going to take action and realize that they can create their life by design, their environment by design, and their love. They have that option if they choose to take it. So, Frank, again, thank you for being our guest. If you're listening to this episode of The Inner Estate, I hope you'll join us again. Have a great day.