the sin i can't stop doing

Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice. I am your host, Allie Yost, and it is a joy and honor to be here with you guys today. Happy Friday, everybody. I am so grateful that we are here together again on another Friday. And this episode I'm really excited for because God's going to receive the glory. We're sitting down again and I'm like, Lord, I don't know what I'm going to talk about. Well, I know what I'm going to talk about, but it's just like it's fun to just kind of be like okay holy spirit because I don't I'm not a note taker like I don't I didn't take notes I don't really take notes I think I kind of just thrive in this space with God where I'm like Lord what are you gonna do like how are you gonna show up so anyway I know what we're gonna talk about and I'm excited about the very thing that we're going to talk about because my biggest prayer in this week's episode is that it sets so many of y'all free from self-condemnation, self-hatred, shame, and judgment towards self. That is my biggest prayer, is that you guys receive freedom from any kind of shame. Because shame does not come from our Heavenly Father. And it's not something that we're supposed to carry, ever. and I know that it's something that we all still kind of feel. Shame is a hard thing to shake and I am coming into this episode very vulnerable as well because I just at this point I'm like well I don't have anything to hide. I think my experience is probably very similar to a lot of other people's experiences and we're in this together You know, like as the body of Christ, it's like if we are not honest with each other and we're not confessing to each other and we aren't being transparent with one another, like what's the point? You know, like how can we be a body? How can we operate together as the body of Christ if we aren't communicating with each other and we're not being honest with one another? You know, you think about like how a body operates. you know we think about our bodies our physical bodies and we're like yeah our body is actually constantly in communication with itself like your body is sending signals and talking and it's like it only actually can function because of the constant communication that's coming from within our bodies like our bodies are crazy and they function best that way and so if we're not talking to one another and we're not being honest with each other that's not a healthy body you know Yeah, I'm looking forward to this episode and I really want to talk about a real aspect of being a Christian that I honestly just don't see enough of on the internet. And that's just me being honest. Like, I consume content on the internet a lot. I am a consumer of the internet. I love the internet. I love social media. obviously it has its pros and its cons but I love it I love scrolling on Instagram and TikTok and I love learning more about Jesus even through my algorithm of like what other people are going through but one thing that I don't really see a lot of is people admitting that they fall to sin and that they fall to the same sin over and over again like I I just don't see enough Christians being like hey brothers and sisters I fell like I stumbled and I don't say that to like gain any pity from anyone but I say that because it's real and it's a part of the Christian experience of like falling short and doing the very thing that we don't want to do and Paul says it best in Romans where he's like I don't know why I do it but I do the thing that I don't want to do and the things that I want to do I don't do like I literally can't figure myself out and I hate it and I wish that I didn't do the thing that I don't want to do but I still do them and it's like that like that struggle from within of being like I know the things I'm not supposed to do and deep down like I don't even really want to do it because then once you do the thing and you like fall to your flesh and you sin and you do the thing that you promised yourself and maybe even promised God that you would never do after you do it you're like I didn't even want to do Like I didn't even want to do that. Why do I do the very thing that I don't want to do? And why is it so hard for me to do the thing that I want to do? Which is to not do that sin, right? Is to not fall short. Is to not make a mistake and stumble. And so I say let's just talk about it. Let's be honest. Let's be real. And I'm fine with putting myself out there on the chopping board and admitting to you guys like that this is something that I've been struggling with. There is a particular sin in my life that I had recently fallen to and I promised myself and I promised God that I wouldn't do it. And I'm like, why are we pretending that this isn't the human experience of walking with God? And this isn't the very reason why we need him. I'm not saying there isn't vulnerability that exists on the internet in the Christian space. I have seen it and it does exist. But I just think there needs to be more of it. There's too much like, like of all the fluffy, lovey, like great parts about walking with God. but there's not enough parts of like yeah but also like this stuff is hard and like I fail and I suck and I'm talking about me like Allie talking about me like sometimes I suck and I fail and I do the thing that I don't want to do and what really inspired me to bring this to the podcast today is I got on the internet a few days ago and I posted a video of me expressing this like frustration I had woken up the next day and honestly this was like after I had already repented and like asked the Lord for forgiveness and had a whole moment with Jesus the day before and I was like Lord I hate that I did this and I'm actually so frustrated with myself that I allowed this and like I know that his mercies are new every morning and I knew that like on God's mind it wasn't there anymore like the next morning it wasn't on God's mind anymore like I already had my heart to heart with him and it's probably just because we're really vulnerable in the mornings but I'm curious to know if this is something that you guys feel is like the mornings are sometimes hard for me where I really am the most vulnerable and I guess that makes sense like when you think about the enemy is he's going to probably come in at our most vulnerable moments you know like he tries to come in in our sleep it's like when we're not even like awake we can't really defend ourselves um times like that or like when you're waking up in the mornings and you're just like coming to I don't know. I just like feel everything heavier in the mornings And so I woke up the next morning and I i've like felt good the night before with my conversation with god But for some reason shame was like trying to make its way back The next morning on me and so I like sat down on my couch I'm having a whole moment with jesus and I don't know why this is just like something that happens to me It's got to be the holy spirit, but something comes over me and is like you need to film this And uh, I think a lot of times people are probably like that's weird that that would be your first reaction and I'm like I get it actually same I do think it's weird as well but sometimes I don't think it's fully me like I don't think that's Allie like influence I think it's like God is like this is a moment that I want you to share with the world and I have plenty of moments like that with God that are not on camera I would actually say I probably only share like three percent I'm always weeping on my face but there's so many intimate moments that the world will just never know about that will always be between me and God but this was a moment that I was like okay I thought it would be a moment that was just between me and God but for some reason I felt I was supposed to share it so I prop up my phone and I'm just like hey I sinned shock also I'm just like I'm a person and so I would hate to think that there are people out there I do this too but like there's always people that we look up to and I would just hate to think that people would ever compare themselves to a version of myself that wasn't authentically being like hey and by the way I am not the standard Jesus is the standard because look at the way I just messed up and so I was like yeah I did this thing and I'm like bummed at myself and I don't know why I keep doing it so frustrating and so there is like a real aspect of being a Christian where you just want to show up and be perfect for Jesus obviously when you come to the reality of like what it means to be saved through Christ and what he has done for you all you want to do is give him everything including perfection you're like I need to give him everything I need to sacrifice everything I cannot be selfish he has everything to me he has the air that I breathe it's with such a pure heart right because you're like Jesus gave me everything, the least that I could do is like dedicate my entire life to him. The reality is that we can never actually be perfect for Jesus. That is why we need him so desperately every day. And I think that there's some routes you can take with that, right? I think sometimes people could hear that and be like, so what's the point? Like if I will, if I can never give Jesus what he deserves and I could never be perfect for him even though in scripture it does say and I would love to read that to you guys as well um I'd love to break down some scriptures and again I'm not saying that I'm a pastor I'm just a girl who loves Jesus and I'm a girl who's learning every day and we are in this together but I would love to share like things that I have learned and things that I believe to be true is that um yes we are to pursue righteousness and we are to pursue being just like Jesus. And when we say something like that, it means that we are pursuing perfection because he is perfection. But I think the truth is like perfection isn't a thing, it's a person. And so I believe that when the scripture says like we are to be perfect as Christ is perfect we are to be pursuing Jesus like perfection is a person and not a thing the one who is perfect is Jesus the only thing that is perfect is God himself and I think the truth is like knowing the reality of mercy and grace and like if we were to pursue perfection and God knew that we would probably fall short of that and we would stumble and we would have a hard time there'd be no purpose for his mercy and his grace which he says in his scriptures are new every morning why are his mercies new every morning because we're probably gonna mess up every day it's the privilege it's the freedom through christ that we get to pursue his holiness and his righteousness and his perfection knowing that we're probably gonna fall short sometimes but we have his mercy so it's like the fact that we don't have to carry the weight of like okay we have to pursue righteousness and be as christ but if we fall short that's it for us like it's actually because of his death his sacrifice his crucifixion the resurrection his mercy it was the mercy of God to give up his one and only son that covered everything. He covers all of the sin that you've once done, all of the sin that you probably will do one day. Oops. But like, it's because it's actually that we should rejoice in the fact that we get to pursue righteousness. We get to become more and more like Christ while also probably stumbling and falling sometimes. But he's then behind us and he catches us. If it wasn't for God's mercy and grace, we would be doomed. But that doesn mean that we shouldn pursue his righteousness If anything it like God has given us a gift of mercy and grace So we going to use that We not going to take advantage of it though OK, let's talk about that in a second. His mercy and his grace is not used as a crutch to then sin and be like, oh, but God forgives me. It's not to be abused. It's not to be taken advantage of. But we should embrace it. You know what I mean? like when we make boo-boos and we're not doing it from a place of like ah but God is going to forgive me like you're like oh my gosh Lord I like really didn't want to do that thing and I did it we actually should rejoice in the fact that that's not it like you're not done because God's like yeah but my mercies are new every day and I love you and what God cares about the most is our heart posture it's our heart how many times have we said that on the podcast it's your heart and so I want you to know that there is a point in pursuing righteousness and becoming more and more like Christ. It's okay if you fall and you fail, but that doesn't mean that it's all written out and you're like, well, then what's the point? The point is, is we get the privilege to become more and more like Jesus through his Holy Spirit, which is an experience that we probably could never get anywhere else. Like to become more like Jesus with Jesus is the coolest privilege ever. He's the best. He's perfect. Today's episode is sponsored by Upside, which is an app that can give you cash back on your very normal daily expenses like gas, groceries, and dining. Which I can bet are the three things that are draining your wallet right now because they are the three things that drain my wallet the most. And that's why there's Upside. The app is free and there's over 100,000 participating locations, which means there are cash back opportunities everywhere you already go. What's pretty awesome about Upside is they already have a pretty credible resume. Their users earn back $1 million every week. And unlike other programs, you can stack Upside alongside your already existing credit cards and loyalty programs. When I started using the Upside app, I was actually pleasantly surprised because I didn't realize how much I could actually save using an app like this. But I was shocked to see that it actually adds up. On the things that I know I'm already going to be buying, I could not believe how much I was actually saving. And so if you're looking for other ways to budget and save money, I would highly suggest it. To find out how much you could earn with the Upside app, download the app for free and you can use code ONICE to get an extra 25 cents off for every gallon of your first tank of gas. That's an extra 25 cents per gallon on your first tank of gas using promo code ONICE. So we get the opportunity to become more and more like him with his Holy Spirit guiding us and being like, hey, this is how you do it. If you want to be like me, this is how you do it. And guess what? I'm going to walk with you every step of the way. And guess what else? I've even written it down for you. I've given you everything that you need to know. And, and this isn't even just like how to be like Jesus. This is also like, and also in the process of becoming like Jesus, when you stumble, here's what you do as well. Because like, it's not a surprise to God when you accidentally mess up. He knew that he had, he already had mercies and grace built up and ready to go for you because he knew that. And so it's like, the point is we get to become like Jesus and then we get the comfort and the guidance and the forgiveness. He's in it from the beginning, middle and end. When we stumble and we fall, we get the gift of his mercies and his forgiveness. So it isn't a reason to give up or say like, what's the point? And I will say that if you are genuinely heartbroken over your sin, if you are somebody who is like, like I was the next morning where I was like, Lord, I literally stink. Why can't I be what you need me to be? Why do I keep falling to the same sin over and over again? I'm so frustrated with myself. I feel like a fake fan. Like I genuinely feel like a fake fan to you. I say how much I love you. I say how much I'm going to do everything for you. I can't tell you how many times I've looked at Jesus and I've been like, I will literally give you everything in my life and I will do everything for you. I'm obsessed with you, God. I don't know what I would do without you. I would never betray you. I could never go against you. And then, and then I do a thing that is not something the Lord would ever want me to do. And I, and I immediately go against him. And for a second, I choose myself over him. And so if you've ever sat there and be like wow god i'm a fake fan like i'm so heartbroken over the fact that i could do that to you i think that's a good sign i know that it's probably not the best feeling to feel those things you know to feel the shame and the guilt but the truth is is like that is a good sign because it still shows that you have a heart for god like can we just like look at the silver lining for a second i know that what you did wasn't good and i know that what you did was bad but the fact that your heart is broken over it and your heart is broken for God and you're like I hate that I just did that to you let that be a sign that your heart is not hardened towards God and you do still have a heart for God because if you didn't that wouldn't be your reaction like your reaction would be like it's no biggie God will forgive me that is when I would be afraid for you I would say that your heart is probably a little hardened and you're a little numb to the reality of what you're doing and who God is and there's probably just not enough fear of the Lord over your life if you're sinning and you're like numb and unfazed and if that's the case like I will say that there is opportunity for your heart to be softened again and you don't have to be numb to your sin anymore if you want to have a soft heart and and you want to feel frustrated in the ways that you're living um that is possible but I will say that it takes being in the presence of God and it takes being in his word and it takes like being at his feet you know and talking to him I think the only reason that once upon a time I I was unfazed by my sin was because I didn't know God and I wasn't like I wasn't intimate with him like I didn't I didn't have a personal relationship with him and I wasn't in partnership with him and it wasn't until I was like super tight with God that I then was like sick by my sin I think it would take somebody who's pretty disconnected from God and disconnected from the presence of God that they don't actually let God anywhere near their heart if they can keep on sinning and they don't feel anything about it like they don't feel certain type of way about it they don't feel any type of shame like again shame isn't good if anything maybe I should be using the word guilt because I think feeling guilty is more of a indication of conviction you know which comes from the Holy Spirit comes from God conviction is one thing like feeling guilty and being like oh I know I shouldn't have done that versus shame is like bro you're literally the worst like you might as well just like turn away from god you might as well just give up shame is also very isolating like it puts you in a place of like you should just run off to sea and never talk to another person or god ever again you're a failure you suck like shame is like go die in a hole type energy guilt is like oh i know i shouldn't have done that and I feel really bad but um anyway so I guess I'll use the word guilt but like if you're not if that person is not feeling guilty over their sin I think it's a lack of closeness to God it could be it could also be a lack of like wisdom you know I think that was another thing for me is like I didn't know that in the ways I was sinning was sin but if it is somebody who like you know they know better and they know that the thing that they're doing is not good there's there's a disconnect and there's distance and the thing is is like if that's you that's okay if you are genuinely like so disconnected from God and you feel really distant and you haven't been in his presence and you haven't been in your word and you're sitting in ways where you're like yeah I don't feel anything anymore about the ways that I'm living um I'm not saying that what you're doing is okay but I want you to know it is okay and there is still hope if that is something if If you want to get back to a place of intimacy with God and you do want to feel repulsed by the ways that you're living because you know that there's a better path for you. And the thing is, the thing about sin is like, it's not that God is just this big dictator in the sky wagging his finger and being like, just don't do this and don't do that. And it's because I said so. It's like God tells us not to do things because he knows the harm that it'll actually do to us, to others. and what it'll do for our spiritual life and our connection between him and ourselves. Like when we sin, it actually puts a wedge between us and our heavenly father and it affects our spiritual health. Like whether we realize it or not, like it actually affects our spirit and it affects people around us. he tells us to not participate in these things because he knows how detrimental it is to us and so it's actually out of his love that he's like yeah I'm telling you like if you do that stuff listen I've given you free will you have a choice but I'm telling you if you do it it's not going to be good and eventually down the road it's going to eat you alive it's not going to fulfill you in the ways that you think it's going to fulfill you because the thing is y'all is that when we sin and we fall short and we participate in things we know we're not supposed to be participating in because God says right in his word don't do these things if we're doing that it's because we're trying to fulfill something like we're trying to like scratch an itch we're trying to fulfill something we're trying to feel something we're trying to fill a void we're just trying to like feel better and and in God saying I'm just telling you it's not going to do what you think it's going to do it's it's going to do what you want it to do for a few seconds a few minutes maybe a couple hours but after that I'm telling you you're going to feel even more empty than you did before and the reason I know that is because I've created you and I've created you for a single purpose and the purpose is is to be in relationship with me and me to be in relationship with you and for us to be in love and to love others the way that I I love you like that is what I've created you for is to love you and be loved by you and so I'm telling you you can do whatever you want but I'm telling you that if you do these things it's not going to fulfill you and it's actually gonna make you feel even more empty inside and so what do we do we keep doing it but like the point is is that God is not telling us to not do things because he just like has something about power and like loves bossing us around no he says don't do these things because I'm telling you it's detrimental to your health and your soul and your body and your mind like please listen to me because I made you and I know I know what it will do to you and so I say it's okay if that's you because I believe that you can get back to that place with the Lord and it's not too late and you're not too far gone and so if you've dug a hole of like a really bad habit and you've been sinning in a way I'm telling you that you're not too far gone and you don't have to believe this lie that like now that you're in this pit you just have to lay in it because if that were the truth there'd be no point to Jesus dying on the cross for you like he did that for you to get you out of the pit and so you don have to lay there anymore something that feels a little prideful that we could do sometimes too is we could be like yeah jesus like i get that like i really appreciate that you willing to forgive me but i just telling you like i don deserve it like i don you don need to forgive me you don't have to give it to me and i i don't deserve your forgiveness i think it's pretty prideful for us to make that decision for jesus when he already made it like there's no productivity in that to be like yeah well i don't deserve it and it's like okay well, Jesus already did it. Like it's done. He already did it. He already sacrificed his entire life for you. So there, it's just like to, to try to backpedal and be like, yeah, but I, Jesus, I appreciate, but go give it to someone else. It's like, no, but he was actually thinking of you on the cross. Like he was thinking about every single one of us and you were already a thought on his mind. He was thinking about you. And so there, there's no productivity in that either. He's like, okay, well, I already did it. So you can't just like revoke that. And also there is no decision to be made on Jesus's behalf for you where you're like, yeah, but I'm going to make the decision for you, Jesus. And just be like, I don't deserve it. Okay. Well, first off, don't care. Love you. The love is still there for you. It's not just going to disappear because you've now told me that you don't deserve it. And the truth is, is like, yeah, I know you don't, but I still did it. It's done. It's been done. It already was done. Over 2000 years ago, he already did it. So it's like, he's given you a gift of his forgiveness and his love. And so just take it, receive it. Of course, it wouldn't make him happier to see you just not receiving a gift of love and forgiveness and a home. Like he just wants you to be home in his arms. And so it wouldn't make him happier to be like oh wow like they know that they don't deserve it and so now they're just gonna be over there refusing any of my forgiveness or my love or my help just let him love you just let him love you you're not too far gone and even if you feel like you don't deserve it that's okay a lot of times I don't feel like I do either a lot of times I get so frustrated with Jesus sometimes and I'm like God why like I'm literally I mess up and I say I'm not gonna do something and then I do it so I get that frustration but it's also like who are we to tell Jesus like he already he's the boss and he made the decision for you and he said I already laid my life down and it doesn't make sense and so that's why I think sometimes in these situations we need to just like step out of our own way and be like yeah it doesn't make any sense and I don't deserve it and I don't get it I don't understand how you have so much grace God but sometimes you just gotta stop there and be like I don't get it but okay I receive it thanks for loving me anyway I physically don't understand it don't think I deserve it but okay I guess I'll just say yes something that I've also learned about like making God promises is like obviously I vow my life to him and I'm like Lord I just want to be the best I can for you but there is a truth to like making God promises and the truth is is like I don't even know if God is looking for deals or vows or like I promise I'll never do this again prayers he's just looking for truth, humility, and dependence. Like he's just looking for honesty, you know? And like we were saying, he's so much more invested in your heart and who you are at the core of your being. You know, he's more concerned about your heart posture and your heart when it comes to him. And so if your relationship with God is not filled with a bunch of, God, I promise and I will never do this ever again like if it's not filled with all of that but it's filled with like truth humility dependence and honesty with him I think that's all he wants and so like even in my moment where I went to God I was like Lord I wish that I could be this for you and I'm not like that was me being honest and I think I think he values that so much more because at the end of the day I think God just wants us to feel safe enough to be honest with him and I think being honest with God like the first step to that is knowing that he already knows everything anyway like he already knows everything that's in my heart anyway and so who am I kidding by like not being honest with him and even being honest with myself and just being like yeah God I'm I'm a phony like I feel like a phony at least and I feel like you deserve better and I'm so frustrated in myself for doing the thing that I said I wouldn't do and even in that moment I felt Jesus be like Allie I'm not asking you to be perfect I'm asking you to be honest with me and if you can do that with God he's obsessed with that so instead of saying things like God I promise I'll never mess up again if you just help me I think what God would rather hear from us is, God, I need you. I can't do this without you. The Bible calls us to pursue holiness, but it warns us against trying to be perfect in our own strength. Striving with God does not equal striving to be God. God knows we won't reach sinless perfection. Romans 3.23 says, For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. This isn't just a statement. It's a starting point. Falling short is assumed, not shocking. 1 John 1.8 says, If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. Trying to convince yourself or God that you've arrived spiritually actually pulls you away from truth, not closer to it. Jesus reframes what perfection really means. Matthew 5, 48 says, be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly father is perfect. This verse can feel crushing until you understand the word Jesus uses. The Greek word teleos means complete, mature, whole, not flawless. Jesus isn't saying never mess up. He's saying grow up into love, become whole, keep moving toward me. Striving from effort versus striving from grace. okay so this is what we're talking about when we're saying that we have we get the privilege of receiving god's grace is that we don't actually have to strive from our own effort anymore we get to strive from his grace galatians 3 3 reads after beginning by means of the spirit you are now trying to finish by means of the flesh this hits hard god starts the work in us and he also finishes it perfectionism sneaks in when we try to take over the process Philippians 1 6 reads he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus notice who's responsible for the completion not you him okay and then I do want to read Romans 7 15 this is what I was referring to a little bit earlier in the episode where Paul was talking about his frustration of doing the thing that he doesn't want to do but not doing the thing that he does want to do. I don't really understand myself for I want to do what is right but I don't do it. Instead I do what I hate but if I know that what I am doing is wrong this shows that I agree that the law is good. So I am not the one doing wrong it is sin living in me that does it. That's my NLT translation. In another translation, it says, for I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do, this I keep on doing. If Paul, the apostle Paul, felt this tension, then your struggle isn't failure. It's actually evidence that the spirit is at work. God doesn't ask you to be perfect. He asks you to be honest, dependent, and willing to keep walking towards him, even when you stumble. and I also think like if you find yourself in a situation like I found myself in where I was partaking in a sin that I thought I would never ever do I was like God I thought I already made the promise to you I thought I already made the promise to myself like I promised that I wouldn't do it again and if you found if you've ever found yourself or are finding yourself now in a situation like that you're probably like okay Allie this all makes me feel a lot better knowing that like God is on my side and it's not actually through my own works that I'm ever going to get through this but it's actually through his works and it's through his grace and his mercies which are new every day like I do feel a lot less anxious about it I'm not as mad at myself anymore like I've received his forgiveness you know like I believe that he truly loves me no matter what and that he forgives me okay let's say you're there now you're like okay great this has all made me feel so much better but also low-key Allie how do I stop doing it though because like I don't want to just be in this endless cycle of doing the same thing over and over again like making the same promise falling short and having to like feel this over and over again and I think the truth is is like well one something that is so productive and really important is not only being honest with God about it, but also being honest with someone in your life. And so as I started off this episode by saying like it is so important for us as a body to be honest with one another because that is how we're going to function best, right? Is if we are transparent and honest with each other about everything, but it goes down to even our own struggles. And I think that having that accountability and having somebody in your life that you know and trust somebody who's in the church it could be your pastor it could be an elder it could be somebody that you look up to it could be a friend of yours who's in the church like it could be somebody in your community who's in the body and you're like hey I have to confess something to you this is something I've been struggling with and I thought I was done with it but I find myself back to this again and like I need to tell you about it and there is nothing more vulnerable than having to do that but I think it does a few things I think one it like brings the very thing to the light you know like you don't have to keep this inside you don't have to keep it in the dark like you can release it and let it out and tell somebody about it there is so much freedom in that act alone of being like I'm just gonna say it I'm just gonna tell somebody so that I don't have to keep carrying this and like bottle it up inside and also like it makes it real not only to yourself but also now to somebody else where you're like okay this is like real like other people know about this and there is a level of accountability that it holds you at when you are telling other people about it and that I think is the best way to um get to a place where you're like I can't do this anymore is like now that you're bringing other people into it and they know about it it's so much easier to keep on sinning when it's just a secret It's so much easier to just keep on doing the same thing over and over again when other people don't know about it And it's like yeah, you can go back to jesus all the time and you can repent and you can receive his forgiveness and all of that is good But like as long as you keeping it a secret it going to make it 10 times more tempting To do it because nobody else knows about it So you have to put a spotlight on that sin and you have to tell somebody it does hold you accountable in a way that you couldn have been held accountable had you kept it to yourself and kept it a secret and kept it in your closet you know so I would I would strongly advise you to do that and then also like in that conversation with the person that you bring it to you could be like I really like struggle and I and I just I don't know how I'm I'm gonna stop to like I'm afraid because I've gotten to this place before where I've been like I'm never gonna do it again and then I do it and like I think just getting with a brother and sister or sister and be like yeah I I need your help like I think I need you to hold me accountable and I don't know what that would look like maybe we can brainstorm right now and like that person is since it's somebody that you trust and love is going to love you through that and what's really cool is they shouldn't judge you and they're not going to judge you because if they are also carrying the holy spirit and they embody christ and also they're a person and a human who also sins and messes up so it's like if they have any compassion for you they're like yeah okay maybe i'm not struggling with this sin but i know i've struggled with other sins and so i get it my man my girl I get it so it's like not only will they have that level of compassion because they're like I'm human too and I get it I'm also not perfect but also they like literally have the Holy Spirit living and dwelling inside of them and so it's like they're gonna have the compassion and grace and mercy of Jesus in them there's no fear of you to feel like they're judging you they shouldn't they really shouldn't they should only be approaching this with like comfort and understanding and compassion for you and then yeah I mean then you guys can brainstorm and be like okay I really need to be held accountable in this way like what can we do moving forward on how I can be held accountable in this because I don't want to be a slave to this anymore and I don't want it to be a secret anymore and I don't want to keep doing it so I honestly think accountability and confession to a fellow brother and or sister in Christ is very important and then I think another thing is like a really honest and honestly this could be a continuous part of the conversation that you have with this person but I think another honest conversation that you could have with yourself or with this person is like just evaluating what kinds of things fuels this temptation of sin like what are the things that leads up to this that leads to that sin like what's the common denominator of like the thing that happens that is then fueling the temptation and I don't know that answer for you right now I don't know what it is right but like I know that you probably are already having some theories that are coming through your head right now where you're like okay well I mean a plus b equals this and so then I yeah I guess every time I fall into this it's because these things were a factor before that were then fueling the temptation which then led me to actually do the very thing that I didn't want to do another question could be what environments make sin feel easier for you. I think that's a very real question that you could ask yourself as well is like are there certain environments that actually make it a lot easier for me to sin? What habits lower my self-control when I'm tired, lonely, bored, stressed? Sin actually weakens when you stop preparing environments for it. When you stop preparing space for it something that's really real which i do want to like expand a little bit further on this statement that i did already make on this episode is the underlying lie of what the sin is telling you like why we even get to a place or a temptation of wanting to partake in sin is the lie that most sin is actually trying to meet a legitimate need but in an illegitimate way so replacing that lie underneath the sin james 1 14 through 15 says each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed so some questions that you could ask yourself is what am i believing right before i sin and it could be like this is going to comfort me or this will make me feel wanted or this will take the edge off so in those moments where you know that you're believing a lie of like this is going to comfort me this is just going to like make me feel better intentionally replace it with truth which is god sees me god satisfies deeper than this does this feeling will pass sin actually loses its power when its lie is exposed don't fight sin starve it by walking away in the spirit galatians 5 16 says walk by the spirit and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. Notice that it doesn't say focus on not sinning. It says focus on walking with the spirit. So practically worship when temptation hits, right? Pray out loud. Read scripture before temptation, not only after failure. Ask the spirit, what do you want me to do right now? Light displaces darkness. It doesn't argue with it. Another thing that would be so productive as we are trying to not partake in the thing that we don't want to do is to cut it off early. Don't negotiate with it. Matthew 5 29 says so if your eye even your good eye causes you to lust gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell and if your hand even your stronger hand causes you to sin cut it off and throw it away it is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown in hell jesus uses an extreme language here okay but it's not to harm yourself but to say deal with sin at the root not the outcome sin is easiest to stop at the thought at the scroll at the fantasy at the second glance Once you're already halfway in, you're not fighting sin, you're wrestling desire. And then something that is very important, which we have emphasized quite a bit on this episode, is to lean into grace immediately after failure. One of my favorite scriptures ever, y'all, is from Romans. It's 8.1, Romans 8.1, which is there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Shame keeps sin alive, but grace actually starves it. So when you fall, don't spiral, don't self-punish, don't withdraw from God. run toward him immediately. Sin thrives in isolation and silence. So if a question that you're asking yourself is how in the world do I stop sinning? God might be inviting you to ask God how do I trust you more in my weakness? Because transformation doesn't come from pressure it comes from presence which is his presence. And if anything again my biggest hope and desire in this episode is that you guys feel seen that you're not alone in this you're not a failure you're gonna stumble god expected that actually and that there is a way out and it's okay if you mess up the lord is right there to pick you up off your feet again and of course there are things that we can do to lessen the chances of us you know i think again it should always be a goal of ours to not do the very things that God tells us not to do but also like being okay with the fact that you're gonna stumble sometimes but that's what Jesus is there for and so I really I'm just encouraging you guys to uh run to the feet of Jesus no matter what and that he loves you so much and yeah I also would just love to pray over you guys before we end this episode no matter where because again I don't know where you could be at when it comes to these kinds of things but I would just love to lift you up and encourage you so Jesus I thank you for my friend here on the other end God I thank you for how much you love them Jesus and I just pray God that no matter where they're at right now wherever their heart is at it could be soft it could be hardened they could be numb they could be filled with shame like I don't know where they could be at and what they could be feeling but Lord I just pray that you intervene in the way that you know best for them God you know them and so Jesus I just pray for a miraculous beautiful encouraging encounter with your Holy Spirit Jesus I pray that they get to feel an overwhelming love from you, God, that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. And so, Lord, I thank you that they are in Christ Jesus. They are a part of the body, which means there is no condemnation. There's no shame for them. And so, Lord, I pray that in all the ways that they have hated themselves, that they have been frustrated with themselves, God, will you lift those burdens of shame and self-condemnation off of them in Jesus' name, God. I pray, Lord, that you break off all bondage of shame and isolation in the mighty name of Jesus, God. I pray for unity between them and you if there are ways that they have distanced themselves from you, God, in certain areas of their life, Lord. I pray for reconciliation between you and them, between your spirit and their heart. God, I thank you for their life, Lord. I thank you for the mercies and the grace that you have for them every day. And so, Lord, I pray for healing over them, God. And I lift up the things that they struggle with, Lord. And I just pray that you free them from those things. God, I pray for strength from your Holy Spirit to resist those temptations in Jesus' name. God, I thank you that they are not a slave to sin, God, but they are yours. Like, even as we fall to sin, Lord, I thank you that we are actually never a slave to sin. because of your blood and so lord i actually plead your blood the blood of jesus christ over them over their minds over their bodies over their spirit god i plead the blood of jesus from the top of their head to the bottom of their feet lord and i just thank you for their life god i thank you for everything that you are going to do through them and for them lord i thank you that even this very thing that looks impossible like it looks like a giant mountain in front of them god i i We thank you that this very thing is something that you are going to receive glory for. And they are receiving freedom in. And so I just declare that truth over them, Jesus. And I thank you for them. I bless them. In Jesus' name, God, I bless them. Amen. Amen. Thank you guys so much for joining today. I love you. I'm so proud of you. Keep hanging in there. Don't run away from God. Literally run towards him. like in in your failures even in your successes in everything like please just run towards him please run towards him and if you've been running away from him that's okay turn around real quick for me right now turn around and run towards him he loves you he's there for you he's never gonna leave you and he's faithful y'all he's so faithful so um okay I'm gonna go now I've chatting a lot. I love you guys. Jesus loves you more. But before we go, can we do something really cool today? Can we show somebody how cool Jesus is? Can we walk more like him, talk more like him, be more like Jesus? I love y'all. Happy Friday. Have a beautiful weekend. I'll see you a week from today. And I can't wait to see what we talk about then. Okay. I love you guys. Bye.