Your Favorite Queen’s Favorite Seamstress (w/ Danny Godoy)

You guys know I'm always on the go. It was a hectic year, so I planned to get away to Joshua Tree with a few of my friends because we just needed to stare at some rocks and disconnect. And here's the thing about hotels. Okay, I like them. Sometimes you find a cute one, but when you're traveling with your friends, a hotel room is just not big enough. And I refuse to sit on my bed eating room service just so my friend can have the one chair that's in the room. I like a hotel pool, but I do not like fighting for a lounge chair or getting splashed by strangers. I want a kitchen where I can open a bottle of wine and just yap all night without worrying about getting a noise complaint. That's why for this trip, finding a home on Airbnb was the only option. We found this amazing cute spot on a huge property with a private pool, and it meant we could just sprawl out and enjoy our time together without being just like on top of one another. And if you only want the best, you need to look for their guest favorites. It's a badge on Airbnb that shows the most loved homes based on ratings, reviews, and reliability. It basically takes out all of the guesswork. So if you want to have fun with your friends on your next trip, book your next day on Airbnb. Want to watch this episode? Catch the full video on YouTube. Just hit the link in the episode description. This is a HeadGum Podcast. The conversation we were having before I coughed and farted on you, we were talking with Gio our brand new favorite my favorite person our Palm Springs daddy and we were talking to him about like dicks because he's friends with like a lot of porn stars so we were having just conversations about penises and one of our friend's husband's penis because he can't take it anymore and I was like I mean he is hot and I'm here I'll do it for you so I offered myself and then I went and then I went It was rather wild. It was. Because it was such quick succession to be like, I'll suck your dick. I was like, I don't. Well, I farted because I was laughing. And I tried to see if no one heard it. But I'm tight, so it's loud. You heard it here. If you like the doy, let him know. Also, be tight. And I have a fat ass. date me? Why won't you date me? Please tell me why. Baby, welcome to another episode of Why Won't You Date Me, a podcast for me. Nicole Byer was trying to figure out why I was so single, even though you could come on my finger and tell me it was an acrylic. My guest today, My guest today is a drag artist and designer behind some of your favorite RuPaul's Drag Race looks. They've done outfits for Bob the Drag Queen, Kim Chi, Carrie, Colby, and so many more icons. And this person once farted and coughed on me at a party. It's Danny Godoy! And you taught me how to sew in one day. and you can add another name onto that list who? soon soon to be me yeah I can't wait like some of your shit is so fucking no all of it is so fucking good I was about to say and the other is shit well I've seen you take a sheen dress and shush it up well Nicole thank you for having me thank you for doing this I love your necklace I also like this look you look like like a boy who escaped a Catholic school. Yeah, because a priest wouldn't touch me. Which makes me really mad. Like, I was probably an ugly kid. No, I was a very cute kid. I know that for a fact. Yes, I don't see ugliness for you. Like, you've got a good round face. You've got nice big eyes. What? Maybe I'm just ugly here. In your heart? No, actually, it's here. In your head? We're kind of ugly sometimes. No. Okay, wait. Rewind it. Okay. Sewing. I got you something. What is it? This will be good for people only listening. ASMR. They call this opening. Ooh, what is this? I don't know. I forgot what I got you. Oh, I got you Stitch Witchery. What's that? So it helps you hem things because you don't own an overlock and you didn't want to hem those pants. No, because it's too much work. So with this, you just iron it on. And I got you two different kinds to try. Goodoy, thank you. Because I, hold on, I'll talk after I look at it. And I also got you Taylor's chocolate. Oh! Yeah. Goodoy, thank you so much. I, so I after, okay. So I group texted, it was you and Meatball. And I was like, let's have a craft night. Teach me how to sew. Because Meatball tried to teach me how to sew. we made a bag a tank top and then she was like let's make matching jumpsuits that might have been my idea i don't remember but it was too fucking hard cut all of the patterns and i was like i'll never see you again um so then i texted you two and i was like let's have a craft night meepal was like yes let's do it and they didn't fucking show up it was the day that she wanted to do it she said we'll do this date and we said okay we'll do that date meepal said I'm in New York City yeah where the fuck were you I'm eating Caesar salad pizza but you know what we still had fun we did have a very good time because we had Kim who came over and didn't craft just answered emails which is crafting you're crafting an email people say that people say that they do say that she was crafting an email well now she took on she made little belt not belt leather wallets so she's gonna do that at her next crafting she said and then we had Monet who I made her She sat there. And sewed feathers. Oh, yes. I made her finish her outfit. And then what did Vicky? Vicky was doing? Stand up. But sitting down. And then I made my own pattern and I've used it and I made, I had fabric I didn't like. So I was like, I'm going to see if I could do this again. And honestly, most of the time is just cutting the pattern or like cutting the fabric to the pattern. That's it. It's a long time. It's crazy. Pinning. Oh, my God. I was going to bring you some weights to, like, hold down your pattern. They're really heavy. I understand. Your dainty little arms couldn't hold them. Mostly in the upper area. Godoy, are you dating? I am not actively dating. Do you want to be or no? Are you fucking? I'm fucking. Yeah. I actually don't know how to date. What? You have to explain that a little bit more. So the last time that I went on an actual date was maybe like 2021. But it was like, oh, we're going to go to Akbar. And do what? I also, I didn't really know myself that much. Now I'm like, I know exactly what I want to do and like my hobbies versus my career. so yeah but I am open to dating I am on like I'm actually I'm just on Raya but it's horrible a brag I'm just on Raya it's just like a networking thing it's like girl get your fucking ass out of your head out of your ass so do you want to be in a relationship or no you're just like whatever I don't know yet okay because we've talked about this. I don't even remember because I was drunk at Monet's engagement party where it's like we were talking about manifesting it and like all of that good stuff. There was a lot of my adult life or 20s where I was like, I'm too much. I'm too much. I'm too loud. I do drag. I da da da. Where it's like, bitch, whoever's going to watch you is going to watch it for who you are. All of that. And on top of there's an added layer to this. We have great friends. Yeah. Like the the threshold for our partner to fuck up is really low because everyone knows that I like knowing things right up front. Actually, I have a fun story. But let me just wrap this one up real quick. I like knowing things like you tell me the truth. If I fuck up, you tell me and I will take accountability. but I also know that exteriorly exterior exterior on the exterior on the outside I come off very um like strong and like strong person you have a very strong personality yeah so a lot of people don't want to tell me those things so I figure that when I do end up getting a relationship if it's not a good one someone won't tell me but I do know that there there are my friends that will tell me that. Okay. On the other side. Yes. I forgot what I was going to say. Oh, no. You said you had a good story. I had a good story. Oh, yes. If you're out there and you want to date me or you have a crush on me, you want you just tell me anyone, any future dater of mine, just tell me what you want. Tell me what you're thinking, because I cannot read social cues when it comes to dating. Apparently, you know, Diana, Diana makes. No. Okay. So my friend Diana. This is funny. You said you had a story. I am. I'm going to say it. Oh, okay. Yeah. Because it was funny. I have a story. Hello, if you would like to date me. Because I need a preface it because I think I missed on an opportunity of dating someone that I was actually interested in because I didn't say anything and they didn't say anything. but then when we stopped being friends they were like they told the the other person they were dating at the time who happened to be my college friend that I broke his heart and I didn't even know this so then I was telling my friend Diana the story and she was like well would you do romantic things and I was like like what she goes would you hold his hand and I was like oh yeah but I can't I like I'll do that with any of my friends and she goes you don't do that with friends You don't hold their hand. You don't cuddle with friends. And I was like, oh, OK, that makes sense. Anyway, this was like five or six years. I feel like six years ago. Sure. Maybe you don't cuddle with friends, but then maybe you do cuddle with some friends. No, because if you know me, you know I don't like being touched. Well, this is funny. Why didn't you say anything? Because it was like six years ago and I still I was very insecure. OK. Internally. But then him saying you broke his heart, I think is a little crazy. if that person didn't say how they were feeling. Then I dodged a red flag. I think you did. And now I know, and you do too. So if you want to date me, just tell me. Just tell Godoy. What's the worst date you've ever been on? The worst date I've ever been on. Oh my God. It was my worst date, but I'm sure it was their best. I took them. so while I was in college I was working um in luxury retail and one of my clients was the um regional manager or like the the main person at um the Huntley Hotel where's the Huntley Hotel it's um in Santa Monica okay and it's like well it was their like premier hotel like because it was the highest one you got the best views of all of LA um and their penthouse they have a really good restaurant. She was like, come over whenever you want. So I was on this date with this guy, and I was like, let's go to the Hunley Hotel. So they brought us caviar and all this shit. And then he gave me oral chlamydia from kissing. He didn't even put out. That's devastating. Yeah. Oh, and then I've never had oral chlamydia, knock on wood. what happened do you get like sores on your mouth like what is oral chlamydia no I had like throat like have you ever had strep if I remember correctly it was like that but I also can't remember correctly because it was like when I was 18 19 it's only a year ago right just a year ago how devastating it's actually in the future that's awful I mean that is funny because it is probably the best date he went on. He had a delicious meal, a very expensive meal. Compt? Compt. That's nice. I didn't pay shit. That's nice. Then he said, oh, better thank you. And then he left a gift right down your throat. Oh, I have a fun sex story. But that's not what this podcast is about. It is. Before we get to your sex story, let's take a break. we hear a lot of different deal breakers when it comes to dating but there is one deal breaker we should have for our country lawmakers trying to interfere with our personal health decisions planned parenthood believes we should have access to care and the freedom to make decisions about our health and futures whether you need sti testing and treatment birth control gender affirming care, abortion or sex education. Planned Parenthood is here for you and for all of us. But right now, politicians are trying to block access to essential care. They're actively trying to deny people birth control and they're pushing abstinence only until marriage programs, which is nasty. They want to pull the strings on our bodies and our futures. This puts millions of people at risk of losing access to care, especially black and Latino people, people in rural areas and people with low incomes. Planned Parenthood believes health care is a human right that everyone deserves. They're fighting every day to build a future where everyone can get the care they need no matter who they are or where they live Supporters like you power this work Donate to support Planned Parenthood now at plannedparenthood slash defend Here something we don talk about enough Eating disorders are way more common than you think and they don always look the way people expect Sometimes it looks like constant dieting. Sometimes it's feeling ashamed about how you eat. Sometimes it's about being super rigid about exercising or let food rules run your whole day. And sometimes it is just that voice in your head that never lets you feel okay in your body. That voice, you don't have to keep living with it. If you're ready for things to feel different, meet Equip. Equip is a virtual eating disorder treatment program that meets you exactly where you are, whether you're juggling work, dating, family drama, or just the general chaos of being a human. You get a full team of experts, a therapist, a dietician, a medical provider, and a mentor with lived experience. They understand what it's like to navigate recovery while still actually trying to live your life. And it's covered by most insurance plans. And there's no wait list. You can start ASAP. So if you've been thinking, huh, maybe I should get some help. This is your sign. Visit equip.health.date.me to learn more. That's equip.health.date.me. Valentine's Day is coming up. And whether you have a boo or your own boo, you deserve to be comfortable. That's why I got to tell you about Cozy Earth. Their pajamas are the sleepwear upgrade you will love slipping into. night after night. They are lightweight and sleep cooler than cotton. You won't wake up sweating. You just wake up feeling cute. And right now is the perfect time to grab a set because they're having a massive BOGO sale. So grab yourself a pair and give the free pair to your best friend, your mommy, or keep them for yourself. I won't judge. Plus, they have a hundred night sleep trial and a 10-year warranty. These viral PJs are so good. They sold out during the holidays. And now they're back with an exclusive deal only available January 25th to February 8th. Head to CozyEarth.com and use my code DATEMEBOGO to get these PJs for you and someone you love. And if you get a post-purchase survey, be sure that you mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here. Celebrate everyday love with comfort that makes the little moments count. Tell me your sex story. One time I hooked up with this guy and he had a Theragun. but he had attachments to use but not in the rear but in the front I've never experienced that and it was so good during the pandemic I was masturbating with a Theragun because I was like I gotta leave the house I need excitement I need something I need to feel something then I felt like that meme where it's like a like a jackhammering lady or whatever because I was truly just jack hammering my pussy every night and it felt good it felt so good I was like this is for me Godoy, I have a question for you. Yes. So the first time you had sex was in your junior year of high school with your boyfriend. And your boyfriend said to not eat beforehand. But also, y'all didn't use lube. Yes. I believe he was a bottom. I think he wanted to top and used me as bait. yes um also it was ginormous oh from what i remember at the time of where you where you got that information it's probably the biggest i had done to date but now i'm now you've seen bigger and better i love taking a challenge but that's not a requirement to date me have you ever seen a dick and been like, whoa, no. Yes. Andrew. No one's going to know who this is. I know, but it's just very funny that you were like, I'll say the name. Andrew. He's Australian and he was, he only would come to LA once a year on a business trip. He was my client at the luxury place and his dick was huge. I love that you're looking around trying to find a comparison. It's nothing in here is comparable to that. What about the microphone? Okay, that's too wide. Oh, okay. But even the length of that's because this is what this is like eight inches. Maybe. Okay. I can tell because I know my arm, my finger width spanned is seven inches. And I use it for sewing. I do. But I need to measure things. I'll be like, oh, that's like seven inches. And I also use it to measure dick. And it was a two-hander. Ooh, wait. And he was like, you're not going to be able to take it. And I went, okay, you're right. But now, Andrew, you're still out there. I bet I could. You've loosened up. You've done the work on yourself. I've done the work. Yes, he didn't use lube. And it was a journey because a lot of my early 20s, mid-20s, I didn't really hook up with people. because I was scared. Sure, I get that. And then I discovered coconut oil. Oh. Is the best lube ever. Oh. And if, I don't know if this is for people with vaginas. Sure, I don't think so. But for me, actually the person that introduced me to it was my best friend and she's a woman. Oh, then. With a vagina. Okay, then I take it back. Maybe it's good for the vaginas. And let me tell you, first of all. Yeah? There's a lot of, there's a lot of benefits. The first one is it's antimicrobial. Oh. I believe. Don't quote me on that. I think it is. Mm-hmm. So, like, if you rip something. It heals it right up. It, like, kind of helps it, you know? Mm-hmm. It soothes it. Also, it's not like, you know, like lube. You need to add a lot more after because it keeps running. Well, not with coconut oil. Oh. It also, also. Also. If you put it on a dick. Uh-huh. It smells good. It smells good. if it's a dirty dick, you get like, it kind of exfoliates it. So you're like, oh, we should go to the shower. Yeah, it's happened. I've witnessed that in person and I was like, we should jump in. I love shower sex. I don't. And then third, when it's in your butt. I'm dying at, I'm still doing this. Take a shower and wash your dirty dick. Yeah. Oh, we're, yeah. We're doing the work. If you're there and I did the work to prepare for you to come over, we're doing it. Because I'm very selective. Okay. And the last one. You're doing it. Boom. You pull out because let's be real. You don't probably want to do that anymore. You can put it in your mouth. And it does not taste like lube. Because it's antimicrobial. Antimicrobial. antimicrobial antimicrobial antimicrobial no you don't know how to speak Spanish you don't know how to speak English oh my god who taught you how to sew I love this question because it's not just one thing okay so the person that actually taught me how to like sit behind the sewing machine and like thread it and like understand it was my aunt and I used to do a lot of things as a kid and be like mom I want to do this like I was in the I was a police cadet for one weekend and I said no what is a police cadet entail so like they're like junior police do you arrest people no you just kind of like go it's like juvie almost but I don't know why the fuck I wanted to do it oh no no because they gave out a scholarship at the end of completion for college and i was like oh i'm going to college i can take i can get the scholarship but only police officer i only did that for a little bit so i had a reputation of doing things and not actually doing it um and when i said i wanted to learn how to sew my mom was like yeah yeah whatever go ask your tia and i went to my tia and she kind of taught me the basis um basics and um i grasped it on really quickly so i was like mom i got this i'm really good i need a sewing machine and she said i don't got money for one that's really expensive so then Becky G's grandma. You know Becky G? So Becky G and I went to the same elementary school. And we danced in the same Mexican flucorico group. And then like the rest is history. You were just like, I sew now? Well, then I went to school at a rec center in Torrance because I'm from LA. Yes. So I went to a rec center in Torrance where they had like patterning classes and sewing classes and those big industrial machines. And I picked it up so quickly. I was like, yeah, I got this. And that was when I was like 15, 16. Yeah. Yeah. And then I went to. So you've been sewing for only four years? Girl, like two. What's wrong with you? I've been sewing for almost 16 years now. I just say over 15. Yeah. I mean, who cares? Why date ourselves? I don't know how old I am. I'm 72. No, you don't look a day over 71. Thank you. I went to the dentist and they were like, what year were you born? And on the little sheet. And then they were like, how old are you? And I was like, why do I have to do the work? Yeah, you do the work. You have the year. You work on this. So I just left it blank. And then the lady called me up and was like, you missed that one. And I was like, okay, I guess I'll do the math. And then I had to do the math because I simply couldn't remember. Your age. Yeah. Yeah, and that's fair. Thank you. Because remembering things is really hard. It's so hard. I love teeth. Why? Because they're so great. You do have good teeth. They're very white. Thank you. It's the lighting here. I also put a whitening stream before coming. But why did you go to the dentist? Okay, so I might have talked about it on this podcast. In 2023, I finally went to the dentist because I cracked a tooth. And I hadn't been to the dentist since my mummy died in 2002. So like 20 years I hadn't been to the dentist or something crazy like that. Holy shit. So I was like, guess I gotta go. So I go. And then I had to, I ended up having to have, I went to one dentist, didn't like them, went to another dentist, had a root canal and like crowns put on. And they didn't, and then I had wisdom teeth removed and they didn't put me under. So I didn't feel it because I had local anesthesia. And I kept being like, that hurts, that hurts. And then finally another dentist came in. She's like, oh, you have an extra nerve. So then I had to like, give me more, even though they were like, it shouldn't hurt. And I was like, but it does. anyway they like took my teeth they root canaled me and then I was like when I went back I was like my mouth really hurts and they were like impossible we took the nerves out and I was like okay but I'm telling you that my mouth hurts and then they were like you're fine and I was like okay so my mouth has just kind of hurt since 2023 and then the nice man in my life was like I think you should go to the dentist when's the last time you went he was like I think tooth health is really important because I said I hadn't been in a while. He was like, well, how long? And I was like, I don't know. And then he was like, here, go to my dentist. I'm so mad for you. I'm so mad for you. Well, it gets worse. So he sends me his dentist. I copied it. I think I opened it in Google Maps. And then you know how sometimes if you touch the map, it goes to somewhere else. So I guess I touched it. This is the only explanation for it. And sent that to my assistant to be like, do you mind just setting up an appointment? She was like, sure. so I go to the dentist I tell that nice man I was like your dentist is really mean he told me that like I needed to like man up because I kept I was like kind of tearing up and I was it was just a cleaning but I I just hold a lot of trauma with my mouth open laying down with someone in my mouth same and he would shut up and then that nice man in my life was like I don't go to a man dentist or male dentist I go to a woman and I was like huh and I was like the alleyway to the stairs was kind of creepy he's like there are no stairs so I went to the wrong dentist. Oh, no. So then when I finally go to the right dentist, it's a lovely lady. And I tell her that, like, I have a fear of the dentist. And she's like, OK, I'll walk you through this. I said, all right. And she was being really kind, really nice. They do x-rays. And then before I leave, she was like, hey, I don't want to alarm you. But the people who did your root canal did it incorrectly. And they also left a piece of an instrument in your mouth. And now there's an infection and you need that tooth removed. But I'm going to send you for a second opinion just to make sure that that's correct. And I was like, huh? And then I just started crying. She's like, hey, but you're doing really good and we're going to get it fixed. And I was like, okay. And then I was like, so I'm not crazy. I've been in pain since 2023, even though these people said you're not in pain. Went and got a second opinion. And this is a guy who walked in and went, yep, that's an instrument in your mouth. That tooth's got to go. And I was like, okay. And then I go to the surgeon and the surgeon's like, yeah, they did leave something in your mouth. And I was like, and you can see it on the x-ray. Like on the x-ray, you're like, that's tooth. That's different than everything else on the tooth x-ray. And my whole thing is like someone who's, and then I didn't know if your dentist is not a specialist in root canals, you need to find a specialist. And sometimes they'll just say that they can do it, but they're not a specialist in it. So like the lady who's doing my tooth extraction, she's like, yeah, I can, you know, I extract teeth all day and I yes I can do a root canal but on a back molar I think that's what it was on she's like but I haven't done one since school so I'm not gonna do one I'd refer you to someone who does them and I was like that's crazy I didn't know that I think it should be general knowledge that like if you need a special thing you should be going to a I didn't did you know that no in that Mars did you know that oh no yeah so if before you've dental work done get a second opinion Oh, my goodness. I'm sorry. Yeah. So that's what I'm. So I'm getting my tooth taken out on the 26th. And then a new root canal. Maybe. We're not jumping out. Well, they don't know. They were like, we'll see how the tooth next to it reacts because that has a little bit of pain. And they're like, it might just be reacting, like feeling the pain from the nerve in the back tooth. So we'll fucking see. Three years. Yeah. And is that other dentistry so low modern dentistry in Hollywood No don say it yet Can you sue them That crazy Yes you can buy another home You can buy another home I don know I mean, I don't know how to like go about. Malpractice. But like, what do I get? A personal injury lawyer? Like, how do you do that? You know what? We're going to consult with our lawyer team that I don't have. We're going to consult with the lawyer team. Isn't that crazy? That's insane. Oh my God. But also, if they just take out your tooth and you don't have a tooth, you'll be fine, too. No, so I'm going to get an implant because my face has not been... So it's slightly... You can't see it, but I'm in my body so I can feel it. My face has been slightly puffy for three years, just like right here. And speaking is... It's been weird for three years. So I'm getting an implant. And then they do a bone graft, which is cow bone and cadaver bone. I'm gonna have the bones of a dead person in me imagine I get haunted or possessed and I'm like but it's just your mouth you're doing your stand up and it's just someone else doing their set they give me the bones of a dead stand up who never made it and he's like oh this is the time I'm like what you just break into like a southern accent every now and then hi y'all I don't have a tooth on my lower side which you really can't tell no you can't tell at all I got braces when I was like 14 or 15 and they were like you still have a like baby tooth and I said yeah I'm still young so they just took it out they're like it's never gonna grow we can either just take it out or it's just gonna honestly kind of rot in your mouth so they took it out and then I got braces and they're like it's too small of a gap to really put a tooth in there. It's going to be really tiny. But you can't see it, and it doesn't make me feel any less than. Well. The only reason why I want to get the implant is because I want my face to feel, and maybe it will never feel normal again, but I'm like, this might be the shot, the chance I have for it to just feel how it felt. At least without pain. Yes. When you got your wisdom teeth removed, did they put you under? No. Girl. No, they didn't. Here's another fun story. So they give you little glasses. So when you're laying down, the glasses show you like a TV that's right there. So I was like watching Shrek and I could just feel and like hear. And then when you're getting a root canal, it's just like drilling in. It's a loud drill into your fucking teeth. And then the next time I came in, they were like, you didn't tell us you hosted Nailed It. Our patients watch that all the time. And suddenly they had Xanax to give me because I was like I couldn't open my mouth because I was traumatized. And I was like, so if I like walked in, I was like, don't you know who I am? You would have treated me better. Is this the place that we're going to sue? Glow Modern Dentistry in Hollywood. We're going to sue you. I'm piggybacking. Is this like a lawsuit? Coat tell writing. Yes. And I love it. This is it's so funny. Every year I have a grudge against something. So this is my grudge for 2026. My grudge last year was with Air Bungie Fitness Burbank. Don't like them. What's Air Bungie? Air Bungie, it's where you, it looks like fun. They strap you up and then it's like resistance because you're on bungee cords. And then you do like a workout on that, like based on that. I know what you're talking about. You do? Because I watch your podcast. Oh. Yeah. You know, I have a lot of, I don't have downtime, but I do have a lot of TV time. Because when I'm sewing, you've seen my studio. Yeah. There's a TV propped up on the opposite side. Like where... The table's here. Where is it? Towards the door. Oh, okay. It's actually just like this. So it's where the door and the sewing machine face the TV. So I watch a lot of TV. And I like... Okay, I don't watch it because then your seams would be all crooked. But I listen to a lot of TV. So I put on all of my friends' podcasts to listen to them. That's sweet. That's how I found out that you're a Virgo. I am a Virgo. What are you? No, I'm going to answer you with the question. Is there room for two Virgos? There's room for two Virgos. When's your birthday? August 24th. Oh, my God. Mine's the 29th. I know. And I think Trixie's like the 28th or something like that. Yes. It's close to mine because every couple of years I'll get an invite to her party the day of or the day before. And I'm like, ma'am. Very Virgo. Ma'am. Wait. Let's take a break. If you're looking for your next great listen, this one comes from visionary creator Kenya Barris, the mind behind Black-ish called Big Age. And it is a hilarious, heartwarming, audible original comedy about love, aging, and finding your way in life's next chapter. The cast alone is enough reason to listen. Big Age stars absolute comedy legends Jennifer Lewis, Cedric the Entertainer, and Niecy Nash Betts. The story follows a recently retired couple, Dot and Butch Watts. They make a reluctant relocation to their new Floridian home, Sunset Gardens. Now, you might expect a senior community to be quiet, but this place is anything but relaxing. Embarrassed as world, Dot and Butch encounter a parade of unforgettable personalities who push their 50-year marriage to the limit. They're dealing with spiritually possessed neighbors, pesky, pill-pushing couples, and a ferociously competitive character known as the Stevenator. Plus, there's plenty of drama, like Butch's flirtatious ex-flame Ethel, played by Niecy Nash Betts. Through a blend of outrageous comedy and touching revelations, Big Age explores what it means to grow older without growing old at heart. Listen to Kenya Barris' new laugh-out-loud, audible original comedy, Big Age. Big Age. Age does funny things. Go to audible.com slash big age series to start listening today. Support for this podcast is brought to you by Chamberlain University. Okay, let's talk about healthcare for a second. It's not just a job. It is a whole calling. It takes a special kind of person to do it. But I think a lot of us get stuck in that like dreaming phase. And if you're sitting there thinking, I really want to be a nurse, or I really want to take my nursing career to the next level, but you're scared to make the jump. Stop sitting on that feeling. You need the right people in your corner. And it starts with Chamberlain University. They have been preparing healthcare professionals for over 135 years. As the nation's largest nursing school, they actually have the resources to support you. And look, they know you have a life outside of school. That's why they have fully flexible options, whether you need online classes, hybrid learning, or evening and weekend schedules. 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So you're not paying for random brand markup. You're just paying for high quality clothing. Everything is built to hold up season after season from the stitching to the fabrics. And I got this wonderful Mongolian cashmere sweater. It's very cute. It is chocolate brown. And when I wear it, I sometimes look naked. And then people have to look twice. And I go, it's a sweater. Don't worry about it. So refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Go to Quince.com slash Date Me for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Date Me to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash Date Me. Okay, what kind of relationship do you want to manifest? Ooh, this is a great question because I was just talking to my therapist about this. Fun fact, I've been going to therapy for five years. And I've been on Wellbutrin. Ooh, I was on Wellbutrin for a week, but it made me want to quit smoking cigarettes. So I said no Wellbutrin for me. Isn't that crazy? Do you still smoke? You don't smoke cigarettes. Oh, I love them. Do you still smoke? Yeah. That's why your tooth is like that. I can't believe I'm being victim blamed in my own home my god it's why I cough so much really? mhm you also I can't tell that you smoke cigarettes I love them which means you're really good at robbing a bank with well I hide it if I smoke I do hand sanitizer I have perfume in my car so I perfume myself although I went to the doctor the other day and she was like open your mouth and I was like ah and then she like smelled my hair and I went and she went do you smoke and I was like yes and she was like do I know that and I was like I don't know what you know I simply don't and then she went through her eye pen and she was like no no I know you smoke I don't like that you smoke and I was like alright lady let me be my body my choice lady also that's not why your tooth has anything I was just I made a cheap joke at your expense and I apologize. But the person that I'm manifesting. I made a cheap joke at your expense and I'm so sorry. Anywho. Okay. Who are you manifesting? I was just going through this with my therapist and I was like, I don't know because I don't know. But he goes, list all the qualities you didn't like in someone. Oh. And then use positive things to decide what you are looking for. So I do want someone that knows how to communicate very well. Because obviously needed. And I want someone that laughs at my jokes. Because I know that I'm funny, but I'm not funny all the time. A lot of it is workshopped. Also, you need to love Coco. Coco is my dog. And she's now what you consider a senior dog. And she's very sweet. She's very sweet. So if you don't like her, red flag. Yeah, that is a red flag. So you have to love my child. Also, you... This is a big one. And it sounds a little, like, elitist almost. You need to be cool with the fact that my friends are famous. And I'm only saying that from experience. And you probably, like, you and your friends are famous. so you get this. Yes, and it is a wild thing that I never thought of, if you will. I've been on dates with men where somebody would ask me for a picture and then the rest of the night would be weird. And I'd be like, well, I mean, if you come to a party, there'll be people that you know. I don't know. And then the nice man in my life, he's very cool about things. See, I meet the nice man in your life. And it's very nice that he's very, very chill and sometimes we'll be like hey that person what do I know them from and I'm like oh this and he'll go oh okay you're like it's John Cena and yes John Cena was at my birthday party and everyone loved it he wrestled everybody oh he could wrestle me so cool they need to be cool yes because it's just like like you're a very special person um also i want you to be into things that i'm into but not too much because i love game nights so have games like i love if you play board games or just have game nights great but you cannot be friend my friends no no no what do you mean you can't befriend my friends i have a rule and it's because of my own lesson in life. I can't be friends with my friends' partners unless I was friends with them beforehand. For example, a great example is actually Monet and Andy. So Monet and I were friends before her and Andy started dating. Yes. And Andy and I were friends before Monet and him started dating. So when they got together, obviously I had to be friends with Monet. Mm-hmm. Kidding. I'm friends with both of them. And that's the only exception. No, you chose. I chose the dog potato No like that's my only exception And I think it's the same thing if I'm in a relationship You can be friendly to my friends Yes But I don't want to see you hanging out with my friends Yes I do think that's like weird Like a weird overstepping Or it's like if Yeah I'm not going to hang out with that nice man's friends without him Yeah That feels crazy It's weird Unless they were already friends beforehand You know Yes I think that's fine Like if I meet one of your friends, Elable Bachelor, and we hit it off and we start dating, it's not weird for you guys to hang out. That's fine. Yeah. But if you were to meet my partner after, actually, I'd be like, you can hang out with Nicole. I don't give a shit. What I really mean is love me for who I am. And not you for who your friends are. Thank you. You're welcome. Because that's happened. Really? We were like, we were hanging out with Susie and Mae. And I was like, yeah, we were, but shut the fuck up. Like, what are you doing? I have a friend who pretty successful who dated a man like 10 15 years ago still brings up the fact that they dated 10 15 years ago present day And it's like, you gotta move on. Stop being fucking weird. Also, if that's your hook between the last 15 years, then you're not doing something right. No, you gotta start fucking other famous people. Yeah, not a famous fucker. What are other red flags for you? Other green flags. Okay, what are other green flags? They'll turn into red flags. Other green flags. You don't need to be close to your family. You just need to understand why you are or aren't close to them. Ooh. Because there's a breakdown in that. I don't think I've ever heard that on this podcast. Oh, well. That's good. I'm close to my family. But I'm not really close to part of my family. So I'm close to my mom and my siblings. You're like immediate family. And I'm close to my dad, but I'm not really close to my dad. And I know why, you know? And I want to share that because a lot of his clients are actually like people that watch my shit. Okay. But my dad is a great father. It's just certain characteristics, you know? So understand why you do or don't fuck with your family. And then do that work. Also, if you do the work. Yeah, go to therapy. Go to therapy and know why you're a good person and know why you're a shitty person. Know your triggers. and if you don't know any of that, be willing to learn. Because I know my triggers, but I also know triggers that are probably going to come up in the future that I haven't experienced yet. See, I don't know that shit. I just know that certain things, I have rules that I've made up that I haven't told anybody and when they break those rules, boy, I'm mad. Yeah, then that's fair too. That's crazy, but at least I know. I know why I'm getting upset. I'm like, oh, you broke a rule I made up that I didn't tell you that's in my head. I have to like take a walk and calm down and then explain to you why I'm upset. Yeah. And see, I learned that because I was that person that would get upset over shit and not even know why I was upset. So that has turned into my green red flag. Green flag is knowing yourself because of me. Red flag. OK, I want to get into red flags. That was your question. And I don't want to invalidate your questions. Invalidate all you want. Oh, I know you're a car person. And you love cars. Love cars. I hate when people are like, like in dating, they're like, you drive a Nissan? Yeah, bitch. Guess what? I also live by myself. Like, that's really hard to do in L.A. It is. So, yeah, I'm going to fucking drive a Nissan. But when you say it, a Nissan's a great car. What is it, a Sentra? Yeah. That's a great car. Very reliable. And driving in, Mars was a witness. Not a witness because I just told Mars. I hit the gate. So I'm not going to be driving a fucking Porsche hitting the gate. You know? Yes, because you know yourself. Thank you. Yeah, like don't drive an expensive car if you're going to be hitting things all the time. I used to drive a Mini Cooper, which is the most expensive car I've owned. Mini Coopers are very, very expensive for the resale value. And I drove off a curb. And guess what? Mini Coopers are really low to the ground. So I got stuck. Wait, what do you mean you drove off a curb? So I was exiting the gas station and I was with my good friend. And this gas station, the ramp was like big, but I guess I drove too far right. Uh-huh. Where I like hit it. And then you were just stuck. And I was stuck. And I was like, what the fuck? So I had to like, because it was kind of in a tilt. I had to like, it was scraping the bottom of it. Anyway, that's why I don't have expensive cars. and that's why if you want to date me just know that I don't give a shit about cars I actually care how clean your house is not where you work but like your bathroom and your kitchen if you have pets like do you sweep and if you don't like doing those things hire someone to do it there's apps for that now there's people that like doing that I understand depression because I go through it And if your house is a mess because of that, it's okay. Just when you snap back to it. You gotta clean. You gotta clean. I could never date somebody who owned a cat and then didn't clean. Because I have a dust allergy that has really been acting up. And I think it's because I cleaned out my closet and it was a little dusty. And then I went to a friend's house who had a cat. And I had a cut on my finger and my fingers swole up. And I was like, oh, my God. And then it happened again at that house. And then I went to another friend's house that seemed a little cleaner. They also had a cat. Nothing happened except for, like, sniffles. And I was like, oh, my God. Cat. So if I have, like, an open cut, visit a cat, and the house is dirty, like, I'm going to have an allergic reaction. Well. So clean your houses. Especially if. You have a cat. Yeah. And I'm coming. But also one of those hairless cats that have hair. You drag it, Monet. Only, only, well, her house is very clean. Her house is very, very, very clean. Spotless. And you never find dust in her house. It's rich. Rich. She has one of those cool microwaves, too, that comes out of the bottom. That is a rich feature. It is rich. I do not have that. How did you get into drag? Oh. see I've been going to drag shows since I was like five or six so in Mexico we have celebrity impersonation and they used to do it at this restaurant where I lived by by where I lived wait you lived in Mexico? no no no here in LA and I would be like oh you guys it's Friday we should go out to this restaurant and they'd be like okay so my whole family would go and my dad and my mom and we would sit there and they would have a drag show and I loved it and I grew up a dancer and then I sewed and then I went to fashion school. But before that, my older sister and I would sit down and watch Drag Race seasons two and on. You didn't watch season one? We didn't have cable back then. Ah. Yeah. There's a will, there's a way. I was watching on LogoTV.com. Well, I didn't know about it. Ah, I see. Yeah, I was still closeted. I was actually in middle school, I think. But I was in high school and then I found out about Drag Race in high school. and then my older sister and I would watch it and because it was on cable I had to convince my mom to get the better deal and be like mom well you can watch your novelas earlier if you get this bundle but it's because logo was on it um and then I go to college and I meet my best friend who has now departed from this world and um he was like I do drag and I went let me see and he shows me a busted picture and I said I can do it better I so then I was like I watch drag race I grew up in dry up I can do this so then I got in drag on February 13 2013 and bitch I was busted do you have pictures yeah they're on my Instagram I think oh I'm gonna go comb your Instagram I can't wait to see them because you paint so nicely now like you're so polished and you look great Thank you. You know, time. Yeah. And bullying works. I'm normally the bully. I actually famously called Meatball ugly when she first started drag. That's only because Meatball's a bully. Meatball is a little bit of a bully. And if I feel like you're bullying me ever so slightly, I'm not going to I'm going to go, well, you're this, this, this, this and this. And you've seen it happen in person. I have. Yeah. Damn. Not to you. No, you just fart on me and cough right in my face. Well, then I was sick and I was scared that you were going to get sick. I'm pretty sure I did get like a touch of something like three days later. I was like, I don't feel good. And it's because Godoy coughed in my face. Also, do you remember the conversation we were having? We were talking about big dicks. We had several conversations. And one of which I was like, this shouldn't be happening here at this time. What was it? I'm not going to say it. It shouldn't have been happening at that time. that conversation. Yes. Well, then I went inside to make sure I couldn't hear anything. And I couldn't. I couldn't hear the conversation. It's so funny to have a conversation on a podcast about a conversation we shouldn't have and then talk about specifics that we did about this conversation we shouldn't have had. Yeah. We just got to make sure your surroundings are good. Yeah. And I made sure after the fact. But the conversation we were having before I coughed and farted on you, we were talking with Gio, our brand new favorite, well, my favorite person. Our Palm Springs daddy. Grandpa. Grandpa. Papa. Papa. And we were talking to him about like dicks. Because he's friends with like a lot of porn stars. So we were having just conversations about penises and one of our friend's husband's penis. Because he can't take it anymore. And I was like, I mean, he is hot and I'm here. I'll do it for you. So I offered myself and then I went. and then I went it was rather wild it was because it was such quick succession to be like I'll suck your dick I was like I don't well I farted because I was laughing and I tried to like see if no one heard it but I'm tight so it's loud you heard it here if you like the toy let him know also he tight and I have a fat ass do you? bubbly Is it natural? Yeah. I also have a natural big booty. I would be so sad if I woke up tomorrow with a flat ass. You know, that can't happen. Anything could happen. In this political climate? You're right. In this political climate, honey, you could wake up with a flat ass. Ice comes and takes your butt. Fuck. Also, fuck ice. Fuck ice. I like my martinis without ice is a shirt that I was given recently. It's true. It's just funny because I feel like a martini shouldn't have ice unless you're asking for it to have a floater of ice. See? No ice. See? No ice. Well, we've made it to the end. and I ask all of my guests this. I've missed it several times. Would you date me? Bring that Theragun over and we're a couple. Imagine I come for a craft night and I'm like, doing a different kind of craft tonight. And I'd be like, yes! Yeah! Of course, who wouldn't? Thank you, Godoy. You check off all the boxes. I forgot what all the green flags were, but you check them off. That's okay. somebody in the comments, write down those green flags and I'll not read it. Listen, that was tough. I was like, and then I'll read it and do something. And I was like, there's nothing I'll do. I don't read the comments. Sometimes people are mean. You know, I love when you guys get crafty in the comments. There's a craft to making mean comments really good. Well, sometimes, I'll never forget this mean comment that I got. I think it was a DM, but this person said, I had roach-like fingers that were probably dusted with Cheeto dust. And I was like, that's I mean, you if you just use your power for good, you could probably write poetry like that was it was such imagery. Also, I would lick them. Don't let no Cheeto puff dust go to waste. Well, do you have anything you want to promote? Do you have any shows coming up? Oh, my God, I do. Oh, so every Friday, I'm at 33 Tops in West Hollywood hosting Drag Bingo and the viewing party for RuPaul's Drag Race. Starting at 7 p.m. We have late night happy hour from 930 to close. and I'm hosting the Bad Bunny halftime show, a Super Bowl party at location to be determined. Well, we have the location, but at the time of this filming, we have not signed the contract, but we will have Jessica Wilde, April Carrion, King Phantom, and Ronnie Erotic hosted by me. That's fun. I love Jessica Wilde. That's it for this episode of Why Won't You Date Me? If you like it, you can subscribe. Subscribe. Subscribe. Am I saying that right? It sounds insane coming out of my mouth. What do you need to say? I'll say it for you. No. Subscribe. You can give me five stars on Apple Podcasts. And if you write me something nasty to why won't you date me podcast at gmail.com, I will read it. Please keep them just a little short. This one. Very short. But I'm happy you sent it. Hey, Nicole. Surprise. Come shot. I'm embarrassed. This was difficult as a gay man. Thank you. James Wilson. He slash they. Hey, James. I liked it. But does this mean you came on me? Maybe a cardboard cutout of you. Okay. There is a website called celebritycutouts.com where I bought a cardboard cutout of a problematic celebrity. I will not say who. Who? I won't say it on this podcast. I named Andrew. I cannot say it. But yeah, if you want to come on me, go to salarygoodass.com because they do have one of me. And if you do it, send me the video. Goodbye. That was a HeadGum podcast. Hey, I'm Gareth Reynolds and I have a new podcast on HeadGum called Next We Have. Now, this show is for people with short attention spans, which is everyone. I mean, you're probably trying to skip this ad right now, but don't. because you now legally have to listen to the show. That's how law works. Next we have is very simple. Each episode has three short segments. For instance, Lisa Gilroy and I write insane revenge Yelp reviews for callers who had bad experiences with a business. The Doughboys play a game called Meal or No Meal. And Steph Tollev and I go head-to-head on a thought-provoking game called Guess That Sound. The show is as dumb as it sounds, and we probably have more fun than we should. But it's a great time, and you should listen or watch new episodes of Next We Have every Thursday on YouTube or your favorite podcast app.