Swans on Ozempic: A Real Housewives of Rhode Island Recap

Welcome to the Undertone podcast where we talk about all things creepy. It wants to be heard. We're listening to 10 mysterious audio recordings from an anonymous email. Are you implying there's hidden messages in it? Let me play it back. In reverse. And it refuses to let go. Undertone, the number one horror from A24 in cinemas from the 10th of April. Book tickets now. Parenting's full of little challenges. Nappy Rash doesn't have to be one of them. Introducing Collief Nappy Care Spray, a clinically proven, hypoallergenic spray that protects your baby's delicate skin from day one. No thick creams, no rubbing, no mess. Just spray and go. Gentle enough for newborns and perfect for busy parents who want nappy changes to be quick and fuss-free. Help prevent Nappy Rash before it starts with Collief Nappy Care Spray, available now on Amazon. Try it today. This is an ad from BetterHelp. Some days, it feels like you're carrying something no one else can see. Stress, grief, responsibility. The kind of heaviness that doesn't show up in photos but follows you everywhere. You don't have to hold it alone. With BetterHelp, you can talk to someone who helps lighten what you've been carrying for far too long. Take the weight off. Start therapy anytime from anywhere online with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash random podcast for 10% off your first month of online therapy. Was very, very cheap. You said I was evil and not even children when like me. What? I don't think I said that to your face but I did feel it. Welcome back to another episode here at Everyone's Business But Mine, an episode the likes of which we have not seen because we have a new set of Housewives before us. Welcome to Rhode Island, y'all, the Ocean State. Man, these two episodes were bing-bang-bong. And I really was like going into this thinking, okay, maybe the reason why they're releasing two episodes in a week is because maybe we're a little bit sleepy. Maybe it's just gonna shake out better this way to just like a Thursday and a Sunday episode before officially doing Sunday weekly episodes. Um, wrong. We are truly like bats out of hell pretty much immediately. Thank God. Thank God. It's like, no, not everybody wants to work these days. You know what I mean? I feel like we have found ourselves an enclave of women who clearly have money, who are so insular that the trappings of fame aren't really on their radar. Like obviously these women want to be famous but like in their day-to-day lives, they don't really have access to fame. Like living in New York or even like in a bigger city, right? They're just so tiny. And so because of that, we have real relationships. We have people who don't really know how to play the reality television game. And I am so grateful because this is myth. Not one of these people really should be on television. And here we are. Mm-mm, yum yum, eat it up. Let's get into it. We're starting off obviously like we got to get a lay of the land, right? All 14 inches of Rhode Island. The huge homes, the perfectly manicured lawns. The smallest state with the biggest attitude where people look down on you if you're not from there. It's a whole thing. Our first girl, Alicia. I'm going to just say right off the bat, I was like, pfft, give it up to God as to whether or not I'm ever going to be able to discern any of these women from Dolores Catania, my biological mother. I was off book on these women probably by the time we were introduced to all of them. It was so easy. I was shocked. In tears almost. Alicia is our typical Italian girl walking around the kitchen, getting the things together. I need a wine. What kind of wine? Her husband asks. Billy? Any color. Red, white, I don't care. I love her already. She's got a daughter named Selena. Of course she does. Singing Deck the Halls as she's setting the table and Billy, her dad's like, why are you singing Deck the Halls? And Alicia has the memory of the last time she said the table was Christmas. So it was probably just like a Pavlovian response from her daughter or something. Alicia lets us know. Selena's my men and me. They're walking around doing the same thing. Spray and body spray and walking into it at the same time. She loves Britney Spears. I love Britney Spears. Billy owns a bunch of restaurants. She comes from a long line of bakery owners and restaurant tours. Her husband Billy's got a place, her crown jewel called Pizza Mama. She's got a picture of her up on the wall, of course. Alicia's big Italian family is comprised of six aunts who all live on Rhode Island. They show in the aunts driving the long 15 minute commute from Cranston to wherever the hell Alicia lives. Providence. Complaining. It's so far. You got to pack a lunch just to get there. Nikki, I would have been to your house four times and back by now. 15 minutes. Auntie Judy's in the second row of an SUV. Taking a quick swig out of whatever is in her flask before they all go into the house. Forgot about those go-pros, didn't we? So as the anti-brigade is pulling into the house, we're asking Billy a line of questions. Billy, this is a beautiful home, but when are you going to build one in Cranston? When are you going to get married? Are you going to get married here in the backyard? Alicia is like, no. Now, Alicia lets us know that she and Billy got engaged when she was seven months pregnant. It was a sweet little Selena who was now nine. So what's the hesitation, girl? I'm sure we're going to find out later. Alicia is our North Star. She knows everybody in the group. She's childhood besties with Liz. Liz drinks out of a silver chalice because of course in her confessionals. But our first real scene with Liz, she's in a black Versace bathrobe. She's got her cat on a leash. Walking up and down the dock that's in the back of her home. The cat's name is Ganji. Beautiful cat, by the way. Of course, Liz is married to a man named Jerry. Jerry is the king of cannabis in Rhode Island. He was the owners of one of the first dispensaries on the East Coast. So they're living very well. So if he's the king of cannabis, I guess I'm the queen of weed. Liz is wild. She has a little braid crown in her confessionals. She looks like she had a good dose of a tincture right before she hit that confessional. And maybe a couple hits of a vape. And I love her. I love her already. Am I leaping over the fact that they probably are conservative Trump voting dispensary owners? Yes, I am. We're gonna have to do a lot of blinders on with regard to these women's politics, I have to assume. I'm praying given the history of who typically gets arrested on small drug offenses and cannabis possession, then for it to largely when it's legalized be taken over by wealthy white people. You know, I'm hoping that at least we got one out of Liz and her family, but I have no hopes for the rest of them. Anyway, Liz tells Jerry, I'm about to meet up with Kelsey. I'm gonna take the dinghy to the restaurant so we can have drinks and talk. So Liz and Kelsey start talking about their fourth of July plans. Kelsey's man not gonna be in town, but she tells Liz, when he's not here, I am actually like, I love it. I feel very free. We had over at Kelsey's house, girl, 16,000 square feet. It's just her and the man sometimes. She says, I'm lucky to be a lady of leisure for 10 years now. She met this guy when she was 19. He's a super wealthy. He comes from a prominent Rhode Island family. This is afforded her the life of leisure and not having to work for the entirety of her 20s. She's now 30 or knocking on 30s door at least. And, you know, the sugar baby lifestyle is really not hitting the way it used to. She does thank this man that we don't see. We see several pictures of Kelsey and some guy with dark hair and the face just ripped out. There were several pictures. Couldn't see a thing. So she's living in this big ass house all alone. She's like grateful for the fact that he gave her the confidence and probably the coin to compete and eventually win Miss Rhode Island. But he's gone five months out of the year and Kelsey says my relationship is very unorthodox. And the mandates multiple people. And for the first half of the year, my boyfriend's in Miami and if he's in Miami, he's with his other girlfriend. But I just hit the big 3-0 and I'm now at a crossroads where I want more for myself. But in his age, big age, I know he's not going to change. I know he is who he is. So I either have to accept that or I leave. Kelsey tells Liz the good has to outweigh the bad in the relationship. And Liz is like, I get that, but you don't want to be a second fiddle, clearly. But Kelsey goes on and on about the plight of a sugar baby. I went into this thinking I'm going to be in this man's life for as long as he wants me to be in it. But I was never really in control of that. Liz says, but you were okay with that at the time. But now you're maturing. You know, the frontal lobe is good and tight in there. And things aren't looking so great in all that 16,000 square feet. The theater, the massage room, the, what did she say? They had 72 televisions in that home? Girl, whether she's in the living room on the phone with her man, like I'm bored. What are you doing? Okay, I'll talk to you later. Okay, bye. She's just walking around the house. There's a housekeeper who, a live in housekeeper, a girl at the very least clean up after yourself. That'll give you something to do. Some kind of sense of purpose. I'm not even like joking. Like, give yourself something. Oh, Kelsey is the definition of a gilded cage. Because my God, 10 years, no work during the hottest you'll ever be probably, but also likely the least confident. It's a weird time, but a fun time if we do it right. But then you're like, this is really like, I actually really can't do this forever. And I probably need to like figure this out now. Really, I think I could probably tether myself to this for the rest of my life because I've been doing it. In the back of my mind and my newly formed frontal lobe, I do know this probably isn't the thing for me. Because he's never really going to give me like actual love and attention, etc. But damn, I hit the lick of a lifetime like in the Hall of Fame of Sugar Babies. To be able to get a man who's like, reasonably aged, like obviously he's older, but it's not like yuck older. He's also, I'm assuming, good looking. Couldn't tell you. But in terms of like a sugar daddy, he's probably like the Jacob L.R.D. of Annie. I couldn't think of anybody else. He's cute, but he's probably like super hot in terms of a sugar daddy. And he's very clearly given her a very nice life that she hasn't had to ask for a thing. And their situation only seems to be getting improved. Like, girlies, you're not getting into a 16,000 square foot home. So shoot for the stars, just see what you get. But it's not going to be like this. And so I can only imagine, I think a lot of people will probably be like, but imagine the life that she's been living for 10 years now. How do you stare at the fact that your life is never going to be like this again? Like you jump off this boat, it's not happening. And nothing. Pray to God that she thought at some point during those 10 years, maybe just save a couple of thousand dollars a month. Just put it away and don't think about it. Like, let us pray in a high yield savings account, amen. So our next housewife is Joellen. I, you know, gotta keep it to me, but I did hear some things about Joellen. If you want to hear about Joellen's lore, head on over to the podcast Come Through Queen. They'll let you know the tea. So I came into this, you know, a little bit guarded with regard to Joellen. I didn't know what I was going to get with our girl. Joellen married to a dude named Gary. He was a hot senior in the high school. She was like the innocent friend. Now turns out Joellen's got a sister named Jen who was in Gary's grade at the time. They kind of had a thing, but Joellen was locked in on Gary and was like, oh, I'm going to get this man. So she made a permission. He put a ring on it. Here we are. Joellen, to me, looks exactly like Teresa and Bryn Whitfield in the face. It's like the lips. She's like Teresa on top and Bryn and the smile and the lips and the teeth. And much like both of them, Joellen admits that her mouth gets her in trouble all the time. Now, based in the first two episodes, Joellen seems to have a much better relationship with the truth, certainly than Bryn and kind of like Teresa too, but, you know, we'll see. She doesn't seem to back down from a bitch. And I like that for her. She says, if somebody tells me not to say something, I'm of course not going to say something. I'm just going to tell my best friend Kelsey and my other best friend Liz, and then I'm going to tell them not to say anything. But if they do, that's on them. Joellen works in aesthetic sales. So somebody goes into a med spa, a doctor's office, a plastic surgeon, sells the equipment, and then Joellen will come in and teach the doctors how to use the equipment. That's her thing. She says, I could not work, but I don't want to be beholden to Gary. I don't want him looking at the credit card bill and being like, what's on there? It's probably Botox. I don't want to get into it. Fair enough. So Alicia then goes to Rosie's house. They connected because the girl who does Alicia's Botox is best friends with Rosie, and they've been friends for about a year now. Rosie also used to be a television anchor for the local Rhode Island station. Rosie's been married to this guy named Rich. They've been married for about a year. Rich is a jack of all trades and heavy on the second part of that. He flips houses with his uncle. He's also a Sinatra singer, not impersonator. He doesn't like that. A Sinatra singer. Rosie and Alicia decide to go to the park. They decide, let's go get some bouncy shoes on, prance around for a little bit. And Alicia lets us know it's good for the lymphatic system. I don't know. My massage therapist does it. I don't know what it is, but in the jumping, in the feet. So after they're done bouncing, they go onto a bench. Rosie says, this is the most cardio I've done in a while. And Alicia's like, yeah, me too. I almost died. I always try to do Jane's Fonda. Jane's Fonda. Rosie decides she's going to have a picnic because she has basically quit her job down to the television station and is now doing like influencer video work on her own, AKA a TV show. I think it's just on YouTube. So, you know, we're real fast and loose on what TV means these days, but she's going to be doing a collab with a company who does posh picnic set ups. So why not shoot a little scene with them, get a free charcuterie board and have the girls come over. They can enjoy it. Rosie tells Alicia, I invited Joe Ellen, but I don't feel great about it. You think she's going to be cool? Now Rosie lets us know that as it stands, there's a click of four girls, Joe Ellen, Alicia, Kelsey and Liz. Rosie, desperate to try to get into that click, but all roads lead through Joe Ellen. And they're not getting along. So, Alicia says, I feel like Joe Ellen's really concerned about coming off like the villain. And so she's constantly trying to throw things on other people so that nobody's paying attention to what she's actually doing. Rosie then tells us in a confessional the reason why she's feeling some type of way about Joe Ellen is that the other day she invited Joe Ellen, invited people to come over to her house. Joe Ellen started getting nasty with Rosie, but she thought that Rosie couldn't hear her and she did. Then they start randomly talking about these rumors about Joe Ellen, which is that she and her husband are swingers. And so after talking shit, Rosie and Alicia look out at the water in front of them and they see a little bird and they try to figure out what that bird is. It's like a long stemmed bird. Was that an ostrich? No, it's like an anorexic swan. Look, it's like a swan on an ozempic. It was a heron. Aren't you guys from Rhode Island? What's going on here? So then we head over to Rosie's job that she turned into an event for the show. Joe Ellen does show up, but she lets us know I only showed up because Alicia wanted me to come. I'm not a big fan of Rosie. And then in a confessional, I discover that Joe Ellen might be the first actually funny housewife. Now hear me out. You're going to say, Kara, what the fuck are you talking about? We have Nini, we have Portia, we have a lot of like funny girls. But I think Joe Ellen is like the actual like Nini is unintentionally hilarious. We see the things that Nini has now gone on into fame for all the memes, all the clips. And like she was just being dead ass most of the time. And that's almost what makes it funnier. Portia is very funny. I will say that, but I think in terms of like, I don't know, there's something about Joe Ellen. There's something about Joe Ellen. There's something about her. Something about her gives like she's funny. Like she is actually very funny. Yeah, Joe Ellen pulls out that phone, goes to YouTube or whatever, looks at the title of Rosie's series and goes road tripping. And then she clicks play for like two seconds. It goes, that's enough. I just want to let you know that there are 215 views. Damn it. I just gave her another one. Welcome to the Undertone podcast where we talk about all things creepy. It wants to be heard. We're listening to 10 mysterious audio recordings from an anonymous email. Are you implying there's hidden messages in it? Let me play it back in reverse. And it refuses to let go. Undertone, the number one horror from A24 in cinemas from the 10th of April. Book tickets now. Parenting's full of little challenges. Nappy Rash doesn't have to be one of them. Introducing Collief Nappy Care Spray, a clinically proven, hypoallergenic spray that protects your baby's delicate skin from day one. No thick creams, no rubbing, no mess. Just spray and go. Gentle enough for newborns and perfect for busy parents who want nappy changes to be quick and fuss-free. Help prevent Nappy Rash before it starts with Collief Nappy Care Spray, available now on Amazon. Try it today. This is an ad from BetterHelp. Some days it feels like you're carrying something no one else can see. Stress, grief, responsibility. The kind of heaviness that doesn't show up in photos but follows you everywhere. You don't have to hold it alone. With BetterHelp, you can talk to someone who helps lighten what you've been carrying for far too long. Take the weight off. Start therapy anytime from anywhere online with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash random podcast for 10% off your first month of online therapy. You got me, girl. At this point, we then meet or re-meet, depending on where you are in Bachelors Nation, Ashley I, Ikeneti. Now, I just dropped a Patreon episode because I, not a Bachelors Nation girlie, didn't really know Ashley. Like, I knew her name. I knew about Ashley and Jared. Like, I'd heard them. But there's a 44-minute YouTube video in which they talk about their journey through their relationship from, like, the years that he led her on, in my opinion, to finally she was able to get him. It is a most self-indulgent but also exploitative and exposing thing in terms of what I feel like their relationship dynamic is to me. If you wanted to know more about Ashley, I would encourage you to watch the video. At the very least, it's on YouTube. And head on over to Patreon where I recap it. It was a fun little chat. But anyway, Ashley tells us on the show she was hit by this love at first sight thing with Jared and it just turned out to be true. Ashley says, though, six years into their marriage as they are now, you know, they're sort of in the real life part of the fairy tale and people are always saying, oh, your love is so inspiring, but you know, they're also, you know, sitting on the couch, just scrolling their phones, not talking to each other. Real life. So Ashley tells the girls she's originally from Virginia, but they moved to Rhode Island like four years ago. Rhode Island's super tight knit. She's really not kind of gotten in there in terms of finding a friend group. And Alicia's like, yeah, you know, if they didn't see you in kindergarten, it's a problem. So at this picnic, we have Ashley, Jo Ellen, Rosie, and Alicia. But all the girls start talking about Kelsey and Jo Ellen just says she's going through a lot right now. She's just, you know, kind of in between what she wants in her future. They're like, well, what do you mean by that? And Jo Ellen's like, I don't know, you know, she's 31 and I don't know. She's a doll though. So she keeps it very demure. Doesn't really say anything. Then they decide to play a little game of never have I ever. Ashley says usually she's the winner of this because if y'all didn't know Ashley, I part of her Bachelorette lore or just general life lore is that she was a virgin, like a late in life virgin. So the first one is never have I ever done but stuff. Rosie says like, yeah, I like it with guys with skinny weeners. Alicia then says, if anybody ever touched my butt, I would actually get a good out and kill them. So we move up to the next one, never have I ever had a threesome. Jo Ellen puts a finger down. Now remember Jo Ellen has these allegations that she and her husband Gary are swimmers. Rosie says never have I ever been a polygamous. Like, for example, if you had like a boyfriend here and a boyfriend somewhere else and the boyfriend had a girlfriend there and a girlfriend somewhere else. I thought Kelsey was one. Her boyfriend has a girlfriend of Florida, right? Now Jo Ellen's like, I don't know. You should ask her that. Now Rosie says, well, I don't know. There's just so many rumors swirling. And Jo Ellen says, there are rumors about everybody. We all have rumors. And then Jo Ellen says in a confessional, see, this is what bothers me about Rosie. She's constantly talking shit about me and Kelsey and I would call her and be like, listen, before I embarrass you in public, do you want to admit anything? And then she'd be like, oh, well, this person said this and I only said this because another person said that and like it's always an excuse with Rosie. Well, Lisa then kind of lets it slip. Kind of. I don't know. Put a pin in that that Kelsey at during the holidays is probably very happy because she gets two times the presence. And Rosie is like, well, what do you mean by that? I thought her boyfriend had another girlfriend. But are you saying that she's got another boyfriend too? Jo Ellen tells Rosie again, if you got a question about Kelsey, ask her, you're constantly talking shit. And I don't love it. Rosie's trying to act all innocent in a confessional by saying everybody knows I'm a nosy person. No, see, Rosie, I have questions and then I have follow up questions. I used to be a reporter. Rosie then tells Jo Ellen, it's just funny that you say that because I actually heard that you're talking shit about me. Jo Ellen says that's not true at all. I heard you were talking shit about me to Kelsey. You were talking shit about the wine I brought Jo Ellen. Jo Ellen says, well, the wine was very, very cheap. Rosie then says, well, I also heard that you said I was evil and that even children wouldn't like me. Jo Ellen says, I don't think I did say that, but I do feel that way. Incredible. Rosie then starts popping off at Jo Ellen. Well, if you don't like what I'm doing, then you don't have to talk shit about it. You don't even have to be here. And Jo Ellen's like, you know what, shut the fuck up. Okay. You out of your mind. Alicia tells us the beauty of Jo Ellen is that she can switch up real quick and she knows something and she'll say it and she'll mean it. Rosie starts crying because Jo Ellen got her. Jo Ellen telling somebody to shut the fuck up. Telling the host s to shut the fuck up. Incredible work. The beauty of Jo Ellen, mind you, she barely got invited in the first place and here's the other thing. Jo Ellen's actually that wrong. So sorry, Rosie. Rosie starts crying about how mean Jo Ellen is and how she's trying to be a good person. But Jo Ellen's the one trying to turn people against her. And to be fair, Jo Ellen does stop and she's like, okay, that's not my intention. Ashley's like, how about we all just start fresh? Alicia tells everybody, put your hands in. Everybody put their hands in at the table. Rosie, put your hand on top. Go ahead. Jo Ellen says, I just want to start over. You guys are going to have a Fourth of July party, Rosie. You're more than welcome to come. I just want to get past the bullshit. So after this, we head over with Ashley over to Jared's coffee house. She lets us know that it is the second best rated celebrity food establishment in the United States right behind Bon Jovi. Now for two people who are the most seasoned people on television, you would think that maybe having Jared behind the bar actively making drinks and calling out names in the middle of the scene might be a little bit distracting. That being said, it did actually make it more compelling in the sense that I think it really highlighted Ashley and Jared's relationship. So she's at the bar. She's got her laptop out. She's nervously picking off her press on nails and just putting them on her computer as she talks to him. Ashley lets us know the cafe, Audrey's not a huge moneymaker, not making money like we thought it would, but it's good. Second rated best celebrity establishment in the United States. So Ashley's at the bar trying to talk to Jared. Jared's behind the coffee machine, grinding coffee. Ashley's trying to hit her typical housewife talking to her husband and telling him about what happened, as though A, he gives a fuck in the first place and B, she didn't tell him this before, like right when she got home. So she's are selling Jared about the 4th of July party coming up, grinding beans, groan. Ava, Ava I have a drink for you. Ashley goes on to talk about the issues going on between Rosie and Joellen and how Rosie brought a $6 bottle of wine over to Joellen's house. And I would totally do the same Jared. Jared's like, well, I probably would have brought something like more than $6. Cheapish. Katie, Katie your coffee's ready. So then Ashley asks Jared, when are you coming home tonight? I don't know. I've been trying to reduce my hours. And Ashley lets us know that Jared used to work 100 hours a week at Audrey's. He's home more now, but he's always thinking about Audrey's. So Audrey's is kind of like her third child. So Ashley tells Jared, I know that you love this coffee shop, but you don't light up anymore. And I feel like maybe you need to find something that can let you light up because I can go weeks without seeing you smile, Jared. Ashley says in a confessional, Jared and I are influencers. I have a bigger following than him, but he could still live a very wonderful life with the following that he does have in the opportunities that could come to him. But Jared wanted to do something outside of social media. And man, did he get it? I don't think she thinks it's funny. So then Ashley says to Jared, you know how you're constantly thinking about the coffee shop? I'm constantly thinking about how to make Jared happy. And Jared's like, oh, definitely don't do that girl. I don't want you to do that. So of course Ashley starts crying. She's like, when can we just have fun? I just don't want you thinking about Audrey's all the time. Jared's like, you're right. I need to be better and think about that more. Just if you want to put your dirty cups over in the corner. Yeah, that's fine. All right, see you again. Thank you. No, like I totally can do that. Poor Jason. He's waiting for his drink. Jason, Jason, your coffee's ready. So then we get to the fourth of July with Joellen. Joellen admits in a confessional that she has no idea what Fourth of July is about. How is that possible? She then tries to piece it together. I don't know. Plymouth Rock, Columbus, Plymouth Rocks in Massachusetts. That's our neighbor. Something to do with like, Danina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria. I don't know. Fourth of July is big in Rhode Island. I honestly don't know. Hey, it's Safir and Chintzia from the Girls' Bathroom Podcast. We're currently sponsored by HBO Max, where you can stream the new third season of HBO Original Euphoria from the 13th of April. The first two seasons changed everything when they dropped. It started so many trends across fashion, music, makeup and the memes. It honestly took over. Everyone was talking about it. Season three will surely have the same effect. It set five years on from where season two left the characters at high school, and now they're navigating adulthood and their twenties out in the big bad world. Season three of Euphoria launches on the 13th of April. You can also catch up on season one and two streaming now only on HBO Max. Parenting's full of little challenges. Nappy Rash doesn't have to be one of them. Introducing Collief Nappy Care Spray, a clinically proven, hypoallergenic spray that protects your baby's delicate skin from day one. No thick creams, no rubbing, no mess. Just spray and go. Gentle enough for newborns and perfect for busy parents who want nappy changes to be quick and fuss-free. Help prevent Nappy Rash before it starts with Collief Nappy Care Spray, available now on Amazon. Try it today. This is an ad from BetterHelp. Some days, it feels like you're carrying something no one else can see. Stress, grief, responsibility, the kind of heaviness that doesn't show up in photos but follows you everywhere. You don't have to hold it alone. With BetterHelp, you can talk to someone who helps lighten what you've been carrying for far too long. Take the weight off. Start therapy anytime from anywhere online with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash random podcast for 10% off your first month of online therapy. Fourth of July, girl. Come on. I just can't imagine that you would have been a kid growing up in that area of America, like the eastern, you know, beginning parts of America, as we know it. And not have any idea. Like, it seems like Fourth of July would have been deeply important. But maybe I'm wrong. The beauty of Joellen. So Joellen's getting full glam done, right? She keeps telling Gary, Gary, do not go outside right now. Don't go outside and skim that pool. Gary, I swear to God, don't do it. Gary goes outside to skim the pool. And then she seems her mom pull up. She's like, oh, God, it's my mother. So Joellen lets us know she has a very complicated relationship with her mom, the maternal gene, not only skipped her mother, but her grandmother. And so while she was growing up doing normal things that kids would do, Joellen's mother would then interpret it as though she's like a very bad kid and was really hard on her. And so she's trying to like be the parent that her mom was not. Now her mom's over there watching the kids, but it seems like their relationship is very fraught. Like they're trying to make jokes because her mom walks in like, oh, I'm here reporting for duty. And Joellen's like, what do you mean by that? Like what do you mean? It's not like her mom says like, I'm not getting paid for this. She's like, what do you say I paid for you last time? So it's not great. Rosie and Ashley drive to the party together with their husbands. Rosie came with a $60 bottle of wine. Thank God. She lets us know even though I don't even like Joellen, I really need to be accepted and I like acceptance. So I'm just going to try my very hardest to get accepted even though I do not like this girl. Who shows up with our girl Liz? Then Liz's tether Dolores Catania. Dolo lets us know she met Liz when Frank started working in the cannabis industry a few years ago. Liz told her just come to Rhode Island and see what it'd be like for the summer. So she and Pauly picked up their things in Jersey because Liz told her, like girl, you do not decide to spend a whole summer in an entirely different state on a whim. Just say we needed a connection, y'all. Like it's fine. We don't even have to tell the story. Just drop Dolo in. Don't try to trick us. I mean, obviously I'm not expecting them to say, hey, New Jersey's on a pause right now and we want to keep Dolores on our pocket and on her screens in some form or fashion. So here she is. I feel like this don't say anything like we all know what the T is. So after having to hold each other's hands to make sure that they all could get down to these high top tables in the backyard because it's down a hill and they're all wearing heels. It's a bad situation. So once they get to that high top table, everybody's stable kind of. You can tell the hills were sinking into the ground a little bit, but Kelsey asks Dolores, do you have any connection to Rhode Island? Dolores says when I was 18, I came here. Okay. After I graduated, I came here. Like you visited the state when you were 18. Okay. See you again. Just don't say anything. Kelsey then has the nerve to ask, is there a beach in New Jersey? And all of them are like, yeah, girl, the Jersey shore. The whole thing, miles and miles. After Rosie walks away from the table, Joellen tells Kelsey, I need you to know that I stuck up for you at the picnic. Rosie was questioning your relationship and Alicia was asking, oh, does Kelsey have two boyfriends? Where does she go for Christmas? And I was like, do you want to ask her yourself? So Dolores asking Kelsey, is there a reason why these women are asking about your relationship? Kelsey starts crying and says, I'm a cold bitch at the end of the day, but the relationship, like that's the one thing. I don't want to have to explain it to everybody and I don't have to. So that really doesn't answer any questions. Rosie shows up with her $60 bottle of champagne and a bouquet of fireworks. It's literally like a bunch of crackers wrapped in those bouquet, floral bouquet, brown paper. Joellen is horrified. She thanks her. And then I feel like, is like letting her know this ain't that kind of party for you to show up with a brown bag of sparklers. There are some caviar weeners on trays if you want them, because that's the kind of party I'm having. Little hot dogs topped with Meredith Marks caviar. Meredith is everywhere. I'm actively campaigning to get a free tin of Meredith Marks caviar butter when it comes out. So if anybody can point Meredith in the right direction, I really would like some. Thank you. After this, Kelsey goes up to Alicia and says, I know at the picnic there were questions about my relationship. But if Rosie has questions, if anybody has questions, listen. In my relationship that were rules from day one, I accepted a lot of things and that's it. And all Alicia says is, oh. So then Liz walks up. Alicia says people have been asking about Kelsey's relationship and Liz says, well, who all is asking about that? Because we all know when you're going through something sensitive, you don't want people sitting at other tables discussing it. Liz says in a confessional, I actually relate the most to Kelsey. And it's funny because she's the youngest, I'm the oldest, I know, but we're very close and we protect each other. And I'm internally allergic to bullshit. So she asks Liz, what else did you say at that picnic? Kelsey then starts getting heated about Rosie talking about her behind her back. She says, I want to know if she's asking questions, like genuinely, or she's saying things about me and putting that out as fact. Because that's a bad road to go down. It's not going to be good for you. Dolores and Liz, there's a caricature artist there. They decide to sit down and get their caricatures done. He's like, what are you guys, sisters? Do we look alike? Liz lets us know that maybe the reason why they look alike is because Dolores gave her the recommendation for her surgeon and they have the same dentist. But to be honest with you, I feel like it's the more, how do you say, organic parts that really tie the resemblance together. It's in the eyes, it's in the high cheekbones, like that's where they look the most alike. So at the end of the episode, we're all gathering out, having a little sparkler moment. Happy Fourth of July, whatever that means. Kelsey asks Rosie, is there anything else that I need to be concerned about at that picnic? And Rosie's like, I don't think so. So Kelsey then says, okay, was there anything said about my relationship? Rosie acts like she don't know, she's the one who brought it up. Kelsey, what do you mean? Kelsey says, I just want to know the truth. Was my relationship brought up by you? Rosie says, I was just questioning things. It was actually Joelle and that brought it up. She was talking about it saying that you're going through a hard time and we were like, oh my God, what hard time is she going through? And then I don't know, it turned her to swinging. So Kelsey says in a confessional, it's really hard to know who's telling you the truth and who's stabbing you in the back. Really hard to trust people around here. Rumors in Rhode Island are very typical and just part of the culture of the state. Alicia says in a confessional, I know a lot about people in this group. I just don't say it. Ashley says, this group has big things going on behind the scenes, big secrets, big cheating scandals. And then Liz says at the end, there's no reason to lie. The truth always comes out. And then Rosie says, you're going to say rumors about me? I'm going to say them about you. And I've held my tongue all summer long. We'll see y'all. I'm excited. Thank you guys so much for listening. Thank me for speaking. Love you. Bye. Hi, it's Pete and Sam from Staying Relevant and our podcast is brought to you by HBO Max. Available for the first time ever, HBO Max, a new place to stream HBO original series. Now this exciting Pete, whilst I was recovering from my throat surgery, I kicked back and watched all of my favourites. That was absolute bliss. You couldn't speak for three days. I'm glad you had this to keep you busy. I'm telling you, mate, HBO Max just get it right every single time. These stories make you feel something. One minute I'm crying, next I'm laughing. I mean, you take me on an emotional roller coaster every day to be fair. I knew you missed me. Did you do anything else whilst you were off? Play with the cats. Anything else? I didn't need to. HBO Max the home of quality entertainment. Nothing better to get you through vocal cord surgery, I guess. Stream HBO Max now.