Roar with Kim Congdon

And now, The Bonfire with Big J. O'Crossen and Robert Kelly. I love seeing Jacob get gully. Jacob get gully. He lights up. He does. The guy likes biggie Smalls. What are you going to say? Shout out Foxhole. Shout out Foxhole. You miss your days. I think work was more exciting when you work with all black people. He misses the N-word. It was. He misses all the N-words, don't you? Everyone was hooting and hollering, screaming. Every laugh exploded out of a chair. Did you ever sneak one out? Shout out Johnny Mac. Shout out Speedy. Shout out TDP. TDP? Shout out Claudia. Are they still involved at all? Shout out POTUS. They still work here at all? No. They're all gone. Well, that channel's gone. Someday Jacob will be saying that. There's somebody, another host about us. They clamped in the whole channel. They told you that Foxhole's gone. For years. Really? Yeah. I don't know the channel. What do I know? Kevin Hart's channel. Kevin Hart's channel. Replace it. I didn't tell you for sure it was the Kevin Hart channel. Right. There is. No, I know. I'm saying I didn't know that for sure. We got one of my favorite people in studio. I know. You guys are having a moment over there. No, I just, she's one of the most down to earth funniest human beings. You're giving her drugs. And she's, I didn't think that Kim could get any better. I didn't think it, but then she entered hero status with me. Yeah. And I was like, oh my God, of course. Look at it. You're looking at the new Marvel right now. That's right. That's it. Yeah. If you need saving, I'm high. Just so you know, I'm going to get there late, but when I get there, I'm going to fuck shit up. Bobby's not going to get there at all. Bobby won't be here. Bobby wore his hero shirt today. Of course in studio, we have this, the great Kimberly Congden. What's up everybody? You have it all. Hey, bonfire family. What's up? You have it all girl. You have it all. Dude, shit's crazy. Shit's crazy. I haven't even told you guys the story, but. What? My hero story. Oh yeah. My fucking hero story. Because the video I saw. The video doesn't know Justin. You leave camera and then come back by yourself. The camera person had a fucking stroke. Everyone panicked. Okay. It was understandable. It was a very scary moment. She was like, she said it felt inappropriate to hold up the camera. It was so bad. Okay. Well, she's not a fluencer. Yeah. After I was like, bitch, you could have changed my career. You could have changed my, this happened when I got fingered on Broadway, by the way. When I got sexually assaulted on Broadway with Joey Diaz. You're a double hero? No. A double stuffed. No, dude. This happened. That happened and then Deadline picked it up and it was about to be this huge story. Like comedian gets assaulted at Broadway show in New York and then the next day that bitch in New York got the beer can thrown at her and she chugged it. Oh, wait a minute. And she was on fucking late night. At Uncle Vinnie. They put her on late night. That was in New Jersey. Yeah. And by the way, I'm not sure. I mean, that was a cool reaction. It was a cool reaction. You would have had the Lucas fingers. But there's something to that though. Not the harp on this, but I've always thought that was a weird. We talked about that recently, Bobby. Didn't we? They put her on late night because she got something thrown at her and she had a cool reaction. She was still, you know, doing a showcase or whatever at Uncle Vinnie's. Not probably ready necessarily for that shot. And it's like, so to just go, hey, there's a lot of people vying for these spots, but someone filmed you having a moment on stage that has nothing to do with comedy really. Like it's not being funny necessarily. And you get a shot like that. It's very strange. And I think it does worse for them. I still couldn't tell you that girl's name and I couldn't tell you where she's at in comedy. By the way, the answer is going to be killing it. She's probably, she's doing MSG next week. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Feeders. I'm just saying that this happened with the video too, where I'm like, why wouldn't you? Are you actually bumped Lewis off of his storytelling show for her? Are you kidding? I believed it. I believed it. But yeah, dude. I didn't even know what is the finger, what happened on, how are you with Joey Diaz and you? How does that happen? You think they should have fingered him? So Joey Diaz and you were there and someone fingers you? Get your fingers out of my asshole, cock-sock-o. So this was like years ago. This is probably like four years ago at this point. I was doing, I was opening up for Joey Diaz on Broadway. He had that residency there. Yeah, that big Sony theater. The Sony theater, yep. And I go on stage. I set my tripod up. I set a camera up myself. They're not filming. So I asked the audio guy and he's in the back behind the audience. It's like a movie theater. You got to go up the aisle and then in the center back. So Keith filmed a special. Yeah. So I set the tripod up there. I do my set. I have one of the best sets of my life. I have so much fun. I'm like, this night can't get any better. This is it. This is the best night ever. So you're going to be fingered for free? Yeah. Then I came. No. So then I get off stage and Lee is coming up. He's hosting. So he's about to introduce Joey. So when I get off stage, the lights go on for a moment and I'm walking. I remember, oh, I forgot my camera and let me go get it because I'm filming still. So I go up the aisle and then Joey comes on and the lights start going crazy. And there's people running back from the bathrooms realizing that Joey's on now. So the hallway gets kind of crazy and someone bumps into me and I feel like my vagina basically pretty much penetrated through my pants. I was wearing like leggings with a jacket over it, like a body suit with a jacket over it. And someone poked me in the vagina hard enough to where it hurt. And I like backed away. This is the part you guys are going to laugh at me about because I turn around and I look and this guy is pretending to be blind. That's hilarious. You got to give it up for that guy to immediately go to that. And the lights now are going on and off because Joey's on stage. He's doing the thing and it's like a minute long. So they're going like this and I'm trying to see and he's doing this. He grabs onto his friend and I go grab my camera, I sit back down and I sit next to Sarah Wynchank. She was the other opener for the show and I go, a blind guy just poked me in the vagina by accident. And it kind of hurts still. Well, he just thinks he put his fingers in a camel's mouth. He was just trying to use the elevator. Where's the show? He actually read something in there and brailed. So then Sarah looks at me dead in the eye and this is one of those things. This happens to women. When something happens to us like that, we try to find any answer but that. Because if you're a sane woman and you're not the one that wants to accuse men of rape constantly and you're a real person, the last thing you want to do is blame someone for something that could have been an accident. But also, I sit down with Sarah and she goes, that's not a blind guy. You got fingered. Straight up, she was like, wake up bitch. This is the real world. I was like, I felt like one of those Mormon kids that realized that. You're like, now he's reading a book. Yeah. So then I tell them and then I realize that my camera was rolling. So I'm like, let's see if we got it. But the lighting, it was only shadows. So we see the guy run into me and we see the blind act and then we see this shadowy figure with a weak jaw and a terrible profile. And I'm like, this ugly dude, this was him. I remember, can I tell you the craziest thing? He pretended to be blind but also from the front, not his profile. He kind of looked like gay blind Mike, which confused me. And I was like, and then it further confused me. I was like, maybe all blind people have similar features and then it convinced me that he was blind as well. Maybe they all have the same blind thing. Their faces go the same. So I'm looking for this guy and we can't find him in the whole, everyone's going ears in. It looks like someone tried to assassinate the president there. We might have him over here. They're pulling men out of the show. I'm going, not him. I'm smelling fingers. That's not mine. That's not mine. And then finally this waitress goes up. She goes, I think we have him. There's a guy throwing up in the back. He's really drunk. From smelling your fingers? This is so mean you guys. This is a no mean. Don't forget I'm a hero. You're a hero. You can't believe what he's done. He's like, ugh. He's so shamed. It smells like an open micro with a tripod. Post assault clarity. So I go and let management deal with it instead of going back. They're like, we're going to go check. And then the guy comes back. He's like, that was him. And I go, what happened? Did you get his ID? They're like, he refused to give a size ID and he ran out the door. Well, as soon as we confronted him and I was like, oh really? And I go, how do you know it was him? Then he goes on the way out. He yelled, at least I got to touch Kim Congdon's pussy. So he knew who you were. I literally went crazy. I fucking said nothing to anybody. I just started walking towards the exit right past people. I fucking kick open this door. At this point, it's almost an hour later. Joey's about to get on off stage. It took us an hour to find him. And there's people with cameras waiting outside for Joey. And when I opened the door, they're like, great set. Great. I say nothing. I go right past him. I look. I see this drunk guy hiding from the wind because it's New York. It's windy. It's cold in the pillars and he's kind of like doing this thing. And I went up and I beat the fuck out of him. It was him. Yeah. I beat the absolute shit out of him. Wow. And then I... No one stopped you? No. I smacked. Nobody knew what was going on. I looked like I beat up a drunk guy out of nowhere. But yeah, I slapped him in the face. He dropped. I kicked him in the face like three or four times. I spit on him. And then his friend came up and tried to offend him. And I tried to hit him too. And by then they were holding me back. Not him? No. Kim's a problem. Yeah. Yeah, you don't want to fucking finger fuck Kim. You don't want to fucking against her will over her clothes. And then the next day, that girl got a beer thrown on her. And she was on late night. And I was like, dude, my story was sick. Yeah, your story was better. Her's is all on camera. That guy's a hero with his friends though. Yeah, because I tell this story so much. He's like, that was me. Dude, you remember the time? Yeah. You know, he's like, that was me. That story she tells, that was me. He's the Santa Claus in Maythrough. And his friends are like, ew. They threw snowball, the Santa Claus in Maythrough. He probably didn't realize the first three times he did that that his friends were like, ew, that was you. He had to stop telling it. He goes, too, you're not supposed to do it. He goes, oh, okay. Yeah. I thought you guys were good. He's going to have kids someday. He's going to have that story in the chamber. Oh, yeah. I'm going to tell you a story. Yeah. So then I go to Puerto Rico and I save a family. All right. Listen, this whole. I'm not going to, you're going to be shocked when I say this. All right. Because you know my story. Yes. You saved a black girl at the beach. Okay. I don't know why her color has anything to do with it. I think that was a big part of the story when I read it. I was like, you've said black girl like 80 times. So quoting you. And you had capitalized black, which was strange. I actually put a Martin Luther King speech at the end of it too. The dream has come true. A black person. This was the dream, actually. This was the dream. Maybe someday white people will save black girls in the ocean. I'm good at summarizing Bobby's thing. Bobby, a black girl who couldn't swim was screaming that her sister who couldn't swim tried to swim. And then Bobby jumped in to help because their father, who's black, also couldn't swim. That's a good summarization. That's a great story. Yeah. It's a fantastic story. Did the news pick it up? Could you imagine if Bobby had to save three black people with wet hair? They're not going to pick up your finger fucking incident. They're going to pick up mine. Fucking. Oh, there it is. What if you had to save three black people once with all with wet hair? You'd sink. Yeah. You'd go down, dude. Well, Bobby saved one person. Okay, this is going to sound like a lie. Can you tell me where you were? I was in Puerto Rico. It's this river called Las Pailas. It's an El Yumke. It's the jungle in Puerto Rico. You take this hike through this jungle and you come out and there's these huge rocks. You could probably look up Las Pailas, P-A-I-L-A-S. And it's beautiful. It's a jungle. There's water slides. You can get in the rocks. See, there's like the slide right there to the right. That's where I was at near that area. Paco's a lady's going to miss the whole story. Paco, you fucking piece of shit. You're supposed to be here. And it's beautiful and it's fun. That's exactly where I was. Was it like a natural slide? It's a natural slide. It looks to get hurt a little bit. It doesn't. It's a blast. It's a blast. That looks awesome. Yeah, it's a great time. Bobby, our little flat-asses, Bobby, you're going to get pounded up by them rocks. We'd have to use cushions. That's exactly where I saved the person, this one. So, yes, as you can see. So how long does it take to get out? You have to like drive in the jungle? I mean, you got to get to the jungle. So once you get to the El Yunque jungle, it's a 10-minute hike down to the lake. It's like a touristy thing or a local? It's both, depending on the day you go. Really? Sometimes I go and there's no tourists and sometimes I go and it's full of tourists. That day it was a Saturday. It was packed with tourists. And that day, it also rained a lot. So the water was a lot moving a lot faster than it normally does. And I was up smoking weed at the rocks and it takes a minute to get down. If you're climbing on the rocks, it takes some time to get down to the water. And it was really weird because right then I just noticed all these fish surrounding this woman. I was with my friend Dulce Mac. She's a comedian. And I told her, oh, I wonder if they'd do that if I sat next to them. Film me and they'll probably all run away. Because of your vagina? Yeah, they're probably going to be like, ew, get out of here. It was like a hot blonde chick and they were swirling around. And I was like, that's not going to happen if I sit there. So she was filming me and we're going to do a funny video about the fish not being there. So in this video, you see me, I'm trying to climb. You see how long it takes. I'm trying to climb down to the rocks to the fish. And if you listen, when the video starts, you hear the first scream of the woman. She started and at that point when you start screaming, someone's already been drowning long enough that you need to publicly scream. Yeah. I want Paco to get her on video saying this. Can you push the button on her? You can take your time. Hi Paco. Hi Paco. You look great. You look great Paco. Nice sweater. Nice sweater. Your hair looks good too. There's family member pass? No. Have you not changed since Easter? I love the Lord. I love the Lord is crazy. You love the Lord? She lights up a little bit. So in this video, I go down to the fish and as I'm looking at the fish, I hear someone start screaming and they scream a couple of times and I look over and the sun literally right at that moment, you can see it's like, it's cloudy and sunny. The sun shines over this spot and I can see about a foot of the fish. It shines over this spot and I can see about a foot deep into the water and I see a grown man's head submerging under the water. Already, he's already under and then I see him just put one finger up and then go down. And she's this lady. The movie. Yeah. And this lady is like shrill like, help, help somebody. And I look over and there's like eight or nine men and nobody's moving. So I jump in the water. This is what you get. And I swim over and when I get to the guy, I'm from Florida. I've swam my whole life. The one thing you shouldn't do is save a drowning grown man as a small woman. And so as a hero, that's true. I will back that up. Yeah. It's like the scary. Back at HQ. That's what they did. Yeah. That's just a fact. It's like just so dangerous and everything I read it. So I did everything I read. I got behind him and before I went down to get him, he was already down and he wasn't moving. So it's like, there was no thrashing at that point. I like yelled, I need somebody to help me. And I went underwater and I felt under, he was 12 feet under. 12 feet is how deep it was. That's deep as shit. And I go underwater and I feel a T-shirt like the back of a T-shirt and I put my knuckles under it and I go like this and I'm swimming and I'm trying to pull him up and I broke my nail grabbing this mossy rock and I'm clinging onto this rock. And when I pull him up and go like this, he's holding a six year old child in his hands. Oh, you said two people. They're a double hero. Yeah. They're fat people. They were Indian, normal size Indian family. I guess where they lived. This Lou loves Indian people. You love Indian? His girlfriend, his long term girlfriend is an Indian. That triggers me right now. I'm still going to get through it. I actually get triggered when I see an Indian family now. I can't look straight at them because it like fucks me up. But yeah, I pull them out and I'm holding on and then the guys jump in and they help me pull them out of the water. This is great. Get used to it. And then I put them on the rocks and the kids spitting up water and yeah, dude, it was really fucking crazy. Was his dad unconscious or something? He just couldn't swim. I guess the kid could swim. They don't swim at the beach, but what people don't realize is when you travel, places have salt, some places don't. You can float at the beach and not float in a river. Some people think they can swim because they've only swim at a very salty beach their whole life. These are all things heroes we kind of know. You learn these things when you're a hero. I know about the riptides and the swim sideways. Yeah, you swim sideways. You swim sideways in a riptide. Like the girl tried to grab me. I was like, hey, don't. We'll both die. You got to go behind her. You got to kick away if they grab you. Yeah, this is all things you know as a hero. Well, water hero. Well, that's almost the best type of hero. Yeah, a water hero is the hero we need. The other hero, the top hero. The airplane hero is pretty important. That's number one, but water hero is number two. Yeah. Water hero is pretty big. Yeah, well, you know what? The Twin Towers weren't under the ocean. It's true. It is true. That's why you couldn't stop that. You guys live with that regret every day. Man, 9-11. If we were in town. If 9-11 was in the Hudson instead of out of it, my God, I would have been there for them. Oh, your guys biggest regret is you weren't alive for Pearl Harbor. So you had to pick up a man and a kid. And a kid and swim them out of the water. And not only that, when you get to the edges of these rocks, they're really mossy. So even when I got them up. Like sliding. Yeah, they were sliding back in and panicking. So I was under the water holding their feet up to push them onto the rocks. It was fucking crazy, dude. Everybody was crying. The dude's arm going down, like giving the terminator to when she was there. It was just a little, you know, I never thought I could see the signal of an Indian going, I give up with just a fingertip. It was like dramatic. Like it went up and then down. That is all. Thank you. I'm never going to come again. Guess what time I saved them? 7-11. I'm going to the big slurpee in the sky. Okay, so there is a second part to the story that is kind of crazy. So that first part is pretty crazy. The first part is pretty crazy. So that happens. Can I ask real quick before you go to the second part, did the wife come over and hug you and we all sat on the we sat on the rock and probably. 10 people cried for a little bit. We all cried and then yeah, we sat on the rock for like 25 minutes while the kid coughed up water and they kind of just like they were almost, they were pale. It was really scary and then I helped them get out to go to the urgent care. They had a car and they were going straight to urgent care. It was really crazy and the mom, I think, you know what I think it was, the mom came over and blessed me a bunch of times. Like seven hands. You know, she did the Indian thing. She kissed my foot or whatever. She gave you a hand, huh? Yeah. She ripped me off. She called me and sold me weird medicine and took my credit card number and then she got out of there. But you know what the funniest part is when I got back up to the, you hike up and then it's the local Puerto Ricans that own the jungle, the property in the jungle and they're taking parking for the cars and shit. And I go up there and I go, it was a crazy day and they go, yeah, I heard a girl saved some Indians. Yeah. Yeah, some stuff got crazy. I was like, that was me. I saved the Indians. They were like, huh? Well, I asked a big question. Everyone else is afraid to ask, what does wet Indian smell like? Oh my God. Okay, fine. I'll be the asshole who asked the question. We're all wondering. Paprika. What's what you mean? Paprika and bleach. Sage, rosemary, something crazy. So dude, I was traumatized from that moment and well, yeah, we can play. You can hear the woman screaming if we turn the volume up. There's the fish I was going to go sit with. That is you. No adult men reacted. No. You can see the guy stopped swimming towards them. Everybody. I love your sing songy girlfriend. Oh my God. Someone's dying. When we played that back, I went very cinematic. Oh my God. What a good, oh my God. Oh Noah. Oh Noah, there's someone drowning. But you could hear even from when I'm walking down, she's already going like, oh my God. Oh my God. Because the kid went down the slide first. He was about six. He was the only one that could swim out of them. So he went down the slide being like, I'll swim back up and meet you guys. But it wasn't a beach. So when he went down, he went straight down. And then the dad, she was screaming. Nobody was helping the kid. So then the dad jumped in, but he couldn't swim. He just needed to find the kid underwater. What is it about dads who can't swim? They had only swim at a beach. Ethnic. This is a river that everyone should know a river, your body weighs different in a river than in the ocean. If there's salt and no salt, salt makes you float. Everyone should know this. Yes. And some beaches are saltier than others. So if you can float really well at one beach, you might not be able to add another. The water that you take to sneak into our fine country is different than the water you will drown in on our wonderful rivers. Come here by sea. Die by river. Exactly dude. Exactly. It's funny you had two couples. You had a couple right there. You see them stop. They just stopped and looked. Everyone froze. Nobody moved. You can see I look around for a second because there's men closer. They could have just dove right in and I had to swim across. If you see the big picture that we pulled up of the river, I was in the fucking sea behind those people standing. I was back. Oh, no, I was right behind that pile of rocks. Yes, right there. Where were they drowning at the end of the little white stuff? Yep. At the end of the white stuff, 12 feet under. Because that water is pushing them down. There's people standing on the rocks around them. Yeah, but those people aren't heroes. Yeah, they're not heroes. They don't have it in them. So this is the craziest thing. They're little curious people that want to watch two Indians die. I'm shaken up by that whole thing. I'm not going back to the river this whole trip. I go to the other side of the island to this beach called- You're the lifeguard now. Hobo's Beach. I go to Hobo's Beach. That sounds safe. And I rent a surfboard. It's the best beach in Puerto Rico. It's in Isabella. It's fucking gorgeous. And I rent a surfboard and before I get out there, I see this guy. That I'd surf with the last time, the last month I went. And he was like, oh, the rip current is crazy today. I said, good. Because when you're on your surfboard, it just pulls you out. You don't have to paddle it's hard. If you're not on a surfboard, you're fucked. I'm paddling out three days after I saved this. And I see this head bobbling in the ocean. And I'm like thinking of just going to surf. And I go, there's no way another person's drowning. But I'm going to go check. And I paddle over and I look at the guy and I go, do you need help? And he's slipping under the water. And he goes, yep. And goes under the water. Right when I get. You saved two people? I saved three people in one week. And I pulled him. What race? He was a white man. He was a white man and he had Parkinson's disease. That's where a stroke. So he was trying to go for a swim. And he got caught in the rip current. And he was, muscles were so tired. And we both got caught in the rip current at this beach for about 15 minutes in the water. Even I was tired after it. And I'm a great swimmer. You saved the white guy with Parkinson's. And then when I pulled him onto the water, I sort of got, the guy I was dating was with me. I pulled him onto the water and, and he walks, and he walks away to go catch his breath or weather. And his wife comes by and she goes, thank you so much for saving my husband's life. I think he could have died if you weren't here today. Take it. Take it in. All hail. You saved the way to the eagle. Watch as the eagle flies. You saved a white guy. That's like double points. I saved three people in one week and one child. You saved two Indians. Two Indians and a white guy. That's like, that's like a white and a half. Oh my God. Parkinson's white is more. Yeah. Parkinson's white. So you got like a, yeah, like a, like a Michael J. Fox. Who lets their husband go? That was a, she was trying to murder her husband. No, she literally was like, I told him not to any never listens. That's what she said. She told him definitely to do it. And then I saw. She's waiting to get some money. I could see that the rip tide here is crazy at this beach. Yeah. Well, wait, is that, That's hobos beach. The waves are coming in, but that means it's sucking out, but they're coming in an angle. You'll, you'll see, you can see it kind of looks like a circle. See how the foam's going in a circle. It's pulling you out where the foam's going out. And it takes you way past those, where that rock is in the back. If you're not careful. And if you try to fight it, you'll be swimming that for hours. But look at that beach. I mean, the surf so good every day. The right side's for swimming. The left's for surfing. He tried to swim on the left side. Dumb shit. Dumb fucking. Look how nice the right, look how nice the right looks. Why wouldn't you just swim in there? Jittery bitch. So I saved three people in one week. I just, I'm sorry. That's top of her oaks. Now I don't know. We have to say Yamanika threw her hat in the ring by telling By drowning at the beach and Bobby saving her. Yeah. I don't know from that much of a hero. Bobby will always say Bobby tried. Wait, who, who'd Yom save? Her tits would make her float. She went into a, at a public bathroom in a park. She saw a guy go in there and he was like squirting lighter fluid all over the bathroom or something. And she was the only one that went in and said something about it and the cops came and got him. Whoa. And the fire department came and fitted him. Like a playground. Yeah. Whoa. He was trying to light the place on fire at a playground. Holy shit. Yeah. But she's hilarious too when she walks by the camera. She's all young. She's still Yamanika. There's two Yamanikas. There's, hey baby, hi Bobby. Yeah, I'm sorry. Mother fucker. She was, she was mother fucker. I'll never forget when we used to play Fortnite with James and Max and Yamanika would, it would be me, Yamanika and Matteo playing. And then one day James and Max joined and they didn't know Yamanika yet. And she was talking like, follow me. We got to go here. And Max goes, um, excuse me. Why do you yell so much? That's the one where he said, you sound like, it's a Matteo. You sound like the guy on shit's creed. Matteo was like, did he just call me a queer? Yes. Yes he did. Yes he did. Yeah, this is the Yamanika video. Hey, that's my song. That's our song. It's playing in her video. It's playing in her video. Oh, it is. Oh shit. Okay, so it's not, you have to read for what it says. It's not really in the video. This is just a video of what's happening. So if you see something say something, that's all it says. No, it's, oh, I meant over here. Oh, and her friend writes? Oh, it's kind of what was it? Someone doused the bathroom with gasoline, and if you didn't hesitate, and didn't hesitate to alert authorities and resolve the issue, if you see something say something, it's our responsibility to keep each other safe. And she walks over and she goes, gasoline porn motherfucker. Oh shit. She's Yamanika. I don't even need to hear it to know. I saw her face. Fucking ass gasoline ass thrown ass motherfucker. I mean, the comedians are heroes. We're naturally heroes. Why was she at a playground though? She was molesting kids. She's still a hero. She's still a hero. He doesn't make her not a hero for saving them. She's not killing them. Yeah. They could have gotten therapy. If you molest a kid and then pull that kid out of like a shark tank, like you've done a good thing still. Yes. You saved the kids still. Start crying. That's beautiful. Now I would say if you molest a kid and he happens to fall into a shark tank, hope to God the sharks do what they have to do. On booking.com it's easy to book your holiday home. And thanks to no hidden fees, there's no more. Guys, found a villa. I'm confirming. Where were we? Added fees. We don't do sneaky added fees. So you can go from home to holiday home with no dramas. And relax. On booking.com finding a holiday home is easy. Booking.com, booking.com, yeah. Well, it's a room full of heroes. You know that. I mean, I paid for the... Wow, look at us all with our pictures of being heroic. Well, I couldn't take a picture because I did my heroics in Secret Seve and I paid for two retarded guys. Tell the whole story though. You gotta hear the story, Jay. The story. I came over. It seemed like a homeless weirdo. He almost touched my fried green tomatoes, asked me what they were and I told them. And then I looked over it. As he walked away, I looked over the table next to me with these ladies and another guy and gave him like the, this fucking weirdo. Like this face. Like, can you believe this fucking bum just came in here and fucking almost touched my fried green tomatoes? And then he goofily sat down at that table with the people I was just making faces about him to. And I realized that him and the guy next to him were both... What do you call that? Retarded adults? Retarded adults. And he was just being awkward as a retarded adult would do, asking about my tomatoes. So then I gave him my tomatoes. Can I tell you, you should have known this because a special needs person's favorite book is fried green tomatoes. That is the number one book for the special needs. You're not wrong about that. He just saw something from a book he loved, you asshole. Well, I gave it to him. So I gave him my... He also points to caterpillars too. And he calls it butterfly. But yeah, so I gave him the rest of the fried green tomatoes. I was like, if you want to try them here, you could have the rest of these. Did he take them? He took them. And then I quietly, as I left the restaurant, paid for their whole table's bill. Hero. And then let's not forget Christine, who informed me while I was showering that she had in fact turned off the space heater that very more than likely, of course, would have caused zero problems had it not been done. But it assures that nobody dies from a fire because of that, that day. Christine. Hero. Hero. She's a preemptive hero. Preemptive hero. There's all different types of heroes. I unplugged it. It's a spectrum. It's a preemptive hero. Hero's a spectrum. Yeah, it's a rainbow. It's a rainbow. Jacob, any hero stories from your past at all? Or you always a villain? Trying to think. I want to be a hero now that I'm in this entire filled, I'm in a room filled with heroes. This is the Justice League right now. Yeah, unfortunately, you seem to see more of your guys going to twirl a mustache while you have your high school across the tide to a railroad track. I can't come close to a triple hero. No, a triple hero is tough. That means no one's topping that. You can only do it in Puerto Rico. Yama Nika could always possibly say that she potentially saved 10s, 20s. Yeah, who knows? That blaze could have turned into. She saved their lives and probably saved kids from being molested in that bathroom. Probably. Well, it definitely took her away from her molesting. That's true. She was like, well, now I got to save these kids. I can't focus on molesting. Right. And she needed that. She did need that. That may have been the kickstart she needed to turn her life around. That was her bottom. I feel like that was her bottom. Lou, you have any heroics in your life there? No, I'm trying to think. No, I'm usually the victim. You're the person who needs saving. Yeah. I know. Well, we need them. We do need them. We can't be heroes without you. Lou's got a good hero origin story. Like he grew up, he had to go to school with like a bunch of loose animals in the back of a van, like raccoons and shit. What? That doesn't make me a hero. Would you go to Kentucky? Nope, right there in Jersey. Why would there be loose animals in the back of the van? My dad was an exterminator. Oh. And he used to put the kids in the back with the animals. Yeah, with the wolf he found in someone's attic. That's so fucked. It's so crazy, right? You get out and there would be like raccoons and squirrels and shit all like in the cages as you get out of the car. It's got to be nerve-wracking as a child. I was such a kid that would be like panicky about that. I would freak out every day. Well, it was a box truck, so it wasn't supposed to have people in the back, but we were just getting, grab a ride to school with the cage, squirrels and raccoons. Wait a second. Stayed in the mix of them. Wait a second. Box truck. It's like a U-Haul. It's like the person who was driving. It's like an Astrovan with the seats taken out. Yeah, it's one of those white nondescript trucks that the Spanish guys drive. Okay, but you have direct contact to the front seats though. No, it's blocked off. What? Yeah, like a Bronx truck sort of. He was with the animals. You weren't in the cab. You were in the box. No cab. Was there a light? No window. It's so illegal. No lights. It was illegal, sure. They just stuck you in a black box with wild animals. Don't forget the chemicals. You always said it was a van. This is much worse. Yeah, that's pretty bad. I mean, I was sugarcoating it. Let me ask you a question. The substantially worse. Why did your dad leave the animals he caught overnight in the van? Aren't you supposed to like release them the next day? No, he was on his way too, but to drop off the kids to school first. So, but he still had animals from when? From the night. Oh, he was out all night collecting them. Yeah, yeah. Oh, he was a nighttime catcher. Hop in. I found a King Cobra. In my elementary school, there was a girl and her dogs. She had two, what are those droopy ones with the long ears? Oh, a basset hound. Basset hounds, yeah. And they were famous because they were in the termite commercials, the local termite commercials. And she was the most popular girl in school because we were like, you have those dogs, right? Let me see the dogs. Yeah, everyone wanted to go to her house because we were like, they had the termite dogs. All those animals were treated horrible on TV. Like Mr. Ed, they said they fed them glass so that his mouth would move on your arm. Dude, have you ever seen or heard of the movie? No. Have you ever seen or heard of the movie Roar with Tippi Hendren? Yes. Tippi Hendren? Hedren. Hedren. They had like four crew members die. It was basically a movie about these people that make their own sanctuary, but in order to make the movie, they just put in like 80 different prides of lions. Like different families of lions in what, and pretended they were families and the animals were killing each other. And to be Hendren, I think went deaf and like, yeah, look, they would get attacked. And they were filming a movie and they just used it. Yeah. And it was like really fucking dangerous. God, just the tiger, the lion just bit his head. The most dangerous film ever made. I watched it on mushrooms. Don't realize I'm Chris Christofferson. The first time I did an eighth of mushrooms by accident, I was at Jeff Ross's party and this was on on a projector and I watched it alone while these hot chicks were making out in front of me. And they were like, come make out with us. And I was like, no, this is on. Roars on. Roars on, dude. And these hot chicks were just making out in front of me and I watched this whole movie on mushrooms by myself. Well, they made it for two hours straight. I don't know how long I was there and how long they were there, but I finished the movie. Sounds like a fun party. It's too gross. The party was fucking awesome. What was Jeff doing? I don't know. I don't know. I'm not going to get behind that. Don't quote me. These things just bite us. Yeah, Milo and Otis had a bunch of fucking deaths. Oh my God. I mean, this is and these lines aren't even families. Everyone had ripped shirts. You could see the crews running away. Even when they're filming, everyone's looking around like they're nervous. How many days in the filming do you think somebody was going like, we have to stop making this movie? They're attacking. I mean, these guys were riding in a car with two tigers. It's fucking terrifying. Oh my God. No, they all got really hurt. They were the tigers. The tigers loved Siegfried and Roy and tried to kill one of them. Yeah. It loved them. Yeah, it was. Those are all male tigers. Yeah. Yeah, they're not really supposed to all hang out together. They're not supposed to at all. It was like, I think it changed the laws of making movies forever after this came out. It should have. Look at that. Tigers and lions don't get along. They're not supposed to be. They were just trying every day. It goes, have a Puma and a Panther. There's giraffes. It's not even lying. Look, he's bleeding. He's bleeding. He's all bloody. I mean, there's like 20 lions right there. He's holding his leg. He's scratched. Is there a point to the movie or is it just watched these people get mauled every couple of minutes? I kind of remember really getting into it emotionally. So, yes. I remember. I watch it. By the end of the movie, I was like, I hope the sanctuary works out. I hope they get these things under control. They had elephants. They had giraffes. They were illegally riding them. There was no trainers on. There was like trainers that only worked with dogs on set. It was insane. Where did they do it? It's got to get chased by an elephant on a moped. What the fuck? This is wild. Where was it made? I don't know. Had to be made out of this country. Jeff Ross' yard, I think. I don't know. Jeff Ross' Alka, what's it called? The grotto? Yeah. Look at that. See, they don't get along. Ladies, how would you like to make out and watch roar? That's five male lions with a tiger. This is California versus New York. It's California. This is filmed in Acton, California. What? Solid dead canyon near Acton, California. Oh, the guys all bloody getting eaten. The shambalas preserved. Look, the actors are running away for real. Like these moments, they just kept in the B-roll, but they were actually running away. They're like, we'll use that. Everyone lived. Oh, so cute cubs, leopard cubs. Why are there leopards, tigers, and lions all together? There was every animal. Oh my. I'm not kidding. Every animal you've ever seen that scary is in this. They had snakes. They had everything. What is the purpose of this fucking movie? They're all just covered in lines bleeding. Yep, they were all fighting each other, bleeding. A bunch of animals died. It was horrific. Rawr. But that night. But that night, watching those cuties make out, watching those little cuties make out while I watch roar, yum yum. Look at that. Girls. Girls, I'm doing that. What's happening on the screen? Was she in it? Yeah, tippy. I think that's Melanie Griffith. That's Melanie Griffith. Yep, that's what I meant. This is the roar. That's her daughter. That's her daughter? That's her daughter? Oh. Oh, it's a foundation. This is a place in California that I guess it's still, I guess the sanctuary exists. You got to kill all those animals. They have human blood on their tongues. Melanie Griffith's mom is tippy. You can adopt one. You can adopt a tiger, a lion. This says adopt a wild one. Was it like a documentary about creating it or was it a movie? It was a movie. We should adopt one and make Jake take care of it. Just like new animals, not even the same animals? Yeah, I don't know. Oh, but adopting one is just one of those things that's like adopting. Like a road. Like adopting like a... Like a road. No, like an, yes. Like an Ethiopian kid. But you can adopt a highway too. You can do that. Oh, this is my highway. Yeah. But like if you adopt, if you send a dollar a day to Ethiopian to some kid, you can't just fucking like hit them. No, you can. You can keep them. You can't just sex with them. Really? Yeah. When they hit 13. So I got some info about roar, the craziest things about roar. Me and Bobby vamp in a weird way. What? Me and Bobby vamp in a weird way. Yeah, we just started vamping about fucking, all right, whatever. 150 animals, no CGI, no safety barriers, no trained behavior. The plot is basically a guy lives with big cats and chaos happens. Except everything's real. The cast got destroyed. Tippi Hendrin got bitten in the head by a lion. She needed 40 stitches. Her daughter Melanie Griffin mauled so badly she needed facial reconstructive surgery. Noel Marsher, the director, attacked so many times he was hospitalized repeatedly, once with gangrene. A cinematographer had his scout partially torn off. Over 70 people were injured during filming, 70. And this wasn't just on set. The director and Tippi literally lived with a dozen big cats in their beds and in their house. And they occasionally attacked people. It took 11 years for them to film this and it bankrupt them. 11 years? It was meant to be a family movie. Every time somebody got out of the hospital, they were like, all right, I gotta get back to set. Get the key grip, call the key grip and the best boy. I didn't realize this was all connected. I didn't know Tippi, I knew Mel, this, yeah, this was a big, they did this magazine spread in Life Magazine in the 70s. Oh, zero people died. Oh, good. Oh, yeah, this, yeah, this is them. This is actual photos of the family living with the lions. They just lived. Yeah, she took some home with her. Oh, look at Melanie Griffith. Hey, be that. Oh, how was your mom? Look at, that's her child. Oh, hey, was your mom an alcoholic Drew Barrymore? Because my mom brought home lions to fucking babysit me. God, that would be a nightmare to wake up to. I mean, it's a pretty animal though. Look at that. I mean, it's gorgeous aesthetically. I like it for the photo shoots. I like it as a rug, I would like it. Yeah. I mean, it is so scary. There's no way a lion feels. On your desk while you're writing. There's no way that a lion feels unconditional love toward you. No way. There's no way. It feels certainly conditional love. And unfortunately, the conditions could be like, I'm hungry and you have a face. Yeah. And I'll tell you what, that house smelled like shit. Oh, yeah. There's no way that lion did. There's a lion in her bed. Taking a dump right on her fucking bathroom floor. Oh, hey, it's Melanie Griffith in her fucking lion's sleeper. This is more weird than a ducked in plain sight when they would let the neighbors sleep with their daughter. That was crazy. And the dad's like, so I let him jerk me off. It's like what? Ducked in plain sight. That's still my favorite. That's my favorite. That's one of the best documentaries. Do you remember that one, Bobby? No. They made a movie about it in a mini series I'm sure it didn't do it justice. It's incredible. It was a guy who found the stupidest family ever where he ended up having sex with molesting all the kids and the husband and the wife. No, he picked one. He molested one child that it was his favorite, but first he was like convincing the parents that he was just best friends with their nine-year-old daughter. This is a grown man. He's like, we're just bonded. I don't know why. I really want to take her to a water park for four days without any of you. Oh, the left. And they were like, she really liked water parks and we really didn't want to upset her. When was this? The 80s. 80s, some small shitty town. Yeah, some bum fucked town. But this guy comes in, he... I mean, I would have sex with some guys, did for an Atari back then. Listen, he had an affair with the mother? He had an affair with the mother? After molesting the daughter, after kidnapping the daughter twice. Yeah. Very clear. Police involved kidnapped twice, then had the affair with them. The husband had sex with him twice. Like the husband, like he talked in the gay sex with him. But the funniest, the one that made me laugh the most where I was like, I'm stopping the feel bad for this family in any kind of way, which by the end is gone anyway. But the first sight of it, where they said the guy came in one day, there's the parents telling the story too. He just barged in their house one day and starts taking off his clothes in the kitchen. And it's like the kids are in bed already. He goes, yeah, he goes, my therapist says it'd probably be better for me if I... Your daughter makes me comfortable, so it'd be better if I just sleep in bed with her. And he just walks upstairs and just goes and starts becoming a thing if he sleeps in bed with her for a while. And in the interview, the parents are like, well, he did have a doctor-approved note. It's like he is literally the stupidest family you've ever met. And the dad's like, I don't know why I jerked him off. His dick was just there. Yeah, he goes, I don't know. We were in the woods. He had his penis out. He said, this might help you find your daughter. And I thought maybe he knew something. It's like, what are you talking about? Maybe he said the answers might be in his balls. Maybe I should pull them out of his wiener hand. How much jerked are you off in the woods one night? Yeah. What? What? Just jerk it. I'm gonna set up to just fall for the old abducted and plain sight. Abducted and plain sight. Hey, can I steal your daughter for a couple months? Yes. Wait a second. I think she's abducted. Is this the family? I mean, that guy, I know why he let the guy jerk him off. Look at him. Yeah, that's the family. That little one, the one he was obsessed with. But no, which one's the wife is the left? Yeah. Oh, the kids. Now, so did anybody, did they know that, did the wife know that the husband, did the husband know about the wife? They were all lying to each other. Oh, so they all lied. So no, it wasn't like they all knew what was happening. They were all having an affair with the molester, the whole family. Yeah. But the only thing that people, everyone was aware of was the molesting. Of the daughter. They all wear that, but after that they all fucking fell in love with them. They all banged them again also. And they go, ow. That's the molester with his favorite child. That's the way before he took her to a water park. Imagine a grown man that's not related to your child holding her like that. That's such a molester face and haircut too. Oh dude, dude, that guy comes to your house and starts unbuttoning his shirt and kicks his shoes off and goes, Doc says they got to sleep with your daughter. Which one? He goes, youngest, but doctor's orders, man. Here's the craziest plot. I tried all the like Goldilocks, but the youngest. Do you know why it's called abducted in plain sight? It's not the kidnapping. It's that at night he played a recording of aliens. It was him talking to the little girl going like, you have to mate with this old guy or the whole world ends. Yep. If you don't let this old nut in you after the water park, humans will cease to end. And the little girl's like, I got all of this old man, not at me. But it was really like meet me or you got a, if you intergalactic peace will only happen if you have sex with Gus. Daddy's friend Robert. Sounds like C-3PO. I totally forgot about that part. The whole documentary was crazy that no one remembers the alien part at all. You're like, oh the whole family was fucking the pedophile. Most people can't emotionally get past. For some reason, how dare a mother do that after her kids abducted and all that shit. But there's still something about the dad. And I just know where the guy's like, I know I've caused your family a lot of grief, but you want to do some gay shit with me? Maybe that'll make up for it. He goes, maybe it'll make up for it. I don't know, maybe. Dudes will find it nut anywhere. I tell you that. Oh shit. That alien stuff is pretty fucking great though. I mean, that's a creative way to molest the kids. That documentary blew my mind. And that one, and I hate to bring it up because I've watched it such an uncomfortable amount of times that it's like something could be wrong with me. Blackfish. Oh, about the whales, right? SeaWorld. So good. So dark. Like how mean they are to them. Not just that. We're not terrible to them. You know how the whales turn on the trainers and fucking kill them. Yeah, cause they hate them. That's pretty fucking dark. It's crazy. Cause they hate them. Yeah. And it's so, it's so funny how Palva, they just grab him by the foot and drag him under. Do you know how John Wayne Gacy became a serial killer? We might have to fact check this, but it heard the craziest story. I got told by a guy I was dating. Wait a second. That he was like a normal guy. He had a family. He was involved in the church. He had a job. And then aliens, you heard aliens telling him he has to kill women and rape them? Then he jacked off a dad. No, then he started, he was doing gay shit secretly. He was secretly gay. And he was hooking up with, he was getting fucked up at night and hooking up with young gay men behind his wife's back. And one night, I guess his wife was out of town or something. We're going to have to fact check this. And he had a gay guy over and I guess he forgot he passed out and the gay guy made him breakfast. And he brought him a fruit, like a fruit tray. Fruit tray fruit. Is he going to have a fruit? Yeah. Basically he woke up, saw the guy was there, pulled the knife out, stabbed him in the stomach and immediately came. Really? Yeah. I'm going to try that. And he said the second his knife went into his stomach, he came so hard he could never not do it again. What if that's the only way you can really come? That would suck. Just fucking have, just stab a guy. I think I would just not nut. I think I could just move on with like coloring or finding art. That's what it took. Was you on with Gacy Millestin kids too? No, it was women. Just women. No, it was gay. It was men, right? Was he killing guys? Yeah. Oh, Gacy. Was I right about that story? Did I see the clown? I also date liars. Gacy's the clown. Gacy's the clown. Yeah. He had them all under his base. Yeah, under his house. I'm going to double check this, but I didn't care. I think he had some of the kids dig the holes. Here he goes. Yeah. So, yeah. 16 year old Timothy McCoy on January 3rd is the only instance where he used a knife to kill a victim. The details are after a physical struggle he stabbed McCoy repeatedly in the chest while McCoy was the one who allegedly kicked Gacy in the stomach during the fight. Gacy's fatal blows were directed at the boy's chest. He claimed that he listened to McCoy's gasping and gurgling and he experienced a mind-numbing orgasm. The realization Gacy stated, Gacy stated the involuntary reaction led him to realize that death was the ultimate thrill, the feeling of a sexual thrill from control and fear became a primary motivator for a subsequent 32 murders. Scary. How funny is it though that it's like, that's always the weirdest when guys like Jeffrey Dahmer, there's always those jail interviews. He's like, I don't cry, dad, it's not your fault, I'm just fucked up. I like to just boil people and then acid their bodies and see if I can make zombie people. But I'm still the Jeffrey that you taught how to throw a baseball down. Remember the drill I used on the guy's head? You taught me how to use a drill. You taught me how to drill. I don't wait to get like this, pop, come on. I know I'm fucking weird. It's crazy to think that somewhere out there Jeffrey Dahmer is someone's little boy. Someone's tiny little boy. Isn't it funny? Is it a kid, like smiley little like, should turn around Jeffrey? He's like, yeah. My birthday. I love my mommy. But they're still out there, but we don't hear about them. It was like the golden age of serial killers was like what, the 60s and 70s? I mean they have the serial killer in Austin. Yeah, but they haven't caught them, right? Yeah. Yeah. There was a stretch where serial killers were just murdering people all the time, but it's kind of went away. I don't know if it's went away or if the world's so fucked. So many people are dying now that they're like, oh, a guy killing seven people. I think it's that. It's getting harder now. Yeah, we took down a school of 200 kindergartners in Gaza today. So it's seven dudes that work on Wall Street is nothing. Just the idea of the thing. You start a new podcast? Just the idea of people like going through my last machine of thought. It must be harder to be a serial killer now with the phones and all the surveillance. Why don't we get away with so many of them? You can track somebody now. Back in the 70s, man, you could just kill somebody. That was like the old West. A lot of them are getting solved now. Yeah. I think it more lean on what Kim's saying. The people are like, the way we have to catch people is much better now. But also, there's so much death that it's like, you probably have to rack up 50-some in a very similar way with a calling card before someone would even notice. In Austin. Oh, there's one person that's doing all that. What's the guy in Austin? There's multiple bodies in the water and they're like, it's got to be an accident. There's gay blunt force trauma in all of them. Someone told me this might be a curtsmasker thing. But again, he might be a person thinking that it is a serial killer or not. Someone told me that it's also right by the gay part of town. And this ravine apparently doesn't have a safety thing by it. So it just says it's drunk and high gay guys falling down this ravine. I don't think so. Gay guys don't want to mess up their shoes that close to the water. It's not a ravine where you just have to walk off the sidewalk into the woods to the edge of the water. Okay. Then it's two feet, three feet, four feet. I thought they were off the street or something. The greatest comm is when you kill a man. So maybe there's a guy over there. Watch a boy's life leave his eyes and I just splurt. Yeah, you think I'm happy I saved three men and not one woman. I made the world worse with my heroism. I just saved three rapists. That kid goes on to do some terrible, terrible things would be so bad. Fucking horrible. The Parkinson's guy as soon as he got back to the hotel killed his wife that night. That guy was probably successfully drowning his daughter with his son and I told them I'm happy. It's so funny if the people I saved, they hate white people. I think one of another murder was just assigned to Ted Bundy. They just said that it was confirmed like just recently. At that point it was suspected. But it was confirmed. At that point it sucks to be that victim because people are like, we did that. Yeah, we're past this. It doesn't matter. We already did the TikTok sexy edits for Ted Bundy. We're done. Well, you see how much that affects like families when someone gets like who killed their family and they go to the trial where they get convicted. By the way, even if it's like it's life for killing the other person, they're always still very mad. So the effect that it wasn't their thing that they're going, doesn't matter. You would think they would just go whatever man, as long as he's in jail forever. It's like now it's because he wasn't still found guilty of your kids. Yeah. That's tough. Yeah. It's personal at that point. Yeah. What was the last serial killer? What was the last one? I know there's one in Austin, but have we caught one recently? No, right? No. Didn't they find out who the, didn't like Patton Oswald's wife, like find the Golden Gate Killer and then die? That's pretty crazy. Yeah, right? Did they? We should look into that. You know, everyone kind of laughed and we should really be looking into that. She exposed the Golden Gate Killer who it was and then died. Gary and me eventually, I think they used that and it tracked them down. I think it was her thing. I think it was her investigation. Yeah. The most recently caught was Rex Hewerman. He was caught in 2023 in Long Island, New York. Oh, the Long Island guy. Wait, what year is it? 2023 for the Gilgo Beach. Gilgo Beach Killings. Killings. And it took over a decade. Oh, that's the guy. They went to his house. We got you and he was a guy. He kind of just was like, all right, you got me. Yeah, he was Craigslist prostitutes. Yeah. Yeah. And burying him out in the beach. Yeah, I remember when I first moved to New York, that was the first time. Whoa, Samuel Little confessed to 93 murders and the FBI confirmed at least 60. 93 people. So many. Oh, women. He's like, all right, I may have exaggerated 30. This guy, it looks like a fucking menace. Oh, yeah, he's big boy too. Big boy, big scary boy. He looks mean. I mean, as crazy as a serial killer, I mean, how about the guy, Angel, whatever, who had the three girls in Cleveland in the attic? Oh, was it the basement of the attic? Well, I think they were all over. They were all chained. She was at with a Hydra Kid's Hydra wife, with a Dugard, JC Lee. Oh, no, no. Duggar family. JC Lee Dugard. I believe the one, Pat Nozwald's wife, that serial killer was confirmed he had a very small penis. That was one of the story. One of the, one woman that survived. I think it's in the documentary. Really? I like that they added that. He was super angry about that. He goes, what a small penis. He goes, shut up. He didn't want to kill anybody. That's the whole reason I started this thing. You're serial killer gets super insecure. You're not so great. Maybe your pussy's really big. I don't want to do this anymore. This sucks. It must be fucking raping a girl and she's like, are you going to start? Oh, dude, that's what I love when they call fucking monster a serial killer. What's Eileen Moreno's? I think she was. She was a mind. I gotta be honest with you. If you were going to give money to fuck that fucking slag. You want to be killed after? Your life wasn't much at home anyway. If you're paying cash, Eileen Moreno's on her best day looked like a really ugly guy. I mean, it was brutal. What they had to do to Charlize Theron to make her look like that freak. The hottest actress. Oh my God. What a pud. Make sure you listen to Kim Congdon on her podcast. Just the Kim Congdon takeover and tickets. The Kim Congdon takeover. At kimcongdon.com. Kim Congdon.com. Of course, check out Bobby. He's all over the road. He's going to be a comics Mohegan son. Connecticut. That's April 17th and 18th after that. Uncle Vinny's in New Jersey. Cleveland, Ohio. Stanford, New Orleans. For tickets and all tour dates, go to punchup.live.com slash Robert Kelly. Go to his YouTube page at Robert Kelly Comedy 7 p.m. every Tuesday night. Like tonight at the Fat Black Pussycat. May I promote something real quick? I'm running the comedy dating show tonight at 10 p.m. at the stand. A Comedians competing for love. Big J stopping by Irish Fear, stopping by Lewis Jay Gomez, stopping by to judge. Big Night. Dave Smith, not. Big J is going to be at the Funny Bone in Orlando this weekend, April 10th and 11th. After that, Nashville for story wars. Then he's heading to Kansas City for tickets and all the tour dates. BigJComedy.com YouTube.com slash at Big J. Okusyn and make sure you get DJ Lou's shirts at ComicWareables.com. They're up there right now for you to buy. DJ Lou and Ari wanted me to plug his show. The end pre-sale ends April 16th. You can get all seven episodes for 24 at all. 24.99 before April 16th. After that, it's going to go up to 30 bucks. Shane Gillis, Big J. I mean everybody except for Lewis Gomez is on the show. Everybody. So make sure you check it out. Go right now and buy the full season. Just get the thing right now. Save yourself some money. The end right now. Go buy it. What's the website? Be a Jew for a Jew. What is it? IrishFear.com. That's it. IrishFear.com. Go buy it. Buy it now. We'll be right back. Let's see. Take my money. You, you, and you. Take my money. You, you, and you. Take my money. Gather in the name of chicken. For thou shalt not eat alone. The KFC popcorn bucket. 60 pieces for $5.99. Get the deal. Believe in chicken. KFC. Available until 17th of May. Subject to availability. Participating restaurants only. Not available on delivery. See website for full season sees. Switch to Plusnet's award-winning fourth fibre from just $22.99 a month. Our sweet deal gets you fast and reliable broadband with no activation fee. With speeds up to 900 megabits. Feels like a sugar rush. Full fibre that's full of value. That's a plus. Offer ends 6th of May.