Uber Hella Cool Beans

Well hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there, wherever in the world you're listening right now, we truly appreciate it. Dana here, yeah I'm a sports junkie, I'm a wing lover and of course a smart club member because I trust my home comfort is standard heating and air conditioning and I really think you should too. But right now it's HVACmania and these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted. You can score a $45 coupon on a furnace tuneup, normally $148. And no, it's never too late to show your furnace some love. And if your system is about to crash out like a 5 seat against a 12, now's the time to replace it on your schedule with 0% financing from standard heating and air conditioning. Go to StandardHeating.com and mention 93X. Standard heating and air conditioning. Providing the comfort you deserve since 1930. Oh I love today. I love that final final. Welcome everyone and all of you all to the 93X half-assed morning show. Little bit of this, little bit of that and come 9 o'clock. Any other live human beings in the building, they're going to feel a slight breeze and they're going to wonder where it came from. That'll be us, whipping on by to the exit doors. Been a decent enough week, I ain't mad, but our time has come, Cubby. You're saying we're leaving right at 9? I'm okay with that today. Yeah. I'm freezing. And I'm wondering if that's the sepsis kicking in. Maybe I should get out of here. Have you been stricken with something? I don't know, but for whatever reason I'm shivering over here. It's probably the sepsis because I have been so cold in here lately. Today I'm not, so yeah, you're probably dying. So that breeze could just be the cold coming off me as I walk out of here. I wouldn't mind getting out of here a little early today. Is it a beef walk Friday? Gross. That's disgusting. I'm going to go ahead and ban that word. To answer your question, yes, but gosh, that's nasty. Ashley has made a rule. No more saying BW. Well, it's banned in my house too, so I need to say it here. At least I thought I could say it here, but apparently I can't. You've had your time, Dana. We all learned that together correctly from Minnesota Moses. At least I did. Okay, yeah, it was new to me as well. So you're using that at home a lot? Yeah, that's not allowed. I do like to burn out bits at home quite a bit. Oh, trust me, I'm going to second divorce this impending with the amount of bits I run into the ground. So you're feeling a little funny? Yeah, I was wondering if you guys felt the same. I just thought this is unnatural. I'll tell you what I'm doing. All right. Good. No. Oh, yeah. Even if I was feeling that way, I wouldn't say it out loud. Is that one of the bits that your family was climbing the walls? I just started it. Everything was hella? Hella good. So BW and HG are now banned? HG is not banned yet from my house. Oh, okay. They don't have the balls. You know what? I can say that here because they're not around. I'll tell you what, tighten me up a couple of nights ago watching the twins game with somebody on the announced team said, I think they were talking about a pitcher. This guy's been Uber effective. Hey, I'm glad that's gone away. Wow. So you're saying someone's trying to bring it back? Oh, I don't know if they're trying to bring it back. They only dumped it into the mix once, but I tightened up on the couch real quick when he said that. Remember? I hate that crap. Remember when everything around here was Uber? Yes, I do. That's probably why I tightened up on the couch. I hadn't heard it in years. And this is before it was a ride share. People would say Uber all that, nothing to do with the company. Good idea. I think it's fair to explain that, yeah, this is in no reference to the cab company. 15, 20 years ago, you couldn't cross the room without someone referring to something as Uber good or Uber bad. Why plus that's such a joke. I don't know. I don't know. I remember using that. Yeah. But I'm watching the ball game the other night and the announcer said, this pitcher is Uber effective. And I just, I, I don't blame you. I locked up. I locked up and then I let it go. I like some of those when they start and everybody's using them and it's kind of like everyone's bonding over a particular new phrase. But for whatever reason, that one always, I don't know, it made me cringe a little bit. It just seemed weird. We could do this all day. And you know, I, I get aggravated by those little trendy sayings and everybody hops on board and they all think they're the only one. You're hearing it everywhere you go, but everyone who says it acts like they're the only one and they're thrilling you with this cool new term. Or the first. And I'm just pouring sweat because you can't kill them. Yeah. You really aren't supposed to. It depends. I, I get probably shouldn't even injure them. So there you go. I like people to be happy. I don't want to rain on anyone's parade. I'm not somebody that's going to ban something, but shoot set deer seven times and Mrs. Jesus wants to know if the phrase cream pie is banned. No, you can go ahead and use it, but that's one that makes me kind of lock up. Like what happened with you with Uber? Like that's a, that's not, you're not the type of guy to step up and say, I want to make a rule. No, I mean, you go ahead. Who am I to tell you what you can and can't say or what you enjoy, but that just for whatever reason, that visual disgusts me. Ashley will open ban a word or two. I'll, I'll ban something now. You just not, that's not in your nature to ban a term because the rest of us might enjoy it. And as you said, you want people to be happy. You go ahead. You don't like the term cream pie. Others do. You're going to let them have their fun. Is there a term you guys can't stand for? You'd have to say I'm out. Oh, I'm sorry. Like a sex. It's just like too descriptive. Oh God. Yeah. There's plenty of them. Can you, is there one you can say on the radio safely? I'm not sure if I can say this one. Okay. Maybe write it down. I will. A sex act, a sexual term that discusses us a little bit. Yeah, I'd have to, I'd have to hear them out loud and then. Yeah, I hate that. I didn't see it. I didn't see it. Can you show it to me? You can say that. Squirt. Oh. I hate that word. Don't say that word. It was a refreshing soda back in the day, but it kind of took on a new meaning that once you became an adult. It is a very good soda. You can only find it. It's very rare. Now even, Beard Jesus, he's gone a step further. He doesn't even like people saying oatmeal cream pies anymore just because of the associate. Oh. Those are so good. I've never associated the two of those together because that's a delicious treat. He's really bothered then. Oh, here, no rest for the wicked. Short but fat Jesus doesn't like no rest for the wicked. What? I had a friend that would say, she doesn't like that saying. I guess not. You get out of bed in the morning and you got to go to work. Well, no rest for the, okay. I had a boss who I was friendly with. She would say wicked to everything. Everything was wicked cool, wicked this, wicked wicked wicked. I like that. She's also the first person I ever heard say cool beans. Oh, I don't like that one. I hadn't heard that before. You guys hear anybody say cool beans? Not for a number of years. Not for a long, long time. And yeah, that one must be lost on the young people because the other day we went out and celebrated my nephew's birthday and my wife and I were looking for a card for the kid. He turned 25, six. I'm not sure. My wife and I were looking for a birthday card and you know, birthday cards, Jesus. They're so stupid most of them are so frigging. I suppose if you go online or go to a specialty shop, I'm sure you can find, you know, a some hilarious birthday cards. But if you just go to a general pharmacy or something, the jokes are so dumb. Anyway, they're running out of ideas. They've run almost completely out of ideas. So I mean, the kids 25, six, we're not going to sit there all day and try to pick the perfect birthday. So we found a birthday card and it's got two green beans on the cover and they're wearing sunglasses. I already love it. Then you crack open the card and it says, it's your birthday, huh? Cool beans. Excellent. We thought it was so dumb. We had to buy it. Yeah, we watched the 25, six year old kid open it up at the birthday party and he sees the cover and he opens it up. He must not have understood it at all because he closed it and he didn't even say thank you. Oh man. And so my wife nudges me and says he didn't like the card. I said, no, he did not. My wife finally come around because she used to give me a whole lot of crap because when it came to buying cards, I would just grab the first one I saw and then I'd look at it on the way to the register and if it kind of made sense, perfect. I've even bought one that didn't make sense. I just crossed out what it said and said happy birthday instead of sorry, your pet passed away. And now she's kind of doing that. Now she doesn't, because she would spend forever in the aisle trying to find the perfect card and I tell her like just write one if it's that important to me. People barely read. Well, I guess I've barely ever read them. Do people really read them and think, wow, this is so meaningful the way you picked out the perfect one that Hallmark wrote for me. I usually read. I usually do. I save my cards too, but I'm sentimental in that way. Like if I have to buy a card for somebody, I'm going to be there for a minute. Are you really? Well, so that's how she was. I think she's changing a little bit. Yeah. But that cool beans card, that is awesome. Especially if it's like a Valentine's Day card or an anniversary card, Josh, I'll like sit there and then I'll, I end up crying at some point because I'm just like, God, I love love so much. It's just I'm a mess. You like the cool beans card. That's funny. Well, we gave it to the wrong person. Maybe that's good. The kid was too young. Probably like you said, or somebody said, maybe he's totally unaware of that little saying because he's not from the nineties. GoodmorefitaFurysheez has said she works in analytics and coding and it drives her up the walls every time someone tells them not to bother them while they're coding because they're locked in. She says, calm down. You're not solving world hunger. Hold on. Hold on. I'm locked in. Oh, you know, everyone's texting in. What's the most hated word in the world? Yeah. Moist. Yeah. I love that word. I didn't even want to play along just because it's kind of. Yeah, the word doesn't bother me. I think it's one of the things where everybody hates it because they're taught to hate it or everybody, they just want to go along with the bit. You have to be taught to hate. It reminds me of cake. Cake? Yeah, like a nice moist cake. Delicious. I've never liked that word either, I guess. Not because I was taught that. I've just kind of grew to make it make me cringe a little bit. I'm still trying to come up with that sexual based slang that turns me away like cream pie does for cubby. I can't think of any. Shoot, the text, they're coming in fast and thank you by the way for checking in here via text for locking in via text. Somebody said they don't like any of them. They don't like any. They don't like any term, you know, like I don't know what's another dirty Sanchez or there's I'm sure there's some grosser ones out. I can't think of any really, but they don't like any of them that just kind of makes them cringe. I get that to a certain extent. I think it depends how it's said to like I there's a lot that like I've turned to my husband and like don't say that. You don't need to say that out loud. It's fine. What about penetrate? Penetrate that doesn't trouble me at all. I can think of one I've referenced on this show once that you guys almost just kicked my ass for when you refer to a lady's breasts as chest beefers. That's just don't like that. That's just stupid is all that is. So immature and this is an immature television or radio. I was searching for something kind of stomach churning. Got that's on a different that's in a different category. That's just totally stupid and confusing. Chest beefers that. Oh that must be English or something because it's so that's gross. It's so unfunny and uninteresting that it must be English. There's a couple here that I. Okay. There's we were actually Nick and I were just talking about one of these acts earlier this morning strangely enough. You know I'm talking about Nick. Yeah go ahead. I think I know and say that can't we because you can use it. Fingering. Ah yeah. Yeah. That that one I haven't enjoyed either. Meaning the word I've never had it done to me yet. I'm trying to look up some of these terms now for whatever reason they're not just coming to mind. So I'm trying to get on the Internet here and. Oh I mean you know so much of this could be categorized differently. You know when you said you don't like cream pie what I've been trying to do is roll through all of the descriptive terms you see on a porno movie right squirting cream pie right that when you're looking up what kind of movie you want to watch on a on a porn page pegging uh bukkake right that that's kind of what I was thinking so that's I'm trying to come up with one that sends me running the other way the ones that I've said out loud don't um some of them probably should but they don't sicken me can we say the one that starts with a B and it references what maybe I shouldn't say it's like a hot Carl I don't know what you mean what I'll tell you like you know how you can have pumpkin pie yeah you understand where I'm going with that no I didn't write anything yet you just approached me with a piece of paper that you hadn't written anything on yet okay I'm not a huge fan of the boner really they're talking about growing pains character or the male erection male erection okay this male erection though females can't there's isn't there something that can get well nipples can get it that way lady boner yeah like I said the terms that I've said out loud so far don't repulse me I've gotten used to those terms I don't necessarily click on all of those videos I I'm not the kind of guy that's gonna sit and watch a pegging video but the terms don't bother me I'm used to them Josh has just written down a sexual term that starts with the letter B I have no idea if this is okay to say out loud or not I thought somebody got somebody in radio got in trouble for that I have no idea yeah what about somebody doesn't like meat curtains that's kind of gross yeah yeah see that's where I was going with this is there are so many different I mean like right now I'm on a website that just lists sexual terms one of them clapping cheeks doesn't bother me is that like like twerking or is there more than one person involved I don't know clapping cheeks is just like you know sex yeah I don't know I mean I think it more taught like means like from behind because you know they're right clapping oh yeah yeah I don't like that what about just this not a sexual turn as far as I know somebody doesn't like the word ointment yeah that one comes up a lot I don't mind that yeah that doesn't bother me for some reason slinging ropes yep that's nasty that's just funny to me you throw them you don't sling them just for the record I think you could do either for burger well I heard that since 1986 you know for the longest time well yeah yeah for quite a while I never understood the lyrics to an old Van Halen song I mean just a terrific song one of my favorites an old Van Halen song called drop dead legs off the 1984 record David Lee Roth wrote it up and he was such a friggin genius in the in the song he says throw my rope loop de loop maybe I shouldn't finish the rest because and as a kid I thought what the hell is he talking about throw my rope loop de loop what are you a cowboy I didn't get it got a little older I'm like okay I know what Dave was talking about loop de loop alright so yeah I can't come up with anything Josh what about discharge that words come in a few times here we're moving away from sexual terms and words in general related I sure aftermath related yeah yeah not the most pleasant word in the world but still I'm not exactly running the other way but this isn't I'm sure someone could come up with something this person says would you be turned off by somebody asking would you mind if I put my girth certificate in your ham wallet oh my god out of here no I wouldn't mind you stop that right now I'm a lot girth certificate I'm so glad I came into work today that's good okay yeah the listeners are getting very deep and dark here now in the text machine trying to gross us out or come up with a sexual term or any kind of a term to get us to run out the room and appreciate the effort appreciate all the text messages but we just simply can't say some of this stuff out loud absolutely not yeah she loop de loop nice white teeth Betty Boop that's the rest of that song lyric thought it might be smart to separate them alright so yeah I don't know bearded clam me what about this is not a sexual thing but this person doesn't like when people use the word wonderful and this would maybe go back to the uber type I'm a sucker for that one like are you full of wonder is that right is it wonderful I know some people don't like awesome for the same reason I say wonderful absolutely there's a gal that I know whose nickname is wonderful or I call her the woman of many wonders because she's always grouchy so I kind of go yeah I thought that's such a compliment wow awesome of course was huge in the 80s I couldn't help myself everything was awesome oh yeah great tune but yes I absolutely use that overused it way too much had an older guy at a warehouse job I was working in high school had an older guy snap at me because he'd heard me say the word awesome too often looking back now I don't blame him because I'm sure I was just burying him in awesome and finally he just he snapped I know I need to apologize a few people don't like bro or any form of bro bro breath I use that a lot me too I do too a little go to the point where I get embarrassed where I'd say it to the wrong person but like my if a doctor okay alright that's it for the checkup thanks bro I realize what am I doing I just said bro the medical professional who has multiple degrees maybe bro pooping in your shoes Jesus least favorite words he says monogamy pregnant it's yours commitment marriage those ones he doesn't like yeah you know in an attempt in an attempt to find a sexual term that will get me to backpedal I hope I don't get in trouble for this but on my personal phone now I've dialed up a porno search engine or whatever they call it you know like a porn hob type of a yeah and I'm trying to find let's see here my sweet 19 year old okay I'll move away from that one I don't like the word either wet you don't like that I'm I'm I'm I've just punched up categories and it's all in alphabetical order yeah starting with AI amateur anal I'm trying to find one that would get me to leave the room and again not that I'm clicking on all of these different types of videos in my free time but I'm used to the term I'm used to seeing it it doesn't shock me I'm into the seas now cream pie is in there Josh yeah cockled okay okay maybe I've found one that at least has an effect on me and that term is fisting mmm it at least has an effect on me at least I twitch a little bit okay I can understand why okay I found another one Josh gaping yep so I was ironworker Jesus just text that in I agree this is what I needed this is I needed to read them in alphabetical order and okay I don't like that one yeah that shouldn't be that shouldn't even be a category there I it appears I've blown through all of them and okay so we found two I would have felt incomplete to leave this conversation with at least without at least finding one or two so we got that done yeah that's a bad one I just don't want ever like too much descriptive talk while it's happening I don't need that more of a visual person you don't need to hear described yeah just we are we are different in that way aren't we men and women yeah we dudes we want we would prefer it if a play-by-play guy described or woman was in the room with us describing everything oh dude you just totally did this to her oh dude look at her blank and look at her like see I don't even like that that gets us that gets us hot hearing about it in the moment right even if it's like a compliment I'm just like yeah women just want us to shut up yeah oh I totally just did this to your thing yeah I don't like that at all and the women look at us like yeah I'm aware of that thank you for that information that's that's totally a thing I never really know what to say back either I'm just like yep you're you're right you call that a thing after what I did do it and it's weird because like over text message like sexting it doesn't bother me at all but yeah in the in the actual moment and no no no no prolapse yeah yeah forgot about that one that makes me shiver there's one here uh um were you earned your Detroit hockey team sure yeah yeah that one that's something right there all right are we are we significantly grossed out I think we've covered a lot of things that make people's stomach churn a little bit we've ruined some breakfast this morning earlier than normal usually it takes till the stupid news till we ruin the breakfast I have so many things to do here today we have so many things to do we might as well get headed in the right direction Randy Shaver is going to be here later and I'll tell you again what I said earlier on I love today I love the final final um well try to have as many laughs as possible and then if you even think about getting ahold of us after 9 a.m. you can go after yourself we'll be back with the stupid news here in a few minutes half-assed morning show 93x well hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there wherever in the world you're listening right now we truly appreciate it Dana here yeah I'm a sports junkie I'm a wing lover and of course a smart club member because I trust my home comfort is standard heating the air conditioning and I really think you should too right now it's HVAC mania and these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted you can score a 45 dollar coupon on a furnace tuneup normally 148 bucks and no it's never too late to show your furnace of love and if your system is about to crash out like a five seat against a 12 now's the time to replace it on your schedule with 0% financing from standard heating and air conditioning go to standard heating dot com and mention 93x standard heating and air conditioning providing the comfort you deserve since 1930 years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back your shoulders your knees maybe your joints you need help Randy Shaver here with the answer Dave B. Alke he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers compensation benefits for people just like you don't suffer call be Alke law today 7635712410 or go to be Alke law dot com that's b i a l k e law dot com and it spells relief for you hey there I'm Paula Pan I help people make the smartest money decisions possible Joe you know what's been great about being a saver for money in the bank and that money over the past couple of years has made a pretty good yield pre-pandemic money was making zero now it's actually making something but that's starting to go down down down I love how we can play the fact that inflation has been really high as a positive but if you're a saver you know what that means to change silver lining Joe silver lining afford anything follow and listen on your favorite platform stupid news on the half-assed morning show yeah absolutely this is gonna be something you know Josh do you know why it's so great that there will always be David Lee Roth era van Halen around to enjoy until the end of time why is that because it will always be there to remind people of how much their favorite band sucks we were talking earlier about different possibly upsetting sexual terms sexual slang I mentioned that there's an old van Halen song called drop dead legs from the year in 1984 and in the lyrics David Lee Roth wrote throw my ropes loop-de-loop and as a 13 year old kid I had no idea what he meant by that as I got a little older I understood throwing ropes is of course a slang term for a massive money shot and if you don't know what a money shot is it's too late for you but anyways while we have some time I just wanted to call attention to the rest of the lyrics and the song drop dead legs because it's so David Lee Roth it's so hilarious so much fun he starts out with drop dead legs pretty smile hurts my head gets me wild dig that steam giant butt makes me scream I get a none none nothing but the shakes over you and nothing else could ever do and then they go into the main part of the you know that you want and then that he gets to the good stuff in the second verse where he says dig those moves vampire set me loose get it higher throw my rope loop-de-loop nice white teeth Betty Boop there will never be another Dave Roth ever medical device Jesus you know this is funny it's the same way for name a band but especially ones with legendary guitar players medical device Jesus said still don't hear any lyrics all I hear is I'm the same way I'm exact same way Ashley yesterday touched a couple of player hearts with a with a text message she sent out to Josh and I yesterday and she sent us a video of her little baby watching Mr. Big concert videos and he's just a little baby of course but he's watching Eric Martin and Billy Sheen and Paul Gilbert and the late great Pat Torpy performing live in Japan in the early 90s that's what you were showing your kid on television yesterday I thought that was wonderful he seemed he seemed very interested and then I I had him watch some live Van Halen and then I had him watch from what year oh shoot I cannot remember yeah I believe so but then we quickly know when you're looking at Dave we quickly switched to Eddie then Eddie's guitar solos for a while oh yeah it was pretty cool um watching his guitar solos when he was younger because he would like I believe it was had to be him that I was watching he would smoke his cigarette and then put it in the top of his guitar yeah that is so cool so you were watching uh that was actually Sammy Hagar era so the kid's off uh to a bad start but you were watching that live without a net from 1986 where they're playing in New Haven Connecticut and yes yeah Eddie's wearing a white tank top and pink pants and he does that long solo or yes he puts his cigarette to sticks it on the exposed strings of his guitar neck yeah that is I love that all I had to say was that and you know exactly what video I'm talking about that's a magical solo that's been shared million that's a beautiful performance by Ed so just don't show him too much Sammy okay yeah all right it was so bad I don't get the wrong idea who get he'll get the idea that Van Halen wasn't Van Halen but he's got plenty of years to work on this and you know he seems like a great guy but don't show him any Gary Chirom even in extreme and Nuno Betancourt's another one of my favorite guitar players but it was really interesting you know watching this video that you sent with Mr. Big live in concert on the television and then you just kind of shot the video from your baby's perspective and just to see him kind of looking at the tv saying hey that's kind of cool what's that right yeah my buddy Curtis used to play his oldest daughter iron maiden concert videos when she was a tiny little kid and she grew to really love the theatrics of it all all that being a tiny little kid that's my goal and her favorite part of course of watching any iron maiden concert was Eddie coming out on stage and if you're a maiden fan you know what it means when we say Eddie comes out on stage Curtis's little daughter became a fan of Eddie and she would even sit and watch iron maiden videos with her dad and she would get bored and she'd poke her dad and say when did they get to the scary guy which was Eddie coming out on stage yeah I want them to be way cooler than I am so I figured this is a good start that's a great start you're doing the right thing all right what do we got here the stupid news if you want to see a good video it sounds like quite a few people have been enjoying this one here and I'm gonna go ahead and tell you all about it by god I am you know sometimes like say in the movies when someone ups and dies it seems that the dead person can sometimes leave their body and then hover in the air maybe even at their own funeral they're able to float in the air and watch the whole smear go down right well if that's true this would be flattering for any man any dead man to see at his own funeral there's video out there summers and it's going round and round a dude checked out they put him in the casket and at his funeral two women cut loose and started to fight right over the top of the dead bastard's casket they took to hand fighting with each other and that was because the women in that moment learned that the dead dude was banging both of them before he upped and died is this your dream do you want this to happen it's any man's dream that's that's why I started the story the way I did Josh definitely could just see you though like put it out in your will yeah if you're the deadfeller Josh and you are floating above the scene of your own funeral I mean you've got a eating grin on your face don't you uh seeing a fight over that yeah they're fighting over him after death yeah I don't know if I'd want it to be for that reason but that was a odd one of the more odd fights I've ever seen well it's just kind of a it's just kind of a hand scratching they're like kind of pulling at each other yeah and the top of pulling at each other yeah and the top of the conference coming off wait a minute you don't want to see two women fight over you while you're floating above your own funeral uh no not really I got you know there's one woman for me oh well you let it go we've been together uh almost 20 years come on come on it's gotta be a little party uh that would be like sweet no Jesus she's really she's really got you on a freaking leash doesn't she well she's listening this morning damn right I'd say they only fight over the great ones yeah well I'd love that yeah two dudes boxing each other at the church over Ashley's dead body I want like uh because you know I'm like you Josh I love my husband so I would prefer to only be with him but it would be cool if it was like dudes from like 34 well I hope I live longer than that I don't know like 60 years ago and they're still mad because they couldn't like live their life with me so you want to pull on royal rumble yeah that's different I think my wife you know she'd be of course just so happy at my funeral right that I'm finally gone I don't want to ruin it for her by having her to get in a fight with somebody else but she'd kick everyone's ass oh my gosh yeah probably she'd be so beaten up Ashley you want all of them showing up yeah I don't know if there's a big enough church my wife found out that her dad had a second family at a hospital when he was dying um she came you know her and her mom and sister one more time start that over one more time my wife found out that her dad had a second family when they visited him at the hospital just like out of a television show oh man that's or in this this case that is absolutely awesome she's 12 years old she goes to the hospital everyone's so sad and they're like wow that poor family over there they seem so sad as well oh my god and realize they're sad over the same guy well I know I think I would just stop crying and be like oh this doesn't matter anymore my mind went straight to the logistics of how that guy was able to pull that off because that just sounds exhausting I bet it was yeah I thought even just dating multiple people was my multiple like two or three right I only did that a couple years of my life that was stressful because you'd be like oh yeah hey remember when we did this oh my god no that wasn't us oh I that was the worst I sucked at that too or I would I had a bad run where like I wouldn't save people's numbers even if I was talking to them for like weeks I don't know what was wrong with me I just couldn't save a number so there was times where I would accidentally tax back the wrong number and I'm like ah I'd have to spin it like no this was totally meant for you it can be confusing it can be exhausting to have multiples you got one on this end of town you got one on that end of town so again here's a dead guy in his casket and two women I mean they damn near spilled the dead body out onto the floor I thought it was gonna go they were like we said hand fighting directly over his casket and he must not have been the biggest sum bitch because just these the weight of these two women hand fighting over the top of the casket almost spilled his carcass out onto the floor is the video up on our website it's about to be it's a lot of fun it doesn't last too long they are separated um at one point or another they are uh the two pissed off ladies who realized they were both f and the same dude only after he checked smooth out they started fighting over a bouquet of flowers that had been dumped on to the casket they're fighting over that this hilarious disaster if you care took place in a town called Vera Cruz Mexico it says here one of the gals involved realized that the other gal was also banging the dead guy when one of them whispered into the casket she whispered my love I'm going to miss you what'd you say a bitch pardon me that's absolutely hilarious you can't make it up cubby yeah I'm I'm trying to imagine like what that would be like let me just the confusion I do you think with the amount of rage she had that maybe she suspected because I think I'd be so confused for a while I wouldn't be able to hand fight over a coffin yeah I would have to have a conversation quick with some questions like maybe she's confused they both probably suspected over the years before his death that maybe he was pinning something on the side yeah yeah I think that's safe to say I do I do love the video it is weird it's like a weird kind of fight like I'd be embarrassed if that was me yeah they didn't really know how to fight it was like watching a baseball fight yeah I remember in fourth grade uh I got a fight with a kid and you know there's a crowd like there is in grade school and I heard somebody say it looks like my grandmas are fighting I was pretty embarrassed I better learn how to fight oh man there's a lot of automobile related gang bangs happening the rest of today's report reflects that automobile related I said and I think we've got another video for you I think that's the deal this here video involves a dude who I mean by damn he smashed his car smooth into somebody house well the story calls it a house to me it looks like a building on a city street but I'll just go ahead anyway this happened in Wales or some stupid place like that she's all on video in the video here comes the dude he's behind the wheel of some cute little black convertible type of motor vehicle he's a rolling down the road and then suddenly he goes all sideways and as my buddy Curtis would say smash Ola he hits that house slash building on a city street he hits it horde son real horde and then there he sets in the middle of the street smoke pouring out from the hood my guess is the driver was trying to figure out what the f just hit him you know who put that building there kind of a thing here's the fun part when someone came out the house slash building on a city street when someone came out to ask him how he was doing in there the driver brilliantly said yeah I'm all right but my buddy the one who was driving he ran off he's quick on his feet yeah I'm good but my buddy who was driving he ran away but I'll tell you this when I find him I'm gonna kick his ass nobody was buying that of course no god no you know maybe he took a hit to the head and really thought there was a body I'd never do anything that stupid I don't know about that cubby because next thing that happened a different car pulls up onto the scene Dinkus hops in and he gone the local cops are trying to find this prick he's still on the run and they're also trying to find his body obviously that the guy who was driving the mystery man the folks who own that house slash building on a city street uh they're freaking pissed uh their place is mangled yeah I'd be pretty bothered this guy's not gonna take any responsibility to me it looks like uh somebody might have a few too many Steve Weisers that'd be my guess yeah I'm all right the other guy the one who ran away the one who was driving total dick can you believe that did you see you oh you didn't see him yeah he ran very fast uh here's a couple real cutie pies oh uh Josh uh they were visiting the piss poor far southeastern portion of the United States visiting tourists served some right for going down there but anyways these two uh slap bags uh are in trouble with uh John Law they were driving down the road with a dead alligator strapped to the roof of the vehicle that is so redneck why would you do and that ain't allowed down there I guess Josh you think they did the uh that's not going anywhere you have to of course it's law even even with an alligator 100% dude that's hilarious are you allowed to do that anywhere I don't think so I don't know any animal I think I have enough alligators here to Tennessee it's allowed ash well I because I've seen like uh pictures of people where like they don't have much room so they'll like strap a deer just about anywhere and I always thought like that cannot be allowed well it used to be because it used to be quite common just to tie your kill to the roof of your vehicle it must have in the 70s and 80s that must have been legal because damn near every deer hunter that I know did exactly that I don't see it anymore so my guess is it became illegal at one point or another yeah I remember seeing that yeah sure just tie it to the lid of the vehicle I looked it up and the first thing that came up was it is generally discouraged talking about the deer or yeah the deer yeah maybe uh maybe it was always legal and people just have found better ways to transport their deer I don't know but all I can tell you is what I already said it was way more common when I was a kid to see that in November yeah I thought I remembered seeing that I thought that was more normal but so what happened now oh yeah these two guys were driving down the road with a dead alligator strapped to the lid of the vehicle and Ashley said that is so redneck and you're right but you'd be surprised uh we'll get there so there were folks driving here and there that spotted these two guys whipping through town with a dead alligator up on the lid those folks called the authorities some locals who crossed paths with Dinkus and other Dinkus remember there were two guys in the car some folks who crossed paths with them pulled them aside and said hey you boys can't be running around with a dead alligator that's the illegal so the fellers took to cover in the dead gator with a sheet a ghost gator I wanted to say it do they put little eye holes in there eventually they were pulled over the two of them by the names of Anthony and March like the month it's only the second person I've ever heard of in my lifetime whose first name was March really I've never heard that before was that a guy or a girl guy March interesting April or August June when I was a kid one of my buddy's dad's name was March you can just do that I can just like I could have named my son like October March I suppose January that's another one Ashley sometimes you forget the obvious that's probably what's happening right now you should know especially these days you can name a kid anything these days that's true yeah dude's name was March anyway Anthony and March that's the name of the two fellers who had the uh alligator up on the they told the cops they were trying to find a taxidermy shop so they could have the gator stuffed as a souvenir from their cute little vacation together there's nothing in here on whether or not Anthony and March killed the gator yeah that I just find it on the side of the road that's what they claim they claim they found it dead yeah they said we didn't kill it was already dead oh I missed that part okay so they say they didn't that's even weirder now the the two of them got to make another trip to town in a few weeks when they go to court now the side note here Ashley was saying that sounds so redneck you would think that these two fellers would be redneck or lowlife meth heads or something uh they look like two broken down jay brones in the in the picture they look somewhat disheveled in their mug shots but it says here one of them is an architect and the other is a quote world traveler who speaks four languages and has attended acting classes at a prestigious school well they definitely don't look at right they look they don't look like they've ever won a knowledge bowl or no they look troubled so what the hell are two guys like that doing driving around in the middle of the night with a gator carcass on the lid of their car uh well their answer was that was their souvenir you know they're gonna tell people that they killed it they like wrestled it oh i mean they've got a story or two i bet sure yeah i remember when i was a kid my my dad had a buddy who every deer he shot and there was a lot of them he had to bring it over to our driveway with the poor bastard you know tongue hanging out yeah tied to the top of the station wagon look what i got it was over and over and over again now i don't i don't see many deer carcasses up on the lid of any vehicles i like seeing that on my way well i guess it depends if i got a deer myself or not but i usually like seeing that on the way back from from deer camp on the back of everybody's tailgate it's kind of cool it's uh you know it's kind of a it's that time of a year type feeling that you get it's like we're in it together like yeah look at us look at you and me i just uh i enjoy uh november you know right around that time period like when i'm driving up north and i'll see a carload of jabroni's all wearing blaze orange and i always think to myself right or wrong i always think to myself those boys have been drinking beer today yeah yeah there's something about that or like when you're when you're out there and you go into like a restaurant in the middle of the day and there's fellow fellow hunters in the restaurant that's i don't know it's just such a good feeling it's a vibe yeah all right in california where twisted sister recorded their legendary live concert video from san Bernadino in 1984 in california uh a total uh dick pile uh he got arrested what did he do now he demanded free gas at a gas station well who said anything about free gas that that stuff isn't free is it now you're supposed to pay for it so expensive you got to pay for it i mean we've had giveaways oh yeah oh yeah that used to be yeah if you go to a store they do require payment that used to be a thing around here the free gas we had people coming on corked for that and understandably so so a guy and the neighborhood cops have this all on video too apparently i didn't see the video but the uh dick pile he walked into the gas station and he said yeah i'll take 55 dollars worth of free gas please and when he was told that there was no such thing as free gas anywhere in the world nor has there ever been any such thing as free gas in the history of mankind the dick pile he sat down there at the gas station he crossed his arms in front of his chest and he refused to leave he said we'll see about that i'm gonna go ahead and sit here until you give me free gas for my vehicle so here come the police and they naturally asked this guy you know uh what's wrong with you are you ready for this now uh dick pile said i don't believe that money as a unit of payment i don't believe that it's real i don't believe in money they want you to leave because you have in paper gas i sincerely believe that money as a unit of payment is not real i love that kind of bit another one of those i don't follow the rules of your society type people walking around in a constant state of madness i don't believe that money as a unit of payment is real and it always seems like they presented as if they're so enlightened yes the rest of us are moron yes mershiep yeah we follow the rules is this part true josh or is this a joke it says the cops sent in a negotiator to debate with this nut bag over whether money was real or not i think it was more like saying our you know our cops are good negotiators just themselves you know like well we can work things out not an actual negotiator oh i'm a terrible negotiator are you you wouldn't have to send in a negotiator if that was ever appropriate if i took something like a bank hostage or something like that yeah i would i'd give in right away they'd do yeah whatever their first thing was i'd give into that i'm sorry for bothering you i might have a list of demands but i probably would get out of there without receiving one even like the free pizza right dude wanted free gas because he didn't believe in money so and it's also presented in a way like what are you gonna do now right you weren't expecting that were you in the end dick pile went to jail give us a break with that crap will you i don't believe in this and that shut up it is money is real laws are real save your brilliant alternative theories because we don't care because i'd imagine if this guy gets his car stolen all of a sudden laws do become really isn't that funny how that works yeah it's it is weird that's just because they're enlightened and they can decide when it's good and when it's not i gotta say if i was ever a cop and somebody pres you they decided that they were gonna say something like that the first thing i would do is uh have to FaceTime you nick to make sure you saw it it finally happened i haven't yet encountered one of those sovereign citizen your rules don't apply to me i've yet to encounter one of those people uh face to face ski i have once but it was like something they put on their car so i don't know if it was a joke or if they legitimately believed it what do you mean do you want to be specific i was like they had like a sticker and a license plate surround whatever you call that that indicated like a template thing yeah whatever that's called and they uh that indicated they were sovereign citizens wow so i don't know if they were a messing round or if that was legit huh well they have a license plate isn't that you know against what they believe i don't know these people confuse me good question here from a listener good question from a listener texted in i wonder if that's some bitch uh thought that handcuffs were real were they these handcuffs feel real to me it almost feels like i'm under arrest for breaking your laws oh this is really good this person would hire that guy asap and when the paycheck shows up hit him with money isn't real a lot of zeros on that you understand right it's basically a blank piece of paper to you yeah right that's so funny how you can go one way with it but when it goes the other way you'll have a completely different set of beliefs f me runnin before we go uh what do you make of this beer made from bath and laundry water yeah i'm exhausted by all the beer yeah me too the various way yeah like oh this one has i'm tired of it donuts this one has uh twizzlers what about like you know the only fans people that make you know beer out of their bath water just sell the bath water that kind of thing yeah you know everyone's got their angle because they want to be noticed and yeah but i'm a little tired it just just hand me a freaking beer without there being 79 different are there any i mean i know you're a domestic beer guy but are there any of those fancy beers for lack of a better way to put it like a specialized brew that you like no like a seasonal one or whatever i mean again uh this is a beer made from bath and laundry water if it's the only kind of beer you got i guess i could try to force three or four of them down yeah i'll try what am i gonna do not drink beer but no i like it old school you know dana you kind of seem like someone um who might like a taphouse or whatever they call it where they've got like a wall of different no absolutely not i can't stand those places oh really no that's surprising me no seem to be pretty open minded i i don't really drink but i thought those were cool i prefer like regular beer but i i still like going to those places and try new things especially when you look at the abv and it's like 12 oh i'm like oh yeah baby let's go that's usually like go by when i'm at those places actually i go all right well i gotta be here let's find the one that's gonna get the job done the quickest yeah i like like mango flavored beers those are usually pretty good i i like i said um i'm burned out on the all the specialized beer i understand i don't hate them and like i said if it's all you got i'll give it a shot um but traditionally i'm a old style bud wiser old milwaukie oh i love an old milwaukie oh my god i like yeah i like those places a lot but i've never tried any of them like it seems cool to me you should go there and just get the darkest beer you know what i had guiness once and i thought it was going to be miserable i didn't mind it at all oh really i love guiness i love dark beer like that it's very filling but it's delightful a san francisco company they're stirring up steve wisers made from recycled shower and laundry water friggin hippies they got two styles that they mixed up for you one of them goes by the name of shower our IPA the other is laundry club colch colch kol they say when you piss it out it smells like tide sports on the 93 eggs half-assed morning show i mean i'll go back through i think the game's a little it gets a little raw you know i liked a lot of things we did tonight but we didn't fight away to win the game like i said i think some of the goals that we gave up are preventable just with some details on things and like everything you evaluate the game evaluate the players and and move on you move on he says that's a pigs head coach gene snitzki he says they didn't do enough to win last night well change that do something about it do something about yeah you're there you're the guy running things up pigs had a very spirited game with the dallas stars last night you know everyone was looking forward to it this is the pre uh how do you say it just do you play off preview and they're still jostling back and forth for that home ice advantage in the opening round uh the stars got the better of them the last night by one goal snitzki you better buck up there son you got to make a run here or we're going to be pissed and state of hockey is going to turn on your ass state of hockey they still got three more games to play uh starting tomorrow in nashville tennessee popular joint oh i'll tell you right now twins went ahead and swept the bastards how about that yay were you mad about that ashley uh no yeah my body immediately attacks at me and was like i don't think they're gonna lose a game i don't think they're gonna lose a game this season now it's like ah yeah it's good to have hope 156 and six yep go ahead and take me out to the friggin ball game twins beat the tigers what was it four to one i i don't know if i won three one three two i would just uh having a wonderful time brooks lee guy was swinging the bat like he had never played baseball before in the first 12 13 games of the season but he got the tie breaking two runs single to win the game for the twins yesterday happy for that kid he was really struggling but he got her done and he was pumped i don't know if you saw the the moment or saw the uh highlights uh brooks lee's reaction to getting that game winning hit was hilarious was like feeling of relief i mean he just went wild he went wild and his teammates were very supportive so uh what's happening now they go to canada for a series uh wolves at the houston rockets tonight much more to cover much more to cover here in a half hour randy shaver brad writer uh but don't go nowhere cubby's news reports coming up next half-assed morning show 93x well hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there wherever in the world you're listening right now we truly appreciate it dana here yeah i'm a sports junkie i'm a wing lover and of course a smart club member because i trust my home comfort is standard heating the air conditioning and i really think you should too right now it's h-fac mania and these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted you can score a 45 kuban on a furnace tuneup normally 148 bucks and no it's never too late to show your furnace of love and if your system is about to crash out like a five seat against a 12 now's the time to replace it on your schedule with zero percent financing from standard heating and air conditioning go to standard heating dot com and mention 93x standard heating and air conditioning providing the comfort you deserve 1930 years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back your shoulders your knees maybe your joints you need help randy shaver here with the answer dav balki he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers compensation benefits for people just like you don't suffer call balki law today 763-571-2410 or go to balkilaw.com that's b-i-a-l-k-e law dot com and it spells relief for you next role with vernon davis the transformative journeys of athletes artists and entrepreneurs ladies and gentlemen lights out sean meredin i want to be the biggest and the best one i do and so whatever it takes i'll get it done in business and everything else all i do is know how to fight and earn what i want my man malik asks what actor comedian what you want to collaborate with me jayme foxley kevin harry in a movie we said it on vernon davis podcast so we'll circle back be like yep it's gonna clear next role with vernon davis follow and listen on your favorite platform half-assed morning show it's not just the swearing did one of you um fornicate fornicate look i've boned a lot of chicks in my time sure but uh as far as i can recall i've never fornicated anybody all you had to do was pass enough tough it goes your inventory this is a bad way to request a raise taking video of yourself setting a 1.2 million square foot warehouse filled with to the brim with toilet paper and other highly flammable paper products on fire while complaining about low wages oh there was like a uh company revolt yeah one guy oh just one guy one guy didn't like what he was being paid it's gotta be fun to watch it was kind of fun to watch especially knowing nobody got hurt but where are they where are they gonna pay him in prison yeah i don't know i mean you get a couple of bucks don't you if you wash dishes or something yeah you know we spend at the commissary crews rushed to the massive kimberley clark facility early tuesday morning but the fire was so intense they were forced to retreat almost immediately as flames took over the roof collapsed and the situation escalated into a full-blown six alarm inferno roughly 175 firefighters responded including about 20 engine companies 15 truck companies multiple supervisors investigators and specialized units about 20 employees were evacuated meanwhile the alleged mastermind shared several first person videos on facebook showing himself lighting fires inside the warehouse what a d bag yeah you win bro you know if you're not gonna pay us enough to afford to live at least pay us enough not to do this the disgruntled employee says p o v me setting my workplace on fire if they would have paid hashtag dad life he wouldn't ever set the building on fire if they would have paid him more yeah there is a a lot of money that will prevent you from putting other people's lives in danger does that really make sense to you dude i mean come on as he said this he enthusiastically set a roll of toilet paper on fire and simultaneously torching any chance of his paycheck going in any direction but down all you had to do is pay us enough to live the narrator says as the camera focuses on several stacks of paper products beginning to catch fire kimberley clark's brands include huggies clean x scott and cotton a cotton l and cotax causing the fire to burn for an extended period there goes your inventory he says in a final video as the flames begin to spread out of control there goes your life dude as i said officials say there were no injuries but yeah i've you know we've heard about some bold requests for raises around here that oh didn't work out so well for the individual um dude when attitude uh a couple of my favorites would be the guy who handed a list of demands uh arrogantly to the boss and just said i need all these things or i'm out and the guy said you're not getting any of these things and the guy didn't follow through on his threat usually the case here is my list of demands yeah that never you must honor each of these it might work in the movies yeah and in that case the boss just said yeah we're not going to be able to do any of these that was a hilarious one i enjoyed the hell out of that one uh the other good one was when the person handed their list of demands and said listen i'm the soul of this entire radio station yuck you have to honor these demands screw you my favorite was the one where uh she went into the boss's office and said you know i got offered a job at this uh marketing firm and they're going to pay me more money and the boss goes cool good for you like she was expecting like to use leverage that as to get a raise and the boss was like great go for it have fun yeah that kind of thing happened to me once um except it was i guess legit uh i was i wanted to become a server at the place i worked at because i was a like a busser and all that stuff but then i turned 18 so i could handle alcohol so i was like hey you know either you guys can make me a server or else i got offered a serving position at it was like the restaurant right next door too they're like chachkies yeah uh huh yeah and they were like oh well have fun there i thought no i've been working here for two years but i thought i mattered a little bit more okay bye i'd be too afraid of that happening to me i would never go in and say something like that yeah see that's the mindset that uh people fall into they they tell themselves that they are just absolutely crucial to to their company's existence when you literally don't matter at all when every damn near every one of us is replaceable and quickly oh yeah except for josh no i have no illusions to that i think things would were fine before and would be completely fine after i'm here so it's interesting how people convince themselves i am the sum bitch and spoke that keeps this wheel a-turning yeah you know and the two people i described were very difficult people to cheer for yeah very very very arrogant and everybody else sucked compared to them in their mind yeah i love that the first scenario you brought up here are my list of demands and you can you know sign off on this right now i suppose he says to the boss just just approve of these demands and and we're all good and maybe you got to know these specific characters but the boss looked in his eyes and said well you look down at the list of demands for maybe a brief second and look back at this employee and said yeah we're not going to acknowledge uh any of this do you remember any of the demands were any of them we weren't told i wasn't told any i got a couple of specifics and it was it was ridiculous i i also i forgot about another one i like the one where the guy said hey you know if i don't get this i'm gonna hand in my letter of resignation and this guy i i wish you knew this boss because he's hilarious he's not a jerk he's just i don't know how to describe him he's a funny dude but he doesn't put up with crap and he doesn't like jerks and so he said uh you're saying you're gonna hand in your letter of resignation and he said just so you know that would be very well received yes very well yes oh how perfect the way he put that how perfect is it that would be very well received in the building if you hand it in your resignation that hurts a little just so you know oh man that would be a very positive move for every last swing and d in the building if you did that i would never want to get on his bad side it's a beautiful thing when people get that that harsh smack of reality it's a beautiful thing especially when it's people that deserve yes a florida man is now facing an attempted murder charge after turning a petty argument into a full blown inferno over a bracelet and a refusal to apologize on march 30th deputies were called after 34 year old joziah don't call him derrick madden got into a heated dispute with a woman who discovered he'd broken one of her bracelets and notably never apologized things got bad quick the woman and two others were out on the back porch when one of them tried to leave madden wasn't having that he pulled a gun and made it clear nobody was going anywhere that's when the situation turned into a struggle the three attempted to disarm him one managed to knock the gun loose another grabbed it and then rushed inside to call 911 madden meanwhile stayed in the garage pounding on the locked door and grabbing tools in an effort to force his way back inside then came the tipping point the people inside realized he set the garage on fire by the time deputies arrived smoke was already pouring out of the home and madden was still inside he initially refused to come out but eventually exited after deputies managed to open the main garage door moral of the story say sorry it's less expensive than a lawyer madden faces multiple charges including first degree attempted murder since he started the fire knowing people were inside the home jeez tick tock inspires many things hot dance treads uh trends that is viral memes and in one case from our friends to the east a more combustible form of civic engagement a wisconsin social media superfan told police he tried to set fire to a congressman's office last year because he was angry that the lawmaker backed a bill requiring tick tock's chinese owner to sell off its us operation in addition to a seven-year prison stint a judge sentenced the 20 year old to seven years of extended supervision which sounds sensible considering the circumstances around 1 a.m. january 19th last year police responded to a fire outside a u.s representative's office an officer spotted the defendant standing nearby he told the cop he started the fire because he disliked the lawmaker he had initially planned to break into the office and ignite things inside but the window refused to cooperate so he pivoted he poured gas on an electrical box behind the building and around the front of the building he lit a match and watched it burn he said he wanted to burn down the office because the federal government was shutting down tick tock and violation of his constitutional rights he said and peace was no longer an option he added that the congressman voted for the shutdown but he didn't want to hurt the lawmaker anyone else just the building meanwhile tick tock did finalize the deal last year to create an american version of the platform dude what have you done it's not that serious there's so many other ways to rot your brain he loves tick tock what have you done it was kind of fun seeing uh some of the people i'm not huge fans of um i kind of i guess i have a couple people that i follow just to be a big about it it's called hate follow hate follow yeah it was kind of kind of fun seeing them completely crash out over tick tock yeah well is there an app um for uh any of you that if it went away you'd want to burn a building down no no i'd probably be most sad about like facebook because i have all my family on there and i don't know i don't have their phone numbers so i'd be kind of sad about that but the other ones can go away that's all right maybe back in the heyday of twitter i'd be upset but now i'm pretty much over it you did seem to be pretty into twitter oh i was huge and i loved it it was so much fun back in the day now it's just awful like everything else a profession like everything literally everything else like everything else in my life it's turned out awful a professional grade scumbag swindled thousands of dollars from a grieving family member after being entrusted to manage a loved one's estate uh even bragging he could do whatever he wanted as executor of a will including splashing bucks on buckets of animal semen oh 61 year old peter litler was appointed the executive of joseph webster's will a role that should have required him to distribute the late man's 200 000 dollar's inheritance fairly among his children and grandchildren but instead he put together a unique shopping list when the deceased man's house was sold the proceeds were supposed to pass through attorneys before being handed over to the rightful heirs instead he transferred the funds directly into his own bank account ignored repeated requests from the family to turn it over and at one point he told one of the beneficiaries that he can quote do whatever i want i'm executor of the will oh my god last week it emerged that he splurged 3600 on his 60th birthday party 2400 on semen from an olympic racehorse he never informed family members he was spending the inheritance despite being trusted to act as the executor for their father's estate at sentencing a furious judge said this was a manifest abuse of the trust placed in you because of your own financial difficulties and your prolific spending you shamelessly cheated six beneficiaries out of a substantial inheritance from such a much-loved father and grandfather please well do they're going to like divvy up the the semen yeah they'll spread it out everybody gets a joke a little vile your corrupt and selfish actions deprive them of the ability to make financial choices in their own lives you knew one had multiple sclerosis you knew her child had leukemia ah to keep that money from them is in my judgment mean and shabby the judge said shabby shabby police say littler's dishonesty and manipulation caused the victims further anguished during what was already a difficult time that's pretty low cold blooded yeah some might say cubby how much horse semen do you get for $2,400 i wonder not enough i don't think much i think it's really expensive right especially if you said it was like some special horse it was an olympic i don't have i do not have a stinking clue maybe like a little violent is that like a full load you know i mean do you they break that up it's got to be at least a full or else like what's the purpose of it you can't use it to impregnate impregnate other horses i'm with you on that i hope that's what he's using it for oh oh no here's a look at what's new in theaters and streaming this week in theaters today faces of death if you're checking your calendar it is 2026 faces of death the remake centers on the moderator of a youtube-like website who stumbles upon a group recreating the murders from the original film and questions whether the deaths are real or fake for those of you who may not have heard of the original faces of death it was described as a documentary it came out in 1978 it claimed to show the actual deaths of people and animals but it turned out a lot of that footage was fake it was that's dark well when we were kids that was a rite of passage you didn't have balls at my junior high in 1984 if you didn't have didn't have the seeds to sit down and watch faces of death so we all did it so we wouldn't be picked on um but they found out in later years that a lot of it was fake i guess so i was reading i didn't know until i read an article on that yesterday it i always thought it was real i have just very vague memories of watching faces of death um what i do remember is a lot of of monkey brains being that was disturbing oh i remember you guys talking about this now monkey brains being consumed by uh people that live in uh huts and whatnot um i remember a dude jumping smooth off a building that's about all i remember but that was a that was a very serious thing when we were young kids you had to watch faces of death or you weren't a real man yeah disturbing the monkey brains and then i remember wasn't there like a rotting body with flies all over it i don't remember the rotting body he was disturbing i'm surprised you got through something like that josh it doesn't seem like something you had to yeah you you had to where you got your ass kicked like nix said on the inside i was crying so a lot of prayers i wish there was a way i could close my eyes without anybody knowing oh god it was awful but you know what ashley back then that stuff didn't bother me as much as it does now for whatever reason more affected as an old man uh on the streaming side outcome lands on apple tv featuring a star-studded cast including keanna reeves jonahill and camry deus oh that sounds fun reeves plays a beloved hollywood star trying to figure out who's black mailing him with the threat of a video that would ruin his image and career edan hulu the revival of melcom in the middle with the series premiere of melcom in the middle life's still unfair yeah so what's the deal now uh we catch up with the whole family huh yeah not dewy though right everybody but dewy i think they have a new dewy new dewy um but uh yes the original actor has not had any interest in acting as an adult after shielding himself from his family for more than a decade melcom gets dragged back in when halin lois demand his presence at their 40th anniversary party i got rid of hulu we got rid of a lot of streaming services but i'm tempted to get it just for this can you use mine do they allow that i don't think that's allowed oh sure it is uh but yeah i that is that's the first time i've really thought geez i kind of want that back i just started free trial to different email address oh really that's why i have like five different emails it's only four episodes you can burn it out in a day so like uh they'd recognize my true eater for 20 69 69 whatever gotta do a different one yeah you have to use a different one happy anniversary to roseville ginger jesus and his better half celebrating their first wedding anniversary happy birthday to our longtime co-worker fill in board op host of the pit saturday night from 10 to midnight and if i remember correctly nix high school classmate kato has a birthday kato kato and i went to different schools together happy birthday to princeton bush light jesus from rice county bush light jesus happy birthday to mrs burnt thumb she's from mr burnt thumb jesus and uh sunday birthday happy birthday to you freshly squeezed jesus and that's 93x news randy shaver and brad rider on the half-assed morning show josh bell leads off the school is fourth he swings and sends it high and deep to right field back it goes deep and goes and gone josh bell but a long home run out to write his third of the season and the twins have a one nothing league check it in for the final final here it's randy shaver and brad rider good morning good morning good morning good morning morning and morning morning twins went ahead and swept those dirty what's going on i'll tell you what's going on i'll tell you what's going on all right i'll be honest i have no idea what's going on i don't think they do either there's a parade route planning meeting at 9am down at target field today i bet a lot of folks when they saw that four game tiger series right away on the schedule they thought that this would showcase just how far behind the twins roster is compared to other big league ball clubs and in this example a very good big league ball club like the detroit tigers but she went the complete opposite direction and damn i'm proud of the boys swept those sons of bitches yesterday brooks lee hit a tie breaking two run single in the eighth inning for the twins and she turned out to be a three to one win i can't believe i'm saying this mick abel pitched six scoreless innings against the detroit tigers lineup with seven strikeouts yeah other than the three walks i thought he was pretty rock solid i mean this is the most pitches he's thrown in a start in his career what did he get up to 102 oh really and and uh shelton left him in there you you know he walked to the mound to talk to him and there was conversation they might pull him and they left him in there let him finish the sixth inning so he got a quality start with the uh with the game mister he left leading one to nothing it's too bad they couldn't hold that lead right to give him the win but he certainly deserved it and looked great if the season were to stop today the regular season the twins would be the number one wild card and people got on me for getting on go for bad i'm just saying i'm just saying i'm just saying as of right now they're seven they're seven and six they're five and two at home they've played it's april 10th i know what it is but he knows what the date is he's got a calendar but i'm just saying that they're playing good baseball that's all he's saying brad rider what are you getting all crazy on us he was just saying i would he said something else i'd like i wish that baseball and this isn't gonna happen either would would read to think or restructure there who gets the win pitchers win um rule because in this case the guy who came in for him like you said he gave up the run tied the game but he got the win because he was in the game when the twins took the lead but haven't we all long stop caring about wins for pitchers and that's kind of been useful staffer years yeah but it's but it is more reflective of who pitched better if you can have an official score that this should be the winning pitcher the kid who got the win you're referring to is garret actin yeah went two innings for his first career win now i can win yeah i can believe i'm saying this josh bell went three for four with a dong and we heard the audio of that don't ski in cubby's intro i'm a big fan of what this josh bell has brought to the table so far but i mentioned that yesterday so well here's the here's the other stat nick yes five different relievers with five saves yeah they had four different relievers earned a save in the series that hasn't happened in like decades in in the major leagues were four different pitchers each got a save in a four game series it's crazy so here's the deal brad writer no one's crowning anybody no we're not crowning they ask but we're just saying we like what we see so far i told you a couple weeks ago that a friend of mine maybe it was just last week i don't know what it doesn't matter a friend of mine who is a baseball whiz he said you're gonna like what this sheltering guy brings you're gonna like his style well so far like randy was saying about leaving this able kid in there so far derrick shelton has proved that he's got something going uh the twins of all ball clubs are in the books now with the first four game sweep of the baseball season uh they hadn't swept a four game series in two years the last team the twins swept in a four game series was the athletics in june of 20 and then 24 what else do i have here for you they're above the 500 mark for the first time since last june when they were 36 and 35 eric orzzy is that fifth different twins pitcher randy shaver to record a save there was a scary scene in the outfield tiger center fielder parker meadows got mangled in the eighth inning after a head-to-head collision with the left field they're a kid by the name of riley green the two of them knocked skulls and that meadows kid was asleep before he hit the turf i don't know if anyone else saw it yep yep they hauled him off to the hospital i hear he was uh there were some worries in the tigers clubhouse i hear they kept them overnight in the hospital so we hope that kid's doing okay next up the twins start up a three game series in ontario tonight with simming in woods richerson starting the game for the twins this has been terrific back to randy's comment about if the season ended today the twins would be in the playoffs jesus hausen says good lord randy and my wife calls me premature i'm just saying i'm just i'm not saying that's where they're gonna end up i'm just saying as of today it's one it's one of the all-time great setups in the history of covering sports if the season were to end today but it doesn't it's a classic setup yes and it gets the fan base excited josh is over josh is excited i thought that was cool we played the equivalent to one game in two quarters of an nfl season one game in two quarters of an nfl season well hey well hey uh that was but but brad writer that was enough for a lot of jay brones in this town to go to go buy a josh dob's jersey you don't have to bring the vikings into this you're right about that why you got to drag the vikings into this night i say the vikings have a whole new the vikings have a whole new level of fandom in this area this ain't football right yeah back off brad the pastor not i miss the pastor not that was enough for a couple of jay brones in this town to uh claim j j mcarthy was the answer was a game in a quarter a preseason game a preseason game in a quarter yeah no stupid idiot what's that coach's name the twins now i love this this has become a fun part of the twin story so far this has been a fun part to follow the twins have made big league umpires their bitches so far this baseball season they've taken great advantage of the new abs challenge system which of course allows players if you don't know that allows players to challenge umpires ball and strike calls as many times as they want each game until they get too wrong a big example was the eighth inning of wednesday's game against detroit ryan jeffers made two successful challenges behind the plate there for his reliever uh feller by the name of cody lawyerson who's looked pretty good so far so jeffers made two successful challenges the second of which resulted in strike three that stranded two tigers on base of that close game they had with that close game they had with detroit on wednesday where the twins won eight to six no club has been better at overturning umpire ball strike calls via this abs gimmick than the twins so far well specifically ryan jeffers he's right phenomenal he he comes off like some kind of a damn uh what's the term they use josh like a savant he does he's you know who should be naturally better at that is catchers right when they hit right but jeffers is standing out he's just nailing this as of yesterday i don't know how many successful or unsuccessful challenges they had yesterday but as of before yesterday's game the twins have seven more successful challenges on the season than any other team and like we covered their secret weapon has been ryan jeffers what else do i have i got some more numbers here and all in all i think we covered this already but all in all this abs gimmick has been slick i i like every other uh baseball fan i wasn't sure how i was going to react to this once i saw it in a real game but it's been pretty slick i barely even noticed at this point you know right i thought it was gonna take a long time and delay things but no it goes by quick that's the key right there one of the reasons why it's working is because it's not delaying the game here's what it says about jeffers of his 10 wow of his 10 correct challenges behind the plate eight of them have resulted in a strikeout pretty interesting to me i think what it's done for me when i've seen it it makes me appreciate the umpires even more because when you see the replay and you see how close maybe some of these calls are i mean they've got a tough job when they're when they're missing by like an inch and a half and yeah i want to get the call right so it's a good thing that they're doing this it's not delaying the game you're absolutely right but but it does it does it doesn't make you appreciate the job that they're doing even more that they're even getting 95 percent of the calls right yeah keep in mind you know we're talking about all sorts of different pitches too it's not just yeah and they don't know what pitch is coming they don't know if it's a fastball or a curve or a split or a change up or i'd rather i've got to adjust but they've got to adjust the strike zone for every guy who's out maybe there's a six three guy up and then there's another five eight guy coming behind them i mean that's a tough job i'll swing from the jock of big league umpires i will uh they do have a difficult job and usually they get it right uh let me maybe i shouldn't say usually but let's just leave it at that they have a tough job um now here's a text from mediocre machinist jesus why don't they just do this with every pitch but so he's looking for full-on robot umpiring uh it'll come someday unfortunately it'll come i would rather there was no replay in any sport anywhere you know all i'm saying is so far this abs thing hasn't pissed me off at all it'll come though mediocre machinist jesus i don't know how old of a character you are but probably before you're dead you'll just see robot umpiring full on from one end of the ball field to the other uh well it looks like that pig stars playoff preview went dalis's way last night she was tied 4-4 in the third period and that's when the stars jason robertson scored with about nine and a half minutes left to play the pigs ended up on the losing end of a 5-4 hockey game i don't know why but i thought that game was on television everybody could watch it i got so frustrated last night because i don't do an espn plus and i don't have hulu oh so i was totally screwed last night and being able to watch that game i i hate that did you hear that josh randy got boned yeah i'm in the same boat i i hate that i i just wish they would especially this time of year don't put any playoff games on some sort of weird streaming channel stop it they're gonna do that though aren't they no i don't i don't know but stop it because that's not fair no it sucks well espn called last night's game a physical and entertaining preview of the upcoming playoffs here so the stars set four points ahead of the man bear pigs both clubs still have three regular season games left to determine who gets the usually overrated home ice advantage in the first round of the playoff the russian kid scored two of three power play goals for the piggies i don't know tell me this is notable i guess or maybe not it was the pigs first regulation loss when leading going into the third period in two years yeah they were like 61 and zero or something like that as we've mentioned before keeping all your best players healthy this time of year is maybe the most important thing i think eric's neck got hurt last night though well he left the game last night after taking a puck to the cake but i wouldn't worry too much about that one taking a puck to the uh to the puss uh ain't no thing for those boys they'll stitch up his face and or put a half shield they're not a half shield everyone wears a they'll put a full uh shield oh if it's that bad they'll he'll he'll be out there the pigs play tomorrow night in nashville tennessee dalis has a home game against the new york rangers yeah i think nashville is fighting for a playoff spot too so they're gonna be coming at the wild full steam i think the wild is it possible they made to say okay let's rest some guys sure that's a smart move at this point i i think that's what you should probably do at this point you're not going to lose your position you're gonna play dalis anyway give some of these guys a break um you know you only you only got a couple of games left sure no no that's very possible here's a listener who says that ac came back uh on the ice already okay i missed that so don't don't worry about that kid randy shaver according to a couple of our listeners who are texting into our luther blimington key attacks line at 651 98993 93 skis uh a few of them are saying you didn't miss anything last night the uh announcers were terrible oh but yeah i can turn the the sound down i wanted to watch the game oh yeah disappointing ac came back with a full shield okay no no i they're just they just wanted to poke fun at the announcers they said they were swinging from the dalis stars jocks was like they were it was like you were watching a patrick it was like you were watching a patrick mahalm super bowl that's not good of course they were oh my god was was joe buck doing the game too we have to be the only state in the country where the announcers are always against us they're always against us aren't they now joe buck says it's pretty much everywhere he can go on twitter during a commercial break and both fans of both sides will be saying that he's bias against them yeah he gets a lot of crap that's for sure ericsson ek according to one listener came back into the game with a fishbowl on his face yeah the full itech shield that reminds me of a story about about my pal big al we've gone through life together damn near hand in hand big al and i played a lot of hockey together um towards the end of our youth hockey career the protak helmet became obsolete can anyone here relate when i say a protak helmet sure i've seen those did i did i get the right they're perfectly round they were they were they were the not in the nhl but in youth hockey they were the go-to helmet in the 80s it was just perfectly round um if you don't know look it up so towards the end of our youth hockey career um it was kind of widely regarded that these helmets did not protect kids well enough um kids were getting hurt because this was just the the overall vibe i don't know if there's any numbers to back this up but suddenly youth hockey coaches and parents were all concerned about the protak it's not going to protect your skull the way the others do so a lot of kids were updating or parents were updating their kids helmets uh big al went the other way he kept his protak and again it it it sort of looked tacky after a while it looked completely out of style but he didn't care so he's got this perfectly round helmet and we're playing a game um i forgot where we were and it doesn't matter and al scores a goal and one thing that al like to do is uh really over exaggerate how excited he was about scoring that goal right arms up in the air you know everyone in the crowd check me out i just scored right you know so what but that was his style so he's got the protak on and some guy from the stand says this what are you so excited about you look like someone's ready to fire you out of a cannon and he continued to sport that in beer league and guys would always skate up to him and say what are you looking to get killed uh here's some further pigs news for you uh yes but volstette is nominated for the bill master tin memorial trophy not as lame as the lady bing but it's close it's a trophy for sportsmanship dedication to hockey anyway volstette's had a good season and apparently he's been an overall nice guy who's very dedicated to playing hockey which is nice he's up for the award here's a list of pigs who have been previously nominated for the master tin trophy if for no other reason it's just fun for me to go through a list of former players uh if you got anything to say about any of these former pigs members any stories go ahead dick park was previously nominated for the master tin dwayne rollison roley the golden oh yeah god he had a nice run there for a while the brama bowl was his nickname dwayne rollison the brama bowl alexander deg west walls maryon gorebyak some of these guys you probably can't picture erin voros i don't think i've ever heard that name in my life solid player curtis foster one of the greatest names pronounced curtis oh gotcha foster one of the greatest names in pigs history geom gauchondres pier mark bouchard clayton stoner a lot of potheads bought his jersey oh yeah i still see those at the games nat proser eric stall matt cullen alex steylock he does some television now does he not alex steylock i think he does matt dumba jared spur well waltz dead could become the third player in franchise history to win the award two prior goaltenders won the sum bitch who were they who were the two prior pigs goaltenders to win the master tin trophy uh probably that one guy yep i nailed it and then the guy that uh filled in for him a couple years later after that other guy left i'm guessing those are the two i think you're on to something oh god i don't know well it's not like we're going back a hundred years here the team's only been here for 25 years i mean yeah they're kind of in one ear out the other what josh heart net okay i was just gonna i thought i was gonna say wasn't he a good guy josh hearting yeah that's what i heard josh heart net won it in 2013 and oh the other uh devin dubnick divan get the tables dubnick won the master tin first presented in 1968 the master tin trophy was put together to commemorate the late bill master tin who played for the north stars and died on january 15th of 68 as a result of head injuries suffered during the game it's one of the oldest tales in the state of hockey is the story of bill master i don't think he died there on the ice i think he died at the hospital later i believe he took a puck to the cranium but 15 000 seats at the old met stadium yet somehow around three or four hundred thousand people claimed to have been there the night that bill master tin got killed dead pig spans might want to see this big bastard out on the ice before the regular season is wrapped up the pig signed a rookie yesterday and everyone seems to love the kid's name so you might see him play in these last three regular season games he's not eligible to play in the playoff he's a big six six defenseman 225 pounds of them spent the last two years playing at the university of connecticut everyone seems to love his name i was excited too until i heard the name and it was obvious to me what we're dealing with josh another friggin swede as if we don't have enough of those big stubborn bastards here in town the kid's name is viking gustafson nyberg it's pretty cool no comment at all from randier brad on a kid i was trying to figure out does he does he go by the gustafson in the middle or is it just viking nyberg i don't know i've never heard of him until yesterday viking gustafson nyberg yeah gustaf and nyberg would be a long uh sweater to put on the back that's a long nameplate right there i don't know what he's gonna do with that in the nhl yeah oh god sounds like his on ice specialty is just getting in the way he blocks a lot of shots and being a swede his specialty off ice is probably being the loudest guy at the party and insisting he's right about everything although swedes josh i haven't had the same experience i guess everything i'm reading about him he does go by all three names so we better get used to calling them all three viking gustafson nyberg it says here again you could get some ice time with the boys in one of their last couple three games of the regular season all right six six big kid funny name viking first for me yeah yeah i don't think i've ever met anyone named viking oh well i can hear that you boys can't contain your excitement over the last couple of stories they're viking in is in minnesota he's kind of hard to get excited about a kid that is this a signed as a free agent that may or may not play yeah sometimes i wonder josh sometimes i wonder is this a microphone or a tranquilizer dart uh it can be both i should know hockey it's not your specialty i wish ashley was back from doing whatever she does because i'd love to have her in the room for this next story but we can't control that she's got things to do so i guess i'll just have to go ahead anyway now i've never heard of this guy but apparently if you go see the new york rangers play at madison square garden there's some dork bag in the stands called dancing larry any any and he puts on a show dancing around like a total jack wagon josh have you heard of dancing larry not the story here yeah it was nobody i was familiar with okay but it seemed like when you're reading the story that it was somebody you were supposed to be familiar with oh i wasn't at all tuned into dancing larry's background there at ranger home games uh but you know they put on some uh bon jovi or something and he dances is that and everyone thinks it's cute dancing larry so word is according to a lawsuit dancing uh stupid larry he's been accused of being inappropriate with some of the staff at the rangers game oh boy i wonder if he's one of those guys that's like hey do you know who i am i'm dancing larry unfortunately i i think that's probably the case a few people laughed you know when he got up and danced between face offs and it went to his head and now it sounds like the rangers feature him okay there's a timeout let's show dancing so i think he fell in love with his character and now he's i mean he's entertaining i watched him do some dancing gross inappropriate behavior is how they put it here the story a gal called maranda a former member of the rangers blue crew hype squad i'm guessing they're nice looking gals who run around like cheerleaders uh they say that dancing larry is always with the hands on the gals backs and necks the touching and whatnot they say he can't stop with the touching so he's handsy larry too yeah it was worse i mean he did some pretty gross stuff oh god well well you see i didn't fill me in josh other than the touching he's always with the back rubbing and the neck rubbing according to some people there at the rangers the home games he's always with the touching but it says here's something about dancing larry spitting into people's mouths yeah that's what oh come on i was trying to figure out how exactly that happens but yeah that's one of the things they mentioned he was spitting in mouths bruh yeah and they you know we were kind of talking about this the other day the unwanted and unnecessary neck rubs just do that to somebody you can't do that no i got you there didn't i with uh spitting in the mouth i got you back now i'll try to incorporate that can i go back and tell these other stories pigs gold tender yesper walstead's been nominated for the bill masterton trophy uh and when you win it you you receive a trophy and somebody spits into your mouth oh god the pig signed a new rookie named viking um who comes from sweden and i don't know if you know this uh but uh when you are born in sweden the doctor spanks your ass and he spits into your mouth she's the god oh man so uh yeah i i don't know the background on the mouth spitting here with dancing larry what was the background on that like people would allow him to spit into their mouth at the hockey game i'm guessing it wasn't allowed if they're complaining about it but i i sure hope nobody would allow that maybe he's maybe he's one of those people when when he when they talk he spits no he's a close talker oh yeah maybe i don't know brad writer i mean i don't think you can i mean it's gross we can't sue somebody for that if you could nick and i would be millionaires from a former co-worker one of the gals involved that ranger home game says every time we return from doing a dancing larry dancing larry bit at the rink more than one person on the crew laments an unwanted interaction they say they've had enough of the guy that's a problem that's a problem dancing dancing larry's career as dancing larry you probably came to an end i don't understand how he's spitting into people's mouths unwanted we don't know either how does that even work in order to spit in someone's mouth they have to be like hey spit my mouth you gotta have your mouth open yeah time it i yeah i'm not sure they call it textbook sexual harassment hell i don't know all i can say is that dancing larry looks like an ass hat uh but that doesn't necessarily mean you're a sexual predator i don't know it's usually a good sign though it is funny the entitlement some of these fans get when they get just like you said a little bit of notoriety wasn't there a spiking superfan that was well known to the metrodome at sand the end zone and then he didn't go to the new metrodome because he wasn't getting enough special treatment from the team i remember hearing about that uh yeah he won't yeah there's something to that well you could be referring to crazy george oh no no crazy george performed at the metrodome he performed at the metrodome i don't know who you're referring to some guys sat in the end zone and one of the at the old metrodome and then when the new metrodome opened oh i'm sorry the old metrodome new metrodome right yeah he didn't get enough specialized treatment from the vikings he says well i'm not going to any games i'm the reason i get the crowd fired up every game yeah i think he wanted the vikings to waive his personal c license oh please oh come on he wanted some compensation from what i right and i think uh i've been to a game or two i think the crowd is still getting pretty fired up even without his presence there i'm sorry i thought you said met center oh to original metrodome but you said old metrodome to new metrodome um dancing larry is a little creepy looking you don't like this i don't like the vibe he's a little uncle festery isn't he yeah well again uh back to this now josh i i looked at one picture of dancing larry it appears again he's one of those guys that shaves all of the hairs off of his head and then shines it so he looks like a walking dick i don't know how many times i have to tell you dudes you gotta leave something else up there you gotta leave something up there whatever you got don't shave it all the way down with a razor and then polish it you look like a pecker yeah yeah penis head it's it's not that difficult you just you just put away the shaving cream and the razor unless you want to walk out your house and people go oh god an enormous dick if you want that then continue that look i would love somebody to say that to me just once but in a different context i dream for that it'll never happen when i was a kid i enjoyed hanging around crazy george who would go to vikings and nor star games yeah and then remember the nor star fan at met center randy shaver they called him catfish uh no i don't he was at every friggin home game he wore a pair of jean shorts and a nor star jersey that said catfish on the back everybody wore jean shorts dana did up until a handful of years ago wow oh i still do oh you do i haven't seen you wear maron yet everybody wore jean shorts to a nor star game in february and he had a jersey and it said black belt in your shirt looks good it's a good luck i love george crazy george was fun catfish was fun anybody remember the magic number guy the metronome back in the day no yeah yeah he kind of do yeah the big sign that you know what the magic number was he was there at every game he sat up in the upper deck based on randy's reaction to the sweep that'll be randy this weekend randy's give me a target field the magic number sign whatever happened to the program guy at the wolves games yeah he even got his own bobblehead at one point oh did he really yeah yeah nice to see him there quite often so dana was asking do we remember a fan who in betwixt the old metrodome and the new one he had some piss and match with the vikings he was one of these look at my outfit in the stands guys who would get the crowd hyped up he got butt hurt that they didn't show him enough attention so he refused to go to the new metrodome right okay i remember he wanted some money and they just said sorry we can't do that a lot of people are texting in saying are you thinking of rag nor yeah that's who that's a i didn't want to say the name oh so he was he was a mascot he wasn't uh yeah i was sitting in the stands no he wasn't in the stands he was like an official mascot uh i thought he was not like official uh i thought there was no he was like victor viking was official but well victor came on later no i mean i mean rag nor for christ sake the guy would ride a motorcycle out onto the field to me he was official yes yes yeah okay now i know where you're going with this yes and he wanted to be from what i remember he wanted to be paid some astronomical amount of money that was the rumor yep and they said uh yeah no mm-hmm we can get someone else with long hair and a beard to act like a viking for three hours so no yeah he kind of took over for hub mead right hub mead was the longtime face of the viking yes scott yeah now it's like that uh that hot husband and wife that dress all viking like i follow the or i follow him on facebook uh i don't i i'm completely spacing on their names but i'm sure the listeners know who i'm talking about they like deck they they always are on the tv uh i don't know who you're talking about yeah they like deck themselves out in like authentic viking apparel kind of vibe it's sweet looking i'm not trying to be a total deck here but you know those folks who kind of overdo it at the ball game it looks like it looks like a lot of work with their outfits and whatnot i don't know if you're not 11 those kind of people worry me a little bit she didn't really narrow it down too much there's a lot of those people well yeah yeah i wasn't trying to go after anyone specifically i was casting a wide net there brad writer right yeah denver wisco in the college hockey uh final final where the winner yes what happens what's takes a big wad of spit yeah the winning the winning roster all opens up their mouths and john butchegross spits in their mouth butchegross some people like that all right not to make this more confusing but we're getting so many tax i feel i should bring it up folks are saying we're talking about completely completely different people and situations and dana the guy you're talking about is not ragnar so okay it's just getting confusing yeah i don't know i'm afraid to say any name in case there's lawsuits but people are all texting in the same couple of people some are saying it was ragnar some are saying it wasn't ragnar either way they're two very interesting stories master's update go sam burns and the defending champion rory mackleway tied for the lead after the first round at five under windham clark has already shot three under through the first four holes today and he's now tied for a second um it's a beautiful day in augusta the uh the sunshine and the wind have made this golf course even tougher if that's even possible so it's going to be a very difficult day to score at the master what kind of wind do they have what kind of wind does she wants to know how fast is it going it's gonna be in in the morning it's a little calmer so the guys that are going out in the morning like the morning guys yesterday like sam burns and rory mackleway shot lower scores the guys who are going out in the morning today like ragnar was saying and they're gonna shoot the lower scores and guys will go out in the afternoon they're probably gonna shoot higher scores because the wind is gonna play tricks with their balls that's fun i like that excuse me dumb it down for people so they could grow up guys excuse me what randy get your head out of the gutter wind what brad brad no i've never i've had it already one he was really hoping who's gonna pass by nope i fit it that way on purpose i wanted to dumb it down for the people who didn't follow the off another uh another needed update here for folks how about an update on randy shaver's drop shot pickleball event coming at the end of the month now i understand that you got some ladies signing up to play but you could use some more doads we could we could use some more guys to play in the round robin tournament on saturday april 25th men's divisions are you know certainly open for sign up we'd love to get people out to play randy shavercancerfund.org is where you can find information or you can contact drop shot in shaka p as well to sign up but we're we're looking for for guy players because we're a little short on the men that should be inspiration for dudes right there there's gonna be another but this place is gonna be crawling with action girls and pickleball skirts yeah and the friday night open play it's gonna be myself it's gonna be belinda jensen it's gonna be nick it's gonna be glenn perkins and marcus charles including and also including some actual real pros in pickleball so friday night's event is from six to nine at drop shot place your bet on which of those five people you mentioned randy belinda marcus charles glenn perkins and myself place a bet on who ends up in the emergency room it's gonna be you and i as i mentioned a couple days ago yes that's fine if it's me that's why you go to pickleball event i'm gonna have to come and watch that you better make it happen or i'm gonna be pissed it's like going to an auto race if people are gonna wait for the crowd yes if nick doesn't get hurt ashley goes and nancy carragans them exactly yeah if people are betting on it i can't just go you know throw myself into a chair you know yes that would be uh shady um need more dudes well there's one one sales dork here in the building the only time he comes into the studio after we wrap up at nine the only time he comes in here is if we've talked about pickleball or the green bay packers oh no and the other day when we brought up your pickleball event sure as hell am i lying josh three minutes after we went off the air he comes waddling into the building pickleball were you guys talking about pickleball oh my gosh i'm so glad i wasn't here for that so he should be tell him to sign he said he's going to sign up yeah he's listening i know so stop running your gap because we don't want to hear it sign up right josh i thought maybe because he stopped talking to us about pickleball i thought maybe he stopped playing he's not into it as much anymore he's into a new game i forgot what it was do you remember nick buns and weeners it was something like that oh that's fun hide yeah hide the hot dog oh you're right he's into a new um a new style of paddle sport yeah it's uh randy of you it's like the ball silent or something that's one of the things he was telling us it's a kind of ball it sure wasn't who's in my mouth by the way i've never that's not a game dana i've never lost ask ask how the how the wind affects that that is not a game it's not a joking matter no it is not uh wolves rockets tonight they'll continue the jv showdown and yeah and then of course sunday is the final final with the kg gimmick and the whole works yeah i just saw this on twitter the twins announced that anyone who bought tickets to the home opener can get free tickets to the april 17 game against the reds that say it's due to the power outage and whatnot and there'll be two dollar beers and fireworks uh post game oh that's pretty sweet that's that's a good that's a great gesture yeah yes it is we rip on them a little bit but it is they're trying so hard they are they are button seats baby button seats i got a respective respect the hustle but here's what i want to know what what would be the situation if the playoff started today where would the uh you get in free for the wild card and then and then if you showed up for the opener and you show up for the game that's friday you get playoff priority right randy that's right oh how funny would be the power went out again if the playoff started the day randy shaber told us earlier the twins would be a wild card that's right and anything can happen once you get into the playoff hey randy real quick back to your pickleball event um people are asking do they have to like know the rules do they have to play or do they have to know how to play or can they just show up and play uh we're trying to raise money we don't care if you suck at it right i mean there's yeah there's different divisions of uh levels and so they just have to find the appropriate level for them but that's but the the folks at drop shot will help you figure that out yeah if you have not played very much put you in the donkey division this is this is it's a tournament but it's for fun right we're raising money for cancer research and patient aid so just come out it's a good it's a good place to learn if you haven't played a lot it's a it's a good place to come and watch people play awesome so and take part if somebody's not interested yet nick is there anything they could do at the door to get people interested in as a matter of fact for these uh tournaments coming up if someone's not interested or anything they could do to someone's mouth on the way you know josh well i'm just curious because nick found a way to get people engaged earlier when things aren't going well we're not spitting in people's mouths coming to the freaking drop shot don't do that for sure randy has made a rule no spitting in people's mouths it's not for charity we're not doing that i uh i had no idea where you were going with that but now yeah if you show up no if you're somebody who doesn't want to show up no if you don't want to show up here's what would be the price tag on that nick if somebody came up to you and said can i spit in your mouth and i don't need to rain you sure no depends on how they're not depends on who it is i want to i don't see i want to be the spitter yeah i pictured you as the spitter you son of a bitch a little bit of chew shards in there yeah get in there i bet you taste a little winter green right now don't you it's for charity you bastard now get in there and play some pickle ball it's not that bad i've i've had it it's not that bad she's had my spit in her mouth oh my god now there's some people saying they're gonna show up they didn't know that's a part of it i'll be at the door wearing a bib oh man how did my comment on the balls at the master just become the cleanest thing that's been said to last thanks for your help in the fight against cancer haktua oh we gotta go we'll talk to you boys on monday we've warned you out we've warned you just filled it out you ain't got nothing left half-assed morning show 93x well hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there wherever in the world you're listening right now we truly appreciate it dana here yeah i'm a sports junkie i'm a wing lover and of course a smart club member because i trust my home comfort is standard heating the air conditioning and i really think you should too right now it's h-fac mania and these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted you can score a 45 dollar coupon on a furnace tuneup normally 148 bucks and no it's never too late to show your furnace of love and if your system is about to crash out like a five seat against a 12 now's the time to replace it on your schedule with zero percent financing from standard heating and air conditioning go to standard heating dot com and mention 93x standard heating and air conditioning providing the comfort you deserve since 1930 years of hard work and now you've got pain in your back your shoulders your knees maybe your joints you need help ready shaver here with the answer dave balki he's got over 30 years experience in getting workers compensation benefits for people just like you don't suffer call balki law today 763-571-2410 or go to balkilaw.com that's b-i-a-l-k-e law dot com and it spells relief for you hey there i'm paula pan i help people make the smartest money decisions possible show you know what's been great about being a saver for money to make and that money over the past couple of years has made a pretty good yield pre-pandemic money was making zero now it's actually making something but that's starting to go down down down i love how we can play the fact that inflation has been really high as a positive but if you're a saver you know what that means to change silver lining joe silver lining afford anything follow and listen on your favorite platform half-assed morning show 93x okay and we've been we've been going too hard for a friday we've been giving too much i'm about cooked here uh but i'll still go ahead and welcome you on back to the final final for the work week we got some more ground to cover yet would you like to continue on by hearing a completely random text message from a listener f me run and i love that text machine eight nine times out of ten our listening audience sends us some great stuff even if it's just a random check-in that text machine can be a lot of laughs eight times out of ten uh if you don't mind let's continue on this is a completely random text message from a listener it was actually sent yesterday but we ran smooth out of time unfortunately there is zero how should i say it zero further information other than the text itself so all we have to work with is the statement itself but it's very unique and thought-provoking it goes like this came in yesterday to our luther bloomington key attacks line six five one nine eight nine ninety three ninety three it says this cubby guess who just bought the house right next to their ex-wife and she doesn't know it yet oh my god that sounds miserable for everybody that's crazy bro there is a couple of uh thumbs up emojis and it says this some bitch right here guess who just bought the house right next to their ex-wife and she does not know it yet well uh i have peacock so i look forward to the date line episode in the world now i don't know about the rest of you is well i guess maybe now i do know how the rest of you feel about it but that sounds like t ro ye you how do you spell it again well i don't know you be out sounds like trouble oh trouble if i'm living in that neighborhood i'm going to put on my crash helmet and brace for impact he's bought the house next door to his ex-wife she doesn't know it yet be fun people watch you from across the street though i wonder is this a yeah was it a spice or spice spite purchase or i don't know i think anywhere you put it it's a little a little weird how long before things turn violent ashley if you are suddenly living next door to your ex-husband probably not long not long she says do you guys uh give her talk no we got no no reason to but uh i was actually telling dana like last week sadly one of our mutual friends passed away and i i assume he's going to be at the funeral and i want to go to the funeral and i'm like ah gosh darn it it's that bad i just don't have any interest in seeing him or hearing his voice i know a couple who are um they're divorced but they're basically still best friends that was the case where alex rebeck and his ex-wife what who yeah they actually live they who is former host of jeopardy i know him but like why do you know this i want to hell did you drag alex rebeck into this that was so quick too like you were ready i read the man's book and he talks about how he got divorced and him and his ex-wife stayed best friends actually lived on the same street and they both got remarried and the four of them hung out all the time swingers gotta be right like even if you were like even if you ended on perfectly good terms it's he was a big shot they were swingers uh so that uh that tax people are saying that's a viral joke that bought the house next to the ex-wife but i do know i was just thinking about it you're a viral joke what oh wait a minute sometimes are you saying i've gone viral i've made it calm down i forgot i've got family members who did that uh in a way they owned a home they wanted a rental property and the house next to them came up for sale and they bought it and so once they got divorced one took one house and the other took the other and it's actually a shared driveway and everything oh wow and it works out great because they've got kids oh sure so they they've done this deal have you heard this it seems like it's kind of new uh maybe it's not but where it's the parents that go between homes right so the kids stay in the same house so they they don't go like to moms and then dad's kind of like how it seemed like it always was i've always liked that that idea because you don't mind they're more uh you know in like a more stable environment so that's that's not new to me it was new i hadn't heard is that something so you don't mind your ex going through your dildo drawer i think everything would change if there was kids involved because that's all you care about right i think is uh what if they're benefiting from the situation or not i think most situation well i'm talking like i know it was new to me but my understanding was in most situations you got your own place right so you just would come stay in that particular house and you don't leave any dildos in the kids house so i think that's it but in this particular case they only owned two homes so they'd just one person gets it for a hover long and then the other person you'd have to really trust your ex to have her coming in and out of your property or him coming in and out of your property you know what i mean you'd have to really trust them not to be going through your stuff you never know uh i mean sure there's plenty of divorce couples who get along just fine others like alex scherbeck like there are other couples that once they divorce i mean they divorce for good reason they hate each other's guts oh like for example tom bosley who played mr cunning hand on the old happy day show tom bosley had a terrible breakup with this i read his book he had a terrible divorce they couldn't even look at each other cubby that's so different than the manards guy who was married to the love of his life they had a falling out and then they got remarried many years later and they were best friends uh yeah so there you go all right somebody texted in and said that his wife him and his ex-wife are all best friends and they lived together for about six months oh come on really that's uh do you think they really were a while i'm gonna at their word but you know sometimes people might say that but secretly one of them hated everybody this is a dude who texted in and said he lived with his ex-wife and his new wife together for six months yeah can you ask him a question for me did he go through his ex-wife's dildo draw he did i bet he did he went through a dildo draw hot and spicy crunchy nutty tasty chewy jesus said heck my ex still does my taxes lol oh do you use your ex-wife for any legal services um i haven't had the need for any legal services but if i needed to i'd absolutely i she'd be the first person i'd call ain't that something all right okay so the dude texted and said uh this was yesterday and we just read it a minute ago dude texted in and said uh guess who just moved in next door to his ex-wife and she doesn't know it yet that was some kind of a joke all right people are saying it's a viral joke i guess you son of a bitch it's a fun topic oh no i'm not upset at all it's friday and i don't care about anything at all really the ex-wife shows up to the like a nice apple pie to greet the new neighbors and he opens the door it it was it is a fun topic that's such a jump scare oh you're no kidding my god i feel like no no no no no you need to leave who's at the door with an apple pie the ex-wife yeah to greet the new neighbor be neighborly and then all of a sudden the ex-wife opens the door it's you you bastard that truck looks familiar oh that couch they're moving in looks familiar that's right it is me i've never been divorced but i'm lucky i haven't had a bad breakup where i'd be miserable seeing somebody like you said at a funeral or something like that i've never had a good one oh really nah i'm with josh too no usually if they end they they end in fire yeah not a passion literal fire that says something about you oh 100 percent it absolutely does why can't you leave on mature terms i don't know it's just not it's not the type of person i am actually do your exes have crazy ex stories about you oh i'm sure my god i'm sure yeah that oh yeah you know what it is it's because you're not boring yeah i think i think so like i mean i do wonder like when they get you know new girlfriends or whatever and they're like of course you share stories about your ex or whatever and i guarantee it's like oh she was not it's like okay not all the time thank you there was some good stuff in there like stop using my jokes your exes all steal your jokes i hate that yeah you have an example of one of them um hmm i guess just like i guess not so much jokes but just like the way i talk i guess like um like certain things i say like uh for for example we're talking gimmick infringement here aren't we yeah it's just like small small things that bother me it's not just humans it happens with animals like do you guys know how uh the two snakes ended their fight oh gosh how we gotta take a break you know what you just saved my ass you saved me from saying they hissed and made up at best morning show 93x all right it's awful close now you know we were talking about exes divorce oh you know how it is some and amicably some people actually have the maturity to try and make sure relationships and amicably never heard of it well you probably heard of it but you just don't believe in it some are a full-on foralarm disaster um we talked a little bit about can you get along with your ex after the divorce sometimes you have to keep seeing that individual because you're dirty breeders and you made children sometimes you live in the same town sometimes it's a really frigging small town can you can you get along with that person after the divorce or is there sour feelings and you hang on to that stuff forever um you know i have some experience although limited my first wife and i split up 26 years ago now um and she rather quickly moved out of town but the interactions that we had after we got divorced were totally pleasant and normal we had no reason to hate each other but she got the hell out of town so i didn't really have to run into her everywhere although i think we would have been fine i would have been fine there's only one little story i can share with you that kind of looks behind the curtain as to how my ex-wife was feeling after we divorced and it's a story that got told to me by one of her best friends so after my first wife and i got divorced i did the right thing josh and i went after some new stuff yeah you got to sleep your way back to feeling good that's what you do the best the best way to get over somebody else is to get under somebody that's what they say i got myself a lady friend rather quickly right after the divorce so i'm at my neighborhood bar and one of my ex-wife's best friends walks in and she says you know how you do want to say good she meets my new girlfriend and uh this very close friend of my ex-wife says you know i talked to your ex-wife a couple days ago oh sorry i almost ruined the story this this gal friend um had met my new girlfriend before okay she had met my new girlfriend before she walks into the bar there i am standing with my new girlfriend and my wife's friend says to me i talked to your ex a couple days ago and i said oh yeah how's she doing she's doing good but apparently this was the conversation that they had gal friend says to my ex-wife yeah you know i i see nick around town uh quite often and i met his new girlfriend and my ex-wife said oh yeah is she pretty and her gal friend said well yeah she's really pretty and according to this friend my ex-wife said yeah well f that bitch that's how it goes that's kind of just i don't maybe that's that's just like a girl thing i'm picturing it definitely though because i you know i knew your ex-wife obviously and she was so funny i could see her joking around or do you think she meant oh no if she meant it she only held on to that anger for five seconds yeah she had such a yeah normal good sense of humor i could see her just being funny i think i think every damn near everyone in the world has that initial hatred for the new guy or the new girl right how hot are they are they funnier than me but for most people it goes away quickly now we have we have a lot of stories in our in our news reports here on this show that tell you that there are folks who cannot let it go and it leads to ridiculous things but most of us you get over it you move on here's a guy who says texted in said i think about calling my ex to see if she's still alive but i'm scared she'll answer did you guys when i was a younger guy i mean you guys know i'm usually just like a one person at a time guy but there was always if i if the relationship ended i always felt like there was somebody i probably could call yeah plan b is like in a plan b or somebody on deck yeah i haven't had that in 15 years or more uh do you guys you are so whipped i mean honestly i wouldn't know i wouldn't have no idea my wife and i we had this conversation before and she was asking me like well who would you call i can't come up with a nobody there's no i won't put a list together for you i can't come up with somebody either i used to have plenty of options like i don't bad i don't know how to say that without sounding gross josh we've we've covered this before you've said a few times what would i do i don't have a plan b i don't have anyone in mind to call it's not 1981 anymore you don't need to have that plan b you go on social media and you've got yourself a new girlfriend three hours after your wife has moved all of her stuff out of your house that's a good point i forgot about like tinder and different places like that we yes my friend basically order up somebody that's right i was telling my husband the other day that if i they never like happened to us or god forbid ever happened to him i'm like i would probably just be single for a really really really long time i don't have the energy to meet somebody or to learn all about what they like and don't like i just i never want to do it again oh just seem like a lot of work yeah like what if they don't like some of your i don't want to change for anybody yeah and i don't i don't have the energy to pretend i'm a better more entertaining person with interests and stuff like that i can't put up that facade for very long anymore they'd have to understand that i don't really like doing anything stop stressing out about this because i'm not stressed it's just for i remember when we had this conversation i'm thinking god i kind of forgot that there'd usually be somebody you could call whatever you call it stress or whatever um don't even think about it because you and your wife will live forever oh yeah well i'll die well before her but yeah i shouldn't have to worry you too will live forever oh who wants to leave early um if you want to leave early clap your hands dana's clapping his hands if you want to leave early clap your hands i was just singing them a song oh you were yeah nice um i i i said can you sing it for me right now since i didn't get to hear it you were included i said if you're happy and you know it compliment and then i said ashley and then nick and i threw him out a compliment oh nice i kind of did the song that's beautiful yeah it was pretty nice it was fun congratulations to not allowed to have sex but been married too long jesus 60 days sober today congrats man he says uh it doesn't sound like much but it's huge for a quote old drunk like me nope that is that sounds like a lot yeah congratulations also congratulations to fochie maintenance ninja on the birth of his fourth son grant from not saying just saying jesus wait a minute who humbly's requested the grant rapping is on didn't we just have someone text in two days ago saying they made a baby named grant yeah there's grants running around out there we got grants so if anybody they just want to hear the song there's no way there's two babies in 2026 named grant it's possible i don't know put up put slap grant welcome to the brotherhood grant shout out to concrete jesus and the rainy river hogs layers up on the border and during the elements of the minnesota versus canadian weather the hogs layers right love it happy 17th birthday to toots mcgoots jesus from beer and pizza she's i'm not sure you know what they mean ashley yeah i know what they mean both ways i'm thinking about it in a dirty way and then the fishing way oh you're thinking of both ways yeah okay welcome to my club millennial steel cutter jesus text in a shout out to dumbass welder jesus his birthdays today and millennial steel cutter jesus said quote ben his coworker for 10 years now man is he a dumbass i mean i mean wow bearded plant daddy jesus text the birthday shout out to his smoking hot girlfriend master of puppies jesus i love that one turning the big four oh today and then ashley do you mind if i hand you a shout out here yeah sure you read this as written as written yeah shout outs all right the ashley version of shoutouts hi i'm ashley just remember to smile it's free and makes you feel good oh that's so nice you're right have a great weekend at best morning show 90 well hello to all the wonderful podcasters out there wherever in the world you're listening right now we truly appreciate it dana here yeah i'm a sports junkie i'm a wing lover and of course a smart club member because i trust my home comfort is standard heating the air conditioning and i really think you should too right now it's hfak mania and these deals will help offset the cost when your brackets get busted you can score a 45 dollar coupon on a furnace tune up normally 148 bucks and no it's never too late to show your furnace of love and if your system is about to crash out like a five seat against a 12 now's the time to replace it on your schedule with zero percent financing from standard heating and air conditioning go to standard heating dot com and mention 93x standard heating and air conditioning providing the comfort you deserve since 1930