The Lost Shmatta & A Booby-Trapped Veg-O-Matic: Holiday Listener Episode #19

Family chips with the nicest brothers Family chips with the nicest brothers Here we go Hey, Bajie. Hey, Sufi. It's time for our holiday listener episode. It is the great gift that is bestowed upon us is stories from our listeners. I love it. I love the holidays. Yeah. I love the holidays too. Yeah. Have you probably already bought presents for mom and dad? At the time of this recording? No. Oh, yeah. Kind of shocking. Do you have eyes on stuff? Not really. I mean, I've got one, like, little thing for mom. Uh-huh. But, uh, but no, I got a- One of those airplane bottles of gin. She likes those. I know she does. Yeah. Which, yeah. I mean, it's so fleeting, uh, the joy that they bring her, but I guess it's cute bottle. What if we got her, like, just a little, a ton of those, and one of those, uh, like, maybe a decombitioned airplane beverage cart? Mm-hmm. And then dad would have to push it in. We would say every hour dad has to push it around the living room. I think you would also need to get her, uh, like a first-class seat. I see. Yeah. You wouldn't be able to tell her, like, the seat you sit in every day to watch TV is better than a first-class seat. You would have to actually get it. Oh, maybe if you could bring it over the couch, or she's got a big chair. Um, I think her big chair's pretty first-class. Yeah. I mean, again, as a reminder, first-class seats are, like, nice on a plane, but, like, they're not good, like, seats for your house. Right. It would look untoward in your house. Lewis Black, I'm going to just tell you my favorite Lewis Black joke. And there's many. Yeah. But, uh, Lewis Black, and again, this is, I think you'll approve it, Posh, because it's a trip-related joke. Okay. Lewis Black once said, if you ever have a chance to fly to New Zealand, don't. Because we want to know what it's like to fly to New Zealand, sit in a chair and squeeze your head for 20 hours. And then he said, I don't want to hear people say, oh, but you got to do first-class. He goes, if you want to know what it's like in first-class, sit in your nicest chair and squeeze your head for 20 hours. Yeah. I mean, speaking of travel, I hope everyone's holiday travel plans have gone smoothly. Yeah. Well, that's, uh. I feel like there's always, you know, in the world we live in where, let's be honest, the news always tells you things are a disaster. I feel like every holiday, there's never been a holiday season where I've turned on CNN and there's a guy standing at the airport being like, it's going great. Yeah. I mean, they, if it bleeds, it leads, they say, in the news business. Yeah. And they don't want to tell stories about people getting there just as they planned. Yeah. And I rolled right in. We flew with eight kids and 12 pieces of luggage, and we got it all. Yeah, we got it all, and we were there for dinner. So I'm going to knock on wood until the end of time, but I will say so far so good on certainly my holiday travel. Yeah. I mean, I got the big one coming up. We'll see how we do. Yeah. Um, we've got some holiday stories. Let's listen to one. Yeah. All right. Sam, why don't you queue us up? Hi, Josh and Seth. This is Olivia from New York. First time caller, long time listener. So long time. In fact, I'm the one who came up with the Tripsters moniker from that first YouTube chat. But here's my family holiday story. Two Christmases ago, my parents made the truck from California to New York to celebrate with my husband and my baby. They are respectively a septigenarian and an octigenarian, so naturally not without a few health hindrances. My mom was slated for cataract surgery at the beginning of the new year, and my dad had just undergone emergency dental work with a brand new six tooth upper bridge fresh off of her. Fresh off the press. And on Christmas morning, after presents and breakfast, I suddenly heard my dad scream my mom's name just like Dave yells Alvin and Alvin in the chipmunks. It turns out that my mom had mistakenly thrown the cup holding his dentures away thinking that they were dirty dishes and which my neat, free husband had already taken out. Now, if we lived in the suburbs, this wouldn't be a problem. But we live on the 11th floor with 30 store building. And because of all the Christmas festivities, the trash shoot was bloated from all the Christmas hams and gift wrap, and it was backed up all the way to the seventh floor. Now, with my dad facing eight more days of a vacation and every dentist in the tri-state area apparently being closed, I, ever the dutiful daughter, marched to the trash room with our amazing on staff doorman. Armed with a ladder and a broomstick, we spent three hours shaking the trash shoot, loosening the log jam, compacting, sorting, and praying. Eventually, I spotted our orange handled Costco force flex bag and I clawed at it like a Central Park raccoon maniac and performed what can only be described as horrifying field surgery. Wearing latex gloves, I sifted through Apple Cores, coffee grounds, the remains of a shrimp cocktail ring, excavating like the world's most disgusting archaeologist. After three full passes, we discovered a tear in the bag where the dentures had escaped, and at this point, I can only assume they're somewhere out there clacking across someone's desk like a toy. I hope they're very happy. My dad eventually came down and said, I appreciate your valiant effort, but even if you found them, do you really think I was going to put them back in my mouth? So, lessons learned, do not let your vision impaired mother help with housework and always tip your doorman well. And, Seth, you know this better than anyone because the only task more unpleasant than digging through a million garbage bags with me on Christmas morning is probably delivering a baby in the lobby. Happy holidays. Oh my God. Yeah, a lot to unpack there. A lot to unpack there. I wish he'd said, you know, and then my dad came down and said, I'm missing 16. Weirdly, I do, I think yours was worse. I think I'd rather have a baby. I mean, again, I didn't have the baby. Right. I think maybe Alexi would maybe say she'd rather. Although, you know what? Alexi's a neat freak like your husband. I think she'd probably, if given the choice, have a baby in a lobby, then have to go through an apartment building's worth of trash. Yeah. I mean, finding, being able to identify your bag of trash is really, I felt like that was what a great find. Yeah. I mean, like, oh, well, that makes it easier, but it doesn't and it didn't. Yeah. I mean, this is really making me think I got to get my own signature trash bag next time. You know what I mean? Yeah. Monograms. Should I get a monogram trash bag for the next time? Probably not. You know, Axel is now wearing kind of like an Invisalign retainers. Uh-huh. And obviously, I wore a retainer, which was a disaster era for me. Yeah. I had a lot of relationships with, well, just with dad. I would say my relationship with dad was strained in the way my mouth was when I put in my retainer once a month instead of every night. But, you know, there was, back in the day, you lost a retainer and it was a full disaster. There's a great scene in Parenthood. Early in the movie Parenthood, Rusty Martin is just like going through a Chuck E. Cheese garbage can, looking for one. Yeah. Because if you don't retain the shape of your mouth, then it all goes to hell again. Yeah. So you go to the orthodontics and they say, you've been detained. Yeah. If you can't retain it, they'd detain you. Uh-huh. He, but Axel wears these ones that you wear, like for a week at a time. They're like plastic and disposable enough. Right. And so I, but I have like muscle memory to the panic of like when we leave a restaurant, someone's like, Axel, where, and do you know what we call them? Because it's much like we call my headgear a gummy. We've just, the whole family from Addie on up to me, just says your teeth. We just call them teeth. We're like, Axel, where are your teeth? Yeah. That's, that's a rough, that's a rough story. Your wife, Alexi, you know, ages ago when you guys were visiting New Hampshire, thought she had thrown her license into trash. Yes. Yes. I was home and I tore open like three bags of trash in the garage, laid them out on the sort of cement garage and just poured through everything and couldn't find it. Um, and somehow you guys were able to get on a plane without an ID, I want to say. Yeah. I can't figure out how we did it, but we did manage to get on a plane without an ID. Yeah. Um, oh, it's cause she found it. No, I'm just kidding. We never told you. We got in the car and we're like, what are we going to do? She's like, oh, here it is. Yeah. I mean, it's not like, oh, it's better if it's your trash. If it's your trash, it's still trash. It's still stuff you. Yeah. Well, and in that case, it was dad trash. Oh yeah. Dad trash. Um, I mean, it's really sweet though. I like, uh, when did you, can I tell you an embarrassing thing? Sure. Is it about the clothes that you're wearing today? I know, I'm so sorry. You're dressed up for the holidays. I came from the gym, everything went tight and I realized when I turned this on and saw you in your scarf and your colorful shirt, I'm like, son of a God. Also, I'm just kind of blending into the back. It's just like a bad green look for me and I'm so sorry. No, it's okay. It does look like, what's the movie, the wrestling movie with, um, um, Fox catcher. It's, you've got your real Fox catcher look on right now. I'm pretty good. I don't know. Well, thank you. Um, not great for the holidays, but. I feel like I was way too old before I understood what a septic genarian and octogenarian meant. Oh really? I knew it meant old person. I didn't realize it meant like, like, I mean, again, when the, you know, when the puzzle piece went together, I'm like, oh, in their seventies and their eighties. Yeah. But I just, I'm going to own that like, I just thought it meant like old person. What do you think it is when you're in your nineties? Uh, dead person. Uh, it must be a non-enginearian. Probably. Yeah. Yeah. Nano, nano. Yeah. Nano. That's why they say nano. Nano came from that. Nano is originally what you call the nine year old woman. And then they were like, you know, most of them are grandmothers. Is that a good nickname? Yeah. Um, again, I know we talk about a lot, uh, you know, because the kids were just with, uh, the punks just the way they could, they've now, they went from them both being the punkas to now it is hurry and punks. Yeah. And the fact that like dad is punks to the kid is just perfect. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect. It's a perfect nickname. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, yeah. So those of you who think you can't get a new nickname later in life, just stick with it. You sure can. Never say, never say die. Um, great story. Thank you so much. And thank you for your service. And thank you for the tripsters call out. Yeah, exactly. Well, we're talking about Nick, great nicknames. Let me just hand us tripsters. Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, all right, Sam, we got another story. Hi, Josh and Seth. My name is Andra. I now live in Providence, Rhode Island, but I grew up in the suburbs of Philadelphia. I didn't celebrate Christmas growing up, but I did live for Christmas vacation. Every Christmas vacation was spent visiting my snowbird grandparents in Florida. In December, 1979, when I was about four and a half years old, our core four, mom, dad, big brother and I happily flew from Philadelphia to West Palm Beach, where two sets of grandparents eagerly awaited our arrival at the Palm Beach Airport. My mom presumably packed my clothes and I had packed my carry-on bag, but the only thing that mattered inside of it was my most prized possession, a security blanket, which was called my Schmata. That's Yiddish for rag. Because my mom's parents lived in the summer in New York, while my dad's parents lived near us in Philadelphia, we spent most of our vacation time with my mom's parents at their condo in a gated community called the Fountains. Most years, our aunt, uncle and two cousins who lived in Houston would join us at the Fountains and all of the grandkids would sleep at the grandparents condo while the adults stayed in a nearby hotel. At the Fountains, the kids would ride bikes, do arts and crafts, go swimming, and so on. At night, after a full day of activities, I slept soundly with my Schmata by my side. One day, about halfway into our two week visit, my family said to me, four and a half is a little old for a security blanket. My mom said she would mail the Schmata home just to see if I could survive the rest of the vacation without it. Maybe this would be the first step towards getting rid of it for good. I did not like the plan, but presumably I thought it sounded reasonable. After all, in the end, I would get my blanket back. At the end of vacation, I was actually eager to leave Florida so that I could be reunited with my Schmata. After we pulled into the driveway at home and unloaded the luggage from the car, my dad collected two weeks worth of mail. Now, I was expecting a very important package, but I only saw mail in the shapes of envelopes. Where's my Schmata? I immediately asked. Mom and dad were quiet for a moment, figuring out how to say what needed to be said. So my older brother enthusiastically exclaimed, we threw your Schmata in the dumpster at the fountains. My heart literally broke. The shock silenced me and I went upstairs to my room to cry. I still felt crushed as I recount the story. Very recently, my brother and I, who are now in our fifties, left our families in New York and Rhode Island respectively to visit our parents in Florida after my dad had knee replacement surgery. I'd like to note that my grandparents have passed away, but my mom and dad still live at the fountains, though in a different house. I told them I'd planned to call this story into your podcast, and my mom started laughing. She explained that she had been hiding the Schmata in her suitcase the entire time. They never threw it in the dumpster, but because I had cried in silence and did not make a big scene, she did not feel obligated to return the blanket to me. Thanks, guys. I love the podcast. Let me tell you, Josh's face through this, I swear to God, if he could march down to the fountains right now, he would have words. I would be in the dumpster. I would have words. Wouldn't it be crazy if you went in the dumpster and you found the teeth from the first story? Oh my God, yeah. And they were just like holding on to the Schmata. The Schmata was in the mouth of the first story. Oh my God. Gosh, I hadn't even known- Pasha was not happy with this story. He did not care for it at all. I mean, I care for the story because I care for- Yes, of course. He did not care for the behavior of anybody as saved for the storyteller. Yeah, also because you cried silently, they were like, yeah, I guess we won't give it to her. Like at that point, I would think, her mother should put it away as a keepsake, obviously something that was very important to her daughter. And then I was hoping that it was going to be, I kept it and I still have it and here it is and I'll give it to you as a 50 year old and wouldn't that be the magic of the holidays come to life? But no, just like we took it from you and then because you didn't make too big of a stink, we were like, yeah, I guess that's it. Yeah. It also, I don't know, it feels like it's incentivizing loud crying. Yeah. You don't know what I mean, which I got no love for. No, no love at all. The brother certainly, also a full villain in this story. Yeah, I mean, real Scott Farkas. Yeah, he really wanted to get the sadness out. He wanted to just blast you with the sad. Yeah. And that her parents would just be like, oh yeah, her brother said it was in the dumpster. So we'll go with that too. Yeah, they like, what's our plan when we get home? Like, let's see what our son does. Follow his lead. And if it's something good, we'll just go with that. Ooh, dumpster. Remember he said dumpster and she got real quiet and then we just wiped our hands like, all right. Done with the smelt. Yeah. Yeah, I imagine, you know, the, I feel like the complaint that a lot of parents have for these, you know, teddy bears that are around for years and things like, you know, blankets is that they get pretty gross after a while and they're like so beat up, but kids just don't care. Like they just want them. And so I understand the impulse to be like, all right, we got to do this thing. Seen its day. But if it's that important to a kid, you know, we, you were saying like, we should come up with a better plan. I, so we, it's funny because again, Alexi is so on top of it, like all our kids have a different thing. Yeah. And Axl has these like little white dogs where they're like a dog's head and then like a rat, like the dog's body is like basically a Shmata. And we've got like six of them because we're so worried about losing one. But like then Axl knows there's six. So he's like, he's got to sleep with three now. Yeah. Um, Addy, you know what Addy calls her little thing? Dubba dub. Dubba dub. Yeah. I was, I slept in her bed last time I was there. Yeah. And there was a dubba dub on the bed and I took a picture and sent it to her and then she video called me to tell me that I was holding it wrong. And there were some very specific things that I needed to do, but she was happy that I was with the dubba dub. She, yeah, she was not there when Josh was sleeping in her bed and she really wants, she's very upset that she's the only person in our family who sleeps alone. And she wants a three tiered bunk bed. And this morning she got in bed and was talking to me about how much she wanted that because she, like now she's waking up early and just like walking into her room because she's lonely. And I'm like, you do you really want to sleep with Ajnax all day? Wait. And she's like, yeah, or you want to sleep with mama. And she has the littlest bed as you know. Yeah. And Alexi was like, I can't, we can't be in the same bed. And she goes, I will get on top of you. Either that wouldn't be all bad. I mean, in small doses having Addy blank, it's a pretty good way to go. It's a weighted blanket. That's not too heavy. It's a little. So again, if you are, if there's any message to take from that story, if you're sort of a dark hearted soul, the fountains is a good place to spend your remaining years. I also like by the way that the grandparents are, their hands aren't clean either. They were like, she's too old for a Shimada. Send it. Send it home. Yeah. Also, I know this is, it countered everything I've said so far. You were too old for a Shimada and it was time for somebody to do something. It's four and a half. All right. Well, sorry that that worked out the way it did. Yeah. But at least, at least you found some resolution in knowing that it hadn't been thrown in the dumpster and that you just didn't cry loud enough. Yeah. I don't know. It's a tough one to walk away from being like, well, I learned a lesson. I really don't know why you learned that. I still want to know. Like I don't, I don't know what the actual end of the Shimada was. Like did they just throw it away once she thought it had been thrown away? Yeah, maybe that was it where they were like, hey, I think we got out of this thing. Yeah. Let's get out while the getting's good. Hey, we're going to take a quick break and hear from some of our sponsors. Ready to launch your business? Get started with the commerce platform made for entrepreneurs. Shopify is specially designed to help you start, run and grow your business with easy customizable themes that let you build your brand, marketing tools that get your products out there, integrated shipping solutions that actually save you time from startups to scale ups online, in person and on the go. Shopify is made for entrepreneurs like you. Sign up for your $1 a month trial at Shopify.com. Here we go. Um, hi. Well, hopefully we get a little more uplifting on our next story. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see. Sam. Hi, Seth and Josh. My name is Darryl and this story takes place at Christmas time in 2020. My 20 year old daughter, Maria was in school in Washington, DC while I was living in Austin. Like every college student during the pandemic, she was having a rough year. Online classes, weird living arrangements, zero social life. She was coming to Austin for winter break, but she didn't want to fly. So I did what any slightly unhinged, but loving mom would do. I drove 25 hours to DC to pick her up. I was determined to make this trip fun, even though most of America was basically closed for business. We packed her stuff, including her cat, Posey and his litter box and a 7,500 piece Lego Millennium Falcon. Because why not? And we hit the road. On our second night, we stayed at the famous Peabody Hotel. I'm not especially proud of this next part, but moms everywhere will understand. While Maria waited by the elevator, I checked in. She pretending to be invisible, me pretending that the cat carrier disguised as a suitcase didn't meow. We successfully smuggled Posey in, caught the parade of ducks and felt like rebels. I wanted to show Maria Beale Street, but when I say it was shut down, I mean zombie apocalypse shut down. The only thing open in Memphis was the giant bass pro shop inside a giant pyramid. We were so thrilled something was open that we spent hours wandering around it pretending to be outdoorsy people. Then Hallelujah Graceland was open. I'm not a huge Elvis fan and Maria barely knew who he was, but that visit changed everything. Graceland rot. My daughter came out a full blown Elvis convert. The only other major thing we found open was the JFK Museum in Dallas. And wow, it was fascinating and beautifully done. We had an amazing visit and yes, we actually finished the Millennium Falcon. At the end of a break, I finally put my foot down and made Maria and Posey fly home because once was enough for that drive. The only problem, you can't take a massive Lego spaceship on a plane. So now I'm the proud owner of a huge awkward, dust collecting Millennium Falcon, a permanent reminder of our great pandemic road trip. I mean, that is a good mom. That's a great mom. I mean, I wish when when when Shmada hears this story, she's going to be like she never would have thrown it away. Sorry I'm doing such a bad job remembering people's names today. No, that's her name. Her first name was Shmada though, right? No. Andra, it was Andra. Yeah. Andra is like, oh my God, this way, you know, because by the way, let me tell you this, four and a half may or may not be too old for Shmada. 20 years old is too fucking old for a Millennium Falcon Lego. And to even have it be like, oh, well, how am I going to fly this back home? How do you run into this sort of roadblock of like, oh, but this we might have to drive. Imagine driving 25 hours to pick somebody up there. I'm going to bring my Lego. This is what a great mom. And I will say that is, I bet that that's how I will, if I ever go to Graceland, I hope it's like that where I can't. There's nowhere else to go. And I go there and I have this like incredible eye opening experience because it is not on my list of places to go. Yeah. I mean, I've sat on the show. I've been and I really enjoyed it. I've also been to that Peabody Hotel. I have to. Yeah. Have you seen the parade of ducks? I have, man. You don't go to the Peabody Hotel and skip the ducks. Well, I don't know. You're like, yeah, you know what? I might be the guy who skips the ducks. I take it all back. It was a fair question. And yeah, I mean, that's just making it work with what you've got. And it speaks to sort of, it speaks to some of the best things about the holidays is that people are willing to go to great lengths to be together. And yeah, I really applaud Darrell. I feel like I do want to, for the people who don't know about the Peabody Hotel in Memphis. Yeah. What is it? At like noon, like a guy comes out all dressed to the nines. Yeah. He's all dressed up and then the ducks come out of an elevator, I think. Yeah. And then they go to a fountain. Yeah. In the middle of the lobby. And they like, they come in and then they hang there for a good while. And then I think there's like, there's a procession and there's a recession of the ducks. And I don't know, maybe it's at 12 and four or something like that. But it's, it's, everyone is so charmed by seeing ducks get off an elevator and just they know exactly where they want to go. That's a perfect word for it. If you said, what is the experience? It is charming. You were just low key charmed. Yeah. I would say the minute it was over, I knew it would be the last time I'd watch the ducks. This is, you're proving my point. Look, I take it back. If I was with my kids, of course, I'd be like, let's go see the procession of ducks. But as a, I mean, I think I was in, I think I was in Memphis doing stand up. And so it wasn't like I was like, I'll, you know, I'll extend my trip of data. Oh, yeah. See the ducks. Okay. And extend your trip a day. But if it's like, that's what you're saying. You were like, just go. If you're up in the room and it's 11.45 and you're like, well, I'd rather read five more pages of my book and go downstairs and get a good spot. See the ducks. I think the fun thing to do is go down and when the ducks come out, scream really loud. There was one more yesterday. Especially if kids are there. Or I think it would be, maybe if you bought a duck costume and you just came down at noon every day and walked out. Oh, and walked out and gotten the pond. Yeah. And everyone would be very confused because they would know 100% you weren't a duck. Yeah. Yeah. And then at the restaurant, again, only if kids are within your shadow, I think you can ask the waiter, is the duck good? Is it like a seafood restaurant where that's like the lobster tank? You just go down and you're like, yes, yes, yes. The one with the green head, please. Yes, yes. The mallet. The plump one with the green head. There's the Bass Pro Shop. Someone, someone once posted this thing. There's like, there are big signs and I feel like it was a Bass Pro Shop is what this story is from. And there are signs that say like what department it is. And one of the signs said fashion. And someone on like Instagram had just taken a camera and set it up there and then put on all these different what could be called like fashion outfits and did like a catwalk thing coming out of the fashion thing. And it was cut together so well, really, really made me laugh. Yeah. That's great. Whoever did that. Applause. Bravo. And applause to Daryl for making that trip to. Unbelievable. Yeah. Unbelievable. Just love it. I think we have another story. Yeah, let's hear it. True story, Sam. We got one more. We'll take one more. I like that you were asking like, do you have a true story? Actually, do we have a liar? Did a liar send in a story? If it better be good. Oh, better be good if you're going to lie about it. Hi, Seth. Hi, Josh. This is Marnie. I'm falling from San Antonio, Texas. We moved here in 1963 from Iowa. And this is a Christmas vacation family reunion and trip. We stayed with my aunt in a large rural farmhouse outside of all Lake Iowa, which is the birthplace of Andy Williams. But the story begins in about 1950. A door-to-door salesman came to see my mom and he had a handy veggie chopper. My mom scheduled an appointment that night for a fancy official demonstration. But when my dad got home, he said, that's not going to work. And she canceled the appointment for the demonstration, but sort of sat on it for 20 years. I love everything that's going on right now. When the Christmas trip came up two decades later, the Vegumatic was introduced and widely marketed. I believe that was a Ron Popeal product. Christmas Eve, she received the Vegumatic from my dad. And that night, he, my uncles and brother, stayed up late trying to booby trap with plastic wrap or any device. But they were unable to sabotage the Vegumatic. So Christmas day after breakfast, the aunt's uncles, cousins all crowded into the kitchen for the long-awaited demonstration. My mom used a tomato and somehow it exploded and sprayed tomato seeds, juice, pulp on everyone. Hours later, it still dripped from the ceiling. My mom was a real good sport about it and subsequent veggies, including tomatoes, were successfully chopped. It was a great trip and the last time that we were really all together in that big family. Happy holidays to the Myers and to all the listeners. Really enjoy the show. Thank you. Oh, Marnie. Marnie, that is the most, I couldn't stop laughing thinking about dad listening to the story. To what end were they trying to booby trap it? No, but it seemed like they effectively did if the tomato went everywhere. So poor, so this is Marnie's mom in the 50s? Yeah. So in the 50s, her husband's like, no way, Jose. Yeah. And then 20 years later, 20 years later, he buys it for her for the purposes of booby trapping. And then tomatoing his own home. That's comeuppance. That's comeuppance. I also just the tag at the end of like, that was the last time we were all together. I mean, it's great to have a great memory to sort of tie it together. And I will say Marnie's family, I bet that's probably, I don't think they look back on that and are thinking like, man, if we knew his last time, we shouldn't have rigged up that veggie chopper to spray tomato all over mom. I mean, it sounds like. I think it's a real rock and roll. Like we played it just right. Yeah. I mean, it is, it's fireworks. It's fireworks in your own home, but it's just one big old tomato explosion. Also, just on delivery, Marnie, I just couldn't get enough of how insane that story was and how normal Marnie was telling it. Yeah. I appreciate it. At some point I felt like we were two cops just sort of nodding along. Like trying to be respectful by while wondering why we got a phone call, you know, where I was like, but what, and that's, yeah, man, we understand. What was the crime? Ron Popeal. Ron Popeal was a real fun blast from the past. Yeah. I think RIP Ron Popeal, I think he passed away. Yeah. All those letters are in it. I mean, definitely R for the Ron and then IP are both in Popeal. Oh, you weren't spelling it. That's, that was great, Marnie. That's the hardest I've laughed at a story. Oh yeah. I couldn't get enough of that. Yeah. I feel like every event at Marnie's house was like fully crazy and nobody raised their voice. I mean, the notion of like her dad and all the uncles just getting together for some to cause some hijinks. They just seem like a group you'd want to hang with. Yeah. Yeah. Marnie's husband, when Marnie's husband and his brothers are around, look out. You want to party with those dudes? Yeah. Well, this has been great. It was just a delight, man. Yeah. Happy holidays, everyone. Also, you all have such lovely families, obviously excluding Andra. Is the only good person and a, you know, conclave of demons. But it is just so lovely to hear stories about families who enjoy each other on the holidays. And yeah, thanks, everybody. Yeah. I hope you guys have just wonderful holidays. And if anything goes wrong, hold on to those stories, call them in for next year. And shoot over to YouTube real quick and tell me, does my sweatshirt qualify as a Shimada? I think it might. Yeah. And the true Yiddish meaning of the word, it does. It's a rag. Posh definitely, if Posh had his druthers, he would definitely throw this in the garbage and tell me he mailed it to me. It's the only way to get rid of it. Thanks, everybody. Thanks, everybody. Happy holidays. Bye. Olivia's a New Yorker. Her parents came on the holiday. Dad's dentures got thrown away. Trash stacked up seven floors to boot. They disappeared inside the old trash chute. They disappeared inside the old trash chute. During COVID season. In a bid to avoid the disease. Daryl drove all the way to DC, got her daughter and her cat Posi and started driving back down south. And started driving back down south. Well, don't forget the Lego set that her daughter just had to pack everything was great. But at the end of the break, Daryl said, you're flying back. Can we talk about Andrew? Let's talk about Andrew. Went on down to Florida. Parents said, let me see a schmada. We'll hold on to it for you. And they said they put it in the mail. And they said they put it in the mail. Her brother blurted it out. We threw it out when they got home. Man, that is rough. And if you wonder why, because when she cried, she didn't cry loud enough. Marnie had a real winner. Had a real winner. Truly a family classic. Her mother received a Vegematic. Dad and uncles tried to booby trap it and a tomato exploded. Tomato exploded. Pop all over everyone. To all listeners. Dearest listeners. Thank you so much for listening and happy holidays. To you. Dearest listeners. Happy holidays. Dearest listeners. Happy holidays.