Danny Trejo + Paul Scheer (Carolla Classics)

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And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us at classics at adamcarolla.com. Now on to the clips. Coming to the first day, we have Adam Carolla Show 1851. This episode is featuring Paul Scheer, Vinnie Tortorich, Gina Grad, and Brian Bishop from 2016. Hope you guys enjoy. Gina Grad, good day. Good day to you. And, Paul Bryan. How did your flight through customs that fast? Oh, Vinnie Tortorich is here. Hello. I've been thinking about this a little bit. And, Chris, I think I sound a little weird, but not horribly weird. But Dawson's still, his flight probably just landed. I've got a million stories to tell, Airbnb complaints, all sorts of stuff. Brian was in Kauai. Kauai. It's my push-pull argument. Do we need a Hawaii and a Kauai? And how much confusion is that? There's a Molokini? Yeah. All right. There's only 13 letters in the Hawaiian alphabet. They've got to stretch them pretty thin. We've got all that. Paul Scheer's out there. Gina was in Cabo? Yeah, Gina was in Cabo. And I just feel like we should just get to that next time we meet in studios. Does everyone have all their stories lined up? I got stories chambered. All their travel stories chambered because I got a million of them, too. But I don't want to give a short shrift. Vinny is here. Vinny's got a book, and it's Fitness Confidential. I listen to the audio version of it, and it'll change your life. Gina Grad is down 20, 25. It's hard. Vacation's hard. Well, actually, it was pretty easy. Vacation was just, you know, fajitas and vegetables and stuff. But I'm still toggling right around 20, but I'm happy with that. Good. You should be. Thank you. We'll play a fit or BS with Vinny and a couple of you. Vinny's also doing a show, Ice House. That's coming up July 14th. I hear the sales are brisk. That's what I'm hearing, too. I was told by Mike. He says, hey, your first time out, you know, if you get 30 seats filled. And we went right past 30 to 40. and I don't know where it is now because Mike has been out of town with you. Yeah. Yeah, people keep tweeting that they're coming, and I'm excited about it, and I'm looking forward to it. And I think Max. You realize I'm not a comedian. Vinny, you're trying to sell tickets. Come on. But I'm not a comedian. Max and Pat is going to be playing there as well, right? Yeah, yeah, I'm going to be opening up. Oh, we just got a couple of refunds. No. All right, a couple of phone calls, then we'll play a little game with Vinny. And like I said, I have so much to talk to you guys about, and everyone does, so we'll just save it for the next show. Let's see. Tom, 30, Florida. Ace Man, welcome back. What's going on? Not much. Since you've been away, I just noticed, I don't know if you saw the story or talked about what they found in Michael Jackson's computer, all the different weird pornography. I feel like it came out for a day and then everyone stopped talking about how crazy that is. And I don't know if you have an opinion on that. Well, you know, what Snoop Dogg is to weed, Michael Jackson is to crazy. Nobody ever goes, oh, wow, boy, you should see how high my eyebrows raise right now. I found that fetish for him. There's nothing on the – it's actually kind of a shrewd move, which is like early on in your career, you try to buy the elephant man's bones. Right. And then you sleep in a hyperbaric chamber. You take a chimpanzee to the Grammy. Right, right. And then McCulloch Culkin. The next thing you know, whatever goes on after that just falls under weird. Right. It doesn't fall under macabre or sexual or deviant or criminal. It's now all just part of your weirdness. Bill Simmons calls that the Tyson zone. You get the Tyson zone, you can do whatever you want, you know, tigers and whatever. Yeah. Yeah, so the, so, but it's funny, we were, I was listening, do we have Man in the Mirror? I was complaining about that in London. We were driving out of London, and we're passing, like, Buckingham Palace. That's not even a tool to imagine. And this song came on the van that was driving us, and I was thinking about Mike, and I thought, he probably should have took a longer look in the mirror when he was writing this song. but also list how many of his short little that's and ooze are in the beginning you would not have this if I was the engineer because I'd be like we're going to cut that out it goes a long way where were you Quincy? yeah the hiccups I turned up the car I'll fade the winter cold This thing that's blowing my mind I still hit the street Are there no Shimon? In the end? From what I understand and Tom maybe you know better some pretty violent some pretty violent child pornography images and bestiality correct? Was he involved in it or just... I think he was a collector. A horrible way to put it. Yeah. I think he was something horrible. Here's what... Although, can we just start... You know, it's funny. I was talking to Mike August about just a little glimpse. This whole thing where we have these adages, like, you ready to get to know the guy? No, you don't. You just need one little glimpse into the psyche. I was having fun with Mike because we were laughing about Mike Dawson and the time... You've got to get another guy. Lisa Loeb. I was just thinking about that. It's the greatest story ever where he just showed up at the radio station and he went like you know, you hear him going out with Lisa Loeb tonight or something? I went, you are? And he went, yeah. And I said, you're going out with Lisa Loeb? She's hot, she's rich, she's young, she's got a Grammy. And he's like, yeah. And I said, how's that work? How do you know Lisa Loeb? And he said, I don't. And I said, well, how is it you're going out with her? She's coming in today, right? I said, yep. And he went, she's single. And I went, yeah. She's got a show about being single. Well, she comes in. She's single. I ask her out. I like that. I'm single. I like that. That's right. I was saying that. Well, Dawson's not here to defend himself. I don't know if he would defend that. I'd like to be a little bit more like Dawson. But here's all I'm saying. That's Dawson's psyche. Well, you don't need a whole hundred examples. That's how we think. I don't know. Did they go? Yeah, of course. They didn't go out. I've been married for 11 years. There are so many musical little prodigies running around the house. No. She said no, but. Can you imagine a voice on that kid? Oh, yeah. But in terms of, like, if I find something on your computer that's got this, that's enough. I only need to see, like, one image. If you're into it, you're into it. I don't need to sit back and look at your entire pornography career or whatever else you're into. The people that are into this are into it, and the people that aren't, aren't sort of peeking through the window of it. It's not like I sit around every other Wednesday and go, I wonder if today's the day I really take the plunge into child pornography. Some stuff is kind of interesting out there. It's not like what people do with cigars. where they don't really smoke cigars, and then one of their friends introduces them to a good Cuban, and they go, I kind of enjoy this. I've never been on my life. They're reading a magazine that had, and they're learning about it. It's not that. You're either in or you're out, and if you're out, you're a million miles out. It's not even one of those, well, now that I have kids. No, way before I had kids, it was always a million miles away. Yeah, and speaking of that, Mark Salling, remember, Puck from Glee, the show Glee? He's out on $150,000 bail right now for the same thing. So the deal is, I'm not surprised, but Michael is, he'll be missed. Wait, I have one more question. I've got to ask one more question about this. Yes. Okay, Michael Jackson dies. Yes. The first thing you do is check his penis for vitiligo. Vitiligo. Right. That's number one. You look at that, right? Yeah. We get that. Number two, don't you just sprint to his computer? I don't know how this stuff works. This was, like, sealed until now. I think they knew about it. How? It's not like a Bruna film. Well, they knew about it, but the public didn't until now. This was something that... Who's they? I think the they's. Whoever was invested in the FBI, whoever. The FBI? Who else would be invested in the FBI? You're like a great attorney. You just make gurgling noises. I wasn't there at the... I have it. I have the receipt and pictures. My wife was celebrating her anniversary That night worked We left the babysitter The babysitter can testify At one point I called on to check in When the alleged But I get it That's what happens when you're Italian When you're trying to make a point But you rode your bike 200 miles today Nothing's coming out I have a sworn affidavit from the server who brought me my bear of money. Okay. So, yes. Thanks, Tom, from Florida, where we heard on the ride in that the first manless, or not manless, but automated driving car, the first fatality was today. Florida, you say. In Florida, of course. And it was a Tesla, and then I thought it hit a semi, and then we all went, oh, my God. And then we realized, oh, no, it was a truck driver from Florida who had to be at fault. All right. Let's see. Somebody's got questions. A lot of European-related questions. All right. Let me just blast through a couple of these. The Brexit. Did it drive down the price of your Newman car? That's an interesting point. Hey, Andy? Yeah. How did that work out? Did it help you out with the purchase of that Newman car? I bought the Newman car probably about five or six. I went a little Michael Jackson. I bought the Newman car five, six years ago. Chris is showing us a picture of a Jaguar, but I think it's blown up a little big. But I bought the Newman car, I think, about six months ago. And I was already paid for it. It was just waiting for me when I showed up at Goodwood. The guy bought it. So then you just bought more cars, right? No. No, I just attempted to drive the Newman car and looked at a kajillion cars. But we were looking at some cars that were, like, on loan from the Jag Museum and on loan from the Porsche Museum. We were looking at multi, multi, multi-million dollar cars. They're not even multi-million dollar cars. You wouldn't put a price on it because Jag has in its museum. Yes. But there at the event, did cars exchange hands more since some of the American money was working? It's not a sales. There's no sales really going on. It's just bring the car, drive the car up Lord March's driveway. But nothing is happening anyway yet. It's going to be a two-year thing for the whole Brexit thing to happen. Yeah, but the stock, I thought, crashed one day, and then it came right back. But I like where your head's at, Andy. It's a whole bunch of nut jobs go to Lord Goodwood's manor and race up his driveway. but they're not selling parts. You with me? Good. You got it? Yeah. Good times. Good to be back, man. Yeah, good to be back. It was good. The crazy thing is they don't really have rules in Europe, and to get the car down to the starting line, you just go right through the crowd. You sort of push through a huge throng of human beings. It's like a Santa Monica farmer's market. Yeah, you don't run them over, but there's a bunch of people, and they just kind of run in front. That's funny. Run in front. Max Patton will show you a picture. First, I'll tell you about the – well, Max Patton knew this one was coming. Of what? Yeah, not the Santa Monica farm. He's got a lot of pictures. Sorry. Yeah, okay. The one I asked for in the car – yeah, there it is. You literally – you can go to AdamCroll.com. But you push through where everyone is walking. It's not a path. That's not a pathway for cars. That's just a walkway. And everybody, everyone has to get out of the way. And it goes all the way down to the bottom of the driveway. And it's nothing but human beings. It's like probably 75, maybe 100,000 people at this event. But good times. And I don't think you can do it anywhere other than Europe because we're horrible here. We could never pull it off. But I'll tell you what you can't pull off. Reverie Bed. That's what I missed. Man, we went. Let's see. We were like the cheapest Airbnb in Nice, south of France, then the cheapest Airbnb on the English countryside, and then, oh, and then Amsterdam, and then, God, we did it all in Ireland for a day. Oh, I miss my reverie bed. That's what I miss. The kids, eh, they're there. Wife, all right. House, fine. The dog. But reverie bed. Oh, man, it's got the adjustable base. You can get in the zero-gravity position, the anti-snore position. Plus, they've got a special offer. You get $250 off accessories. And they've got a 0% financing deal. I'm telling you, it's worth it. The tough part will be when you go on vacation like we did. You will miss it. It's reverie bread. Give them a call, 888-888-5990, 888-888-5990. Or go to sleeplikeadam.com. Check it out. Get the 0% financing. Help yourself, man. All right. Real fast, and then we'll hop on with Vinnie Collin, 34, Tampa. Ace man, first time, long time. What's going on? Hey, I love the Island Show is one of your best. I've got to ask you, though, what happened with Ryan? Did he fall to pieces afterwards? I'm sure he wasn't expected to get roasted for about 30 minutes. Oh, the, oh, the, yeah, Ireland, yeah. Yeah, we, poor guy. We had a guy come up in Ireland, and Max Fadda, this is why I told you, find out his other interests. Yeah, yeah. It worked out. Yeah. I'm a great producer. Do this. Yeah. So he was a guy who wrote us or tweeted us or whatever and said, you know, I'm going to come up there, and I'm going to tell you, like, what's wrong with Ireland or why Guinness is no good or why this whiskey is no good. or the Jamesons, or whatever it is. He was like, all right, come bring him up. And then he came up on stage, and he just crapped the bed. You could tell, you know that look that people give of I'm not used to being on stage? The one you used to have for the first 300 shows we did. Yeah, live shows. Show number 240 now? No, just not prepared to be on stage. And then his message wasn't working with the crowd because it was how bad Ireland was. And he just sat there, and I basically found myself up on stage with three people that weren't doing a lot of talking at the time. And there was no alternative but to start digging into poor Ryan. And the audience loved it, sadly, because that just fueled, you know, fanned the flames. And I just roasted him for about just a half hour. It wasn't that long. It took it easy. He laughed at him. He said his girlfriend for another ten minutes. His girlfriend was out. Was that the girlfriend next to him on stage? No, she's hot. The girlfriend's cute, too. That was the other problem. The girlfriend was cute. Yeah, yeah. She's a radio chick, and she's hot, Daniela. And then there is... Their radio chicks are hot. Then there's Ryan. Oh, man. It's been a week. Come on. There they go. That was mean. Just size you. Caller Collins, sorry. Gary Supply. Yeah. No, great shows over there. Hey, when are you getting Norm MacDonald or Bill Simmons back on? You guys are all great together. Those guys, we'll work it out, but they don't drive to the valley. Neither one of those guys. It's the weirdest thing ever. We're in the valley, and they don't go over the hill. It's like the biggest deal in the world. There's an episode of Entourage. Johnny Drama. Johnny Drama's like, oh, my God, I've got to go to the bathroom. I've got to go to the bathroom. I've got to get a wet towel hanging around my neck. Stuff like that. That's how they are. Norm physically doesn't drive and lives on the west side. Bill lives on the west side, does drive, but works on the west side. It's the weirdest thing. I told Norm, I'll teach you how to drive. He doesn't drive at all? people have no idea how weird norm mcdonald's people do but not well see there you go you don't know he doesn't drive he doesn't drive he has to drive him does he know how to drive have you ever seen unclear unclear i'm getting ready to go again unclear unclear very unclear i i don't think he The last one checked in, you did not drive. Thanks, Colin. Hey, thanks a lot. Appreciate it. And last but not least, Roman, 26. Ramon. Oh, Ramon, sorry. Ramon, sorry. What's going on? Oh, did I hit that? Taking balance, silence. Ramon? You hit two. Oh, hey, man. Oh, okay. There we go. I had three. Sorry about that. Sorry about that. I'm driving home. Okay. But, yeah, I wanted to ask, what was the best and worst part of Goodwood? Well, I had this thing. All right. I'm only going to do two minutes on this. But now, Max Cipata, you've got to find the starting terrain on the starting line. So we had this. It's a weather situation over there all the time. It may rain. It may not rain. It may rain. It may not rain. And the car, now, if you're good, you'll bring a set of slicks for the dry and a set of rain tires for the wet. The rain tires are quite deeply grooved and have quite a tread pattern on there. Would almost look a little like an off-road tire. Not knobby-wise, but like a made beyond a street tire. The slicks are just a barrel of rubber. There's nothing on them. The rain tires are like past the street tire in terms of a little more tread just to get rid of the water that this car is going to be going through. So we didn't have rain tires. We just had slicks. And slicks, when it's wet, are worthless, less than worthless. It's almost dangerous and not even really worth doing it. Were you just counting on it not raining? Well, the deal was I was kind of dealing with a guy out of, like, you know, Dorchester or something over there, and he said to me, like, I'm going to get a set of rain tires. And I said, okay, get a set of rain tires. Because he said, you can run the rain tires in the dry. That's no big deal. You know, it's not optimal. You get a little bit better on the slicks. But if it's dry, you can run the rain tires. But if it's raining, then we'll have the rain tires. And I said, okay, get a set of rain tires. I'll buy a set of rain tires, put them on the car, and that's what we'll have on the car. It starts raining, it starts raining. And then about a week before we came out there, he said, I have a set of tires that we have for the car. They grooved them a little bit, meaning they literally take a soldering iron and will burn. Guys who get race tires will cut them, will shave them, will heat cycle them, will groove them, will do patterns in them and stuff. So he said, I got a set of slicks. I already have them. And, you know, it's ringing to my head that they're like $450 a corner for these tires that you're never going to use. And then he said, they have like some grooves. Like they're grooved a little bit. And then he said, I think that should be good enough. And I just sort of went like, okay. And he's the guy. He knows. He's there. But the weather just comes and goes and comes and goes. And it's kind of fun. And it's beautiful. And it's the English countryside. But I had this thing where I kept checking the weather because I wanted to know, because the car, it has about probably a little over 700 horsepower, but it has one big turbo that makes all the power. And when the turbo kicks in, it'll just spin the tires, even in the drive. And it's not a good car to drive. The band, the power band is not good when it's wet because it just comes on. It just comes on. And when it comes on, it comes on, and you'll get off the track. So I was saying the whole time, and I have it chronicle. We'll show it to you at some point. But I just said, look, about an hour before. I knew it was going to rain at, like, noon or something that day. My group was going to, like, 11.15 or 11.30. And I just said, look, here's the deal. Max Pata, as God is my witness, you're standing there. I said either I want it to be dry or I want it just to be raining, like, in advance of when we pull up to the start line. Because then it's just going to be wet. We'll take it slow. Then we don't have to show off. Or if it's dry, it's dry. But what I don't want is to pull up to the start and have it, like, just start to rain. Because then it'll be unclear whether what percentage of the track is wet, what percentage of the track is dry. Like, where should it go? I just want it to be wet or dry. That's it. Even if it starts raining three minutes or five minutes before it gets to the start line, it'll just be raining. But what I don't want it to do is just to start. Chris, this is all I said before I got into the car. And you see them pulling up, and it's dry. It's totally dry. And then they stop you. Wow. They drop air. Run back. Just go back 20 seconds. It was not raining. It was dry, and then I pulled up, and it just started to rain. It started to sprinkle, but now I didn't know if the track was dry or whatever the hell was going on. So that was a little disappointing, although it is so, oh, it hasn't. There it is. Yeah. Did it open up? Did the sky open up at any point? Yeah. Well, what happened was you can just let it run. You can turn it down and just sort of watch. You guys can see the driveway go through there. But now it's raining. It is raining. And I'm literally just a start line just waiting for the guy to go, go ahead. Now you can go. But it was sunny and bone dry before this very instant. It wasn't even like a 30-second window. It was like a 7-second window where I just pulled up. And now the camera's wet. It's completely raining now. And it was dry the whole morning. It had not rained yet at all or done anything at all that day. So you basically just go right up this guy's driveway. There are these bleachers and grandstands and people. Look at the wet ground, by the way. Oh, yeah, it's soaked. People everywhere, and now it's soaked. But it was completely dry. It's comically dark rain clouds. It's crazy, right? It is crazy. And this car has so much power that, like, at the end, with the straight line and the finish, I was like, I'm going to get into it at the end. And the thing just started. The tires were spinning in fourth gear. Turn it up, Chris. Let's hear it. Just at the, we'll see the very end. But, because I, that's a flint wall. It's a cement. It's a flint stone wall on the left. Not this TV show. The weird sucking sound is the turbo. There's no loping the engine to keep it out of the turbo, right? There's no way you can do that. Not if you want to go a little bit. You'll see at the end, I'll get into it. You'll hear it. What did the kick in, Adam? Oh, yeah. That was the tire spinning in the fourth gear. Oh, Vinny, you missed it, man. I heard it. This is his driveway. This is the guy's driveway. So if he wants to, you know, go to the circle, Kay. You go to the very top, and then you turn around, and all the other cars are just sitting at the top with this big crowd of people waiting at the top of this guy's driveway, and that's all the cars that have run. I ran early. I was like the eighth or ninth car. Everyone's just sitting around with umbrellas open now, and then you just go around this guy's thing, and then you queue up, and then you go all the way back down the hill again. And these are all timed? Yeah. Or this is just more of a show? Some are timed and some are show, but there you go. And as a matter of fact, there's the Ford GT that won Le Mans this year. Actually, that car didn't win. It came in, like, ninth or something. But they take cars straight from Le Mans and just bring them straight on over. They're hardcore over there. Ramon? Yeah. That was a weird part, but it was really fun, and we had a really good time. and the best part was probably, oh, actually the worst part is Chris Max Pat had never seen Red Dawn. The first one. Jennifer Grey and Patrick Slater. Yes, and we forced him to watch it at the Airbnb and he didn't care for it. That movie is not a good movie. He's a terrible movie. You let him fly back with you. Yeah, that was pretty devastating. So that was probably the worst part. All right. Vinny, what do you want to do? Want to do a little fit or BS there? Yeah, we could do that. We haven't done it in a while. Let's do it. Is that health change in my school app? Making you fit or fat? Let's get the real deal from Vinny Tortorich as we play Fit or Bullshit. All right, here we go with another round. By the way, Adam, you'll be happy to know I did Lynette's show the other day, And she grabbed me on the way out and said, hey, you know, I'm interested in talking to you about maybe going to the gym. So maybe if I could get Lynette moving in the right direction at the gym, next thing you know, I can get her to tumble a bit and get the kids to, you know, I'm working on her. I appreciate it. She's still pretty good. She's a great mom. I love Lynette. Oh, no, no. I'm Mexican like she's a monster. She's great. Oh, no. No, those kids have eaten 3,000 more eggs in the, you know, nine months that we've known you versus the two years before that. So we're doing something. Yes. All right, here we go. First question. You love coffee, but you worry about it really being good for your health, right? So, A, do you switch to decaf? B, drink regular coffee and just don't worry about it? C, try Postum, or D, there's no good choice here. Okay. It's got to be C, right? No, C's Postum, D's no good choice. I am going, I know that Vinny doesn't like decaf or low whatever or sugar removed. Altered is never good. Your body doesn't, it doesn't fool your body. All right. That, Postum's bad because it's got some sugar in it or corn syrup or something like that. I've heard, and Dr. Drew was actually saying this, that you should drink a cup of coffee before you work out. It's actually good to get some caffeine before you work out. But how can you go wrong with D? You know, just don't do anything. I'm going to go B. Have a cup of coffee, but just make it regular coffee. Me too. Coffee's good for you. With the exception, you can't do what James Babydoll Dixon does, which is take out 28 sugar packets and play it like a cassonet. and then open them all. But I'm convinced he does that to make a mess. Like it's not. It's more of territory. Yeah, we were talking about him the other day. Mike and I were like, we've got to get him to quit smoking. And I was like, he doesn't have a love of smoking. It's a love of littering. And he loves to just go from town to town and throw things out the window. In this case, cigarette butt. Yeah, well, I guess that could work. Good Nicorette trail out there. I go B. Yeah, oh, wow, that's a lot of sugar. Oh, I took a picture of what he leaves on the table. How many cups of coffee is that? Like one. Oh, come on, Alan. I literally, literally one and a half or two. That's 10 things of sugar. He'll have 10 or 13 packets of sugar in just one cup of coffee. That's crazy. I've seen this. I'll back you up 100%. This is real. Absolutely. I have witnessed this at a diner in New York City. Absolutely. I did not stage this. Well, I know it's anticlimactic. We're looking at a picture of what's spent sugar packets and cream. Yeah, and a pool of syrup. Right. I know it's anticlimactic when we all go the same way, but I've seen you drink coffee, Vinny. I've seen Adam drink coffee, and I think someone would have said something by now, so it's got to be just drink the coffee. Everyone got it right. It's B. The reason I even brought the question up, Gary knows that I wrote this maybe five or six weeks ago, and recently I heard one of your pods where you went off on Postum. Apparently, you and I have the same issue with post-it. We grew up on it. It was around when we were kids. Yeah. And it was touted as a healthy drink. Here's where the problem is. Coffee has never, ever been bad. It's the number one drink in the world next to water. Period. We would know if it was bad. It's an antioxidant. You know, doctors would always say, don't drink coffee. You've got to get off the coffee. Coffee is good for you. I have a sort of loose theory that doesn't completely hold water. but it holds a couple of coffee grounds, which is things that as a society, not our society, worldwide, just we've decided that we crave, you know, like we all crave meat, and we want savory. Chocolate. Everyone, you know, we don't agree about anything with the Middle East except for a cup of coffee in the morning. We all, everyone signs off on, I just traveled all through Europe, it's all a cup of coffee. Like, so, you know, you want that red wine at night. The things that your body sort of craves are usually, I mean, I'm not talking about heroin or nicotine. Child pornography. Yeah, child pornography. Stump-based pornography. But what I'm saying is that usually if 200 kajillion cups of coffee are served every morning, it's usually probably going to be good for you or have some positive effect. And here's the thing. And actually, C.W. Post, who came up with Postum, he was trying to figure out another way to get people to eat his crappy grains way back in the day. And back when these industrialists had a lot of money, they also had Yank with all the big media. It's the same thing that happened with marijuana and trees being cut by, what's his name? Hurst. Hurst. Oh, Hurst. Oh, you're talking about hemp. Hemp being a thing. Yeah, marijuana. That threw everyone off. Yeah, he's making pulp to be heard. Right. He's publishing a newspaper. He goes up against marijuana. Same thing happened with C.W. Post. He's gone up against him. No, but C.W. Post was trying to go against coffee to say, hey, if you drink coffee, it's going to start your growth. Right. They literally did ask us that if your kids drink coffee, they will become stupid. Well, you know, when it comes to the media and how things work, this is why it drives me nuts. But I just got off a 12-hour flight, and I sat next to Mike August, and we watched all these movies. And he just watched the 13 hours of the Benghazi movie, which I enjoyed that. And when it was done, he looked at me. I said, did you enjoy it? He said, yeah. I said, but they left out the biggest part. I said, what part? And he said, the cartoon, the thing that caused the whole thing in the first place, the cartoon or whatever the film is. And I said, no, that was just a story that the media ran with, that everyone ran with in the first few days. It turned out it was 9-11. They were planning an attack. It was not the cartoon. The cartoon thing got debunked at some point. But we all got fed the cartoon line. The early leader in the call box for the explanation and story. Right? By the way, what's it say about your religion when we're blaming it, the cartoonists? It was a drawing. It was a drawing. It's insane. But that's a story that the media wanted us to run with early. And it was like four days of we've got to get this cartoonist, which is insane. We have to get the people that murdered the ambassador. But anyway. And then Mike, three years later, is looking at me going, what about the whole cartoon? They didn't hit on the whole cartoon thing. And I was like, because that wasn't part of the. That's not what motivated them to do this. But this is how it works. You plant a seed. Move on. People run with it. That's it. My mom, 40 years after Post did this, was still thinking that coffee was bad and Post was good. Yes, crazy. Yes. In fact, it's the opposite. All right, we're moving on. We're staying with the liquids here. Water is usually touted for weight loss. How much water should you drink per day to lose weight? A, one gallon. B, two liters. C, 64 ounces, which is the 8 ounces, 8 glasses, 8 ounces a day, or D, drink to thirst. The deal of drinking and feeling full because you drink, or using a broom in your stomach or something, is there anything to a satiation drink where you drink and you feel like, all right, I don't need to eat as much because I feel something in my belly? Is there anything to that? Well, since we're playing a game, if I would answer that. Okay. All right. Sit on that. I'm going to go D just because one of the many, many things I've screamed about right up there with Purell and venereal sniffing dogs and things like that that are all coming through and crows and everything is, why are we drinking so much water to lose weight and everyone's getting fatter? And how come everyone made it without so much water and was skinny in the past? And then what is this thing where you're supposed to, yeah, take your body weight. Yeah, turn it into ounces. All right, now double that. Like every nutritionist is saying that. Where did this come from? It didn't exist before, and we're all morbidly obese, and we never were, so it can't be true. It has to just be drink when you're thirsty, like urinate when you have to pee. I'm going D. I said D as well. I always heard that the 64-ounce thing was, you know, for a long time, so I had eight ounce glasses of water. But then I heard that you actually consume a lot of water in the foods you eat, vegetables and blah, blah, blah. So it's not actually drinking. It's consuming 64 ounces. But I said D regardless. Okay. I also think it's D. But just to not say D, I'm going to say a gallon. You can say D. You're such a pleaser. No, I'm not. I just want to make it a little more exciting. All right. So go with D. Go with D. I know you. It's D. It's D. And here's the deal. Thank you for doing my rant for me. But nutritionists drive me crazy because they just spout what they hear. I think they just go and Google and just make an opinion. The whole thing drives me crazy. I'll tell you what really drove me nuts. When Michelle Obama couldn't push the whole exercise and be healthy thing because she was trying to go up against big food. Right. They shut the low lady down. So the next thing she went with was, well, just drink an extra glass of water a day and that will make you lose weight. I'm going, wait a minute. This is our government and the first lady doing this? Are we out of our freaking minds? Yeah, well, just the pyramid. I mean, just the idea that the government, that the pyramid was so screwed up with all the grains and stuff up top and desserts in the middle and all that stuff. Yeah, it's scary and sad, especially something that's pretty easy. You know, we've been doing organ transplants for 50 years, you know. I think probably the first heart lung was probably done 40 years ago. You know, we know what the inside of a human body looks like. We're not praying to the volcano and throwing a virgin in. Why is this so? But we do that. That's the problem. Look, what they say, you were asking earlier, if you drink more water, you will feel full. That's one of the theories. The other one is, if you drink enough water, it will flush the fat out of your liver. And I sit there and just go, who's signing off on this? Well, one thing I did hear was if you think you're hungry, drink some water because you're probably thirsty. You're probably dehydrated. Is that BS? If you have hunger pangs and you live in the United States, meaning you're not starving, you're not in India, it's because your body released a hormone called ghrelin. And all you have to do is control that. That's why, you know, when Adam talks about MCT oil, all you need is a little bit of fat to go in. It tells the ghrelin I have fat in my body. It cuts off. Grelin gum. We need some Grelin gum because MCT oil is great, but it's a little unwieldy. You can keep it in the fridge. You can't have it in your car, but some Grelin gum. There you go. All right, last one. Winter take all. We pick it all in advance. I'm going A. I'm just going A. You don't want to do that. You want to go with. That's fine. Okay, you're a beer drinker, but you know that it's tough to move. We're going to have Brian and Gina pick in advance? I'll be C. Like this all, C. Okay. C minus. Fine, B. Yeah, go B. Pick B, Gina. Okay. Everybody wants to drink beer. They want to know if they can drink beer and eat no sugars, no grains, and the whole thing. So if you were going to drink beer, A, go with a light beer, B, get it to IPAs. Yeah. Or C, go alcohol-free near beer. Oh, don't know. I rescind my vote. Go with a strong B. All right. Well, I got A. I got the light beer. Yeah, my answer sucks. Not alcoholic. It's not the alcohol. It's the calories. It's the malt and the yeast and all that stuff. So you're going with what, Brian? I picked C ahead of time. But you can repick. No, I can't. I can't. We're locked. Okay. I'm going with B on this one, and here's why. IPAs have more alcohol per house, right? You're going to get drunk quicker. You're not going to keep drinking it. Well, let's get back to your chips that are air puffed and have a Lester in them and stuff like that. If you eat a pillowcase worth of those chips and you're never satiated or satisfied. You're sat down in the long run. Yeah, so better, you're going to drink 22 Miller Lights versus a couple of IPAs overall. But what is the difference between, if you weren't, you're just drinking 12 ounces. Right. And one's a Bud Light, Miller Light, Coors Light, whatever, and the other is a beer that we, Brian and I, would enjoy the hell out of. Let's say Endless Rant IPA. Is it all calories? I mean, what's the real difference in that situation? There's not a whole lot of difference. Go with the beer you're going to enjoy, especially the IPAs. I don't know what your Endless Rant has, but it's like 6-2, I think is what it is. You know what a light beer has? Like 4-2. Or even less. Wait a second. I think it might be less than that. And we're talking about alcohol content, Gina. So I'm a guy who says drink distilled liquors. You're getting closer to a distilled liquor with an IPA versus not being with an IPA. Right. So if you're going to enjoy a beer, enjoy the IPA. Your beer theory or fact, for you, it's consistent, which is if you're going to have a cookie, just have a real cookie. Don't have the snack well cookie. And if you're going to have, don't eat the cookie, but if you want to eat the cookie on a Sunday, then eat a real cookie. And if you want to eat a potato chip, eat a real potato chip, because the fat is going to do you good. And in this case, it's like swap out the fat with the alcohol and go, in this case, you want to be satiated. In the alcohol case, you want to catch a buzz, and it's a lot easier to catch a buzz. Yep. All right, Vinny. Good stuff, man. Have an outro? Now, you know the fit facts from the shit facts. Fitness Confidential is the name of the book. Obviously live on stage with Max Pata at the Ice House in Pasadena coming up July 14th. And also we've got a podcast in here, right? Yeah. Celebrity Fitness Trainer Podcast. We have 650 shows out. Been doing it for four years. And you can check that out at iTunes or wherever you like. And, yeah. When's that one on? Gina's coming up tomorrow. When this show comes out, go right over after this show. Go and check out Gina on. It was pretty funny. You're going to have a great time. Paul Scheer. Yes. I did edit for you, Gina. Paul Scheer is the hero. I'm glad to have him back. He'll be in studio next. Paul Scheer in studio. You know him for everything, really. I'm excited to be here, and I have a question right out of the gate for you, because I think this happened while you were away. How do you think Jay Leno took that car flip? Jay Leno was in a car accident, like he was shooting a thing for one of his web series. Yeah, he rolled the car. Somebody tweeted me that. Well, the thing that was funny is the last time a decade ago, maybe it was even 11 years ago, that I was at Goodwood for the Festival Speed, That car, Hemi under glass, it's a Dodge, like a 66 Barracuda or something like that, and they put the Hemi engine in the back of it. And the thing about the Hemi engine in the back of it is it gives it weight in the back, and the car wheelies. Oh, my God. And the guy looks through the floorboards. He has a window to look at. And what he did there is he turned, and the back tire hooked up, and Jay, yes. So a lot of people have seen Jay. My comment as a competitive car guy, all right, here's the deal when you get into a race car. You must either, you can stop it, care. When you get into a race, one of two things. They put a net, you have a net that goes in your window. The net goes in your window. People think like, so rocks and stuff don't fly. I know, so when you roll the car, your arm doesn't go flying out of the window, and the car rolls over your arm. Both their windows are fully open. Jay Leno could have lost. His arm could have been whipped off. You see his hands flying because the centrifugal force is so great. Yeah. I've been up for 28 hours. That will pull your arms out. So there's two things, just so you know. You put a net in the window, but then you say to yourself, Ace Man, what about when you drive your 2000 Dotson Roadster and it's an open top? There is no window to put, there's nothing to put a net up in. They have arm restraints. They go up your arm and they go to your upper, right above your elbow, and they have a bracket and you lock it into your harness. And it'll let your arms move around enough to shift and whatever, but it won't let them go flying out. Like a medical patient. He should have had either arm restraints or put the thing in the window. He was hoping that could be the end. Bill, whatever his name was, like Bill Riggins or whatever. He was like, that's how he wanted to go out. That would have been the coolest way. He was 80. For Jay Leno. Do you know what I mean? Not like, if he would have died in a fiery, gigantic car explosion from doing a stunt, I think that would have been the best way out. Like Jay Leno just in a crazy stunt accident. I didn't show. I think that's the way we'd all like to see him go. No, I always laughed, and Jay never thought it was funny when I told it to him. But I said, it's going to be weird when some kid is writing a book report on you in 2050, and you died in 2038 in a steam car accident. Because the teacher's going to go, like, I'm sorry, you're way off. They were all electrical. They're all autonomous. Nobody drove a steam car in 2038. You've got to go check your reference material. But, yes, that's how he will be testing out one of these odd vehicles, and that would be it. Well, those cars, the thing that's weird if you've ever driven with Leno in any of those cars, the wheels are like 10-speed tires, you know, the turn-of-the-century stuff, literally like Stanley Steamers and Dobles and stuff like that. It's a turn-of-the-century, you know. and they had no front brakes, you know, and the rear brakes were cat gut or something like that. And you're sitting seven feet off the ground on this sofa up top with this steering wheel. It's like a tiller or something. It's not even a full wheel. It's a motorized carriage. You're just motoring down, you know, by the Burbank Airport with tons of crazy illegals driving their modified Hondas with no insurance. And you're like, we are going to die this way eventually. If you hit a pothole, I feel like that could knock out one of those old cars. It's not equipped for that. He's been pulling it off. I think he's probably going to have to rein in it. It was funny. He rolled the car, and the 80-year-old guy who was driving it was like, oh, my wife's going to kill me. And Leno's like, my wife's going to kill me. I'm a kajillionaire, and I'm out doing this. This guy has to do this. For a web series. And that's the thing. I feel like that's commitment right there to get in there. Oh, it is. And he loves it. But not a wrinkle on the denim shirt. No. Of course not. Never. Super denim. The denim shirt protected him. The shirt on top, denim on bottom. Filthy, preppy teens. Yeah. Fullscreen.com is where you go. It's available now exclusively over there. It's a parody of wealthy high school kids. Tell us more, Paul. Basically, it makes fun of all those shows like Gossip Girl, Pretty Little Liars, Arrow, The Flash. It's all these teen shows with superheroes and kids in high school that look like they're 28. But instead of having a teen wolf, we have a teen leprechaun, a kid who on his 16th birthday turns into a leprechaun. We have Scott Wolf from Party of Five plays with her dad. Haley! He's awesome. So if you love those shows, I think you'll like it. If you hate those shows, you'll like it because it's basically just making fun of how ridiculous it is. They're killing their parents. They have tons of money. In our show, we have a superhero called The Boom. He just throws a boomerang and hits people. And what's your part? I created the show with a couple other people, and I play the drama teacher as we put on a live version of The Leprechaun, the movie The Leprechaun. We adapted it for the school play. It was a very big deal. That was one of those 80s horror movies. Yes. It was good until the foot race began, And then the little person in the buckled shoes that were turned up in the front would never be able to track down the 18 who was scared to death No Well yeah He seemed scary His teeth were kind of gnarled and he looked vicious But then, like, all of a sudden, you get to Leprechaun 4. He's in space. Leprechaun 3. He's, like, wrapping in the hood. Yeah. No, that's the best one. Yeah, that is the best one when he's wrapping around. Yeah. How many of the Leprechaun films have you covered on your podcast? Only done Leprechaun 3, I believe. I'm sorry. I've got to tell you the tagline on the Leprechaun 4 in space posters. It says, one small step for man, one giant leap for terror. My question is, why do we always have to go to space in these movies? Like, Jason doesn't need to go to space. Isn't he effectively scary enough just in a small area? Like, to be on a spaceship, it seems redundant. Yeah, I agree. I think it's sort of like what they – I think everything follows the Emmanuel series, the Iraq series. and Emmanuel in space? It's not so. It's like, hey, it's good enough just to see this B slash C cup get a top off and, you know, climb into the pool with the other ladies. Like, that's enough. But eventually, we've got to start spreading it out. We want those breasts floating in space. We want dongs floating around. You know, it looks way better. Sex and zero G. Emmanuel in space. She ended up with her. Ironically, the space stuff, I bet, is a money saver because you have the limited sets. You have really one set, maybe two, as opposed to, you know, just shooting like a location. You're shooting it for like $10. I've got to think you're repurposing a lot of those things. Yes, something that already exists. The show, again, Filthy Preppy Teens, fullscreen.com. And is it just, it'll be there waiting for you? It's there waiting for you, or it's like an app you can download in the store. It's like Hulu or Netflix, so you can watch it on your computer, you can watch it on an app. All right. We haven't done the news in a million years. Shall we do a little news? Let's do it. Paul, you just hang out with Crackwise? Give me the news with Grab. News with Gina Grab. Show business, Congress, tech news, sports news, world news. Give me news with Gina Grab. We've missed out a spoiler. Sex surveys, Obama. Beat news with Gina, Gina Grab. The news with Gina Grab. Grab. First blinds galore, man. Fourth of July sale. Going to start this week. Save up to 50% on everything. The biggest sale of the year. I just put up my last set in my office. I have them here. We have them in the edit bays. We have them at home. Everywhere. Blinds galore. I love these guys. Over 2 million windows and counting. I won the Super Service Award from Angie's List. You've got to be good. Anyway, good guys. Great company. Do yourself a favor. And just, you know, I'm one of these guys that tells you, that don't mortgage your house to buy sushi. You'll be passing it this time tomorrow. That's a real, yeah, bad idea. But get some blinds. They don't wear out. They'll just be up there, and you'll use them every single day. Check out Blinds Galore. They've got a massive Fourth of July sale. Starts on the 1st. It's patriotic duty. Go to BlindsGalore.com. Let them know I sent you. BlindsGalore.com. All right, Gina, stop. Well, a very confusing situation Thursday morning, and it did get solved happily. Andrews Air Base, the military facility that's home to Air Force One, was placed on lockdown briefly Thursday after a planned active shooter training exercise was apparently mistaken for real. They thought it was an armed threat. I thought it was more horrible than that. I had to clean the carpet at Andrews Air Force Base, which should be about 85 miles out of wherever we are right now or 100 miles out of what's got to be 100. Oh, there's Andrews out here, and then there's another one. This one's in Maryland? Andrews Air Base, yeah. Oh, ours is Andrews Air Force? Now we've got to figure that out, Gary. Either way. You need to clean the carpet. Cleaning carpet is the world's worst job, but cleaning an airport is terrifying. It's terrifying. You just open the doors and go, oh, my God. I'm going to take this nine-inch wand and pass it over every square inch of this place. I can't think of a more disgusting place when you really get down to it, because what people are doing on that floor, what has touched that floor, you look at people and when they sleep with their head on that floor, this is more unsafe than not using a condom and sex. I agree. You're getting on that floor like that. I agree. You get ear AIDS from that floor. Yes. So this is the one in Maryland. I thought you were going to say it was shut down because a leprechaun got on a plane. That would be something. Yeah, go ahead, Gary. It's basically the same thing. I think you're mistaking it with Edwards Air Force. Oh, Edwards is out here. It's 90 miles away. Yes, 90.4 miles. 90.4. Okay, so ours is Edwards and there's Andrew. That sounds pretty terrible. Emergency personnel at the base located in Maryland about 20 miles outside D.C. responded to calls at 9.30 a.m. of an active shooter. That's what an Air Force spokeswoman said. The call came in about a half hour after the scheduled start of the active shooter drill. A federal law enforcement official. So they nailed that part of the drill. Yeah, yeah. Very real. was not authorized to discuss the incident on record, but they said the incident appeared to be related to the security drill. There is no active shooter. So that took over the news in the morning. Well, the terrorists have won because, you know, when this thing went to go down in Turkey, we were in the middle of traveling through Europe, and we're at the first thing the next morning, just standing in an airport. Where were we, in Ireland at that point? Dublin, yeah. And I was just looking around going, I wonder if there's a guy with a gun. And then I went, oh, you've won, terrorist. I'm now standing in this airport watching Dawson smoke on the curb, and my head is on a swivel, whereas normally I'd be looking for the kiosk to check in. Now I'm actually looking around for a gunman. Me and three of my very sane, normal friends left a movie the other day with about 15 minutes left because somebody did it all super uncomfortable. He just screamed really loud and then exited the theater and then came back and was acting very weird. Oh, hell no. And we all just decided, nope. What movie? Now You See Me 2. Oh, my. That's a beautiful. Most people reacted that same way. You know what? That actually made me think, because when we were coming back from Cabo, it's loud. It's a packed, small little airport. Kids running around, teenagers. And I was just wondering, if somebody yelled, Mom, really loud across the airport, would everybody duck? Because we're that scared. It sounds like bomb. I thought there were some NBA guys there or something. I thought it was illegitimate kids. I didn't know what the bomb was. Yeah, well, the good news is the terrorists don't yell bomb. They just blow up. It's like a game of tag. If somebody pointed at something else they were seeing. I think everyone is just completely, everyone's freaked out everywhere. And I've always said, just start going after the soft targets and freak everyone out. There's not much you can do about it. Yeah. Well, not to keep it too much in the bum-out mode, but the Summer Olympics in Brazil is now just a little more than a month away, but problems continue to plague the host city of Rio. The latest issue arose Wednesday when human body parts washed up on a beach, yep, where the volleyball competition is going to take place. Police said the gruesome discovery of a foot and other body parts was made by a street vendor, but haven't given any other details. It's just the latest setback on a long list of problems facing the upcoming games. Financial turmoil is threatening the safety and services of visitors and concern about the Zika virus is forcing athletes to drop out. Localized street crime is also on the rise. And, by the way, it begins August 5th. All right, here's my theory. So there are two looks at the future. When I was in junior high, I think it's because 2000 was always looming. In 1987, it was like 2000 is coming. And I've always said that wasn't 13 years from 1987. That was 113 years. So we were going to have these huge changes that were coming. It was like Buck Rogers took place in, like, 1998. It was like, yeah, wow, that's a far away. I'm telling you, Time Cop, they shot it in 94, and it took place in 98. And it was weird that they thought we were going to be able to beat futuristic cars jumping from time to time. Anyway, so here we – so it was always this. It was either this utopian sort of future. It always goes wrong, but all the hover cars and everyone's wearing these Mylar silver jumpsuits and everyone's super polite and thin and looks good. Or there's the apocalyptic sort of escape from New York, escape from L.A. Even the game runner kind of plays with the world that we're heading towards. But now, my theory, so the two, they have kind of two angles. One is sort of science and utopia. The other is bad government gets old, scans chips on you. Emotion is outlawed. Yeah, that kind of stuff. Now I'm just starting to think that we are just like a car that just keeps getting older, and it's like, well, the water pump went out because it's got 150,000 miles on it, the head gas, and we're going to have to do the timing belt. Like, maybe our civilization, I don't feel like it's getting, I don't feel like we're moving forward in the progress department. We're getting worse. Have we plateaued? I think we peaked out in, like, 86, 87. When was Leprechaun 5? When did Leprechaun go to this? Leprechaun 4 is really where it all went down. And since then, I just feel like we're just sort of coming undone. But don't you think, I think we're just going inside. Like, we used to go out. So now I think in, like, 20 years, you won't be leaving your house. Everything's going to be delivered to yourself. You're going to be in virtual reality rooms, and then you won't have any reason to go anywhere or do anything. You'll be psyched. You will buy a drone on Amazon, and a drone will deliver your drone. Yeah, that's the way to go. We're going to turn in those little wooden Russian dolls. We're going to be like that car on bricks in front of a trailer park. Kids will play in it. It still exists. You're not throwing it away. It just kind of becomes a different thing, an immobile thing, an eyesore. Maybe Jay should test drive the one that's up on Cinder Block. Get back out in the room. A little bit safer for him. By the way, do you know when you get off the airport now, people have signs at Rio, and they're like, go home, there's no hospitals here, we don't have police. They're in the airport basically saying that, and on the roadways, they spray paint, no hospitals, go home. Wow. This is making Sochi look like it was a glorious place to be. I was saying this. When did Rio have become bad? I don't know. It was always, first, Blame It on Rio was one of the greatest movies of my youth slash early adulthood. That was a great, great film. And I always grew up wanting to go to Rio. It was going to be awesome. When my baby loves me, I go to Rio. Yeah, come on. There's no reason for it to be like human body parts washing up on the beach. I'm starting to have this. I've always had this theory, but I'm spreading it out a little. I don't think there's anything too close to the equator that's not getting the brains broiled. Like, it's too hot, and the brain is cooking. There's no car. There's nobody. See, everything for me is cars. Yeah. So I sort of judge, like, Germans, insanely precise people, and they build Mercedes-Benz and Porsches and Audis. You know, it's a reflection on sort of who they are. We're like Americans. We're, like, big, and we build the big muscle cars, but the fit and finish isn't quite where it's at, but it makes a lot of noise and looks cool. Like, our culture is exactly what our cars are. And their culture, there's nothing that takes place along the equator. There's no car that's within 1,000 miles one direction or the other that gets manufactured around the equator. And then I think it's too warm. I think people's brain is starting to stew. It's briny. I would like to see if we could just look by the distance to the equator where our geniuses are, our Nobel Peace Prizes, our inventors, and just see if it is based on cold weather. I bet you there is some truth to that. People are just out on the beach. They have something to do with it. Spend more time inside with a book. It's cold. Yeah. OJ went crazy when he went to Florida. I mean, he started here and then he went downhill. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Went nuts. I don't know. Try to figure out if there's anything along, anything outside of this country especially, that's close to the equator that's thriving or has a big gut. Innovations. Tech industry or innovators or we'll figure it out. Anyway. Well, speaking of beaches, officials at the Miss Teen USA pageant have announced that starting with next month's contest, the young ladies competing for the crown will no longer be parading in swimwear. Yeah. The folks behind the competition have always said they never wanted to exploit the girls in the mix, only show off their, quote, athletic bodies. So now the 15 to 19-year-olds will walk the runway in actual athletic gear, which pleases the reigning Miss Teen USA. She tells USA Today, quote, This new direction for Miss Teen USA is a great way to celebrate the active lives that so many young women lead and set a strong example for our peers. Finally. Hold on a second. How about the part where Mario Lopez asks him a question about what we should do in the Middle East, and they just go, oh, I love it. Such as the Africa? The Jew people. I mean, the folks as Arabs really. You literally said because they can't afford map. They can't afford... Something to that effect. Mapa? Meta? To me, it's like... Yeah, to me. I just feel like if we would spend more time... Are we out of time yet, Mario? No, I have all time. The clock never moves slower than when they have to answer a question about anything in geography or political stuff. I would say put them in the bikinis and stop asking the questions. The questions is what really sort of shoots holes in the whole thing. What if you made them strip down into a bikini if they got the questions wrong? Then they get to keep their clothes on and retain their dignity. And if you don't, you have to show off other assets. You don't have it up top. You have to keep it somewhere else. Also, it's got to be a bummer for the guy who was working as a judge for the last 23 years but just coincidentally can't make it this year. And he has to be like, oh, I'm out. Oh, I get it, Bert. I get it. No, it's a total commitment. I'm making a speech. Yeah, you know I was going to be out of the country for that weekend. I hear you, Bert. My brother-in-law's gotten remarried. He put the sweatpants on and you get the exit door. He asked you to be in the wedding. All I'm saying is if Donald Trump took over that pageant, he would not allow that to happen. No, not on Trump's watch. Singapore evidently is the closest thing to successful and near the equator. That's what we got. Thanks, Gary. Well, here's something a little happier. A woman who recently visited the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C., has taken over the Internet all week with her impromptu rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner. I don't know if you've seen this. There's one good thing about traveling for a week and a half. You don't see anything because everyone's TV sucks, except for ours. We have good TV. You travel around. They go, BBC One, BBC Two, BBC Three, all shows about people talking about gardening. And the guys doing the sign language is taking up half the screen. Wait, they have that. That's Bob's big boy guy still in the hands. They still have a hand gesture guy on those shows? He's using, Chris, he's using one third of the actual space on your TV. Yeah, the actual show is just like, yeah, just a little box. And they're just talking about gardening, like off to the side. In France, all we watched was BET France and like old reruns of Cribs. That is amazing. It was so awesome to see, you know, to get caught up with Soulja Boy. The only station we had that was in English in France was BET. So that's all we watched. And was it current BET or is it just old BET? It was all BET. It was all old BET and all they did was run marathons of cribs, which I can't get enough of. No, wait a second. It's not just a guy in a little box. Yeah, this is a major full-fledged. full-sized interpreter standing in front of a film strip. My thing is, like, what percentage of people are watching the show or are hearing impaired, and then also just put subtitles. They have the TV. We can switch ours on. It really does look like they shot a movie theater screen and then someone stood in front of the movie theater screen, and that's what you're watching. Well, TV, in terms of internationally, is still a disaster. And listen, you know, I would say this about, you know, Look, I'll cut Amsterdam some slack and some of these other places, Rio or some of these places that are close to the equator. But UK, you've got no excuses. You know, I used to watch Benny Hill out of the UK when I was in junior high and laugh my ass off. You guys have no excuse other than just lethargy to not pump up, especially when you go to a hotel. And it's going to be nothing but people who aren't from here. Throw us CNN in our sport. Just ESPN. In two years, when Brexit finally comes in, how much worse will it get? That's the other thing. There'll be less. It can't get worse than it is now. When we were in Dublin and this Turkish airport thing took place, and I was like, oh, I've got to get some news on this. Nothing. There were news channels, but they weren't covering that. They were covering a weird little parliament. They're always into this parliament thing, wherever you are, and there's nothing worse as a foreigner to watch. Just like you're watching a car in Seat Band. Yes. Yeah. All right. Sorry. Where were we? Well, this woman's name is Star Swain. She was one of many tourists visiting the memorial when her travel companion kept coaxing her to sing the national anthem. She was a little hesitant at first, but after some persistent badgering, she finally gave in. She belted it out. It's amazing. It's chilling. It's beautiful. Her friend captured the performance on video. It quickly went viral, still being shared all over the place. Here's just a clip of the very end, even though the whole thing is worth watching. The whole crowd gathered. They gave out her phone number. One of the guys holding the phone was like, I'm the manager. I'm the manager. Call me. And hopefully she'll get a little workout. That's a shot of Von Miller with a single teardrop coming down his cheek. If Chewbacca mom can be going to Star Trek, Star Wars conventions now and signing autographs for 20 bucks a pop, she'll be on a TV show very soon. She better be. Yeah, Simon Cowell's got to get on. I mean, Chewbacca Mom really did, I found it to be amazing, but really did nothing more than just put a mask on her face. And giggle. And giggle. Well, I think so much of that has to just be about timing and news cycles. Right? You can't do that when the airport is shot up. Right. It can't be ten minutes after that. It's got to be slowed down, also maybe tired of hearing whatever Trump or Hillary story's been out there, and Chewbacca Mom pulls us out. Yeah, that really helps us. That's our biggest national export right now, good viral videos. Yeah, Lee and the Y. Well, do you want to beat a parking ticket in court? Because there's an app for that. The Do Not Pay Robot Lawyer, which 19-year-old British student Joshua Browder introduced last year, works by guiding users through a chat. That's also a great Phil Hartman bit. Robot lawyer. I'm just a robot. I understand your flying tubes. So it's a chat interface asking simple questions about the citation from the accuracy of signs to how legible the ticket is. The team created the chat bot by scanning thousands of documents released under the Freedom of Information Act and working with a traffic lawyer. So, yeah, the site launching Do Not Pay has helped people beat 160,000 tickets, saving people about $4 million in fines total. And the best part, you don't have to pay to use it. I've got to say, I feel mixed about apps like this because part of me feels like, yes, I want this app. But then another part feels bad for me for that cop who's like, oh, I didn't make my quota because some jerk used this app. Do you really feel bad? A little bit, but not much. I just got back from Amsterdam, and all people did was ride bikes and mopeds and scooters and sort of park. You know, here's how you know our country's pile of crap. When you go to other countries, you see people and you go, oh, look at that one guy. He's facing the wrong way. He's parked the wrong way. The other guy's all going this way. That guy's going that way. He's going to get it. He's going to get it. That's like, no, he doesn't get it because he's not really criminal and he pays taxes and he found an open parking space and he didn't do the stupid move that we do, which is circle around and block traffic and do a five-point move, whatever. He just slid in. And then on the other side of the street, there's people going the other way and everyone's just buzzing around on their mopeds, their bicycles, and their little miniature smart cars. We didn't see any form of parking enforcement. We didn't see the sign. See, we are so stupid. We just drove in from LAX. We hopped in the car at 3.30 in the afternoon. So, okay, it's going to be a cluster heading out here. At one point, we're looking at a sign, and it says, no right turn. It's got the big no right with the big arrow, I mean, big stripe through it. No right turn. Boom. And then in miniature letter underneath it says between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. But it's 3.45, and these idiots are just looking up at the thing that says no right. See, we're overwhelmed. You go through Amsterdam, you don't see a bunch of signs. Nothing's painted red. Nothing's painted red. There's no, Chris, was there no parking enforcement at all that you could see at any point? No, it moved so smoothly, too. The whole town was just like a well-oiled machine. Well, isn't it? Well, because they let people just kind of go. It's like the flow of life. Like, hey, you don't get run over by a chick on a bicycle because let her go, and then you go, and then that's it. It works. It all works perfectly. The way that I think I've got it so summed up for me well is in Europe, exit signs are green. Here, they're red. So if you don't speak English and you see exit, you're seeing red, so that seems like don't go there. That's bad. But green would be like go. That's where we should be headed towards. We're stupid, and everyone get these apps, and let's just claim our streets back. Because here, it's so predatory, and it's so insane, and I can't stand it. And just don't pay your parking ticket. Just screw it. We just drove here. Nick was driving. I told him to drive through Reds, drive through everything. You never have to pay the camera links, right? That's the whole thing. You never have to pay those. No, they're getting greedy, and we've got to fight back. This is what it is. Free apps. Yeah. No one. What's it called again? It is called Do Not Pay. The idea of a parking meter should never have existed. Anyway, Simply Safe. Thinking about home security, no better time than now. Burglaries go up during the summertime. That's how they work, man. Simply Safe, two I's in there. They put together a special package. I picked out a whole bunch of stuff. That's all you need. And you get it right now. You get $100 off the complete protection package. I handpicked myself. No long-term lock-in contracts. No big-time commitments. Right now. Right now. Get $100 off my handpicked security package. These guys are smart. Well, it's actually just one guy. I think he went to Harvard. His friends got ripped off. He was trying to get a security system for them. He didn't like. The real ripoff is in the monitoring and the monthly fee. That's where you save. Anyway, Simply Safe. Two I's in there. Simply Safe, Adam. That's simply safe, Adam. Dot com. All right. Let's do one more. All right. Gay Pride Month may be drawing to a close, but some cities keep the welcome mat out all year long for the LGBT community. And the advocate has compiled a list of what it calls America's most gay-friendly towns. While the list does look at serious elements like anti-discrimination laws, it also keeps tabs on the bar scene and the likelihood of seeing Madonna or Ariana Grande in concert. I found it, yep. Like that breaks up spontaneously. If you were in Cleveland nine times a year, Ariana Grande would pop up on that house to do a full concert. So America's most gay-friendly cities. I have the ten on here. One of them, which is a local spot, kind of surprised me. So I'll just run through the ten real quick. Boulder, Colorado. That's number one? That's number ten. And it's from New Jersey. Boulder's pretty, super crunchy. over there. Crazy crunchy. So that kind of makes sense. Edison, New Jersey. Edison, New Jersey. No idea. Salt Lake City. By the way, Edison, New Jersey, I would feel like I feel like, not to rag on New Jersey, but gay people have better taste than Edison, New Jersey. I feel like they should move to the city or move to Long Island. Yeah, agreed. Let's get out of New Jersey. I'm not going to call an ironically named ferry and go over to Manhattan. Yeah, so Salt Lake City, Utah made the list. Wow. Yeah. That's surprising. Yeah. Mormons and everything. Look at that. Yeah. Well, I think that's probably because of the Mormons, right? Like, they try to force it, and it comes, you know, it's all footloose. Right, right, right. San Francisco, of course. D.C. New Haven, Connecticut. St. Louis, Missouri. Cambridge, Massachusetts. Number two, Inglewood, California. Wow. Look, Inglewood. City of Cajun. Hold on. That is just everyone in Englewood is so drunk that they don't care what goes on in their city. It's not that they're not gay friendly. They're just passed out somewhere and they don't care. This is like saying, my stepdad's really cool. No, your stepdad's an alcoholic and he's on the sofa. No, he's mentioned. I've been eating games all night. He's playing a party with him. Like, yeah, it's not really cool. This is different than that. Yeah, it must be. Gary, you have a theory? How much are they weighing this Ariana Grande thing? Because that's where the forum is. Oh, I like where I had that. That makes sense. A lot of concerts like people who can't sell at Staples Center. Wow. That's bizarre that Ariana Grande is part of the equation. It's a factor. Because you would think, like, San Francisco would be on this list. Yeah. Manhattan would be on this list. It would make the list. Yeah. There's a lot of places in my mind that Miami is not on this list. Sure. Nope. Chicago? No. Yeah. And the number one most gay-friendly city, Hartford, Connecticut. No, this list is bullshitting. That, like, Hartford, Connecticut, is like a gay, their number one in insurance. Pick it up with WTAE.com. They filmed a Bob Newhart show there, right? For God's sake. They had a B&B over there. It is an odd list. That's a bizarre list. All right. It may have to all be where concert venues are, because there's a big concert venue in Hartford, right? That was a good point. Yeah. If it's all that. Well, all right. Inglewood, California, first off. Mind-blowing. There's no gay person in their right mind would take a dirigible over Englewood. It's that bad a neighborhood. And I've been, I drove through Englewood an hour and a half ago on the way back from the airport. I've never seen a gay bar in Englewood. It stands in stark contrast to places around here that are super gay. Yeah, like four miles away is like West Hollywood, which is a gay, like a mecca. I think what they're doing here is they're trying to get off the on-the-nose sort of stuff. We've got West Hollywood, the gay flags on the sheriff's cars there. So it doesn't get much more gay-friendly than having the gay flag on the side of the patrol cars. Englewood is not that. Gary, do you still have a theory, or are you done with your more of a theory? I just looked up. Sorry. But Inglewood is such a dive. What if this is an elaborate prank by, like, homophobes who are like, yeah, yeah, move to Hartford, move to Inglewood. Is that an elaborate? No, I got a better theory, although it dovetails nicely with yours, which is anywhere, like, where we live, Silver Lake used to be gang-infested property values where, I tell you, my sister, I know because I put the down payment down because they never paid me back. But I'm not hanging on to that, and I barely remember. But that was in 1998, my sister bought a house for like $125,000. It was a crappy house, but it was up on the hill. I had a little view and everything. That's $1.6 million an hour, whatever it is. So that was Silver Lake. What happened to Silver Lake? They kicked out the gangbangers, and they brought the gays in, and they turned the place. The property value went through. Maybe Inglewood. If you think about it, Inglewood is not too far from Hancock Park and other areas that are decent. It's on the west side. It's striking distance to LAX. All they're missing is gay folk. If they could get some gay folk into that thing, the curb appeal would start going up. The property values would start going up. It's kind of like the way that New York, everyone's living in Queens and Hoboken and stuff like that. You've got to build out. This is smart. I like it. They're trying to entice the gays to get to Englewood. All right. Did we bring it home? We can bring it home. Let's bring it home. I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news. Gina, Gina. That was the news with Gina Grad. Ah, casserole edge. Yeah, full synthetic. Love that stuff. Three times stronger than Mobile One against viscosity breakdown for the industry. It's the sheer stability test. That's right. And the 5W30. Great. So they did something really cool. They did two films. Casual Edge took two professional race car drivers, and they put them in an Aston Martin Vulcan and a Koenigsegg, which is like the craziest, I don't know. Each car is probably $3 million. But either way, they drove them, and then they had them drive on a virtual simulator. And Jay Leno flipped them. And then Jay Leno flipped him in their glass. And then they compared their two times on the same track, driving the actual car and then driving the simulator. Anyway, you can go to Castrol USA and go to their YouTube channel and check this piece of art out. It is cool. Anyway, titanium strong for maximum engine performance. Make sure your next oil change is with Castrol Edge, baby. We got a challenge question up here. Yes, from Lucas Friedenberg. He says, does the oil on a new car really need to be changed at 1,000 miles? No, that's a break-in thing, like from your dad's era of cars, where they go, that's break-in oil. It used to be a content car for a certain mile per hour or something like that. RPMs is what they were worried about. Yeah, breaking it in. Because engines, the technology was, you know, and I don't know if it was computer everything. So the deal was is your rings and your pistons and your bearings and your moving parts, when everything was getting broken in, little pieces of metal shavings and stuff sort of. Actually, James Dean died in that 550 Ferrari, sorry, Porsche Spyder, because back in the day you had to break your car in. And he bought that thing at a Porsche dealer, I don't know, like Beverly Hills or the west side in Los Angeles or whatever. And he was going to race it like the next day or two, but it wasn't broken in. So how do you get a couple hundred miles on it or whatever? So he said, I'll drive it to Buttonwillow, which is out by Edwards Air Force Base. I'll drive it out there, and I'll break it in that way. So that's what he died in basically a race car that he was going to a race. You're like, why was he in a race car on the street? Well, back then, it was like street cars and racetrackers were a little blurry, but he was breaking it in, driving it out to Buttonwillow in the desert, and was killed by that driver. So breaking it in was a thing. It's just not a thing anymore. It was a thing. It's not a thing anymore. And when you do the oil change, go with the casserole edge. That's what I'm saying. Wait, but then when you do it, go with the casserole edge. All right. Live shows coming up Las Vegas, July 8th, Treasure Island. UFC heavyweight Frank Mir is going to be over there. Good guy. Interesting guy. And like I said, he made Brock Lesnar tap out. He made Brock Lesnar go no more. He like took Brock Lesnar and then he went, I'm going to throw you down on the ground and I'm going to force you to smack your hand on the canvas until you quit. That's a tough do. So maybe don't roast him on the stage. Not so much. Or do huge ratings. Live shows everywhere. Or just go to AdamCrolla.com and check out where we're going to be. Yes, Gina. And isn't there, like, a new hat? Oh, thank you. Yeah. The new hat, everyone. It's our limited edition. Don't do your best. Do my best. We're bringing it back for a short period of time because people love. Actually, we had it on a shirt. Now we're having it on a hat. That, to me, is the best slogan of all time. You know, if I can say this, and I don't like to talk about myself. Just this one. Okay, Paul. It's good because it's good, but it was totally organic. I was just standing out in the parking lot. My assistant, Matt Fondelier, screwed the pooch totally on some thing, and he came running out. He's like, sorry, boss, but I screwed up, and I said, all right, well, we've got to fix this. And he stopped, and he went, I did my best. And I said, don't do your best. Do my best. And I sent him back into the office, and it was organic. It's great, and it goes back to what we were talking about in the commercial break, which was the idea that, you know, use my thing, do whatever you want in my space, but just put it back to the way that I had it. Just make it look like you weren't there. I like that idea. I would go into people as a, I was literally a starving carpenter for at least a decade. And the sole second half of my career was going into rich people's houses and doing finish work for them. And, of course, I'm starving. And stuff like when you're that starving bachelor guy, big thing like cashew nuts and things like that, that's a big ticket item. This is a little before the whole Trader Joe's thing where everything was there. You know, you'd have to go to the market and you'd look at the cashew thing and it'd be like $9. Like, that's a big ticket item. Lots of certain kinds of fruit, you know, peaches and pears and things like that. These are all things I never had at home. And I'd go into a guy's house. You know, Ron, the restaurateur, ran a restaurant over on the west side, him and his partner John. And they'd split, and they'd, like, leave me the keys. And I'd be doing the finish work in their house. But, of course, I'd go into their kitchen immediately, and I'd take a hit of the cashews. But I would turn the container. I would first make note of how it was oriented. Take a mental picture. That burglar. Yeah, cell phones, there's no reason to not put it back. If you're going to mess them enough, take a picture, look at it, go back and forth, and make sure you get it right. I was like, so I would like, so I'd take, you know, open the pantry, see how it was positioned, take it down. Take enough to satisfy me, but don't get greedy so the guy reaches for the can and just goes flying up in the air. I'd have at my house I think I had like back 10 years ago or something I had like nut of the month club or something get the big sack of mixed whatever macadamians or whatever and I'd come home from doing the morning show and in my kitchen on the island they'd just be sitting there just wide open like you'll put an M80 in and I'd always say to Ozzy or whoever's working in my house, I'd go look, eat the nuts just fold them over and put them back so I don't go right to them And then it's like the next day you go back and you just be sitting there like wide open getting rancid and dusty. What is that? It makes me mental. It just takes no time at all to just fold over the bag, put it back in the thing. My wife and I have the biggest argument about the dishwasher. And this is kind of adjacent to this, which is she'll just put any dish in there as dirty as it could be. And I just like, well, just rinse it. You don't have to like wash it. Just put some water on it, and then you can put it in. She's like, no, I'm not going to do the dishwasher's job. Like, that's the dishwasher's job. Adam, I think you might be siding with the wife on it. Oh, really? No, no. Here's what I say. First off, my wife literally sterilizes the casual dish and then puts it in the dishwasher. And I'm like, you're standing over the sink. You have the soapy sponge out. You're running the hot water on it. You're home. You're here. You're here. What you're going to do is bend over and do it and then have to unload it and reload it. I'm like, you're right here. Another 10%. One more lap around this casserole dish, and we're good. And her thing is just like, I don't like it. It's yucky. It's hard to argue with yucky. Right. But her thing is like, it smells weird. And you're like, it doesn't. It's fine. But you can't. Whatever's on your pillow right now is much worse than this. Whatever's on your cell phone or your keyboard or your computer. Statistically, it's covered with stars compared to what this is. But it's hard to argue with this visceral, like it's weird. It smells weird. I don't like it. Yes. It says, you know what? It's like people don't eat ground beef. And you want to just yell at them, it's beef. It's meat. I don't like it ground beef. You like steak. I like steak. You like kamaz. Well, this is that. There's something about it. Yeah, it's like it's just being presented differently. It's like saying I eat eggs, but I don't eat omelets. What do you mean? Oh, yeah. I've met people in my life that eat cheese but don't like melted cheese. And I just want to backhand them. But as far as your wife goes, I get into this too, which is, I have to say this a lot. It doesn't help, but you can try. I say a lot when we're going on five laps over nothing. I go, this isn't my way of doing it. It's the way to do it. It's just the thing. This is what the manufacturer suggests. Maybe it'll be easier to imbibe if you don't think it's coming from me. I'm passing along information that I'm gleaned from watching commercials. We got into such a, like, it was a constant fight with a dishwasher that she's like, well, I think the dishwasher doesn't work. We need to get a new dishwasher. I was like, all right, I am going to spend, I'm going to look. I looked on consumers. I got my thing. I got the best dishwasher. I was like, now let's see. And then she put it in the same way, and it didn't work. It doesn't, it's not, like, there's not, like, little birds in there like the Flintstones that are scrubbing blades. It's going to get some of it, but you're going to still have, like, a big chunk of cheese in the end if you leave it in there. And now I think she's not conceded it fully. She's like, ah. Allowed for the possibility. Yeah. Now she's a little bit more open to it. But it took me buying a new dishwasher. To prove your point? To prove my point, which I gladly did because I knew I was right. Yeah, I think, again, but it's a fine line because once you've spent enough time at the sink, maybe it's time just to put it in the dryer. I'm also, I don't even like them building up. I just do them as I go. Yeah, just put them down. And then I'll just grab it off the rack and use it for the next microwave shot. Yeah, I don't use it as a dumping ground. I don't use it as, like, I'm going to fill this up all during the day. Then it becomes insurmountable. You don't want to sit there in front of the sink. All right. Where were we? I'm with Paul on this one, wherever Paul is. The hats. The hats. Oh, the hats. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, don't do your best. Do my best. On a hat. Very nicely embroidered, by the way. Spread that message. Spread that message. All right. Endless rant IPA out there. All the good stuff. You can find Paul Scheer, everyone. Thanks so much for having me. Help Paul pay for that new dishwasher. Build the preppy teens. Fullscreen.com is where you go. Vinnie Kortorich is, let's see, Fitness Confidential. Yeah, I didn't have it in front of me. Check that out as well. Until next time, it's down for Paul and Vinnie and Gina and Paul saying mahalo. I wonder if today's the day I really take the plunge into child pornography. All right, that's Adam Krola Show 1851. From up next, we have Adam Krola Show 1854. This one's featuring Danny Trejo, Craig Moss, Gina Grant, and Brian Bishop, also from 2016. Good day, Gina Grant. Good day to you. And, Brian? I may die early, but I will die busy. Chris Tyson. So I never really finished telling a couple stories, one Airbnb and two lobsters. Lobsters are definitely one of those things that falls under the heading of it's such a cool, semi-expensive and nice gesture for someone to do for you. But you've got to realize I grew up in North Hollywood. I here's as close as I got to Lobster's from zero to 28. Once in a while, when we drove over the hill, when the old VW Squareback wouldn't get vapor lock and we made it over the hill, usually for something free, we would pass a restaurant on the corner of Santa Monica and I think it was La Cienega that was called the Lobster Barrel. Okay. And it was the Skipper. Predates my time now. Sounds good. The Skipper from Gilligan's Island, Hale. I think Alan Hale, owner of the Lobster Barrel. Okay. And that was the closest I ever got to physically seeing a lobster from zero to 28. Just a lobster on a sign, basically. And I remember, again, my family was so bad, but they were smart. They made everything so fantastical that everyone would stop asking. You know what I mean? It's like my dad taking a $2 Bic lighter and flicking it and going, look at this. It produces fire. It costs millions. And with this, you'll rule the kingdom. And nobody after that went, oh, why don't you go give me one of those? because everything was out of... When we would pass Alan Hale's lobster barrel, I never went in and went... I never said to whoever was driving a piece of crap that was bought off of the recycler for $400, hey, why don't we swing in and have lunch? That would have been an insane comment. That would have been insane. You would have never brought it up because we were sufficiently broken by our downtrodden families. Now, we could have said, hey, maybe they threw away some whole claws in the dumpster or something. We could fish through there, or maybe we could swing by the Lucky Supermarket, and maybe Swanson's has an Alan Hale's own offering for some imitation crab or something, but certainly never swing in there. So later on, when I started going to restaurants and things, I would just stare at the lobster tank, just sort of mesmerized, but never really. That's not for me either because that's the most expensive thing on the menu. That's market price. It's decoration. Yeah, it says market price. It's never a good thing. That's right up there when they're doing the car, they're selling the car, and then the price, inquire. Oh, no. Never a good sign, especially when there's a car for $385,000 above it. If I've got to inquire about this one, look out, world. The old thing, if you have to ask, you get it for me. Never got it. And then, well, lo and behold, Rob and his uncle Rob sent over some lobsters for us to make. And it was just me and the kids. And I have a gene which is I don't mind doing things that are dangerous. And I don't mind taking chances. And I don't I'm not a big fan of gore or or blood or compound fractures or things like I try to avoid videos where the kickboxer gets the compound fracture or whatever. I just and I also sort of not so quietly worry about those people that are into you see the faces of death video. It's awesome. A mom gets cleaned out by a commuter train. And it's like, you really want to see that? First off, I can imagine what it looks like to have a young lady run across a Eurorail and get cleaned out by a bullet train. I really can. I'd rather not know. I don't need to see it. I really don't. But for some people, that's just, hey, that's the way we like to pass the time. And I don't trust that. It's a little schadenfreude, and I wonder. A little? It's the ultimate schadenfreude. Well, I wonder what percent of successful movers and shakers are averse to these videos like I am. Like they just go, it's a waste of time. It's someone else's misfortune. It doesn't put me in a better place. And by the way, I feel bad for the family. Like, no, I don't want this. I have other things to work on. Like, I think there's something dovetails in there nicely, but either way. I think things are going well for you. It's sort of like, why do I seek pleasure or why do I get some sort of satiation from watching the misfortune of others? And I feel like Elon Musk doesn't have that gene. That's his, he gets his rocks off by putting someone on Mars. Yeah. But either way. I have the same thing with shellfish. I knew it. Anyone wants to throw a soft-shell crab at a commuter train, I am not watching. I can imagine what that looks like. I just, I've always, as a kid, I've always, it's funny because Drew always says I have no empathy. I have so much empathy that I can't fish because I can't, you know, they do that thing where they go, you take the minnow and you put the hook through its eyeball, and then it runs around, and it's like, I don't like that. Now, I intellectually get it. I eat hamburgers. I get it. I just don't want to be that. I just don't want to physically be there. So I'm like, and I think the only one further away from this is my wife. Because not only does she not have the lobster gene, and not only does she not have the, you know, killing something gene, but also this is something. You know what I mean? This is a deal. This is a deal, and her thing is, I want to relax. So this is a deal, and it's killing a shellfish, and it's something. This is kind of a time-sensitive situation, right? Yes, and we have no recipes or anything, and Lynette literally says, I'm taking them to the butcher. I don't think you could take that to the butcher. And if you do, I think it's defeating the purpose of what we're doing here with this thing. And I don't know anything. This part about, you know, bust the tail off and suck the thing up. You got scissors or you smash the thing. I don't have. A tamale. We don't have nutcrackers. I hire a guy who cracks my nuts. Charles comes in on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other Saturday and gets me all the pecans I need. What are the chances that his name's Charles or whatever, and just calls him Charles? His name's probably Steve. By the way, can you guys help me figure out life for just one quick second? I'll get back to the lobsters. Or my life. Or tell me if everyone's life is like you just took mushrooms and crawled into some spider hole that took you to a new dimension. A week ago, the pool guys, I'm now proud to say I have pool guys because I finished the pool. You made it. By July 4th, swimming in the pool. Funny. Night swimming was sunny last night. And he said, I said, boy, you don't even know what you got here. I made it my whole life and then my whole adult life without a swimming pool. And he's like, hey, I had to stretch without a pool either. He made it his whole life, too. I should hold on now, Lord Fauntleroy. When you're born, you're born into a house that had a pool. And then we moved when you were seven into another house that had a pool. And then we moved into this house around Thanksgiving. And now we're floating in the pool. So I was like, you had a thin about eight months where you were pool-less. And he was like, more like ten. I was like, I'm going to drown you in this pool. I can see the grit installation is really going well. It's funny. He's really feeling it. Actually, now's the time to drown him because I could easily blame it on Phil, the dog. Yeah, absolutely. Dragged him down. Easily. Rampunk him. Easily. There's not a court in the land that would convict me. Even Lynette would be okay with it. She'd be like, I told her that dog's a brood, a dog's 90 pounds of claws and jowl and will take anyone down. And poor thing terrorizes Sonny in the pool. As soon as it gets in the pool, it's like, and it starts chugging towards Sonny. And Sonny like trying to get out of the way because here comes the super long claws and the jowls and the tongue He coming he like I can escape He getting into deeper water It'd be so funny to put a shark fin on Phil for the pool. We could do that. That'd be great. That'd be a good call. Who weighs more, Sonny or Phil? Phil. Phil outweighed Sonny last time we checked. Either way, I don't know what to do with these lobsters, but at like 8 o'clock at night, I open them up. I know I told you some of this stuff. I got a pot that will accommodate one lobster, which is bad because the other ones are coming out of their coma and moving around. Sonny wants nothing to do with this. What's happening to Roger? I don't want much to do with it either. I know you can pick them up by the back and drop them up, and the tail starts curling up, and the things start flailing around. I've never touched a lobster. It's where I'm from. It didn't exist. It was, I would see depictions of lobster on heart to heart. That was as close as I got in Alan Hale's. Gary, show us Alan Hale's lobster barrel, and you guys will have a weird, weird flashback. But either way, Natalia wants, she wants some. She wants to get in on it. She's a little hesitant. I'm not helping her by standing on a phone book and holding my skirt over my head. that did not help. But she kind of wants in. Sonny, he adjourns to another part of the house and sits down. And she wants in. And then the thing that's funny about Natalia starts reaching for it, and the thing flops its paw. Scorpion tail. It's claw. Over to her, and she's like, oh, you want some? It's on now. She's going back at the lobster. Underdome. And she's shoving it in the pot. And then when the thing gets out of the pot, unclear what to do with it at this point. You know, bust the tail off. I've got to get some scissors. We do not have a nutcracker. It's unclear where the meat ends and the lobster starts and the stuff and the weird black stuff inside and all the gooeyness and just insane. Did the noise freak her out? Did it make the noise when the shell releases? It did not make the noise. It did not make the noise. But to all my PETA friends out there, the tail does curl up, which indicates it's reacting to something. Either way, we ended up banging it out with a hammer and pulling all the stuff out and trying to do it. The kids ended up eating pasta for the most part anyway, and I was left with this huge pile of lobster. I don't particularly like lobster. Well, no, I enjoy surf and turf, but made by a professional and brought to my table. Drawn butter. Beautifully, yeah. The exact lobster tail. What I have in front of me looks like somebody put an M80 up a lobster's ass. Yeah. You have parceled out lobster. A pile of lobster. Yeah, and the drawn butter thing. It just didn't quite work, but I enjoyed it. It was sort of a fun story with the kids and all this stuff. Wait, that's one lobster. Well, we did times three. Sunny, again, was nowhere to be found. And Tali and I were left to go at the lobsters. I finally found some scissors. You know, it was one of these things where I had the tongs, the metal tongs, and I was trying to grab it by the back and drop it into the pot. Well, there's Alan Hale's lobster barrel, but this is a new location or a different location. The sign, Skipper, Alan Hale. I miss a time where you could simply play a skipper or a sheriff. As long as it went more than three seasons, you were actually certified and deputized. Like, that was you. I mean, my buddy. He wants to commandeer our boat. Why is it a skipper? My buddy, the guy who won Citizen of the Year in Santa Monica for thwarting a rape, had this medal bestowed upon him. And during the ceremony of Citizen of the Year for Santa Monica, circa 1992 or whatever it is, they had like Martin Mull from Adam 12. Like, it was a TV cop who gave him, but to everyone else, it was like, I'm an official cop. He's a cop. No, he's an actor who has nothing to do with law enforcement, but he's, he's doing, and Alan, I don't really think, you know, it's like Patrick Dempsey doesn't really get to be a doctor now. Whoever's doing whatever law show doesn't really get to be a lawyer. But back then, you kind of got to be that person. Sure. For your test results, here's Patrick Dempsey. And I don't mean to be a jerk, but you showed us the picture of the lobster roll. That place looks super depressing. That is not the right picture. The sign is the right picture. The actual place was a little bit different. I think it was on La Cienega and Santa Monica, right off of Santa Monica. I found the place. It's since been changed into a bunch of restaurants that I know, but I can't find an old picture of it. Oh, okay. Yeah. Unfortunately. Was it fancier? In your memory. It didn't have windows. So it was very high-end and mysterious to me. It most recently was like a high-end Mexican place, like $30 entrees. It was really good. But either way, again, a bridge way too far. And so that was the lobster experiment. The other thing I was going to get into, I might need to pour some Punisher for this, Airbnb. Airbnb, bizarre experience, and boy, did I get off on the wrong foot with Airbnb, because my first Airbnb experience was Goodwood almost a year ago. Oh, we lucked out. And they found a place that was a modern piece of architecture, looked like a W Hotel if they make freestanding condos with a view of the channel and the sea air, and it just couldn't have been better, more modern, and just what you're looking for in these kind of accommodations. Not homey, more like an upscale hotel. You know what I mean? Because the thing that always got me about the bed and breakfasts is like, this is a room where Timmy I mean before he killed himself this is where before the autoerotic masturbation situation over here this was his bed some of his pictures are still up that's the quilt grandma made in his honor you can sort of see it looks like him yeah it's like a lot of weirdness you know like I don't want everyone's memories all over this place shared bathroom down the hall yes but we got this beautiful piece and all of us stayed there and we sat in the modern luxury, and it was a home run. And then we walked into this place, and here's my theory. You know, I have a theory about hot chicks having a slightly skewed version of life through the lens of, you know, ever since they were, and look, I'm not going 18. I'm going 12 and a half, 13. When you're hot blonde and you're 13, your life's different than the dumpy chick. But let's face it. Everyone's nice to you. You live in a bubble. Your school's easy, and yeah. Yeah, and you're not, look, I'm not saying you're having sex with your teacher. I'm just saying everyone's a little bit more polite, and they sort of cut you some slack. And, you know, if there's a date to go on or an occasion or something, and you're a little bit late, they don't chew you a new asshole. Well, the chick who was there, who was the owner of the Airbnb, the house, was definitely formerly a hot blonde. Formerly. Right. But that carries over into the rest of your life. You learn that early, and it's what you know. Yes. Or you don't learn a whole bunch of stuff that we should learn or that human beings need to learn. So she was that. We showed up at like 4, 4.30, and she was in full effect. Like, oh, man, I'm still cleaning the place out. Like, oh, I didn't think you'd be here this early. It's like, eh, the plane landed at noon, and we got in a rental car, and it's a two-hour drive. So you shouldn't be that. It adds up. But also. Second time. Maybe there's traffic. Maybe there isn't traffic. Maybe we show up at 3.30. Maybe we show up at 6.30. How about you just lock it off at 3, and we'll be good. But she was Max Patty. Do you have any recollection of this gown? Yeah, she was just a mess. She was just running around trying to clean, chewing her dog out of the room. It kept coming back in. She kept chewing it back at. The worst thing ever when you go and stay in someone's house, dog hair everywhere. Yeah, it was long-haired dog. Long hair and everywhere. And also, I was like, I looked online, and the pictures that she had featured her child in the picture of the room. That's like when you're looking at places on Redfin or whatever, and it's like the person is in the picture. Yes. It's super weird. Wait, these people live in this. That's my bedroom. Boy, do they live in it. Okay, because, yeah, that hasn't been my Airbnb experience. The kid's out on the patio. Looks super sad. It's a seductive pose. It was our photo. I remember just seeing the picture of the kid. Now, here's what I'm saying in life. When we procured the place, I just, you know, I trust Matt. Sorry. I used to trust Matt. And my whole thing is I don't know anything about it. There's a picture of the dog as well. I don't know anything about Airbnbs or whatever. So I'm just like, Matt, just find a place. Make it near the track. I'm always in a rush. And Matt, who hit a home run the last time we went to Goodwood, I certainly trusted to find this place. When we were in the south of France, and it was me and Chris and Mike, and we were sitting around, the only network was BET. It was the only English-speaking network that was available on the TV. and all we watched was Cribs circa 2002. So a lot of... Cribs is actually dubbed in French, though. We just watched it. We just sat and watched Cribs on a 19-inch TV. Wee boy! Yeah. It was awesome. By the way, it goes to show you any port in a storm for uneducated folks who've turned their back on reading, which is I was every bit in growth. It was a little acclimation process of about six minutes, and then I couldn't have been chomping at the bit harder for that next Cribs episode. And this was lower-level Cribs where it's like the 23-year-old mixed chick who's a producer and sometimes performer is showing her, us, her loft, who shares a wall with Andy Dix slash workplace, It's like all of 2,300 feet. Like, at a certain point, this is not making the – there needs to be a cutoff for crib. I need to – Half the time with us just guessing who that person is. Oh, it's great. Danny Bonaduce. Welcome to my apartment. Like, this is after the divorce, Danny Bonaduce. Like, and just because you do that triple cut where he opens the fridge and you go back and forth to it nine times doesn't mean there's anything good happening in that kitchen. But we dutifully watched because what – we had no choice. And we watched 41 episodes. Yeah, I think we watched the whole thing. But we went and looked online, and I said, let's get a refresher course. I haven't looked in a while. What's our Airbnb looking like when we land in London town? And Mike pulled it up, and I looked at it. And all I went was, huh, she's got a picture of her kid. And I just remember thinking, well, there's an indicator. Window of negligence. That's about all I need to know in everything is there's a bizarre picture of her child in one of these, and a picture of her dog. We're scrolling through the pictures, and I'm going to piggyback on that and say, it's like when you're, an indicator, additionally, is when you're looking at a hotel, like in San Francisco, and you're not sure if it's crappy or not, and the pictures on the website are of the Golden Gate Bridge. You're like, ah, that's the indicator. See, I'm scrolling through the pictures right now. There's pictures of, like, her china. Yeah, there's one at a beach. Yeah, it's like, ah, this is not a good sign. The one that's an indicator to me is the close-up of a bottle of liquor, suggesting you might need to have a few. Yeah. I literally, so she was in a hurry. She was trying to get, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, you guys are here already. And it's like, it's 4.30, sweet pea. Like, of course we're here. And you had the itinerary. But anyway, I've got to clean the place. I haven't cleaned the place. I'm cleaning the place. And there's still dog hair everywhere and everything. And it's so funny because Nate got his Airbnb next. Next we're going to Nate. Oh, okay. because we're filming over there. We had a big crew. I didn't even set foot into this Airbnb. I was like, I'm crashing at Nate's place. And we started walking through this place. And then it was one of those things sort of remind me of when they told me they're going to pull the plug on the Kalis X show at the end of February and Producer Andrew was telling me about March Madness. And I just went, uh-huh, uh-huh, all right, yeah, that's good. That's good. Yeah. So as she's touring us around the place, I'm going, this is great. This is awesome. This is awesome. This is great. Do you want to see how the shower works? No, I do not. Let's get back in the van. We've got to go see Nate's place. The shower is a bit tricky. Poor Nate. Nate knows what's going on, too. And the thing that was funny is, and here's, now you tell me how nutty this is. And if this isn't hot blonde, formerly hot blonde. She then, as we're leaving, goes, this was Wednesday, Thursday? Wednesday? Yeah, she then goes, oh, by the way, Friday, I work from home, and so I work from here. So I'm used to, you know, this is where my computer is. This is insane. And I'll be out of your way. You guys will be out at the track. You know, you won't know I was here. You won't have to be home here. I do need to, if it be okay, she was nice about it, but I do need to come back into my home. that I do need to come back for a full day of work in the house that you're paying for. This is an Airbnb nightmare. And there is no, here's, okay, here's my thing in life. I am totally open to the idea of you coming back on one of the days we purchased your home at full fare for you to work half a day. That's fine. What do you got for me? What, knock off $250? Like, what is the, yes, whatever your concession is, whatever you want is fine. I'm basically the guy who's running the falafel hut, and you're telling me, you know, I want a cucumber and tomato salad on the side and some extra hummus, and I'm going, okay, we can accommodate you. It'll be another buck for the hummus and $2.50 for the salad. And that's the world I want to live in. I don't want the one where I'm going to do you a favor and give you a bucket of hummus, or you're going to do me a favor and not give me $100. Yeah, look, you want to come back and do it? Good. Knock off, $100. I don't think she brought that one up. Again, part of the hot chick. Because only a formerly hot blonde would expect that that could be okay. There are no questions about that. Right. But I deemed her a nut job immediately and need to get the hell out of there. You just left Chris and Dawson there to fend for themselves? No, just me. A lot of the crew hadn't showed up yet, So I decided that whoever, you know, showed up last was going to have to deal with it. And I ended up showing up at the other place. Now, I didn't need the master bedroom at the other place. That's a nice deal. But Nate's a smaller man. And but that was my air. And I guess there's indicators. And yeah, you're right. If you see the close up of the booze bottle, the Golden Gate Bridge or the dog or the kid is in the picture. It's an indicator. Absolutely. Indicator. Another indicator. Simply safe. Yes, these guys are an indication of pros who do a job and do it right. You guys can just go ahead and set up the system yourself. The dude met his friends over at Harvard. Oh, man. I just screwed myself. I didn't take the SATs or I had a 1.7 GED and I only took high school math. It's also GPA. Yeah, same thing. SATs? Yeah, it's okay. What did I say? SATs? You said GED. Oh, I meant SATs. We know you did. I didn't take the SATs. You don't say. You don't say. I said GEDs. Jesus. You screwed yourself. What happened? I should have went to Harvard and not be admitted to Harvard. Okay, like Will Hunting. Just go. Just show up and then befriend somebody. Okay. And then, forevermore, I could go... I met Larry at Harvard. When I was at Harvard. Yeah, that's right. I met him at Harvard. How'd you meet your business partner? At Harvard. We met at Harvard. We were at Harvard. Oh, wow, you guys were at Harvard together. We were at Harvard. At the same time. Yes, that's where we were. At the same time, obviously. We went and met. Did you meet him in a class? We met at Harvard. At Harvard. At Harvard. At Harvard. Yeah. They have quads there. That's where we met. If they do. If we're not, we met somewhere else. Color group. Yeah. See, the Simply Safe guy has his friends from Harvard. Yep. Ooh, now we've got to check into him. One of them was in class. That's right. Camera. He was there. His friend's got robbed. He wanted to help mount security companies. He shopped around. And then, because he was a Harvard guy, he just invented his own company. Wireless, no drilling, just $14 a month. They're about $14.99 a month. About a third of what you pay with other companies. A little long-term lock-in contracts. That's the part he didn't like. Right now, $100 off my hand-picked security arsenal. You got the entry and the motion sensor and the glass-breaking sensors. Go to SimpliSafe. Two I's in there. SimpliSafeAdam.com. Get the discount. SimpliSafeAdam.com. All right. Let's see. Gary, do we have that? that Bill Maher clip. I love when Bill Maher does this. Bill Maher from a couple of weeks ago. And I think all were, isn't, well, you guys tell me, and maybe this has to be the new era, but it's up there with my, Lance Bass, just tell us your game, we'll move on. Like, don't we want this, and isn't this what frustrates us? I mean, even the whole, Hillary Clinton thing. I mean, she just lied her ass off. And all I wanted, I think all we ever wanted was, yeah, it was a mistake. I shouldn't have done that. I only went out on a few things. Like, she just, most of the stuff she said, like, I only had one device, or I never used this, or I never used that. There's just film of her saying it, and now the FBI director says, no, something else happened. Don't we just want her to go, look, I screwed up. It's stupid. You know, look, dumb. Not going to happen again. Intentable. Yeah. Whatever. And the thing I love about Bill Maher is Bill Maher is very strong politically on many topics, such as climate change and things of that nature. But when it comes to Islamic terror, he's not with his party. He's not with his group. He's not with that group. He's with the group that is right about Islamic terror. But the whole idea is you can't agree with anyone outside of your group, which is insane. If they're right, then go ahead and agree with them, and then go back to your group. That's the worst thing about politics is that you must be dogmatically attached to whatever the group think is. That has to be your party line. Right, and it also makes me think that Bill Maher's telling the truth about whatever he believes that's within his group's mindset. See what I'm saying? I don't know what other people on the right or on the left are thinking because they think 100% that way. They never jump outside of their group. Now, I tend to believe that, Bill, like my when you fake your orgasm, hold one back every 10th to 13th, so I'll believe you. I mean, if you're 100% all the time that this is just it, I think you're lying. You should do it in sports. Like, if I, you know, I'm a USC fan. If I'm like, hey, this guy from UCLA is a pretty good player. I take him on my team. Then it's not like, oh, every time I have an opinion about a USC player, it's not like I'm a homer. You see good credibility. Yeah, I'm a homer, and I'm only about to say, no, I recognize this guy's a good player, and, you know, I like him on my team. But then my opinion on my own guys becomes that much more valid. Also, it makes me wonder, like, who are you really looking out for? Like, there's that Kate's Law thing where Kate Steinle, I think her name is Steinle, was basically shot by the illegal who was brought back and forth five times and had a bunch of felons and grabbed a gun and just gunned down. And her family's trying to pass this law that says, look, we're not deporting people for selling oranges on the side of the street. The law is if you're a felon and there's a violent crime and you've been back and forth a bunch of times, we're getting you out of this country. We can't have people that are violent felons coming back and forth five times. And I don't know if it's passed or not, but the Democrats are like, no, we're not down with this. And it's like, now where are you at now? Like, do you really, who are you protecting? What do you really believe? Is there a human being that you know that doesn't have a dog in the fight where you go, look, if somebody's a violent, convicted felon who's undocumented and is coming to this country illegally and we catch them, we're allowed to deport them. Who says no to that? That's pretty reasonable. Right. Gary, you can look into that a little bit. Now we know you're lying. I mean, because we know you all agree with that, but you're worried about a voting constituency. Here's Bill Maher, and I love it when Bill Maher does this, and he's yelling at, he'll be yelling at, is it Paul, oh, sorry, Paul Bajaner or something like that. Anyway, he's a professor at the University of Georgia Law School. This is why I don't want my kids to go to college, but here we go. Don't worry. I mean, I hear a lot of talk today about xenophobia, and is it really phobia if you have something to be afraid of? 52% of British Muslims think being gay should be illegal. What percentage of American Republicans believe that? Can we deport them? I love the clap. I love the sanctimonious, blowhardy clap. Oh, yeah, no, that's right. Yeah, that's Paul Begala. We should deport. Yes, he's pretty. That's what he meant. Okay. Not many. Not many. They think it should be illegal. Sure. No. Come on, Paul. We'll go check it. You know what? Stop it. Stop it. Just stop it. It wasn't illegal until a few years ago. There certainly is. It wasn't illegal until a few years ago. I love that they fall back on that. You know, it's like. Good point. Yeah, okay, you're right. Everyone's exactly like a extremist Muslim. I mean, you're a professor. What is your plan to solve this problem? Just lump everyone in with everyone else? Yeah. You're slashing the tires of the vehicles in this conversation. We can't move forward now. Right. We must stop and address the insanity that just came out of your mouth. The scariest part is that it draws applause from the audience. Oh, yeah, hey, you're right. That's true. That's true. That is so true. Yes. But anyway, God bless Bill Maher because he tells us to shut up. Quick behind-the-scenes question. Do you think the applause sign went off for that? I don't think they fire that thing. during the meat of the show? I can't imagine they would, and I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Because somebody would shoot it with their iPhone, and it would go viral. I don't believe there is one at all, and if there is one, they'd get fired up at the start of the show. No, that's the saddest part. I wish there was a plus time that some idiot just leaned on Arianna Huffington was back there just leaning on something. But no, no, no, no, no. All right. I just wanted to play that. And like I said, so here's the deal. I disagree with Bill Maher about most things politically, but I respect the person for living on planet Earth and living in an environment that has gravity and understanding where the problem is and where the problem isn't. And even though the guy's in his camp politically, he's not going to let him get in and spout out stuff that's insane. Call him. Okay. And, again, the historical, oh, let's go a couple of years. Yeah. Thanks. Okay, but where are we now? I don't know. I don't know, in a weird way, you know, there's evolution, there's progression. You know, we're not who we were in the 60s or 50s or 1860s or 2001. We're not, we're evolving. I mean, it's so, it's insane to sit around and, you know, it's like this. Ford says, hey, the 2016 or 2017 Ford Explorer is going to be one of our safest vehicles ever. It's got standard airbags and side impact collision control and this anti-lock, this and that. And so he goes, yeah, but what about the 50s? What about all those people who died on the road in your vehicle in the 50s? And it's like, we didn't invent the airbag. We hadn't evolved. They're no crumple bones. We didn't know. Yeah, all you had was lap belts. Some of your cars didn't even have shoulder harnesses. People just going forward in the steering wheel. Thousands of people died in your vehicles. Like, yeah, sorry. Okay. And now we're. That is a fact. Yeah. Well, and then you go, well, the 2017, which is what I'm here to talk about, is one of the savings. Yeah, what about if Truckasaurus gets it in its jaws and shoots fire at it? I suppose. All right. So, by the way, I know somebody who read an article about a guy dying in a Ford Explorer. So don't tell me in 2016 it's not possible or doesn't happen. It's like, all right, that's an insane conversation to have, right? But isn't that the one we just have all the time about everything? Sadly, yes. Yes. Meanwhile, there's another car company that's in the Middle East that's putting out Ford Pintos that explode every time a gay couple climbs into it. And we don't want to talk about that because we're just as bad. Same thing. Agreed, there's more room for safety. And I'll bet you that the 2022 Ford Explorer will be safer than the 2017. But for now, this is what we got. And I think it's pretty darn good. And, yes, mistakes were made in the 50s. And we can sit and highlight those all day long, or we can admit that we weren't as evolved as we are now. And some of it's technology, some of it's mindset, some of it's just plain old progression, and here we are. Either way, this is what it is. This is the 2017, or this is the conversation we're having. Either way. So would you mind joining me in the present and have this conversation? Join me in the present. and if whatever's going on in the present is a 1972 Pinto that's bursting in the flames that some other country's putting out, let's focus on that. And, yes, we could make ours marginally safer, but we can make these 50 times safer, so let's do that. But instead of pointing out examples where our car didn't work. Okay. All right, speaking of cars, ooh, good analogy, though, with the cars. True car, baby. Hmm. Let's see. You can choose from over 500,000 pre-owned vehicles. Probably Ford Explorer in there, too, I would guess. Nationwide. So looking to buy new, looking to buy used, get upfront pricing. You just lock it in. You go with the true car certified dealer. Enjoy it. It's quick. It's easy. The buying experience is so much better. Speaking of the old days, man, walking to that car lot. You had to bring your dad with you. I had to bring someone else's dad. The good news is I never walked onto a car lot until I was 32. I didn't have that first car thing. It was $800 in the recycler. True Car, baby. The users save an average of $3,279. Buy new or use. Visit them online. TrueCar.com. TrueCar.com. Or I got the app, True Car, baby. Use the app. All right. You will tell me when Danny and company, Craig Moss, shows up. I will hop on the phones. Jonathan, 33, Connecticut. Hey, Adam. How are you doing? They're here. Oh, wow. Okay. Oh, yeah, you. Yeah, how are you doing? I was doing good. Oh, God. I just had a bad sip of coffee. That's all. Oh, okay. The implication, I don't mind. So here's my question now. The doctor has given me the okay to drive. And we spoke a while back, and I thought that the Range Rover Sport. By the way, worst carpool on phone call ever. Good news. I've been cleared. Either by law enforcement community or team of doctors. So I'll see you about 8 a.m. Two toots on the horn. No more. Make a swim. That's right. cleared by the doctors. Okay. You got in a bad car accident in a van or something? Or a Cherokee? No, it was a Murano. Oh, yeah. When I got rear-rented out there in Los Angeles. Before that, I was involved in that helicopter. Hold on a second. Worst name for a car? the Nissan Murano or the Tisrael in North America or the Daihatsu Charade they're both pretty bad the Charade is worse because at least Murano is Murano but it doesn't play well over audio radio ad did I tell you when we were in Cabo the car we rented was a Dodge attitude. Oh, really? I'm sorry, I forgot that fun fact. Did you know they had those? You'll see models of cars that you didn't know existed at car rental places in other countries. Also, Dodge makes their cars for people who aren't old enough to legally drive. They're toy cars, essentially. The color palette, the names, everything about them is sort of a joke. It's like the vacuum had to be filled like when somebody was like, hey, Pontiac's out of the game. Who's going to build piles of crap for dumb people to buy? Dodge stepped up to the plate. I'll do it. Mercedes and Lexus were like, no thanks. But Dodge was like, we'll fill that void. I got this, you guys. Yeah. All right. Look, there are a lot of people that like vodka that taste like cotton candy. Now, who's going to build my car? Dodge stepped up to the plate. It's an underserved market. Dodge was like, well, Pontiac handles. No, they're out of the game. All right, then we'll step up. I guess the mantle falls to us. Hey, Pontiac, do you have a bunch of those fake scoops left over? we could strap the side of the car because the people that drink the cotton candy-flavored vodka seem to like those. What are you doing with those things? All right, get our caller back. Jonathan. Yeah. All right, so we're going charade? For me, I think that sounds worse. Yeah. Okay. Jonathan? Oh, sorry. Any allowance for the fact that one came out in 92 and the other one came out in 2014? You know what I mean? Like, come on, there's computers now. I mean, this is a global economy. Come on now. Okay. Jonathan? Yes. Helicopter accident. Yeah, the helicopter accident in Afghanistan. That's what really destroyed the hips first, and then the rear ending. Well, that's what you get for trying to beat traffic. It was an Uber driver. What were you doing in Afghanistan in the helicopter again? I was a helicopter crewman for a work in private contracting. Mm-hmm. For America? Yes, for the United States. Okay. Okay. So that was bad, but you survived? I survived, yeah. How many people were on the helicopter when it went down? There was five of us and two of us survived. Oh, Jesus. Wow. Yeah. You've got to tell us the story. Okay, we were essentially, okay, what we were doing, we were sending ammo, we were dumping ammo, pallets of ammo to some special forces. And we got hit by an RPG and hit the tail rotor, and we just went down. How high were you when you were hit? Really not that high. They were probably maybe, let's say, about 70 feet above the ground. And you started spinning around and just had a super hard landing? Just super hard landing, yeah. And your injuries were what? My injuries were I shattered my both femurs, shattered my pelvis, and they had to fuse my lower back. And the three folks that didn't make it, were they up front in the cockpit in the same area? They were up front in the cockpit, and what happened was the tail rotors spun. Not the tail rotors, but the rotor blades spun, and basically, well, not basically, decapitated their heads. Oh, Christ. It was awful. It had to be a bad day. I mean, you were conscious? You witnessed that? I don't. I did not witness that. I remember passing out when I hit the ground. Well, not that you were worried because you were passed out, but then what about the folks that whoever shot you with the RPG? What about the GED? Why are we worried about those people now, you know, sort of Black Hawk Down style? A little bit, but there was plenty of military presence in the area that we were safe. Uh-huh. Boy. Did you know the three guys well? Yeah, I did. I mean, I was with them. I did, let's see, I did three tours with them 120 days at a time, yeah. I feel like a bad dream. The guy from Bill Marsh said that could have been a Catholic or Christian insurgent just as easily. What about us? What about us? Yeah, we cannot judge. We can't judge. Wow. All right. My question is that right now I have a Range Rover Sport, and it's just too high for me to get in and out of in the wheelchair. And I'm wondering any suggestions on a vehicle, A, that's safe, and, B, that's going to be easy to get in and out of, you know, taking apart the wheelchair and slinging it in and stuff like that. You know, the good news and bad news with you confined to a wheelchair and driving, your upper body will be in fantastic shape well into your 80s because every single day you're going to have to do essentially a dip where you lift yourself up, swing yourself over, grab this contraption, sling it over your shoulder. You can't go a day without doing the equivalent of 25 push-ups. Well, while Chris and I were in Kauai, there was a guy at the hotel who had a wife and a young child, probably like one and a half or two. He was in a wheelchair, and he was chasing after the kid and doing all the things dads do and getting out of the pool, In and out of the pool, the dip, basically, in and out of the pool was super impressive. The guy was well-defined up top. Yeah. No choice. Sort of like, you know, living on the ninth floor with no elevator, like every single day. Those cabs. Yeah. So a car. Now, but you need space for the wheelchair and everything, right? Yes. Yeah. The Range Rover Sport's a nice car. You're not looking to downgrade it to, like, a van or something? How about the Murano? Yeah, let's go with that. Would you consider a Dodge attitude? Nope, nope, nope. I would consider maybe, I mean, something like a, you know, Mercedes has those, you know, what's it, like a GLA or something like that. Look, here's what I'm going to say. There were times in this nation's history where if somebody said, I want to buy a GM product or I want to buy an Audi. I tell people all the time, you know, when they talk about, well, how are you going to overcome this? Or are you going to have bad publicity? Or, hey, you've been typecast because you're a sitcom dad. Yeah, tell that to Bryan Cranston. It works out all right. If you're good, you overcome all that. Johnny Depp is 21 Jump Street. Now it's Johnny Depp. So Audi was a joke. And by the late 80s, early 90s, if someone said, I want to buy an Audi, 5,000, They'll be like, I'll kill you if you go to an Audi. It's a pile of crap. Nope. Now they're Audi. Now they're Audi. Why? But what did they do? It wasn't an awareness campaign. They started building a kick-ass product. And everybody, and this is my argument for the free market. I think we all win. Because now you can buy Cadillac. You can buy Ford. You can buy Chevy. Everything works. Everything's good. Because Audi is out there stomping ass. And thus, if Ford wants to stay in business, I would have told people when I was coming up, don't buy an American car. Don't do it. Or don't get an Audi. Or don't get this company. You've got to get a Japanese company. Everything is 95%. It's basically a Pixar movie on Rotten Tomatoes. It's all good. And maybe the Audi is 100%, but everything else is 96%. So just go get whatever you want now. There you go. All right. Danny Trejo is coming in here. Craig Moss, the director, is coming in here. They're doing a social media campaign. They're trying to raise some money. They're making a movie. We'll talk tacos. First, Oberto, beef jerky, all natural. Good travel food. Yeah. Vinnie Tortorich will tell you, when you travel, take some jerky. You want to talk about not taking up space but taking up plenty of space in your tummy? Yeah. Oberto, beef jerky. Go get it and get it wherever. I honestly would say don't buy one pack. Buy five. Throw one in your car. Throw one in your backpack. Just hem around. Satiates you. Three delicious flavors, original, teriyaki, pepper. I like the teriyaki. That's me. Anyway, protein packed, all there. Listen to that little voice in your stomach. I'm going to give it a little Alberto beef jerky. And I said get a few packs and seriously spread them around. Seriously spread them around. All right. We'll take a quick break. Bring Danny in next. In the spirit of Murrow, Cronkite, Brokaw, here's another great moment in local news. More than 7,000 people showed up for the ribbon-cutting of the Ark Encounter. At 510 feet long and seven stories high, the wooden boat is loaded with exhibits of, you guessed it, two of God's creatures, including dinosaurs, which is puzzling to me. Replicas of that. I don't understand. How do you do that, right? I don't understand that part. That's a great moment in local news. Now, back to the Adam Carolla Show. Yeah. Welcome back. Danny Trejo is here. Craig Moss is here. Craig's the director. Danny's Danny. They're making a movie. They're doing a little crowdfunding. Social Security is the name of it. And tell me if I got these numbers right. You can go to Indiegogo and Dash Social Security and look it up, right? Yeah. Now, what's our goal and how far in are we and where are we at? The goal is $225,000. We just started. We just went live and I think we're like at $3,000 or almost $3,000 or something. And you can make a movie for that prize or you can make this movie for that prize. No, it'll cover some of it. Right. So we're looking to get also some other people put some money into the film as well. But this will cover a portion that won't be covered of the film. And Danny's playing himself. Yeah. Give me a stretch. Good luck. I loved him in Con Air. I loved that movie. Johnny 23. Yeah. Come up to the heat. Yeah. Yeah. Heat. Yeah. I forgot about that. I own that movie, man. Yeah, you would not believe how many times I've heard, don't leave me like this, Holmes. That's right. That's an intense scene, man. Danny's also got himself a taco stand. I think I saw it on, I don't know, TMZ or something. But I thought, this looks fantastic. Where is it? It's right on La Brea between Pico and Olympic. Oh, back on Hale and Hale's place. And the lobster barrel. And what do you impress us with some taco talk? Well, we don't have no lobster tacos. Oh, damn it. We're getting some. What do you do? I think you do like a vegan taco. You do everything. You know what? It's like inevitably when you're dealing with people in the industry, five or six of you want to go out to dinner, somebody doesn't eat meat, somebody's a vegetarian. So we just did it all. We got everything going there, and it makes it real simple. I've had people come up. this is the first time me and my husband can go to dinner together. Because you can have, you know, vegan, you can have gluten-free. You can take the kids, and we have a little place for the kids to play. Well, what's the crowd pleaser? Oh, God, we've got a brisket taco. Guys, it's not said a brisket. I've got to tell you, I don't want to drop any Spanish surnames on you or first names, but Lucy's El Adobe, with little place, been there a million years, across from the studios. I think it's Melrose or Santa Monica. I can't remember. Melrose, I think. They would do a barbecued brisket taco that was, I don't know why, phenomenal. The idea that the beef in there was barbecued and somehow it worked. But, yeah, the brisket is the best. You know, it comes down and it's on me. It's like unbelievable. It's like the brisket is unbelievable. You have a fried chicken taco, right? Yeah, yeah. We also have a wrap. God, I hate to say that. Anything that's wrapped is a burrito. Yeah, I know. We did with your burrito what you did with our donut. You straightened it out and called it a churro. I said, feel it, bitch. That's right. Yeah, we're even now. We even named it a California lab. We're named after the state we took from you. Yeah. That one's in the green gown. Oh, yeah. Nice. That is so awesome. Sweet. Absolutely right. Any other one of our pastries you want to shape? Huh? Because we've got other things we can do. God. Oh, my God. We come to a bridge. You want the burrito back? That is over the donuts. That's right. Yeah, we'll do it like a prisoner exchange bar. Yeah. That's beautiful. Yeah, I sort of feel that way with countries. Like, you know, like, hey, Canada, you know, we like Jonah Hill or, no, wait. Seth Rogen? Seth Rogen. We like Seth Rogen. We're not in love with the Biebs or Alan Thicke, so we'd like to send him back. But who do you got? But there's no one over there that's annoying you that was born in Arkansas. We'll take him on a trade. So, Danny, you grew up out in Southern California, right? Yeah, yeah. I grew up in Pacoima. Oh, boy. Yeah. I mean, that's nice. No. No, Pacoima's been, out of all the places in the valley that are now Mexico, Pacoima's been Mexico for the longest, right? Yeah, absolutely. We have a very strong Hispanic. Yeah, a lot of murals. A lot of murals with Cesar Chavez holding a horn. And Danny Trejo. And Danny Trejo. There's got to be Danny Trejo. Yeah, there's a bunch of murals, right? There's a bunch of them. We love it. It's like, you know, San Fernando Valley is like, I love it. It's like a great place to live. You have everything. So did you go to like Pauly High or San Fernando? I went to Pauly, North Hollywood, San Fernando, Monroe, and Van Nuys. I didn't play well with others. I did all that in the 10th grade. Wow. Going to a lot of high schools is like when someone, when you go, what do you do for a living? Well, I'm a florist, but I'm also a janitor, but I also clean pools. I get it. It's not going that well. It's not going well. Yeah, going to a lot of high schools. Well, I went to North Hollywood High. I went there. And then I went to. Across the street, the parfait, Leonard's. You could be right across the street, right across Magnolia. Well, now there's the Taco Bell. Right. My application was rejected in 1979. True story. They make authentic Mexican food. I played for the Sun Valley Falcons, so I ended up at Pauly High. That was our home field with Pauly High. Through playing Pop Warner football, you'd have to go play San Fernando. You always play at the high school when you play Pop Warner football. There's no Pop Warner football field, just the high school. So you have Polly. You have, by the way, the Parrots. You have the North Hollywood Huskies. Yeah. San Fernando Tigers. Yeah, I know. And who, what was your other high school? Monroe. Monroe. Yeah. Well, there's a slightly better high school. Yeah. I think you were the Vikings. Yeah. I was the old Mexican in Monroe. Oh, yeah. That's why I was a good school. I was in North Hollywood. Yeah. I mean, so you, I think I played my last high school game at Monroe in, there were sort of Van Nuys-y, but kind of insinu-y, kind of like a little nicer part of Van Nuys. And was that it for, well, what were you doing? Well, fighting? Yeah, mostly, you know, different neighborhoods and stuff, and you show up in neighborhoods. I went back to Poly, and then I went to prison. Uh-huh. So I graduated, yes. To Pipeline. Yeah, see, the whole thing is, you kids, you think the Huffington Post thinks they invented the school-to-prison pipeline? No, man. Danny was digging that thing in the 60s. He'd cut the ribbon and laid the first mile of pipe back in the mid-60s. Yeah, hell yeah. Yeah, that pipeline's been around for a while. I always say that the first part of my life was a character study, and the second part, I'm playing all in character. so you what made you what leads you what led you to get in all these fights and and getting all this trouble because especially back then it took a little work to get kicked out of high school well it was just you know i didn't i get along with others i didn't understand respect and if you looked at me too long you were disrespecting me and it was it's always like just like you know what are you looking at you know and you say things like you know if you're looking for your mom, she's back there. That's not like... Right. Was your dad around? Yeah, yeah. My dad was around. My dad was busy working. He was a hard worker. My dad did labor. He didn't have time for school stuff. My mom came to school. My mom had been to every school I was at. That's nice, yeah. That's weird. Come on, Open House Wednesday. Where retail shall it be? Because there are 22 schools in the Sanford and out of Valley, Danny. Is this up for everyone? Yes, Daniel, maybe I can swing by all of them. How many bushels of apples do I need for all the teachers? My mom knew every vice principal in all the high school letters. Of course, he was living in their office. He called in from work all the time. Jesus. And this is like, so you graduated from Pa? No. Oh, no, Monroe. Monroe. No, I got my high school diploma in San Quentin. Oh, that's where they were hiding it. He slipped all over for it. They should have put it in a place of business. They should have just started working. The library, that's the pipeline for you. And it's so funny, isn't it? Every teacher that I ever dealt with said, if you don't get a high school diploma, you'll never amount to any of this. Later, lady. You didn't listen. Do you know that I, when I got to San Quentin, all my friends said, get in the dry cleaning, man. It's like the best. And you get to stay dark still. Yeah, San Quentin. So I put my ducat in for the dry cleaning. It came back, this trade requires a high school. Wow. I could hear Mrs. Finley saying, we told you to get into high school. I like the extra level. Even in the joint, you're going to need a diploma. Absolutely. Wow. So what did you get in? So you went to San, you were what, 18 at San Clinton? 19, yeah. What was the crime? I sold four ounces of sugar to a federal agent Oh wasn even poker speed In lewd of narcotics No they were very very angry Well did you have a rich history of in and out of court and things like that Yeah, I went to. But no, but they were just mad. If I would have gave the money back, I think maybe they would have been a little lenient. How much money did you get? About $4,000. That's a lot of money. And they never got it back? No. So was this a stab? Wait, wait, wait. I gave it back. Could they text me on that? I think it's a write-off if you use it as part of the story. If it's in Social Security, then you can totally write it. Right on. So how long in San Quentin? Oh, God. I did about 19, 20 months in San Quentin and then went to Folsom. And then from Folsom, we had a disagreement, and we went to swallow the dead. And what is the – Geez, even – by the way, even, you know, it goes from vice principals to wardens. Like, you really couldn't get along with them. Eventually, it's like, well, we're looking for alternative planets. They need to move to. We've shopped around. We're looking at Mars. You've been like, is it high school? Yeah. I had an ashtray. from Warden Fitzgerald's office in my cell. And it was funny. It was a glass ashtray. And, of course, you're not allowed glass. You had glasses, glass ashtray. It was a possession. And all the guards that used to come in would see it, and they would just laugh because they knew where it came from. So Warden Fitzgerald, when I left, he was saying, where's my ashtray? Well, how does one get the Warden's ashtray? You can buy anything. Really? Somebody has an Astro. Give me that. You should have bought a diploma. I had a diploma. I told you. Oh, yeah, you got it. But not early enough on. For the dry cleaning gig. What other lucrative trade did you move on to? Well, we did. I did a little bit of everything, really. But kind of basically the best thing was running like a protection ring. That was the most lucrative. In that ring, a diploma will only slow you down. Yeah. Now, how does the protection ring work? Just young people come into prison and you just tell them, hey, you're not going to do well here. Right. And it's so funny. I love all the movie stars that end up getting busted, right? And they talk about what they did. They paid, and I know you paid. You've got to pay. You have to. If you're a celebrity and you go to prison, you will be paying somebody. So, you know, all you little kids thinking you're tough, remember that. And all them rappers that have gone, now they paid. What is the form of payment? Money. You can send money. Canteen. Canteen, or you can wash clothes, or you can change your name to Maria. So you've got to get in there. Now, is everyone completely segregated at this point? You kind of segregate yourself. Right. You have to segregate yourself. So you're hanging. Forgive you if you're a mixed race. You're hanging out with the Irish dudes. Right. I said one in, one out. I know what you're talking about. So you've got the black dudes over here. You've got the Hispanic dudes over there. There's one Jewish guy. He's circling the wagons constantly like Mel Brooks and blazing saddles. I hate to say this, but usually a lot of the Jewish guys, they run like the poker games or the tickets for football. So protection, so you see the new guys, you know the new guys come in, and you go, look, you've got to sign up for this basically, otherwise. I'm trying to figure out whether it is protection or extortion. It's a thin line there. Yeah. Yeah. But it's like it helped. I had people, even after they got out of prison, sending me letters and sending me money and stuff. What did you, to establish yourself as sort of an enforcer or a protector, do you have to get out there and set an example? Yeah. You know, prison is probably the only place in the world where you have one of two choices. You're either going to be a predator or prey. It's up to you to decide every morning. In a weird sort of animalistic, base human sort of bottom line way, is prison the most realistic human experience on the planet? Because now we have, you can buy your way, you can get your kids right around the helmet in the car, the air conditioning's blowing in their face, you know, and there's five airbags around them. You know, the prison is sort of human at its most human form in a weird way, right? Yeah, that's a good analogy. And did you take that out of prison and sort of experience? When I left prison, I left prison in 1969, August 23rd. And August, Cinco de Mayo, 1965, me, Ray Pacheco, and Henry Quijada, they both passed away. They were shot in robberies. But we were, it was alleged that we incited a prison riot and three gas chamber offenses were committed. So, basically, you know, we might have went to the gas chamber. So, that's kind of where I turned my life around. I said, okay, this is stupid. Wow. So there's a prison riot. People were killed. People were injured bad. Well, we had the death penalty back then. Well, what happened was that a rock was thrown and Lieutenant Givens was hit in the head. Now, drawing blood on an officer is a gas chamber offense. Really? I'll back that for sure, right? And it was alleged that I did it. And I, in his report, Lieutenant Gibbons said one of the three individuals. So, you know, basically, DJ reject. Three people gathered on one rock. So, DJ reject. And Craig, tell us about your stretch in the joint. Well, it was tough. But, you know, Craig, thank God for Danny. Oh, you're fine. Oh, you're going to protect you. Yeah. He was that close to calling me Maria. Yeah, you ain't going to last long with those frames. No, no, no, no. And then he said, I'm the director of Muakul. Let's put me in a movie. That's right. That's how it all started. We did three movies together. We did Badass 1, 2, Badass on the Bayou with Danny Glover. That was awesome. So you've worked with other guys you didn't see eye to eye with who you had to work with, Danny? There's been a couple of people that I've pulled aside and told them, look, I'll beat you to death. I like that. I don't know if you think you're Hollywood or what. But, you know, basically everybody kind of comes around. Nobody really is bad with me. Well, I feel like when people hire you, they know exactly what they're getting. Yeah, but you know what? Eddie Bunker told me something. Eddie Bunker is a famous writer. He passed away, but that's who got me into the business in 1985. Mr. Blue. Right, right, Mr. Blue. That was Mr. Blue. Yes. And even in actual, he had served time. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, we had actually done time together. That's how I met him. I met him on the set of Runaway Train, John Voight and Eric Roberts. Love that movie, and wildly underrated. Oh, yeah. That was one of their best. First off, you've never liked Eric Roberts. Well, now you will in this movie. Number two, John Voight plays a badass, which shows you what a great actor he is. And the cinematography was amazing because you've never seen a train go through virgin snow where you don't see the track. So it just looks like the train is just going on its own through a white quilt of snow. It's a really good movie that's underrated. I mean, the train was actually a character in this movie. It was an unbelievable part of this movie. So how you got involved with that, I'm trying to think what year Runaway Train. 25, 1985. So tell us, finish your story. Well, Eddie offered me a job to train Eric Roberts on a box for the movie Runaway Train. because I used to box him. Eddie saw me win the lightweight and the Walter White title up in San Francisco. In prison. And he asked, are you still boxing? I said, well, I'm training. Because they were paying us 50 bucks for acting like convicts in runaway training. And he said, are you still boxing? I said, I'm training. He said, well, we need somebody to train one of the actors how to box. And I said, what's it pay? And he said, $3.20 a day. Wow. And I said, well, how bad do you want this guy beat up? How many days do you want me to beat him up? I could have been 20 a day. It would take five minutes. And he would, oh, you've got to be careful. The actor's high, strong. He might sock you. So I said, Eddie, I've been beat up for free. You can give this kid a stick for 320 bucks. I started boxing with Eric Roberts on the movie Runaway Train. The director, Andre Kozulowski, saw me, and he saw that Eric and I got along. and I'll never forget this. Andrei Kozulowski was a Russian aristocrat, very aristocratic. When he talked, he did this. You be in movie. You met a lot of those guys at Polly in San Bernardino. You be in movie. You fight Eric in movie. Everybody jumps up and says, he's not saying. I'm thinking they're calling me a skag. I'll slap the shit up. I'll slap the hell out of him. And he goes, make him just like this. You be in movie. You be my friend. I'll never forget that. You don't let people tell you that you'll be their friend in prison. And then he leans over and he kisses me on one cheek, kisses me on the other cheek, and walks away. I looked at Eddie Bunker. I said, look, I'm going to train the kid for 320, but if I'm going to be kissing that old man, I want more money. And, you know, he's European, so. Wow. That's how I got in. And then the first five years of my career, I just played, like, inmate number one. Yeah. Bad guy. Well, again, it's not really typecasting if that's what you did. I mean, and Danny, I think you're. It's funny you said that, because the first time I got interviewed, somebody said, Danny, aren't you afraid of being stereotyped? I said, what? and says, well, you're always playing the mean Chicano dude with tattoos. And I thought, I got a tattoo this big on my, I am the mean Chicano dude with tattoos. I got to say, again, runaway train. Most people don't, it doesn't make the rounds on cable, it doesn't get talked about that much, but a really good, high-quality movie, and we can see a young Danny Trano. You made that, I haven't seen it in a million years. You were in it. I went to Boxer. I got to Boxer in the movie. This movie, again. Social Security. Social Security. Social Security. And you can go to Indiegogo.com and you just search Social Security and make Danny's dreams come true. I honestly believe that it's Craig Moss' best work. And Craig Moss as well. Craig, did you write it? I did, yeah. And give us a little overview of the story, please. The best way to describe it is die hard in a retirement home. Yeah. Stalled. Right? I mean, you hear that with Danny Trejo, and that's it. All right, you guys want to hang out? We'll do a little news. Absolutely. Can you guys get that crack-wise? Give me news with Gina, Gina, Greg. Show business, Congress, tech news, sports news, well done. Stop, stop. Give me news with Gina, Greg. We're shit out of Florida. Sex, service, Obama. Meet news with Gina, Gina, Greg. The news with Gina, Greg. Well, protests and outcry are taking place all over the separate shootings of two black men by police officers this week. So I'm going to give you both stories real quick. Late Tuesday night, 37-year-old Alton Sterling was pinned down and shot in the chest outside a convenience store where he was selling CDs after a homeless man reportedly called 911 saying that a man matching Sterling's description showed him his gun after the homeless man asked for money. The shooting was captured on video by the convenience store worker who happened to be a friend. and a few bystanders. One of the officers shouted that Sterling had a gun, even though the video footage doesn't support showing the gun. We have it. I don't know if... I don't need to see it. It's pretty... But he had a gun, right? The homeless man said... I know, but then they found a gun. Right, but he hadn't drawn it. I know, but you've got to work that into the story, otherwise you're going to Huffington Post. Well, I didn't see it. I've seen it. No, he didn't brandish the gun. And he had, it's a different story if you don't have a gun at all. He had a gun. Right. Okay. Which he, I don't think we're each one. I just want all, I want all the information. Gotcha. Okay. So he has a gun. So here's the deal. I was sort of looking at this. First off, I would just tell people, look, cops will shoot anyone at any time for anything, anywhere. That's number one. Number two, the first story, I was like, look, sad the guy's dead, but you're selling CDs in front of a store, and you got a piece on you, and you allegedly show that piece to somebody. They're going to call the cops, and whatever happens after that, that, it's going to involve you. And my advice to anybody of any ethnicity is stay out of that situation because it can very easily, as history has shown, and whatever your skin color can end up this way. The second guy, that's the story that's very upsetting to me. The first one is, guy's dead, that's bad. But the problem, and I want to be clear, in the black community is no one deserves to be shot, but not everyone is a hero. Let's not inflate these guys' status. One guy strong arms a guy in a liquor store, grabs a bunch of stuff, cops are called or show up or whatever. Hey, I'm sorry. That's a much different story than a guy sitting in his car who's saying, I've got to reach for my wallet, I have a concealed carry permit. Let's not make them the exact same story is what I'm saying. Well, and I think where the actual outrage and horror comes in in the Alton Sterling story is, in the video, he's physically pinned down on the ground and shot point blank. No, that's horrible. So in that case, there was no reaching or doing? No, cops, here's the deal. Cops are the dumbest, angriest guys who were played on the football team in high school. And they are wanting to. When you decide to be a cop, your wiring is of a certain way if you sign up to be a cop. If you ask me or most of the guys I grew up with, could you be a cop? I go, no, I couldn't be a cop. Not because I would be fearful of being cops. I just couldn't impose myself on other people that way. I don't want to wrestle junkies on the sidewalk. I'd have trouble giving people parking tickets and or moving violations. There are a couple things with these cops. First off, they pulled a guy over for busted taillight. That's number one. Stop doing that, cops. Stop with the chicken-ass stuff with the pullover. This led into this. But, I mean, let's just stop that out on patrol to make money move in the first place. That everyone seems to be, every municipality has realized, oh, these guys are money collectors. They're like Danny in the joint. You know, I actually read an article on today, and they're calling it police-a-tearing, when they're literally just shaking people down for money. Well, it's not the policeman's fault, and it's not the chief of police's fault. It's the governor's fault and the mayor's fault, because they've quickly, when they're doing their budgets, went, oh, wait a minute, these homeless guys are costing us money. What do these guys do? Well, they're here to protect and serve. Yeah, but these guys are turning a pretty good profit. I mean, these guys are pulling over people left and right, making tons and tons of dough for the city. Once that began, it's really hard to shut that spigot off. Like, once that inflow of, hey, there's these guys, yeah, what do you pay them? Eh, with benefits and retirement and everything, we probably average about $41 an hour. All right. But in a good hour, those guys can pack in like $1,500, maybe $2,000 worth of fines. Ooh, we got earners on Moto Guzies out here just buzzing around, hammering checks. Okay, this is good. Let's focus on that. Don't you want them to go to the seedy part of town and look into gang activity? No, no, park them on Forest Lawn Drive in front of the Jewish cemetery. Have the guy back the bike up there. And then when people go too fast on Forest Lawn, we'll get $340 each time you stop somebody. He's up there in mourning. Right. So the second it turned into that, that's a major problem. The other thing is, as I've said, whatever your skin color is, if the cops yell, get on the ground, you've got to get on the ground. That's it. Whether you did right or whether you did wrong, you've got to get on the ground. Right. Well, and this is more to that example in the second story that you were referring to. So a woman who began streaming video on Facebook immediately after her boyfriend, 32-year-old Philando Castile, was shot by police in suburban Minneapolis. So the woman identified by the names both Diamond and Lavish Reynolds says he'd been stopped for broken taillight, which she says was not actually broken, and that when he stated that he was licensed to carry a gun and that he was reaching for his ID, which the cop had asked for, the cop opened fire right into the window. So I have a clip of her talking about it. It does show the boyfriend. It is not pleasant, but it's her basically stating what's happening on Facebook Live in the moment and being very respectful and I think probably in shock. And he let the officer know that he had a firearm and he was reaching for his wallet, and the officer just shot him in his arm. We're waiting for him. I will, sir. No worries. He just shot his arm off. What? I pulled over on LARPENER. I told him not to reach for it. I told him to get his head open. You told him to get his ID, sir, and his driver's license. Oh, my God. Please don't tell me. How did he die from being shot in the arm? Must have passed through his arm? I think as far as she can see, it looks like he has. Yes, I will, sir. I'll keep my hands where they are. So the cop is, please don't tell me this, Lord. Please, Jesus, don't tell me that he's gone. So the cop is clearly distraught, freaking out, doesn't know what just happened. She keeps it together. This is a nine-minute video. They then ask her to get out of the car, walk backwards, cuff her, put her and her daughter in the back of a police vehicle. We have video, but it's funny. And so the whole time she's very composed and then absolutely just has, you know, an emotional outburst as anybody would when she realized what's actually happening. One of the things that I just got to say, being on the other side also, is that if you're going to carry a gun, nine times out of ten, there's going to be some kind of incident with that gun. Either you get shot or someone else gets shot. If you have a gun, you tend not to back up. It's like you're just kind of like, you know what, punk, get away from me. And if you don't have one, you just tend to be a little more passive. Yeah, I sort of believe, I look at it as sort of Jimmy's cousin Sal with his taser shock thing. He brought it into the man show when we were doing the man show. And it took him about 30 minutes to shock all 80 employees of the man show because he had it. Like, I have this feeling with cops, good guys, bad guys, whatever it is. it's strapped to your head. How long before you pull it out? It's right there. The cop suicide rates are through the roof because they've got a thing that will kill them, strapped to them, and I think they tend to use it. If that guy didn't have a gun, he wouldn't have showed it. He would have told that homeless guy, get away from me. Get away from me. I'll strap the shit out of you. Well, wait a minute. Not the homeless guy. The homeless guy. The homeless guy. Yeah, okay. Well, also, it's a self-selecting group, too, where you think, who amongst us wants to carry a piece all the time? Well, probably people that are getting into situations or going into neighborhoods or dealing with people that are of a different, who might have a gun as well. So it's like this self-selecting group, but either way. But in the second category, I mean, he couldn't have done anything more correct, I think. No. You say it, you have it, you say it, what you're doing. Cops are freaked out, and that's, and this, I'm sure, it's also one of these things where, and here's the other thing. Look, it's not, my only protest over this whole thing is when they just turn it into open season on black people. I disagree with that. I think cops will shoot anyone, anytime. They make mistakes all the time. They're not the brightest, and now they're super on edge and super nervous, which makes them even crazier with all this. and this notion of all they do is do black people. No, we just don't report it when it's white people. When the 19-year-old in Fresno gets shot, we look at his skin tone. If he's white, all right, it's not making the news. So, of course, if you did a thing and there was a shot fire, there was some kid in Fresno that got shot. Look, I showed you many depictions of Whitey getting the crap beat out of him or getting shot. But if you did this, I mean, if this is the way our news was wired. I like to make my car analogies, right? Mm-hmm. Okay. So here's the deal. We will, and I'll go back to color. There's black cars out there. There's white cars out there. And there's every other color. But I'll tell you what. The only stories that will make accidents, make the news for an accident, will be black cars. Those will just be black cars. If there's an accident with a white car, that's not newsworthy. If it's a black car, that's newsworthy. And then you sit around and watch the news for a couple of years. Well, what conclusions do you draw? Well, black cars are getting in accidents far more whatever. But that's not statistically true. It's just we're not reporting. If we refuse to report any other thing other than a black car narrative, then yes, we will all walk around in a society where we think there's something wrong with cops or black cars or whatever the analogy is. And that's where we're at. It's a good analogy. Thank you. I say there's plenty of footage of cops shooting Hispanic people and white people and doing, get Mark Garagos in here, he'll tell you, he's doing 10 cases that involve a guy walking his dog and a cop just came up and shot him and this and that. But we only care about this one. Yeah, my only question, because I was thinking about this because I knew we were going to talk about it, and I'm wondering, you can't prove it because it's just a hypothetical, I guess, psychological, but I'm wondering if in these cops and their anecdotal situations, if they come across a big black guy, they're on some sort of different alert. They absolutely are. They absolutely are. Because they create more crime statistically, black males, in a certain age than do other groups of that age or other ages or females or Asians or whatever it is. Yes, of course, when a cop walks up on a big black dude, he has a different mindset than he does on an elderly Asian woman. So is it possible that in that situation, because of that, he's more trigger-hacking? Absolutely. Okay. That's absolutely what it is. And you're not going to weed that out. You can't. You can't weed that out of human beings. That's how every human being is wired. It doesn't make it right. It's just you're not going to weed that out. The only way to weed it out is to change the statistic. That's going to take a long time. That's the only way to do this. I mean, you can do all the cop training you want. They've got guns. They're some of the dumbest guys you went to high school with. they're wired a certain way, it's going to happen. But it's going to happen to whitey and Hispanic, too. And it'll happen to, you know, first off, above black, it's just male. I mean, you say, well, it's black males. No, it's male, white males, Hispanic males, black males. It's just males. Okay, that's number one. Well, what are cops doing? Well, when they walk up on a dude between the age of 16 and 31, they're hands on the gun because that's who commits all the crimes, whatever your color is. That's the guys that could get violent or physically may be imposing. That's how it works. What happened to the Fresno kid, Dylan Noble? Yeah, there's a video. Joe, it's unclear exactly what happened. When the video starts, he's on the ground, and they're screaming at him not to move, and then they shoot at him at least twice. But he's white. I don't get it. Apparently they felt he wasn't obeying their commands. All right. And what's more egregious than this? The guy's eight feet away lying on his belly, and they stand there a safe distance away. They're not wrestling with him. There's no implication that he could get their gun. and he's laying on the ground, and they just shoot him while he lays on the ground. Okay. It says they were 12 to 15 feet away. Okay, well, I've got better eyeballs than they do. But either way, I mean, look, he's halfway up a Ford F-150 with a body lift kit and a three-inch suspension lift, and they're standing by the tailgate, so they can't be that far back. They should go into court. All right, so I get back to what I always get back to, which is it's wrong, but it's not stop at the narrative of open season on black people. It's poisoning us. I've never seen that on the news. This story? Yeah. Why would you? He's a white guy. I like the truck. Who cares? Well, it's probably for sale. Oh, God. Forgive us a little. But from the mouth of convicts, Danny says, I've never seen this. Yeah, no, there's any of us. It's not a story. It's a 19-year-old kid who looks like a nice snowboarder getting executed in the street in the daylight hours. daylight hours. It's not a story. It doesn't exist. It doesn't exist. Why doesn't it exist? He's younger than these other guys that were shot. He was executed by cops. It was nearby. It's in Fresno. We're here in L.A. Why no story? It doesn't fit the narrative. That's all. So please, everyone with this stuff, understand what you're getting fed. And, of course, if you're the black community, you're going to be outraged because you're watching TV just like I'm watching TV. You don't hear about the guy from Fresno. You hear about these two brothers, and you go, I'm outraged. And you watch the news, and I don't want to feel hunted if I'm in that category. And then you get interviewed, and it's like you see the black mom. She's like, the only time this happens is the young black man. That's the only time this goes on. And, of course, that's the narrative. You've been fed. That's the only going to show accidents involving black cars. Okay. I just don't, all I'm saying is it happens, it's going to happen, and it's sad when it happens. But if you're a news agency, you've got to tell it when it happens every time or tone it down. But you can't just steer this. That's not news. It really isn't you giving the news. It's you technically giving the news. But if you're doing it so selectively that it seems like you're creating a narrative that doesn't fully exist, and you're doing a lot of harm to the community. Yes. You're kind of instigating. Well, in a way, when, you know, if you owned a pharmacy in Ferguson and it was burned to the ground, CNN has something to do with that because they steered it into this, you know, They do little things like calling the guy a kid, you know, even if he's 19 or whatever it is. They'll call him a young boy or something like that, a gentle giant. These are all things to incite, which I get. But here's the thing. Just tell us the story. The guy was 18. The guy got shot. Here's what he did. You start working into the gentle giant part, and now you're sitting home, and you're black, and you're getting pissed off. Well, everybody kind of forgets that the one guy strong-armed somebody in a market, and then this guy's carrying a gun. And the minute you're carrying a gun, you know what, I'm sorry, you're fair game. Well, you're fair game because you brandished it, allegedly, and somebody called the cops and said, that big brother's got a gun. Okay, the cops are already showing up with their antennas at full sale. Like, they're showing up agitated, freaked out, whatever. They're showing up like that. And nine times out of ten, when they get a call of any kind, they're agitated. They're already on, you know, they never know, especially domestic violence. You know, it's like elder abuse. Yeah. Hey, go out and social security, by the way, speaking of elder abuse. That was a working title. All right, next one. Well, Sarah Silverman had a serious health scare. The comedian says she spent last week in ICU for a life-threatening condition. She said, don't even know why I went to the doctor. It was just a sore throat. She wrote that on Facebook on Wednesday. And she said, but I had a freak case of epiglottitis. Now, if you're not familiar with what that is, it's an inflammation of the flap at the base of your tongue that keeps food from going into the windpipe. So due to its place in the airway, swelling of it can interfere with breathing and constitutes a medical emergency. And they almost always intubate immediately. So this is a huge deal. This is ironic because she's crazy into oral hygiene. Literally, she begged me to scrape my tongue once. I'm like, what are you doing with my tongue? You've got to scrape it. I said, with your vagine. You don't have a tongue scraper. No, I didn't know. She was outraged. You've got to brush that tongue, man. I said, all right. Looks like coffee. A lot of bacteria there. She said she woke up five days after surgery with no memory of what had happened. She actually thought she'd been in an accident. She added, quote, there's something that happens when three people you're so close to die within a year, and then you almost die but don't. It's a strange dichotomy between why me and why me. So this was a very – Three people. I don't know. I'm assuming family. But this is a big deal, apparently. Epiglottitis is a big deal. Had to go to emergency surgery. Had to be sold to the face of epiglottitis. Awareness. Yeah. Ooh. That's right. That's a good paid gig, yeah. Can you catch it? It's a bacterial infection. Somebody sneezes on you. Yeah. I looked it up. Good luck. What's it called again? Epiglottitis. See. Or epiglottitis. You've got to figure something out because when you rattle that can, I'll tell you, Dan, you've done this. You do these charity events, you know, charity car race, charity whatever, charity softball game or whatever. And they do that thing where they go, if you win, we're going to cut a check for $10,000 to charity of your choice. And every time I go, okay, and my wife's charity is the Schizophrenia Foundation, but when they give you the paperwork, I'm like, let's see, Schizo, S, no, P, no, S, P, no, S, K, S, K, no, S, C, E, Schip, oh. Catholic Big Brothers, thank you. Do you know how much money Catholic Big Brothers has got out of me just because I couldn't smell schizophrenia? You've got to get some initials going with this now. We're not going to raise squat. BP. You've got to be able to spell it. That's right. Yeah, big deal. She's a little bit of a hypochondriac. Good thing. She went to the doctor. And this is good. This is why. Yeah, because most people we know with a sore throat don't go to Cedars. Yeah, right. But it's good. She's got a little of that wiring. Yeah, because of their life. To save their life. Absolutely. Deadspin reports that Jon Jones will miss this weekend's UFC 200, where he was supposed to fight a rematch against Daniel, is it Cormier? Yes. Okay, I want to make sure I'm saying that right. In the main event for a doping violation. The headliner of one of the UFC's biggest cards of all time is now gone after he apparently failed a test three weeks ago. Ariel Helwani of MMA Fighting reports that Brock Lesnar's fight with Mark Hunt will now be the main event, unless Dana White can find someone to fight Cormier. Oh, we have a late rumor on that. Oh, breaking news. Danny Trejo? Also coming from Ariel Helwani, they're saying Anderson Silva versus Cormier. Oh. Anderson Silva. Wow. That's interesting. Very. Very. Yeah. Yeah, so, you know, it's obviously John Jones is one of the most gifted athletes on the planet. And if you don't believe him, ask his brothers who are in the NFL. And I don't know if it just comes too easily. If somehow something comes too easily, you just can't stop self-destructing. But, I mean, it's a weird thing that this guy's had like one fight in two years. He's still considered the all-time greatest pound-for-pounder, one of the most potentially greatest pound-for-pound guys in the world. He's literally in a sport where many fights come down to a coin toss, and where guys like Randy Couture, who are entering the UFC Hall of Fame, are going in at 28 and 19 or something. You can't do that in boxing. You can't lose one-third of your fights or close to half your fights and be like a Hall of Famer. I mean, Tito Ortiz, that guy's probably 18 and 15, and he's like a hall of famer. And why? Because you've got to flip a coin because anything could happen with those three-ounce gloves. Out of all that, he's really the only guy who goes, this guy doesn't get beat, can't be beat, doesn't get beat. And that's a real tall order. And it's almost like everyone is just vying for second place, but he can't stop with the self-destructive behavior. Can't stop. And you just wonder. That was way off. Tito's 18, 12, and 1. Boxing is checkers and MMA is chess. Does that sound like? No, that's wrong. Does that sound? But that's not. Obviously, in boxing, if you're 18, 12, and 1, you're journeyman tomato pan. Boxers play checkers. Floyd Mayweather plays chess. Yeah. I would argue that most of the boxers play dominoes, but it's a racial thing. We're brothers in the game, they say. We got it. We got it. It's funny. You know, boxing has evolved to its fullest with Floyd Mayweather. That's all. Yeah. It's boring. because Floyd Mayweather is so far above fighters. Fighters, he's a boxer. You watch him, it's amazing. For a boxing enthusiast, for a fighting enthusiast, it's boring as hell. Try to sell that to your Mexican brethren about the sweet science. Everyone sees a guy get his ass kicked and sell some body shots. Mexican fight fans are out of this world. But their fight, it's a fight. We love fights. Mayweather's a boxer, and he understands the art of boxing. And it's evolved. It went from bare knuckles to Gentleman Jim Corbett to Rocky Marshall. It's evolved to Mike Titus. Mike. That's an old joke. That's a classic from yesterday's show. But, yeah, no, I agree. And it is boring to watch a guy go out there and artfully ply his trade that way. Bang, bang, bang, bang, slip, bang, bang, bang, bang, hold, bang, bang, bang, bang. I mean, come on, what, 50 fights and he's been cut once and that was with a headbutt. Yeah. No, he's absolutely, look, everyone else is doing something else. And that's kind of how Jon Jones was. And Jon Jones is young. I mean, it's just, the thing that always baffles me about those guys is Jon Jones could have a career that lasted 15 years, maybe more. He could be in for huge payday after huge payday, megafight after megafight. His body will support stepping up to heavyweight. He's just a big dude. His brothers are both in the NFL. I mean, he comes from that stock. He could step up to heavyweight, go clean out that division, go back down to light heavyweight, do whatever. Paycheck after payday after payday. God knows, endorsements and whatever else. Why is there not one Jewish guy next to him who's gone, John, Uber, don't drive. Don't drive. You know what? You had too much cold medicine. Like, literally, or don't do this. Shouldn't there just be one guy with horn-rimmed glasses who's assigned to that dude that goes like, But look, we've got a choice over the next decade. You can make $200 million or you can do some prison time. That's what they're dealing with with Johnny Manziel. Yeah. But Johnny Manziel does not have physically what it takes to get those paydays at the next level. Look at Mayweather's people. Yeah. Yeah. You're talking about... His uncle? Yeah. Oh, I love his uncle. No, that's a trainer. That's not the people dealing with the money. That's not the people dealing with the checks, believe me. All right. Where were we? Castrol Edge. Yeah, man. Weeks I've been telling you about Castrol Edge. Full synthetic. Castrol Edge, a full synthetic motor oil, three times better. Three times better against viscosity breakdown, as per the industry standard, than Mobile One. So not many folks can say that. And I've got a couple of cool films. Speaking of films out there, Casserold Edge, they challenged a couple of pro drivers, pushed the boundaries of performance. They're in an Aston Martin Vulcan and a Koenigsegg. You don't see a lot of those around Silmar, the San Fernando Valley. They did it in a simulator, and then they actually took the car on the track, and then they raced themselves on the simulator and physically at the famous Iscari racetrack. So check that out. And what you should do is you should go to Castrol USA and go to their YouTube channel and check that out. And next time we do an oil change, get some Castrol Edge. Titanium Strong for maximum engine performance. All right, one more. All right. Well, Fox News chairman and CEO Roger Ailes has responded to a sexual harassment lawsuit filed by former anchor Gretchen Carlson. Carlson claims in the suit that Ailes made unwanted sexual advances and eventually fired her for complaining about her treatment. Ailes released a statement denying the accusation, claiming the suit is merely retaliation for being terminated. Carlson's lawsuit, which only names Ailes as a defendant, also details allegations of hostile work environment created by her former Fox & Friends co-host Steve Doocy. Let me see a picture. I have a little video for you. Oh, okay. Here's how guys roll. They're like, what happened? He's sexually harassed his whatever. He's sleeping with his nanny. Huh. Let me see a picture of the nanny. And then we go, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, we go. Oh, we go. No way. Come on. No way. The only guy to ever defy us has been Schwarzenegger. That was the only time I was tripped up. Let me see a picture of the nanny. Oh, no. Get out of here. In the pirate outfit? No way. No way. Schwarzenegger's doing a lot better. No, I'm sorry. He didn't do that. He's the only guy that's ever crossed. But it wasn't, like, it wasn't a babysitter or the nanny. It was Nana. Yeah. There's a big difference in doing Nana and doing, like, the nanny or the babysitter. There's a big difference. Nana is like Grandma. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's the only time. Nana. Look at her. He threw us some sort of cultural Bavarian curve or something, you know. We were just not ready for that as Americans. Normally, we've got a pretty good idea of what's going on. So I need to see a picture of this. She's a lovely-looking lady. We'll do her, man. All right. Hi, I'm good. I could see it. By the way, we do the same thing with Florida school teachers. She had sex with five of her students. Oh, my God. Oh. Sweet. Yeah. It's so sad that you could just swap out a nine for a four and a half and also a two-story. Forgive us, Lord. Forgive us. Forgive us for these thoughts. It's sad that Dan's having us thought. Well, according to the court documents, Ailes' response to the complaint was that Carlson needed to learn to get along with the boys. So here's a super cut that somebody put together. Here's just a few seconds of it with Doocy interacting with Gretchen on the air. Gorgeous. Gorgeous. Learn her today. Beautiful dress. You look wonderful. Gretchen, you look wonderful. Gretchen's a very, very beautiful dress. They have a great color. In summary, Gretchen's beautiful. I look beautiful. You look beautiful. Well, you look fabulous, too. Brian, can you tell Gretchen she is definitely winning today? She looks amazing. Wow. And no, it's not because Fox & Friends is too hot. But Gretchen is really too hot. Blame her. And skirts. Gretchen, I guess what you're wearing right now, the skirt might cause some problems. It would not be advisable for the Fox & Friends. Gretchen is going to ride the mechanical mole live from our snowy plaza. And a lot of viewers are concerned that I'm going to have the skirt on when I do it. I'm not sure, but concerned. I was just thinking it would have looked better if she did them with the skirt. By the way, if you showed this to somebody from any other period, instead of this crazy period we're living in, they'd look at it and go, what did we just look at? Some guy complimented a co-worker? Was that supposed to be indicting? Saying you look good? Yeah, sort of putting a spotlight on her. Not about her work, not about what she's doing, but about the skirt. That's a zero, Gina. It's a zero. You've got to know that. This is a different time. I know, but this is like a completely different time. This is some sort of exhibit, eh? Yeah, I don't think it's hurtful or offensive, but it does undercut her as a journalist. Well, next time a co-worker tells me I'm pretty, I'll let you know. I have to tell you this. My daughter, because it's a younger time and it's a different time, because every time a waitress would say to me, will there be anything else? I always say, give me a kiss. Just as a joke. And my daughter slapped me, right? I said, what's wrong? I said, it's a joke. She said, Dad, that's a joke to you, your age. It's sexual harassment to anybody her age. Also, she only knows you as the guy who rapes people on the past. There's a context here, Danny. She just saw her on air last night and only knows you as the guy who's a serial rapist on a prison plane. But most waitresses just kind of laugh and give me a hug or something. Well, here's what I'm saying. It's a different time. It's really a different time. Of course. What I'm saying is this. Anybody who works with anybody can put a montage together. We could have a nice montage if you ever. I forced you to look at my ass one time. ...prongful termination. We could put together a great... We could do a great one. Right here we go, yeah. Sexually harassing. We could probably make the cut. Except for this would be 12 hours, so we'd have to whittle it down to three minutes. But we could put together a montage where it seemed like I was sexually harassing you. And by the way, we could do one where it seemed like you were sexually harassing me. Very possible. And we might even find... Somebody sexually harassed me. We could probably put together... Please get back to the hooker I killed. We can do it right now. We probably put together 15, 20 seconds of Brian agreeing with me. I don't know. We have to really go through the archives. But the point is we could make anything look like anything if we wanted to do that. I'm not saying they didn't do it. I'm just saying a montage of them saying you look great or that's a good-looking skirt or you look great. It's almost, I don't want to be in this place where we take compliments slash greetings slash openings and turn them into something nefarious. And I don't. Like a drama. And it has negative ramifications because most women enjoy or at least find it complimentary to have people say, you look good today, or that's a nice dress on you, or have you lost weight, or you got tan, or, you know, The way we're wired is guys don't care as much about the physicality compliment. We prefer that you laugh at our stupid jokes, probably. But women, as per their wiring, do take it as a compliment when someone tells them they're looking good. Now, I can't stop the part where you feel threatened because you're a waitress and Danny's pulled into your booth. But what I'm saying is if I tell my wife she looks good, she likes that. Right. So they're going to be cut back a lot on the workplace compliments because of that. Because you can always say, hey, you look really good, or you look really good. It's like a way to say that. You got that look in your eye. That scares them. Yeah. All right. Anyway, let's bring it home. You got it. I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news. Hey, what happened to the hooker? Who's talking about the hooker? If you can read this, the bitch fell off. I'm going to make the gun. Oh, Doug. It's a Harley shirt. Ah, Ranker. Ranker podcast. Yes, we love these guys, man. Recently they had Chris Shifflett on there from the Foo Fighters. We know him from Irvine. We had him up on stage. Anyway, he'll tell you what it's like wearing, he was there when Dave Grohl fell off the stage and shattered everything. Also, he'll give you a little hint about when the Foo Fighters are getting back in studio. You can check it all out. PodcastOne.com. Download the free mobile app, podcastone.com. Us, Vegas, tonight, Treasure Island, UFC. Oh, no better time to talk to Frank Mir, UFC legend, Frank Mir. Oh, yeah, he's fought Hunt and Brock Lesnar. That's right. He submitted Brock Lesnar. I have a huge windbreaker made with that on it. I submitted. You look at Brock Lesnar and you go, yep. That guy? Yeah, we rolled around in our underpants. What happened? He tapped out. Wow. He got him in like a foot bar or something. Like he gave Brock Lesnar a crazy thing. He didn't knock him out. He didn't choke him out. He got him in a weird foot bar. Like it wasn't the Ronda Rousey arm bar thing. It was a leg foot thing. Yeah. Oh, man. Brock must have been pissed. What did he get? What did he get, Brock? Like, what? Believe it was. Get Nick. Anyway. Knee bar. A knee bar. That sounds painful. You don't hear about the knee bars that much. But the thing about, you look at Brock Lesnar, like, first thing you got to do is knock him down. And the second thing you got to do is get in position. And I just can't imagine that. Anyway, that's tonight. And Chris Waxamana is going to be opening for us. Live shows everywhere. So check that out. Also, of course, Social Security. you go to Indiegogo.com you search social security and let's get Danny's 256 movie right on made shall we so until next time it's Adam for Danny and Craig and Gina and Bald Sam thank you thank you mahala this is the first time me and my husband can go to dinner together alright that was Adam Kulishow 1854 That does it for these cool classics. Make sure to tune in tomorrow for an all-new installment. Until then, mahalo, and get it on. I'm done. Stream now. Pay never.