C03 - Ep. 34 - From On Hyra - Return of the Bling

Welcome to Inside the Art House, the go-to destination for cinephiles and the number one place for art house cinema and filmmaker conversations. Each week, today's most visionary filmmakers pull back their curtain on the art of cinema, sharing how stories are made and why they matter. Hosted by Greg Lemley of the legendary Lemley Theaters, a family that shaped the movie business for over a century, and Raphael Sparge, actor and award-winning director. Together, they explore the creative process, the struggles, and the triumphs behind the camera, and the bold ideas shaping film today. From indie debuts, documentaries, to international art house cinema, Inside the Art House dives deep into a world where passion meets craft and where the love of film lives loud. Inside the Art House, conversations with today's most visionary filmmakers. Listen or watch wherever you get your podcasts. Zippity-doo-dah, all you Zanka. Clink your way into the stinky dragon and ingest our latest infusion, Absorb Matter of Fact. It's a mixture of metallo milk, slam-a-meal tea leaves, cleaning clothes, release energy extract, and top with a dismantling of cinnamon. One absorption of this kinetic cup and you'll be kicking brass in no time. Previously, our adventurers were drenched in dredges but quickly closed in on a clear path to the dredged den. They overheard an ominous exchange between Infernus and a druidic dredge about the pursuit of the Pathfinder. Finally, B-team backed up a resurrection ritual into reverse and are now putting their heads together with Neo. So round up a refreshment and let's resume this rink recollection. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales of the Stinky Dragon. I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Cerola, and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. Yay! I have an arrow. What happened to the Micro Machines, guys? He's still alive? What's he up to? Oh, yeah. Who? He's also the Federal Express guy. He did the Federal Express commercials way back in the day, yeah. I feel like I just woke up in the middle of history class. What are we talking? What is Micro Machines? Micro Machines guy? What was the arrow? Who? Do you all not know Micro Machines? Micro Machines. I'm on Google. Micro Machines. Are we that old? Are we Micah machines old? Anyway, thanks for listening, everyone. Micah knows what Micah machines are, and he's young. I'm going to go in the corner and decay to a pile of dust and bones. Micah writes, he knows Micah machines. It's the Matt Damon saving Private Ryan mean right now. Listen, we're so old, the whole gist of these toys was that they were small cars. It was tiny. That's it. They were little Hot Wheels, but they were small. Yeah, like Hot Wheels, but tiny. and the guy in the commercial would talk real fast. That's it. That's all. Looks like Mario. Today I learned. Anyway, this week's our question is, why is Gus so old and will he be dying soon? Oh, yes, he will be. It's me, Tove. I mean, the average human being lives to about, I don't know, 78, 79 years old and doing the math on how much he got left. You're telling me not to get a mortgage, Doug. You're telling me do not get a new mortgage. Let's just say you're past your midlife crisis. That's for sure. All right. Everyone, this week's error question is, do you think your parents are proud of you? Why or why not? And that was submitted by Gunther Bootkiss Windbreaker. Everyone go ahead and roll a D20. Let's see how this shakes out. Roll in. Seven. Twelve. Oh, 12, I get it. Nice. Oh, 12. 12's got it. Yeah. Oh, 18. Six. So 18, 12, 7, 6 sounds like the order we are going in. Do you think your parents are proud of you? Why or why not? 18. What was that? Doug, take it away. That was Doug. It's me, Barbara Dunkelman, playing Doug Boone, the artificer bugbear. And, you know, unfortunately, Gustavo, the answer was no. I'm pretty confident my parents are not proud of me. You know, we were raised to be pretty vicious, you know, going into battle, fending for ourselves. And Doug was never really a violent guy. And so I never really made my parents proud in that sense. But, you know, maybe maybe someday they'll come around when they realize, like, what I do is also important and also impressive and needed in society. But until then, yeah, it's a there's also a lot of other things that happen that I don't think they'll ever be able to forgive me for. So not a great start to the episode here. Really? Yeah, this is I'm glad you rolled that 18, Doug. It's really kicking things off on a high note. That's the tone of the episode. Tugging at my collar here. Is the toilet seat left open? Do you keep lights on at night? What did you do to your father? The fridge was left open, yeah. Oh, unforgivable. Yeah, I used to keep the AC at 73. There's a little too much power being used. No, I'm kidding. All right. A dark potent of things to come. Potent. Potent, not potent. Amuse-bouche. I'm a dumb-dumb using the wrong word. Amuse-bouche. I don't think the amuse-bouche joke is a stinky dragon joke. I think it's our business joke. It will become a sneaky dragon joke now that we explain it. John used the word amuse-bouche in a meeting, and then Blaine could not stop using amuse-bouche in a meeting. Because he'd never heard of it before. If I was a Pokemon, my new name would have been amuse-bouche, because that's all I could say for the rest of the day was amuse-bouche, amuse-bouche. Is that our new blurble-garble for this campaign? Amuse-bouche, welcome to canon. The greatest present in the world I could get as a 10- or 11-year-old would be an amuse-bouche of micromachines. It would be like a... they are they're like a little taste yeah uh the hot wheel Thomas Edison used to visit little Gus in his house it's like a warm wheel you would have liked it Blaine I think for my 10th birthday my parents rented Predator and uh like all my friends came over and we watched Predator on VHS uh it was awesome best birthday ever everyone my two friends who showed up we talked about that for like the remainder we still talk about it how awesome it was anyway 12 who had a 12 John oh That was John. Yeah, it's John. Hi, I'm John. And I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow warlock drag queen mother. And not to step on what is clearly a dramatic part of Doug's story and what makes Doug Doug. I don't I feel bad following up with that by saying, yes, I do know my my parents are proud of me. Well, look at you. That's why I didn't want to bring it up. Because it just felt like, look at me. I'm Natty Wonder. My mamas love me. When I walked out of the door to head to the Army, they literally said, we are proud of you, Natty Wonder. My life's perfect. It's not a competition. I'm happy for you, Natty. And I make sure to pass that on and tell Giggy anytime I can. I'm so proud of him. Good parent. So, yeah, there's nothing funny there either. It's just, Mike, I got proud parents. all right it's good to see that we have the yin and the yang here the opposing i think i'm the only yang i think there's gonna be a lot of yins in this group if i know their stories all right who's next i think next was a 12 am i right that's right hello i'm blaine gibson and i play 12 you who it's me the male thomatech barbarian level six and i have to ask a clarifying arrow i'm just going to shoot a little dart fact at you yeah which which parent are we referring to are we talking about ironclad or um the other one maybe the one you can remember the name bjorn bjorn bjorn i like that he had the question ready but not the details he's like i'm gonna ask that but i remember i'm not gonna bother look up the specifics where do we go with both because the question says plural okay so i think you can dive into both of those the reason i didn't know Bjorn's name is because I called him dad. That's why. Good save. I know Bjorn would be so proud of me. I mean, I cooked fish and I took on his legacy and carried his skin on cool adventures and wore him all around and everybody loves Bjorn. They see that big orc guy and they go, that's a good man right there. If you could see the smile on his face. Oh, wait. Wow. Wow. So yes to Bjorn. And for Ironclad, I couldn't give two toots. You know, I think, I don't know, like, I'm sure he's disappointed that I'm not his, like, main guy anymore. But I'm sure he's also, like, happy because I'm out there, like, rebelling against him. And he's all like, yes, oh, I am a Sith Lord. Yes, I kill you. You kill me so much fun. Toll thinks he's the main guy, kind of main character complex going on here. That's good to know. Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me I'm wrong. I would have to ask Ironclad. Let's get him in. It's your story. Special guest, you're all Ironclad. Let's ask you in. He's here. Bjorn will have things to say to this. They're coming out of his mouth right now. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right. Thanks, Blake. And last up, the genesis of the question, Gunther. Yes, I am a level six fighter. and i will say this when my parents died they were very proud of me oh why do you say it like that gunther but when they were alive they were not proud of you no no no only when they died they when yes they were proud of me when they were alive and they were proud of me when they died if they were alive now i do not think they would be proud i'm asking because you state that tragic event on an up syllable. When my parents died, they were proud of me. Like, what did they go? Are you, Gunther, do we need to talk? Did you kill me, parents? That's kind of what it sounded like. They were proud of how I killed them is what it sounded like. No, I did not. I did not kill them. That was John talking. Gunther didn't hear that, okay? Oh. I was just saying, I think it, I, when I think back to if they were proud of me in that moment That makes me feel happy that they were proud of me. But it makes me sad that if they were here now, they may not be. Unrelated question. How many toes do you have, Gunther? Enough. Why? Do you have six or 11? Got my eye on you. Six or 11? I have the proper number of toes. Okay, okay. Six. Got it. It's evading the question. No, that would be very confusing. We all have six toes and then another four. So technically, you're correct. Oh. Oh, Doug with the or Barbara with the technically correct. That's where my typecast comes in. The best kind of correct. Exactly. Does Tov have toes? Yeah, but I mean, let me see. Well, I have you have little little little digits that are like little digital digital mechanical digits. Yeah, like my Thaumatech foot is toes. But, you know, it's like Bjorn's skin is kind of like loose socks sometimes or gloves. when you're putting them on and then the toe socks and then one slips into the other one. So it can be a little like my pinky toe might be flopping around because one of my Thaumatec bones isn't in it. Wait, does that happen to you, Blaine? It's the worst. You've worn toe socks, right? Yeah. Yeah. I hate toe socks. Oh, toe socks as in like, okay, now I get it. Yeah. No, I've not worn toe socks. Scott, Sarah, for you, did you ever wear those naked footwear like the toe shoes? Oh, no, no. Okay. Okay. those give me the heebie-jeebies for some reason just thinking about it like my toes being separated didn't James wear those for working out? yes probably voice of Bjorn your father you remember alright thanks everyone appreciate the insight let's never speak of toe shoes again what an amuse-bouche to this episode so stupid you know my toes are actually called Micro Machines. It's good. That's the stinger for the end of the episode. Okay. Whenever I get my first inspiration dice, it goes directly to Blaine for that one. Yeah, the Gretches begin trying to swarm you and grapple you, but you use your might to push them away and shove them to the ground. And make me a perception check, Cole. Okay. Sorry it took me that long to find where the perception is. It's always the one that's hidden away. That's a 17. It's hidden in that alphabetical order of your text. It's alphabetical? Yes. Oh, my God. Guys, did you know? What were you going to tell me? Oh, my God. That's incredible. This is our job. Incredible. As you shove the dredges to the ground, something catches your eye in the western pile of rocks by the pool. A glinting blue-gray metal. It's not just a piece of metal, though. It looks like a head. Tolve, you look down and see what appears to be the head of Neo amongst some of the rubble here. Dear brother, how are you? Make me a perception check. Oh, my God. I hope he's not dead. Please don't be dead, Neo. Speak to me, Neo. 13. 13. The head has definitely seen better days. it looks like it's been mangled a little bit and beaten up, and it seems like it's almost inert. There's barely any, I don't want to say life, but barely any power flickering behind it. Oh, dear. Could I take a look at it and maybe try to tinker with it to get it to function? I'm going to need Doug's catchphrase before you do this, Barbara Duncombe. I can figure it out, guys. There we go. Brings me life. I can figure Neil out. Tov would be very concerned. and would be like, of course, anything, anything. Please help if I need to lend my parts. C-3PO. Just to continue setting the scene, Doug, absolutely you can do that. But just to continue setting the scene, there are additionally some remaining dretches in the room that were not killed as part of combat. Yeah, so just setting that. So you all aren't entirely alone. We're not in combat, but there are just these, what were enemies a little while ago, still mingling about the room. Are Dretches intelligent? Like, can they speak? I think they were described as green gorillas. I don't know if they said anything before. They did not. However, they can speak. They do not speak common. And they are very, yeah, like Barbara said, they're described as greenish gorilla-like Undarians. They're covered in fetid pustules and boils with gnarly curled claws and fangs. And they're armored with plates of blue-gray metal. And as you look around at them, they all raise their hands as if in surrender. Would you say It Speaks? Oh, oh. It Speaks! Sorry, it's a Stinky Dragon Adventures reference. Oh! I was like, what is that? That sounds familiar. I made that show and I was like, whoo! Gus's German character is going, It Speaks! I got Stinky Dragon Adventures and my terrible German accent over at StinkyDragonPod.com. Impeccable German accent. Impeccable. I'm like Michael Fassbender in Inglourious Bastards. I grew up on a mountain. That's why my German accent sounds a little different and a little weird than what you would expect. Yeah, it's a little unusual. So they're putting their hands up in surrender, you said? They're just raising their hands and looking around nervously. They don't speak common. Correct. Do we know what they speak? Probably a bizzle. Okay, Gunther speaks a bizzle. So let me deal with Doug first because Doug or Barbara slash Doug said they wanted to go try to take a look at Neo's head. Yes, please. Yeah, what do you do for that as an artificer? Do you have like a tinkering ability or? Doug goes up and starts singing. What's in your head? In your head. Zombie. I have, let's see. Had to finish it. Barbara actually has to sing the entire song of Zombie if someone brings it up. Listen. You have to get to the title. Yeah, yeah. I have my quirks and that's one of them. I love that. Learning thing. I do have, I believe, tools. You have the manual. I feel like I would just kind of open him up in the back to see the wiring or maybe any sort of like electrical parts and maybe use my history or intelligence to tinker. I do have Tinker's tools as well. Yeah, you have Tinker's tools. And I will say just to kind of describe to the rest of the party in the audience, the artificer has some abilities that don't necessarily apply here. But I can see like having some overlap, right? Like you have repair, which you would use on your defender. Yes. You also have magical tinkering, which is like you use that to augment abilities. And you've used that in this campaign as well. And I feel like these aren't explicitly something you would use in this scenario, but we'll modify. We'll say, you know, you have knowledge of the way these things work and you're able to kind of figure it out, so to say. I can figure it out. Thank you, guys. So why don't you make me, what kind of check should we call this? Let's call this a survival. No, no, no. Make a... It's not Arcana, but I feel like it would be like that. Like intelligence? Like history? Yeah, make an Arcana check just because it is intelligence-based, and I feel like that's what we're going for, and it is kind of like a magic technology. It is magic technology. That's true. God. Ten. Do you want to get an inspiration die? Would that help? Maybe. Yeah, do it. I give Barb my inspiration die. All right. Okay. Arcana, once again. Yemma, yemma. Not 20 for a 24. It's fixed. You look at it and you know that this kind of technology that appears to be powering this head is radically different than any technology you've worked with. Not only saying that it's more advanced, but it's just an entirely different foundation of technology. Even the basics that you would expect are radically different when you pop open Neo's head. You are able to confirm that it is not, for lack of a better word, dead. there is still power in it it just needs to be reattached to the rest of its accessories in order to regain function okay all right well good news tov your sibling here is not dead i just gotta maybe reattach him maybe to his body there might be other pieces missing but we could we could try that first and see if that works well i see that on these uh like undarian fools these dretches that they're wearing blue armor that could be like pieces of my brothers. So like maybe we should command them to take him off. We could gather up all of the pieces and reassemble him. Yeah, and they seem to not really like want to fight us. So maybe we could just ask nicely. Down through, please give us your armor. Do you say it in common? Abyssal. Abyssal. What does that sound like? Oh. You just put something up there at the end there. Are you down with the sickness? That was funny. Hey, Gus, you're funny. Stop. Gus pulls out his rapier, points it at the dretches, mutters in abyssal at them, and they begin nervously removing their pieces of metallic armor and placing it at their feet. As they're doing that, you're holding the rod of the fire opal of fireballs. It seems like the fire opal at the end of the rod just kind of comes loose and falls off of the rod. Uh-oh. And skitters to the floor. It begins rolling around. I try to catch it. Don't want to get it away. Bumble. Yeah, make a dexterity. We'll call it a saving throw. Cool. Perfect, because I have advantage on this. That's a 19 and a 6. 19. Woo! Okay. Yeah, it falls off of the rod, but before it's able to hit the ground, you do that really cool thing. normally no one yeah no one's watching no one saw it of course so opal falls off and almost hits the ground but you reach down and catch it just in time and you look around excitedly to see if anyone noticed but doug and gunther are looking at the dretches natty's eyeing the pool with giggy and nobody saw that really cool thing you just did the other day i threw my keys at eric bedore and he caught them in an impossible catch And it was like five minutes later and I was like I should tell him that was really cool Because no one ever sees that cool stuff No one ever sees it, yep. And now everyone knows because you told the podcast. Eric is a hero, guys. Everyone always sees when you trip on something dumb or when you bang your head on a door or something. No one ever sees the cool things. So you're able to catch the fire opal before it hits the ground. And while you're holding it, it burns super hot. I see. And you take a little bit of damage. Okay. You catch it. It's much like in Red is a Lost Ark, picking up the staff headpiece. It starts burning at your hands, singeing Bjorn's flesh a little bit, doing seven points of fire damage. Is that raging? You probably were from the combat. You were raging, yeah. But does that fire damage, does that affect it? I thought it's only like piercing damage. Oh, yeah. Good call. He thinks barb. Golly. That's the Council of Barbarians. Oh, yes, it's me. Council of Barbarians here to guide you straight. He's right. He says it's helpful. You should only be here when it is a boon to me. I'm sorry. It is a boon. There he's right there. No. Get out of here. I don't know anything about being a barbellion, shall we, guys? I'm getting out of here. Bye-bye. Bye. So the dredges are removing their pieces of metal and laying them at their feet. And the fire roll pole falls off, but you catch it, Toll, and it begins burning your hand a little bit. It's a little bit of an ouchie. And as you're holding it, looking at it, you hear, like, a gurgling sound. A blurbable gurgling sound? Blurbable gurgling sound. Like from the gym or from, like, the goo oil stuff? No, I'll tell you what. Toll and Natty make me perception checks. Okay. Ooh! 17. 13. Nice, nice, nice. Both of you noticed that the pool of boiling oil isn't as boiling as rapidly as it was before. It kind of quiets to a simmer, and the level begins lowering in the pool. And you see it emptying out via the drain in the northern end of the room. Uh-oh. That's probably good, though. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Is the horn still there? What a great question. No, it's not. The horn is still there, and the level of the pool slowly recedes and goes down, exposing more of the head and the body attached to the horn. Tove, Tove, put the opal back on the stick. I wouldn't rush to do that. I want to see if I could click it back in Lego style. Come on. Make a... I'll give you the choice. Make a strength or dexterity check on that. I'm feeling strong today. Strength. Six. Oh, God. Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi. Uh, he cracks it in half. Oh, inspiration died. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Ha ha. I rolled it again and I get a 13. 13. Okay. Perfect. It's better. That's exactly what I needed, I think. Yeah. You managed to smash the fire opal back onto the top of the rod. It's not the prettiest. It looks like maybe you broke it a little bit. It's a little splintered, but it's holding. And you look at it, admiring your work, very proud of yourself. And then you smell something. Uh, who did it? It's not giggy. Is something on fire? Uh, Tolshan, maybe? A little bit? Is it the staff? You look down and you realize that the dredged druid has spontaneously combusted. His body is laying there now burning. This room is weird. Yeah, I gotta stomp him out. It's okay, I shall protect you. Somewhere, a volunteer firefighter crosses his arms and nods approvingly. You're doing it. You're starting to believe. Yeah, you begin trying to put out the fire on the body of the dredged druid. But, Natty, you're focused on the horn and the rest of the being that is being exposed in the pool. And out from the pool clambers a very haggard-looking, oily, and deformed version of the Baron. With one horn atop her head. She looks around, stumbles seemingly in a daze, then suddenly lights on fire and disappears. Oh, perfect. That's how she died the first time. and that definitely wasn't like an was it an illusion that we were seeing or because i know we tried to touch the horn earlier you grabbed the horn doug yeah and it was like i felt it right you got the bull by the horns yeah you you pulled on it and you saw part of the head asked the dretches did that just happen because the summoning did not complete yeah failure success yeah also you got you got to give it to us in in infernal roughly translated gunther they say i don't know that was his job and point at the body that is being stomped out by tolls i'm just like both feet on it now jumping on it like trampoline So, to recap what just happened. The fire opal fell off of the stick. So it detached from its original place. When that happened, the oil, it stopped bubbling and it started to lower. You then put the opal back on the stick. The druid dredge, he caught on fire. and the oil kept going down and out comes you called it the baroness a deformed baron or baron like a shambling nearly dead kind of oily and deformed version of the baron okay maybe i put the battery in wrong i put plus to plus and minus to minus and now the thing that was casting it is on fire and the thing that was receiving it is not on fire i believe that this was not complete So they were trying to revive the Baron, and then because they did not, the Baron goes boom. Natty uses her shape-changing ability to don a plaid hat and a raincoat and goes to investigate the dead Baron's body. Well, it disappeared, didn't it? The dead druid dredge. Wait, where's the Baron's body? It disappeared. Oh, it disappeared. Okay, yeah. It poofed. Yeah, the Baron, or some might say the oil Baron. Yeah. spontaneously combusted and disappeared. Barbara keeps giving me, like, the one-eyed shocked wink all episode. Then instead, I want to, like, ace Ventura and get in. Is the pool empty? Pretty much, yeah. Can I get in there? No, I wouldn't recommend that, Natty. Why? Well, just in case it comes back, we don't know what triggers it, and that might be ouchie, ouchie. I mean, you do it, but I'll leave my hand here if you need to jump out and grab someone real quick, okay? Okay, yeah, let's have a buddy system. Okay. Doug, you're kind of leaning over the edge with your arm outstretched just in case Natty needs to escape, and then Natty goes down into the pool. You can just hold me by my wig, and you can just pull me up because that thing's on there solid. I would never mesh with your hair, Natty. I know better than that. Yeah, Natty gets in there and just, I don't know, tries to see, like, if there's anything to be seen in this empty oil pool. Make me an investigation check. investigation is plus one so that's 16 you poke around and look through the pool which is the pool itself is still actually very hot because it was just filled with boiling oil not that long ago but you know it's it's bearable it's not like you're going to take damage from it or anything and you look around and you see a drain where you presumably all of the liquid went out to and it looks like it connects to be a cutoff to that drain in the northern end of the room and looking around you see various make me an arcana check as well i can do that 15 you see what you presume are various or the remnants of various reagents like magical reagents bits of special wood bits of ivory bits of herbs and amongst it all you found a rather large gemstone uh peridot gemstone it looks like it's from the ring of an nfl thing no it's a character from Steven Universe, you idiot. Dummy. Wow. Hostile. I knew Blaine would back me up on that. I knew Blaine would back me up on that. I do love this Steven Universe. It's pretty hefty. You hold it in your hands, and you think it's probably worth about 500 gold pieces. Oh, wow. I know someone who needs that. Looks directly at Natty. Oh, I was going to say, like, who? John looked confused. Natty, you have no money. Yeah, but Natty doesn't care about money. Don't spend it all in one place. Natty will stow that away. I've got to write that down. 500 gold peridot. Okay, so I found stuff that just confirms we've stumbled upon a ritual. Where are we? Why are we in this building? To get the Thamite brothers and sisters. We're in Sora's sump? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, we came in here, and that druid was having a conversation with Infernus. Yes. Yes. They were saying that... They found the Pathfinder. They stormed the gate in one week. Pathfinder is near. One week to storm in what? They were storming something. The Hira? Gate to Hira? The gate. Did we hear what this dread druid was doing? What they talking to him first? Did we hear anything else? Yeah, but that had been like video that we wouldn't have heard. The last line the dread druid says is, let the ritual of resurrection begin. Okay, so this was, wait, so. Resurrection. How did we leave the barren? Does anybody remember how we left the barren? I thought she was like all like fried up because Gunther and Tov tried to melt her wooden armor with some molten lava. Yes. You don't have to draw me into this. I was just a bystander. That's right. Because you guys were puppeting the Baron's dead body. Yes. Okay. Very realistically. It's true. I was a little convinced to be fair. The acting was on point. They even had her accent down pat. yeah so we interrupted this this ritual so the resurrection didn't happen that's why i think the baron went poof yeah yeah i so likely i wonder if it was like a like they were actually like if they had remnants of the baron and then they were going to reincarnate her that way i want i want to talk to tol i want to talk to tol yes i wonder if they had like physical parts of the body that was left over, which there probably wasn't a lot, a lot of ashes, if I'm being honest. Or if they, like, can just summon a being based on its soul, you know? Like, do they have to have, like... Yeah, yeah. Do you need the ingredients of the body? Well, it's clearly this fire opal you got is imperative to this process because the druid was using it when we came in, and when you broke it, it stopped the process entirely. I think that's what happened. Yeah. What if I put Bjorn's skin in the pit and we bring back my papa? You know what? I've watched this movie called Pet Sematary. Nothing bad can happen. Nothing bad can happen. I love that pig show movie. Right, Captain Grumbles? Oh, I don't have my beep anymore. You don't have the beep. No. Say a bad word, Gus. Say a bad word. I mentioned that in our watch party this other week where we had you doing the beep sound effect for him. And I was like, oh, we just changed our equipment and Gus doesn't have the beep anymore. So he's just going to have to swear on the show. Yeah, Michael will have to beep it out. That feels really weird saying that in this recording. I think we've got some stuff we've got to figure out. Is there anything else we want to accomplish in this room before we head back to Neo's body? Why did you need these points to the head? Thaumatex. And what did you do with them? Shiny protection. Where is the rest of them? They point at the pile of metal on the ground. Can I gather all that together? Yeah. And ask the team. Any questions for these goofballs? I don't think we can get any other information out of it. They're so stupid. They didn't know, like, and the main guy, the necromancer one, Druid, is done, so. Should we check the body before we go? I mean, I stopped on it pretty good. Yeah, but maybe it has something in the pockets. Okay. Before we leave the room, I also want to check that pile of the metal and stuff like that to see if there's any parts I could tell that go with T.O. Well, that's coming with us, I think. Yeah, yeah. I just don't know how much it is, if it's, like, too much for us to carry or if it's just, like, small pieces we could take. You should be able to carry it. Okay. So just to summarize, you're looking at the body to see if it has anything. Who's doing that? I'm on top of it literally already, so I will do it. You'll do it? Yeah. And Doug, it sounds like you are collecting metal pieces. Is that correct? Sure, yeah. And Gunther is still talking to the dretches, and Natty is still in the pool or is coming out of the pool? Natty climbs out. Natty climbs out of the pool. Okay. It's hot. It's pretty hot in there. Can I ask where the fireball thing came from, if they know? We know where that came from. Where? Because it was missing from town. Yeah. My church. Oh, that's right. That's right. Sorry, sorry. You're good. They laugh. Gunther laughs like, ha, ha, ha, ha, and pokes one of them. They begin backing away. Like they're very slowly, not very sneakily, trying to just back out and leave the room. Okay. You get out of here or else and speak not of this. Hold your arm. Okay. They turn away and run away. And tell Infernus we said... Don't really tick her off. I'm sure they're going to get right on that. Okay, yeah, they turn and run and leave the room in fear. Cole, if you're taking a look at the body, make an investigation check. You got it. Use them robot eyes. Zeep, zeep, zeep. 15. Scanning, scanning. Robocop. Scanning. Scanning. It's just Cole saying that. Engaging eyes. They're watching you. Robot eyes. Do, do. You begin looking through the body, and, you know, it doesn't have much in his robes. I think it seemed like the main thing that this druid was carrying was the rod which you have. But you do find a small gemstone in one of his pockets. It's a transparent yellow-green gemstone. Seems very delicate. You're surprised it's still in one piece because it looks like it's ready to crumble to dust. I did stomp pretty hard on it. Do you want to know what kind it is? Make an arcana check. Oh, magic gemstone. Five. Okay, I'll tell you what. Tol, you've cracked me so consistently up. Why don't you make me a medicine check? Okay. 14. You think that this is some kind of medicinal aid, Toll. It's so dusty because it's intended to be crumbled and applied to an ailment. He turns it over and he sees the words Ricola. I guess I'll stow that away because I don't think we have an immediate use for it, but it does sound like important. Yeah, I'll say metagame-wise, if you crush it in your hand or like on your body or something, it clears a condition. Oh, cool. What do I call this thing? Emergency. It is the chrysobarrel of clearance. Oh. I got a chrysobarrel of damaris. Hey. Sorry, and then I have a follow-up question because I found a thing called the cube of concoctions. So while we're talking about meta stuff, do you know what that does? The cube of concoctions. Where'd you find that? When we were doing the left path, right, you know, like either way and all that. Yeah, I found it then. Oh, nice. It's described as an ice cube made of unusually colored gems. Metagame-wise, you can use this. You can place it into water, and it turns water into randomly flavored potions. Oh, cool. It's like a... Crystal light. I wonder what the purpose of that would be, like, game-wise, if anything, or just for funsies. Well, the potions would probably be potions, so he doesn't know... Well, I said flavored, so I don't know. I don't know if that has effects. If we have, like, a boss fight coming up, then I'll just, you know. Yeah. Crush one back. Roll the dice. Yeah. So, is there anything else in this room, or can we go put these robots back together? They have names. You can remember your dad's name. Don't get on me. His name is Dad. Papa. Do we figure out a way to transport that fire thing? It seems like it's adhered to the end of the rod. It's not super secure, but it's holding. Okay. All right. Let's go back to Neo and Tio. Thank you. There you go. Before that, I want to ask Gunther and Doug to make me wisdom checks. You got it. One of these things is not like the other. I only rolled a 10, so... Oh, no! I rolled a 1. Cool. A little 2, technically. Yeah. Because I got a plus 1. I'm sorry, Gus. No, no, it's fine. I'll leave it at this, okay? Doug, don't you find it weird? Don't you think maybe drains all connect to each other? Well, yeah. Like, they all meet up and go somewhere together, right? Yeah, one would presume this. And this drained out. Where else have we seen another place where this could go? But there was the drains that we crawled through back to the temple where Natty's tongue became two. Or there's also maybe the river that is full of this oil stuff. Maybe a drain there. Dio and Tio were in the drain system. Yeah, but they were in, like, a whole separate room, right? They weren't like in a pool, correct? They were out. It was a sauna drain. I know that. That's what we came through. Yeah. They were out by the riverbank, right? Yeah, they were at a riverbank. Yeah, that was, we saw the blue-gray metal in the sauna drain, and that's what led us to Neo and Tio. I guess what would be the purpose of following where this drained? You don't have to. Is it large enough that a person could follow the drain? Also, did the body of the Baron disappear as in like poof, or like it actually went through the drain? Yeah, poof. Oh, poof. Okay. Like as in a strong toilet or it just ceased to be? What? I don't know. Were we flushing it? Yeah, you know there's some toilets where it's like, and it sounds like an explosion went off. Yeah, put pneumatic system. Yeah, like that. Sucks everything in the room in. No, the body just disappeared. Oh, okay. Yeah, ignited in flame and then just kind of vanished. Okay. Yeah, I forget who asked, but yeah, you think you all could fit in the drink. All right. All of us? It's pretty big, yeah. Well, maybe Natty, maybe it's something going there by going in there. Let's go. Let's check it out. Maybe we should just follow the drain. Yeah. Let's-a go. Oh, gosh. Blah, blah, blah. I'm just saying, if something hot touches this fur, I'm going to ignite like a fireball. What's your marching order going in here? I'll go first. I'll go last. I'll go third. Second. So Natty told Gunther Doug, you all take a look at the drain, And, you know, after some back and forth, after some discussion, you decide to head on in. Natty, make me, since you're at the front, why don't you make me a perception check? Happy to. 17 plus 3. 30-20. 30-20. You lead the party through the tunnel, which seems to, or I should say the drain, which bends left and right occasionally, kind of winds around, has smaller drains connect up to it that are piping in water and oil and various other foul-smelling liquids. and eventually you exit the drain at the riverbank, not too far upstream from where you encountered Neo and Tio. Oh, okay. Shortcut. Yeah. That's much easier. If you went back the other way, I was going to ask you which opposite directions left-right you went in order to get in here to find your way out. That would have gone so well, Gus. I'm so sad you didn't get to see that opportunity. Otherwise, then we would have had to play the card game all over again. Oh, God. All new visitors. All new runners. Zatbana. Get ready for more wonders. Bad Zona, the quacks. Could I take the head of Neo and try to attach it to the body that I assume is still in here? Yeah. You all saunter on over to where... Natty runs. Natty runs fastest she's ever ran in her life. Natty runs. Natty runder. Natty Naruto runs to be the first to get up to Neo and Teo. You walk up and Teo, of course, spies you first. Oh, you're back. and, Doug, I presume you take Neo's head and begin trying to tinker and help it. Neo's hands seem to be getting in your way as you're trying to reattach his head. Okay, listen, help me help you, okay, buddy? I'm trying to get this back on, and if your hands keep getting in the way, some finger might accidentally get in there or something like that, and you don't want that stuck between your neck and your head. Is that a threat? Polv would come in to like calm him down and hold his hands through the process Oh that very that very nice take inspiration dive link oh your brother is here with you he holding your hand new data gus likes genuine moments of sincerity new data point your lord dropped okay yeah so you're working on uh on neo and reattaching neo's head gunther and natty what do you want to want to do gigi has grabbed uh Tio's head. Who's the other head? The other one's Tio. Tio is just a head that is missing a body. Giggy has grabbed Tio's head and is rolling it back and forth between Natty and him. Be respectful. Don't do that. That's my brother. He's playing with your brother. It's his uncle. Yeah, not in a good way. No. I'm going to be sick. okay giggy put the head down don't don't act like i'm the crazy one roll me a four-sided die john good lord here we go classic giggy moment giggy licks the head giggy eats the head giggy giggy poops on the head love all the ideas thank you Four. Four. Gigi somewhat dejectedly puts the head down, but he doesn't know what it is. He puts it down upside down, so Tio's head is now standing upside down on the riverbank. Very good, Gigi. Very respectful. Gigi, make it right. And Gigi gives him a little kiss. Doug, since you're working on Neo's head, make me... What did we say earlier? Arcana? Yeah, make an Arcana check. Arcana. Doug sounds bummed because that doesn't seem like a Doug thing. nine i mean i have a plus four to arcana it's just not my highest in terms of like my various intelligence stuff but yeah just a nine when inspiration die but that make you feel better no i mean you don't have to give that to me to have you earned that all on your own yeah but i mean this is my brother you know could to just help could to just help oh can i help what yeah why don't you make an arcana roll as well tol to assist i guess i have had to do like some form of maintenance. That's a one. Well, actually, you know what? I don't need your help, Tol. You just keep holding your brother's hand here. As he says that, one of his ears just falls off. It's like an Arnold Schwarzenegger Terminator trying to fix the Robert Patrick Terminator. Totally different platforms. Okay, yeah, it's more complicated, you know, like you saw earlier. It's a little more complicated than you're used to. It's going to take you a little a while to reverse engineer it and then try to connect it all. Like earlier you were having difficulty because you didn't have all of the connections. Now you have them all. It's just a matter of working your way through it. So it'll just take a little while to get through that. Yeah, you got it. You can figure it out. I can figure it out. While that's going on, Gunther, what did you do with all of that metal you collected? I mean, I think me and Doug had picked it up and stored it. Can we start putting it together as best we can? Yeah. I'm a little busy here with Neo. Yeah, Doug's preoccupied, but you can start trying to do that if you want, Gunther. You do have a smithing background. Okay. We'll say it's like trying to fit together a complicated jigsaw puzzle. So why don't you make me... Roll a d20 and add your proficiency modifier. If Gunther reveals that he made it back in his own image so it's just a frog-sized robot. That would be awesome. That's not great. 7 plus proficiency. So 10. Not the best, but not terrible. You're making slow progress trying to put it all together. T.O. chimes in every now and then, seeing what you're doing, giving advice on how things fit together and where things go. It's like Chewbacca putting back together C-3PO backwards. It is. There's just nonstop Star Wars references here. These weren't your favorite siblings, right? If we don't get these ones right, there's ones that are more important. I don't love all of my siblings equally. Not numerically. Come on. No. Doug, after several minutes of wiring together Neo's head onto the body, there's like a large spark, and then something seems to change, and Neo's head pops to life. But he's only speaking in Spanish. Ay, Dios mio. No. Is this working? He gives a little, like, knock, make sure it's, like, on there stably. Oh, yeah. This seems to be working now. Neo, how do you feel? I felt better, brother. It's unusual down here. It's good to see you. I'm so glad that you're back. And thank you so much, Doug, for fixing my brother. I give them both a hug. Ooh, yeah. Wow, my first hug. It's not your first hug. Don't get out of here. From Toll, Fitchy, right? Definitely. No, I had to resolve something. it was getting tense and i had to hug it out i remember that because i said yeah i will not take no for an answer we've done we've done a group hug i know that my first hug of the day there you go what happened to you and tio i mean was it the uh i guess it was the dretches right but what were you guys doing out in these parts you see they were fleeing from ironclad and we were rafting down the river we got away but then we were stuck in the oily river then we got ambushed by these wretches who stole all our parts we went to the town for help but the locals accused us of stealing something some kind of fire opal so then we had to camp out across the river but due to power shortages our memories began fading okay well we have your head back on your shoulders and then we're going to reassemble teo's body and we're gonna get you right his reign okay also elva says hi she didn't say hi but i ran into her and i'm assuming she would say hi oh how is she doing Is she still in one piece? She's doing great. She lost her leg, but we got it back. And then now she disguises herself as somebody else. And now she's off on another adventure. It seems like you've done the best of us, brother. Oh, that's so kind of you. I wouldn't, you know, stop. I'm getting bashful. I mean, you're mostly in one piece. The rest of us aren't. Fair. Yeah, that's true. Have you seen any of our other siblings since, you know, we all escaped ironclad? No, but we were hoping to come across more siblings. we were heading to a safe haven and we think they may have additional siblings joining there oh where a place called copia convent to the south we're supposed to be oh we know where that is we talked to the lady that was the like episode one or two i talked to them is it precess chess who told us that yeah she's from copia convent how do you know that copia convent is a safe haven it is a known place of refuge and there have been rumors saying that they will offer sanctuary that we can trust them it is a safe place oh very good okay well then if i run into more siblings on my quests then i shall send them that way oh yes could i call over to gunther and say hey do you think you found uh maybe tio's body parts in that pile of stuff they're putting back together i look over and there's four arms i think tio now has a super long tongue yes that looks good yes you've taken some uh you know some liberties with the design that's interesting i don't remember him being that short but uh oh well you may it's how old maybe younger they were what maybe they were younger and that's why they're so short i know i mean they maybe i don't i don't know i think they look good well their feet are like three times as big And they're squatting constantly. You look over and Tio's grabbing flies out of the air and shoving them into his mouth. How's it coming with Tio? It's getting there. Obviously, you don't have all of the parts, but you've fashioned together a bit of a torso and an arm. and the pieces are coming together. It's getting there. Doug, can you help him out? I'm afraid he's going to make my brother into a frog robot. Yeah, I could help here. You're doing a great job, Gunther. Let me just help you look for some pieces here, you know. Because, you know, you've got a frog body, so you might not be as familiar with, like, you know, Tove's type of anatomy or anything like that. That is true. could uh doug help assemble what he thinks the parts of tio's body missing are yeah you know you get there doug and uh you know of course like any puzzle you got to start with the corners and then work your way in and of course you know once you explain this to to gunther it all kind of clicks and you all are able to get to figure it out and you begin making rapid progress reassembling tio while that's going on neo has a an aside with you told oh hey tolf there is another rumor we heard Go on, tell me. We've heard tale that Ironclad is indeed not our creator, and that we were created by someone else. Yeah, no, I think that that sounds about right, because he doesn't seem too smart. I think he would rather, I don't know, manipulate and use existing things than create his own. He only knows destruction, so it doesn't seem like him to create. Yes, absolutely. We were hoping to find further leads to let us know who indeed created us. See. Well, maybe as we find more of our brothers and sisters, we can create, like, a network. And then, like, you know, find who our creator was and what our original purpose was. Because I don't think it was being on a ship with ironclad and, like, doing terrible things. Yes, we were hoping to find more data at Copia Convent that can lead us to an answer. Very interesting. Okay, so then other than that, once we get them assembled, then really all we need to do is return the... Fire? Yeah, the fire gem and fireballs to the town. Fire opal. Fire opal, fire gem, whatever. Opal's gems. It's type. Yeah, after several minutes, Doug and Gunther, you're able to reassemble Teal. Yeah, seems like more or less the correct orientation. Who's to say what the correct number of arms is? Yes. Listen, I've done the base at all. I've never seen him before, so... I think you guys put his right cheek on his left butt cheek. Oh, whoops. Yeah, you're right. He's going to sit crooked. It kind of looks good, though. Gives him a little sashay. I just had an idea, and this might require a retcon if you guys are open to it, but maybe as a way of keeping in connection with his brothers and sisters, Tolv can swap out a part with each one of them. it like it could be like a small thing like a little piece of plate armor or a digit or something like that a toe toe it's just so that there's like something like multicolored that way it's like it it's like our way of showing that we're back together in some form or fashion even if we're separated by great distance so it's like a like a physical representation so like i'm just trying to get your intention here so if you run into another sibling you can show proof of having met the other siblings exactly it's because because you know we're all distinct colors and configurations so it's like i've i've seen elva i've seen neo i've seen tio and then like here are the parts that represent them and then they can do the same if they run into our brothers and sisters that way we can kind of keep track of who's where i think that's really fun yeah neo and tio i know you just got your bodies back but would you be interested in just maybe swapping a single part you know i already have some elva pieces so we could you know do that as a way of just showing that, you know, we could still be together in some way. Do a little trade. Maybe something a little more, you know, significant than a little trade, but sure, yeah, what Gunther said. Do a little trade. Make a little love. Get down the night. These are my siblings. I don't know why you're singing that inappropriate song. Don't dismiss his music. It's been a while since he's gotten to listen to anything. Don't get me started on missing music. We'll have a jam session later. Maddy needs to find an instrument or something. Oh, yeah, brother. I think that's an excellent idea. What parts would you like to swap? Let me see. I guess Neo, I shall take a forefinger. And Tio, let's swap out like a collarbone. I don't know. Something like that. Sure. Yeah, you begin working at the various pieces and unattaching them, reattaching them, swapping them out. And yeah, which finger? Left index. Left index. I'm going to write this down. It's a good one. Okay. And then I would also want to do like a retcon because Elva was missing leg pieces. So maybe there are some components that we had to swap. Because we also found like another one, you know. So like maybe I can kneecap. Yeah. Kind of help that out. You could also maybe request it via Raven. She has communicated with you and you've communicated with her in previous episodes. Yeah. Cool. Now whenever I pick my finger, I will think of you, Neo. Or pick my nose. Pick my finger. We're not there yet, but we'll say once you get back to town here in a little bit, which I presume is your next stop, you'd send a raven to Elva. What would you want it to say? Elva, I found Neo and Tio. They were in disarray, but we reassembled them. As a way of keeping track of all of our siblings, we are exchanging components. Here is a piece of my leg. Please send something back in return so that I have proof of your life. Okay, which leg? Love, big slash little slash your favoritist brother. Total favoritist. Which leg or part are you saying which part specifically? What part did, let me see. I know that they were missing. Are you talking about Elva? Left leg? Missing entire left leg, yes. Cool. Yeah, I'll do that. Left leg piece. Great. That's fun. I like this. Yeah. Because then by the end of it, I'm going to be like all multicolored. I'm going to be like, oh, my whole family's on me. It's like you have genetics with this. Yeah. Ah, you have your brother's collarbone. What is the next step here? What is the plan here? You all have pretty much reassembled Neo and Tio. What are you all doing? Sounds to me like we should go to Copia Convent. Well, I'd like to return the fire opal first. Oh, wait. We should do that, and then I guess you ascend to Neo and Tio. Where are we geographically? Because weren't we heading? We were going to... The ruins? Wait, hold on. Let me pull my notes. Are we at the ruins of Razine now? No. You all had taken off east from Fort Endridge. Copia Convent is close to Fort Endridge, so it's behind you now, and you've passed it. We're at Boiling Bluffs. Correct. You're at Boiling Bluffs, and presumably your next stop was Sky Blue Falls Prison as you make your way to the front. Right, right, right, right. Sorry, I was confused because I listened to an old episode. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're heading there for safety, so that's good. They can head there. We should keep heading forward. Yeah, I agree. And we also need to make sure that we bring back the Fire Opal. That does do that now. Yeah. Yes. Also, yeah, that kind of like exchanging of components and stuff is like, I think, like a good goodbye for Neo and Tio as I let them on to the next part of their journey. How do they look, by the way? Did we get the majority of their components? Are they like? Yeah, they seem pretty much back to normal. Not 100%, but pretty good. Like most of the way there. You know, there is some wear and tear. They get ready to take one step and everything just falls apart on the floor. Very cartoonish. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, they would bid you farewell and continue on their journey as they were doing. They know where they're going. They just got sidetracked by this attack. So they bid you farewell and tell you to take care. Very sweet. Goodbye. What a beautiful family moment. It really is. I like this new, like, Pokemon card game that I've got going with the body parts. It's fun. gotta get them all i will say tov you know like just hold your siblings close but i think he is they're attached to him no i got there got there oh sorry i understand i mean physically is good but emotionally of course doug i i value and cherish every moment with my family so you all are heading back to the temple question mark yes i want to see my fiery friends with your tongue Yeah. You all leave the riverbank and head back into Boiling Bluffs proper itself and head over to the font of the Fire Eater where you were previously, which is what Natty is alluding to. And do you remember who you're looking for there? That's a good question. Flack? There you go. Take an inspiration die. Wow. Nice. I don't even remember that. I didn't either. I just wrote it down. You just looked at all the names you had written down and you picked one? No, I mean, like I said, I've actually got a pretty good system in my notes now. Although I've been slacking on the last couple of sessions of my highlighting. But it's right there. Flack. We went to the temple, flack the gnome. It was the fire master with the Kindlekin priests. He's a balding gnome. Yeah. Yeah. Chris is like, gimme, gimme. Okay, yeah, you walk back into the temple and you find, And after searching around for a couple minutes, you're able to find Flack. Hey, Flack attack. We've got your fire, Opal. Woo! Boo, boo, boo, boo. Okay. It was all intact the whole time we had it, too. Nothing bad happened with it or no mistakes were made with it either. That's right. Yeah, he kind of furrows his brow a little bit and looks at Doug. Wait, so do you or don't you have it? I don't understand. Is it okay? Yes, we do. Y'all, silence is an option sometimes. I know it's okay. Yeah, and I motioned a toll to hand it to him. And I give it back. That's very nice. You had a lot of fanfare, you know? That's very, yeah. Thank you. Wow, yes. He has a puzzled look on his face as you pull it out and present it to him. And he takes it from you, Cole, and grabs the, he just kind of under his breath mutters, What is this garbage? And takes the rod off of the opal and throws the rod away on the ground. Yeah. All right. I was like, did we bring back the wrong thing? Wait, so he can handle it without it being burning? It seems like he's totally comfortable holding it. Cool. Yes, the fire master. Gigi chases after the stick, by the way. Does he drop the axe in favor of the stick? No. You can describe it with his mouth. It's a dog. Like a dog. Like a dog. He's touching the stick. He still has that axe in his mouth. Or in his hand. That axe has been all over the place. Oh, thank you so much. This means a great deal to the Kindlekin. As a token of our appreciation, we could lend you a relic for your journey. Oh, is this like a one for me, one for you kind of, one in, one out kind of thing? Exactly. The library. Well, not usually, but yeah, we'll make an exception. After all, you're a member of the Kindlekin, Natty. Yes, I am. Thank you very much. Well, what kind of relics you got? You got like an assortment or is it like just one? I can show you. Follow me this way. Love to. He turns around and begins making his way over towards the reliquary. Okay. Is this like bones of saints or you got cooler stuff than that? That's pretty cool for a religion to have bones of saints. I mean, that's pretty neat. That's a little weird to me. It's pretty metal. I recently learned total tangent, and I'm going to keep this very quick. I recently learned that the remains of the conquistador, Hernando Cortez, are in Mexico City. Really? Interesting. Yeah, it's really weird. It's because they want to keep an eye on him. I guess he was actually buried in Spain, but then his remains were sent back to Mexico. And it's like in a – I read this article. It's in like a dilapidated church. And I think it's attached to a hospital that's been there since the 1500s. Yeah. And nobody wants anything to do with it. It's like a forgotten, disregarded relic because nobody likes him. Yeah. No. These histories – one of the history's biggest butts. Right. So it's really, really weird. Anyway, there's a great article in the New York Times about it, if any of our listeners are curious. Why don't I just burn it? Burn it. Okay, so you walk into the reliquary, and you see an ornamental glossy black box that rests on a plinth, and it's marked with ancient runes. I don't think you all came into the reliquary your first time here in the temple. No, no. Black makes a beeline for the glossy box and opens it up, and inside you see a couple of relics. and he says, These are sacred to us Kindlekin but we can allow you to borrow one if you wish borrow yeah borrow one for each of us uh let keep it to one is it the flight logs is it the the p2 breed outs black box down nice black box how many uh relics are there in there there are four total now that flack has placed the fire up all the fireballs back in okay oh could you maybe describe what each of these like does he seems very proud having hope in this box and pointing out the various relics that are that are in here he says gather round gather round these are the relics from the fire eaters first manifestation can you believe it right here we got the claws of commandments what does that do these grant you the blessing of casting command while holding a claw and so but I guess it has three uses? Yeah. However, it burns the ash immediately upon use. Okay. How are we supposed to return it? Yeah. You know, collect the ashes, bring them back here. Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. Next to it is a scroll, and he points at that. This right here, this is the scrawled scroll of scorching. And this looks like a blackened scroll with burnt edges. It smells tasty. It's got script written on it in draconic. Any of you guys read Draconic? No. I wish I did. Sounds like a cool language. Sounds like you could really milk that as like a joke or something. For like a whole campaign. Is it like a fire spell or something? It's a scroll scribe with the divine words. Blessed straight from the fire, Eater. It also leaves a burnt taste in your mouth. And if you speak or eat the scroll, scorching rays hurl from your tongue. Cool. What if you got three tongues? Question mark? Three times the burn. However, there is a downside. Your tongue is burnt for the rest of the session. So if we eat it, and to return it, how, um... You'll figure it out. Oh, God. I don't know if I want to put that in my mouth if it's been used before. We'll make potatoes with the excrement, and then we'll bring those potatoes back. Over here, we got the scales of Scrine. And it's two huge reptilian scales. They're charred black and they glow dull red. You hurl these into flames for a truly eye-opening experience. You toss them into a fire and the scale opens as wide as a reptilian eye. And you can see and hear the fire eater for a whole five seconds. Five seconds? Wow, a beeper. Wow. I know it's hard to believe, right? You can even speak with a god. We've done that a few times already. What? No. You're lying to me. Well, not the fire eater, though. No. Or have we? No, we haven't encountered them. Okay. The sea drinker and the fire eater are in love. Yeah, so maybe the sea drinker would like that, yeah. I was going to say, maybe that would be a good bartering tool. And finally, this last one you're familiar with, the fire opal of fireballs. It's a blazing, fiery red, translucent gemstone the size of a grapefruit. It's constantly steaming. Legend tells us this is a single teardrop shed from the Fire Eater herself. Be careful, though. It's incredibly hot. Burns to the touch. It'll even damage you if you're not prepared. While holding the gemstone, you can cast the spell Fireball. Fireball. Okay. Okay. I don't know which one of these is the most... I mean, Natty, it's your call, right? Yes, this is my church. Bless up. Bless up. Amen. Yeah, I'll go with the scales of scrim. That seems the most mysterious and interesting. Ooh, okay. You can add that to your inventory, I believe. Okay. I'm thrilled for the moment we throw it in the fire. I'm like, hello, can you hear us? Yes, hello, can you hear me? Hey, what's up? Five seconds over. Over. Dang it. It'll be even worse than Descending Stone. Oh, and Flak. Yeah? I wanted to be very clear that if at any point you guys were under the impression that some robots were the ones who stole this, it was a bunch of dretches. Really? Specifically this druid one. And maybe you could clarify this. he was or they i don't remember what they were but they were trying to use it on a pool of boiling liquid to resurrect an endarian that we had fought previously and possibly murdered oh most troubling where did this go down in the mines in the mines in the mines oh this warrants further exploration and discussion. We have Kindlekin down there right now, exploring the mines. But this information, that could help us root out what's actually happening. Also, if you could, like, pass the Verda around, because I think that there was a misconception. The Thaumatex, those robot guys, totally cool. Totally chill. They're actually really nice and misunderstood. Uh, okay. Good to know. Yeah, just saying. Alright. Yeah, you know. Yeah. Just saying. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, so if you see one, don't give them any trouble. You know, let them go their way. In fact, give them five gold coins if you see one. Five gold coins? Yeah. Yeah, they're very cool, very chill, very groovy. Yep. That's right. It's good luck. It's good luck to give them five gold coins. Mm-hmm. That's, yes, culture. Sure. Makes sense. Black would hand over the scales to you, Natty. You're the one taking them, right? Yeah. and uh as he hands him over he leans in close and whispers something into your ear oh i'm gonna slack you and it's up to you you can say it to everyone or not it's up to you then he uh pulls away then he goes back to closing the glossy black box that's resting on the plate okay i i understood understood i turned to my teeth a day later a day later kindlekin business gold core vink vink okay is there a place we could rest certainly as a member of kindlekin you're welcome to rest here with us we got cots set up for you priests and visiting travelers okay we could probably use a long rest oh is there like a friends and family discount that we could get as friends with daddy here are you kidding you brought back the fire will blow fireballs you don't have to pay anything You're welcome here. Cool. Oh, wow. He leads you to another room that is filled with beds. Got cots with wool and blankets for priests and visiting travelers. And there's boxes of scented candles set up. And a couple of the beds have traveler's packs by them. As in they're occupied? Yeah. Okay. Oh, God, it's a hostel. Start it. Flak leads you to some open beds. You can rest here. Okay. Could I look at one of the traveler's packs real quick before we go there? just to see if there's any, like, insignia on it or, like, anything that would indicate it's maybe familiar to us. Yeah, not looting, just looking. Just looking, yeah, not taking. Make an investigation check. Property of Infernus. What? Oh, my gosh. Eight. I can't roll well today. What you looking at, Doug? Apparently nothing. Ah, let me see. Can you see that? I don't have my glasses on. Maybe that's the issue. Now he rolls a 17. You take a look at it, and it's a very plain leather bag. It doesn't seem like there's any really identifying information on it. Hey, Flack, who do these bags belong to? Let's see. Some of them are Kindlekin priests, and some are travelers. People, you know, coming on pilgrimage. Come view our relics in the reliquary. Perhaps you heard of it. Oh, okay. Any of them Thaumatex? Thaumatex? Oh, you mean the metal people? No, they were stealing our fire opal. That's what we thought, at least. No, we just ran them off. Right, right. But what happens if you run into a Thaumatech going forward? Give them five gold. Five gold. Oh, great. Okay. You're such a quick learner, Flagg. Good job. Just making sure. Awesome. And very friendly. Be friendly. Got it. Okay. That's very good. That's very good. Okay. Maddie takes a long rest. Yeah, you all can take a long rest here if you want. Oh, my gosh. A long rest. A long rest. I didn't think I'd see the day. Do the trance. Humming, humming, humming, humming. I mean, Natty does that too. You're going to do a stand contest while we trance? I guess. Giggy never blinks. Oh. He's just got dust and dirt on his eyeballs. He's just wide-eyed all the time. I'm moving. Yeah, you all rest and you feel refreshed. I suppose we should head to our next destination, right, team? I suppose so. Sky Blue Falls? The prison? Yeah. This is good, yeah. Sure, we could go. See you later, Flack. See you later. Have fun. And then as we're leaving town, I want to turn a corner, take off my dorm head, and then go back and be like, Hello, I'm a thaumatech. Hello, what's this place? Money, please. Do you really want to do this? Yes. Do it. Do it, do it, do it. Okay, yeah. Oh, wow, wow. This is a lovely village you have here. As you're walking through Boiling Bluffs, doors to houses and businesses close and windows pull their shutters shut. You make your way to the temple. And out front, Flack is directing some acolytes who are making repairs to the exterior of the building. And sees you, make a perception check. Okay? Oh. Ten. Is something bad going to happen? I don't care. Either way, thank you for doing this. You see what appears to be a look of horror come across his face, which is then like stifled and like a very fake artificial smile comes across his face and he comes out with handouts, drenchedness. Welcome, friend. Can we help you with something? Thank you. I'm just passing through. What's up with this place? How are you? Oh, this here? This is the temple, the font of the fire. Oh, wait, here we go. He reaches into his pocket and rummages around. Oh, nuts. I'm a little short on gold. Here's one gold piece. Why don't you take that and feel free to move along, you know, just keep going. Oh, so generous of you. Do you guys have a place to stay where I can just, you know? Yeah. Yeah? For people like you. Yeah? Absolutely. All right. Mm-hmm. Wow, this black guy is really learning quickly. I love it. Well, I won't take up much of your time. I was just passing through. So thanks for the gold piece. All right. Hey, let your friends know that we are friendly and we know that you're cool in our books. All right. And let your village know that I'm not to be afraid of so they don't have to slam the doors in the windows shut. It's cool. I'm cool. See, hey, give me a hug. Come on. Give me a hug. Oh, okay. That's a very stiff, awkward, gusty. All right, see you later, Flack. I mean, stranger. All right, see you later. Wait, what? That's exactly what it's like when your grandma meets a drag queen for the first time. Okay, yeah, you rejoin up with the rest of the party. Bjornhead, back on. You all depart and begin making your way over land or in the direction of Sky Blue Falls Prison. While you're traveling, the boiling oil subsides give way to wintry fields with occasional dusting of snowfall. Gunther, as you all are walking, you see two eagles perched on a tree that has only a few leaves on it. And as you stop to consider the beauty of the scene, the leaves fall off of the tree. Do I recognize them? Is there something of significance to Gunther? It just stands out. It's a very beautiful scene. And it's very unusual that this tree is there with the eagles because there doesn't seem to be any other trees around, just that one. Can I wave at the eagles? Yeah. Hello. You give them a wave and it doesn't seem like they notice you or regard you at all. They're staring into the distance. And the leaves fell off? Yeah, of the tree, not the eagles, of course. Can I look at the leaves and see if there's anything significant? Like all the leaves of the trees or just like a couple little loose ones? Yeah, there weren't very many leaves on the tree, and they all fall off. Maybe it's the wind. It's kind of wintry and cold here. Yeah, you approach the tree, Gunther, and as you get close, the eagles take flight and leave. Ha ha. And you begin taking a look at the leaves that are on the ground. Make a nature check. Fourteen. Yeah, you take a look, and it seems like nothing out of the ordinary. They're the correct leaves for this tree, and they're here. Maybe the other ones that fell before already got blown away by the wind. It is a little windy. And look at where the eagles were looking at, like maybe from where they were perched, or see if they were looking at anything in particular. It's hard to tell, right, because eagles have their eyes a little differently than we do as people. I should say their vision is very different than what we experience as humans and humanoids. So it appears that they were maybe looking in the direction that you were walking towards, or that you're going to, if you had to take a guess. You feel like you've done this before, Gunther. You have an overwhelming sense of deja vu. Gunther sucks to sweat. Frog sweat. Googling do frog sweat. Do you recognize this area maybe? Since I know this Sky Blue Falls prison is where you broke out of. Maybe you've been brought past this tree before? Yes, it feels familiar. What if we go somewhere else? Should we just keep walking? Okay, I guess so. Are you uncomfortable? No. Yeah, you seem totally normal to me. Is it just because of the birds? Is it just the birds? I don't know. I like birds, generally. No. Neither did you last character. All right, you get an inspiration die. That's really good. I already got one. I'm good. tapped out. Yeah, so I guess Gunther will continue forth kind of reluctantly. Okay. After traveling a little longer, in the distance you see a building rising on the horizon. And you get closer and closer and it looms larger and larger. And you see it's a prison tower of stacked cells that appears to be in the middle of an icy lake. There's a localized cloud that hails over the tower frequently. And the watchtower circles the lake and the prison on the railway. The watchtower is on a railway and it's moving around? That's pretty cool. Sorry. The imagery of that is really dope. Like it's like the prison and then the watchtower is going around it? Yes. I love that. It's awesome. The tower is in the center of the frozen lake? The prison is in the middle of the frozen lake. Is it on an island or is it just like on the frozen lake? It appears to be built into the frozen lake. Oh. I can't get over that imagery. If I encounter that in a video game, I'd go, whoa. Whoa. Well, Gunther, it seems we're here. How'd you get out so we can get back in? Yeah, reverse engineer. All four of you make me a perception check. Fifteen. Sixteen. Fourteen. Sixteen. Wow, those are all really good rolls. This is a tight grouping. You're asking Gunther, Natty, you're asking Gunther for information about how he broke out and how he can get back in. When all four of you at the same time notice a humanoid in the middle of the lake. It appears to be a brawny halfling in a striped red jumpsuit, hopping between sheets of ice floating on the frigid lake. He sees you all turn around and calls out to you four. Hey, you. Hey, where you going? Come over here. The name's Kandu Cody. As you can see, I'm in a bit of a... And with a splash, the halfling is snatched into the icy lake by blue curved claws without a trace. Should I not have bothered writing his name down? Shortest lived patron name ever. Should we go try to save him? Maybe we can find out what that's all about in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. We've got some big news, everyone. You've heard us talk all about the cool perks we offer on our Patreon and how it's the best way to support our show. Well, from now until January 15th, we are offering a special New Year's promotion. We are offering annual memberships to our Patreon at 20% off. That's right, 20% off annual memberships. Head over to StinkyDragonPod.com and use the code STINKY2026, that's STINKY in all caps, 2026, to get 20% off an annual membership to our Patreon. 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And finally, Can Do Cody, named after Cody Bickford, voiced by Andrew Blanchard, who is at Andy underscore Blanchard. Thank you, friends. Thank you for providing such wonderful VO. This week's Arrow question was submitted by Gunther Bootkiss Windbreaker. I've heard that name before. Sounds familiar. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and Micah Reisinger, written and composed by Micah Reisinger, and edited by Alina LaCourchik. tune in next time for another thrilling episode of tales from the stinky dragon It is known as a place of refuge, and there have been rumors saying that they will offer, what is the word? They will offer... Sanctuary. Sanctuary. They will offer sanctuary. I was thinking of Homer Simpson running into the church, and I was like, what does he yell? Sanctuary! Yeah, Reverend Lovejoy is like, I regret ever teaching him that name. Or like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. That's what I think about. No, Simpsons. Not classic literature and stage play. No. Simpsons always. Yeah, the Simpsons.