Ep 585 - Son of a Governor

Wow Wow West yes. Hello. Hey, what's up, dude? Nothing dude. Can we all make an agreement just to like grow all of our hair together? Damn, I'll look fucking Like Val Kilmer it wouldn't be valid up front dude I Could get Tony's a parent I can go slick back Go bald slick back. It'd be nice. All right. When I get out of shower. I do it. Do you slick it up? I go, oh doesn't look so bad. Yeah, I'm Tony. I'm a slick back is Charles. I'm a daddy. It looks good One of those dressy kind of then I make it and I see my tennis and I go I'll never be Tony I'm always gonna be AJ with this fucking Damn, I'm always gonna be a tiny tennis man Think Tony I guess Tony definitely had Tony had a hog. Yeah, true I Be funny that was like the real thing the real finale of the whole season Tony what the hell don't you had a tennis this whole time got a dick like an Irish man. You're not the boss anymore He just goes takes a pee and looks at his pants The screen goes black Stop Yeah No way Tony's got a fat fucking bitch. Yeah, Tony had a fat hog. You can tell yeah for sure you can tell he's a boss He's the boss obviously have a fat dog. He's obviously the boss tall guys naturally the boss I was researching that this week Dude tall guys make more than sure guys like a hundred fifty thousand dollars more over a 30-year period average Just get paid more money. It's sick. You just see a tall guy. You go. Yeah, you're the boss There's something inside of all of us that go tall guys get paid the most Yeah, that's why they got George Washington. Yeah, you couldn't even speak and they were like dude your president Yeah, man, you didn't talk at the fucking first continental Congress. No, he's just tall as hell They were just like dude you gotta be he did wear his military uniforms over was like, yeah That's kind of boss everyone else is dressed like Quaker Oats guy. Oh kind of gay High socks and he rolled up. He rolled up. What's up, man full military? Well, what did he just been involved in before that using the French in any way French any I thought I thought some French stuff I'm gonna he was trying to become a British officer. He just kept getting passed up cuz he was an American Well, he like slowly he was like an OG American. Yeah, and he slowly started was at them I'm like damn dude. Who are you? Discriminate why you never hear about his parents never hear about George Washington's daddy or mommy. That's true. You know I'm saying You're not a Martha. I think they Gave I think he was the heir to Mount Vernon. I could be wrong Had never heard about his parents man, so they must have been bridge. Yeah, and he was one of the areas like the original American He's the ultimate patriot. I think he was born in Virginia. What? Augustine Washington. Yeah, so no his family wait his dad might have been born in Virginia. What damn his dad got His dad was born in 1694 in Virginia whoa Damn That's crazy Washington rules because I feel like the like that's getting close to the point where they just like in the very beginning They just threw a bunch of criminals here. Yeah, we're like yo fucking figure it out So his daddy was either the governor He's he might have been the son of a good son of a governor They'd be like one governor you would come here in like the 1600s And you'd be the governor and you're all your whole town to be shitty criminals Yeah, be a bunch of wooden pike like you had the one house Yeah, we need more fucking poor guys from England Yeah, really They said them prostitutes. Yeah, I used to planter and merchant whoa Okay planters a nice way to say it the planter. Yeah It was just a lowly planter Well, that's good for you any help because I know the Washington. I think he has some help. I think he went to zip recruiter Powerful technology made them a excellent which is zip recruiter calm and found some matches across the pond Yeah, well again aside from that shout out George Washington. Yeah Leading this country to independence shame on him for what he did. I'll so I was you know Having slaves whatever I would have went back in time. What if you're gonna go back in time? Honestly Whatever dude, I Guess no one's ever asked a question I you guys don't have to answer this but no one's ever asked anyone if you had a time machine Would you go back in time and stop slavery or do you stop Hitler? It's a tough choice You do both How so What the hell Throw away throw away Another one time. No, there's just no way back out. You got to stay back at whatever time it is What am I doing? I how the fuck do you stop slavery? I guess you have to go to the dawn of time. Yeah, it started it like yeah Okay, you can stop it in America or stop Hitler I don't know I know it's tough. No one wants to answer a question on record It's kind of you know, no, you're not gonna make any friends the worst Yeah, I think we know Is it I was like say you say slavery right and then but then you think about like what will America exist? Oh god. Yes, obviously yes Yes, obviously yes No, you say that like it's just Would we exist? We have we have more time machines This place we be flying cars Guys we're gonna ask this question is a bad question Free labor it was helping us grow economy wise I feel like you need it for asking all right No, I'll never know We'll never know guys will never ever know. Yeah, you know it happened, right? A lot of bad stuff happened, right? Let's just look let's just have fun. Let's let's go on a more light-hearted. Yeah Let's forget about I don't know never don't forget about never forget about Conversationally, let's move past this Yeah Yeah, the classic which one's worse. Yeah, that's good good start to the day Not which one's worse which is your personal preference ever has personal You're saying you have to stop one you don't want to stop either you You might be like you might put me in a time machine to stop the Nazis and I might I don't speak this language I'm the other I can't tell who's who you know I would like to make myself the most useful I think yeah Now if you're putting it that way. Yes, I think I could go back to the The beginning of America. Yeah, and just run shit exactly, but if I went to Nazi Germany, they'd be like get him out of here Yeah, I'm gonna I'm telling the difference between German Jews and Germans. I'm going I'm gonna help you like this Philly Jersey if I was wearing this way back. They'd be like Oh, shit how to get blue I wore this in Nazi Germany, they'd go get him out of here. Yeah, yeah I'd be I might be one of the bros. We'd have to put on that suit you show me before we did the podcast I don't have any memory 100% people will believe that I tell you after the show in Florida Someone handed me a penny and they I didn't know what they said they said it has the And they like hard or something. I'm gonna what night he leaves I flip it. I was fucking swastika Oh, yeah, you gave you a swastika. He was swastika penny. I gave it to my wife. I said here, babe I just did Florida here's a swastika now Adam. I'm projecting because I have I was gonna be really anti-Semitic That's a nasty prank. I would like to apologize I would like to apologize I like to apologize because I was projecting on you because I have People got really upset when I said I wanted to buy a hitler autograph I'm fucking see I really don't see the problem What did you say I said like 10 times I said it on here. I said it on rogan That's fucking Historically, it's a sick. That's what I mean. Yeah, dude. Don't that's crazy people are just jealous of your hitler autograph I'll give a solid autograph. I'd get a yeah, that's that's actually pretty cool. Yeah That and that's crazy to conflate the two things being like I have oj simpson shit. No one gives a fuck. I know that was just one lady Allegedly, yeah I don't know you can get a bad guy's autograph. I think so. I don't fucking say I like this exactly You go, but look at this. This is crazy. You put in your basement. Yeah There's nothing else in your basement. It's just a spotlight on a fucking Anytime I have a first date I go I want to show you something Take her down to the basement. Go. What do you think that? It's the lasered grid Try to read that Oh boy, well look that's all my fault. I'm sorry this topic. There's a terrible way to start This episode is brought to you by aura frames The part the best part of the holidays aside from the great fooding the gifts because be honest We all love a good gift love a good gift Is getting to spend time with everyone with everyone getting to spend time with everyone I love I love spending time with you And I want this our time together to be so special true dude The holiday season the holiday season is ours. The way I make you feel special dude around the holidays. I'm like walking on there I sent Matt an aura frame stocked with photos of he and I It's awesome And you know the perfect gift this year that could be for you to share those moments give the gifts of togetherness with Aura frames. It's a digital picture frame that can hold those memories and make them come alive again I'd like to come alive. I would love that You can add as many photos or short videos as you want All you need is the aura app and a wi-fi connection. Dang. So as you keep making memories you can add to the frame You know what I'd add what's that this memory right now a picture of this Yeah, if us doing an ad read take a picture and put it up there Go ahead. Yeah, just be just a drop in the sea of many memories. So we have yes the high resolution photos You know what makes me the most hard is the high resolution photos look like real prints And they really help you relive the moment and you can try interacting with the photo right there. So You know You can get any photos you want on there brief message like congrats Uh when all they want for Christmas is you and everyone together give them aura frames For a limited time. Oh my god. Let's get a picture of that Oh my god for a limited time visit aura frames.com and get 45 dollars on our best selling carver mad frames Name number one by wire cutter. That's huge By using promo code mssp at checkout. That's a u r a frames.com promo code mssp This exclusive exclusive black friday black friday cyber monday deal Is their best of the year so order it now before it ends support the show by mentioning us at checkout Terms and conditions apply. I don't think you got out of that. Yeah That happens. How was he? How was sdl? Oh sick We haven't done. Yeah, fuck. Yeah, I was going around dude. I had to travel a lot kind of sucked I go new york to la to San Francisco to sacramento. See yeah Dang, that's fucking it was a lot, but no, that's no fucking rule especially because all I had to do was the opening Yeah, it was great all the fun. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Also. They write all the jokes Yeah, I was delighted to see the rob zombie reference I got a rob zombie in there. Did you really? Yeah, it's nice. Which one called him Zaltan rob zombie. Yes, I saw okay Uh, I don't know why I was thinking dragila for some reason, but no it was uh It was sick. I just had the game seven of the world series on in my green room I did so stress-free when all you have to do is one Well, actually hold on. I take that back because the rehearsal my hands are on this podium And it anytime I let go I just did trump my hands every single time I let go I was Talking like I couldn't stop so then I had to just hold the podium and like as hard as I could And I don't know why but my hands were the sweatiest That makes sense. They've ever like dripped my hands were dripping sweat. No, dude I've never experienced anything like that. I I had it when I was flying home. I was carrying a single coin in my hand But no that would fuck you up I was clutching I was clutching a coin tightly But no that if you hold yeah, if you're like it was a plastic it was plastic so it was just like forget it so sweaty and uh Yeah, it was it's it's still extremely nerve-wracking. Oh, man doing snl's and I do it over like I was next to rami and miles teller and they were just Chilling this is cool. I was like, yeah, I'm fine. Oh At least you have to do it the whole time you did the one then it was over. Yeah, I did that one thing That's that was like but we did have I was gonna be in a sketch at the end And it got cut last second. I was Very happy. Yeah. Yeah, all right. I'm done. And then I got to yeah just watch game seven of the world series. It was a good time Yeah, I had uh ron and sass with me. Nice fight ants fight ants lingered Impressive lingering from fight ants He asked me to go and I was like, yeah, which I didn't want to ask for tickets for sure So I had to ask for tickets just for fight ants and then he went to the rehearsal and then just sat in my green room For the real show and then for the after party Classic it was a good linger. That's good. Actually. Yeah, he dug down. I said, do you have to Then I feel bad I'd be like finance get the fuck out of here because it's a real small green room Like five people in there. There's an 85 degrees in there. I'm like sweating I'm like, get the fuck out of here. He'd be like, do you really want me to leave him? I'd be like, well, no Now I feel bad. No Yeah, this admiral to dig in that long Dig in he can fucking dig it. Yeah, man. That's awesome Yeah, he's just like I want to be here. Yeah, there's nothing you can do as soon as somebody even looks at me I'm like, I'm out man. I'm fucking going for sure. I can't handle it Uh, but yeah, s and l ruled then, uh San Francisco was sick. I like got to goof off on the by the way, they're not kidding that place is fucked Yeah, that one area that one area is very bad. Where my hotel was was fucked up You gotta stay at the top of the hill. We did not my uh, assistant book that because she thought it was a funny hotel name What was it called? Uh, it was the zeppelin. It was yeah, it was a lead zeppelin themed hotel. It's fucking awesome Yeah, I was a little like, what are we doing? Yeah She was like, I thought this was a funny name. I was like, you're fired Now, uh, did we have a nice night at uh, the zeppelin hotel because uh, Me and me and tommy and uh, james went out and got some drinks after the show and then tommy Said he was sleepwalking I don't think so. He I think it was blacked out. He caught some of Roseanne's hand He thought it was the bathroom and just walked out his front door of the hotel in his tidy whitey's So he's just in the hallway in his tidy whitey's no card. He has to go down to the lobby In his tidies and ask for another key And I was like, dude, you're lucky it was san francisco. They're probably like, yeah, this happens Yeah, this is pretty normal. It's just fucking clearly a gay guy. Were they blasting zeppelin on like in the No, they did have records in the room. It was pretty cool. That's cool. But uh I was we we talked about after he was like, it was so embarrassing. I was like, dude, at least you're like in shape Yeah, I had to go down to the lobby in just tidy whitey's They would like call the police You'd had to go out to like the mission district and just stay outside To the street And I remember being like, all right, he's fine Indoors in just tidies people would be terrified Now that sucks. I would be I'd be mortified. Yeah, he handled it. Well, I think it was he was probably hammered when it was happening so Yeah, that's a good Sacramento ruled Sack down. Yeah Yeah, I Sacramento is uh, it's tough. It's very it looks very much like a gta video game. Yeah. It's crazy Bowser is back Everyone calm down the super mario brothers can take care of the kingdom Let's go on april first toad pack our things The galaxy Whoa, he's waiting Who is this? So some cool dinosaur just shows up and he's now part of the group cool the super mario galaxy movie only in cinemas april first Oh, I gotta say this it uh, the warriors we went down the warriors facility and shot around I got you beat Nate. I think I missed. I think I airballed 30 straight threes Do you have the footage? No, but they do And I was begging them. I was like you can't and they were like right above the rim there There's an ai camera that captures everything and captures your shooting motion Does all that and I was like and he was like, yeah, we might show this to the team and I was like you can't show anyone This is the most embarrassing I missed airballed 30 straight. Dang. It was crazy. Yeah, I mean people were filming and shit. I was like, please Oh, that was yeah, no way fine. It took me forever to work up the courage to go shoot because there were cameras around for sure Yeah, fine. I had enough beers to go. All right. I'll take a free throw airball to free throw And I was like, please don't put that out. I swear to god, please Please I'll do anything. Oh It's devastating. Yeah I mean three with the cameras on you that makes sense man. That would really That would throw me off especially when like james started making threes. Yeah, it doesn't even know how she's shooting fucking underhand My assistant hit a three. Oh, he was shooting underhand at the warriors. I don't know how to shoot Put underhand is well. I can't talk. I'm gonna shut up. Yeah Yeah, it was all it was very embarrassing Dang. Yeah, so that was a good trip. Tommy was just naked doing laps. I was naked That's awesome. Hello little mayor Nice of you to join us Why were you late? I got poop locked You got poop locked. Yeah, you sat down and took a dump and it didn't It didn't take it. It took but it I had to took another one I had to took another one See what you had like a bad messy ass and you couldn't leave you knew it was unfinished No, I was I drank too much whiskey yesterday and had seven eleven wings and that's a that's a travesty. Jesus christ. Oh my guts. Yeah My mayor went nuts on a bottle of whiskey yesterday. Like why I'm we were just hanging out drinking but He had like a chalice cup and I swear the cup's like chalice cup will get you yeah Chalice cup was like chalice cup's fun. Yeah gobbled or dnd. Yeah, gobbled or whiskey bring forth your wizards You guys still doing fucking gay dnd. We did yesterday. It was no no no. I mean like literally like gay actually homosexual What's debris was here telling me all about the way these guys play They have like rolled the dice to see how like what part you finish on the other guy This is that happened one Andy did it one time as a fun bit as a fun bit bad guy walked in and he rolled to to To come to death. It was a long time ago. He didn't know the rules We take it seriously now. We were on an adventure So you blacked out she was blacked out on whiskey playing dnd It was kind of the best seven eleven wings and then you're late to this because you're taking a bunch of shit My car got towed last night too. It was a terrible probably for the best From the report it sounds like that was like the best possible outcome where were you at the creek? No, it was uh Park the reference house in the Yeah, padduce's place in the uh complex and they took it Dang should get it back. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So what's your party score on right now out of 10? Are you like out of nine out of 10 of the party or like? What do you mean if you had to like score your personal party right now like how hard your party? Oh, I didn't party that hard It's probably like a three a four. There's a three. I thought you drank a ton of whiskey Nine at least we crushed like a case of beer and a bottle of whiskey In like four hours Well, man, what would your 10 be if that's your three? What's a 10 there has to be a fire somewhere like a fire an active fire going on that's a 10. Yeah Yeah Well, that's good stuff. All right, what else is going on Not much man. I uh, what's going on with me right now? Oh, dude. I'm trying to get in the thousand pound club right now That's nice. You know, I never heard of the thousand pound club t-shirt bro High school dude deadlift squat bench high school. I probably was the thousand pound club in high school too, but I'm trying to We cheated we had the fucking We had the uh, we had the hex bar for deadlift. Yeah, look It's the hex bar. It's you can get way more. You can yeah, that's true. You can get a lot more But yeah, I'm sure that's my goal by my 40th birthday thousand pound club So I'm at 750. I'll do I'll get it for sure. I'll get it for show squats tough Squat I kind of fucking sucks. I kind of like dude. I'll be honest. You do have thick fucking cheeks You're probably good thick cheeks and yeah, I kind of like it, but my back man like yeah kind of hurts I did like 265 and that was like I'll be able to get three plates. I think that's nice Sure, but if I do three plates three plates, three plates, I don't know. I have to do a lot more benches not That benches my weakness So it's just like I'm like a centaur, dude I'm puny that's good though. Yeah, it'd be fun. It's exciting stuff. It has been man. It's been really uh, I'm eating now like I'm In the NFL. I'm eating so much Welcome to the club, dude. Yeah You've joined the boys I was already eating pretty heartily dude instead of powerlifting. We're playing dnd I'm drinking a goblet of whiskey and they're going I need more calories I need to bulk up I'm just worried my bulk doesn't turn into the Hulk man I hear you. I'm telling you I might turn into the Hulk right now. You might turn into the bulk I'd give anything for you to just just get thick as fuck dude pause Pause I want you thick I might have never lifted this heavy. So I might fucking balloon out. It'd be nice. Are you taking creatine? Oh, yeah Yeah, you're gonna balloon out. I'm taking creatine. I'm taking my uh Natural tea booster. So I'm all endogenous dude. Fuck you. I'm all in all endo. So it's not really doing anything. I'm just getting I just wake up fucking crazy hard It's like tonga alley and all that stuff. Yeah, just wake up just rocked. It's nice to be correct Yeah, it's good to hear sore legs sore legs stiff It's good. Wake up and go. Fuck. Yeah Yeah, I can't wait to get to the thousand pound club. No one can stop me. I'm jack. It's time to read politics on the internet I'm so strong But now it has been nice that's been uh, that's been a fun one It goes to my head if I lift for like two weeks. I'm just like dude. Have I people notice how jacked I am right? I think Immediately you lift it for two weeks I know I can't lift one to be like dude for I think people might be able to tell right now Dude, I was watching uh, I had some fox news on tv and uh, there's a walberg commercial for the What's the prayer app called? Here's a prayer app. Does he have a prayer app? Yeah, and he just goes hi i'm mark walberg pray with me and then he just Says a prayer. It's kind of a television commercial. That's crazy What's it called? Yeah Like h.a.l. Dang, how does it work? I'd be curious to see how it works. I think it starts asking for some tithes tithes tithes tithes Yeah, I think that's I think eventually that's a little pay to pray Really just like christ intended. I'd be I might do indulgences. I like those. Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, get yourself out of hell. You pay the church to get you out of there. Well, it's good. He's trying to get people to pray That's good. It's nice. It is weird to try to get Are you sure there's tithes? I think there might be tithes. I don't know That'd be nuts. I feel like they would steal your information. I'd like to know what people are confessing I'd start an app for that. Oh confess your nap. Yeah, you can confess That's nice. I'll sell that third party information to see how it goes Yeah, as soon as they confess one thing you go. All right, Venmo me Venmo me three hundred dollars Yeah, I started listening to the bible on audiobook Me too. Did you really fell fell asleep pretty quick. Yeah, genesis is a slot Genesis gets you starting with all those fucking names. He bequeathed him and fucking he had him I finally made it through the names to abraham and Yeah, a lot of a lot of debauchery going on dude. I didn't realize I thought they I thought uh, you know Who was it lot when lots? Uh wife turned assault. Yeah, and then his daughters trick him and have sex with him Get pregnant. I was just like, all right. Here comes guys. We're after like now, man. They're actually doing really well They're like, all right. What the hell's that all about? Yeah, that's where lots like Fuck my daughters instead of this angel Yes, a lot offers up his daughters to the angel. So sick guys like that's actually pretty fucking hot-ass angel came down the whole town was like Like They had that coming I need some booty relief Booty relief such a nice term Do you ever see that old black guy? He was in prison for a long time. Who's on instagram now? Somebody's talking about booty relief He's talking about booty relief What the fuck is that? He's talking about uh, uh, yeah, fleece Johnson. I'm talking about booty relief What's going on? What is that? Oh, this guy has a 12 inch penis. He's been in jail for a long time and he Oh, no He just says I watched a boondocks There's that one episode the booty warrior or the guy was like, I see shit. I like shit He's a real guy and he's out of jail and he's a menace. Yeah, he's out now He's out really menace hitting people booty relief outside of these. I'm thinking booty. Dude. He said he's He's like he also holds it down. He's like, I'm not gay He's like I was just in jail. Then he'll be like so I swear to god some booties There's some booties better. They the best ever had he needs to be turned into a pillar of salt Oh Someone needs to raise his wherever he lives really bad. Oh, yeah, he's raised his land Someone needs to raise his 12 inch booty relief. God damn Yeah, he would say you're just like you would tap it dude him explaining It is the funniest shit in the world. I'm like, I just tap him. I said, hey man, I'm gonna need some booty relief It's like I got this guy and that's all it is. Damn it. Okay Yeah, just don't fucking hit me again, please Please stop hitting me. It's all I said he did. He said he fought gambles booty Those three things sounds like he didn't rehabilitate at all Grievous sins the entire time He truly didn't rehabilitate whatsoever But he is very funny. It's very funny. What sounds funny? I was missing his front teeth Just like man some booties I had better than any other girl I've ever had I had some good booty in that jail But he said ever since he's out of jail no more booty relief. That's good strictly for the ladies right now Yeah, he was in jail for what like 15 years. He's in jail for a long time. It's not funny But I've talked about it before but I always think it mean blizz would just dying laughing because this guy got it's not funny He got some booty relief, but they packed his ass with peanut butter For like lube, I guess what and we were just he got like knocked out and he woke up with peanut butter his ass But then it's just like just somebody knocking somebody out and somebody else be like get the peanut butter It's not funny. Never mind. I'll take it back. But you know what I mean? It's funny. Just pack someone's having your Having your butthole filled with peanut butter is objectively funny Lube i'm questioning is like peanut butter for lube. I don't know So it's it's like doesn't even go down your throat. You know what I mean? You've probably choke on peanut butter So I wonder maybe it was just a mean thing to do afterwards. True. It's a little prank Yeah, maybe it was natural peanut butter. It was just the oil Get that get that organic peanut butter Quick get the peanut butter the motherfucker's knocked out go Not the shit with the palms of your ass Getting packed up with peanut butter, man. That's tough Take forever to get that out of your butt You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that'd be tough It's some chunky Yeah, my god smite whoever packs me with the chunky peanut butter, bro. Please I would cry unto him. Do pray for pray for a peanut allergy and go jokes on bags on you This episode is brought to you by price picks You and I make decisions every day, but on price picks being right can get you paid Don't miss any of the excitement this holiday season Price picks has it all whether you like basketball football college football hockey ufc You can find it all on price picks like seriously Even the tank davis vs. Jake paul fight this weekend is up on price picks Price picks is simple to play just pick more or less on at least two player stats If you get your picks right you could cash in Matt and here's a new feature to get hyped on Price picks now has early payouts if your player gets off to a hot start You can now you now have the option to cash those winnings before the game even finishes That sounds perfect. Yeah download the price picks app today and use code drench to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup That's code drench to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup price picks It's good to be right. It's good to be right. Yes Oh, yeah I think this weekend at madison wisconsin. I believe there's an early show for sale Everything else is all sold out, but Let me see here. Let's let's check it out guys. Yep comedy. I'll stay at madison wisconsin. I believe there's an early show Springfield comedy club back on the map Back on the map. They're gonna honor the tickets that people bought before the whole place imploded I springfield comedy club the righteous people of springfield comedy club have come and they've Brought me back to springfield, Missouri honoring all that's a fun show tickets. Yeah, it's gonna be awesome Funny bone comedy club Syracuse, New York. I'll be there also. Please come out guys. Mammacusker.com. Thank you December 12th I'll be in Boise, Idaho December 13th. I'll be in Portland, Oregon and then the next they don't want a little break until the January madison square garden, so Yeah, hopefully those hopefully I don't choke and ruin it and blow it Fuck no if you can handle that if you can handle gaming on the screen Fuck madison square garden, fuck Well, you guys got anything you want to say? You got any shows? Where you got brother? We got optimum noctis coming up next week And it's the first and third Tuesday of every month at the creek in the cave in Austin, Texas First and third now you guys doubled the optimum noctis. Yes, sir. Congratulations. Thank you very much. Optimum noc die. Yes Yeah, now it's optimum noc die. Yeah, I didn't think about that And then I'm going to Chicago and Atlanta in December Uh, I forget when they are but they're the tickets will be up soon. So if you want to come to that, please come Thank you very much. All right. Good job. Sean. Thank you. All right. Thank you everybody. That's a wrap on the set That's a wrap on Hall set me up. He's all mad that he's He's claiming there is a Company that is selling medicine for peanut allergies. Guess what the medicine is Peanuts. Oh, he said it's 100 percent. They're 100 selling peanuts So it's like a vaccine kind of yeah, it's how vaccines. Yeah. Yeah, pretty much give him a small dose of peanuts. Yeah Give him peanuts breath. All right He was fired up. He texted me he goes can you fucking believe this shit? It's like, yeah, for sure. Yeah, that's how that works Yeah, I could definitely see them. Yeah, but yeah, that was really the kind of solution to the whole peanut allergy I was like, let him eat peanuts Give them peanuts. Yes. So we're worried about that with your children. No, I didn't have a peanut allergy So I was like, they'll be fine. And I gave it to him super early where I was just like see what happened. Yeah See what's good. So that that shit is annoying, dude. Like trying to pack launches for him. You can't have any Peanut products. It's like, yeah, because then it's like Tree nuts or just coconut. It's like the point where like bro, like They gotta they gotta do this. Yeah, that sucks. You gotta eat this shit But if my kid had a peanut allergy, I would give them like a prophylactic tongue cover like a dental dam Like a dental dam, but for peanuts for peanuts for peanuts. Yeah, of course, you know, that would be the safest The only thing you can do I would do a mask and a dental dam And that would just kind of grease their whole body so that like they would you know that way If they slipped it would fall if you totally safe You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm fully I'm saying if someone tried to abduct your kid if you had them covered in baby oil Because if they see that If they see that dental dam, they're gonna go They're fucking they're they're ready And then you lube them up you go good luck catching. Yeah, they make a bar so popping right out of their hands Watch out. I might get them going too I All right Yeah Anyway, I'm telling you man the caffeine had me fucked up I've been subdued under the heel of fucking evil caffeine. Yeah caffeine is dude That shit is not where it's at for me personally. That's fine everybody for me. It was like stealing my energy, man I would yeah, you do crash dude. I crash so hard that it's like either drinking other coffee Then you get bad sleep for me again personally I would get bad sleep and then I wake up and chase the dragon again And it was like I got to the point where I was like, dude, I this shit isn't for me. Yeah, and I feel so much better Well, that's good. Yeah, because I knew you were struggling with that. It was good. Yeah, I'm free I'm free from the clutches although the demon nicotine still has it's hooked. I was off that as well Nicotine rules but I was crying to show on the whole time this weekend. I was like, man, I'd really like my nicotine tab Let's before the show. It's really nice having those just makes my mind a lot sharper And I kept being like you only chance. He was just like, yeah, I think I have one of those things You gave me before and then he didn't he didn't have him. He built me up fucking slam me down fucker Yeah, you fuck Oh, good calling man. It's clearly it's clearly done talking This is hands of a mic Yeah, I might start taking 7oh. Did you ever take that before never even hoided of it? Dude, apparently there's this shit. It's cratum, but they turn it into like a super concentrated. Don't start taking fucking cratum I'm obviously not No, it's a bit dude. This is a bit. Yeah, that's the thing about me, man. You don't know when I'm being serious But it's like it gets me in a lot of trouble. I hear you sometimes I'm just I feel there's a there's like a term for that when like, you know You don't really know the person serious and it's like a dramatic term something from you know being a cunt This guy sucks It's tough to talk to him. I don't know if he's fucking with me. No, if that doesn't work Then I slip into a British accent and usually the party goes crazy party goes nuts Let me hear that dude, let me hear that British accent I try to watch peeky binders again. Oh, dude, that's all you need I used to love it Well, no one would it turn dudes into it's kind of tough as well. It's like sex in the city That sex in the city ruin a generation of women peeky binders One generation Sex in the city is continued. It's still going. Yeah Peaky blinders probably still going. Yeah, so people still in the peaky blonder shit The one episode because I remember season two being awesome. Isn't that the one with tom hardy? Yes So I started that the first they go into like a party in london and like Beat the fuck out of everyone in there, of course on the way out the the young one kisses one of the babes And they're just like let's have a fucking night on that town peeky blonder style I was like, damn, this is crazy They're leaving burying him and they're in a car and the Brother stands up and he's like buy one of the peeky blinders. What going on holiday? It's that's so Arthur. That's yeah, Arthur. Yeah, so Arthur dude. Yeah, that uh Yeah, I don't like the like constant slow cool walks in that show They walk through industrial london. There's sparks flying. They're just like Yeah, all right. We get it these guys are the coolest guys fucking. Yeah, they're the coolest guys industrial on it I'll give it another shot because it did rule Yeah, it was fun to watch it did rule, but I'm saying now that I just know Yeah, there's dudes dressing like them. I can't watch the big biders wedding Damn, they gotta regret that so much Like a cool show you go. That's what we're gonna do The groomsmen are gonna dress like the current cool show Oh, fuck that's just stinks. We're gonna dress up all these uh these fat tree guys Damn it sucks to be the one groomsman that has like half a brain that's like this is so embarrassing You know, but everyone else is doing it. So I gotta wear a trench coat and a fucking jeff cap and a vest with a Fucking watch A pocket watch You gotta try to talk to the women after the wedding. Yeah Some of the bridesmaids are probably hot. I wonder if any of the guys ever like went to their head Definitely. I'm sure someone got stuck. They just get completely you put that fucking you put that outfit on There's no way you're not doing you're drinking a fucking gobble to whiskey going You're in a wedding with your girlfriend a six-hot toad You're with your girlfriend at a wedding. She's you know, never six months in the night. You're like There's gotta be some black piggy blinders. Oh for sure. I'd like to take a look at that centers Sooners was just an excuse for black dude to do a piggy blinders. Yeah, I never thought about that. La Mer good point you're on fire Black piggy binders. Yeah Fuck yeah, let's just show me pictures of the black eye and piggy binders You're gonna come across la Meron Yeah, let's let's actually these people are is off. It's suck ass I'm actually an accountant Oh Can imagine popping off the piggy blinders garb and then you just can't get hard That's why I'm not allowed to wear the piggy binders, dude. I would just lean out Just lead into it. Oh, I've seen a lot of things. Yeah, I was in world I breathed in muscle. They're chugging whiskey the whole time. There's no way any of these dudes had boners The piggy blinders are soft You can't get a boner and drink that much whiskey You really can't I'm with my brothers. Me and all my brothers are soft right now We drank too much dewas it happens, but I guess the wops did the fucking Sopranos too. Yeah Sopranos suits and shit for your wedding. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's fair. I didn't think about that I think they just don't they just dress like that anyway. They kind of do but I bet they I bet they wop it up. Yeah Sopranos gave me a lesson. Yeah He did some things Yeah, that's their I've said it a hundred times. That's their favorite thing I would love to just really investigate every Italian's connections to the mafia Start a documentary turns out they're all lying. Do you watch that? Philly versus the mob at all? No It's pretty great the guy the one of the Investigators at the start of it one of the detectives that he's just like All they talk about is how loyal and all that they are every single one of them is a fucking rat. Yeah It's devastating. They did all tell on each other for sure. Yeah, where do they talk about like nicky the hat and all those guys? Uh, I forget the guy's name. He's still alive uh, yeah I think he owns a steak. He's he's kind of the main So remember there was um Who's the yeah, there was like the main guy who got Jerry Jerry Joey Merlino got busted. That's him. Yeah Merlino got busted and then there was all these other guys. He's out. He's he's out He's kind of cool that it's about like the young guys going up against the yeah Sicilians like the original g-wops and then the Philly wops are kind of I remember hearing rumors in like 20 yeah around like 2014 2017 like the mob was coming back Everyone kept trying to say that like you know the mob's coming back is the mob like whenever they bust these guys They let them They have to get so much On them before they arrest them. Yeah, and I never understood that they sit there and watch them do like They like let them do pretty serious crimes. Yeah, finally. They're like we got you. Yeah, you murdered 12 people We got you on the 12 fucking guy You get them on the first thing. I guess they're trying to go for the godfather True trying to get the godfather because there was a big one when I was in college They got a bunch of bookies and they were all there was like they were saying like that's the last of the mob They all got and they got like Crushed they got caught with like hundreds of thousands of dollars in cash And they just I think like they were like there were the pictures from the paper and like they were just like laughing Getting walked out. They're like, you know, give a fuck. They're awesome. Yeah, like we're fine. I know they kind of did rule It could be wrong, but aren't they saying that NBA gambling scandal has The mob and and maybe the UFC fixing fights and things like really still yeah, there's a lot of gambling scandals that are See those pictures There's a picture that just got busted. Oh no, and it was he was just uh Throwing the first bit you can bet on the first pitch being a ball or a strike. Yeah And then you offered this guy like fucking 500 bucks He got no money for this really somebody was probably like, yeah, I'll give you a grand if you just throw a ball. He was like, all right He got busted now. He's facing like 60 years in prison. How do they bust him? I'm sure whoever was doing it was probably It was like a bigger Scheme, but I think he probably you know Yeah, you're fucked So I'm so I'm trying not to cough. Oh Sorry, so I'm why you're doing that. I'm like, yeah, we're officially an old man podcast Yeah, I guess this is obviously how this is gonna go by the end of the day What the hell are you talking about? I don't have any fucking memorabilia Shut up don't fucking say that I Did my parents vegan of geese is my parents surprised me in florida That's not the show. It was sweet. Although. It's my least favorite show the weekend. That sucks. They popped up and I was just like guys Yeah, it's the price of the show. They think it's very nice. It's just That was nice. We chilled Sean. We all hung out. We went on a boat. It was nice. Oh, I heard the boat was sick Yeah, it's pretty tight. My dad was showing off for Sean. He was driving very fast. Yeah, he was going very fast on the boat He seemed scared He seemed scared Sean. You're smoking that cigarette like it's your last one And he gave me some new lingo. He called he called cigarettes hot snacks, which I love hot snacks Hot snacks. That is good lingo step outside for hot snack Yeah, it was nice. We got to hang out. It was uh, it's very sweet It was chill. It is nice. Yeah, but I was trying to extend the chill too long though And I was like, bro, I must go back and take my little how did your uh, how did your mother feel about your your material? She told me to stop being fresh. Yeah, she said Matt Stop being fresh. There's some stuff in there, man. Who boy, I do not know that I'm very glad they surprised me because I would have pulled back because some of that stuff is a little blue Yeah, I'm trying to clean it up. But right now it's just sometimes gotta go a little blue. It's a little blue Just while I'm cleaning it, you know, I'm figuring out it's gonna be squeaky clean by the time it's done But right now it's just a teeny bit blue ain't nothing funnier than some blue I kind of like it too. It's fun. Yeah, especially. Yeah, when you make people deeply uncomfortable about something They don't want to think about But yeah, we were doing some battle. There were some geezers there. I battled, you know drunk lady I don't know if I even battled. No, I battled a big titted drunk lady a little bit She was so far away. It was like what did she want strike from afar. She just started yelling stuff out. Yeah Yeah, I'm trying to make my new hour. I'm trying to make it more For everybody, but I just I'm pissing girls off. I'm trying to talk about girl stuff and they're gonna fucking mad at me Yeah, I don't like it trying to include them talking about stuff. They're interested in too. Well when it's room full It's a room full of mostly dudes and you're like women are dumb as fuck And there's like No, I've done that. I'm not saying you. Yeah. Yeah, I don't do that. I don't do that, but I do I do talk about stuff. I think they they don't they get uncomfortable when you talk about, you know, they're pussies and stuff Talk about the pussies. Yeah, you gotta talk about everybody's pussies. Yeah Excuse me, man I'm just trying to I tell everyone I'm making a very, you know Trying to keep everyone engaged and talk about guy stuff. Now we're doing girl stuff and we'll go back to guy stuff Yeah, so he had a large adoring female crowd still eludes me So some it's it's my quest. Yeah It'd be nice Seven arena of white men Which don't get me wrong. I love my white brothers Some babes would be nice for sure, man. Yeah, I've seen there's been some babes that shows that Are just from SNL. Yeah, and I've seen them and I've seen them be extremely uncomfortable. You go, this is not that guy He was so charming What is this you're based that off of just seeing them nowhere like shirts Oh, like designed like a couple of beer shirts or like a sketch from SNL And you guys are here from SNL and you watch him hit the wall Last show I think it was Sacramento. There was just four They were old. They were like older women And they were furious in the front row. So I kept like looking over at them going They were like nope But then they started laughing at some inappropriate stuff and I turned around and go you like that. You like pedophile stuff. That's crazy Yeah, there was a lady I thought I could have sworn hated me the like Need anything from Tesco like Tesco finest hot cross buns Any two for just three pounds on selected packs this Easter with your Tesco club card because every little helps majority of larger stores selected finest buns and 6th of april club card or app required AI is how industry leaders are transforming how we learn live and solve tomorrow's challenges Take phillips Using AI to turn millions of medical scans into answers faster Hear that that's the sound of car manufacturers using AI to shift production up a gear And how gaming worlds level up as you play Across industries worldwide AI is how innovation happens every day through this whole show and then I finally went to talk to her and she was like Oh, you're fucking hammer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was like the whole time I was over here fucking worried. I thought you were pissed off You're just so drunk. I'll never forget uh At bananas I had the meanest woman she had like a She had like a Buzz cut almost she was like an older. Yeah, she had that like old lady like short hair and she was big She was like strong too. Dang and her friends were A little unhappy, but she was furious and I was like, oh, you're the one who arranged this, huh? Because you feel terrible about how bad this is and she was like, yeah, and I was like, I just remember calling her Mike Dicca I said he looked like I said if you're here who's coaching the 1985 Chicago Bears Obviously, she didn't get it, but I was like trust me when the lights come on you go see how much this lady looks like Mike Dicca And we're all gonna have a laugh This is like five minutes into my set the rest of the shoot was so bad Dude, that's the fucking devastating. Yeah Yeah, I did the audience support the Mike Dicca joke when the lights came on at the end of the show everyone honestly laughed It was uh, Nate. I think you were at that. Yeah And that was O'Connor O'Connor was that the one O'Connor just did my jokes twice? It was really funny. I forget what he was doing, but he kept going. Yo, you guys like Trump. Hell, yeah Like he said something like that during the first show and I was like, what the fuck? All right. That's a little It's a little close And then he gets off stage. He's like dude, my bad. I won't that I was just I was just talking I didn't even think about it. I was like, no, it's fine. I'll give a second show. Yo, what the hell? Yeah, dude You guys fucking love chocolate beers. I was like, dude, this is my whole fucking shit Yeah, it was a bad show then got up there call the lady Mike Dicca I think I fought with the manager I was looking at the wall and there was like a good comedian. I forget who it was. I was like, dang You guys had him here. She's like, yeah, I wish she was here tonight. I was like, I wish I was somewhere else Yeah, the fuck Different club. No, no, it was right before the show even so that's even worse. Yeah, I was in the hall and they had like pictures of comedians Oh, you guys had him. She's like, yeah, I wish she was here. Yeah, I'm actually remember you tell me that that's Fucking the hell's wrong that man. Yeah I remember back in the day. I made fun of an older lady. It was like I was doing like a bar show in New Jersey I made fun of an older lady's shirt and it was like a crazy like Shiny shirt this lady had on and just I it was I thought it was pretty funny But like she got really sad and the whole crowd turned on me. Yeah, and I was like, all right, no to self Yeah, you can't make fun of older ladies can't slander and their gear her gear I like kind of she I think she started it to be fair that it's kind of like crushed her gear and she Yeah, really sad. Yeah, they always start it. Yeah, you're never just out of nowhere being like, look at this ugly bitch No, no, I wouldn't do that and she was I was just making fun of her shirt but Yeah, I've been I've been getting attacked here and there I've been getting I've been getting kind of there's been some Uprising's against me here in these weekends, but we've been having fun. I've been holding down I'm on a new front. You're holding down. Just go fucking fuck this show Fuck you. No, I've been having a I've been having a good time. I honestly have but yeah, a couple I have a couple mutinies on my hands A couple late. I said the lady's spazzing on me right now I'm glad I listed in Sacramento. Nate Diaz was just like circling the stage He was like he's like, you didn't see me out there. I was like, no, I didn't see you And he was like, dude, I was right there. I was like, what do you mean? He was like, I walked around the stage And then he walked around the upper ring and just took pictures of people the whole time I was like, you're a dickhead That's so fucking funny. Yeah, if I were to see him I'd be like, wow That's hilarious. Yeah, he's very funny. That's his squad was rowdy. They were very funny. Squad's nice. I peeked into the action They were so funny. One of them showed up the drunkest I've ever seen really. Yeah And he stayed alive the entire time. Dang showed up like And I was like, holy fuck dude, I've never seen him like this and then he He was like, what are you doing right now? And I was like, I'm about to go on stage He's like, oh shit. I forgot. I was like, yeah, dude, this is the show I like I like when that kid projectile vomited the one time Last time I was with you. Oh in the green room. Yeah after the show projectile vomited. I think that was my cousin's like Nephew or some and then stayed. Yeah, just hung the whole time Yeah, that was that was one where people like is it cool if he comes and I was like, yeah, that's fine Fucking threw up everywhere in the green room Came back. I mean it was it was literally it was a trail that was like 20 something feet long Yeah, no one cleaned it. Everyone just put paper plates. I know I feel like be careful. Just put paper plates over the vomit dude. It was like 15 foot trail that he then I think just threw up into his hands He projectile while he was walking and then just like trying to hold it in his hand So it dripped all the way to the bathroom. It's long. I think state. Yeah. He just chilled just walked right back in I couldn't believe it. I was like, well, where is the kid now? Like, oh, he's right out there And I was like, he didn't leave you think someone would either make him leave or he would want to leave It was such a wild move. Yeah, just sit there like no, man Fucking threw up all over the party I'm just gonna sit here That sucks dude the moment because I would be in denial if I was about to throw up I think no me never never not at the aftershow not at the green room not happening. No way No, no, no Seven feet in front of me trying to run to the toilet. Oh, I can still get this trying to get to the toilet throwing up Yes That's awful. You should have brought him before you Yeah, bring me that boy. Bring me that boy. Yeah, I would have paused the xbox and said, where is he? Neil rise and night Yeah, dude, the me me and gardeni's goom sesh in the um In red and for note goom we're in the airport with the switch So nice. Yeah, you can't get I you got you got a hold of a switch on the way to Australian play yes 15 straight hours I mean sure I don't want to say anything. I was like, yeah, I'm all right. I can't ask you. I'm like, yeah, you can have I could see how much you oh my god. I was having a blast playing that. I know how you get on the switch Dude, true. I get that little switchy. Mm-hmm. But yeah, we had the uh, we were sitting there playing and it like I would be like, all right, dude. Chill as soon as I get knocked out of like third place. I'm like Just packed How many red shells you're gonna fucking get dude? I'm only getting green I thought it was funny because we saw the guy with the oculus Yeah, Austin airport and we were both like look at this fucking piece of shit. He's literally wearing an oculus Yes, and he was going like this scrolling with his fingers It was dude, I got a picture of him, but it was uh, lemur would have no problem hitting the oculus No in public. I was thinking about it last time I was on the airplane. I was like, I should pull my Hit an oculus on the flight. Yeah Just in my seat. You should do it next time go like this Anytime you want to show Yeah, put the oculus on and then just be like This is a little 9-11 simulator I was laughing though because then we were in Florida flying home and I was like these old people are looking us at us the same way for playing the switch that we were Looking at that guy for now that old man was loving it, dude Who are you playing with you strike me as a toadman? I do like toad a lot and I got the hamburger head and the new mario kart So I really like that costume, but I like lekkitu too Who's that? He's just a little turtle guy, but I have a fisherman costume for him. So I've got a lot to you Dude He's got a ball He was going like that. I think there's like a function where you go like this with your fingers. He was going I was like bro Take it off Yeah, play a little play a little mario kart in the airport is nothing that was crazy plugged into a chart, dude He's from the future. He's got air pods Yeah, he's he's plugged into A portable charger in his suitcase. It looks like he was literally going Yeah, he was elsewhere. Yeah, this is a future man. Yeah, it was pretty crazy man a cool vest. Yeah, it was Pretty nice. It pissed me off. I think he's a military guy though. So he was like maybe he's like could have been like drone striking Palantir. Yeah, it could have been Good friend that one was wild man. Yeah, that's and he held it for a while I wouldn't I didn't put an oculus on unless I locked my door and was in my room Yeah, you would that's if anyone saw that Yeah, be tough. So I'm wearing a fucking virtual mask. Especially if I had one of those what I'd be doing with it I'd have to definitely lock the door Yeah, chris and Tommy had no problem playing it. That's so funny I mean that is fun and it does sound kind of fun. Oh, no, he was on these were Apple Provision so he was he was doing Apple Pro augmented reality so he could see you But it was just like his abs He was just Yeah, if somebody's wearing an oculus in public you can ball tap. Yeah, you have to now He was these are vision pros, but yeah, oculus would be crazy. Yeah, he'd be totally blind, but he would just go Jesus Christ he was just bringing his text closer Enhance Yeah, it was tough. It was a tough look. I don't know. Maybe maybe there's you know I think there's might be babes that are into that kind of shit if you're just fucking completely futuristic Maybe you know, we'll say someone there's someone for everybody. Yeah, there is Just another babe with vision pro You see each other's big moji screens at each other. It'd be nice Yeah, I didn't realize he was plugged in the whole time. Yeah, he's plugged in. Dang dude connected to the grid It's fucking crazy Yeah, the uh, yeah, apple pro or even oculus in public. I would definitely steer away That's crazy. No switch two player switch with the screen on a suitcase. Totally fine Yeah, it's fine. There's an old man. He was 80 years old Just watching us play just completely blown away. But like what is that thing? We're like trying to explain it to him He's like that is so cool. That's nice. It was really nice And I have we end up sitting next to him on the plane. He was a man He was like a almond farmer in sack town actually from sack town Everyone he was like you guys got to join the space force because I think you're gonna be able to get to the moon pretty soon Yeah, he was telling us to go to the moon Oh, man, that's pretty sweet. I was like bro. I like this optimism. Yeah Half as old as you He's very optimistic. I liked it. He was the future is bright. I'm so sad. I'm not young for this time That's why yeah, he's about to die. Yeah, he's going down the future is gonna be so sick. I mean, yeah, he's so much fomo No, he didn't have fomo. He didn't massive fomo. He was playing Mario Kart at the fucking airport. Yeah, dude He saw me and showing me like blue shell. Yo, I hit the blue shell He'd be going what the fuck is it blue shell? You go and hits the guy in first. He's like, how do they come up with this shit? We're gonna be in Mars in no time Yeah, because I'd be sitting there like dude, I hit a shortcut and he's probably like what the fuck This guy's a fucking freak. It was so this guy must be top gun That was so fun. That was man. I was sad to be able to put that thing away Yeah, it's unbelievable gotta get the switchy Especially the stranger be like, yo take the controller Sean was nice too. He was I'm sure kind of killing it man You're what? You're a sweaty gamer sweaty gamer when you get you get serious It's just a game the UFC losses send you home every time Anytime we play UFC his agrees. He loses like three. Yeah, he goes. I have to go actually It's just a game. It's a hot snack and Screens we do got a reestablished rank. We haven't reestablished the ranks are settled dude. I just put on a power vacuum No, there's no power vacuum. It's it's a blood that dude Someone at the napple shows was asking us to pod pod tournament UFC again. Oh, well They their wish could be granted. Yeah, we could do that right now. Yeah, uh, no, Nate Nate and I stayed up had a couple cocktails on sunday and I might have beat him 20 Straight game. It was bad. It was a bad one This was but I was hammered. I showed up drunk at like six. That was like 230. I showed I was drunk True. I was drinking on the plane True shit. Yeah, no handicap Yeah, nice try. Damn I got this is my favorite though when you get drunk as I was beating you in a video game you go Yeah, you fucking like you feel good about this. I did that. I got soda with that in like a real way Soda couldn't beat me in NCAA and then we came home from the bar and I was hammered and he's sober Yeah, he just beat this shit out of me. It was like 3 a.m. I'm just sitting there. I was like, you feel real good about this Oh, you're fucking going. Yeah, I'll run up the score. You feel cool. And he was like, honestly, no He's like, I don't like this and I was like, all right, let's go to bed, dude. You won I don't like yeah, he's like, dude, this sucks. You're being like really mean I was losing and being so nasty It's such a funny you think you're fucking tough, dude Fucking beat me when I'm drunk, dude Meanwhile, I was like, yo, let's play NCAA He did run the score off. It was fucking brutal To have like your remaining faculties is be like, you're a fucking piece of shit You can barely see just a soda It's so nice. This is how you fucking cocksucker, dude You think you're really fucking cool Your brain is just like fizzing out. It's just like, you know, you're real piece of shit I remember you were like, the last four centers are lit up Yeah, that's so fucking funny But that is, yeah, that'll get you. Yeah, if you're uh If you're trying to if you're drunk and gaming It's not at your best Yeah, I must have he you handled it. Well, he had he was like he was like Rudy Rudega He kept being like dude one more play run it back same match up I was like, dude, these are first round knockouts with like Insane knockout. He would try to go to the ground I would just I had moments where I was locking in I was I had moments that I kept thinking I was like the next one You did have there was obviously there's 20 games you're gonna get like You're gonna get close. I agree though. If you get knocked out fast, I have the same thing where I'm like I know where I'm like, I know what I did. I know what I did. I got your game mapped out Let's fire it up and then you get knocked out again. You go fuck What am I not thinking of right now? That's that's what I maybe when I focused enough that I like look hard scrunchie So you see your guy get knocked out in more clarity That's all this shit. I know I was real focused on getting my ass whooped Yeah, and then he wouldn't leave he was a leave he dug in he lingered I went to bed while he was still in my house. Are you practicing? I was having a good time. I was watching He put on sixes highlights and he was like, oh shit my uber is 18 minutes away. I was like, I'm I'm going to bed, bro. And then I laid in there and the fucking it was so loud I'm just listening to the lady announcer from the 76ers screaming. She's the best. She is actually really great Kate's the best. I'm usually I'm usually very opposed to to that. She's actually she's a man. She's like wanted to talk. Oh really? Yeah, she's good. Yeah Yeah, Kate Oh, no, the man I like that Don't talk about my sweet age of Kate Scott. Yeah. No, she rules She's the best. I've yet to see her Well, it's probably an hour, huh? Yeah, it's gotta be. Yeah Don't worry about it. What are you gonna say? No Where are we at Why the fuck would you do that? Why the fuck would you do that? Well, actually no not now I'm not gonna say it's an hour Well, you did it. Well Now, what do you think? Now the the listeners gonna go. Oh, that's an hour. Now I finished They're gonna bust at the end. Everybody finished go fast right now. We need you to go fast Don't go so. Oh, you're about to do it. Yes Well, goodbye Watch new episodes of matt and shane secret podcast on spotify do it