C03 - Ep. 35 - From On Hyra - Plunges, Plans, and Passing Gas

Afternoon, all you Alehouse Drakes. Squad in the Stinky Dragon and guzzle our latest gulp, Boozy Confuzy Tea. It's a mixture of intoxicating tea bags, a ringing of rag water, a slash of sugary scales, discombobulating berry syrup, a tavern tale of tavern ale, and topped with a clawful of clementine. One drip of this day's draconic draft and you'll be spilling your guts in every which way. I like it in the corner of my eye. I can see people like dancing. Previous to our adventurers rounded up relics and accumulated armor that traveled via tunnel back to Teo and Neo. They threw back together the two Thaumatechs and pieced together their paths. Next, they returned a relic to the Kindlekin and received some resources and rumors before resting. While sojourning to Sky Blue Falls Prison, they saw a strange sighting of birds and even stranger snatching of a stranger into Stone Cold Lake. Bring over a brew and let's buckle up for this bedtime tale. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon. I'm your dungeon master, Gustavo Cerola, and I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow. When do you run out of arrows? I feel like you have a cheat code on. We're not super nitty gritty in Tales from the Stinky Dragon with inventory, so we don't keep track of specific arrows. That's true. I don't make you all count your arrows down, so you're not going to make me count my arrows either. That was the one thing is Kyborg. Kyborg always ran his mouth. Blaine always runs his mouth. I never once said anything about arrow inventory, and Gus never said anything back, so I was cool. If you don't look, I'm not going to look. If the world was ending tomorrow, what would you do today? and that was submitted by Natty Wonder. If the world was ending, I wanna be next to you. 15. Beautiful. 12. I don't think I know this song. It's a Lady Gaga song. Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars, I believe. Yeah. I rolled a 15. Two. Looks like we might have a roll-off between Tolve and Doug. Yes. Okay. More of a Juno Jupiter friend guy fan myself. No? three 17 so it's going to be Toll Doug Gunther Natty oh so I go yeah hello Toll hello I'll be right back I need someone else to talk first whatever you do Micah don't take that pause out whatever you do that was the sound of transition that was like moving the gears it's me it's Blaine Gibson it's your pal it's your friend And today I will be joined by me, Tov, the Thaumatech Barbarian. Yoo-hoo. Wow. World ending today, huh? That's sad. That's bad news. Tomorrow? Great. Okay, I've got time. That's perfect. A couple things. I need to speed run finding my brothers and sisters. That's important. Secondly, I'm going to carry it around, but I'm going to take off of my Bjorn skin and Just live my life as a Thaumatech, out and proud, not afraid, showing it all, naked. He's freaking. Yes, but I'm also going to have Bjorn skin because I want to be with Bjorn. So I'm going to be running around, Bjorn skin in hand, naked in my robot Thaumatech body saying, Do not fear me. Everything is okay. The world is ending. Do not fear me. The world is ending. That always calms me down when someone just yells around while holding a person's skin. Do not fear me. Bjornskin sounds like a luxury jacket line. Like you go pick up some winter clothes and like a nice down jacket. You can buy like a Bjornskin down jacket and it's like $300. We need to sell Bjornskin now. Or IKEA, an IKEA item. Bjornskin is like your dresser that you got. Did you get a Bjornskin rug? Wow. You're going to like the way you look in Bjorn. I guarantee it. I guarantee it. Okay. Thanks, Tov. I think up next we had Doug, if I remember right. Correct. Wow. Good job, Gus. Great memory. Got to say. Yeah. Listen, I'm getting up there in years. It's going to get harder and harder as time goes on. Only we are allowed to make that joke. When you make jokes about you being old, it's not funny. It makes me sad. But when we can poke fun at you, I love it. Sorry. What do you think my last campaign is going to be before I croak? No! No! I don't like it. Are you guys going to continue to take over? No, Gus, no. We'll have an AI of Gus by that time. I was going to say, we'll have some robot playing you, Gus, I'm sure. Yoo-hoo, it's me, Gus. I always like how we joke about people getting old and stuff like that. We're all aging at the same rate. Yeah. Just Gus is way ahead of all of us. I am the age that Gus was when he met me, and I grapple with that every day. I'm almost 10 years older than Gus was when I met him for the first time. I'm almost as old as my parents were when I got married. Wow. Time, man. When is your daughter and son getting married? Anyway. Anyway. Hi, guys. I'm Barbara Dunkelman, and I play Doug Boone, the artificial bugbear. And if the world was ending tomorrow, I think Doug, man, talking is tough. Sorry, I'm just so rattled by the idea of the world ending tomorrow. I think Doug would try his best to find and make amends with his family. Because, you know, I don't want to go out of this place without, you know, really passing things up with them. but then you know i think doug's not too afraid of death especially now knowing natty and you know hearing about death and and having some comfort there and also maybe seeing his brother you know that that also provides some comfort for doug so i think he would just like really enjoy his last day read his favorite book listen to his favorite artist madonna which you guys all know about of course from a previous arrow question and just uh let it be well let it be the beatles you know okay I feel like it's very zen of you, Doug, just trying to come to grips with it and accepting it. Doug's not a really panicky person, typically. I like that. In our second wind episode, sorry, this is a shameless plug, but we also answer these arrows as ourselves. Yeah. And I'm excited about that one because I'm curious what you guys would do, but we'll have to find out in that episode. Well, we'll determine who's going to be on that episode of second wind at the end of this episode. So it'll be a battle. And if you don't know what that is, you can go to StingandDragonPod.com and support us. All tiers of support. Get access to Second Wind, which is our supplementary podcast. It comes out every other week where we talk in depth about the episode you just listened to. And our lives. And our lives. Yeah. All right. Thanks, Doug. After that, I believe, was Gunther. Hi, I'm Chris Damaris. I play Gunther, the male croak folk fighter, level six. And if the world was going to it, at first I would pray to them. a flower and I would say I would pray and see what they have to say and then I would write a word. I hate to use birds but I would use a bird to send a letter to my family and then I think I would play leapfrog. One last game. I enjoyed it much when I was younger. One more game before you croak. Yes. Did you all call it leapfrog or just leap? I'm confused. Like people in France, if they call it French kiss or French fry or just kiss in front. No, we called it leapfrog. Okay, okay, okay. Don't need to get angry. Oh, by the way, I really like the way, unrelated, I like the way Gunther says bird. I would call a bird. It's like he said something else and someone dubbed over that word. It's like early Macintosh text-to-speech. I saw Sam. I'll be the one that gets replaced. It's true. Thanks, Gunther. I think the biggest takeaway I have from yours is that you would finally trust a bird and want to work with them. And last and definitely not least, I believe we got Natty. Hey, everybody. John Reisinger here. I play Natty Wonder, who is a drow, warlock drag queen mother and if the world was ending tomorrow i honestly thinking about it i think i think i wouldn't live my life any differently than i do every single day in that every single day i try this try is a very important word here is carrying a lot of weight i try to be kind and caring and thoughtful i try to be a good mama i try to say goodbye and you choke? Try to walk away and you stumble? You guys gotta start making more musical theater references for me so I can play along. I try to say goodbye and I choke. You don't know that song? That's exactly what I was thinking, Barbara. It sounds sort of familiar. You guys gotta understand this is not where I live. He's more of a JCPenney Brown fan. I'm trying here. I don't know who that is. It's nobody. It's because Macy's. I get it. I get it. It took a second. You're making a joke about something I don't know. You know? How dare. Says John. How dare you, Blaine? Making X-Men, Pokemon, and musical theater jokes. There you go. Thank you, Barbara. Just saying those words makes me feel warmer. So, no. I was going to say I try to bring, like, try to make this world a more just and right place. and I'm sure I might spend a little extra time with Giggy since this will be the last time on this plane that I'll be able to play with him but other than that give everyone a kiss goodbye give them a hug and then look forward to what comes next this is your version of the end of the world though Giggy's going to be too busy to say goodbye because he's the one that brought it on I guess yeah but I still spend time with him whatever he's doing I want to be there. You know, it's like, do you want your parent to be there when you finally hit that home run, you know, on your T-ball team? No. It's like when he – I'm just kidding. So I want to be there when he finally, you know, does his thing. You gave me a lot of anxiety bringing up T-ball. I don't know why. Same. Sports. Same, Gus. Yeah. I was like, oh, no. weren't we supposed to answer arrow questions that we all asked ourselves that's what these are that was from natty yeah so submitted by natty wonder they have been that way for the last four recordings i guess i didn't hear the username submission i was like oh someone scored natty wonder and this the this just hey we should start the episode guys what do we do stop goofing around y'all you know what thank you blaine makes me feel better for what i forget it's it's really funny After traveling a little longer, in the distance, you see a building rising on the horizon. And you get closer and closer, and it looms larger and larger. And you see it's a prison tower of stacked cells that appears to be in the middle of an icy lake. There's a localized cloud that hails over the tower frequently, and the watchtower circles the lake and the prison on the railway. The watchtower is on a railway, and it's moving around? That's pretty cool. Sorry. The imagery of that is really dope. Sorry. Like it's like the prison and then the watchtower is going around it? Yes. I love that. It's awesome. The tower is in the center of the frozen lake. The prison is in the middle of the frozen lake. Is it on an island or is it just like on the frozen lake? It appears to be built into the frozen lake. Oh. I can't get over that imagery. If I encounter that in a video game, I'd go, whoa. Whoa. Well, Gunther, it seems we're here. How'd you get out so we can get back to you? Yeah, reverse engineer. All four of you make me a perception check. Fifteen. Sixteen. Fourteen. Sixteen. Wow, those are all really good rolls. This is a tight grouping. You're asking Gunther, Natty, you're asking Gunther for information about how he broke out and how he can get back in. When all four of you at the same time notice a humanoid in the middle of the lake. It appears to be a brawny halfling in a striped red jumpsuit, hopping between sheets of ice floating on the frigid lake. He sees you all turn around and calls out to you four. Hey, you. Hey, where you going? Come over here. The name is Kandu Cody. As you can see, I'm in a bit of a... And with a splash, the halfling is snatched into the icy lake by blue curved claws without a trace. I have a question, Gus. Yes. Do I have any historical knowledge from my time at the prison? Why don't you make me a wisdom check? What wisdom? 19. Oh, no, no. We are dealing with Gunther here. You do have a little bit of knowledge of this prison having spent some time here, question mark. You know that the, well, I guess let me ask it this way. Is there anything specific you're curious about, or do you just want, are you just more interested in broad information? I guess broad, but specifically traversing the lake. Was there like a pattern kind of like, you know? I was also going to maybe ask, too, if you know the prisoners, if they wore red striped jumpsuits. Oh, yeah, that's good. Because knowing if that was a prisoner trying to escape or something or someone else. Yeah. Last Crusade, that's what I was thinking. What you got for me? Yes. Yeah, based on your knowledge and your excellent wisdom role there, you do know that that is a convict outfit that Kandu Cody was wearing. And that there is necessarily no pattern to get across the lake. That it's just random little bits of floating ice. And that the lake is filled with vicious creatures that can strike at any time with no warning in order to grab you and presumably eat you. You know also that the watchtower that's circling on a rail has a very regular cadence, and that is the only way to access the column that's the actual prison in the middle of the lake. Having been here and seen Can Do Cody and kind of watching the places we approach, do we know the rate at which, like, one complete rotation, how long that takes? It seems to you like it's not that long. It's not a huge prison. It's basically just that one column in the middle of the lake. So a complete rotation or a complete patrol would take probably, you'd estimate roughly five minutes to get around. And you said the only way to access the prison is through that watchtower. Can you elaborate on what you mean by that? Yeah, you know that there is a, how can you phrase it, like a platform that extends and connects them. And that's how guards move in and out, and that's how supplies move in and out. Interesting. Wow, dizzying. Yeah, so we would have to hop on to the moving, rotating tower thing. Yes. Because otherwise we're going to have to navigate the ice. I mean, I'm heavy. I could blast underwater, but I don't know what's underneath there. And Doug, I don't know. Doug's, you know. I'd probably sink right to the bottom with all my hair getting wet. Natty dives to find Kandu Cody and help him. oh that guy natty goes and goes under the water oh my goodness natty no okay yeah before that natty looks around and no one's doing anything and talking and thinking and goes what's wrong with you people that's a human being they're going to your wife oh you love this stuff he's a halfling bean before uh you dive in i was about to ask for something that and you you totally can before you dive in i was about to ask everyone if everyone could make me a constitution saving throw please oh constitution saving throw that's a bad roll 12 5 13 8 it's pretty cold here you know with uh all the icy lake and it appears like there's a cloud that occasionally starts pelting hail down on the prison tower and there's just something about it it just chills you to the bone and gunther and natty both of you feel it to your core and metagame wise you gain one level of exhaustion from being in the cold weather exposed to the elements is there does doug see any sort of like i know he saw a tree but is there any sort of like bush or other trees or like wooded kind of things lying around nearby that is an excellent question. I would say pretty much no. It seems like everything has been trimmed back to allow the watchtower to move around with easy access and to kind of keep lines of sight open. Clear. But there's still that one tree? That was a ways ago. That was before you even saw the tower on the horizon. So there's nothing that we could light on fire, basically. You can make me a survival check here in a moment, but before that, I want to deal with Natty diving into the water after Can Do Cody. Alright, Natty, so you take the plunge? You do the nesty challenge? Yeah. Alright. You dive into the water and yeah, it just, it's super cold. It just like chills you to the bone. And you look around, I guess, you know, presumably you open your eyes underwater and try to see what you can see. And in the distance, how far can you see underwater? Opening your eyes under cold water would probably be like, ugh! I don't know. How do you determine that? Can your eyeballs freeze? They have liquid in them, right? Got to, yeah. Oh, jeez. I don't like thinking about that, Gus. Yeah, Gus, how dare you? How dare you? Imagine having two cold rocks in your skull. I know Chris is sensitive about eyes, and so he's like, no. Eyes and ears. Eyes and ears. I'll say in the distance, you see Kandu Cody in the grasp of what appears to be some kind of bluish crocodile. It's slender with spindly limbs and long curved claws, and it's got a rather menacing looking tail. Okay, but I'm underwater? Yeah. Okay. How far is the craft? Yeah, it's going to be a bit of distance. That's why I was kind of like wondering how far you can actually see underwater. From where you are, I would estimate it's probably roughly 100 feet or so. Well, good news. Wow. That's within my Eldritch Blast range. Wow, what's the range on that? 120. 120. Wow. Can you do an Eldritch Blast underwater? Yep, I can do an Eldritch Blast underwater. It's a force damage. It has a verbal component, however. What's somatic? It's like movement, like moving your hands or your arms. It's like a physical representation. So if you're tied, you can't do somatic. Ah, okay. Gesticulation. Gesticulating, that's a great word. So underwater can't say verbal component? Correct. Interesting. Okay. Okay. Then what if... Could I do something while you're underwater real quick? While I'm thinking, yes. Yes, while you... I'll give you a moment to think. Thank you. Could I light my torch and stick it in the ground by us to keep us warm? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You light your torch and stick it in the ground and I'll sit... Yeah, that will help a bit. Okay. For sure. Okay. Then I guess I will just like try to start swimming towards him. Okay. You know? Can I go in with Natty because I have the ability to breathe underwater? Sure. Do you swim or sink? I don't know. Probably light. It says I gain a swimming speed of 30 feet. Could Gunther hop along the ice trying to follow them without going in? Yes. So real fast, I looked up how you calculate swimming speed in D&D. And typically your swimming speed is half of your normal speed while you're swimming. So that means total of you being able to swim at 30 is actually really good. It's quite as fast as normal. Gunther you wanted to try to follow along on the top. Doug, are you going to stay on the shore by your torch? Yeah, I'm just going to stay here and watch the fire. I think I would just cause more problems if I went under there with everybody, so it's just you and me, torch. Could be your next guest on Doug on the Ones and Twos. My torch. What do you got to say for yourself? I also would be, I think, providing a lookout if anything else would like happen. Okay, how are we going to do this? So we're going to go, in my mind, I'm going to kind of go through the order. There's no initiative, but I'm going to kind of go Natty, Toll, Gunther, Doug. That's kind of the way you all said what you were going to do. Acted. Right. Natty, yeah, you start trying to swim and, you know, it's super cold. So why don't you, first of all, make me a dexterity saving throw now that you in the water and trying to move around 3020 Oh that pretty good You begin moving and making pretty good progress however just now that you in the water the cold is sapping even more of your strength and you have uh another level of exhaustion oh yeah i thought that might happen so would you get disadvantage on rolls if you have exhaustion it's it's not disadvantage we'll do the cumulative minus one so in this case since you're at two levels of exhaustion you'd be minus two So just minus the exhaustion. Okay. Okay. And you're making progress. You managed, I assume you would double move since you're not going to do anything else. So you'd be able to move 30 feet if you double move? Question mark? Okay. Okay. Toll, you dive in immediately after Natty, seeing her jump in bravely to try to rescue Can-do Cody. And you see Natty struggling a little bit in the cold water, swimming a little bit ahead of you. And then even further past that, you see this giant kind of crocodile-ish creature with Can-do Cody in its mouth, dragging him to the bottom. what do you want to do yeah well so my movement speed underwater is 30 so i would be able to catch up to natty without doing uh without a double move just doing your regular move action you catch up to natty yeah oh and also you you make me a dexterity saving throw as well i forgot because you jumped in the water okie dokie i have an advantage on that because i'm a barbarian that's a nine and uh ten and then uh i'm gonna do another one because i'm gonna do inspiration die and I don't want to die here. That's 10. Great. Great. Great. Maybe a 10's okay. You don't know. Gus, maybe. Let me make a roll first. Famous last words. Maybe. I don't know. It's like talking to a little kid when maybe means no. Maybe. The cold interferes with the workings of your thaumatech body, maybe like freezing up the liquids and the lubricants that you use to move around causing you to take nine points of cold damage. Okay. And additionally, you gain one level of exhaustion. Okay. I was going to take the damage, but the exhaustion, guys? Exhaustion? Okay. Well, once I caught up to Natty, I think I'm going to say, like, underwater, I'm going to be, like, motioning, do you want to proceed or would you like me to take you back? Maybe even, like... Describe what those motions would look like for our listeners. I'm going to point to the blue crocodile, and then I'll say, continue, like nodding my head yes. You're going to nod. Or should I say, do you want to go back? And then I motion to myself, like, carry you back. And you're, like, pointing back to the shore? Yeah, yeah. And then I say, shoulder shrug? In my opinion, Toll would be really good at charades, so I think anyone would understand what he's doing. Yeah, yeah. Wait, don't I have the ability to talk underwater? That's what I was going to say. You're a robot. Like you don't use air through vocal cords to talk. Yeah, I think. Hold on. Let me check. You probably are like a speaker is what you have inside of your mouth. Durability. I just mentioned his mouth opens and sound comes out. It was one of my favorite kind of throwaway lines in Alien Earth when someone's talking to one of the artificial characters and said, you know, this is an artificial characters getting used to their body. and they tell this artificial character, like, think of your voice as a speaker. And it's like, oh, like, that's really cool. Yeah. Did you find anything, Blaine? Not on my end. I think that makes sense to me, though. Okay, I think that was something that Mike and I kind of homeroid together when we were coming up with the Thaumatech thing. In that case, instead of, you know, I know you described what your emotions would look like as you pantomime this. Why don't you say it as if you're underwater? Well, I would have done all of those motions, and then I would say, Translation, do you want to keep going to talk about it, You want to bring your back to the shore? I can help you carry back because you look very tired. Very sleepy. Yeah, because how far? Because you moved 30, and I said it was 100, so you got about another 70 feet to go, assuming the crocodile creature doesn't move. Natty would be upset about it, but Natty would understand how speed works and be like, I ain't going to make this. And so Natty would motion like, yeah, let's go up. Okay. Up ease. Up ease. The blue crocodilian creature hisses with what strangely looks to be a smile and then dives further down to the depths of the lake as a can do Cody. Then, because it doesn't matter to me, I would lift Natty, like, up. And it's water and also total very strong, so I could just do that with a hand. And then I would start walking her back to short. Yeah. You would probably be able to make it then because... Double speed? That was essentially a double move. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, so I do that. And then I just want to go through at least one action for everyone here. So, Gunther, what would you do? You see them go out and then pick up Natty and start coming back as you're starting to make your way out. Okay. Well, then I guess I would do nothing because I was going to hop along the ice to follow. But if they're coming back, I would just run up to the ice and then try and stop and go. And then barely stop. What was that sound again? I missed it. And then Doug. You don't have to think about it like they're back now. But as it's all simultaneously happening, what would you have been doing in that moment? I'm just rubbing my hands and putting it out on the fire and rubbing my hands again and put it on the fire. Making sure it stays nice and warm for everyone when they come back so they could, you know, defrost a little bit. Also, I have my arms open, ready to give a nice big Doug bear hug and maybe a towel. Where'd you get the towel from? I think it's just like maybe my vest, which is really big on me. Oh, yeah. But you know when you're a kid and you're getting out of the pool and your parents holding the towel open for you so you can just go right into it? That's what I'm doing with my vest. Can I amend a thing that I did? Yeah. Just so that Natty feels kind of cool about it, I'll put her on my shield so that she can surf. Maybe that'll cheer her up, you know? Cool. While I'm carrying you out in the water. Natty, how's that sound, huh? John? I'm trying to visualize what you're explaining. So he's holding his shield basically up above his head so you're out of the water. And we're outside the water? And you're surfing on the shield. Well, I'm still in the water. I'm just trying to get you up so that you can breathe and you're out of the cold, cold water. Oh, okay. And I'm just walking with you with my shield above my head. I thought we would be like, we'd get up out of the water and be on ice. Oh, I don't care. I don't know. Am I wrong? No, I don't know. You guys want to make a joke. That's Gus. It's you guys. It's whatever you want to do. Oh, okay, yeah. Natty would be fine with that. Natty Lounge. It's the saddest surfer I've ever seen. I have a blanket in my inventory. That's what I would do. Sorry, not my question. Natty didn't grow up around surf culture, so Natty doesn't know what that is, you know? Okay, that makes sense. Yeah, your village probably didn't have that. John grew up around surf culture and refused to participate. I played TNC Surf on my Nintendo Entertainment System. Does that count? Hey, surf culture. I didn't know anybody who surfed growing up in California. It was not a common thing, oddly enough. You know, I lived in Puerto Rico for a little while, and I did a little bit of surfing while I was down there. A little bit of grass floor. Look at you. A little bit of bank robbing with President Mass. I must see that happen. Does anyone hear that? Why doesn't everyone make me a dexterity saving throw? Dexterity saving throw. Eight. Twelve. Goo. Goo. Seven. Why are my rolls so bad? Ten. That's with advantage. Eight, twelve, seven, ten. Yeah. So what happens to all of us? Yeah, you all hear, like, a whistling sound. Uh-oh. It's really bizarre. Oh, no. And then, without warning, a huge volley of arrows lands all around you in the area, doing 14 points of piercing damage to all of you. As you get, uh, pelted with this just, like, raining down of arrows. This sharpness. God, I'm getting ruined out here, man. I was just standing here by my fire! They see us. They guards. Is there any reason they would attack us, even though, like, we're not from the... Yes, they have guards. They attack. Oh, okay. But you know... We shall run. You hurt. Very good. Very good, Gunther. Why don't all of you make a perception check for me? Okay. Ooh, that's a nat 20. 18. 15. 17. Yeah, all the good rolls come out when it doesn't matter. It's just like when we look. It might matter. You all kind of follow back the trajectory of this volley of arrows, and you see it very clearly comes from the watchtower, which has made its turn around the backside of the prison and is now coming over in your direction, kind of wheeling along. It's easy to know where to look because we have an arrow pointing where to go because it's sticking out of our body. It's true. Hey. In the direction that it will come in. Gus, how far is that tower out of curiosity? Might not be able to do this. It's closing in. It's in the middle of the lake from where you are. It's probably at this point, let's call it about 200 feet. That's a good number you just said. Because in my mind, the crocodile is halfway in the lake at 100 feet, so I just doubled it for 200. This gets really accurate. Okay. You're talking about the watchtower, right? Not the prison? The watchtower. Correct. Yes, that is correct. We're dealing with the two towers here. On the watchtower, the watchtower itself, I would assume you said this is the entrance to the prison. So then at the base of the watchtower would be like some sort of door? I would imagine like people get in that way to go up the tower to get into the prison, right? You would presume that that would be the case, but you can't see it from where you are because it is kind of far. That's fine. Well, we either need to get further away from these arrows or we need to skedaddle and get closer to the tower. So we need to decide that right now, I think. And I think we can say last rites about can do Cody later. I have an idea. Is it snowy out here? So, yeah, there's a light snow. OK, here's what we do, guys. Everyone get under my blanket and I'll put a little bit of snow on top of the blanket. and then we'll move all together under the blanket towards the watchtower so they won't see us. We'll be camouflaged. I think that's a very good idea, but they already see us right now. Well, when the tower goes around the back, we'll be able to kind of finagle our disguise, right? I like this idea. Could we maybe retreat to a place in order to don this disguise and then make our secret approach? And yes, if you think that's a good idea, I just don't see anything to retreat behind. Oh, is there what's behind us, Gustavo? Like a tree clearing? Yeah, it is pretty cleared out, presumably to maintain good line of sight. There is no brush or shrub in the immediate vicinity. Okay. You could move just a further distance away and be out of range, but there is nothing to necessarily hide by. I think we could do Doug's plan if the tower's on its way back around so that the vision breaks. Line of sight. Line of sight breaks. Either way, we should continue to move on because even if we move out of the way right now, they're on the other side. They're going to continue to get closer. So we just need to boogie. Yeah. Just to be clear the way I described it, the watchtower has now come back around the prison tower and is now in the process of getting closer to you. It's made the part of the round where it's moving towards you. It's going to get closer and then go away. So we have two and a half minutes until it's broken its line of sight. You have two and a half minutes until it gets to you. Okay. So they shot at us when they were still on their way towards us. Yes, correct. Yeah, they're coming around and they see us so that we're in their sight. Okay. If you imagine you're at six o'clock on a clock face, they just came through 12. Okay. And they're going to go through one, two, three, four, five, six, and then seven, eight, all the way back around. Gotcha. We can still do this. Two of our compatriots have shields, right? Don't you have a shield? Yes, it is a smaller shield than you. Yeah. Okay, so here's what we'll do. We're going to Spartan this, and it's going to be Gunther and Tove in the front with shield. I'm going to get in my ring and take Giggy with me. So all that Gunther and Tove got to do is protect them and then Doug behind them. Doug, you can get just down as low as possible. I'll use my blankie. Yep, that'll do something. it protects him from the monsters at night it will protect him now yeah exactly i'll push no on it they won't be able to see me and as the rules of the blank he is we just need to retreat yeah yeah no i think we need to approach feel closer i think you're wrong i think we need to retreat and we need to regroup and come up with a plan i need i need to hear that from 12 then you should have talked about this before rushing in i'm just saying but i think we need to retreat we need to collect ourselves and then we need to come up with a plan maybe like derailing the train or whatever, but either way, it's getting closer. Let's move. Okay. Never mind. Yeah? Everybody? Yeah. Yes. I thought we should go closer because being under the tower, they won't be able to see us very well. Split the party? Nope. Do you come with me? We'll go back. We will retreat. We'll retreat. I love you guys. Okay, so the point is to retreat again, thinking about a clock face. Like, down south below the 6 o'clock or in a different direction? I guess maybe we go 5 o'clock so that we're moving further away from them. Is it going counterclockwise or clockwise? Clockwise. Then we would need to move like 7 o'clock. 7 o'clock, yeah. Either way, yeah. We just need to jet away from the tracks. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you all turn around and try to put some distance between yourselves and the watchtower. And as you begin moving, another volley of arrows hits where you were just standing seconds before, narrowly missing you all. And after that, you don't see any more volley of arrows and the watchtower continues its movement along its track you all just move the distance that's that and then you just wait right to just try to stay out of range yeah and then get under try and build that blanket with snow cover some camouflage to camouflage it okay doug why don't you make me a stealth check and we'll give you uh advantage on it okay Okay, first one was a 19. Second one was a 21. Oh, that's great. You deploy the blankie and presumably some snow falls on it. You all kind of huddle together under it. Ooh, it gets a little warmer. Not quite as bad, not quite as brutal as it was outside. And I guess you all wait a couple minutes. Can we take a short rest to recover and also load them into thinking we are gone? I'm down for that because I got shot up real bad. Give him a sense of safety. Yes. A short rest is about an hour. I think that's perfectly normal. Should we just wait until night? I mean. Well, what time of day is it right now? Well, I think you said it was six. Take an inspiration die. That was really good. That was really good. You earned that. Nice. This would be, you would consider this time right now where you are middle of the day, roughly. Wait, is there night? The sun doesn't move. Oh. Dang it. Okay, never mind. Yeah, short rest. Should we hit short rest? Short rest. Get your short rest. Does that help us with the exhaustion? Nope. What do you all want to do during the short rest? My thought was we'd build that little blanket cover thing and all just get under it to warm up. I have a loose plan. I think we have a pitch meeting where we all share our plans for how we break into this prison. We can't all go really nilly into this place. It's a heist, but with a person. And just to be clear about something you said, just to make sure that it's properly understood, the sun is sitting low on the horizon as you all continue your journey getting closer to Mido Canyon. Okay, that helps a little. Just for clarification on that. Gunther, your thought is to huddle up under the blanket during the short rest? Yeah, we're letting snow gather. And let, I guess, Tolv tell us what his idea is as well so we could kind of have a good game plan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or anyone else who has an idea. Yeah. And just, you know, I'm glad Gunther mentions that because it is still pretty frigid. You're able to kind of mitigate some of that by staying under the blanket and, you know, gathering your body heat and protecting yourself, insulating yourself with the blanket. And my torch. You're going to have the torch under the blanket? Well, just right outside of it. Okay. So it kind of emanates over to us a little bit. So a torch right outside the blanket to kind of give you some warmth. To highlight where we are. We're out of range. They will know where we are. Well, I'll blow it out before we start moving. No, maybe don't because they will think we are here. I don't want to leave my torch. Sentimental value for this torch. Well, it's just becoming handy. What if it's dark somewhere? Are we taking our short rest, by the way? Yeah. It seems like it. Okay. And to answer you earlier, Blaine, you have to do the long rest to get rid of exhaustion. Got it. Thank you, John. Ooh, unless I have this thing called the cube of concoctions. That sounds like I have a shot at maybe getting some sort of exhaustion lifting thing. Can I try that, Gus? The purpose of that item is you can place it into water and it can turn your water into random flavored potions. I'd be down for that. Yeah, let's give it a go. The worst case scenario, it's a potion that I just hold on to. I can bottle up for later. Okay. So you stick the cube of concoction in, I guess, like a water skin. Sure. You pop your cube of concoction into your water, and the water begins bubbling and kind of undergoing some kind of transformation. And when it all settles, your water is now a sickly, sweet-smelling potion. It seems somewhat thick. Ooh. Wait. Gus, say that again? Thick. The last word? Thick. With two Cs. Thick. Yeah. Exactly. Can a medicine check reveal what it does? Maybe an arcana check. Makes more sense. That's a seven. All right. Tell me what it does. Go ahead. You want me to help? Reveal yourself. You want me to help? I would love your help. Please help me. Okay. Natural 20. Whoa. Oh, Natty, this is both one of your favorite and one of your least favorite potions that you know of. This is a potion of fake death. Oh. Oh, that ain't going to help. I mean. Tove, that's fake death. It will put you in a fake state of death, but it will not get rid of your exhaustion. Do I get to meet your wife? No. Oh, okay. It's fake. Yeah. Boo. I was going to give it to you if so, but you know. No, there's a word in front of it that kind of denotes what it does. I thought it was temporary. Okay, I'll pocket this for later. Yeah. It's good for a ruse. Like, is that a food? Like for cooking? A roux? Yeah, you like make a gravy? Yeah, a roux. Yeah. It's good. It's good. A rose. Just firing all cylinders, everybody. Just doling out the yucks every second. No moment wasted. Sorry, Barbara. I'm trying to tell Gus he's funny. Gus, you're funny. Thank you, Barbara. Go ahead. Sorry, Barbara. Please, please, Barbara. You're fine. Just waiting my turn. Do we know what kind of creatures run this prison? Like who is in the Watchtower? Would Gunther know that? Oh, that's a great question. because that'll help with disguises. That is a great question. You, Gunther, you did roll well. So you remember that there are two types of guards depending on what the circumstance calls for. One of them is always covered entirely in very thick, big plate armor. So you don't know what's under there. Just a humanoid of some kind, you guess? Because it's humanoid style plate armor. The other one, however, does not have as much armor. you do know that typically the other guard is archers, which are usually human. And presumably, they're the ones who let loose those arrows that ruined your time a little earlier. And in addition to that, Gunther, during your time there, you also heard tale of a very cruel warden who runs the prison, but you never ran into them. Cruel warden. Warden mean. Yes. Warden mean. Very good. They're working on taking a level in Barbarian, it sounds like. All right, gang. I think I have a plan. All right, lay it on us. Okay, so Tove would draw on the ground, I guess, assuming that there's like dirt or probably snow. Snow. You would draw with a stick a circle, maybe a clock, and then at the top would be a 12, Tove, that's me, hello, and then a sunshine up at the top of that, okay? So this is what it looks like. No, no, describe it, describe it, no cheating. Yeah, okay, okay, sorry. So there's a clock, right? And at the 12 point is... Cheating. Is a 12, and then a sunshine above the 12. Yep. And then he would also draw the six, but these are all Roman numerals. And then he would draw a little, like, half circle thing, right? So he would say, okay, so here's the plan. Basically, if we know that the sun is going to be sitting over here, we approach from the sunny side so that the sun is in the enemy's eyes. Sunny side up. I love those. I love the energy. Shut up. Okay, so. I'm just kidding. So we approach from that way with a blanket over our heads with the snow that we've collected, right? Yeah yeah yeah And every time the train passes every five minutes we drop down we let it pass and they can really see it because they looking into the sun right And then we keep going we keep going Now, meanwhile, I will take off my Bjorn skin, we'll put it on Gambot, we'll put like a pole on top of Gambot and have him approach from the south, like the sixth side, right? He will be our diversion, and he'll be moving around, and they'll be firing all of their arrows and looking at him while we slowly sneak our way. And then once we reach the water, I will be underneath because I can breathe indefinitely and I'll put you guys on like a raft and I will push and carry you guys as we make our way to the island and we'll just look like a sheet of ice floating across the river. I love it all. I just want to be clear about geography here just to make sure we're all on the same page for this, for your plan here. Yeah, that's what I was thinking, yeah. The prison itself is a column that sticks out of the center of the lake. Right. There's no land around the base. Ooh. The watchtower that's on rails is on this outer shore where you all are approaching from. And that's the only way into the prison. That's what Gunther knows. So theoretically, once you get to the tower, that's where land or frozen land ends, Gus? Once you get to the watchtower, that is at the very shore of the lake. Correct. And then after that, it is just water and ice. The way you described it, it sounded like the watchtower was on like an inner ring along with the prison. I just want to be clear. Yeah. The watchtower is on the outer ring of the lake and there is no land in the center. It is just the prison spire sticking straight up out of the water. I see. So plan still stands, but maybe we wait on the train tracks and then we board it as they're being distracted by Gambot. But we do the same approach from going in from the sunny side. Yeah. Yeah. We do have to, I think, infiltrate the tower ultimately. I agree, Doug. I have some things I could do to distract him. I have stuff that could make an odor, perhaps a stinky fart. Oh, fart, yes, yes. Make it smell nice and eggy to really distract. Bringing out bad smell could really distract people and make them just lose concentration. Bringing it back to sunny side like Gunther said. Gunther, that's your part of the plan. I love eggs. Yes, yes. Eggy. So you're saying once we get in the tower to get. Oh, OK. Yeah. So let's do that. Let's do that. I also I just want to point out if I leave Gambot out there, I got to get it. I got to get him back at some point. I don't you know. Oh, he's my guy. Naturally. It also as a fellow, you know, mechanical being. I care deeply for Gambot. So, of course, I will advocate for Gambot. I just think he's he's going to be a great distraction because if he has, you know, Bjorn's skin up above him, they'll be aiming for Bjorn. They won't be aiming for his feet. Yeah. I think Gambot should hear this plan directly from you, Tollv. And I think Doug takes Gambot out and just holds him up to Tollv. Yeah. And I think Gambot would have the sweetest little blank smiley face just staring at you as you tell him he's about to sacrifice himself, essentially, for us. Oh, my God. This is... Okay. Gambot, I'm going to say this in ways that you will understand, okay? Beep beep beep boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop. One zero zero one zero one zero zero one one one one. Beep beep boop boop boop. Boop, boop, boop. Oh, sorry. I got to turn him on. One second. Take an inspiration dive, Barbara. That's really good. That's comedy. Okay, okay. Got that cam bot? And he just bounces his little head up and down. Okay. That's a hot spot. He's in. And then also I have Tolv has some fun little things. He has those spider silk stockings of spider silk, which means I can climb sheer walls. So I could carry someone on my back, you know, while we're trying to go up the tower. I would say probably we should do our best to keep Gunther from being seen just because he is technically wanted. So if we're going to try to protect and hide anyone of us in particular, it should probably be him. I could use my no disguise. Very convincing. Oh, and yes, Nunther. Oh, yes, yes. And Natty could still go into the ring and then, you know, just be super easy to carry through. Right, Natty? Yeah, I could do that. If you want. If you have something better. I was going to say I could fly, but I'll get in the ring. You know, I'd like a break out from the cold, honestly. It's quite nice in the ring. We could throw you up there like a Pokeball, you know, and say, Natty Wanda, I choose you. Yeah, I'm down with that. Use Eldritch Blast. It's super effective. Yeah, I'm like a Kangaskhan with a little baby, too. I see more of a chancy, but yeah, it's okay. So the plan is to go into the tower, the guard tower, not the prison tower. Right. Because the guard tower that's moving around has a platform that connects out over the lake. Okay. And just to be clear, the platform is not always extended. It does extend when necessary. Ah, so we're going to have to deploy that. Gus is going to keep adding these additives like, they only extend it once a year? No, no, no. So you're not there on the right day. there's a secret code these are things I mentioned in passing which now as it's coming out these are more important so I just want to make sure we're clear and on the same page reminders and because you guys were taking a long rest they had McAfee install a firewall which in this time is literally just a wall of fire of course it will keep us warm All right, let's execute. Plan Tove is using Doug's blanket. Yeah, what's the plan called? What's the code name for the Operation Tove? It's got to be Operation Vorm Blanky. Okay. Operation Vorm Blanky is a go. Hands in the middle. V-O-R-M. First, correct me if I'm wrong. I'm just going to start going through the first step here. The first step would be you all are going to leave Gambot here, where you have taken your short rest with the Bjorn skin. And then the rest of you are going to make your way out so the sun is behind. So you're between the sun and the watchtower, correct? Yeah, our backs are to the sun. Okay. And you're leaving the torch here with Gambot, so their attention is also drawn over here, correct? I think I would probably extinguish the torch and just take it with me. Okay, I know the torch was important to you. That's why I'm trying to make sure I understand all the ins and outs. Sentimental value. Her father gave her that torch. Him. Him. We also... Don't just not like that father. What? So, and then the rest of you, under the warm blanket, begin making your way around the lake. So, why don't you make me... Collectively, everyone make a stealth check. will call this a group stealth check. Okay. I think I also... I think I have advantage on stealth because I'm sneaky. That sounds familiar. That's great because I will equal you out with my disadvantage in which I rolled a one. Yeah, I am proficient in a stealth skill check. I don't know if that means I have advantage. No, that's just proficient. 17. Did you roll, Natty? Oh, I didn't say what I rolled. I rolled a 15. And is that with the exhaustion? Everything I'm saying, I'm taking the exhaustion into account. Mine is a 17. I rolled a 10. I'm going to use my inspiration dice that I just recently acquired. 26. Wow. That's very good. That's a good roll. And I want to be clear here, Toll, you rolled twice there. Is that because of your exhaustion? Disadvantage. I just have disadvantage because... Oh, right, right. That's right. Okay. Yeah, we got into that whole thing. I forget. Yeah, why do you have disadvantage? Because Mike and Gus hate me. This is one of the reasons. It's because of your Thaumatech. Mechanical. Remember, your cover almost got blown in an early episode because you had disadvantage. I asked you why, then Chris started looking through your character sheet. Oh, yeah. You're made of armor. Basically, yeah, as a Thaumatech, you're made of armor, so you have disadvantage on it. He just made a medal. Yeah. It ended up not tipping him off enough, and knowing we kind of passed over, I think he got edited out, but he's like, oh, you've got Durabuild, which means oh my god oh my god yeah i was like stop looking at my character sheet stop it he's like no no no it's fine it's fine yeah okay so we had oh is this before you revealed you're a robot yes yes he almost blew it up oh oh it was in andridge bay somewhere i think it was like a couple episodes before if i remember right anyway for what it's worth didn't notice a thing gunther you had what like a 26, 12, a 4, Doug a 17, and Natty yours was pretty good, right? 15. 15. Collectively, yeah, you all did well enough where we'll say the group stealth check succeeded. So you make your way around and position yourself appropriately according to Operation Warren Blanky and begin working on your timing for the watchtower. And how does that work exactly? Do you all have any way to look outside from the blanket, or do you lift it, or how do you ascertain when the tower's in certain positions? I imagine, like, we are lifting it enough so we can see the base of it. Yeah, we're crouched and approaching. I think Gunther's short enough that he can see out. And, like, from a guard looking down, you're not going to see it lift up. I don't mean, you wouldn't. Yeah. I mean, what, do they have a kyborg up on their side? They're not that good. Yeah, that makes sense. So you begin timing it and starting to slowly make your way closer to the tower. And just for the movement and just trying to get closer again, I'm just going to make you all make one more group stealth check. The first one was to get into position. The second one is to actually get closer and see if you're able to close the distance and get up to the rail to be prepared. 24. 9. 21. 16. Okay. Despite Toll's best efforts, once again, the group stealth check succeeds. And you're able to position yourself just on the side of the railway as you wait for the watchtower to get close. I'm just going to give my key PC a kiss real quick just to make sure it'll stop you. Don't turn Operation Warm Blinky into Wet Blanket. Okay, so you all are positioned how you want to be close to the rail. are there any final preparations you want to make or any last minute things you want to do? This is your chance I'm giving you before I say the watchtower comes in close. How tall is it? How tall is the watchtower? If you had to estimate, you would say it's about 30 stories tall. And it's pretty much the same height as the prison. Are there windows or anything that we could like... Wow, okay. So we can like not have to climb sheer 30 stories? On the watchtower? Uh-huh. You aren't sure yet. You'll probably know very soon. Okay. And there's the door. presumably you assume so oh yeah do we see like an entrance as it passes by us or gets closer i'll say at this point you've had enough chance to take a look at that and yeah we'll say that there is some kind of entrance what why don't you help me with that doug uh what what does the entrance look like to the watchtower okay i would say the entrance looks like kind of like one of those doors with a rounded kind of archway top. But it's a steel door that just has like one of those push things. So it's like no handle, but you just kind of push it open. Okay, like a push bar? Yeah. Okay, there's your door. Would Natty be in the ring or were you going to be out and about? Natty's flexible. Maybe wait until we get inside and then Natty poops open. Because I was going to say, I have the spider silk. Oh, my God. Stockings with spider silk. I'm so sorry. so i could have like gunther on my back and natty like in my mouth like like you know like like a knife you know when you're going to the water and like an action movie but it'd be the ring oh you just wear on your finger i was gonna say it's literally a wearable item but wouldn't it be cool if i went what happens if you accidentally swallow it that would be difficult passing well i don't i don't think i want to play that game well you're going to be stuck in there for eight to nine hours. Have you guys ever seen the movie The Substance? I was thinking more like inner space is what it is at that point. You know that episode of the magic school bus? Something like that. I think I'd rather be worn outside of a open orifice. Too late. Uh oh. Okay. I would wear you on my pinky. Thank you. Thank you. Doug, how would you... I'm curious how Doug is... I know I could carry Gunther. I don't know if I could carry Doug and Gunther. I don't think you have to carry me. I think... You got it. I'm sneaky. I'm proficient in stealth. I'm mostly like the moving train. How are we like... Doug's a bugbear. Yeah. And bugs and bears are good at climbing. So I got to assume... That's a great point. That's logic. He's like double good. But also, I would think that when we're at the base area of a tower, They're not going to see us unless they're literally looking out a window straight down. Oh. So I think from line of sight, we're pretty good. Are they distracted by Gambot? Have you spotted Gambot? I mean, we don't know. Yeah, I'm trying to figure out how you'd be able to tell that. He gets to us and he has like 18 arrows inside of him. I mean, I think Bjorn's skin is going to be in need of repair. Oh, no, Tov. Uh-oh. Why don't you make me a perception check? Total. Nat 20. 23. Yeah, every now and then you feel like you see a volley of arrows head out to the six-clock position where Gambot is. Okay. Yeah, we'll say that's it. The watchtower is approaching. Everyone roll initiative just so I have an order for you guys to act in. You get it. Okay. And I'm in my Noel costume, which is really just skin of fur of Doug and a hat. Okay. Looking gorgeous. I got a four. Nine for Natty. Eighteen. Ten. Okay, so it looks like it's going to be Toll with 18, Gunther with 10, Natty with 9, and Doug with 4. Sorry, I think I said that backwards. Gunther with 10, Natty with 9. Okay, the watchtower comes careening around on the rail tracks, getting closer to you, Toll, and it's within reach. What do you want to do? Gunther, are you on my back? I guess so, yeah. Okay, so with Gunther on back and Natty on pinky finger, I would wait until the last possible second where it's like right there. Match speed with the train, run up, and then would jump on and then activate my stockings of spider still to stick on and make sure that I'm like really secure. And start making my way to the closest door. And just a reminder for our listeners, there's a pair of Thaumatec stockings that's made of spider silk, and it's extremely sticky. And it allows the wearer to adhere to surfaces and grants the ability to climb sheer surfaces. Don, don, don, don, don. Oh, yeah. It's like the Glossy Gloss protocol, right? Yeah. Yeah. Chris, really like that. And I'll have my shield out kind of like ready to block. Okay. So why don't you make me, you're going to need to check just to like kind of run and jump here. 12. Let's take a look here. What makes sense? Why don't you make me an acrobatics check? Okay, let me kiss my computer real quick. Hold on. That's a six. Didn't like it. You had to ask first. Wow. Okay. Poor Kristen. I will get you some new RAM if you're so, so nice and good to me. Okay, so you get Natty on your pinky. You got Gunther on your back. You really make sure they're secure. And, you know, you're really making sure that Gunther has good grip on your back. And as a result, you kind of miss the watchtower. It gets further away than you expect. As it gets closer, you realize it's going faster than you thought. And you look up at it, and it's starting to haul away from you. And you begin sprinting after it, trying to catch up to it. But your foot hits a rock that's partially submerged in the snow. And you fall to the ground right at the base of the tower. unless there's like an inspiration die that somebody wants to give me oh i have one sure okay thank god uh-oh maybe that didn't happen what was it it was dexterity two timelines two timelines uh we said i think i said acrobatics is what i said acrobatics here we go i'm not going to kiss you but i'm gonna give you a nice friendly pat computer that's a 22 there you go you shake it off told you realize that that you know that was just the intrusive thoughts and the bad, your lack of self-confidence, and you see that you do actually indeed have plenty of time, and you've timed it perfectly, and you run up to the watchtower as it comes along on the rails, and you make a jump, and you adhere right to the side of the watchtower. Perfect. Gunther, I assume you're just, like you said, using your shield to block or be prepared? Yeah, we'll just have it out in case anything comes our way. He's along for the ride. And then Natty, what's it like in the ring? What are you up to? I got a stack of magazines that I like to pull out. And I kind of thumb through those, do the little quizzes, maybe find a crossword puzzle. Read your horoscope. Read my horoscope. It's like lounge music and a nice fire. Yeah, there is. It's like one of those, I can't, you guys said the name of what it is, but it's like those old lounges where it goes down a level, a step. Oh, a conversation pit? A pit, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then there's like a little, a little like one of those like column fireplaces in the middle. Cozy. I would you ever leave. I know. Yeah. And Gigi's in there with me. And Captain Grumbles. I probably should have asked this sooner, but it's like private parts with us. No, private parts stayed behind at Fort Hendricks. Okay. We are down to just Captain Grumbles. Okay, everybody. You all are. Remember, you all got promoted. You're corporals now. And you've got your own privates. You've got sent ahead. Right. To the front line. Oh, that's right. Okay. I remember that. That's everyone except for Doug. Doug, you have just watched Toll run off and adhere to the side of the watchtower. What's your move? I think I would just keep my blankie over my head and run towards the door. Because I think I could see that it's a push. And then I'll just have to push it open. All right. You go and run up to the door and give it a push. and you should have you just to try to match speed with the tower you should make a check too maybe not acrobatics i will say that uh but based on my calculation of speed and uh my speed and everything like that i would calculate the exact time to take off and the angle to go i think that's the that's the part you've got down why don't we make let's call it a slide of hand check to see if you're able to give the appropriate amount of force to push open the door uh as the watchtower is trundling along. I'm going to use an Inspiration 9. That was a 7. Slide a hand once again. Okay, a 10. 10. Okay. A 10. Yeah, you run up to it and you give it a push and it doesn't open, but then you pull on it and you realize it's actually a pull door. Why would they put a push bar on it if it's a pull door? The amount of times I've seen this and just bad user design and just... And then you pull it, which is totally counterintuitive. It's the wrong kind of hand. Whatever. You pull it, and the door opens, and you're able to hop on in. There's even that little metal rectangle. That would indicate a push. It says push. That's how they keep people out. I was going to say, that definitely would deter people. Gus isn't able to do backseas at this point, so I'm happy to say that I'm quite surprised that it's not locked. Hey, he told me to describe the door. I'm the one who's a person. They're the new guy. No backsees. I said it. No backsees. Well, if you think about it, logically, why would they want to stop anyone from coming in? They want to stop you from going out. Sure. Yeah. That's exactly it. I'm not going to argue against this. All right. You hop in and look around. And it's a very sparse room that you're in, Doug. There doesn't seem to be much in here. A couple of crates, and it's made out of stone, so some masonry work on the inside, and what appears to be a pulley system of some kind. Okay. And do I know that Tolvan, Gunther, and everyone are on the perimeter of this building? Because of the initiative, you would have seen them hop on right before you acted. So you went pretty much immediately after them and hopped into the tower. Okay. I think I'd probably just hold the door open for them so that they could get in and not be fooled by the push. Oh, it's a pole. Oh, my gosh. What are we doing? What kind of bad design is this? I'll throw Gunther and Natty's ring in and hop in myself. And Gunther obviously sees the ring flying and grabs it with his tongue and eats it. Ooh, it's an egg. And then Natty appears and is briefly covered in a green frog skin. It's not easy being green. Okay, yeah. You all... It the Ant and Thanos effect Yeah Those aren the only one who can wear skin You find yourself inside the base of this circular watchtower Again the walls are made of stone with mortar. It's very bare in here. There's a couple of crates and what appear to be like ropes hooked up to a pulley system in more or less kind of like the center of the room. Could I see where the pulleys might lead to from in here, or do they seem to kind of go through something and you can't tell? Yeah, you can absolutely tell. Just for fun, make me a perception check, Doug. 23. One of these days, Gus is going to say, this roll can't be for fun, okay? No fun. This is for realsies, guys. This is it. Yeah. For tragedy. For sadness. Make her roll me a B20. It looks like, Doug, you know, you have a very mechanical mind. You have a very analytical thought process. And it looks to you. So does Toll. Yeah, true. it looks to you like this pulley system is connected to some kind of internal platform that goes up and down through the inner core of this tower. Would I maybe be able to figure out that that was the platform that leads from this watchtower to the prison? You don't think that's the case? It seems like this goes vertically. Like to get up... It's how they get their Mountain Dew up to their... To get up inside the tower, right? This pulley system does not extend out horizontally. So this would not be able to get you across the lake, but this will be able to get you to move around inside the tower. Oh, like kind of like a... Yeah. Yeah, dumbwaiter. I saw Barbara pantomime climbing. You could climb the ropes, I guess, but there's also a platform as well. Well, guys, I think this might be how we get up to the top. Might alert the guards maybe you told you should climb because we are already prepared for that. What do you think? Is there a clear way to climb up without using this? Like, are there stairs? Is there like is it like hollow all the way up or is there like so you just want to know basically if there's other options other easy options to get up yeah you don't see any stairs necessarily but tol is wearing those stockings uh spider silk so for him it would be pretty much a non-issue okay yeah i mean your calm dog i mean do you feel like you could operate this quietly and stealthily because I mean, I could use these to just climb us up, but I could easily take up Natty and Gunther. Well, is this something that, like, someone could get into and poly themselves up with, or does it have to be controlled from the bottom? You think you could rig it so you could control it while on the platform? Well, maybe, like, some of us get on the platform and then told maybe you and Gunther, maybe Natty go ahead, and then, like, I'll be right behind you kind of thing. That's a good idea. I don't want to split us up, but I do want to be close behind in case anything happens. I say we let Natty out of this very fancy, cozy ring place. And then, yeah, me and Gunther can scout ahead in each floor, give you the thumbs up for you to, like, safely approach. And then you can back us up if you hear that we're, like, in a fight or something. Do I see any gears that I could maybe, like, oil up so that they're quieter? Oh, that's a good question. Yeah, you see some. You had a good perception check. Yeah, you see some here at the base, some gears and the pulley. However, knowing the way, if this system works the way you expect it to work, there's probably a comparable system at the top on the other end too. So anyone at the top would see it moving. I also, this might be a good time to use it. I have a potion of gaseous form. maybe i use it here because doug is pretty big and pretty obvious yeah use the item i have two pokemons then i have a natty and a dog is it something that like if i take a potion could i like break it whenever i wanted to because it lasts for an hour yeah the the way that this spell works is you can end it uh as a bonus action so it lasts for a maximum of one hour or until you end it. And then once you end it as a bonus action, like, there's no time left. That's it. The spell's just over. Okay. I think maybe the plan is I take this potion, I turn to gas, I go up, you guys climb, and we just avoid this little pulley system altogether because I do agree with Gunther it might alert the guards. Oh, yeah. I didn't even think about you going ahead. That sounds great. Yeah. The problem is I, you know, I'm probably going to stay that way for safety and then reappear if needed. I think you'll know the time. Yeah. Cool. Let's go, team. Doug drinks his potion of Gash's form. So you become a misty cloud for the duration. Your only movement while you're in this form is a flying speed of 10 feet. While you're in this form, you can enter and occupy the space of another creature. You have resistance to non-magical damage, and you have advantage on strength, dexterity, and constitution saving throws. I'll send you all of this garbage if you have it. You can pass through small holes, narrow openings, and even mere cracks, but not liquids. You treat liquids as if they're solid surfaces. You cannot fall and you remain hovering in the air even when stunned or otherwise incapacitated. While in the form of a misty cloud, you cannot talk or manipulate objects and any object you are carrying or holding can't be dropped, used, or otherwise interacted with. You cannot attack or cast spells. I wonder how can-do Cody is doing. I figured you like smash cut to a crocodile underwater. There's like burps and then like little bubbles come out. Or can Cody and the crocodile have fallen in love underwater? I like that version better, yeah. Okay, so Doug downs the potion and becomes a gaseous cloud. And Toll, you are carrying everyone up the side of the inside of the watchtower, correct? I put the team on my back, Gustavo. And we've all been there, am I right? and you begin slowly climbing up. Emphasis on slow because Doug can only move. Doug's flying movement speed is 10 feet. So it's going to take a little while, but no rush. If this is 30 stories, 300 feet, what is that? Like 30 rounds at six seconds around. That's three minutes. Not too bad. That's not bad. Three minutes to climb up to the top. What if Gunther uses his shield to waft him even faster? and just Gunther and Toll were blowing too. Yeah, but then you run the risk of splitting Doug into two clouds and then when it reforms, you have two Dougs that were half-sized of the previous Doug. Oh my God. Oh no. Oh my gosh. It would be Doug and Doug. How many Dougs could we make? That'd be cool. Oh my God. That would be fun. All right. Anyway, anyway, I'm getting distracted. Too many. Doug and Dig. Stop. When you were a child, Doug, were you named Dig? No, that was just a nickname. People would like to insult me and go to answer Dig a Doug. The pet's named Dog. I start crying and it rains on you guys. When you die, will you be Dog-ed? Nailed it. Anyway, you all eventually reach the top of the tower. And from where you are on the inside, it just appears to be a wooden ceiling with a hatch in the middle. Well, we're probably going to encounter enemies on the other side of this. So I think I would kind of communicate that to the rest of the team. but I'm still able to climb so I would just get ready to open the door then. I'd be able to fly through there, right? Because I'm gas? What about the wind? Presumably there are, like even, it's wood so it's not airtight. The gas would still be able to seep through there so you would be able to get through just fine. So just so I'm clear, what's the plan here? Are you going to open the door? Who's opening the door? Like what's the order? You could do recon. I could also, yeah, like do a, well I'd have to break my gaseous form to do a distraction, but... You could play a ghost. No. Am I able to talk? No, sorry, I forgot. Okay, I think I would just still seep through to just take a look. Doug's going to be a ghost, and Tov will do the voice, and he'll change his voice box in his throat to sound like distant echoing. Yes, like this. It's like when you play Peek and you become a ghost. and you're just like floating around okay yeah i would see through i think to see it's too late to say it now i just want to throw this out there it would be fun if tol could physically remove his voice box and like sneak it up there that way it sounds like it's coming out uh from that side but oh literally throw your voice yeah literally oh yeah You see through the floorboard. Well, to you is the ceiling, but to the other side is the floorboard. You see through the wooden floor slash ceiling and come out on top. And you find yourself on top of the watchtower. You sure it's not a glass ceiling that I'm breaking? Hey. And you look around and you can see that there are numerous guards up here. How many do I see? We'll say there are six. Six. And are they the archers or the one in the heavy plate armor? These appear to all be archers. Okay. Six. So like six archers and that's all I see. I have thoughts. If we break anybody out and we're going to try to get away, these guys are going to stop us. So we're going to have to take these guys out eventually. They shot first. They did. Oh, also, I should be clear. Let me give you a little more flavor here, Doug. I felt like I did you a disservice there. And additionally, on top of the watchtower, you look around and you can see what appeared to be a couple of spotlights that kind of focus light so it helps them see out in the distance. Okay. Like that's probably how they saw us and stuff like that to shoot at? Presumably, yeah. And additionally, you also see some kind of mechanism. You're not sure. Make me a intelligence check. 23. You see a mechanism that, again, as an artificer, you're familiar with these kinds of things. You see a mechanism that you assume would be in place to extend some kind of plank from inside the tower up and then down and over to reach out. And it's got what looks to be some kind of counterweight system on it. So you assume that using the counterweights can reach out quite a long distance and hold a substantial amount of weight on it. So like a bridge essentially from... Yeah, but it's not deployed. It's currently stowed, but you think that you see how it could come out and then over and extend. Okay, so I figured out how to use that when the time comes, we'll say. There are some things I could do with my magical tinkering that could help distract these guys, but I think ultimately, like, if I just appear in here by myself, they might gang up on me. So I think I'd probably yass back through the floor slash ceiling and then re-dugify myself. Although there's nothing to hold on to, right? That's exactly what I was going to ask. Okay. I would just, is there a way for me to like tell them how many people there are? So I was thinking about this, Gus. Can I propose something? They shot at us several times. So we would know how many arrows were shot in one volley, correct? You could probably get a rough estimate, sure. Yeah, typically when I'm shot at, I count the number of... Yeah, let's assume that they have 100% accuracy and all of them land in the area. Sure. They could also see me as a gaseous form, more or less, right? Yes, they could see that you're a misty cloud, but it is also snowing and kind of foggy. There's a lot of condensation for people exhaling. So I think in clear weather, you would really stand out, but here you're kind of obscure. Cool. He could just pop the eye part of his cloud up. Or just nod or shake. Oh, I see what you're getting at. But she's just kind of peeking out underneath above the floorboards. You know, like when you're clipping through a video. I want to circle back with Chris and make sure he completes his thought here. Yeah, that was just me saying, like, in theory, we could have had a rough estimate of how many guards there are, right? Make me intelligence check, Gunther. A five. You think there's probably about 40 guards. 40 guards. Oh, my goodness. Big fight on our hands. Remember, there were so many arrows. How about if. And then to circle back real fast to, I think, what Barbara was getting at there. Yeah, so on the outside, the guards wouldn't be able to see you very well. But inside, you know, once you're in the tower, yeah, you are more visible in here. There's a little bit of smoke and dust, but you are discernible. Okay. I think I would float back down to my party and just kind of like bob up and down a bit and like trying to get them to ask me yes or no questions. Okay. Are there guards upstairs? Okay. He bobs up and down. Heard there, 40. He's very excited. Shakes from left to right. There is more than there's 50. Oh, my God. Shakes from left to right. 60. 70, 80. I'm going to hold up my fingers, and I need you to tell me how many there are. So I hold up one, two, three, four, five, six. Six, Bob's up and down. 60 guards, my God. Oh, no. Shanks again, left to right. Oh, only six? Bob's up and down. Oh, this is not so bad. We can do that. So dumb. So dumb. Okay. I mean, we can execute the plan. We can throw. I see a world where all four of us get in a surprise attack. Yes, I say we toss some over and then keep some so we can put on their armor and disguise. I actually have surprise attack. But if I hit a creature that has not taken a turn yet in the current combat, it takes an extra 2d6 damage. Nice. It's a surprise attack. Surprise attack. Exactly. Think you were clarifying? Yeah. So we could, you know, quietly climb out. I could slide Natty's ring out and then Doug can go appear someplace else and then Gunther, you and I could also appear like on the other side. We could just divide. Hop. Yeah. Hop, hop. I have a plan. Doug cannot talk. Oh. I can't tell them. So I'm just going to do it. Yeah, okay. Doug gasses up to upstairs. And then is there a way he could see if like they're all facing away? So like he's behind them? I'll say this. Make me a. I tell you what. This is just Doug's luck. I'm going to, let's homebrew this. Roll me a d20, and if it's 13 or higher, Doug has good luck. Oh, no. I think no one happens if it's bad luck. That's a big one. You come out, and right as you come out and look at them, they're all facing out away from the center of the tower, but then three of them stop and turn their face inwards to kind of huddle and shield themselves from the wind and the cold. So they have all of the different angles covered on the top of the watchtower. All right. Well, after you guys, I think Doug will just hover there and wait for, I think, everyone to come up through the floor. So this latch thing, is it like, I mean, I guess I'm climbing like Spider-Man, so it doesn't super matter. Maybe I like tap Natty's ring a couple times, creak open the latch, and then toss the ring out and then follow quickly. And nothing happens because we never determined that was the cue for getting out of the ring. You have no idea what's going on. You're just hanging out. And for the rest of the fight, Natty doesn't involve herself with it. She is just like, wait, can you not hear us? JC Pinney's, wow. Actually, yes. One of the specificities of it is I can hear everything going on. So you can talk to me, actually. Okay. Natty Vonder, I choose you. Deploy in five seconds. Open latch, slide ring out. And then I fall. Natty miscounts and deploys right now as, like, you're throwing it. Natty plummets to the bottom of the tower. And then I open the latch and then let Gunther out. And then I climb out very quickly after. All right, Doug, you see your party breaching the top of the tower. Okay. I think Doug would turn into Doug. Doug re-Dougifies. Here. and would take a little rock out of his pocket and imbue it with the most stinky, foul-smelling, disgusting, eggy odor. Yes. And deploy it right in the center of all the guards. Stinky fart part of the plan. Perfect. Yes. Bosco, I told you to stop eating beans on your shift. That's it. I'm going to jump off this. I'm going to eat a butter finger. The reference from our Discord event. That's such a very narrow reference because of the people that were in that. Chris doesn't even understand. Yeah, Chris wasn't even there. That's just for the super stinky. Yeah, stinkydragonpod.com. You all hop out, and Natty jumps out from the ring. Doug reforms into a solid mass and tosses a stinky stone. Gunther, I feel like, does a combat roll out from the hatch ready to attack, and Tolv jumps out very menacingly with no skin, just pure Thaumatec rage. Cool. It seems like you have caught the guards by surprise. And all four of you make me a perception check. Oh, no. Oh, my God. Seven. Thirteen. Four. Seventeen. Tolv and Natty, you notice some unusual snowflakes starting to fall. They're not pure white snow like all the others, There's like little small black specks falling as well, intermingled with the white snow. And as you look closer, you realize it's a swarm of skiders. Flying spiders are descending down on the top of the watchtower, covering all of you and the floor. What? Is this like a natural occurrence? Yeah, it's like a swarm of spiders with eight tiny talons and oozing beaks and hairy wings. And why are they here? What the heck? Were these part of the defense system or was it the fart stone? We'll find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. Oh. Skyders. I think the Fartstone summoned them, you know? I think that the Skyders love Fartstone. They're here for the buffet. All right. Well, thanks for listening, everybody. We'll be back next time. Find out what Skyders are and why they're here. What will become of the guards? And what of Sky Blue Falls Prison? Find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. It's the most wonderful time of the year. That's right. Stinky-uary is coming up all month long in February. You know, as we call it, Stinky-uary. We'll be celebrating all things Stinky Dragon. We've got some fun live streams in the works each week, and we'll be releasing new content, making some exciting announcements about what to look forward to in 2026. Keep an eye out on StinkyDragonPod.com, our social media channels at StinkyDragonPod, and on our YouTube channel for all the details. New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel. Want to listen to the show 48 hours early and ad-free? You can support us by becoming a patron at StinkyDragonPod.com or join us as a member over on Beacon.tv. both give you early ad-free access and member-only Discord for their respective platforms. Looking for even more stinky content and community perks? Our Patreon offers exclusive bonus shows, behind-the-scenes content, access to the Stinky Dragon Discord, members-only livestream, stinky community events, and a shout-out on the show. Just like Carter Orellana, Carter Oriana, something like that. Megan Boyce, Captain Guillaume, and the Bender Snatch. Love your Netflix show. These patrons directly support the show, get ad-free episodes, access to our patron-only Discord server, bonus content like second winning behind the screen and other stinky perks. That's over at StinkyDragonPod.com. We're incredibly grateful for your support, which makes this show possible. Some of our friends voiced NPCs this episode and listeners who interacted with us on the Stinky Dragon Discord had NPCs named after them, like Can-Do Cody, named after Cody Bickford, voiced by Andy Blanchard, at Andy underscore Blanchard. This week's Arrow Question was submitted by Natty Wonder. This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and Micah Reisinger, written and composed by Micah Reisinger, and edited by Alina LeCourcik. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon. So you become a misty cloud. That's what I was looking for, the actual description. Can I tell you what I imagined? Yeah. Doug farts, but then keeps farting until he farts himself out. That's the weirdest astral projection ever. And as he farts, Doug's physical body gets smaller and smaller and becomes more and more gas. It's like when you let a balloon go and it goes like... Yeah. But it becomes the air it's exploding. Mike, I'm very excited about that sound design. I am imagining that I am a cloud that you guys could clearly see that has my eyeballs and mouth. For some reason, your eyebrows. Yeah, of course. Yeah. You got to see me emoting. Cumulus nimbly. Cumulus nimbly. All right. And that's an animation moment. Everyone go ahead and mark that time code. Mark that. There we go. Perfect. Thank you.