Shoot 'Em Up

Eh, what's up, Glock? We saw. Shoot him up, so you know what that means. Now it's time for How Did This Get Made? We're gonna have a good time, celebrate some failure, not just be a hater. Can't you know you wonder, how did this get made? Let's wallow in the mediocrity of subpar art. Perhaps we'll find the answer to the question, how did this get made? Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made? where we deconstruct bad movies normally picked by us, but today picked by you. That's right. The listeners voted and they decided that we would talk about a movie that I think is criminally underrated from 2007, a film called Shoot Em Up about a man named Mr. Smith who delivers a woman's baby during a shootout and then is called upon to protect the newborn from an army of gunmen. I mean, that is the plot. This movie is insane and I love it. And we're going to break it all down here today with my two co-hosts. Please welcome Jason Manzoukas and June Diane Raphael. How are you both? Wow. I mean, incredible. Yeah, actually, knowing that this was picked from the Discord, the elusive Discord, I didn't know where the Discord is, to be quite honest. Who knows? Who knows where the Discord lives? But knowing it's picked from the Discord, I'm like, this is a gift for us. Yes. From the community. By the way, this is the first time I'll say that the Discord has done something right. You know, I feel like every other time I've heard about the discord, it is to say disconnect the discord, which I still believe. I say shut it down. But in this instance and maybe forever in this single instance of, you know, a clock is right, a broken clock is right twice a day. This is one of them. So what did they make us watch the last time? They made us watch A League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Oh, right. Which we were, which we really, the worst. Now, here's what I'm going to say. There was some manipulation here. Now, I have some issues, but I'm going to talk about the manipulation first. Wait, it was rigged? Well, I believe it was rigged because if you watch it. The Discord is rigged. That's so classic Discord. Yes, because. Classic Discord. Stop the steal. Or maybe don't stop the steal. If this was rigged, there are some situations it's sort of like I remember, you know, when Eric Holder came out with Barack Obama to like talk about redistricting. And I will say this about the Democrats. Like we've done our own redistricting here and there. Sure. OK, sure. OK, so it's like there are certain times where a little bit of manipulation, a little bit of not playing by the rules is what you have to do to get the job done. OK. All right. OK. And I think that might be what's happening. Listen, if there's a little bit of rigging, if there's a little bit of I'm talking old school Chicago style. That's what I'm talking about as backroom politicking. I'm cool with it you know if it gives us this but I don't know if the last one was rigged and that's how we got League of Extraordinary Gentlemen I don't trust the system I mean we are going to be redistricting the discord so we are moving people who can vote when they can vote it's some complicated thing that's happening right now we are moving people around Scott and Molly are going to switch I don't know what that means but we are We're just working a lot of things behind this. We're gerrymandering the Discord? It looks like we are living in a failed state. And this might be an opportunity, you know, if we're governing the Discord to sort of create a template that actually works. Well, I want to lay it down. Yeah, go ahead. I was going to say, and I hate to bring this up. We were not elected. We appointed ourselves. No, we appointed ourselves. So I don't even know what kind of system of government we're running here. Well, but it's like there's a lot of there's a lot of arranged marriages that end up working out. We are going. We are going. We are opening the doors. I love that you're tackling politics, arranged marriages. June, five minutes in. Hot. Sometimes the people around you know what you need more than you do. And you can get you can get sort of wrapped up in passion and what's there right now and like not be able to. see the forest through the trees, not be able to see what it takes to sustain a long relationship. Have you ever been set up with a good person? I mean, that's the question that I want to ask you both. No, and actually no one has ever set me up. And I do take issue with that. I don't know what that's about. I'm not going to look at myself though. Okay. Well, wow. Okay. No one ever set me up. I mean, to be fair, June, you are looking at yourself in a hand mirror right now you are you are holding up a mirror by the way i look great she looks really good she keeps on saying please make this podcast video so we can have it out there we're begging you paul june and i are begging you to make this a video podcast we don't understand why you won't let us netflix now doing podcasts on zoom what are our zoom podcasts that are airing on Netflix. And if you want to know just how bad podcasters look, just go to Netflix. What are you doing? That was part of the joy of podcasting. It's no longer a podcast. Actually, I want to call it something different. It's like this was... It's a TV show. It's a TV show. And I also want to say this to women. I wish we could lock arms and say no. And say this was a medium that worked for us because people couldn't see us. Right. They had to listen to us. Here's the thing. Why would you want to look at the people who are just talking? This is a radio show. This is not video. This is not a visual medium. I don't understand. Now, look, occasionally we will do it like we did for our Christmas one. We'll make it special. And that's a live experience. That's a live show. That's a live experience. And by the way, you're going to pay for it. Wow. Bitch. You're going to pay for it. Wow. No way I'm giving that away for free. What's that phrase? Can't give away the milk. You got to buy the cow first. And that's how I set people up with them. I'd love to just drill down on this with June. What do you think? Got to buy the milk. It's on my mind because there's so much lactation. Oh, my God. There's so much lactation in this movie. I almost sat down with my son. What were you thinking, Paul? You said last night, we're going to watch Shoot Him Up Kids. Do you want to watch with us? Yeah, because I remember because I remember it being like a Bugs Bunny esque paper. And and I did not remember how much breast stuff is and breast milk is in the violence. The problem with this country is like we have no problem. We're so disgusted by women's bodies. By the way, I took a well butrin about a half an hour ago and I've had two cups of coffee. You're doing great. You're doing great. Somehow we barely talked about the movie, but you're already talking about what's wrong with the country. This is my problem is like we are so like, oh, that's that's crazy to look at a woman's breast, a woman's nipple. That smells like crazy at all. I loved it. Now, this is why we need a video. So like those takes fine with the violence. And that's you, Paul. You were so fine with the violence. OK, well, I'm showing our kids that level of violence. Well, OK, hold on. I will say that I feel like the violence is so cartoony as to feel like it's not like seven. It doesn't have any consequence to it. It feels. All I know is you showed them jackass. And then Gus had two kids at school. Two kids at school grabbing him by the limbs and throwing him as far as they could. And he did introduce it like a jackass video. Yeah. Oh, that's cute. He's like, what's up, guys? It's Gus. Now, I will say that Johnny will be on a new episode of this show eventually. We were just talking about that the other day, which I'm excited about. But when I told my boys that potentially Johnny was going to be doing a show, they lost their mind. Oh, my God. But I want to talk about the Discord. Redistrict the Discord. So the Discord was given a selection of films. The movie The Core, Cutthroat Island, Ice Pirates, The Pest, Shoot'em Up, and Suburban Commando. All worthy choices. Now, I believe that the Discord's job is to pick, and this is a very tricky thing, a movie that is bad but watchable. I don't trust them with that. I believe they failed. With League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. They failed there. And I also believe they failed here because, yes, this was enjoyable, but it falls into, thank God it got made. I think maybe I'm wrong. I totally agree. I feel like, I agree, this feels more to me in the vein of Face Off or those kind of big budget, very, I mean, I feel like people are like, it's so crazy. He like kills people with a carrot as if it's like Bugs Bunny. And we're like, well, no, that is intentional. This movie is in on the joke. It is not, we are not pointing it out. The movie is pointing it out. And that's, I want to. I'm happy to talk about it. I loved it. Yeah. Great. We'll get into all that, but I want to talk about where we started a little while ago, about how the Discord. Are you scared of the Discord, Paul? No, I just want. Okay. I'm up in the business of the Discord. I want to let you in on it, right? Wait, you're fucking the Discord? A little bit. And it's okay. June and I have an open Discord relationship. Anything on the Discord I can do. Are you guys in a polycule with the Discord? it's it's we're kind of like uh the stereophonic uh spree like we're it's there's so many of us you can't keep track of what's going on here's what i will say the the discord had these votes and i'm watching it and i'm seeing certain things go up and down but as it gets down to the final moments where the voting right before the voting is closed there was an energy here of we can't piss off Jason. We can't make him mad at us again. So because of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Yes. So at this point, there starts to be a little bit of tampering with votes and we can start to see that they are not only trying to make you happy with a movie like Shoot Em Up, because I think that they're driving that to you and unto all of us. But I think that they know that the wrath is going to come at them from you. And this movie, the core so what happens which i don't i can't i know this movie but what is the core the core is like one remember when they made all those movies where people were just going to the moon like there was a lot of a lot of moon movies uh the core is one of those moon movies and it is like with aaron at cart hillary swank dj quall stanley tucci uh the tucci uh just but unfortunately just a producer clarification yes the plot of the core is actually that the earth's core has stopped spinning oh okay and a team must drill to the center of the earth to jumpstart the core by detonating an atom bomb oh okay got it okay i'm so sorry reason why the core not spinning is a problem is that it's been causing geostorm type natural disasters around the world All right. So anyway, the core, which is clocking in at an aggressive length at two hours and 15 minutes. Too long. Yeah. So what happens is people start jockeying to create a tie. They're holding their votes back to manufacture a tie. Now, Scott, am I missing anything major from that? No, you're doing a great job. Okay. Can I ask a question, Paul, of you and perhaps of Scott? How many people are we talking about? Well, we're talking about, like, I mean, I want to, without, I mean, you can see the votes, the amount of votes for the core and the amount of votes for shoot them up, they're a tie. And they're at 473 votes each. Each? Oh, my God. And then this is the most votes we've ever gotten because actually so many people joined the Discord. I think that they got in knowing like, okay, you know what? I didn't like League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I want my voice to be heard. And then I think people are like, what's the Discord? How do I get into the Discord? Did we nominate the movies they could choose from or did the Discord come up with the movies? We did. We did. Yeah, I called the Discord suggestions over the years and chose a group that I thought people would be excited about. And that also covered, you know, a variety of genres. Yeah, and they're all over the board. These are fine choices. But I will say, when I saw the time, my immediate reaction was, well, the core is a movie that I know that Averill said, don't do it. It's not really worth it. But I want to be honest to the Discord and let them go pick what they want. and then shoot them up as a movie. I'm like, this is really fun. I enjoyed it. So we aired on the side of let's take the fun one, even though there's a tie. I think they were hoping to get two out of us. I see. You know, if there was a tie, we'd have to do two. We're not going to watch a two hour and 15 minute film that is just fine. Like, yeah, it's not worth it. Not worth it. I think if Averill said no, I trust her implicitly. So that is a thing. That's how we're here. The Discord hopes to make Jason happy by creating this tie. Does the Discord care about me at all? I mean, look, I believe that Jason comes at them way harder than you, June. I mean, obviously, Eric Holder comes after you. If I had the ability to unplug the Discord, I would. I would just straight away do it. Here's what I'm going to tell you about this movie. Just from my point of view. I saw this movie in a theater and it was raucous. It was a party. People were going bananas for it. Now, my friend, good friend of mine, great director, Ben David Grabinski, was the director's assistant on this film. And I was talking to him about this movie because he was there and pitched many jokes. The DVD commentary is like Ben David came up with that. Ben David came up with that. What he told me was this movie hit in two ways. One, everyone got it and people were psyched. No one got it and people left angry. So there was a very, he was like, he said, he saw it a million times and it just either worked a hundred percent or completely fell flat. And I do think that, to your point about the carrot and stuff, it was about a couple years too soon for people to get this level of like, oh, it's intentionally trying to do something. It's kind of almost a send-up of one of these kind of movies while also executing one of these kind of movies very well. It was very, very well. Yeah. Oh, and wait, Paul, who made this movie? This is this guy, Michael Davies. Yeah, who is that? actually wrote the screenplay for Double Dragon with Peter Gould from Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul. They were writing partners. But Michael Davis is a storyboard artist, one of the best of all time. Okay, so that's why it's visually so good. He basically created every shot in the movie Tremors. And during a period of time where he couldn't get anything made, he made this animated sizzle reel of 17,000 drawings that was the premise of this movie. He called it John Woo's Wet Dream. And that's what he wanted to make this. So it was like a 17-minute long sizzle reel to sell this movie. And that's how this movie was kind of birthed into the world. That's a great comparison, John Woo, in this era of somebody who's making visually sumptuous action movies that just don't have any of this. If people were coming in expecting a John Woo style, broken arrow, shoot him up kind of craziness like these jokes or these absurd asides or these corny one liners would bump you if you wanted it to be like a real like shoot him up. Can I tell you where I think this movie fails And not fails I love this movie I a fan of this movie I was excited to watch this movie I think that what the trouble is is Clive Owen He is great He plays it perfect But I think people coming in are like, wait a second. If he's in it, is it funny? Is it serious? Like if you put in... I liked that, though. Me too. I did too, yes. I agree with you, though. He could confuse a viewer because he's so good at it. He's great. You know, he would be... But if you had someone I'm trying to think of at the time, like if you had Bruce Willis in this. Ryan Reynolds like you know. Then you get it. Then it's too wink wink I feel like you know. But it's kind of Bugs Bunny. I mean I love Clive Owen. He's great. June what did you think of Clive Owen? I thought he was perfect. I loved it. I mean my only question for his character honestly this is like the only thing that bumped me in the movie was and it's not even just his character it's men in general in this film don't seem to know that you can feed a newborn baby with formula. I wrote that down too. It seems like it's not a fact that is like penetrating. Now, I will tell you that we are probably, well, I'm actually younger than both of you, but I am from a generation of babies who were strictly formula fed Because for a while there, our moms were told formula was better than breast milk. And so I wonder, I actually had this thought, like, because there was that campaign for a period of, like, formula is better. And then, of course, there was, they realized breast milk is, and by the way, quote unquote, better, like, feed your baby with whatever the fuck you have. But like, I wondered if these men had been so indoctrinated with the idea of breast is best that they didn't know you could very safely and effectively. Well, they are from a generation that is probably prioritizing breastfeeding in a way that that, you know, picking up on all of the elements that that breastfeeding would have given the baby. I think, you know, not for nothing, boy, would this movie have been worse for wear if he had just gone out and bought a bunch of formula and never gone to Monica Bellucci. Thank God for for Balooch. The Balooch is Looch. We didn't have the Tooch, but we did have the Balooch. And I mean, and by the way, when when there is a line, it says and I won't do it as justice because Paul Giamatti is the bad guy in this. And he is fantastic. Like he is, it seemed chewy. It's fun. He really turned my stomach. Effectively. Yes. He really turned my stomach. This lady's baby needs to be fed. Find me every wet nurse, lactating hooker, and mammary on tap in the city. Now here's a question. And again, I've always said this. The less I know about men, the better. Put it on a t-shirt, sell it. But the less I know about men, the better. But it's lactating. is lactating, like fetishizing, lactating, that's a thing? For sure. For sure. I guess. Well, for sure. You know, like, I mean, I'm just saying, is it a Pornhub category? I'm sure it is. Here's the thing. I think what's, and when we find Monica Bellucci, she is lactating and her entire, her entire, she's set up in a brothel where each of the rooms has a theme and her theme is baby. Her theme is baby. It's all baby bottles and her John that she's with is in a diaper and is breastfeeding. Can I ask like a sexually innocent question? I've never seen besides going to a haunted house a wall of rubber that one person is behind. There seemed to be... I was like wow. Is that a thing? His face was coming out. But his face was a part of the rubber too that was specific no he was on the other side but like what what is happening what transactionally is happening you know like what is this what is this meant to elicit i want in a haunted house where that is happening and they because they give you the illusion of reaching out and grabbing it because the wall is freddie you like freddie in that movie right but they can't touch it because you are separated here's the thing though the the cost of upkeep and and also just like making that yeah how many johns are arriving like that that must be you know for any of the the rooms to make sense like you have to have a number of customers i would assume oh yeah no it's like a movie theater not wanting three-hour movies because they can only do fewer showings per day like how many johns fit that room's particular kink well because you got to hold it so taut so taut so taut or is it new is it a roll and you like each after each one it's rolled across cut off and that bit is thrown away it looks expensive though it did it did now i here's a question i mean maybe the john is bringing it with him now the other question i have is this is the theme nunnery and then within the nunnery different rooms because it's i mean i know we're answered the door is answered by a nun in a thong uh that well first is a nun then revealed thong and it felt like nunnery like uh house of ill repute but then it but then it felt like everything was themed and she was maybe the only one on break or is the nun just answering the door if the nun who answered the door she was just well i'm not busy right now i do religious uh kink over in this room i just don't have an appointment so i'll answer the door right like Sort of like, hey, if you're not in the middle of fucking, can you please get the door? And now, I mean, I will say, this is very John Wick coded as well. I mean, this is like, it's got all the secret organizations, the world. There's so much great stuff. You know, instead of a dog, you got a baby. The baby is great. I mean, this is, it, no, I mean, from the moment one. It's not just a baby. It is a newborn. Yes. This baby delivers the baby. He delivers the baby and then the rest of the movie happens, I believe, within 48 hours. I mean, when I knew that this movie in the theater was great, was like you open up on Clive Owen. He takes a bite of this carrot. You're like, interesting. And then the movie starts and it's frenetic action, some really cool shots. But then the moment that really I was like, this movie knows exactly what it's doing is when he delivers the baby, amidst a gunfight, then uses his gun to blow the umbilical cord, like to separate the baby. I was like, incredible. Why not? Incredible moment. I am in. Why not? I am. There's nothing else. Now, the only issue I had with him, I didn't like when he ripped her outfit open and said, feed junior, whatever the fuck he said. I didn't like that one bit. I didn't like that either. And I didn't. Also, your milk doesn't come in right away. it also felt like how did he how was he so aware of like that you know like he i mean he just was he just needed the baby to be quiet as soon as possible so that they wouldn't be discovered you know he was just saying keep the baby quiet put a tit in its mouth put a tit in its mouth and that's fine but like the baby actually doesn't need to be fed right away yeah it just was making too much noise can we just talk about like being a lactating hooker because i i please thinking about it like she i don't know i guess she was on some sort of hormone supplement to help her it's explained she had a stillborn baby yeah she we know we didn't see that she tells the story later to clive oh and she says why haven't you asked what happened to my baby so her milk came in from the stillborn yes her her pimp punched her she says yeah and her baby was born stillborn And so my assumption is she continued to lactate and then used that in her. As her kink. Gotta get a gimmick. Well, that's it. I think that that's more what it was. She's like, well, I should use this. And then because of the amount that she is using it, she's never stopping. It's like those people who like will be like, no, I still breastfed my child and they're standing up. Like I've seen that like on a Maury episode. Right. You know, it's like it's somebody who's very old. Sure, sure, Paul. Sure, Paul. You've seen it in a Maury episode. Great. I'm always watching. Great catch. I'm always watching a Mori. I've seen it on a video on Mori, I think. I just want to shout out her character because of all the kinks that are available in each and every one of those rooms. The one I would like to do the least is lactating. Because that's a lot of work to have your boobs filled with milk. And then it hurts if you're not lactating. So then it's like, well, is she self-expressing? Is she pumping? I mean, there's so many questions. It's also so much. It's so intimate. It's so intimate to have a grown man. I can't even talk about it, Jason. I can't even talk about it. That was a moment. You just talked about it. But I can't any longer. But it has to be over. I do want to say that that moment really makes me recoil because it's like. Oh, it's horrible. This movie is beautifully shot. I couldn't understand what it was at first. Because my mind, my imagination stopped. Yeah, it stopped. It had to protect itself. Well, even at the time when you catch her giving the bad guy a blowjob behind the dumpster, I was like, wait, how did that happen so quickly? And there are some moments that really will take your breath away. And I will say those are quick ones. but the one that sticks in my mind the one that really got to me and i know it was there for creep factor is paul giamatti looking at this dead woman that he is carrying around in the car this is the mother of the baby who does get shot in right after delivering the baby and she's still uncovered from when clive owen has ripped open her shirt to help her feed her baby and he just grabs her breast And when I say there's a fearless performance going on here for Paul Giamatti, like what he is doing is that scene. It's very, very horrible. Very, very horrible. But you, I feel like I knew everything I needed to know about his character from that. I'm like, it's the one to punch for G. I want to just say Giamatti is incredible in this. And he and Clive Owen as opposite sides are fantastic. And what's so good about Giamatti is he's doing all of this disgusting stuff, the scene you're talking about. He's saying so many disgusting things. But then he's also continuously fielding calls from his wife where you can tell he is put upon and feels like he is not in charge. Sweetie, this deal is almost done. Look, I've already booked my flight home. Okay? Okay. I love you too. Yeah. Bye-bye. You know why a gun is better than a wife? Hmm? Dunno. You can put a silencer on a gun. And that is, like, so funny to me that his performance is, like, basically built off of, like, the impotent rage of a husband who's being constantly had at by his wife, which I think is very funny. That is what's so great about this movie. And I think really separates it from just being like a send up of these types of movies because Clive Owen also has these very specific pet peeves. There are specific choices that are made. And I love when a character like this is just like, he doesn't like when people are rage driving. He doesn't like cats. Like there's things about there's specific things that he doesn't like. And to me, it's what elevates this movie. Yes. And his performance in doing so. His performance. His stoicism. His everything. He's not leaning into any of the jokes that he is. He is the Bugs Bunny character, but there is no Bugs Bunny wink. There is no Bugs Bunny kind of ryaness. He is just straight. It's as if he's stepped out of Children of Men and stepped into this movie. Well, by the way, there is a moment that reminded me of Children of Men. It looks, he's like in the same costume. There's one moment where he's on the bus and I'm like, is this the Children of Men that we were promised? Because in a weird way, it's the same story as Children of Men. It's so funny. I mean, in that one, he's protecting a pregnant woman to give birth. But in this, he got the baby to where the baby needs to go. And the baby is what being used to genetically keep the governor young, the senator alive. Not young, to save his life. He needs the bone marrow of a relative that has his whatever. He's got a baby farm. So the setup is there's a senator who wants to become president who's in charge of gun. Oh, this is a gun control movie. Also, the theme of this, one of the central themes is gun control in a movie that is wall-to-wall guns, which is very funny. Which I loved. I loved. And by the way, this is a movie where I just have some of the stats. 151 people are killed in less than an hour and 30 minutes. And they used 6,000 squibs and 15 gallons. June squibs? June squibs. It took a while to get the set. So it was a little tricky. It was tricky, but they got him. They did it 6,000 times. She'll always get there. She works. I mean, that was the thing. She's booked. She's ready to go. It's busy. But yes, it's saying something, but also, I think this movie is incredibly clever and smart and cool. I agree. It's a blast. So anyway, just to finish my thought, he needs a bone marrow transplant. So he creates a baby farm with women so that he can have a bunch of babies that he can pull bone marrow from. Now, while that is happening, the gun company bad guy, Hammersmith, he decides, I don't want this guy to live because he wants gun control. So I'm going to kill all those babies. I'm going to kill his baby farm. And that's why he sends Giamatti and the goons to go kill the baby farm. And that is where we are. And then at the end of the movie, of course, it's revealed. Why not just kill him? Great question. Because, well, because then it would be a line would kind of be drawn to him. Whereas if you kill a baby farm, you can't say, hey, someone came in and killed my baby farm. Because then more questions are asked. Well, why do you have a baby farm? Then there's a, then there's a lot. But now, by the way. Do you guys think there's anybody right now that has a baby farm? There's got to be, right? There's got to be at least one baby farm right now on this globe. Listen. I'm a billionaire. When are you able to extract that bone marrow, though? Great question. Because you can't have a bone marrow transplant until you're, like, I believe, well, I don't know. Maybe with pediatric cancer. I don't know. I don't know either. And that's so interesting. But wouldn't it be incredibly painful for the babies to have their bone marrow removed? Oh, it's horrible. You'd have to be at least 18 because the most successful donations come from people from 18 to 35. So, yeah, so that they will not, I mean. Accept you. Yeah. Minors are allowed to donate under strict ethical guidelines, but I don't think that they're going that. I don't think this falls under that. Yeah, I don't think. Well, it definitely doesn't. Yeah, I just feel like you got to get some more marrow in them bones before you can give it up. You got more of that delicious marrow. By the way, though, like this, this poor baby, when this baby, I mean, I had to do a lot of work watching this movie with. the beginning sequence where the baby is under, is sort of in a football hold with Clive Owen and he's jumping over buildings and he's doing this and that and he's shooting. And there's just several shots where I'm so worried about that baby's neck, you know. Oh yeah. Never being supported. Never. And I have to say, like, I did wonder why all that Clive Owen can do, the amount of multitasking that he's able to do, Could he not have created some sort of a Bjorn? Because I didn't know if our writer-director didn't like the idea. And I think this is a really interesting portrayal of masculinity. Right. Because he at some point is on his back But they never have him on his front in more of a papoose which is more of a feminine look And I wondered about that I understand that concern but I think I have a different reason why that didn happen It's because I would say in almost every single set piece, Clive Owen slides on his stomach across the floor, across conveyor belts. He slides across hundreds of yards. He covers over a mile and a half of distance. It's like run, run, slip, and fly. Sliding and shooting. The palm of his hand is going to be the better brace in this situation. Because he's able to really pocket him like a football. And the baby was not hurt. And he's a bigger boy. He's not a slip of a thing. Wait, Clive Owen or the baby? Clive Owen. Oh, no. Clive Owen's a big guy. The one thing I'm going to say about Clive Owen, I have no problem with the way that he dealt with the baby. Like, yeah, sure, maybe a papoose. But to me, when he dropped the baby on the merry-go-round in the blazing hot sun, it did feel like, now I understand why it has to go there. But I was like, well, that's going to be a little hot. That's going to cook the baby. Arguably, the worst thing that he did was leave the baby in the baking hot sun. But he does know that someone will immediately find it, which they do. You know what I mean? Yes, but I would have preferred that that baby. I understand why you couldn't go to the police station, but there are many places where you can safely surrender a baby, no questions asked. So, like, find your local hospital. They got that little safe, which I just saw. What's that? Oh, there's some wonderful baby boxes. Yeah, baby boxes. Where you literally open up. They have them, I think, at a lot of different public facilities, firehouses, where you open the baby box. Oh, it's like a library book return? Yes. You put the baby in there that you have to surrender, and you close it up. Can I go get one? And there's no questions asked. If I see one of those, if I open it, will there be a baby in there? Well, that's the thing. I would love that. You know, it's not just like a pickup. It's not like a vending machine. It's not. It's not. I can't. Okay. It's one way, Jason. I can't put a $5 bill in and open it up and get a baby. It's not a baby automat. Now, look, I would love. Do you think the kids will know what an automat is? I mean, yeah, our audience is going to definitely be jiving on the automat. I barely know what it is. I was going to say, June, do you know what an automat is? I don't really. The thing that I love about that sequence, too, and this is why this movie to me is so fucking funny, is he goes, you know, someone will find you. And then a woman goes, oh, my God, look at this. Someone left a baby. Boom. Just killed immediately. The movie has great timing. And it's like anybody who's missing these jokes that like when the middle of a fight, he spells fuck you. And then Giamatti turns and then he shoots out the rest of the letters and spell fuck you, too. Come on, guys. It's so funny. It's very funny. that happens though in this movie and i just want to address it because it's something that always bugs me and i don't know if anybody else has this issue picture a giant shoot him up sequence okay the one in the staircase where he's flying by that you know he's he's going down the staircase on that rope or whatever that is he's tethered shooting everybody he kills in that sequence it seems like at least 75 grown men minimum okay one of my pet peeves is that once Once he gets to the bottom, Paul Giamatti and Paul Giamatti and everybody's been shooting at him. Paul Giamatti's been shooting at him. Once he gets to the bottom, he's still in range, it seems, to be killed. And yet Paul Giamatti, there's sort of this like gentleman's agreement. Like, I'll now watch you walk out. I'll now watch you exit, which is a solid like 10 seconds. Yep. Where your back is to me. I know you're not going to shoot at me. But I will very respectfully not take this shot. And there's also there's something about them now being close enough to have words that now instead of shooting, now we quip back and forth because there's some safety and feeling like, well, now I can shoot you whenever I want. So let me give you a little bit of the old business. And then that's the hubris that allows for Clive Owen to get away every time. But I agree, that is a trope in this kind of a movie. Yes, and I find it fascinating. It's like we let our people exit, you know, respectfully. Well, it's the same thing, too, that happens, and it didn't happen in this movie, but I feel like happens in the versions of these movies that aren't self-aware, which is they decide instead, now that it's the two of us left, why don't we put our guns down and settle this like men, hand-to-hand combat style, you know? Which always seems like it's not the right thing. It's not going to work out for you. It's not the time. I will say favorite scene of the film is the sex scene. The sex scene is absolutely incredible. Like, look, you got him delivering a baby, having a gunfight. And then you think in this moment, like, oh, we're just going to have like a little bit of a sex scene. And for the amount of nudity in this movie, I do actually think it doesn't seem gratuitous. The amount of like, I don't know. I don't think she's ever nude. I mean, she's nude, but you don't see anything. Yes. Yes. Oh, it's such a great sequence. And, you know, I have to like really tip my hat to Monica because she's having an orgasm and won't stop until she climaxes and she's being shot at left. done right. And I wondered, I don't know about anyone else, but I wondered, like, oh, if you're a sex worker and you have men who are sucking milk from your boobs, like, is this just, like, she has not been able to have an orgasm? Or, or, on her, and, like, this has to happen. They seem to have a connection. I feel like they seem to have a connection. I thought the chemistry was electric. They know each other from the past. He brings the baby. When he shows up, we didn't say this, which I very much laughed at, when he shows up at the brothel to find her. I'm assuming knowing she's lactating because he knows her already. He's carrying the baby in a brown paper bag with packing peanuts in it. And I was like, this movie gets it. So the sex scene to me, this is what's great about the movie, is that they're in the middle of having sex. Gunmen burst in from every door, window, every place. Not only do they not stop, they escalate the sex. the sex now starts gets better and Monica Bellucci isn't like stop let me hide she's like keep going and that's the movie little death big death doesn't matter I think the movie is leaning in right leaning in I mean I think that's what Sheryl Sandberg said there is something about that relationship though that you feel good about you feel like You know what? They got it together. This movie is a great example to me of giving us some information, but not too much. And relying on the actors to build a history with just chemistry and connection. Because you did feel it and you felt that they've been through something together, that there was a lot of love and respect there. And yet also, like, they're very wary of each other. I thought they did a great job. My favorite part, the thing that really genuinely, like, not touched me, but I was like, when she says to him when they're going to separate and she says to him. What if it don't come back? That's not going to help. There is no way to be sure. Yes, there is. And he puts the gun on her ring finger like it's an engagement ring. He puts the trigger cover or whatever around her finger like a ring. I loved that. I was like, this is romance. This works for me. Same. And by the way, it also just goes to show you, like, I think that we live in a time where like, oh, what's the backstory? What's this? We need more exposition. This movie has none of that. No, we don't. None. And we're just running. Trust us. Trust us. Don't trust the discord, but trust us to fill in the blanks. Now, did the audience trust it? No, but that's okay. I mean, the movie did not, it was not a hit. as my shocking to me to be honest i blame the times it's just i blame the times yeah it's like because i think that year after 2007 i think after this you get movies like shooting aces right which was like kind of like oh we're doing a bigger thing you're seeing like action that is just bigger and more bombastic i think that that style that john woo style comes in and is an Americanized after. Well, and that's and I feel like the movie that then dominates and sets the template is taken, which I think is 2009. I think somewhere around there taken, I feel like really is like, no, our hero is stoic. His mission is unequivocally good and without and there's no commentary. It is just a forward moving shark of a person who just kills everybody in their way so that they can rescue the helpless woman, you know? I totally agree. I think that the one piece that I missed, and it's possible I just was looking down at my notes at this time, when we're in the car sequence and the baby falls out of the car after the crash and Paul DiMona runs over and you think the baby's been destroyed and it's sort of a robot baby. It's a very realistic robot. Where did that baby come from? Who knows? Who made that baby? Don't pull at that string. Yeah, that one we just have to believe that he... Don't pull at that string. And the other string not to pull at is when he goes to the gun factory. What's the gun manufacturer's name? I can't remember. He goes to basically... Hammersmith. He goes to the Hammersmith factory where all the bad guys are, and they're manufacturing all the guns. And he sets up like 100 booby traps full of guns. I'm like, are we to believe that the gun factory has loaded guns? like ready to go yeah there wouldn't be any ammo in these guns yeah i didn't even i was so okay with that and he's he meanwhile sets up like a home alone level series of booby traps where he's pulling marionette strings and she is it's so satisfying and it's so fun but the minute you start pulling out you're like how on earth this would have taken hours to do right uh apparently and this is a fun little side fact you know Paul Giamatti has gone through a lot of different phases in his facial hair and his head hair but when he did have to accept the best actor for Sideways he was still fully in this character's hair and goatee so when you do look at the pictures of him you're like oh interesting choice he didn't really clean up for the Oscars and it was because he was dealing with shooting this which was a and definitely when you look at him it's an interesting look for it That reminds me of when Hubel had to have frosted tips for like two months for I Love You, Man. Oh, my God. That was amazing. The other thing that, oh, my God. There's so much. I love the scene. I love the scene. I love the car chase scene. And I love that he causes a head-on collision so that he can fly out of his car into their car. Again, sliding, Jason. Sliding. He slides into their van, lands perfectly. He would be he would be demolished. You know, if if if real physics were applied to this movie, everybody dies in the first scene. But by this time, I'm like, I love it. He launches into their car, shoots everyone in the car. And then he's like, that's why you should wear your seatbelt. He's got zingers for every line that he doesn't overstep. even when he's doing his zingers that's why Clive Owen to me is perfect in this he's not leaning into the jokes he is perfect because he's not even putting the James Bond like that kind of swarmy no it's just clean and it's nice and I mean this man is skydiving he does it only that's the other thing about this movie the shootout in the sky is incredible and that's not even the end like every time you're like oh this is a sequence where you can't top this And you can. Yeah. Is it the final sequence where he does put bullets in each of the like the divots or the holes in his hand, the holes in his hand and lets them get heated up like popcorn to then assassinate the final guy? And I'm like this, this movie. And that's what's great about the movie is. And I suspect maybe why people wanted us to do it is that we would say that's ridiculous. You can't hold up a bullet to a fire and aim it. You wouldn't be able to do it. No, the point of the movie is... It literally was something they did on Mythbusters to disprove it. Oh, did they? That's not funny. We're doing Looney Tunes. The man's eating a fucking carrot. He basically... Like, he is eating a carrot multiple times like... Never-ending carrots. He always is running out of ammunition and guns and everything else. He never runs out of carrots, which I loved. He must have a carrot vest under there. Maybe that's why he slides so easily. It's just like it's sort of flushed to his skin. It's just a vest of carrots. And if they go this way, maybe they just roll. They're allowed to, you know, like it's giving him the ability to roll. By the way, you can turn orange if you eat too many carrots. Okay, that's true. That's true. It is true. It is true. I wonder, too, if we're meant to believe that part of the reason he's such a crack shot is because carrots help your eyesight. That is literally what I believe is part of it. And I think what they realized was in the beginning, it was like he has great eyesight. And then they're like, oh, this is a Looney Tunes. Like, let's lean into both. And then carrot gags are like, then he has to kill people silently. And then he's just taking that carrot and shoving it through people's heads. I gotta say though, carrots do not taste good unskinned. And it seems like he's eating carrots just in the raw. You know that I only recently found out that baby carrots are just big carrots that have been carved down into small form factor? Yeah, I'm finding it out right now. What are you talking about? Baby carrots are just big carrots that have been carved into that. Right, there's no such thing as a baby carrot. What's baby corn? I think that's just a corn varietal that is small. Wow. Wow. Well, I'm now different now that I know. Here's my only criticism of Clive Owen and Monica Bellucci on the run parenting. I think they can come up with better than newspaper diapers. I love. Well, did you see the artistry that she was doing with those newspaper diapers? Like origami level stuff. I mean, can't they just find cloth or paper towel? I mean, there's so many things. You take off your hat, take off that other sock. I love when he took off his sock and put it on the baby's head on the bus. When he sees the mother putting a hat on the baby, he's like, oh, I should be doing that. There's moments like that that are really tender and work, again, because he is a great actor. Now, I do think that's the only excuse for going barefoot on public transport. I've seen people do it on airplanes, and it's been very upsetting to me. Barefoot, not socks? Barefoot? Barefoot. Barefoot. I sat next to a woman barefoot, like wearing like wearing flip flops on a plane, went into a bathroom that I knew because I had been in it. I knew was covered in piss. Yours? The floors are disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. Disgusting. No, I've seen so many people get on a plane in sandals. And then this one flight I was just recently on, he had sandals on very like worn down leather sandals sat right next to me. And then he took off his sandals and placed his bare fucking feet on top of them. And I was like, I am so I truly had to knock myself out. When they put their feet up on like the chair in front of them or, you know, like up so that they're like on display. I don't need to see your stinky ass logs while you're on the plane. Put it away. Put it away. Put it away. People. I like I the anti Tarantino No feet please Chop them off Except if you Clive Owen and then you on public transport and your baby needs a hat True He just skates out of the head so quickly By the way, I did have a heart-to-heart with my stepmom this past week where I was describing foot fetishes. And I will say that I embraced it. Wait, why was that during a heart-to-heart? Because I was, we were talking about. I heard it. I was on a phone call and I sort of heard it happening in the other room. And I was like, it was actually a heart-to-heart, Jason. Because I was trying to help her explain a lot. If you can believe it. It was a heart to heart. It was a heart to heart to kind of explain how people have different sexual wants and desires. And yet some we put on a stoop and we say, well, that that's made up or I don't know if I believe that they are that. And I'm like, well, let's look at this one. We know no one's questioning the validity of this one. Was she asking about the fetishes that were on display in the Monica Bellucci scene? Did she watch the movie? I think this movie would have broken her. I know for a fact that I feel like she didn't want to even see Train Dreams because she thought it was going to be a little too edgy. Risqué? Yeah, a little risqué. I don't know where I went with that. I have a question. Why is there? And I want to be clear. I'm not bothered by this at all. I don't understand why there's a tank in the city. I thought it was some display. It's a museum. That's why the other mother's yelling at the kid. I love that moment, too, where he kind of comes after that mom for being abusive in the thing. Yeah, it's just in a museum. He just knows about the museum. I missed a museum, and I was just like, I did, too, but I accepted it. Again, there's lots of things I didn't. Yeah. I didn't question. You can't. I loved at the end of the movie when he finds them in the roadside ice cream shop slash diner that looks like a tit. The design of it is a boob. Like Monica Bellucci is so associated. It is a boob with cream in it, with milk in it, with ice cream. Oh, God. That's like the end of the movie is also, don't worry, there's still lactating titties out here in the middle of the desert. And for a movie that I think is like, they definitely address like the gun as a dick. This is a movie that also really just supports the boob, you know, because I mean, that is that is that's something I can very much get behind. Oh, God. Like like Underwire. I am also here to support the boob. I mean, that that that line. June looks so upset. Oh, God. And again, this is why we need to go on video. Let's talk a little bit about this movie. Just to give you a little bit of an update. Because I did tell you, it did not make a lot of money at all. The budget of this movie, $39 million. Concerned budget, right? Pretty good for what they do. Opening weekend, 5.4 million, made 12 million and worldwide gross only 27. It was not a hit in any way. It has a it stands kind of right in the center on the tomato meter and the audience score, both at like 65 and 67 percent. That is shocking to me. And I'm also shocked. I'm shocked that it's that it did so poorly. And I'm also shocked that it does not currently have a like and it is now a gigantic hit on Netflix or something like a new appreciation for it. That's what we need to do. I think that we need to lead this charge because this is a movie that I think also had some weird moments associated with it. So apparently they marketed this movie with a YouTube video, which was a bulletproof stroller. And they had the video was it was an ad. That's got to be year one of YouTube 2007. Yeah. So they where they basically have someone with a submachine gun shooting at a stroller while a baby was inside to prove that the stroller was bulletproof. People did not get that that was funny. They thought it was real. Like this movie kind of had that thing where people like it's too much gun violence. It was banned in the UK like a billboard of them was banned. You know, it just was a movie that I think hit a lot of different weird moments where it was just not accepted. So surprising. Yeah. And I think that people haven't seen it because I literally put it on my letterbox last night and people reached out to me. I put stuff on my letterbox all the time. People reach out to me to say, oh, my God, I love that movie. It's so fun. It is so fun and deserves to be celebrated in the same way that I feel like everybody now rallies around like we do the Fast and Furious movies. Yes. The completely over the top bonkers level action movies. This is that only better in many instances. And this guy doesn't go on to make any other movies. That's what I wanted to know as well was what else did he because this is very well done. Like this could have been a disaster, you know, because it's not it's thirty nine million dollars for this level of stuff is not a lot of money. And it looks great. It's it's edited. Great. Like this is a great successful movie. You know, and I was talking to, again, my friend and maybe I'm talking a little bit out of school. Well, I'm not this is not talking at school. He told me some some things. But he was saying that, like, the thing that was a bummer was everyone's so proud of it. It's it's a movie that they feel really good at. It's kind of bombs at the at the box office. but he was like I would go into meetings and no one would give a shit it would be like oh I was the director's assistant I pitched all this stuff I did all this people did not like this movie and when you type and shoot them up the first question is it a parody people are confused and that's this is the unfortunate thing I think that we take things at face value a little too much well I also think the audience for these types of movies might just not get the joke right Or it's marketed to one person, but it should be marketed to a different person. Which is why they are like, oh, no, we get it when it's taken or we get it when it's Fast and Furious. But this? Why is he doing What's Up, Doc? Like, what? That's crazy, you know? This is it. You know, so obviously we had opinions about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. And it is now time for Second Opinions. Paul and Jason and June talk a lot about what makes a movie good or not. But everyone knows they're actually full of shit. We need a second opinion. Someone that knows what they're talking about. We need a second opinion. We need a second. Give me a second. We need a second opinion Thank you so much, Wolves of Glendale. They are awesome. All right. I will tell you some second opinions because there's a handful, 3,702. 72% are five-star reviews. So Amazon gets it. Amazon's on board. Victor Collado writes, and this is one I'm going to have to have you guys break it down for me. The title is Nice, Super Excellent. It was written in 2025. A lot of codes in this movie. I hope many people follow. The world become better. Five stars. A lot of codes in this movie. I hope people follow. The world become better. Oh, like Clive Owen's codes about don't hit your kid or liking dogs. All his kind of code of honor that he has. Oh, I like that. He seems to me, and we never find out, he seems to me to be some sort of like a samurai kind of a man without a house, without a boss. Yeah, the man with no name, the kind of Sergio Leone. This one is from Randy, 2015. Randy writes, come on, if you're a guy, you gotta love this movie. And is there a hotter woman in the movies than Monica Bellucci? No. I sure haven't seen one. I agree and it goes perfect guy movie five stars I mean I just would say perfect movie I don't think we need to gender it no and then finally this Amazon customer no name given in 2022 simply titles his review Guns and writes glad I finally watched this movie in its entirety this was my favorite bad guy ever I'm sick of cowardly bad guys. Five stars. His takeaway was Giamatti was not a coward. And I would argue... I mean, I don't necessarily think of other bad guys in other movies as cowardly. I just don't know who he's... Hans Gruber is not cowardly. No, I guess. Please don't kill me if there's a scene like... I mean, look, that kind of a... This guy was like, I'm going to go down. I don't care. I'm going to go down. I only have one question, which is, I understand at one point when Clive Owen used the hand dryer to burn the man's hand to drop the gun. Great sequence in the dark fight. But then he heated up his own gun to fire Rick. I didn't quite understand what was going on there. I couldn't. Also, how hot do hand warmers get? Well, I think those are old hand warmers. This is before you. It looks like, because they have an insert shot of what's inside, and it looks like an old cigarette lighter from a car. Yeah. You know, it looks like there's a heated up metal coil in there that you could like truly burn yourself on. I was like, that can't be right. I imagine that he wasn't holding his hand that close either. That would mean that we'd all have a burning sensation when using a handrail. And that guy's in the Secret Service. If you're telling me this guy's enough of a pussy that he drops his gun because his hand got a little hot, come on. uh so discord did they do it did they do it right is the question reluctantly i will say well done discord i guess i mean i still i still would i i would disconnect it nonetheless but but yes redeemed after the disaster of uh league of extraordinary gentlemen i will also say june we did not watch this movie together you watched it at a different point and that was one of my great sadnesses that I would not be able to see you react to it. I'm happy to hear that you liked it. That's so sweet. I loved it. I did have to wake up, set an alarm to watch it. You watched it at what, like 9 a.m.? No, I watched it at 7. I started it at 7. That's why you were tired. That's so funny. 7 a.m. I watched the movie. Well, first I got the kids there. I woke up at 6. kids ready out the door by seven. And I'm driving, so I don't see any of this stuff. Okay. I'm just saying. I just want to make it seem like I was doing something too. Out the door. They're out the door by seven, so that hour is like crazy. And then at seven, I turned it on. I watched it. And then I said, I got to go back to sleep. And then I did sleep another half hour. Oh, wow. That's what a morning. I would love to know what your dreams were like in that half hour. Really crazy. I really, it was a very messed up sleep. I mean, I don't nap. And I always, everybody wants to tell me to take a nap. Like, I never feel better afterward. I don't believe it. Why is everybody always telling you to take a nap? I'm always telling you to take a nap. Everyone? Everyone, I mean. Always trying to. Yeah, always. You're always telling me to take a nap, too. And I have never felt better after a nap in my life. I think that is dismissive. Take a nap. You know what I mean? Like, I don't like that. I don't like that. Well, Jason, you know, you liked it. I liked it. We all like it. Yeah. I loved it. Loved it. I think this is this again. This goes right up to the top for me in terms of movies we've done with Face Off, with Con Air. This to me is a thank God this got made. Iconique. Yes. Yes. And also just makes me go like, man, Clive Owen, good career. Interesting. I mean, like he's coming off like the croupier. What a great actor. Like he's doing like this. Well, Clive Owen was meant to be, he's one of those great, like, almost was careers because he was maybe going to be Bond. And then he has this run of movies, this being one of them, the Tony Gilroy movie with Julia Roberts, Duplicity. Inside Man. He's got a bunch of movies in a row that just do not perform. And it just, including Children of Men, that do not get him to that next level. And it's heartbreaking. I would love to see him as Parker in a Westlake adaptation. He, to me, is the perfect Parker. We need that, please. I'm talking to you, Shane. Well, we'd have to have him recast Mark Wahlberg at that point then. Oh, okay. Okay. So, I mean, I agree with you one million percent. Like, I feel like, I think he could still get, like, you know, he could still, I mean, he was on The Nick and that people loved The Nick. But that's the 10 years old now. Guys, get involved with the Nick. Oh, yeah. It's really he's like he's good. He's so good. He's incredible. So any final thoughts here? I think we've said everything that needs to be said, but we do look to you, the discord to get into it. Like, let us know about what's happening with lactating women. You use your expertise. So we don't. Unplug. Unplug it. Jason's right. Disconnect it. Please disconnect the discord. What are we doing? Oh, my Lord. What a blast it was to watch. Does the Discord exist? Is the Discord part of like the dark web? I think it is. I mean, people, it's very hard to get on. Okay. Do you have to get on like the Silk Road? How does it work? I can't say it legally. I can't. Once I admit how to get there, then I am complicit. But yes, thank you, Discord. We will visit you again in a year when we give you another chance. oh that's a nice healthy that's a healthy time away and as always if you find a moment in this show that you would like to save for a howdy uh let us know because we are collecting those in discord as well so it would be way easier for us to do the howdies instead of just deciding to do the howdies and then uh going oh what what moments do we like and then that then that makes us not do an episode of the howdies for nine years um okay so uh that is all for now discord you've done it again. That's right. Thank you for voting. Thank you for making a choice, even if it was a wrong one, because honestly, at the end of the day, we really did enjoy the movie. As always, if you have a correction or omission for this episode, leave me a voicemail at 619-P-A-U-L-A-S-K, that's 619 Paul. Ask, write a comment on the Discord at discord.gg slash hdtgm. And on next week's Last Looks, we will respond to your messages. And I'll also chat with Jason about all the movies and TV shows that we are currently loving. Hey, if you subscribe to New York Times, you can read an article about me and my Taylor Swift documentary. That was a great little piece written about dads and daughters. I think you'll like it. It's called Dad, You're So Not Embarrassing Me. For shirts, mugs, stickers, and more, just go to hdtgm.com and click on the merch link. You can also click on the hat link to see our hat collection, which are on sale for 30% off. That's pretty great. And by the way, there's only one What's Up Jerks hat left. So get it before anybody else. You can check out me and Jason live at Largo every month. That's right. We're going to be there this Saturday, February 28th. We will also be there on March 26th. I believe that's a Thursday. Go to Dinosaur Improv or HowDidThisGetMade.com to see how to get tickets. Great people there all the time. Edie Patterson, Nicole Byer, Mary Holland, Daniel Schneider. It's a who's who of the funniest people out there. Remember, if you listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, make sure you are subscribed to our feed and have automatic downloads turned on in the show settings. It helps us and we appreciate it a lot. And lastly, I have to give a huge thanks to our behind the scenes team. I'm talking about our producer, Scott Sonni, Molly Reynolds, our engineer, Casey Holford, and our social media manager, Zoe Applebaum, as well as our intern, Quinn Jennings. And we will forever be thankful to the one and only April Halley. That's all I got for now. Bye bye. We'll be right back.