Nero Wolfe: Room 304 04/27/1951

Welcome to Choice Classic Radio, where we bring to you the greatest old-time radio shows. Like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube, and thank you for donating at choiceclassicradio.com. If it is, tell them no. I will not. Hello, hello. Confound you Archie, do as I say. Uh-uh. Hello? Hello, is this Mr. Wolf's residence? Yes. Is this Mr. Wolf? Uh, yes, yes, Mr. Wolf speaking. Oh, I am in very much trouble. Could I see you please, immediately? Well, no, yes. What kind of trouble, miss? Give me that phone, Archie. No. Hello! Uh, sorry, I had to turn the radio down too loud, you know. Oh, may I see you right away? Well, I... Well, I'll give you $1,000 as a return of the... Yes, yes, yes indeed. I'll take the case. Come right over. The address is 601 West 35th Street. I cannot, Mr. Wolf. I just cannot come there. Well, where do you live? I am staying at the Paul Hotel, room 304, and I... Hello? Oh, that was a shot. Hello? Hello? Ladies and gentlemen, it's that renowned genius who is the bulkiest, bulkiest, most ponderous, and most brilliant detective in the world. Yes, none other than that chair-born mass of unpredictable intellect, Nero Wolf, created by Rex Stout and brought to you in a new series of adventures of this NBC network in the person of Mr. Sidney Greenstreet. We have usually referred to this story as the case of room 304. The girl on the phone had decided, far an accent. I wasn't quite able to decide what nationality she was, but it sounded like French. Anyway, there was what sounded like a shot, and then dead silence for a second or two. Hello? Hello? Hello? Well, R.G., another woman, bah. Mr. Wolf, I heard a shot, and then the line clicked off. Trouble. Women always trouble. I said I heard a shot on the phone. Indeed. I'm going over to her hotel and see what goes on. By all means, Mr. Wolf. Yeah. Huh? Now that I've been inserted to the tone of being called a radio... I'm sorry, Mr. Wolf, but we needed the money, and this was $1,000. If you'll excuse me, I have to attend to my orchids, Mr. Wolf. What about the girl, the shot? Fascinating, isn't it? You figure it out. Okay. I've got to get over there. Room 304, Paul Hotel. So long, boss. Good luck, Mr. Wolf. Please phone me from time to time. Ha ha ha ha. Room 301, 302, 304. What do you know? The door's open. Oh, hello. Who are you? Archie Goodwin. Now it's your turn. I'm Jay Bream, pilot for Jan Airlines. You seem... Yeah, I guess you have. This girl's been shot. Oh, is that so? Yeah, dead. Real dead. What do you know about this? I don't know anything. Say it again. Looks like you're in a spot, pal. You better start digging, haven't you? I got here a few seconds before you did. I knocked on the door. The door was partially open, so I pushed it wide. Go on. Well, there was no answer. I couldn't see anyone, so I came in and... There she was. You know her? Yes. Why do you think I came here? That's what I'm trying to find out. Look, what right have you got asking me all these questions? What's it to you? Do you ever hear of Nero Wolf? Of course, who hasn't. Like I said before, I'm Archie Goodwin, Wolf's assistant. Would you rather talk or should I call a police? I've told you all I know. Who is she? Helen René. French? I don't know. European, anyway. Why'd you come here tonight? I have a dinner date with her. You mean you did have? Yeah. Let's turn her over. There. Hmm. An automatic in her hand. Yeah. I never saw it before. Hey, hey, hey. I wouldn't use the phone. Fingerprint. It's okay. I'll use this handkerchief. Who are you calling? My boss. Oh. Nero Wolf speaking. Archie, boss. Archie, I thought you were Nero Wolf. You sound very much like him. Please, boss. Be serious. Open her hand. I'm here at the girl's apartment. The one who called me. She's dead. Beautiful? Yes. Was very beautiful. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Was very beautiful. Yes. Was very beautiful. She would be. Huh. That didn't happen. Shot. Neat round hole in the right temple. She's married and looks like she shot herself. When I turned her over, I saw a wedding ring on her finger and a 32 automatic still in her hand. You alone? No. A fellow named J. Bream, a pilot. He was here when I arrived. When the shot? Apparently not. No one showed up yet. Very interesting. What do you do now, Mr. Wolf? Should I call Inspector Creamer? No. There ain't nothing to anyone. Get over here at once and bring Mr. Breen the pilot with you. Goodbye. That's all you know about it, Mr. Breen? That's right, Mr. Wolfe. Just like I told Mr. Goodwin here. The whole thing sounds... Hey, I just thought it sounded... Pray tell, Archie. It can't be suicide. Oh, and why not? That woman hung up a phone. You finally arrived at that, Archie. Amazing. Of course she couldn't. She was murdered. Murdered? Yes, Mr. Breen. But I thought she committed suicide. Please, Mr. Breen. It'll be better if you don't think. Where are you staying? 321 West 19th, apartment 5. And your job? I've 10 days vacation. Started yesterday. One thing, Mr. Breen. I suggest you don't leave town. I'd rather the more talk is not that vital. I strongly recommend that you adopt precautions. Yes, sir. Show Mr. Breen to the door, Archie. Yes, sir. Right this way. Good night, Mr. Wolfe. Good night. I didn't want to tell you in front of Mr. Breen, but I found this in a purse when I set him for a sheet to cover the body. $1000 check. Made out to Mr. Nero Wolfe. Well, boss? I think it's time we phoned Inspector Cramer. Should I? Who else, Archie? Who else? My apologies. I forgot how heavy that phone really is. Archie! Oh. Um, do you want me to talk to the inspector? How do the talking? Should I hold the phone for you? Then give me some beer. Inspector Cramer. One moment. Here you are. Nero Wolfe, Inspector. I think you had better go over to the Paul Hotel. Why? I believe you'll find a dead woman there. A dead woman? What is this? A gag wolf? I'm afraid not, Inspector. Well, how did you know about it? Have you been over there? Telepathy, Inspector. Mantleton? Wolf, I'm too busy today to listen to nonsense. Telepathy. Don't give me that kind of stuff. If I find a body, I'll lock you in good one up. You watch your blood pressure, Inspector. Never mind about my blood pressure. One thing, Inspector. Yeah? Would you hold off the press for the present? Why? What are you holding back, Wolf? Where do you stop your idiotic jabbing to what I ask? Okay. By the way, Wolf, I suppose you know the girl's room number. Naturally, Inspector. It is room 304. So hurry. Dear Inspector Cramer, you're so fond of me. Archie. Yes, sir? I suggest you call the bank in the morning and find the person who is handing Ms. Renée's account. Try to bring all her canceled checks over here. And what if they won't hand them over? Then Cramer will get an order issued to do so. Simple? Coming. Well, where's Wolf? Where do you think he'd be in his big chair? Good evening, Inspector. I expected you before this, Inspector. What kept you so long? If I told you I had a flat tire, would you believe me? I'll start giving, Wolf. What did you know about that girl? Inspector Cramer, do sit down. Relax. Nervous tension is such a deadly thing. Now listen here, Wolf. Would you like some beer? Most soothing, you know. Come on. What's the dope on this case? Fill the Inspector in on the details, Archie. I was here talking to the girl over the phone. There was a shot, and then I went over to her hotel and found her the same as you did, dead on the floor. The phone was placed back on the hook. Come on, Wolf. There's more to this than that. Let's have it. Really, Inspector? Who was she? You don't know? I mean, what do you know about her? Now get this straight, Wolf. I... Please, Wolf, what's this all about? A girl's been shot. Her name is Helen Ranny. What's the dope? Did you have a ballistics report made on the gun? Well, not in this short time, but I will. How did you make out your report? Suicide, naturally. Archie was talking to the girl on the phone at the time she was shot. So she chooses to kill herself talking to your assistant. Why, you big, flat-footed... Inspector, precisely how can a dead girl hang up a phone? Why, she... You see, Inspector, quite impossible. And now I suggest you make out your report murder. Murder? Wolf, tell me, why is it you're always mixed up in these cases? That, Inspector, would be as difficult to answer as it would be to convince Archie of the danger of the female of the species. Oh, what's the use? No one ever answers my questions. I give up. Oh, Inspector, I do hope you will bring the girl's cancer checks tomorrow if they don't turn them over to us. Well? The Inspector is just going. Archie, please, see him to the door. I'm not helpless. Good night, Inspector. Good night. Please, boss, can't we have just a little air in here? You've been out all the morning, isn't that enough? Gonna get me an oxygen tank to use in here. Did you contact the bank regarding the girl's account? I did. I finally talked to the head of the accounting department. He told me about her personal agent here, Mr. Renfrew. He was handling all her financial affairs. I went to see Renfrew. What did he have to say? Very little. But he seemed very upset when he learned of her death. I didn't tell him how she died. He said Helen Rudd was a good girl. He said Helen Rudd was here buying technical equipment for her government in Europe. Technical equipment? What kind? Laboratory stuff. Did she make any definite purchases? From the arrow company here in town, a Mr. Paul Morio is the head man of this arrow company. Mr. Renfrew, her agent, gave us quite a bit of an argument about coming over here today. Said it was very irregular to show bank statements. But he finally gave in. I didn't need the inspector's help. What time do we have the honor? He said he'd be here at noon. No. You know I'll be busy that time. Well, I didn't think you'd let... Archie, you never do. Your lunch will keep just this once, Mr. Wolf. Not this once, not any other time, Archie. You know I have lunch precisely at noon. Not after, not before. Understand? Yeah. I'd suppose you have the address of the arrow lab supply company. Yes, sir. You want me to go have a talk with Mr. Morio who runs the place? Sometimes, Archie. Your conclusions are fantastic. I'm leaving. One thing more. And? After you return from your visit with Mr. Morio, would you be so kind as to entertain Mr. Renfrew until after my lunch? And don't stand there with the door open. Sorry, boss. I'll go out through the cold chute. Do forgive me. Oh, supply company. Come in. Oh, Mr. Morio in? Yeah, I'm Morio. My name's Archie. Archie Goodwin. What can I do for you, Goodwin? I'm Nero Wolf's assistant. You've heard of Nero Wolf? I don't get around much. Tell me about him. How should I answer that? Any way you like. Nero Wolf's a detective. Do you ever hear of a man who's a detective? I've heard of him. I've heard of him. I've heard of him. I've heard of him. He's a detective. Do you ever hear of a Miss Rene? Stop shadow boxing, Mr. Goodwin. What's on your mind? I understand you saw Miss Rene some laboratory equipment. Is it a jail term? Now listen, Mr. Goodwin. I have a nice respectable business here. So what do you want? Spill it. When did you last see Miss Rene? Two days ago. Talk to her since? Once on the phone. What time was that? Yesterday morning. You called her from your office here? No. From my hotel room. Now look. Let's quit playing cat and mouse. Why all the questions? Miss Rene is dead. Dead? Who did it? Now, wait a minute. You don't think I had anything to do with it. It makes you think anyone did it. It'd be the only reason cops would get into it. You know, Mario, I'm beginning to wonder just how long you've been in the lab supply business. You know what a retort is? Don't tell me it's a snappy comeback. Now, what's the matter, Goodwin? What's eating you? Look, Mario, I came here to find out something about Helen Rene. Just what sort of equipment did you sell her? It was heavy stuff, heavy chemical work. Where is it? We don't have samples, just pictures. Yeah, we ship it direct. Oh, so the purchaser never sees what he's buying. That's right. Could I see what she purchased? Afraid not, Goodwin. Besides, what difference would it make? Did Miss Rene see what she bought? No, I already explained that. Now I'm busy, Goodwin, so if you don't mind... Okay, I'll run along. Good afternoon, Mr. Mario. I'm sure we'll meet again soon. Near and warm speaking. Archie, boss. Yes, Archie? Just left the Arrow Lab Supply Company and as far as I'm concerned, something's rotten at Denmark. Indeed. This guy, Mario, who runs the company, doesn't sound like a legitimate lab supply man. I think he's running some kind of a racket. What makes you believe that, Archie? Just not the type to be in legit business. Things just don't jive. She didn't see what she bought. You believe then that he would have reason to want Miss Rene out of the way? Yeah. Guy made me see red. I wanted to take a poke at him. Archie, you're an idiotic hothead. He said it was all happy lab stuff she bought and was too late for me to see it. Well, get in there. Get over here as soon as you can. Immediately? Immediately. Have you forgotten you have an appointment with Mr. Renfrow at noon? Goodbye. Coming, coming. Hello, Mr. Goodwin. Mr. Renfrow. Well, well, who's this? My goodness, come in. Yes. Come in, my dear. Thank you. Mr. Goodwin, I brought my secretary along. I hope you don't mind. Mind? Why, Mr. Renfrow, how could anyone object to... Mr. Goodwin, Miss Bennett. Oh, Miss Bennett? First name? Jean. Do you always use this approach, Mr. Goodwin? Only at noon time and my name's Archie. Well, this is a happy surprise. Please sit down, Jean. Allow me. Thank you. Well... Wasn't it Mr. Renfrow you wanted to see? Uh, yes. Mr. Wolfe will be down shortly, Mr. Renfrow. Please be seated. Thank you. Is something wrong, Mr. Goodwin? Not a thing, Miss Bennett. Not from where I sit. I don't believe a word he says, Miss. His judgment concerning women is not to be trusted. Thank you, Mr. Wolfe. You're so kind. Mr. Wolfe, Miss Bennett. How do you do? Mr. Wolfe? Ah... Mr. Renfrow, I presume. Yes? Now we can get down to business at hand, Mr. Renfrow. Yes, yes, by all means. I don't understand why we couldn't have discussed this on the phone, Mr. Wolfe. The whole thing is highly irregular. Of course, I know you're trying to do your duty, but... I prefer not to discuss the dead girl's business affairs on the phone, Mr. Renfrow. You should appreciate that. Yes, yes, I see. Now, what is it you wish to know? How long have you known me, Helen Renne? About a month. When's the last time you talked to her? Yesterday. What time? Why, about 2.30. I called her from my room. She was here on government business. You brought the canceled checks? Here you are, Mr. Wolfe. Hmm... Quite sizable amounts, Mr. Renfrow. Very interesting indeed. Yes? You see, Miss Renne made some very large purchases, Mr. Wolfe, and of course they were all quite legitimate. Hmm... Would you mind if I kept these checks overnight? Well, I... Thank you, Mr. Renfrow. By the way, was Miss Renne right or left-handed? Why, uh, left-handed, Mr. Wolfe? Why? Just inquisitive. Now, if you would excuse me, Miss Bennett, Mr. Renfrow, I have a very urgent appointment. Well, if I could be of any more service, don't hesitate to call on me, Mr. Wolfe. Thank you, sir. Oh, dear. Poor Miss Renne. I hope the person who did this dreadful thing is dealt with properly. Indeed. I, uh, must run along now. Yes, this way. Miss, you go too, Miss Bennett? Good day, Mr. Wolfe. I must, then. Good day. See you soon, Miss Bennett. Well, boss, what do you think? Isn't she a beauty? I'm sure I'm not a fair jajarji. Do you happen to know where the Mario Warehouse is? Well, yes. It's at the other end of town near the river. Oh, no, not again. Nine o'clock tonight. Okay, okay. I suppose you want me to take a gander at what's in the warehouse, break in like a burglar? Archie, if you're free of women, I do believe you could reach phenomenal heights in this your chosen profession. Nothing around here with a bunch of old tubes and glassware. I hope Wolfe knows what he's doing. I don't. All right. Stand where you are and reach. What's it? Flip the lights on, Joe. That's better. Now, sing up and tell me what you're doing here. I beg your pardon. I'm a little deaf. I couldn't hear you. I said, what are you doing here? Oh, Ellen, I was supposed to meet her here. Makes sense, will you? You think I can? What's the matter, Mac? This is a test. And this bird refuses to talk. Well, Ellen, you're not going to talk. You two talk it over. Don't bother telling me how it comes out. Hey, wait a minute, Joe. You ain't leaving. All right, you win. This night is just full of surprises. Ain't it? Let's see what you're talking. Hey, who do you think you're shoving around? Just full of questions, ain't you? You know, someday you're going to end up by getting into trouble. It's illegal to push people around. I guess you better understand. Hey, you're kidding. Get the point. Now, get up. Now, talk. You're not going to talk. You're not going to talk. You're not going to talk. You're not going to talk. Get up. Now, talk. Who are you? You still want to play, huh? He's up like a light, Mac. What are you going to do with him? He won't do any more snooping around here. You know something, Mac? You've got an awful disposition. I'm actually scared of you. You know that mean? Yeah. Now dump him outside. Hey, boss. It's me, Archie, remember? Archie, these interruptions are detestable. Can't you see I'm busy? Is that you, Archie? I've been busy, too, boss. Look at my face. I had an accident. From your appearance, I'd say that someone else had been busier. All right, Mr. Goodrin, as long as you insist upon interrupting my meditation, start at the beginning. Mr. Wolfe, I arrived at the warehouse. I went inside. I saw a lot of packing cases and a bunch of old glassware, worn out junk. Two men jumped me. I came too lying in the alley. I staggered to a cab and made it home. End of story. Archie, your repertoire of words is most astonishing. And your description of Moriel's warehouses without doubt most enlightening. I thought you'd like it. And now, Archie, I suggest you get Fritz to give you a piece of beef steak for that eye of yours. And after that? I've arranged the gathering for five o'clock tomorrow afternoon. Then I shall repair to my bed to suffer in silence. You should be more careful on these nefarious expeditions. You might get hurt sometime. Yes, I've been a careless fellow, Mr. Wolfe. Good night. Good night, Archie. Present dreams. Mr. Wolfe, I'm glad you called me early. I was just about to leave town for a couple of days. What is this conference about? None of this time, sir, if you please. I'm glad you could come along, Miss Bennett. I'll be happy to assist in any way I can, Mr. Goodwin. Archie. Right. Well, good evening, Mr. Moriel. I knew we'd meet again. No, follow mine, Goodwin. Please come in. Come in, Mr. Moriel. You don't want to keep the rest of the guests waiting. What do you want with me? What do I want? Nothing. Mr. Wolfe, this is Mr. Moriel. Sit down, sir. Take the red leather chair. For special guests, Mr. Moriel. Yeah. Now, gentlemen, you're probably wondering why I asked you here. Naturally, you know it has to do with the death of Helen Rene. Oh, well, Mr. Moriel, I understand you and Miss Rene had some business transactions and in the past, you had some business transactions and involved quite a sum. That you purchased laboratory equipment. That's right. Archie told me that your warehouse contained nothing but secondhand junk. It was a shame, Mr. Moriel, that this shipment was delayed by a shipping shortage. Otherwise, you might have gotten away with it. Is this why you called me over here? It is immaterial to the keys at hand. Actually, I'm only interested in Helen Rene's murder. Hey, wait a minute. You don't think I did it? Didn't you? No. Mr. Wolfe, I admit everything you said about the equipment, but I've had no part in any murder. All right, see? Mr. Breavey, you're the pilot of Warflower. If you had shot the girl and wanted it to look like suicide, in which hand would you put the gun? Why, uh, her right hand. Indeed. Where did you first meet Miss Rene? Boarding the plane at Orly Field, Europe. Mr. Renfrew, now look here, Wolfe, this has gone too far. I won't be put through any third degree. If you'll excuse me, I have to get to the desk. Sit down, Renfrew. Well, I... Mr. Renfrew, I'm astonished that anyone would be as amateur as they were in this case. I don't understand. Could it be that you killed Miss Rene and attempted to make it look like suicide because he was about to tell me that through forgeries, her bank account was $50,000 short? Well, what reason would I have to kill her? You told me yourself you phoned Miss Rene from your hotel the day she died. Yet there was no outgoing calls charged to your account. Oh, this is nonsense. Ridiculous. She suddenly became suspicious of you. And you are probably the only person here who knew that she was left-handed. Well, what does that have to do with it? She was shot through the right temple, Mr. Renfrew, while talking on the telephone. With a gun in her left hand, would it be awkward for her to twist her arm around her face and shoot herself? In your excitement, you forgot you had shot her in the right temple. And what else do you know, Mr. Wolfe? That you once worked in Europe where you met Miss Rene, a range to represent her in this country. Only you would know how much he had in the account here. I've heard enough of this nonsense. Yesterday, you made a statement, quote, I hope whoever did this dreadful thing is dealt with properly. Only the police, the Artie and I, knew Miss Rene, had not died naturally. How did you know that? Unless you are the murderer. Don't make a move, any of you. I was forced to eliminate her. She accidentally learned about the shortage, and she became most unreasonable about it. Pwned you about it. Oh, dear me. So utterly weary of these melodramatics. Put up that gun. I've spent 15 years sweating, trying to get enough money to live the way that I want. And now I have it, and neither you nor anybody is going to take it away from me. I'll kill anyone who tries to follow me out of this house. Or else we'll stand back. Mr. Renfrew, don't! Please! I will take that gun from you and... I'll get Renfrew. What the... Well, Inspector, you certainly arrived at the proper time, even if you are late. What do you mean late? I've been standing out there listening to Renfrew for five minutes. Boy, that's too close. Glad he missed you, Inspector. Well, good night, Mr. Wolf. You're not so fast, Mr. Morio. I suggest you hold Mr. Morio here for sending Miss Renny and her government. And, uh, Archie. Yes, sir? Do you know how to care for a person who is fainted? I certainly do. And look behind you, your pretty miss Bennet has collapsed. I'll get it. Hello? Is this Miss Jean Bennet? Yes. Is Archie good in there? Well, well, yes. Just a minute. It's for you, Archie. For me? No one knows I'm here. Hello? I thought I'd find you there, Archie. How'd you know I was here? I figured that by the skills you expressed on reviving a patient from a deep faint. Archie, on the way home, I heard a voice. Archie, on the way home, I want you to stop at the delicatessen and pick up the following things. Ham, beer, cheese, olives. My boss. How'd he know you were here? Pure deduction. That's why he's called the world's greatest detective. Really? Come here. Yes. Archie, you shouldn't have... Ah. Archie. Archie, you're listening to me. Oh, well, I guess you didn't hear a word of it. Ha ha ha ha. Good night, Archie. You have been listening to the new adventures of Nero Wolves starring Sidney Green Street. The End Tonight's transcribed story by Virgil Reimer was based on the characters created by Rex Stout. This is an Edwin Fadiman production produced and directed by J. Donald Wilson. In the cast were Harry Bartel as Archie Goodwin and Lucille Alex, Val Brown, Bill Johnstone, Hal Gerard, Betty Lou Gerson, Vic Rodman, and Ed Bailey. This is Don Stanley speaking. Three Chimes Mean Good Times on NBC. Just listen to the stars on this Sunday's big show. Jimmy Durante, Ethel Merman, Milton Burle, and Gordon MacRae. Plus Meredith Wilson and his orchestra. Your emcee on the big show, of course, is the glamorous Tallulah, and you're invited. And on Theatre Guild on the Air this Sunday, you'll hear the comedy The Man in Possession starring Rex Harrison and Lili Palmer. Now forget here, Ethel Merman, on the big show Sunday on NBC.