The Most Delusional Woman In Financial Audit History

To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. Everyone around you is telling you you're bad with your finances, but you just don't think it's as bad as they all say. It's not as bad. It might be as bad as they say. You're married? Not anymore. Correct. You want to get into that? Because we can. At least I can hold down someone. It cost me probably upwards of like $45, $50. Because everything was... $50,000 so far for this? there's a quiet okay that's historic i've never heard anything like that on this show i mean i'm living my life i'm enjoying what i do i'm paying my bills i'm making money you shut the f*** up something big is coming something that's going to change personal finance forever and the first 500 members get to lead the charge go to dollarwise.com to change the future Hi, I'm Dolly. I'm 38 from Knoxville, Tennessee, and this is Financial Audit. Yes, it is. Thanks for coming down. What do you do up there in Knoxville for a living? I work remote. Okay, what do you do? I didn't ask you if you worked in... Okay, I don't want to be a dick. Relax, relax. Revenue Cycle Systems Manager for a healthcare company based in California. Well, guys, she's remote. The most important thing to know about her job. Yeah. What do you make in your remote position? So I actually had to look it up when I was filling out the application for the show. You had to look up your pay. I did. I had a general idea. Like salary is about $110 a year. About $110. How do you not know your salary? I understand, listen, bonuses can fluctuate. Okay, maybe we don't know our take-home taxes and stuff like that. It's not perfect. But this is your literal just on the – where you signed on the dotted line contract agreement of what your salary is. how do you not know because you get like percentage increases i've been there for a couple years now so i've gotten a couple increases and you don't know what it lands to it's like one one ten we'll say one ten can we say what it is actually instead of is you want me to pull it up you said about one right now i would like to know your pay but you said about one ten what we'll go with one ten i'll pull it up if you want the exact number no you will go with we'll go with whatever the real number is thank you 110 no you mora you listen you told me we'll go with and it's about how about do you know that's the real number 110 you're just saying that over and over again okay that's that you're just saying that over and over again um i'm just trying to clarify you told me about and we'll go with do you know for a fact that it is 110 110 we'll go with 110 do you want me to pull it up so you can see the exact number holy shit i offered to do that when i got here are you yeah i was involved in that conversation when i wasn't there when you got here what are you talking about well hold on i will get it and i share the same mind we're like in but what is it was the apple show plibris plibris or plubris are we like all a hive mind here i know the exact conversation you had with him when you walked in the door no i said i offered at this table when we started to i said do you want me to pull it up and i said yes you said no the first you didn't say anything the first time so i can't even get logged in now hold on uh-huh can't even get logged in now oh calm down is this an issue typically you're making it no i logged into it yesterday now it's like well it seems like an emergency like this never happens well i don't log in from my phone i don't know anything about you i go into these blind as I told you, but literally the one quote I have from you in conversations with Colton is that everyone around you is telling you you're bad with your finances, but you just don't think it's as bad as they all say. And you essentially wanted to come on to prove to those people that it's not as bad as they say. It's not as bad. You can't tell me how much you make and you can't log into your account to tell me how much you make. It might be as bad as they say. I don't log in from my phone. I log in from my laptop, which has my password saved. That's why. The laptop that you work remote on? Yeah. Password saved. Why do you not have the same password manager installed in your phone? Because if I access it from my laptop and it says, hey, you need to reset your password. You need to change your password. It's been however many days. It saves the password in the password in the website. Password manager? Password manager. Thank you. Of which, why do you not have that same password? But it's not on my phone. I'm asking. No, you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's actually the dumbest thing. We need to break down that conversation real quick just so you know that maybe everyone around you might actually be right. You said, oh, you know, the password says it on my computer. That's why I can't have it on my phone. And I asked, okay, why don't you have the password manager on your phone? And then he said, well, when they ask to change it every few days, I save it in my password manager. And my password manager is not on my phone. It's on my computer. That didn't answer why it's not on your phone, you moron. How did you possibly do that? That was one of the most idiotic things I've ever experienced. It says the application is not available. That's why I can't get in. What application is not available? Dayforce. It's down. Huh? The Dayforce app where I can pull up my pay. Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. It says it's down. It says it's not available. It doesn't say it's down. That might be an error message of you. But to explain why I couldn't just open it up. It doesn't say everything's down. It's one of those general messages. Okay. Okay. I will. I mean, it is. It isn't our system is having issues. I'm going in from the web version instead of the app to see if it lets me in. Give me one second. Holy hell. Okay. You're the one putting me through pain and trouble. I'm sorry. What are you reacting for? What are you talking about? Here, here, here. Colton says you legit don't know your pay. Oh, he knows your pay. And you were wrong. Am I wrong? Oh, my. I'm not telling you. Figure out. Let's see if you're able to do this. Okay. Hold on. Year end statement. Year end statement. You can't just tell me your pay stub. No, you said you were looking for your pay stub. Your most recent pay stub will tell me how much you bring in net. Oh, does it? I don't know. Well, bi-weekly, it's 30-35. So you know that? Yes. You asked me what my pay was. I thought you meant annual. That's fine. I didn't think you'd know the other one either. It's 30-35. Sorry, I broke your microphone. It's $30,35 every two weeks. I thought you were asking for my annual salary. I apologize. I was, but the fact that I assumed you wouldn't know your net either if you didn't know your salary. It's kind of concerning that you don't know your salary for the job that you agreed to do. $3,035 every two weeks. You make pretty good money for a cheap area of Knoxville because it's basically like a city that's completely collapsed. No, that's Memphis. Never mind. Sorry, I apologize. Knoxville, I don't know. Other end of the state. Yes. Okay. Like Appalachia, right? so okay great hair okay well yeah i don't know i don't hang with heroin addicts really your arms say different i got these in california with heroin addicts no skid row no tenderloin district no 6070 bucks a month is pretty good for coal country i think it's it's every two weeks i think it ended up being like 65 75 total like because it's like four and a half weeks in a month so 30 30 35 weekly or what bi-weekly 30 35 every two weeks oh my god actual i don't believe you know i don't believe anything you're saying you can give me an apology when you look at it and say oh yeah it is 30 35 every two weeks sure except i have a feeling you don't even know how to make it through a honey other side of the road i got here and it's impressive every time let me You're welcome. For my company. I'm a delight. You're married? No. Correct. Not anymore. Correct. You want to get into that? Because we can. I'm sure we will at some point. But are we surprised? You're going to feel really bad. So it's fine. I'm going to feel bad? You're going to feel bad if we get into it. Okay, maybe. I don't know. I looked at this last night. it is 30 35 though per paycheck per paycheck and that paycheck that directly hits at that point is only every two weeks yes but and you're gonna hate this and two months a year you get three two months a year you get three are you semi-monthly or bi-weekly two times a month i get three what are you talking about your math doesn't make sense whoa i don't know the kind of hair when they make in these 30 35 every two weeks yes it's 65 75 are you bi-monthly are you first and 15th are you every other week every other week okay but two months a year every day what so wait what day force allows you it gives you your available pay every day at the end of the work day there's what so i transfer to my account every day No! What? Every day. Listen, I understand in the case of an emergency, in every kind of debt, even a quick little 500 take can be utilized correctly. There is not a single kind of debt that you can't manipulate in your favor in some kind of way. The fact is, if you are taking it every single day, I know you are not in a good position. There is no way. What? To get that daily fix? What the? Why? Well, you're on this show, you moron. Meaning we accepted some really bad finances, moron. I mean, why is it bad to move the money to my checking account every day? Why is it bad? If you lose a job and just forget your old 401k like it's a gym membership that you never use, it turns out 25% of 401ks are lost or forgotten, and that is not pocket change. It is your retirement ghosting you. Enrolling over a 401k? Good luck. You're calling old employers, hunting paperwork, maybe even faxing things like it's 1998. That is why today's sponsor, Capitalize, exists. They're a free concierge platform that helps you find your old 401k, open or connect an IRA of your choice, and handle the entire rollover for you from start to finish. So if you've ever switched jobs and left a 401k behind, roll it over today. Seriously, your future self will thank you. Big thanks to Capitalize for sponsoring. Let's get back to the show. Because that means you likely don't know how to manage yourself in between normal paychecks. If you're having to take it every day, there's a reason why you feel like you are. Then why are you? I like to. Then why are you? Why do you like to? What's the feeling? What happens? I like to see the money in my account. And why? So I can pre-plan for my bills. Pre-plan? F*** your bills. What are you talking about? You're on the show. You don't pay your bills. You don't know what you're talking about. I do pay my bills. How much debt do you have now you even know in your income? What's your debt amount? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Pre-plan? What are you planning? Don't know your debt amount. What the f*** are you planning? What are you talking about? It's like... It's like... It's like $49,000, $50,000. Let's just say... Let's just say... But I... By the way, you make $4,000 more than you thought. I'm just going to let you know on a yearly basis. That's loans. Do you consider a mortgage a debt? No. Okay. Well, you should include the mortgage. How much debt do you have? The mortgage is 173 remaining. Why do you know that out of everything? Because I look at it. You look at your mortgage? Well, I log in to pay my mortgage every month, and it says it in big, bold letters or numbers. You have a mortgage, but you're not good enough for auto pay? Maybe you shouldn't have gotten a mortgage. I hate auto pay. Oh, I'm sure you do. I'm sure we'll have some things. I only do auto pay on accounts where I get a discount for being on auto pay, like the cell phone bill. Guarantee you have late fees. Guarantee. There's not a chance. So how much debt do you have? Including the house. That is a debt, you dumb tit. You're a tit. I am a tit. 173 plus 50. What is that, 223? Including the home. Oddly close, 225. How the f*** do you not know your salary, but you know well close to how much debt you have? How can your pre-plan, based on how much debt you have, if you don't know your f***ing income? And you thought you got paid an extra half paycheck on a monthly basis? Well, it's because you do your little pay advance, but you know you likely pay a fee for that, most likely. Even if pennies, something will happen. I need to look at it then. I'll show it to you. I left the money in there from yesterday. I didn't pull it out, so I can show you. Is it one of the statements in here? There's no way. I don't believe for a single f***ing second. It's in the checking account. It's in the checking account? Mm-hmm. It's like day force, day force, day force, day force. Or I can show it to you. Show it to me. Okay. I left the money in there from last night so that I can show you there's nothing. Oh, Colton wants to clarify that you're just looking good right now, saying that entire number, but he knows from the phone calls he had with you onboarding, you didn't know a single set of what your debt was until you pulled for this show. Yeah, 100%. So you only know back and forth. I am good with money, though. Like, I do keep an eye on what I owe. Like, I can give you a general idea of, like, what amount I have, like what my balance is. Pause. Let me look. Yeah. I can walk you through it. I don't think I need your help. I don't know. Okay. This is well, at least get one of the pop. I don't like those. But at least I can put it. I can lay it flat if I want to. I can just like flip it over. You shut the up. You're very sassy today, Caleb. I don't appreciate it. Sassy every day. Great. Me too. At least I can hold down someone again. Well, we can get into it and you're going to feel like a real asshole maybe but luckily i know nothing so it's impossible for me to feel like an asshole if something bad happened well that's not my fault okay you doing okay over there need some help no i'm good i'm looking at everything okay one eternity later okay so here's a big transfer you transfer out 250 dollars 70 cents and then once you're so when does this 250 dollars 70 cents hit the account. So that hit the account. I believe it's like one to three days. Crazy. And there's a card on here as well. I don't actually use it. I guess you can add the money to your card. Yeah, you can add the money. And then you can also transfer it off the card to your checking account. Crazy. I see you have not used the save feature. The what feature? Save feature. Save feature, no. Save. I have a savings account. I'm good with my money. Get your paycheck up to two days faster. I don't do that. I don't do the instant transfers. That's probably where the fee is. I don't do the instant transfers. I just transfer it and it, for the no fee. Okay. Yeah. I mean, they use it as a perk for their platform for the payroll service to be extra valuable as a service to be paid for by your company. With no fee. No fee based on how you're doing it now, but you're doing, you have to wait three, four days. I don't understand. I don't know why I do the daily transfer. I just, I like to see the money in my account. That's why I use it. I don't know why. Do you think if you were being paid every other week and only being paid every other week, you'd be being able to manage between? I think so. I mean, I'm good with my money. I'm good with my credit cards. Like, I think I'm the only good credit card person that you've met. I have balances across the board. Like, what the are we talking about? Like, listen, what do you how can you even say that? How can you even say you're doing well? Because I pay my credit card bills. I pay them on time. Okay, you made about like $5,700 last month. It could be just timing as to how I'm transferring it out. I do. Maybe. It could, yeah. What was your outflow? What was your outflow? Maybe $5,000? Okay, this is you good with finances and pre-planning. It's $5,000, saying $5,000. I pay all my bills on my credit card. You pay your bills on your credit card? I do. You use your credit cards to pay your bills. everything that doesn't have to come out of checking account to actually take care of that balance of course that makes sense that's why it became yeah your minimum's great wonderful and let's see every time someone has said that that is not true but we'll see $10,940.42 was outflow? outflow maybe everyone around you isn't the crazy one and in fact you are I don't think so really? did you not just hear that number? I did hear it. That's substantial. You brought in almost $6,000, which has been $11,000. I don't drain my checking account down to zero and then start taking the money as the month goes by. There's usually a few thousand dollars in there. Well, no shit. You're putting everything on credit cards until they're all maxed out, and then you can't open another credit card because your credit is shit, and then you're fucked. I said until they are. You idiot. I said until they do. They're not maxed out. No shit, I said until you do. continue down the path of only putting your bills on credit cards only making the minimum monthly payments I don't make minimum monthly payments shut the f*** up we will go through everything but I guarantee you spend more than you pay towards it guaranteed absolutely you wouldn't be on this show if it wasn't the case I mean that's just a reality okay if you were fine you wouldn't be here I mean and you just thinking you're okay is going to be a disservice to you for your entire life at the end of the day I have things that I very much enjoy doing that are costly. What? I have to travel, things like that. I play cornhole competitively outside of work. It's great. Have you ever played cornhole? Yes, I exist. Right. It's fun. But competitive? Yes. And you were spending money on this? Yes. Meaning, is it even competitive if you're the one spending money on this and you're not getting paid for it? Can we consider this anything worth bragging about? You get paid if you place high enough in your bracket. Well, it sounds like you're not placing high enough in your bracket. Well, you know, I'm playing against pros. Okay, you just said you play competitively. It sounds like you would be the pro, except you're not. You're a failure, and you probably shouldn't be doing this because it's costing you money you don't have. The trips themselves, I would say they're more for the camaraderie, the enjoyment of the game. Okay, f*** you. Okay, so can I explain? No. Yes. okay i in general i don't like you practice three hours every single night why don't you go get another job asshole you gotta pay off that dude do you have any kids no because you're with someone okay thank goodness okay so yes thank goodness okay aging dying alone okay that's fine i'm fine with it then you're right then you're right it doesn't matter no one has any dependence so yeah your life that's okay exactly yolo do you have any pets i do ah okay you have some dependence I have three dogs. Okay. They're adorable. Do you have pet insurance? I do. Okay, then as long as you're feeding them well, you got pet insurance, you're taking care of them. Yeah, for your life, who gives a shit? Well, I mean, eventually, Cornhole can make me money, though. That's why I practice, because I want to get better. Yeah, three hours a night. Okay, go on. What? So three hours a night. Crazy. But go on. I enjoy it. It's fun. I know you enjoy it. I enjoy things, too. I wouldn't do things to the detriment of myself if I had to do other things that are responsible. When you enjoy something that's skill-based, yeah, practice. Skill-based, yes. Skill-based. If you were a musician, you wouldn't want to practice playing the guitar or the piano or whatever. I'm not against that. I am saying you have bad debt. Maybe you need to work more, but you're spending all of your energy towards that when maybe you do not have the ability to do so right now because you need to make some personal choices. I'd like to see my people. Exactly, but you're not making enough to travel and pay off your debt at the same time, and yet you're spending all your time practicing cornhole so you don't even make more money to pay for the travel. Well, that's why I'm here. I want you to help me budget. I can't make you make more money, asshole. No, but you can help me budget my money. Sure, I can make a budget. I can't force you to budget. It's your behavior and look where you've led. Look where you've come from. I don't care about the that's why you're here. Look at where you came from. That's why you're here. I can make a budget. It doesn't impact anything afterwards if you don't change your behavior. Your behavior is what puts you here in the first place and this first part of the conversation is figuring out what your life is, what your behavior is, what your takes are. And your takes are, you will not sacrifice not throwing a bag for three hours a day every single day of your life and traveling to throw more bags in holes. It's fun. I know it's fun. I don't go on vacation. I never argued that it isn't. I don't go on vacations. Okay, neither do I. Okay. Are we jerking each other off? What the f*** are we doing? I do want to enjoy my time, though, and see my people. I'm not saying that is a bad thing. I'm saying temporary sacrifices for a better life is oftentimes good. And I'm not even saying you can't do cornhole. But three hours every single night when you have really bad debt is an interesting place to focus all of your energy instead of being a doll at almost 40. Not 40 yet. That's why I said almost. You know words and how they work. Yeah, I do. We don't have to say almost 40. You can just say like your upper 30s. Sure, but you look 50. Well, that's rude. So you do not need to be throwing these bags every single day when you're absolutely suffering. I'm not asking you to. I'm saying three hours every single day is an interesting place to put your energy when you're f***ing. And not acting like. I don't think I'm f***ing though. Everyone around you is correct. And I want them to know that they were correct. And she came on here for you to not be correct. But you are correct. They're not. Okay. Make the argument then. Lay the case. How are you not correct? Do you need the whiteboard? Do you want to draw something? You want to tell your story? What the f***? How are they? How is everyone around you, the crazy people, not you? I mean, I'm living my life. I'm enjoying what I do. I'm paying my bills. I'm making money. I'm not paying your bills. I am paying my bills. Not in the actual, true, literal sense. You're putting them on credit cards. Well, I do that for the cashback. By category. I do it. With the amount of interest you are earning, what the f*** are you talking about? Shut the f*** up. You're not a cashback person. You're not a credit card person. I am a cashback person. You don't know what you're doing. You go to a cornhole tournament literally every single weekend. No, not every weekend. Colton is telling me. I'm here this weekend, right? There's a major in Knoxville. No, it's Friday. Yeah. You could be flying to a tournament tomorrow. I don't know. But the tournaments are Friday through Sunday. So let's talk about student loans. I know it's something we all avoid talking about. 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That is 888-973-3978. Break free from the high interest trap and get your finances under control once and for all. And how much does it cost to pay for these? How much does it cost to attend? For the bigger events. Your average weekend event. The ones that I travel to. So if I drive or fly, it's obviously going to be a little bit different, but it's between like $600 and $1,000. Except for World Championships, which is in August. World Championships! Which is a whole week. That's a whole week, so that's a little more expensive. How much does that cost? I should know, but I don't. Over $1,000. Tournament entry fees, hotel. I drive there. It's always in South Carolina, so it's drivable. And what are you hoping for? I share a hotel every time. Who? Friend. okay persuasion uh-huh yeah he plays he's a pro this year not in your hole while you throw bags in other holes i mean yeah that's the way to do it are you sure you're not only doing this to get your love no because i started playing before i even met him no i know but now are you not just doing this so you can meet up with your long i'm assuming long distance yeah you guys meet at these locations yeah i mean it he so he's in sounds like you have extra encouragement i think to Well, I feel horrible for him. Why? I feel horrible for both of you. Knoxville, Illinois, f*** off. Knoxville's great. I love Knoxville. I grew up in Orange County in California, and I moved to Tennessee, and no regrets. I absolutely love it there. I love it there. Your money goes way further. I could buy a house by myself, not have roommates. Yeah, but there's more to life than just that. Listen, I'm not defending California, but at least Orange County here is halfway decent. Yeah, I mean, I don't think that we necessarily belonged there. My parents moved us there and they shouldn't have. I was born in Arkansas. They took us to Southern California. They didn't make the money for that. I don't care. I do not care. This contributes nothing to this conversation. Fine. I'm sorry. You're not so great, for the record. Uh-huh. Okay. Okay, but I'm just saying, are you not extra encouraged to blow all this money and spend all this time that, honestly, you don't really have? Instead of growing up to being an adult in order to get, you know, the fucking his bags in your doll. that's not the reason i go no it's nice actually encouraged it's nice to be able to get loaded listen it's nice to be able to share the cost of the hotel with another person and reduces the cost i have to pay for the travel and has come okay does that happen every single time i mean we stay in the same hotel exactly well by the way i mean i've stayed places with women i have no i know i have to i've traveled with other people before i'm like yeah i would just get two separate beds we don't do that we get one bed is he hot i think he is let me see oh what the oh okay let's add a cornhole event oh yeah he's wearing a literal uh corn stars shirt it's a jersey this is a whole thing it is it looks a lot younger than you yes How young is he? He just turned 30. Oh, okay. So not like way younger, but younger. We don't need to talk about it. You already did. Okay, so again, come on, let's be honest. You certainly have an extra incentive to go. Sure. Yes. How long have you guys been seeing each other? It depends on what you mean by seeing each other. Taking his cock. um i'm so bad it's either like i think it's like two three years wait how long have you been divorced um we got divorced before i moved to got to tennessee so i think it was 2015 oh okay so you've been single for a long time yeah yeah okay so you you've been you've been getting railed at these events for three years two years yeah it's a good time yeah no i don't blame you i don't blame you and listen as a fan of being a railer so huh no commitment you know so that's the thing so is that what you're doing are we just on the free-flowing fun train cornhole tournaments yeah yeah but you know this means that you cannot sacrifice that because this is where you get your love this is where you get your affection this is where you get your social but i don't want to sacrifice that i don't want to like what do you What do you think a sacrifice is? It's something you don't want to do. I have scaled down, though, from last season and the season before. Define scale down. What does it look like? What does it look like? So two or three seasons ago, I spent, and I invoiced it. We've got a back story if you want it, but it was $16,000 for the year that I spent. In tournament entry fees and travel, gas, hotel, airfare, if I had to fly, that stuff. And I went to, I think it was 11 out of 16 of the big events. I went to just about everything. Well, no, 11 out of the 16. Well, a lot of them. But they were all the big ones where you had to, it was the more expensive ones, rather than just the local tournaments that we played. You had those five poverty ones. Well, we've got local tournaments during, like in Knoxville area, during the week, throughout the week, and then weekends have, it's a little bit bigger. Is that why you moved to Knoxville? Is it a big cornhole time? No, I actually didn't start playing until I was already in Knoxville. I hope I don't pick up those kind of hobbies and lifestyles in my 30s, now that I'm well in it. It was like a social league that did a bunch of different sports. They did like softball. Okay, so you, and then you cut back. What's your cutback? So we just had our fifth open of the season. And usually by that time. When does the season start? Because we're like. Oh my gosh. It's October through August. It's, it's pretty much year round. Oh yeah. They make money. Yeah. They want to make money. October's the beginning of the season. The one that I just went to in Myrtle Beach was number five. Normally I've gone to at least three already. And how much have you spent? I think for that, it was four days. It was probably around $700 for the whole four days. Okay, listen. No way you didn't spend more money than that because food and whatnot, or did the man? We split it. We split the hotel, yeah. We're not in a relationship. Pleasure. We're not in a relationship. Yeah, but it's Raylan. We split the hotel. He'll pay for dinner. I'll pay for dinner. We make it fair. So how much are you actually expecting that you can make from this? If this is our commitment in time, colon hole champion of heroes. It's more the big events are more for the social aspect of it. Like there is the ability to win quite a bit of money. What's quite a bit of money? Tens of thousands of dollars. That's if you like win your bracket or win like the face off. And how close have you ever gotten? Not that close. Right. But that's what I'm saying is like it's the big events are more, at least from my level where I'm at right now, are more of like the social aspect of it, where I see all my friends from around the country, sometimes like the other, sometimes Canada, I think they come down every now and then, and I would never get to see those people. But we all go to these events across the country and we get to... In episode behind the scenes production note here, Wes or Colton or Brandon, can you please tell Mark to go get a cornhole set from Walmart real quick? He should be back by the time we're done so we can go to the... He tried. Oh, but I can get Mark to do anything. Make him go in the rain. His little Mexican ass is going to melt. Okay. We're going to get some cornhole. Okay. I brought a set of bags with me, just in case. I have one. That's a real cornhole bag. I don't know what a fake one is. Well, they're like the literal corn in a bag. Like if you get a set off Amazon or something, it's usually like kind of hanky boards. Hey, cornhole elitist. All right. Power? Power dragon. That's the type of bag it is. No. That's like the line of the bag. There's different fabrics, different speeds, different fill. Something for everyone to spend all their money on. It's fun. Okay, so you got divorced and you immediately fleed California? That was the play? It was like half the reason. Maybe like half the reason why I left. Five years? Okay, what happened? I'll see if I feel bad. It ended up being a lot of one financial abuse on his part and domestic abuse. Oh, I feel bad. Yeah. Okay, so you say you're a credit card person. Why do I have all these balances in front of me that are not going anywhere? You don't know your income. I guess actually kind of know your debt situation. Like what do you mean you're a credit card person? How can you say that? Make your argument. Lay it out. If everyone around you is telling you to lay out your argument. Okay. So I know you've already yelled at me about I'm not a cashback person, but I have. Not a cashback person. It's not about being a cashback person. Listen, I use my credit cards strategically based on the category of the purchase. So like all my travel stuff goes on one card. All of my dining stuff goes on one card because and they're all set up for three percent cash back by category. Doesn't matter if it's losing interest. So when everyone around you is telling you, what are they saying? What is everyone around you saying? Mostly that I waste my money on bullshit, which is like a stupid hobby. But you disagree. I disagree. It's just the cornhole thing. It can't just be cornhole. They can be your entire life. A lot of it is cornhole. It's the traveling. It's investments I've made into my passion, if you will. Okay, how much have you spent into your passion? Dude, miscellaneous bullshit was $2,000 itself. Definitely overspend, for sure. Okay, so everyone around you is right. Well, it's like the online shopping for me, as an example. Online shopping? I don't like to go shopping in stores. I'd much rather just borrow stuff. You might see a minority and get terrified? No, not at all. Go outside? Scary? No, I just, you know, it's just easier. But the problem is that if there's like an option involved in what I'm buying, like a color option and I can't pick, I just buy both. What the? You do make good income. You should not be struggling. Yeah. Like I said, I have an overspending issue. And then my hobby is on the expensive side. For sure. The bullshit spending. I don't consider cornhole bullshit spending. How? Wow. It's something that isn't actually like it's a hobby. Hobbies are still bullshit spending. You can't say it's not. It's bullshit spending. It is not necessary to you being alive as a human or improving your financial situation. Bullshit spending doesn't necessarily mean bad. I give a bullshit spending category of 30 literal percent of your income once you're out of debt and have a fully funded emergency fund. I just don't consider it bullshit spending. With what I just described, how can you not? I just don't. Okay. How does cornhole, $45,000, whatever the f***, go towards paying off your debt? It doesn't, I guess. Okay, how does it go towards you being alive? You staying alive, keeping a roof over your head. Happiness? No, that's not staying alive unless you're contemplating suicide. Well, no, but. Then shut the f*** up. So how does it actually be? I don't want to be a miserable human being. Is it a life necessity? Then it is bullshit. That doesn't mean it is bad necessarily, but it's all contextual. It's contextual given a financial situation. Your financial situation is you spend $11,000 when you bring in six. Your financial situation is you have, well, what's it again? No, $225,000 of debt. Including the mortgage. Only $173,000 of it is a mortgage. Right. So $50,000, essentially a debt. Outside of your mortgage, that's insane. Yeah, it's not ideal. Okay, so that's why I'm saying it's bullshit spending. It doesn't pay that down. it doesn't do anything to keep a roof over your head. Doesn't mean it's bad. I don't tell people they can't go out to eat once they have a fully funded emergency fund and they're out of debt. I don't! I mean, I don't spend a bunch of money going out to eat. I just happen to funnel all the money, all my, quote, bullshit spending into one avenue of my life. You spent 2,000 hours last month. Is that what you're telling me? On cornhole? I had 2,000 hours of miscellaneous bullshit, so if it's not on cornhole, you have a lot more outside of cornhole then. Yeah. So what the f*** are you talking about, dude? It's not just cornhole then. You're right, your eating out was small, but your miscellaneous bullshit, your spending on bullshit was still substantial. It was literally, of your income, 33%. 33% went to miscellaneous bullshit alone. What's considered miscellaneous bullshit? We go through the purchases later, you've seen the show. But that is the category. That is the category. There's other large purchases, it's hard to tell if they're bullshit or not, but there are other large purchases. of which we'll go through the purchases individually $4,684. Combine those two together. That's your entire paycheck. Actually more. Just miscellaneous bullshit and other large purchases. And that's only about 65% of your spending last month. It's not great. So what the fuck are you doing? How can you tell me they're wrong and you're right? How can you tell me, no, it's not bullshit. Your spending was egregious. Your debt is horrendous and you have no idea where any of it's going, including how much is even coming in, because you literally pay advance every single day of your life. Do they know that? Do they know that? I mean, I get a little... Do they know that? Probably. Your friends know that. Oh, I don't know. So they're telling you you're financially f***ing, they don't even know that. So you're probably f***ed on top of what they even think. But I'm not getting fees for doing that. Like, I'm not putting myself in a worse position. I don't feel... No, no, no, no, but you're budgeting by the day, not by the month is the thing. And when we're budgeting by the day and not by the month, a proven method of actually budgeting, you're never going to make any progress. You're spending more than you make. You are in 50,000 hours of bad debt outside of your mortgage. It is not working. So everything adds up to it is not working. So your daily pay advances are not working. It's not benefiting you. You're only going in a negative direction, spending more than you make. So you can't tell me it's not f***ing regardless of there's fees. It's not about just if there's a fee or not. Is your life working? Your financial life? Is it working? No. And everyone around you is telling you that for a reason because it's not. I mean, that's why I know that you can give me some tips and things like that and things that I can change. Okay, spend less than you make. Yeah. Cornhole isn't necessary to keep a roof over your head. There you go. You figured it out. I did start trying to – I know everybody changes for the show or whatever. Instead of taking random dick on various weekends. Well, it is the same person. it's like it's random people every time at least you don't sleep with anyone else so you only get sleep with someone once every few months i mean it depends like right now i'm going to less events so yeah is that depressing you have human needs it's not depressing to me what do you do all day then when you're not you're remote no 40 hours a week probably i doubt you put in more right i do probably like 50 55 um i'm kind of like a one of one in my role so and there are multiple teams Well, yeah. There's multiple teams that depend on what I do in my role, and they're on the West Coast. So I'm off the computer like 5 p.m. Eastern time, but they still have three or four more hours left to their day. How long are they going to accept that? Except what? Because I know you must have been in person while in California before you left, right? Yeah. How long are they going to accept a remote worker that's not on the same timeline as everyone else? I mean, I was out here. I've switched jobs since I moved to Tennessee. I was hired as remote. So I'm fully remote. COVID remote, though? No. When I was in California, the job I was working before I moved, we all got sent home to work from home for COVID. Okay. And then I moved during COVID. So what do you think your financial score is, 0 to 10, 0 being the worst, 10 being the best? I think like a 7. If you want your financial score, take the assessment at calebhammer.com. It is free. See where you stand in the world of money, see where you're doing poorly, what you need to do to improve and where you're already doing great. Just takes a few minutes. Again, it is free. And if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on financial auto, make sure you download the DollarWise budgeting app. 5.0 is out and it is incredible. The best budgeting app out there. It's not complicated for people to even get through the onboarding screen like on YNAB. Like shit, people fall off immediately. It doesn't force you to use a financial system that they dictated like Ramsey's. It doesn't try to sell you a mortgage like rocket money. and it's not private equity just trying to collect your data like they have with Monarch, where it's just raising like a billion dollars of private equity. This is a budgeting app made by the people just like you, for the people just like you. No external funds raised. It is incredible. It is the top of the market now. Take the free trial. See if you like it, DollarWise.app. And only through the end of March. If you do like it, sign up for the annual version. Most people do because it saves 50%. And you get my budget-friendly cookbook signed by me, mailed directly to you. SoFi, what is going on? Is this student? No. Personal. Personal. Personal loan. Okay. So what's going on with this SoFi personal loan? Okay. So the SoFi loan I took out, it was $20,000 loan that I anticipated covering the entire cost of a barn, 800 square foot barn in my backyard to practice and play cornhole. What? $20,000 for a cornhole practicing place? It was more than that. How much was it for your cornhole practicing range? I think it ended up being like over 60K. What the f*** is wrong with you? It was a lot. When did you do this? So I started. What the f***? Do you have anything else going on in your life? It was over a period of two years. Do you have anything else going on in your life? No. What the f***? This is insane. What gamers don't spend that much? Now, what other hobbies are there? Gun enthusiasts maybe, but not over like that quick. it wasn't supposed to be that expensive it was what the f*** show me you better have a picture we'll put it on screen I have an album for you an album what was a curated album for her special little whatever has Mr. Illinois penis been there yeah I mean he's been there once and what did he think I mean, I don't know. We just threw in there for a little bit before we left for a trip. But he wasn't impressed. If I was a cornhole addict, I'd be impressed with the $20,000 cornhole range in someone's backyard. What do you want to see? Do you want to scroll through all the pictures and see? The cornhole range. Well, unless it all of a sudden... My fear of your cornhole folder is all of a sudden it's your hole being plugged in bed. No, it's not. It's just the construction pictures. No, just show me what it looks like now. Okay. That construction. I'm finding it. The result of the end. What did all of our money f***ing lead to? Okay. Because you just spent a thousand trillion dollars. Oh, Colton's telling me it's not even done. What is it going to cost to get done? It's not done because I needed to stop. What the fuck did you have to do for a cornhole range? I needed to stop spending so much money. Is it not a cornhole board? Another cornhole board? And that's it? What all do you need? F*** up. What happened? Well, my first attempt at building a budgeting app, it didn't go over very well. So I'll rewind. After hundreds of financial audit guests, one pattern stood out. People weren't failing because they try. They were being handed crappy tools that weren't built for real life. So I tried to see if I could fix it. In January last year, 2025, I launched an app driven by the belief that budgeting shouldn't feel complicated or intimidating. I had good intentions, but the first app was a complete dumpster fire. I was trusting the wrong developer and that partner cost us thousands. and left my customers with the buggy app that only kind of worked. And that failure forced me to ask a question that I couldn't avoid. Do I walk away or do I try again? Ultimately, I chose to double down and commit to building a new app the right way. Myself and an incredible team. Every dollar that I made from YouTube went straight back into the product. No investors, no shortcuts, just the belief that I could change lives with a better approach. So we rebuilt the app again and again, 38 different versions in total. I obsessed over every single detail that most people wouldn't ever notice. And that's because if this app was going to go live, it had to work for real people with real lives. So everyone who stuck with me and my team shared their feedback and believed in what we're doing. Thank you. You helped shape what this has become. This is my vision for the future of budgeting. And I'm just getting started. DollarWise 6.0 is finally launching on February 17th. Rewrite your money story. Learn more at DollarWise.com. We're so fucking back. That's kind of fucking stupid, I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money. We like free money. You can get up to $350 in bonus cash right now. When you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime. Also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Sign up for time. Get that $350 right now in your checking account. What the f*** are you swiping through? I'm trying to find the done picture. You said you only want to see the finished one. Well, why would I want to see the f*** construction? Well, right. I'm almost there. Well, right. Okay, you agree with me. I promise you. I promise you. it coming up How much is it going to cost to finish What do you need to do I just have to do the floor It inside Yeah You built a whole building for it Oh, my gosh. You built like a vent center for this thing. So as I was building it, I was also like I made. This is insane. You built a whole house just to throw cornhole. It's so fun. Oh, it's not even cute. Okay. Well, I mean. Well, it's not because you haven't done. No, come on. That's not even a room. That's objective. You haven't done anything to it. I haven't finished it yet. It's just a gray room. Yeah, what's the drywall? You can't say it's cute. Exactly. So don't be insulted by that. I didn't say it's cute. You said it was cute. Yeah, but I said it's not cute, and you were offended by it, I saw on your face. I mean, that's objective. It's not. Well, it's not done. Well, once it's done, it might be cute, but it's not cute now, and you were offended by that. It's drywall. I wasn't offended by it. Your face was offended. No, it wasn't. I saw your face. I had to do the floor. I saw your Karen face. paint and then what floor are you putting in there so i want to do you have to pay for flooring you spent 20 000 and this is no it was this is what happens when you are a single woman in your 40s this is where your life leads this is where your life leads 50s this is where your life leads oh listen you don't have to tread it up and pop out babies i'm not saying that but there is a certain biological thing that i think humans crave because it ends up in this it's with this it's awesome well okay so to be fair fair while i was building this one i did not expect it to be i i what the okay i found out later that with construction projects you're supposed to like prepare you're supposed to like double the butt double it for your budget whatever you expect Your budget was $10? No. Your budget was what? My budget was like $25. And then, but there's, I guess people in construction, they say, expect to double. First of all, $25 is insane. What the f*** is wrong with you? $25 for a cornhole? Well, f*** off. Okay, listen. This is what happens being single in your 40s. Listen, I have a slope in my backyard, so I had to cut down all that dirt. You were moving earth for a cornhole? Yep. Single woman in her 40s. It just keeps leading back to that. I love it. I feel like you would like it if you played No it's not that it's like This is your life There's a community involved It's not just like I go to throw bags in a hole Yeah but you travel to them to like Myrtle Beach Yeah They're not all coming to your hole That you spent $25,000 on No it's just for like me and my friends To practice in There's a whole community What have you spent so far If your budget was $25,000 So I got a lot of the contractors that helped in different stages of the project, they actually ended up being sponsors for the season. So they took thousands of dollars off of their cost. How much has it cost you, woman? It cost me probably upwards of like $45,000, $50,000. Because everything was... I know. I'm sorry. Don't yell at me. $50,000 so far for this? there's a quiet okay that's that's historic i've never heard anything like that on this show it's not that bad no no no no no no no that is historic uh a historic what the Okay, so you have a mini split in there. It has its own meter. It has its own meter. It has a roll-up door. I was trying to... A roll-up door? Why do you want a roll-up door if it's going to be a nice spot? Because, listen, I made some decisions in the building process that if I wanted... 150,000. If I wanted to ever at any point sell my house, that it would – think of it this way. If somebody looks at this building being in the backyard, a property that's going to be – That's a cat lady in her 50s. Somebody who would purchase my house in the future if I decided to sell, that's a garage that they can work in and that has its own meter, has its own everything. Sure, except it's quite narrow because you're thinking cornhole. Well, it's 20 by 40. 20 by 40, 800 square feet. Okay. But you have spent 50,000 hours on this home addition, of which will not equate for 50,000 hours more in the market, to be clear. And it's over cornhole. But it's up to code. Everything's up to code. We're single in our 60s building cornhole domes. I'm not in my 60s. I'm in my 30s. Allegedly. Allegedly. And you have to lay down floor. Flooring's going to be, if you even do cheap. No, it's. I was going to do the flake flooring. Huh? The flake flooring. What? I think that's what it's called. Epoxy? Yeah. They do the flake. So this is going to be a full-on garage. You're not even making this a cool little place. You're spending this much money on it. No, no, no. You're going to lay down vinyl. Vinyl's not even that great. Well, no, because, again, preserving resale value. Having the roll-up door is good. If somebody wanted to buy the house and have a garage. Yeah, but vinyl is why I would save vinyl is so you can enjoy it. It's relatively cheap to put down, a couple thousand bucks probably for this space. And you can easily rip up vinyl and then epoxy. Well, yeah, but the epoxy is only, I think I got several quotes. It is, but you're shitifying this area. Now, if it was strictly. That's good for garage flooring, though. Yes, if you were using it as a garage. Listen, but you're planning on staying here for a bit. But for, right. No, no, no. Listen, I can't believe I am on the other side of this argument because I'm actually advocating for you to spend more money and it's stupid. I need to slap myself. But the thing is, you are building this to be a cool woman cave for a cornhole. You can epoxy when reselling. You're not using this as a garage. Make it the nice woman cave. For now, and just put in some... Listen, because vinyl is still the cheap option. It's going to be a couple thousand bucks for this, probably, this room. For the vinyl? Then why wouldn't I just do the flooring that I want to do? What do you want to do? The flake flooring. No, because I'm trying to make this area cool. It's not a garage. You can pick your colors and stuff. This is not a garage. But I'm going to decorate it. So I have a board. How much more are you spending on this? reasonably double. No, it won't. No, double what you're going to say. Okay. 5,000. Okay. So 10, maybe. Oh no. I was including the doubling. So 55,000 total on this is insane. That's insane. But it's going to look super cool. You could have done so many things. I paused on decorating and doing the floor because I didn't have to finish those things. The other things I had to finish for this entire experiment. Okay. But I didn't. So here we are. I didn't pause because I had the, Oh, you're getting custom cornhole boards that are $75 each, and you need at least $20. The tops. So I have a board sponsor who's local to me, and he does all the boards. He makes all the boards. Maybe you should have picked up heroin. It's a cheaper hobby. I was going to bring you guys your own with your logo, but I thought I'd get yelled at. But then you didn't, so fuck you. Well, I didn't because I thought you'd yell at me for giving you. Well, believe it or not, on the show, I yell at you regardless. That's fair. Maybe I should have. Maybe it would have softened his whatever this is. the sass maybe but no I want to have different people friends other people who play or sponsors you are in your 90s you're spending $55,000 but I'm going to get the board tops designed by different people get them printed and then that's going to be the decorations for the building worst spending I've ever seen on this show dumbest thing I've ever seen there's no way why? $55,000 on something that is not providing that equity position That's just not the word invest. But think about people who own horses because they love horses. It's very expensive. Horses can actually have a better return on investment because if they're good, then they have good nut. They have good breeding. Exactly. But people who use them just for their own enjoyment and entertainment. Then it's not investing. You're not getting an expected return on investment. Well, right. I guess. It's fun. It's passion. But you just blew $55,000 plus all the traveling you've done. You've likely spent over $100,000 on cornhole. Yes. in the past decade, $100,000. And now you have nothing to show for it. You have a room that probably adds an extra 10,000 hours in equity if you're lucky. It's just going to be a garage at the end of the day for anyone else. They don't care about all the extra shit you're putting into it. And... I don't know. I don't know. Colton's telling me it almost ruined your career. Well, in the post-show, if Mark brings the board. I'm being told this almost ruined your career at one point. ruined my career oh oh yeah have you ever heard of the yips like in sports never the most well known as like baseball players like they're in the major leagues whatever and all of a sudden now they're throwing the ball straight into the ground you've probably heard of it before I can't think of the person's name but it's like this well I wish it happened so you didn't spend all your money on this well I mean it did that's why I'm not playing as much right now I got the yips last season And it sucked. And so, like, my body, something I've done a million times, the mechanics, like, you've done the same thing a million times, you know how to do it, muscle memory. All of a sudden, like, there's, like, a disconnect between your brain and your body. And I wouldn't let go, and it would, like, go straight up in the air. So what are you doing now? Well, you're going to hate this. I got a mental performance coach last year, but he was a sponsor. Everyone's a sponsor. Well. I think you need an actual sponsor. No. No. no I rarely even drink I only drink when I play cornhole at big events and that's just because I have anxiety on this fucking house that you spend a shit ton of money on this extra bonus house you literally have a $13,319.91 personal loan on it with SoFi at a 15% interest rate with a disgusting minimum monthly payment of $385.64 it's one thing It is one thing to spend $55,000 on this. It is a completely other thing to have over $10,000 in horrendous, personal, high-interest loan debt for it. What's considered high interest? Just for my own understanding. What's considered high interest? Anything over $4,000 is not great except for potential mortgage. Anything over $8,000 is certainly getting high. And you're at $15,000 and that's high. Yeah. For something that is ridiculous. Ridiculous. this is the dumbest thing I've ever seen a 15% loan for a cornhole house fuck you what is this it's a good time what it's a good time I'm not saying it's not I never argued that I don't understand that argument I've never suggested otherwise okay um oh this is a hundred bucks but it looks like you pay this off every month so i'm not writing this down sunlight financial so that one's on 11 99 i think that was for so that was an additional cost i didn't know what's the balance oh this is no this is your amount dude what's the actual balance oh so this actually is something what is this it was for my h i live in an hoa i know what and they said i had to have the barn look exactly like the house oh now we have a vinyl fighting extra vinyl for our cornhole you have a second one on your cornhole hut your cornhole hut barn did he you in the hut no so it's not even worth it it's not even worth it it's not even worth it It's not even worth it, you moron. You idiot. It was an unforeseen cost, additional cost. Of how much? $6,000 in the train. Yeah. There was the gutters and the vinyl siding. Shut the f*** up. You, listen, I don't even care. Again, do whatever you want as a single person, but you would have been better off marrying with kids. This is insane. I disagree. I'm too selfish for that. No, no, no, no, no, no. This is insane. This is insane. what you have dedicated your life to and the amount of resources you have put behind it is beyond insane and now you're getting the yips so you can't even do it building a 50,000 you spent like 150,000 it's getting better the yips is getting better well that's a shame I went to my first event in Myrtle Beach over New Year's Eve weekend and it was fun I told you that A 15% one and then a 12% one? Your life is broken. You are a broken individual. $6,157.64. What is wrong with you? At a 12% interest rate with a minimum monthly payment of $104. Currently on this house alone, you owe $20,000 for the shed. This shed where we need to lock you up and never let you go outside again because you'll make a mistake and build a second one. Your fucking cornhole palace. Barn. Golf palace. Well, OK, so here's my thought, though. Quiet now. Well, hold on. Do I even want to hear your thought? Your thought has led to spending probably one hundred fifty thousand dollars on cornhole in the last decade. Shut the fuck up. The 401k, though, is is meaty. I could take that out some of it out at least so this is where the single woman's brain lands once they're in their hundreds once they're in their hundreds they throw away everything they have saved and invested for their future that no longer matters because they have nothing to add to society anymore so they just this sounds very red pilled right now I'm mostly exaggerating for you to feel shame because you deserve it because the Cornhole Palace is insane but either way is this like okay okay okay okay let's take away let's take away the stupid and for shame sake okay you actually saved up for a future but you actually don't have like what what is your future what do you have is that because you're single well no no single part is that because of kids or anything i don't really give a shit about that but yeah if you're not gonna be like what what do you have to look forward to so now you're like let's build cornhole palace for $50,000, $55,000 at 1,000% interest and let's wipe away all our investments towards it because we actually have nothing to live for, right? I mean, is there not logic there for that? Well, I mean, if that's the case and I have nothing to live for, why not just cash out the whole 401k? Well, exactly. That's what I'm saying. Yeah. Pay off all the debt. Which sucks. Then I can supplement all my travel. Why not have something to live for so you can at least manage you keeping your investments and whatnot? Well, I'm trying to. But you're right. There is like no point. There is a point. I need you to be able to survive in your retirement, but it's like I understand why you have a dark cloud of gloom. Who cares about the retirement at this point, right? Well, I mean, it's pretty meaty. There's a lot in there. No, for your income and age, you're behind schedule. What should I have? You should have – well, you're 40. I'm not 40. I'm 38. In two years, you should have about probably $230,000. Okay. At 160. Five. Six. 165. I think it's 173 now. Okay, the market did some moves. Still behind. And maybe you'll get, if the market does really well these next two years, maybe you'll do it. But if it corrects, you'll be. So we are behind. But the fact is, like, this is actually a really good start. You can still be like an eight out of 10 score on the retirement. But the thing is, you're willing to throw it all away? I mean, maybe it kind of makes sense. I mean, you've been. But it's for the palace. It's for the palace of cornhole. Exploring options. I know that there are 401k loans. It's your money. You make money. Stop being a r***** and throw it towards the debt. I don't know enough about 401k loans to know if that's a good idea or not. Okay, well, your money wouldn't be growing in the market that you used to borrow. All the money you'd get is paying back to yourself. Not very good. And if you lose your job or quit your job, become disabled and lose your job for whatever reason, could be a million reasons to lose a job, it is due like in 30 to 60 days. If you lose your job, whatever you take out. Yes. See that? I didn't know. Okay. I thought something like that was the case. Well, I thought you were just going to pull it, not even take a loan. I thought you were going to pull it. You were going to take out. What's the difference between the two? Well, a loan is a loan. Right. But you pay yourself back, right? Yeah. And then you take it. If you cash it out, that's different. You have to pay early redistribution penalties. For a certain age. That's 10%. But apparently I'm 90, so that's okay, right? So it's okay for you. plus whatever your income rate is, which is a juicy income rate, you have to pay that percentage tax on the gains. Okay. So you're f***ing... Dude, you make money. Pay off your f***ing palace. You're stupid. You're dumbass cornhole palace. Barn. Barn. It is not a barn. I saw that it's not a barn. You don't know what things are. It's not a barn. Everyone knows what a barn is. That's not a barn. You don't know what a barn is. You've never seen a barn in your life. F*** you, barn. You call it a palace? Is that what you call it? That's what Colton calls it, and I agree. Cornhole Palace? Okay. This is a new balance total. What are we looking at? You say you pay off your cards every month. No, you don't. This has $12,250. Bank of America. That's the direct deposit advance. Wait, what? So that card was my travel card, and that $12,000, I think it was like $13,000. I forgot what it was. It was a direct deposit advance. You lose a job and just forget your old 401k like it's a gym membership that you never use. It turns out 25% of 401ks are lost or forgotten, and that is not pocket change. It is your retirement ghosting you. Enrolling over a 401k? Good luck. You're calling old employers, hunting paperwork, maybe even faxing things like it's 1998. That is why today's sponsor, Capitalize Exists. 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You advanced your own direct deposits on a credit card, you cash advanced. In the end, you cash advanced. I guess that's what it is. And you face the $520 fee for it, by the way, cash advance. That's a disgusting amount of money. Hey, you know this takes about 30 years to pay off minimum payment only, and that's basically what you put towards it. It's a few bucks more, not much more. The reason why, and maybe it wasn't the best reason. It's not. I guarantee it. There was fraud on my checking account, and it took it under the balance. Yeah, but you don't have to take out $13,000. I know. That's the problem part. So when I was on the phone with Bank of America, they were opening a new checking account for me, obviously, closing the other one. And then they're like, oh, yeah, here, you've been with us for 20-something years. You've got this great offer. This could, I know. Well, you just made them an instant $550 plus whatever interest once this interest-free period ends. I paid off my balance transfer. Girl, this ends in seven months. Seven months? Yeah. This is going to be accruing at like 30%. I paid off a balance transfer with Discover. What are we doing? You just push, push, push. You don't make any progress. Okay, so the reason why I took out – I remember now the reason why I took out more than what I needed just to like float me until I got my refund back on the fraud was I had a – I was going to pay down the balances on the other – one of the other Bank of America cards. Okay, which is also moronic. Right. Just show me how moronic it would be to pull off from your 401k now because you don't change behavior, but go on. But I realized that you can't pay Bank of America with Bank of America funds, so I couldn't do that. So where did the money go then? Because the money is gone. You didn't put it towards it. I paid off a balance transfer I had with Discover. And then I actually, they said that. So they said that you can't pay Bank of America with Bank of America funds. I know, but so I used to pay like three or four thousand dollars a month on my card. The other card that I do pay my bills on. So I would pay it down like I pay off the statement every month when I was in a better financial position. Why would you not be? You're making great income and it's only going up. It's the barn. I'm telling you. I did not budget appropriately for this barn I didn't know it was going to be as expensive It's impossible, that's not a thing worth budgeting for It was a costly lesson that I learned when it comes to construction I know that That's crazy I modeled the budget for the building off of another person who lives a little bit away from me who helped me build some of it They paid $20,000 for the building It's basically an exact replica except for the fact that I had to carve down the dirt. Well, that's huge. Moving Earth is huge. Well, right, exactly. So I didn't account for how much of a difference that would cost. The different things I had to do, like the vinyl siding for my HOA. He doesn't live in an HOA. Why? I just, it was not great. Why? If you have an HOA, why didn't you run the plans past him before breaking ground? Well, I got approval to build the building. I did get approval, but they didn't ask me for plans. So you only used this to pay off your card? I used that to pay off a balance transfer? here? Okay. Is that all where it went? It didn't go to any bullshit like going to Canada and the Netherlands. That was before. That happened. That was a while back. Well, two seasons ago, we know you spent $16,000 on travel alone. Well, the tournament, Cornhole in general, yeah, the opens and stuff like that. That was like tournament cost, travel. I invoiced the... Why do you keep saying invoice? Who are you invoicing? What are you invoicing I was making a point to Making a point Yes the head of the league that I play in they had guidelines for the season and said okay meet these guidelines This is what you need to be, to make pro for the next season at world championships. They move the goalpost, which is kind of shitty because we've all been operating under these guidelines. Like if we do X, Y, Z. Oh shit. So I just actually realized something. What? I don't give a shit about that topic. Well, that's good. Who cares? You told me to explain. Who cares? No. But that's why I said invoice, because I said this is, you know. Okay. PayPal credit. What are you doing? Not paying off. Like you said, I pay off all my cards. The PayPal one, I pay off the amount to avoid standard and deferred interest, which I think it's like $2,500. that's dude buying. I know. Dragon bags. That's $159. eBay, Disney Plus, Woof's store, Woof's. In Lore Real USA. I could tell from Woof, you dumbass. I didn't know if you knew what it was. From Woof's? I think when people say Woof's, they know it's a dog. I doubt it. What? People actually have thinking capacity, by the way. Believe it or not. Despite what you have experienced in your own secluded life, in your shed of dumbass, 18 years to pay this off. 18 years. Pull up your TikTok shop right now. Right now, 30% interest rate, which starts probably very soon. Oh, shit. Oh, most of them are expiring in a month. Two of them are. I was trying to say $2,500 is due March 9th. Go on. Let's see. My orders. The vibration plate from TikTok shop. Oh, yeah. What the fuck? That sat next to me. So that's how you get off when you don't travel to these events. No, I actually bought that like over a year ago and just never opened it. I forgot what was in the box until recently. Okay, you got loaded tea, endless amount of markers to draw on. I have like a big glass calendar. You'll have a phone and a computer. I know. $43 unfoldable bedding container for bed. A lot of it's house stuff. two-piece dryer vent okay that one's actually fine you didn't have a mop doggy bed that's potentially okay depending on what you already had uh disposal cleaner that's chill doggy brush also depending on what you had pet food mask pet pad peel mask pet peel mask food peel mask food peel mask you got peel masks is it foot it keeps your feet soft oh what do you mean see yeah remon sampler pack for fat and weird cookie company oh everything you know more that was a while ago stickers for the back of your not that long ago stickers for the back of your car that's necessary to survive there's lots of shirts lots of hangers lots of tea you You get tea every second of your f***ing life. No, I just order it in bulk so I don't have to pay for shipping. Chair? It's an expensive little chair. What chair? Oh, and a desk. A chair. A desk chair, you little chair desk. That's part of the $2,500. That's the street in the court. Sorry, chat. Part of the $2,500 that's coming up on that card. This is insane. You have thousands of dollars on here, and the payments are all coming up soon, and you are f***ing. Just, just, yeah, good luck. Good luck. At least it's not deferred interest from what I can tell. But, no, it is! But I don't. No, most of them are! good luck $2,500 is due by March 9th yeah that's coming very soon and you don't put that much I pay off the amount you know how I would trust if you do if you had any semblance of that kind of behavior and discipline in these statements they're not so I don't believe you that is an invalid thing you just said you don't believe me it's not invalid it's accurate okay if it was accurate it would be shown somewhere in these statements Bank of America is this your pay bill card what's the balance on it? $3,784. That is the one that I pay my bills on. Right, you don't pay it all off every single month like you said you do. Right, that's the one of the Bank of America ones. $3,784.98. Minimum monthly payment, $118. I hope you paid off. I really do. Listen, I just have to go off of what I see in here. I know. And what I see in here is you will not pay it off. Okay. There's 17 years to pay this off, and this is. It is Experian Credit Report. I don't know why you're paying. Same amount of money could go towards dollar wise and improve your life substantially more. You get it for free, of course. But Tovala. Tovala? Yeah. $169 for Tovala. What's a Tovala? It's the, it's like, not like a meal kit, but like they send you the pre-portioned meals and they have like a little oven and you scan it and it cooks it for you. You've seen the commercials for it. They're all over TV. I have not. And all over TV. Do you want to see that? Hey, I'm not a boomer. I'm not just sitting down watching TV. Boomer. What's that on commercials and stuff? I don't watch commercials, Boomer. Okay. You guys watch commercials? Where do you see Boomer? You guys have a Super Bowl or a college football game. Really? Girl, we don't watch commercials because we pay for YouTube Premium, and YouTube is the best platform on the entire internet by far. But if I paid for YouTube Premium, you'd be yelling at me for paying for stuff while I'm in debt. I should put a subscription fund in everyone's budget. Where you choose to put 40 bucks is where you choose to put 40 bucks. But no, I don't watch a flop bullshit on TV. that just shoves ad down. I don't know how people make it through that. I really don't. Holiday Inn. I love some Slop TV. Give me some 90 Day Fiance, but I watch it ad-free after the episode is done. Yeah, but after the episode is done, I watch it ad-free on Hulu or something. Holiday Inn. Great traveling to get some dick. Holiday Inn. Great traveling to get some dick. That was reimbursed for work. Walgreens getting our morning after pill for $45.43. Makes sense. I got reimbursed for that Holiday Inn in Nashville. Did you get reimbursed for the morning after pill? I didn't take a morning after pill. Oh, hoping it leads to something. I take birth control. You still need to? Yes. I'm not 50. Okay, Chewy, I understand that. Well, I get in trouble if I throw this at him. Yes. Because it's weekly. Because I'll throw it back, and that's when I get in trouble. It's weekly. Tovala is weekly. They send you. Okay. Nest. Yep, Tovala. You're spending a lot on that. Tovala, Netflix. It's lower now. It's like 120. My choices supply. What choices are you making for $431? so i i vape and instead of paying 25 at the gas station i buy in bulk you bulk vape about half you are a broken individual it's like you are a disgusting broken individual hey i pay my bills every single month you've had a late fee this year that that was because of fraud i paid the day after it was due i looked if it was fraud they would reverse it though if it was because i could easily call them i at this point i don't know i could it was at this point yes i had fraud Then do it. I can. Why is it on this show, I can do that, and then they just never do? Exactly! Then why haven't you? That is every single guest on this show. Because I consider that my punishment for paying it a day late. Punishment? You had fraud. Punishment? What is wrong with you? Because I should have gone. You fucking weirdo. What, do you need to be fucking kinked and frauded? No. What are you doing? I should have. Oh, $27. I deserve that. Oh. I didn't deserve it, so I left it on there. I could call them and remove it. I just didn't. You're going to be a fee again, daddy. What the fuck? No, it was fraud. You went to fraud. Call it. Why is it always, I can, I will, it will happen, it's going to happen, but never I did. Okay. I will call that. Lovely how that always happens on the show history. The car that I put my bills on that I pay off every single month, I accrued $1,063 in interest. Fuck off. So that is why I don't believe you will pay those off. Okay. Because you don't, dude. You don't. everything about you is i will or it's gonna happen but it never does never has city 462 dollars what is this that was for this trip okay well you know that'll get remorse so it better go right towards it so i'll cost that off for now okay it will and he's not here is he i feel bad for all of you for later then because i know usually once you get to a hotel it probably starts like pulsing ready. Expectation. Smell that holiday in lobby. You start getting... Our next trip is next weekend. To Memphis. Buddy, what are you doing with your life? Let me just talk to you for a second. I've seen you. I know what you look like. And I know the age you're doing. He coaches college soccer. He coaches D5 soccer. I think it's D3. I think. So he's a volunteer. Is he sticking in anything else? As far as I know, he's not. You can ask him. I can ask him. We're calling him in the post show. That's fine. Ladies and gentlemen, it's official. We are calling this weird 30-year-old YMCA coach in the post show. You'll like him, actually. I think you guys will get along. Okay. He loves fake tits like Brandon does. So why would I get along with him? He gets along with everybody. Does that mean you have fake tits? I do. I paid for them in cash. Don't worry. That's not what I'm worried about. What the fuck are you doing with your life? $25 minimum payment on this Apple card. $227. owed. Give me your phone. It's all Apple bills. Listen, I'll give you a course career certification on how to not be... Actually, that doesn't exist, but course careers, please make it. Listen, I don't know. I'll gift it to someone you need, because you actually have a good career. And you've got to use the FizzCard, a debit card that builds credit. Use the Allowize Budgeting app and go through the Master Your Money program. You get it all for free, so you get all the classes in the community, okay? Take it all. Take all the resources. I will. Stop being a moron. Stop being a moron, moron. wow your profile picture is facetuned it's what facetuned what's facetuned is that like edited or extremely old right no right it's not that old so facetuned I don't know what facetuned is I mean I didn't edit them who did nobody you must be doing apple pay you must be purchasing $54 $48 $28 $90 I think one of them is a subscription this card is paid off every single month so I'm not putting this one but Bank of America you did some purchase it was 175 it's still all bullshit shut the f*** up this is money that could go towards PayPal before it starts accruing before the deferred interest hits it could go towards the 15% SoFi loans so it's still bullshit even if it's paid off every month it's still bullshit because it's Burger King Jack in the Box which by the way if you're doing this meal prepping bullshit service that everyone sees on TV no one watches TV That was when we were in Myrtle Beach. You pack a sandwich. It was four days. I love this. We go on vacation somewhere. Where do we go? Trying the local cuisine. I'll tell you. Burger King, Jack in the Box, Chick-fil-A, Chick-fil-A and Dunkin'. That's my favorite local coffee shop. Dunkin' is my pre-tournament spot. You can't afford these tournaments. Let's just be real. Drop the goon for a second. You just can't afford these. The Chick-fil-A stuff, that was at the venue. That was at the venue. And then Carolina Ale House. At least you've got something unique for $94. And he paid for the other half of like. You can't afford this shit. This is money that could be going towards your 15% so far dumbass debt. Or the even better PayPal credit before that deferred interest hits. Okay, this one also gets paid off. So I'm not writing it down. But Capital One Venture, it's still money that could be going to places. That's where pet insurance is. That price makes sense for three dogs, you said? Yeah, that makes sense. About $150. And I just, I put it on that card just so it's being used. Bank of America. Not worrying about that. Looks like gas. That's all gas. That's okay. That's fine. See, when you say to me, I'm paying off all my cards. It's like, fucking fuck you. You pay off these couple cards that you put like 20 bucks on. Like, fuck you. You have these thousands of dollars of cards that are including thousands of interest, including deferred interest that you are not paying off. When you set up this conversation about cards, I'm paying off my cards. No, you don't. You liar. You coping, coping mother. I don't want to hear it. See? And here's an example. I'll tell you what you didn't pay off. Wells Fargo Outdoor Solutions. Let me guess. For our hut. Our little corn hut. Nope. For what then? For a hot tub. Before the building. So your fake kids been built? It's almost paid off. 4,000 is almost paid off because it started at 16? Yeah. Like, fuck you. It's still 4,000 hours. Moron. Well, yeah. Like, shut up. It's a nice hot tub, though. Great. you don't want a hot tub no we're relaxing bro it's 100 degrees every day here no thank you $4,005.47 hot tub is just stepping outside $268.01 a month 16 more months to pay this off minimum payment only but interest is already accruing it's already accruing so it's not like you're making progress shut the f*** up you could be putting all your Burger King jack-in-the-box dug-in cornhole bullshit stupid ass towards this interest accruing card instead of your life. This makes no sense. You're being a silly goose and I don't like it. And the low interest rate is 4%. Okay. Is this a car? Is it $6,000? $7,000? That's the car. $364.61. What is the car? It's a 2020 Jeep Grand Cherokee. Okay, not great. I had a 19 Jeep Cherokee, not Grand Cherokee, but listen, still not great. It's basically, I mean, it's like the same shit. So you have an equity position, surprisingly. It's worth about double, about $16,000. Yeah. But the problem is in Tennessee, it's not 4x4. 2019. Tennessee, it's not 4x4. Why does that matter in Tennessee? Because, like, the ice, snow, when we get snow, it's... Yeah, but that's rare. I mean, it happens, though. And, again, I travel. So, I know you don't want me to travel, but when I travel... You travel for fun, not for necessity. So, you don't need to travel when you're snowed in. I have almost slid off the road. Shut the f*** up. It makes me nervous not having a 4x4. Get the cornhole, though. No, that wasn't. That was going to someone's house. Don't go to someone's house when you're snowed in. Get snow tires. I do need to replace the tires. I had front-wheel drive in West Michigan, which is a trillion times snowier. I feel like that's dangerous, though. Yeah, but I did it, and I never crashed. My entire family has done that. Well, I haven't crashed either. You almost went up the road, and I'm afraid. It just makes me nervous, so I feel like I need a 4x4. Okay, well. That's because you're a pussy. Listen, fucking sedans, everything. I was front-wheel driving, and it was stupid. It was stupid, or real, I don't know, but just, you know, whatever. The witness is one. It's just like it's fine. You know, I went to Western Michigan University. It's like the eighth snowiest college in the U.S. or something like that. At least when I went there, that was the statistic. Who knows what it is today? I'm sure that shit always changes. But, like, shut the f*** up. And my job was delivering driving Jimmy John's. Shut the f*** up. You're fine. So don't get a new car. Southerners are pussies. You grew up in California, so you're an extra pussy. No, don't get a new car, moron. You have double equity position. Listen, 6.29% interest rate. It's not thrilling. But, I mean, okay, you have an equity position. I mean, if you wanted to sell it and take out a loan to get a 10,000-hour car, so you'd be bringing in an extra 2,000 to 3,000-hour loan, you could do that, but it's not the biggest thing. Okay, mortgage. Good. Love this monthly payment, $1,132.81. That is that where no one wants to live, balance, let me tell you. It makes sense. $173,401. Yeah. I mean, 3% interest rate. I love it. It was during COVID. I love it. Yeah. No. It's great. No one wants to live there, so it's perfect. I love it there. Uh-huh. They do. Uh-huh. It's better than California. Uh-huh. Heavy near address. $2,900 checking account, but it is down from $3,200. And it's all pay advance, pay advance, pay advance. PayPal going out. Okay, that wasn't crazy. And you have $20,000 in savings. That actually is quite good. and 535 in that one. So, okay. That's good. It is this one right here. Yeah, just click on it. Don't say it. I don't want you to dox yourself. Not that we wouldn't believe it, but either way. It's showing. That's not the picture that normally. Oh, it's Zillow, though. I usually look at it like that. It doesn't matter. Okay. So just a cul-de-sac house. Oh, okay. Well, great equity position. We love it. It's worth about 318. You owe 173. Good. Nothing to complain about there. Let's see if we can just budget your life and see what you're willing to sacrifice because that's the big conversation here. Let me get your minimum monthly debt payments not including your mortgage. Okay. Your debt minimum monthly payments not including your mortgage, $1,565.46. I'd be off a couple dollars because I can't read one of my numbers, but it'll be very close. Mortgage, and we love this one, has less than your literal minimum monthly debts, which is moronic. I should say something. $1,132.81. That might go down a little bit. Okay, well, when it does, put it in your budget. What is your utilities, internet, gas, electric, all that good stuff combined? Utilities. I wrote down $515. Cool. How much for gas from Drive Drive? Less than $100. We'll say $100. Okay, car insurance? I pay it every six months. How much every six months? $5.97 every six months. Okay, so we'll say $100. Phone bill? $110. $300 for food. You're meal prepping. You're not using the stupid-ass services. Go to the grocery store. Okay. What the fuck are you doing? Cook a few times a week. Warm that shit up. TP, phone, $100. Anything else you need to survive? All that good stuff. Medical, health care, co-pays and whatnot. How much? For medical, like $70. Cool. Is there a gym? No, I have gym stuff at home. Pet insurance, I'm going to say $150, just rounding. Subscriptions, let me put in $50. Okay. Anything else that needs to be in there that I have not put in? That looks, pets, like pet food. Yeah, pet food, how much? So I wrote down $550. Just how much? Just how much? $550. Okay. Diet food, I assume, or like weird medical allergies or something for them? um that's including their like the wuffs and like their supplements and stuff like that do they need that well the the boy he's the one who takes it he's 16 so oh good for him what kind of dog he's a border collie german shepherd mix good for him i love that he's had double acl surgery in the last like two years so okay well listen you got it basically i'm gonna round for the sake of it of just safety about a thousand bucks a month left over okay And yes, you need to pay some of these quicker, like the PayPal credit, but you just prioritize the order. I would prioritize that, and then I would just do smallest, biggest. And you might do that car trading and then bring that $7,000 loan down to a $2,000 one. Are you saying smallest balance or smallest interest rate? Balance. Okay. You actually have to change your behavior. Do not take shortcuts this time. You have not learned it. No 401k takeout. Okay. We're not doing that. No consolidation. No transfers. $225,000. and $12.04 minus your mortgage of $173.41.19. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Okay. You got bad debt, $51,610. So, obviously, that is 51 months, which is chunky. That's four years. That's not that bad. You got nothing else going on in your life. So listen, if you go out, work extra jobs, you use that money to pay for your cornhole. Cornhole does not fit in this budget. If you actually care about getting out of debt, if you don't actually give a shit, then I don't give a shit. And it sounded like you really didn't when it came to prioritizing cornhole. So we'll see. But that's what I would do. It's four years. Your emergency fund is great. In fact, actually, since you have high interest accruing debt right now, takes you $5,000 to five on a monthly basis. What I would do is take $15,000 of it and throw it towards PayPal and SoFi. That's what I was going to ask. Yes, I would do that. And that helps. And then you just have to recoup the emergency fund, which for you, once the debts are paid off, would be about $21,000. So yeah, replenishing that, it'll still maybe like three and a half years then total. And then you're done. But take that out immediately and pay off stuff immediately. Yeah, stuff. Okay. Anything that you go spend on cornhole, you need to go make more money to pay for it though. Because it does not fit in this budget. So no cornhole fund? No. Go pick up a second job. Okay. Or work more, whatever you can do. That stuff pays for it. Anything else needs to go towards fixing this situation. Guys, I'm going to get the Amber Financial score. But during this for the post show, I'm going to call this penis man. And I am... Oh, my God. Oh, she stole her ex's car. Okay, we're going to talk about that. That's going to be crazy. And we'll see if we can play some cornhole as well. So make sure you join Hammerleaf, the number one and best membership on YouTube. Click that join button. Three premium shows posted every single day, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Let's get the same financial score. Spending a budget 0 out of 10 you ever spent. Collections, it's not the worst, but it is high and it's some stupid interest and it's some dumb debt. 2 out of 10. Emergency fund, well, okay, we did the debt score based on what that is, so we'll do the emergency fund based on what that is. Emergency fund wouldn't need to be high right now because you have high minimum monthly debt payments. Right now, it's actually about a 6 out of 10. Retirement, 8 out of 10. in real estate, yeah, pretty damn good. I'd say, I mean, there's a risk of a loan, but other than that, you're pretty damn great. Nine out of ten. Hammer financial score, right down the middle, five out of ten. Join us in the post show. See you there. Oh my god. Hello? What the f*** are you doing with your life? Oh, shit. Hammer Elite is the best YouTube membership on the platform, and I just upgraded it. New dedicated premium shows every single day, Monday through Friday. Join with the link in the pinned comment or description below. This is the best membership you'll ever join and that's a promise.