Pretty Little Episode #78

This is a Headgun Podcast. Handsome, childhood friends on the Handsome part. Chad and the friends on the Handsome part. Pretty little episode. Welcome to the pretty little episode. It's me, your friend Tignotaro sitting here with. May Martin. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. May. Tig. How is your driving obsession when do you leave for tour? Oh my God. Do you have any romantic updates? Just give me everything. Girl, I've been driving around the town. Today I went and drove. Taking up chicks. Taking up chicks everywhere. Yeah, I got a coffee today. I drove, drove parks there. I drove right up onto the curb. I was trying to park. Like full gg. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but that's going well. Did you yell, I'm new here. New here. Out of the window. No, I haven't, I haven't yelled anything out a window yet. This is new for me. Um, how about, well, I think I told you I used to do pranks where I would like pull up to cool hot spots for people who are eating outside. No. And I would have all my windows down and I would act like it, and I'd play a really cheesy song and I'd take like 10 million attempts at parallel parking with my windows down. Just to entertain yourself? Yeah, well, oftentimes I'd have a friend like hidden in the back seat. That's really low down. And then I would act like I can't get my car into the spot and then we just drive away. But like, you know that song all by myself? Yeah, yeah, that kind of thing. Oh, that's good. Yeah, just silly stuff. I wish more like big celebrities, pranks. Like that would be so funny if someone purposefully did something that would attract like people to film it in paparazzi and it was no. For you to say you wish more big celebrities that implies that you think I'm a big celebrity. You did this like before you were recognizable or recently? Yeah, yeah, it was before I was recognizable. Like I think you should do it now. I think you should pull up to somewhere you know there's going to be paparazzi and take 20 minutes to park while playing all by myself. But I guess I need you to yes or no. Do you think I'm a big celebrity? Huge. Huge. You look at that sarcastic. No, I think it's sure. I don't know a single person who doesn't know you. Actually, I take that back. Yeah, yeah. I think it would kind of be not, well maybe it would be fun if people recognize me. Because you'd be doing it on purpose. And I was doing it on purpose back in the day as well. But I just, yeah, that's that kind of stuff. I like to look like a fool. Yeah, I know it's the best. It really is so fun. I played a game that I think you might like yesterday. I'm so much. Yeah, I thought, take with love this. Hobbscotch. So I saw it on some Instagram thing and I got a group of people to do it. And before they came over, I said everyone bring an object from your house. And it could be mundane kind of funnier if it's like totally mundane. Sure. And then you stand in a circle and you all put a lot of water in your mouth. So you're like, like that. And then one by one, you just slowly without smiling or laughing, produce the objects that you've brought and put it in this middle. And the goal is not to laugh and let the water out. And it just gets funny. Like every object becomes hilarious too. Did you make this out? No, I saw it online somewhere and I wanted to try it. And it worked and it was like, yeah, I would enjoy that. You'd like it. And then the other version, what did people bring? They brought like, because you know, I'm not crazy about games. Yes. But then I can get on board with. Yes. I, you know, I used to do a podcast with somebody. Well, I don't do a podcast with anymore. And we used to stream episodes where we would like do shots and slap each other in the face and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Not very presidential. But anyway, what do we say? That's the best. Yeah. The second round we did was everybody wrote down a word, any word on a piece of paper and gave it to me. Then everyone puts water in their mouth and I just slowly read through the word. So I'd go, your first word is fart. Your first word, F-A-R-T fart. And then I would go through all the words that people gave me. Like, yeah, one was Winnettka. One was Humperding. Like, it was just, it was fun. I recommend it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It feels like not the name that your record label would be like, we got it. Yeah. It feels like it's a real bird, Humperding. I think Elton John's real name is something really, it's like, Reginald Dwight. Yeah. Yeah. Well, maybe we should do that next summer in the studio. We should do the water and no laughing game. Well, I thought you were going to say maybe we should come up with our stage names. Oh, what would yours be? Hmm. You know, what was that name? There was, there was, one time Stephanie, I asked Stephanie as I said, who is Stephanie? I said, who is the actress on that one show? Maybe I've said it on the show. But, um, and Stephanie was like, I don't know what you're talking about. And I said, you know the show, um, um, go ahead, do I get, are you forgetting the name or the, no, you're forgetting all of it right now. I'm forgetting all of it. Yeah. I was asking what the actress's name was in the show. And the show was, um, not what I said, but the crazy leap that I called the show, Stephanie guessed the actual show name. Uh, let me text her. Texture, texture. I have to, I have to know. It's, uh, it is the weirdest name. I was like, what the show, it's called, um, I have one other game to suggest. It's called the, uh, grape game. So I leave the room. I come back in and you have to guess if there's a grape in my mouth or in one of my hands. Oh, and did you see this online? Actually, we could play around now. Uh, what if I don't have a grape in my office? No, I'll do it. Oh, you have grapes? Yeah. I got them for the grape game. But right now, oh, you have to go to the kitchen. I'll go to the kitchen. I'll grab a grape. I'll come back in. It's either going to be in my mouth or in one of my hands and I'll show you both hands. Okay, I'll be right back. Okay, one more time. Okay, I'll be right back. Okay, one more time. Okay, one more time. Okay, one more time. Okay, one more time. Okay, one more time. Okay, one more time. Okay, one more time. Okay, one more time. Okay, one more time. Okay, one more time. Okay, one more time. Okay, one more time. Okay, one more time. Yeah, yeah. I'm pretty good at that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, they gave it away that I was just going, hmm. Well, I wondered if you were doing that to throw me off, but you didn't. I almost, I tried to double bluff you. Yeah. Yeah. Did Stephanie write back? No, but she's writing right now. Oh, I love that. Don't you? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no. Oh, she's writing. Oh, I thought you meant you could see that she was. Oh, but her dot, dot, dot, just appeared. It is. No. She wrote two and a half broke girls, which I did accidentally say. You said two and a half broke girls? Yeah. Let's go. Let's go. The other mishap. I'm sure she's like, yeah, which one? Should we get to a question? Sure. Yeah, I think we should. What if the question from the listener was like, what's the name of that show? God, I don't know. She's still writing. Okay, we should wipe this out. Oh. Oh, she wrote? Yeah, I think. I said, who is the actress from that show? And she said, what show? And I said, what is it? Becky Pilgrims or something? And then Stephanie was like, the unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. And I was like, yes. Becky Pilgrims. Becky Pilgrims. Becky Pilgrims. And she guessed the unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. She guessed that. And we choked to death laughing. Becky Pilgrims. Becky Pilgrims. That is what my brain crunched those numbers and spit that out. Can we, on the main episode, we got to tell Fortune that on the main episode. Becky Pilgrims is so good. Well, and when we write little love notes to each other, we oftentimes sign it. Becky Pilgrims. Yeah, it's a really great character name. Yeah. It's such a good name, Becky Pilgrims. Yeah. And then you just, you're tapped into the same way with like that she was able to deduce what you meant by that. Yes. And she's like, the unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Oh my God. Yes, it's not Becky Pilgrims at all. Anyway, yeah, should we get into our question? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Hi handsome. Hi, May, hi, Tig. Hi, Fortune. My name is Jacqueline. I'm from around outside the Boston area. So my question for you all is, it's about intimacy. And I am wondering, what is the silliest moment you've had during an intimate moment? Where to begin? I know. Infinite. The first one that came to mind was one that I've, I think, said on the podcast before where I was dating a very lovely man for about six months in England. And he said, the next time we have sex, I'm going to say, a word, really unexpected word during sex. And it's going to make you laugh. And I completely forgot about it. Days went by. And then the next time we were having sex, like at a really crucial moment where I was, it was like, I was in it. I was like, yeah, yeah. Completely serious, you know, or an ass. Yeah. And he goes, oh my God, tell me I'm bonkers. Tell me I'm bonkers. I cried laughing. I could not stop laughing. That is really, really funny. Yeah, he was British, too. Yeah. Tell me I'm bonkers. What else? I mean, do you, Stephanie, ever sort of, you're like semi joking, doing some characters or role play-ish? And it's like kind of horny, but also mainly funny. And then you, you know what I mean? I'm thinking about the pirate queen that part of you used to do. The pirate queen. Yeah, I was the cabin boy and she was the pirate queen. Oh, you shared this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes, yes. That was a lot of laughing. I would say I've done this a couple of times where I've been, this is way younger years. You know, I have germ issues would never do this again. I was making out, I think I've done it a couple of times with a girl in the bathroom, public bathroom. And that, yeah, real hot. In a stall. Yeah. And then look down and the toilet hadn't been flushed. And then I said, oh, you're in love, meaning you're in. That's pretty good. That's you're in love. Did she get it right away? Yeah, yeah. I will point. I go, oh, you're in love. That's good. I like that. That's silly. That's silly. Yeah. Should we hear Jacqueline's answer? Yeah, let's hear it. All right, so my answer is the other day I was flowing around with my partner and I know Jacqueline Marie. We were flowing around and I was inspired by TIG, actually. My partner caressed my breasts and as he squeezed it, I said, I said, I knew that was a lot of things. I have never laughed so hard during intimacy before. That is really funny. It's so really great. That's really great. That's what hurts. Yeah, that's great. Let that be one of your legacies for sure that women across the world are going, whenever everyone touches their. Thank you Jacqueline and keep up the good work. Yeah. Should we have another question? Hello, Handsome. I'm Katie and I'm calling for some advice today from any or all of you. I'm in a local production of the musical Fun Home and for the role I'm in, I've cut my hair very, very short into a pixie cut and this is the shortest. Yeah, this is the shortest my hair has been in like 41 years of life. So I, well, I guess except since I was born, but that doesn't count. I would love any of your tips, tricks or favorite styling products or ways to style short hair. Yeah, thanks so much. I got the answer for you, kid. Leave it dirty. Katie. But you have a germ thing. How does that? I rinse it. I rinse it. Just a water. Yeah. But if I fly on a plane or I'm like, you know, if my hair touches something, my germ issues remind me all the time. Like you got to get home and wash your hair tonight. Right. Okay. When I travel on a plane, I don't just come home again and bed and snuggle in after my head has been against the back of that seat. No, you got to be scrubbed. Yes. Yes. If I'm just tigging it up and living my life and just shuffling around my neighborhood and my house, you know, or I go out to dinner, let anything like that, I'm totally fine. Yeah. And again, it's hard to make any sense of like what's gross and what's not to a germapha. Right. Right. But yeah, like washing your hair once a week is really the way to go. And you can put a little bit of product, like some sort of wax or something in there. But that I feel like can last you the whole week. If it's really short. Yeah, I've wanted to try this. I just, I shower so much. I'm like, well, twice a day. But really? Twice a day and I'm washing my hair. Twice a day you wash it? Yeah. Yeah. And my skin's very dry now. And I'm better than I used to be like, I mean, I probably had a touch of the old germaphober something when I was, I used to wash my face like sometimes 14 times a day. Like it was a little... Never 15. Never cross over it. Because that would be weird. Yeah, that's too much. Yeah, but I've gotten a lot better and I don't wash my face between showers now. But yeah, like two showers a day and I'm washing my hair every time. So I want to get to a place where I try that no washing for a week. Because I know it's healthier. Like that the natural oils, everyone tells me about the natural oils. Well, and less product in your hair is better for eliminating some toxins. Yeah. Because so much is absorbed through your head. Really? Yeah. Yeah. And your brain's right there. Yeah, your old brain. I use Kevin Murphy, Knight Rider. That's the product I use. But also it's funny to me, whenever, usually if I meet straight people of a certain age, they'll go, I love your pixie cut. And I'm like, when does it become a pixie? Like, it is so not a pixie cut to me. It's just short hair, but it's funny. Yeah. Like, would you say me a pixie cuts? I think some people in their 60s and 70s and over think we have pixie cuts. Right. Katie, I guess maybe is used to a more femme presentation. So she's like, this is a pixie cut. Who knows what the pixie cut? You know what I mean, me? You never know with Katie. You never know. Yeah. You never know. It always is strange to me when I'm out and about and someone is usually sizing me up, like trying to figure me out or I'm in the bathroom or something. They go, I like your hair or something. And then you're like, okay, yeah, and I always go, yeah, like yours too. But it's like them saying that is them saying what is going on here? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like your pixie cut. Like your pixie cut. Yeah. Well, thank you, Katie and Jacqueline. And please keep on sending in those questions. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. We love hearing from you. I really like that. I can't do it. You really can't. Yeah. That was really bad. I wish I had a. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. I submit your questions, your advice request to speakpipe.com slash handsome pod and come see me on tour. Maymartin.net has all those deeds. There's still tickets available for my first three shows in Oklahoma and then two shows in Texas. I really want to fill them up because it's the beginning of the tour. It'd be such a bummer if I. Now it'll be great. Yeah. It's going to be awesome. They're going to be there. Build it and they will come. Yeah. How about you? Well, you know, Tignotaro.com. We got Santa Fe. We got Monterey, Charleston, West Virginia. Actually, never mind that Charleston. We're rescheduling some dates here, but also being Los Angeles, Largo. It just goes on and on. Go check out all the show and tour information at Tignotaro.com and watch. Come see me in the good light if you haven't yet. Very funny, touching, life affirming documentary on Apple that I produced. And until next time, keep it. Keep it. Pretty handsome. Handsome is hosted by me, Fortune Feamster Tignotaro and Maymartin. The show is produced, recorded and edited by Thomas Woolett. Email us at HandsomePod at gmail.com and follow us on social media at HandsomePod. What a podcast! What a podcast! That was a hate bomb podcast.