‘Ace Ventura: Pet Detective’ With Bill Simmons, Zach Lowe, and Craig Horlbeck

the rewatchable is brought to you by the ringer podcast network where you can find the ringer fantasy football show with craig rollback you're also at the end of the town with matt belony and you're on this podcast as well you produce it every once in a while we bring you in as a host it's a big day it's zach low's first rewatchables ever what's happening zach low you can find on the zach low show we call the zach low show yeah now you're calling the z low show it's just short for gotta save my characters on social media you know yeah which is also by the way on netflix it is um and you're you do mets corners that people know you for basketball and mets corner they don't know you for the movies it's a lot of pressure for you it's gonna start now i've got a lot of takes on pop culture that i've been waiting to unleash on various ringer shows Zach Lowe sends me a list of the movies he want to do Some of them were not surprising And then second at the top Ace Ventura And I was like wow I'm going to file that one away Ace Ventura is next Ace Ventura Why? uh formative i mean i was i think 16 when it came out maybe 15 formative to my comedic sensibilities has some extremely problematic elements that 16 year old me was not prepared to grapple with at the time but uh just i became a jim carrey super fan i was already a jim carrey super fan from in living color but this it's just the weirdest most there's no way this movie should ever have been made there's no way it should work there's just no way it should even exist in the world and it's awesome Craig you're younger yeah I probably saw it when I was nine ten years old I guess so in the early 2000s but Kerry was right in that range with like Farley Sandler Mike Myers as all these guys who just committed to the bit yeah and they were I mean and Kerry in particular is like a human cartoon I mean his face is made of rubber and the commitment to the bit is just something that has has completely aged out and nobody does what he's doing anymore you just like wind him up and watch him go like i don't even know if the movie's good but you just sit back and you watch jim carrey do this and when you when you watch other things you know about him in the 90s and stuff like that you realize that he's not really doing a character ace venturer just is jim carrey yeah it's like stand-up from him in the early 90s and he does he walks out and he goes good evening ladies and gentlemen my name is jim carrey and how are you this evening all righty then and that was him three years before. This is him. Like 10 years before. Can I give you my Jim Carrey? So Zach and I, we've had this running bid. I don't know where it started. It started in my column or in a podcast we did about islands and stock. It started with Dion Waiters. I think Dion Waiters is ground zero for the island. You're right. And now, so people always ask, or in order to the rewatchables, who's Dion Waiters? Because we have the Dion Waiters Award for biggest heat check. it started because zach and i felt like we were the only two people that liked dion waiters and we started waiters island it got to the point where i have a waiters island t-shirt so do i it's red somebody gave it to us yeah it's got like gilligan's island font they clearly ripped off the gilligan's island font so when i was a kid in the 80s i would i just would like people and would not understand why they didn't become more famous and most of those people i from either Saturday Live, David Letterman Show, or like weird HBO shows. I saw Jim Carrey. I'm not doing the, I saw, I claimed Jim Carrey. I just always liked Jim Carrey because it started, he did this comedy store anniversary show in 1983. You can find it on YouTube. 11th annual comedy store show. And he came on, I didn't know who he was, and he just started doing impressions. And he did Leonid Brezhnev. He did Clint Eastwood. And it was just like, what is this guy doing? He just did a Leonid Brezhnev impersonating. He did all these things. But the best one he did was Michael Landon smiling. And he's like, here's an impression of Michael Landon smiling. And he turns away and he comes back and he just kind of does it. And I was just like, this is, who is this guy? This is amazing. So then he was on Letterman a year later, saw that too. He was in a movie called Once Bitten, which is a vampire movie with Lauren Hutton. And it was like, hey, it's the guy who did the Michael Landon smiling. I hope this is going to work out for him. didn't see him again for five years comes back in in in love and color and he's the white guy and then becomes the biggest star on that show he's in comic relief a couple times but it never really happens for him and then they finally throw him a bone with this movie and i think he was like this is my one chance i'm fucking making this happen and it turns out he is one of the great i mean there's other stuff he got rejected from snl twice craig 1980 and 86 and the second time lauren was doing the casting it was the dana carvey it was phil hartman and he wanted to be on the show and he got rejected i'm pretty sure i've seen like the audition tape from that and it's legitimately very funny like it's one of those some of those you watch you're like yeah he didn't didn't bring it didn't bring the right stuff that day i understand why they said no that one you're like oh that was like right in front of their face and they missed it yeah lauren was always like weird about the the mugging he never really had like the mugging over the top characters they're almost always better as the guest host yeah he's almost carries almost too big for snl i wonder how he would have operated in like a normal sketch playing the boyfriend if he could even do he would have overpowered it well the irony is i think that like the conversation of what was the greatest snl ever thank you i was just about to say i actually think he hosted the best one ever and i think the guest may have been or the musical guest was soundgarden i want to say but he was on and it was will ferrell's first year and they just went magic and bird for like an hour and a half the hot tub lifeguard yeah jacuzzi lifeguard just like swimmer you are too far away well he also did the night of the roxbury sketch that's right oh yeah of course and they did the those cut and that was like had become a thing and even that movement is kind of ace ventura right and so he did it and his head is just going over here and there like he was just crazy so anyway the reason we bring all this up is because this guy goes from like i like that guy i wish and then on Living Color, like, oh, I wonder if anything, and then all of a sudden, 1994 is one of the great years in the history of movies. Which he does what? He does this, The Mask and Dumb and Dumber, all come out in the same year? Ace Ventura comes out February 17th. The Mask comes out July. Ace Ventura's 17th worldwide that year. The Mask is ninth. Mask comes out and hits. Now everybody's like, Jim Carrey is now the future of comedy. Dumb and Dumber, December. That's the biggest one of all of them, sixth. And I believe the Farrelly brothers who did Dumb and Dumber cast him after seeing Ace Ventura. Yes. Which happened in only like a 10, 11 month span. Here's the other thing. He's still on In Living Color for half of the year because the show ends in May. So he has the three biggest comedy movies of the year. And he's on the show that I think a lot of people loved and lasted for you. It really left because Keenan Ivory Wayans left. um he made almost 700 million in those three movies with the box office gross and he was the second highest grossing box office star in 1994 and at the start of the year was the white guy in the living color like there's never been a year like that that i can remember in my half-assed internet research i think it was a ringer story about it but it was either ringer or vulture he was paid less than half a million dollars for ace ventura like that i have it 350 for ace $4.50 for Mask $7 million for Dumb and Dumber $10 million for Ace 2 and then $20 million for The Cable Guy the one that broke Hollywood everyone was like oh my god this is not right this guy makes faces and he's getting Tom Cruise money what's going on? well you almost kind of understand why he wasn't paid that much for Ace Ventura because the movie is a crazy risk the character that he's playing and the script and what it is he even says in the research like when you listen to him talk about the movie and when they were making this movie he was like I knew this was either going to be something that people really went for it was going to completely ruin me Right. And you can kind of tell the production company who made this movie, Morgan Creek Productions, the CEO, Jim Robinson, said he said, make a film that nobody my age gets. And wasn't this movie completely panned like Ebert and all these guys? The critics hated this movie. I can't even imagine if I was 16. My dad was like early 50s. I can't even imagine him tolerating this movie at that age for five minutes. he would he wouldn't even not not only would he have not tolerated he would have not tolerated it being on in our house so i can't this is not even allowed it's really apex mountain for you had to have seen this movie within a certain age range and if you didn't there's no way it would work but if you saw between like 10 and 18 it's with you for life but you can't bring anyone into it now so i tried with my son who's 18 he was like this movie's terrible but jim carrey's hilarious okay and he was like i get why they made it i get why i was successful and i enjoyed it and i was like you're gonna end up watching it 10 times he's like yeah probably yeah i mean i don't even know what pg-13 means anymore but this movie was made for 13 year old boys yeah carrey's a good blend of a there's adult humor in the movie and there's there's kid humor and it feels like now those things are kind of bifurcated where you can only have one or the other but this movie i mean there are a lot of references i'll get into this later that i I don't that I definitely didn't understand when I was a kid that I do now. There's sexual innuendos and things like things like that. But then it's also just like him kicking around a package and it's hilarious. Yeah. I had forgotten about the opening scene and kicking around the package. And because I had not seen a movie before research for this. And I'm going to say eight to 10 years. I had not even been on for more than five minutes continuously in my life. And I completely forgot about that scene. And it's like an extended. Yeah. Like really like walk and tracking shot kind of thing. I'm like, and he just says nothing. And he's both, he's immediately athletic, graceful, and just wildly out there. Like from, from shot one of the movie, it's like, wait, they're doing, it's just two minutes of this guy kicking a package. Why is this happening? And I didn't even remember why it was happening. Like, why is he intentionally damaging this package? What is going on here? Like I've forgotten. Yeah. I think it's so the guy has to spend time filling out the form so he can swap the dog. Kidnaps the dog and replaces it with stuffed animals. This is something that would happen in the 80s and 90s And I don't feel like it happens anymore Where somebody is just Kind of famous and funny enough to get a movie Greenlit like this Where it's like, it's a dumb premise And you're the star, let's make it Like Billy Madison, same thing With Adam Sandler, that was his first movie Mike Myers had So I Married an Axe Murderer Which we did, which is a little more advanced I think than this movie But Norm Macdonald had dirty work Remember? It's just letting somebody cook Yeah, just be funny. Do the stuff you do. We'll come up with some premise around it and just go nuts. Does Tommy Boy fall into that? Tommy Boy is another one. And then they tried with Will Ferrell with Night of the Roxbury, and they didn't really get it right with him until old school. But I don't feel like Marcelo Hernandez, who seems like he's taking off on SNL now, in 1993 they just sort of been like, just do a movie where you live with your family and do Marcelo Hernandez things, and here's a dumb premise. it's kind of gone yeah and i don't i don't know if marcello he would have to have a character that was big enough and popular enough to even warrant that i mean he did like the the one where he's at the like bachelorette party and he's getting cheated on or whatever yeah domingo yeah that would have been a movie probably in the 1993 they would have made a domingo movie they did it with you might be speaking into existence right now like someone is going to listen to this and be like that's it that's not about like that's bankable well one of the things i think everyone in Hollywood is trying to figure out right now is what happened in the comedy can we bring it back right because horror movies have just been unassailable since the early 70s action movies come and go franchises but these comedies that are these iconic 90s and 2000 comedies they just yeah they don't exist in the same way now they kind of end up on streamers just to start out with or they become tv shows like Craig loves the studio yeah maybe in the 90s the studio was just The TV show is a movie. It's a 90 minute movie. It's a bummer because that, you know, comedies used to make good money, not huge money, but good money. And now people just want to hit home runs and not doubles. Yeah. And so comedies now live on streaming services. And it stinks because if you ever once in a while get to see a comedy in theater still like I saw the new Naked Gun in a packed theater, it was such a better experience. And it completely shapes your opinion of a movie. If you're watching alone on your couch versus 200 other people, because when everybody else is laughing, you feel comfortable to laugh. and when you're alone it just doesn't hit the same every comedy you guys just named from from tommy boy to so i married an axe murder to uh what you said i saw all of them in the theater yeah and naked original naked gun yeah i saw in the theater um all-timer from i don't think people want to see comedies in the theater anymore because tickets are expensive yeah it's a whole process premium and you just wait until it is on like whatever on a streamer it's like you go to see top gun maverick because it's a spectacle you you don't need to see a comedy in theaters but i would argue when you go and you do see a really funny movie in theaters you leave being fulfilled and it's worth it do people want to see horror movies in the theaters because they like the collective experience yes we're all scared because i love that i love being scared i'm not a big theater girl anymore but i used to love going to scary movies here so why does it not translate to laughing like what's what's the difference between those two sensations that one lends itself more a collective great question i just think the theatrical experience for horror the big screen like just the ability to have the sound in the image being so big and like looming over you i think delivers that fear in a way that at home can't and people think oh i can laugh at home what's the difference i think i could be scared at home though i do you put me in a quiet house with scary movie on that is that's pretty scary well you don't you're not allowed to watch horror movies in your house not at the little house not not unless my wife is on a trip mrs low is hardcore that what are the cross-offs for you for thrillers gruesome violence uh gruesome violence and horror yeah pretty much just it just yeah like nasty tension stuff like that also the risk of doing this movie if you're jim carrey it's so vulnerable to be doing these characters and i really think that the internet now and just the way criticism works somebody would get destroyed if they tried to do a movie like this and somebody did a character like this it is so out there and putting yourself out there yeah um well there's but there's one other piece to this though i hesitate to bring up like we zach's specialty is basketball yes he watches a lot of yeah and sometimes in basketball types of players just come and go right like we used to have centers with awesome post-up moves and then they just kind of went away i guess my question is do we just not have funny people that can carry movies like this anymore jim carrey toiled away for 12 years doing stand-up being in sketch shows like putting in the time and now you have like not to bring up marcelo hernandez again but we just brought him up before he was on snl for two years probably getting off for stuff he didn't toil away in the same way like crafting her persona and trying to figure out all these ways to attack comedy and maybe these people just don't exist or maybe it's just easier to be a tiktok youtube just do comedy that way and and versus like thinking about it in a movie sense i don't know i don't know the answers also i don't know if the upside is there if you're marcello it probably feels impossible to have your own dumb and dumber or ace ventura or happy gilmore because those movies don't exist they don't succeed in theaters they don't make that much money so why would he want to put himself out there and potentially put out a flop or something that lands on a streaming you'd rather have like a netflix comedy yeah well chain ghost is a good example right shane gillis in the 90s would have if you time machine him he would have made like a dirty work or like a yeah this kind of movie now he does tires on netflix well all of these movies that we're talking about in particularly the carrie movies are on some level on every level completely absurd like the situation is absurd character there don't exist in the real world and a lot of like the great comedic people of the last 15 or 20 years have gone on and made like really funny movies but they all exist in like our actual reality none of them are like trying to lean into this absurd space and so there's no they're not like this crazy character drives the movie but like yeah you can go tina fey amy poehler wolf ferrell they've all had like these great movies but none of them are quite this like absurd except zoolander i think would be a good example of what i'm talking about just like just a completely absurd thing that does not really exist but then zoolander 2 didn't work well zoolander was like 2001 so it was still kind of in that like spiritually 90s movie that long ago wow i think so not only 2001 it was like two weeks after 9-11 oh really it was the first hey america it's okay to laugh come see zoolander and it was it kind of wasn't okay yet yeah pharaoh i feel like was the bridge where he could still kind of do the wonky characters the talladega nature anchormans but then after him we went into the judd apatow era which was more that's a great call that's that's a persona if those movies are the persona they're funny like i like them oh i adore them but they're much more grounded it's craig's that's his wheelhouse yeah but i mean but these are the apt-out movies are a good example those guys were all fucking awesome one-of-a-kind stars that are in those movies like even ben and i watched a 40-year-old virgin last week jonah hill's in there it's he's like it seems like he's like 11 years old he's buying the boots he's buying boots i don't even remember him buying bedazzled boots he probably wants to kill himself when he sees the video he's just like he's like just like so he's like 400 pounds and he looks like he's 10 yeah but like he populated rogan's in that movie paul rudd's in that movie correll's in that movie like you think of we just had a lot of characters back then and that's i mean i'm doing this off the top and i'm this is not my realm like it is yours but that's like the correll all right this is my shot he got it from man they saw him as brick tamlin it's similar of like all right like this is kind of a strange movie you're gonna play a 40 year old virgin who's a weirdo and has dolls at his house and like it gets his chest hair shaved off like another movie that really shouldn't have worked as well as it did he's another example though he toiled away forever yeah and was in sketch comedy all kinds of stuff colbert was another one that was put in a lot of time others another commonality between Carey and Carell and some of the other people you just mentioned. Sneaky handsome. Like, there's, like, a leading man, like, handsomeness hidden under the goof. Like, Steve Carell is just, like, a straight-up, like, hot dude now. Like, a hot old guy now. Jim Carey is, like, sneaky handsome. Steve Carell is watching this right now, like, fuck yeah. Thank you. The basketball guy loves me. Somewhere in the middle of The Office, everyone around Steve Carell, like, season three of The Office, everyone around that show and Steve Carell made a collective decision. We're glamming you up a little bit. Karel got his hair done. Season 1, he's thinning. Season 2, something happened. I didn't want to just say it so baldly like that, no pun intended, but something happened. He got fitter. So it was clear like you're becoming a real star now. I got to talk about 94, which is in the running for best movie year of the last 40, quickly. And people remember from the Pulp Fiction, Forrest Gump, Scott Shank. I'm still mad about all of it. So people remember the Oscars for it. There's a whole bunch of Apex breakout crazy stuff. I'm just going to run through this quickly. Pulp Fiction, Tarantino breakout, Sam Jackson, Travolta, Forrest Gump, Hank's Apex, Shawshank becomes Shawshank, but also Morgan Freeman is now here. He does seven the next year. True Lies, Schwarzenegger's comeback. Lion King, probably felt like the biggest original disney movie that they made like it was just perfectly marketed it had the elton john song it was a monster just like it was kind of disney where you're like oh this is peak of their powers uh speed not only the keanu reeves breakout but they pushed up the uh summer movie schedule for it they said fuck it let's start it in may and it completely reinvented that fantastic theater experience great and as my wife knows it it's still not over for me and saundra ball like all these years later well i'm glad i'm glad you see that's how i have tiffany amber thees then with my wife it's just like look man i met her before i knew you and it's just fine um disclosure michael douglas first to be more we did that movie but that was like two big movie stars pitted against each other with a very important topic santa claus the tim allen apex love it Saw it just recently because my daughter's going through all the classic holiday movies. I watch it every year. It'll be on the rewatch at some point. Clear and Present Danger, just a Harrison Ford movie in his prime. Interview of the Vampire, Cruise and Pit Together. Legends of the Fall, a second Pit movie. Hoop Dreams, best sports movie doc ever. Come on. Quiz Show, Redford, did that one. Theater. Reality Bites, The Peak of Gen X and Ethan Hawke. Four Weddings and a Funeral. Hugh Grant's Breakout. Blue Chips and Above the Rim. maybe the best basketball movie combo year we've had those two. And then we also had little big league, mighty ducks too, and angels in the outfield for kids movies. And there's a bunch more stuff, but it's just like, I look at 94 and I'm just like, we kind of had it all going. I don't know how we get back. We didn't know. And Jim Carrey busting out and having the year of Jim Carrey. How's mighty ducks too? Cause I, not, I, we, I just saw mighty ducks for the first time in my life. Last weekend, we had a family new movie night. My daughter loves kids' sports movies. Mighty Ducks, like, didn't know Joshua Jackson was involved at all. He's turned out he's heavily involved. I enjoyed it. Mighty Ducks are great movies. I haven't seen them in a while. One and two. Maybe even three. Well, there's – we haven't done either of these yet. There's a camp. D2. The D2 is the one. I'm excited. It's like Terminator 1 versus Terminator 2 kind of thing. I'm Terminator 1. I'm team one. Yeah. Some people are like T2 is one of the greatest. That's where we go. Ace Ventura The cinematographer said The stuff he was doing was so over the top I truly thought this was going to be the biggest piece of shit ever He added a shitload of improv stuff Including The ass talking scene Which is in the running for funniest single scenes He's ever done Apparently happened in Living Color Because Keenan Ivory Wayans Kept rejecting his sketches So finally one day he got up and pitched a sketch with his ass and Keenan Ivory Reigns got pissed and they almost had a fist fight. This is an actual story. And then Carrie said on Inside the Actor's Studio that he based Ace Ventura on a smart bird. He thought about him, how he would move like an actual animal. And the clothing he picked, the walk was bird-like. He's kind of dressed like a pirate. His hairstyle was like a parrot. Yeah. And that was kind of what he was going for. You just have to be insane. Yeah. Even like come up with all that stuff. You just have to have a screw loose in a good way. It really sounded like they knew this could be a piece of shit. And they were like, we don't care. This is our humor. We're going for it. Yeah. Because the director as well, who was like a young joke writer, they both went in being like, this could completely ruin our careers. And their goal was to make something that was so over the top and potentially unappealing to some people, which is insane now. Like now you have to make something that's broad enough for everybody. them going in saying and half the audience might fucking hate this it's just crazy maybe we should do that you create a character that's hard into advanced metrics for breaking down basketball and you're just doing voices and crazy shit work on that i'll work yeah some i i do when i was reading all these things we read a lot of the same stuff it sounds like i i did have a moment where i was like i wonder what like day 21 on set is if if there's a contingent of the people in the crew And the cast were just like This fucking guy This is just really Going to places where I didn't expect He's in the tutu in reverse And they're like I don't know about this Should I get out of this? Like is it too late for me to get out of this now? Well it seems like there's only a couple Comedy actors ever That if you just let them loose And let them explore the studio space They were going to explore Like Robin Williams I think was like this too They're like hey we wrote this scene Where can you just like Dead Poets side Can you just live in front of the class for a couple minutes He's like, great. Yeah. And he's just doing it for two hours. You got it. I think there was a sense even on set that this was like, we're watching a freak. Like, this is, it's like Wembenyama. I don't know what I'm watching, but there's nobody who can replicate this. Well, the weird thing about him is women definitely dig him and dug him. And he ends up dating Lauren Hawley, who's the dumb and dumber, and they end up together. But then Courtney Cox, there was like, she was on Stern four years ago. and he was like what'd you think of jim carrey like thinking she'd be like oh he's so fucking annoying and he and she was like i kind of had a crush on him back then i really kind of dug him one of my it wasn't going to be a nitpick it was going to be a probably unanswerable question was like how did she pretend her character to be into this psychopath basically and there are so many scenes where he's doing his weird thing and she's looking at him with her bat in the blue eyes yeah batting the blue eyes and you're like there's no way this woman would be into him and then you find out that on set she was falling for him while he was doing this character so you like all right i guess that is real you guys might not like some of the choices i made for our categories later I can wait I mean she did marry David Arquette She might have just like goofball guys If we say one slanderous word against Courtney Cox, I'll storm out of this set. I'm ready to do it right now. Not say slanderous stuff. Another one I had stock in, Zach. Courtney Cox. Let me take you back to 1984. before we're just doing we're just going down the whole path now okay she's just in the dancing in the dark video of springsteen didn't know that wow see look at that i mean it's a landmark thing didn't know that for for men of you didn't know that no springsteen who's like you come from down in the valley he's doing all those songs comes out born in the usa and the first song is dancing in the dark it's just a pop song and the video is him on him on stage and he's doing this weird dance and it's just like i don't even know how to it would be like if patrick mahomes just completely changed his look one day and it was just a completely different person voice all of a sudden and he was just like dressed like a motorcyclist or something and you were like what's going on patrick mahomes why is he in all leather bruce comes out he's like trying to be a pop star and there's this girl dancing in the video and you keep seeing her and then he points to her and he goes, hey baby! and brings her on the stage and they dance and it became a phenomenon who is this girl? and it was Courtney Cox which leads to her being on Family Ties in an 18 episode run as Alex P. Keaton's girlfriend played by Michael J. Fox every guy my age was in love with her so I'm not taking credit it was everybody she toiled away for six years like just in bad movies it never happened for her and then it finally happened boy did it happen here's what happens ace ventura she's in seinfeld during the breakout the real breakout like seinfeld becoming replacing chair's a dry cleaner girlfriend she's the jerry's girlfriend who pretends they're married so she can get the dry cleaning discount he has to break up with her you could spend an hour talking about people who have cameoed in seinfeld she probably is the most important one and here's why they're making friends right they're like this courtney cox who was in ace ventura and who was in that seinfeld episode maybe we build friends around her and they make friends and it's like a vehicle for her basically then it becomes friends so this movie paves the way to friends she kind of important has never looked better and ushered me into adulthood in this film i said to my son ben i was like i don't know if it gets better i think we might have peaked also i think jennifer and the cutest of of the possible you could never have put a cuter actress into a movie i think jennifer aniston almost overshadowed her maybe not market corrected her but jennifer aniston and her being in friends you almost like couldn't focus on both and aniston maybe won out but when you courtney cox in this movie we always joke i'm a warriors fan and we say like the only player who could get hotter than Steph was Clay. I actually think Courtney Cox, in the right moment, can put up 37 and a quarter. And that's what she does in this movie. So you think she's Clay. This is interesting. I'm so glad Zach's here for this. Like, she's the only one where I'm like, you know what, there are moments. It is her over Jennifer Aniston. In this movie, 37 in the third quarter. So this is such a great topic because when Aniston's on Friends, she becomes the breakout star of Friends and every guy is in love with her, including me. And me too. I mean, they're both the most beautiful women in the I think I was exactly the same age. The Aniston piece was like, everybody in America, no matter where you lived and how much money you made, you were like, I feel like I could talk myself into getting a date with her if I just met her. Yeah. She was very accessible. This never crossed my mind for one second. You thought Jennifer Aniston was accessible? I think. I thought she was accessible hot. Like if you ran into Jennifer Aniston. I was like, she would like my friends. Yeah. She was like one of those. I think it's because she wanted. None of this ever crossed my mind. Courtney Cox was not accessible. She was just like, I wouldn't be able to talk. I also think the nature of being on a TV show versus being a movie star made that person feel more attainable. Like, oh, I watch her every week. She's in an apartment. She would love us. Yeah. She would not. She would not. She would not. We play video games. She would not have loved any of us. She's looking for a job. She would have walked out quickly. What do I know? I've been lost. I'm barely employed. I'm just getting lost. You're just calling your shot. Your heat checks. I mean, it's MJ versus LeBron. Cox and Aniston in 94. It's out of control. I've never thought about this before. What an incredible market correction that was. Why are we pitting them against each other? They're friends. Courtney Cox, Teddy Evans. I want to lift them both up and champion both of them. That's like Clay and Steph. Exactly. Who's Draymond? Lisa Kudrow? Lisa Kudrow. I was going to go Matt LeBlanc. I don't know. Just like a little bit bigger. It hits people. I mean, honestly, probably Matthew Perry because it was a little bit more of a roller coaster ride with him. And that's the Draymond experience. I don't mean to put Jennifer Aniston down in any way because she's also one of the most beautiful women who's ever existed. But I just want to spend some time acknowledging Courtney Cox. That's all. I will say it is – if you had told me in – Zach doesn't agree. No, I just have a totally different take on the movie, I guess. But go ahead. Well, I was going to say if you told me in spring of 94, Courtney Cox is going to be on a show with six people. And a year from now, somebody else on that show that's not Courtney Cox will be the sex symbol that everybody is cutting their hair to look like. I would have been like, that's impossible. There's going to be another part, but it's not going to be Courtney Cox. Zach doesn't agree. I'm just going to say my, I'm just going to say, we'll do it later. All right, save your take. We'll do it later. Anyway, this is a very important Courtney Cox movie. Is there such a thing as a very important Courtney Cox movie? Because she tore away. Very important. It's not a poor Stacy movie. You didn't see The Opposite Sex and How to Live with Them in the theater in 1992. Yeah, I fucking went to support Courtney Cox. I don't even know what that is. It was set in Boston. Zach, you said you were 15 when you saw this movie? Ace Ventura is 94, so 16. And Courtney Cox didn't do anything. I mean, look. I'm not saying she didn't do anything. I'm just saying I have a different take on the movie. We're learning Zach has a type. Sean Young, last hurrah, very controversial rewatchables character. Yeah. Because we did no way out with Kevin Costner. Chris Bryant and I love Sean Young in that movie. And Craig's like, eh. Just kind of shrugged it off. That became a thing. This is her last hurrah after this It's all over and she's not really in any movies And a notoriously Difficult Hollywood actor Shall we say We'll get back to her later $15 million budget Made $107 million It sold 4.2 million Home videos in its first three weeks Wow That's a lot So normally when Craig's producing We still do the Whirlbeck Century Club Which was the new category this year Craig 86 minutes I can't believe it's under 90 You're just delayed 86 minutes Craig thinks every movie should be 100 minutes So this is a plus 14 on the Horvath scale It's not a bad take The Departed can be long, that's okay But in general For rare exceptions, every movie should be under 2 hours And it should be around 100 minutes 86 minutes this movie is And it doesn't feel like it's too short I feel like everything you want is in there They develop the plot I feel like we should say this movie's plot and premise is way too good than it needs to be. That's a good point. I think the plot's kind of amazing. It's fantastic. A disgrace kicker who goes back home and plots his revenge to kill the quarterback who held the ball wrong is a fantastic plot. But you have that, but then you also have Pet Detectives, also a great idea. this movie has two great ideas a great detective is a insane idea but then like but a funny idea for a movie you're right the plot is a little twistier than it has any right to be like oh that thread connects to that like what's going on here why am i thinking about this movie you totally think it's the rich guy which he has nothing to do with it right he's about caring the finkel einhorn twist for however problematic it is is a crazy twist for a comedy there's not a lot of twists and comedies genuinely didn't see that coming and the idea of i'm going to spend the next eight years of my life plotting to kidnap and murder dan marino is an incredible plot what what basketball person would ray finkel it is there somebody who'd blame somebody else like this would be like jr smith i was about to say mad at lebron for being blamed for the lebron would play blame jr smith for botching the end of game one of the 2018 finals lebron smith would be the ray finkel though you would have to blame lebron for like a bench player LeBron actually told him to call timeout And then pretended he didn't It would have to be the plot I'm going to be distracted Maybe it's like Draymond trying to kill the ref Who gave him that technical in 2016 Jordan Poole Jordan Poole ruined my career And he punched me Now I'm going to get revenge on Draymond Ace Ventura 3 Poole detective Discrustle teammate detective Roger Ebert to the surprise of nobody one star how many one star movies have we done? four? it's such a rarity for us he said this movie basically has one joke which is Ace Ventura's weirdy nerdy strangeness if you laugh at this joke I can sympathize with you even if I can't understand you I found the movie a long unfunny slog through an impenetrable plot impenetrable plot kids might like it almost a compliment kids might like it i'll keep this compliment i'll keep going um carrie plays ace as if he's being clocked on an energy meter and paid by the calories expended he's a hyper goon who likes to screw his mouth into strange shapes while playing variations on the language you know what that's all correct yeah and roger ebert was 52 when this movie came out it's not for you my dad would have not let it be on for one minute it would have been like he's talking i was but you're smarter than this get get this nonsense off the idiot box that's what that's almost exactly i'm older than 52 and when he puts the when he's at the mansion and he puts the food and he started doing this with the food i left my ass you probably saw it when you were 20 i know but it's still funny so this is my general visceral funny reaction my general take on the movie and i just want to get it out now yeah you mentioning that scene where he makes the face that the guy who's not looking right he's just it's a completely throwaway moment and i laugh out I think generally the small jokes in this movie are way funnier than the big jokes. I think the big jokes are largely not that great. And I'll hit some of them later. It's those kind of moments. Yeah. And those kind of facial expressions and smug expressions that I think make the whole movie. I think they're the best part of the movie. I agree. We're going to take a break and then we're going to do most rewatchable scene. All right. Most rewatchable scene. Opening credits with the box when he steals Tex Cobb's dog. Tex Cobb was a pretty well-known boxer in the 70s and 80s for heavyweight division. Famously got the shit kicked out of him by Larry Holmes on ABC. And Howard Cosell was so upset by how one side of the fight was, he vowed never to do boxing again and was killing the fight as it was happening. That's how Tex Cobb was known. Then he went into movies. Wow. And apparently the black eyes are real. Yeah, he got in a fight. It's alive I think that scene's funny Next scene, Ace's pets come out of hiding Which I think is a great shot Gordo candidate Here are the pets Raccoon, iguana, penguins, an otter There's too many Skunk, monkeys, squirrel, basset hound, parrots, and a cat The raccoon comes out of the toilet Yeah, and the penguins come out of the fridge So I didn't do this much half-assed research which maybe one of you did, is that monkey, the little monkey, is it Ross's monkey from Friends? Is it the same actor monkey? Wow. There can't be that. That kind of monkey has a name that I'm blanking on. Marcel. From the show? Yeah, Marcel. Yeah, it's got to be the same monkey. How many of these monkeys can there be floating around? Or maybe there's a million monkeys, and Marcel just got tabbed. There were other people that could have the shot. Happens in Hollywood all the time. My son really, really marveled at this scene, and it was a how did they do this scene for him. because there's no cgi no then he's like how do they get all these animals to coexist together i actually thought this thing could have gone longer yeah even i could have watched him feed the animals i just had more questions i love pets yeah and they all hide like the toys in toy story when he jingles the key yeah yeah it's a great it's a great moment yeah honestly we're like two two apartment scenes short with the pets i could i could have run it back apparently the sex scene when all the animals are around as well. Apparently, Carrie said that they are all tied to the ground, so they can't move. Oh. He said they were trained to do that. I wonder if Peter was on the set going... Is that problematic? I don't know. You tie your dog to a pole. See, I think the sex scene, not good enough. I think it should have been funnier. The highlight of the sex scene is the bird that's bouncing up and down, mimicking the movements. I think they were very scared to veer toward the R-range. I just feel like for a guy who has this level of physical comedy and inanity and insanity to him, the sex scene should have been bonkers. More animalistic. I don't even know what. Just crazier. That's actually what Roger Ebert wrote in his review. He's like, that sex scene should have been bonkers. Next scene. Ace checks out the empty dolphin pool and does Star Trek impressions. I think you have to be over 45 to get even – did you even get those jokes? Yeah. So that's the correct answer to this question. That's the best scene in a movie. That's your most rewatchable? Should I go on? Yes. I will say that he gets into the tank and he says to Courtney Cox, if I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer. That is one of the most perfectly written jokes in the history of jokes. The first time I heard it, I think that one joke single-handedly changed my sense of humor. Oh, wow. Just the zigzag construction of the joke and the kind of meanness underlying it almost, I think, changed me in that moment. The Star Trek impression is perfect because it's just like Shatner. Multiple characters. But like 20% more Shatner-y. And then we talked about this offline. The scene, the part of that scene where he pretends to be the Dolphins' German trainer. which which is not in the movie anymore it's a crime that that's not in because every single line of it yeah i believe the original theatrical cut when i saw it as a kid had that scene so i knew that scene i don't know why it's not on netflix now so does he know you does he call you at home do you have a torso fin and i'm up on the table it's just like absolutely pitch perfect the entire way through so we were talking because he was asking me why that wasn't in there we were talking offline and i was saying how when these movies were on tnt comedy central wherever they would have to pad the movie to get it to two hours so this is 86 minutes so if it's a two-hour slot on comedy central out of it they have to have 34 minutes of commercials they don't want to do that so they put in deleted scenes and they would pad the movies so you would see saw these movies on cable there'd be these extra scenes and then you buy it on dvd or whatever you're like where's the scene that i like it's just not there so if you include that horror movies had this too if you include that part german trainer hans something or other and you can quote him yeah that whole scene is nirvana that's that's nirvana and even for somebody like whatever i was 11 years old no idea what they were talking about the voices are still funny him going i just can't do it captain it just still played for an 11 year old next one ace gets tackled at the police station excuse me i'd like to ask you a few questions um so i did that i'll freely admit i do this to my kids basically like when they were younger when because they thought this was hilarious yeah and it was just a running joke in our family it still makes me laugh i'm not proud of it assholio sodomia do you have a minute i see i didn't i don't think 16 year old me registered those jokes at the time it was nice to hear it was nice to hear them again it has a good throwaway line too at the end when she's like blah blah blah sean youngson blah blah blah there's gonna be hell to pay and he's like i'm not ready for a relationship yet or whatever like good that's a good line okay snuck it that one in the end but i love that whole scene uh the mansion party date i love a nice big rich mansion with a bad guy in a comedy like you never go wrong uh mentioned the food thing i think that's the big kahuna burger word for best use of food or drink when he's eating the crab cake or whatever that is yeah or if you have another one what's your what's your other one uh when he's eating what are they sesame seeds in the ashtray do you want a cigarette i don't smoke it's disgusting habit this has the mission impossible riff oh i really which by the way was going out of favor in the mid-90s because the show was from the 60s so it was like tail end And then Cruz brought it back And now it's timeless again Yeah him scaling the Fancy you know you don't realize right away That it's going to be as absurd As it is that he doesn't need to do Any of those acrobatic things And he's just doing it because He thinks it's fun yeah You get the snowflake Gag where it turns out to be the shark It's not snowflake The ring ID montage When he's looking up with Line up by Aerosmith which I think when's the kid cut you pursued a happiness word right i was gonna give that or mission impossible okay um the sex scene with all the animals watching the director said that was one of the most disturbing scenes he's ever filmed by the way the director was i had that in my notes tom shadyak who also co-wrote the screenplay he did ace ventura the nutty professor liar lara patch adams bruce almighty wow yeah jim carrey's guy also apparently courtney cox terrified bite of animals and it was a mess on set and she was petrified the whole time that's bad casting you got it that's one of those where like the actor lies like you ever played hockey before yeah i've been skating my whole life and then they get on set and they don't know how to skate there was a scene where she interacted with the monkey and they said she was shaking so bad they had to cut it ironically potentially the same monkey that was on friends yeah maybe it's marcel um the screenwriter jack bernstein actually came up with the pet detective idea after he watch the david letterman sketch about pet owners so letterman tentacles he had again uh two more rewatchable scenes visit to ray finkel's house which it's fun but when the mother goes damn marina i've got a reader right now i love it she might come up in best thing worst thing would you give that the billy billy bats jack waltz the word for most fighting and scalable She might win like six categories. Ace gets into Shady Acres just for the slow motion run and then the football in the back. So you know what makes the slow motion thing is that he not only does it backwards. Yeah. But that he talks backwards and it's just nonsense gibberish. And you're like, what is he doing? He's like, oh, he's mimicking what he would sound like if your words came out backwards. That's why even if you don't find this joke funny or that joke funny, it's just impressive. Yeah. Watching him do what he does. That's so hard to do to make yourself sound like you're speaking backwards. It's incredible. And I think the fight scene is really funny with him and Sean Young. It's just like those fight scenes usually are bad in comedies. That one's actually good. And it's like it's funny that it has some twists and turns. Any other rewatchable scenes you have? The fight scene with the eagle at the end is also the mascot. Very good. The eagle mascot. One I'll add is the the crime scene at the apartment after the guy allegedly commits suicide. The sliding glass door. My wife does that in life randomly when applicable. She will do that. I've been doing that since I was 12 years old. All right. So what's your most rewatchable? I think it's the fancy party. Ronald Camp's party for me. Congratulations on all your success. You smell terrific. Ronald Camp played by Udo Kier, who was like just this very serious German actor they decided to cast. Him coming out of the bathroom, do not go in there. so so the how the throwaway moments make the film for me that that whole scene is my second favorite scene behind the pool tank scene whatever when this at the start of the mission impossible bathroom when he's in the bathroom the music hits and he's like he doesn't just walk he's like just this weird like almost thriller like zombie walk yeah what is happening why is he doing this and when he gets to the party that's the funniest thing in the movie to me that dance well no when they get to the party and she's like don't embarrass me he's like like what he's like he's like is he trying to be a pterodactyl like what is this and then but his throwaway joke is when they meet ron camp and he's like she he says to courtney cox aren't you gonna introduce me to your date and she's like oh you know he's i this is my lawyer and ron camp thinks he's being clever he's like oh should does he have a name or should they just call a lawyer and jim care is like oh and it's there's like an underlying meanness and smugness to that facial expression that is just brilliant those are the moments that make the movie for me i think he's the best walker ever in movies for like being able to pull off funny crazy different types of walks yeah he's human because even when he comes in to the police office for the first time but he's doing that walk as he walks through like he's just his control of his own body i don't i can't think of anybody else like this so i had forgotten about the scene right outside the door oh my god and laughing out loud on the plane i was dying yeah dying yeah well have we ever seen carrie play sports because he seems quite coordinated has he never done a sports movie he must know how to skate he's canadian he's got to be a player i wonder it's it's a recurring thing with some of the better comedians like they're really good athletes like belushi was like a great athlete chris farley a good athlete chris farley was an awesome athlete like these guys they can do physical comedy partly because they're just athletic yeah um my most rewatchable scene um is him at the police station that whole start to finish when he's getting heckled he does the ask you a question just all the way through i just like that the most what's the most 1994 thing about this movie what do you have isotoner gloves had that down as well i wrote down dan marino doing a commercial for isotoner gloves I had Dan Marino as the Dolphins QB I had the band Cannibal Corpse Which I did not, I was not aware of them I just feel like that Probably not doing a lot in 2025 Captain Steubing As an ironic comedy reference Now that's just sailing over people's heads My number one Thing though is the Dolphins having a chance To win the Super Bowl Oh I knew somebody was going to go there That felt really 1994 It's been a while for them what takes the best wait do we know does isotoner still exist great question i don't even know what that is it was this i mean did oj kill us the toner gloves or did he have a different type i don't think he had isotoner i think you just slandered isotoner i don't know maybe you did it'd be funny if the next rewatchable side look at the camera i'm like i'd like to apologize for his isotoner gloves oj did not wear them you would see them advertised on television right Like you could order isotoner gloves. They were like the only gloves I'd ever heard of. I don't know how they became a thing, but they are a very 90s thing. I'm clear if they're still around. Take Google Gemini for what it is. According to Google Gemini, yes, evidence in the O.J. Simpson trial indicated he owned and wore Aries isotoner gloves. And that was in June 94. I cannot apologize for what I said. Then they must not be available. And if they are available, I'm going on Amazon Prime right after this and getting a pair of isotoner gloves. Get the O.J.'s. Get the OJ classic edition. So they were just with his signature on. They were just fashionable gloves. Yeah, it was just somebody trying to own the gloves market. They were like, check these out. Isotoner. Super comfortable. And I don't know. Everybody gave up on the glove market. What's age the best? What do you have? What's age the best? Courtney Cox. I had Courtney Cox as well. Absolutely. I would say giving people chances. Jim Carrey being this guy on In Living Color and just deciding to allow him to have a movie where he cooks for 90 minutes obviously aged incredibly well. And we saw it afterwards with Adam Sandler and Mike Myers and stuff like that. This kind of paved the way for just kind of letting somebody, letting an executive just be like, you know what? This guy's kind of funny. I see something in him. I'm just going to let him go. Right. Here's the budget. Yeah. Come up with an 86-minute movie for us. What do you have? I just think it's the entire Jim Carrey experience. I mean, I don't have a great answer for this one. I just think he's his career is gone up and down obviously but like I think his performance in this movie This is my favorite Jim Carrey movie still And I think this performance is like the perfect distillation of how crazy he is Yeah as a comic superstar I have we mentioned earlier what a great double idea this was for a movie These two separate things are actually like pretty smart for a dumb comedy laces out makes me laugh it just age the best in general when they ever they talk about laces in a football that's a great game i always kind of just think about that um comedies where the lead policeman or detective is just a horrible driver it always works i don't know why everyone does do it it's just like oh look at this oh he drove into the garbage can always gets me when he does the parallel park like a cloud yeah yeah um 1990s miami and miami movies in the 80s and 90s being set in miami before it became like a cliche to put stuff there they're on south beach for like i recognize some of the places they're running on south i'm like it doesn't even look like south beach and i was like it's not as glitzy The Chess Rockwell and Brock Lander Is a word for best character name I threw this in I really enjoy Tom Ace Tom Ace Tom Ace Tom Ace Roger Podactor I have two candidates for this One is Roger Podactor Which is also very close to Podcaster But it's also It's just a fun name to say Podactor didn't Didn't commit suicide And then I just think You know Ray Finkel How fun is that to say Ray Finkel Race to the board Ace Ventura Great name Good names The Hans Gruber scale For villain ranking Sean Young is the villain In this movie I think we've got to do The Hans Gruber scale Anytime there's a villain Okay I have her down Four out of ten I mean on the crazy scale She might be like an eight What do you have Execution not so much Three and a half Four Yeah Oh, it's Zach's first ever flex category. So excited. Can't wait to see what he has here. I was going to go with, you guys aren't going to like this. The Seth Rogen and Katherine Heigl Award for Worst Chemistry. Okay. I'm ready for it. I just find the Melissa Robinson character pretty bland. Like, where's the spice? There's like, what does he see in her? What does he see in her? Other than her physical attractiveness. Does she say one funny thing in the whole movie? Is she funny at all for one second? I feel like you almost can't be. She needs to absorb him. There's no banter. They have no banter. There's nothing. She's like a blank wall for him to throw jokes at, except she's a pretty blank wall. So I'm going to defend this in honor of Courtney Cox. I think her comic ability is wasted in the movie. That's a fair point. I think the trope with these movies was the female who's usually hot was just kind of a straight man. I also think part of the joke is that he is so insane and she doesn't bat an eye and is like, I'm into him. She doesn't even realize what's happening throughout the whole movie. But this is basically like Happy Gilmore. It's the same thing. Every movie. She's got a little more spunk. She's like Julie Bowen. Julie Bowen in that movie has got a little more spunk. I think it's intentional that every time it cuts to Courtney Cox, she's just like, oh, Ace. I think that's part of the humor. Also, does it make you feel any differently? It's not even clear to me when and why she goes from horrified by this person to now I'm in love with this person. That's because this isn't a good movie. No. No. I'll tell you when. I didn't really build that one. In the condo, the suicide crime scene, when he figures that out, that's when she falls for him. And you can see it in her eyes. you can see it in her eyes for the first hour she's either like this guy's either a serial killer or special needs yeah i can't decide it's one of these two i think she's like oh maybe he's neither he's just a savant the character of ace is the hardest to buy when he first meets melissa robinson yeah she's describing to him the snowflake situation he almost like can't interact with her she's like hi nice to meet you he's like hello how are you and she's like did you like were you able to park he's like like making a joke about getting a hand up his ass like he actually can't have a human conversation with her and he's eating sunflower seeds that strains credulity a little bit and it eases throughout the rest of the movie you know the only moment in this entire movie when he talks in a normal voice is when she gets the phone call that the guy died roger protector that's right he goes back he walks in the room he's like melissa i'm sorry i'm sorry but he it's He's not doing Ace Ventura. It's the only time in the movie. And those moments are really good. In that same scene, I like, I don't know why this is in the movie, but they're chatting, and he goes, what do you feed your dog? She's like, dog food? And he's like, he's clearly unhappy. And it's kind of serious, and I don't really know why it's there, but it's really good. That scene's coming up later for me. The Butch's Girlfriend Award for weak link of the film. I have a really hardcore one here. A really what? Hardcore one. Okay. Nobody would wear their 1984 AFC championship ring. Not one person. I thought we had. It's fucking absurd. I was thinking of humans. We have What's Age of Worse coming up where we're going to cover the problem with this movie. The idea that everybody associated with that game still wears the ring every day. Every single person's like, you know what's the highlight of my career? The AFC title game. Ten years ago. That I won. And then we lost in the Super Bowl. And I'm just going to. First of all, people, as you guys both know, people don't normally wear their rings. anyway because they're big and heavy and cumbersome you're definitely not wearing your afc championship ring and if you did that's like maybe three guys on the team so that plot's just falling sideways the heat the heat people stand out in the nba community because they often wear their championship rings at least one of them and people they are sometimes uh gently mocked for doing it uh but they do it well you know who does it we don't have to name names but the owners wear the rings They're the ones that wear them Because they love nothing more than somebody Noticing the ring Pointing it out and asking to put it on And they're like oh yeah sure And they're the most important to the win It's like their Walking trophy wife basically Joe Lake made the Warriors light years ahead That's true But the players don't wear them Have you ever seen a player wearing one of their rings The irony of these rings is it's like gotta get the ring And then you fucking put it in a safety deposit box To continue on your point why would these people be wearing these rings also you know finkel loses the gem in the ring in the tub why why would she be wearing that when she's stealing the dolphin why she wouldn't that's because this is a dumb movie and also you're she's not she's not trying to advertise that she's in disguise yeah why is she wearing the ring at all would you have for a week link i wouldn't ask too many questions about the plot actually when once you start to unravel it's tough um i went a little more literal i i had the blandness of the courtney cox character also don't really get why tone loke is in the movie i wish i wish to tone loked it up a little bit more um but you know but i i and i mean i'm going to talk more football later but i think the football parts of it are a little wanting mine was just the resolution of the movie is probably the weak link now you know it yeah it looks like it was a tv movie made by i don't know tbs the hemorrhoids reveal and all of that you know aside from it not aging well it's just like kind of a weak resolution i think oh you meant the actual resolution yeah i thought you meant the resolution of the of the picture no you meant the resolution i mean the literal resolution the climax the intricate plot yeah well that's the problem every comedy from this era had a bad ending i'm half tying it into the fact that it's like obviously inappropriate but it is kind of like if that wasn't there probably a little bit more watchable did this movie have a porn parody well I looked it up and it did and it's called it came out in 1995 and it's called Ask Ventura Crack Detective directed by Herschel Savage what's the plot can you explain it I mean she calls him pet dick in the movie that's waiting so you don't have to change it that much you know? They did. Were animals involved or did they kind of move away from that? Honestly, I thought about doing more research and decided I didn't want to get a virus on my iPad. You can go to a dark place quick with the animals. Yeah, the porn parody thing you want to search for it on IMDb but you don't actually want to click on a link. What was it called? Ass Aspentor Crack Detective. It's not even good. Crack's kind of a stretch. That doesn't rhyme with it. I can understand why it's there. Now I got to call this up because I didn't write down what the guy's name was. You could have just said sex detective. Ask Ventura, crack detective. So his name is Asford Ask Ventura. Searches for Fanny, the wife of Los Angeles Mayor Peter Rumpford. I feel like they could have cast. I think I'm getting a virus. I got to get out of this. They could have cast the same woman from the first scene of the movie, probably in the porn parody as well. Easily. Maybe she double dipped. A more acrobatic and entertaining sex scene Than the Courtney Cox, Jim Carrey sex scene That opening scene when he's like People sure are friendly around here He's like riding On the door frame We're going to take one more break and do What's age the worst? Buckle up Alright, what's age the worst? We could spend 30 minutes on this Or we could spend 30 seconds I vote for 30 seconds The trans stuff in this movie is tough 30 plus years later I'm not going to defend it It's 1994 this is just how it was in 1994 the one thing I will say about so the crying game was a cultural phenomenon when it came out maybe 18 months earlier it was a huge movie the reveal was like keep the reveal a secret stuff that would never happen on the internet and they're trying to parody the crying game of this which I'm not sure anyone under 30 would even know that they're doing Carrie said I wanted to be the biggest most obnoxious homophobic reaction ever recorded. He's parroting the crying game thing. Obviously, he's not age well. Naked Gun 3 also did a twist this. 90210 in the sophomore year season finale episodes in Palm Springs also went down this road where Steve Sanders thought he was going to hook up with this girl. And it turned out he had a little surprise coming. So this was in the air in the mid 90s. So we just have to put it in context I'm sure you guys don't have anything to add We could just move on Great, not great Star Trek impressions have aged the worst Because that show came out in 1966 And I wrote down Melissa liking Ace I thought the same thing Until I read that she literally liked him in real life Watching him on set So how can you say it was unrealistic Maybe he just wears you down she even said that he was toned down in rehearsal and when they actually started filming for real and he started going big that was when she was like oh my god this is the funniest man i've ever met and i started to develop a crush on him okay so how can how can we deny courtney cox's feelings she's full of a lot of love and she loved laughing the only thing i would add to age the worst and i would this could also be my hot take category i think some of the big jokes are just flat out not funny like i think talking out of the ass is not funny oh i think that just hurts i think the text cob one uh where he's in the car chase and he says assholes in the mirror appear closer than they appear like lame there are a couple lame just flat lame here's the thing he's firing 12 threes a game he's he's just trying to go for it feels like some of them are scripted in ways that like the writers like we got to hit this one hard like this feels like a landmark joke and i think almost all of them are like whiffs or fell balls it also varies between like that's pretty funny to a 12 year old maybe not funny to an 18 year old yeah i guess what are they going for right they're not they're not going for me right now in 2026 can i ask you a question is a fucking murderers row comedy for a six-year-old i can just tell you from my two kids as holio and sodomia yeah the best part about that is it cuts away to sean young and then it cuts back to show that like he's still going yeah and still doing the ass thing i think the best part of that and now he's singing i think the best part of that is tone loke being like legitimately terrified that he's gonna get in trouble because they sent her is fucking around at his desk and it's somehow it's supposed to he breaks at the end of it tone look you can see him starting to be like this fucking guy like just started to laugh at the end um i have a couple what's age of the word go um the ending credit song have did you hear it do you know that it's bad it's a tone loke song but jim carrey does the intro and he goes yes tone put that big ass size 13 on and kick it for the homies that's like the very beginning of the credit that's the last time a white person ever ever tried to say a sentence like that just doesn't really work um professional sports teams having live animal mascots. Oh. Not really a thing anymore. I don't know if you know Zach's background with mascots. I'm a big mascot guy. He means live. Like an actual trapped animal. This is one of your corners. I have no objection to that because if you replaced Snowflake the real dolphin... No, I'm saying you're excited that this topic came up. Oh, I'm very excited. I want to talk more about the Eagles mascot getting the crack kicked out of it at the end of the game. I have an issue with that. that we'll get to but yeah can you think of a professional or a collegiate sports team that still has a live animal some do there's the georgia bulldog and pita but it's a dog so there's no you know yeah the buffalo runs out but we don't really know what's happening with the buffalo at colorado games like in its general life where it's strong i like the bulldog idea but it's a dog so it's not really animal dogs are good the Celtics have an actual human being who's just a human without a costume really is their mascot i don't know where that falls what's your number one mascot in nba right now it's hard to argue with benny the bull benny the bull or the raptor would be number one and two stuff the magic dragon most underrated what was the worst mascot of the last 20 years for you well they murdered the uh brooklyn knight the creatively named brooklyn knight uh who was like part marvel superhero part like knight and descended from the ceiling that came out of some sort of marketing meeting and then they were like let's just pretend this never happened yeah he left i like when they pretend the mascot never happened is my favorite mascot and the poochie went back to his planet did the dolphins have a real dolphin was that accurate i don't know i don't think so people go to a football game they guess what they want to do get drunk in the parking lot before the game and then watch football they don't care like oh there's a dolphin does lsu have a tiger did they have a tiger i think they have a tiger i think it's in like a cage it comes out pete is protesting it now um any more uh no the door flers door award for how much did that hurt i threw this in there because i wanted to ask you guys falling off of three-story roof into a bunch of garbage bags i feel like that would hurt more than it does in movies we talked about this in another podcast recently yeah where people jump into the dumpster and it always works out perfectly with garbage bags you never land on a broken wine bottle or like somebody put a chainsaw in there so it's like a nice comfy thing i just have some questions this is a great you're speaking some of these ideas into existence as we were doing earlier so would that hurt yeah there are probably i mean there's a scene where two henchmen take a giant metal hook to the head that's probably the one that'll take you out yeah that's a good one uh the ruffalo hannah ribbon and partridge overacting i have an answer for uh what hurts the most what is it when during the uh asylum visit when he reaches the end of his performance and he just smacks his head down into like a leather bench great like i'm like it looks like he actually just straight up at full velocity smacked his head into a leather bench i'm sure it's padded and all that but i'm like he went hard in that you have to respect it i'm saying stefan digs had one of those in the afc title game when he headbutted the guy with the helmet on and didn't have a helmet you guys are nuts didn't vrabel do that to somebody yeah yeah uh ruff lohan and rubenette partridge overacting word i don't know how this doesn't go to sean young it's it's and there's one moment of like i don't know what she's going for with the overacting just so into it the final scene when they're in the warehouse and he's exposing her as a man she's like convulsing it's one of the most bizarre every time I watch that I'm like whose choice was this? it's like she's having a seizure did she go to the director and be like I think what my character would do is just wobble here with a weird look on their face wouldn't she just have like an evil look on her face? yeah she's having like I guess it's a psychotic breakdown but she's like twitching and sweating and shaking it's very strange well this is exciting Zach gets to do the CR thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison Ford hottest take award for the first time I already did them all oh okay my three were all the big jokes with Courtney Cox's bland those aren't hottest takes those are not that hot enough those are pretty hot the name of the category is Chris Ryan thinks Luke Wilson could have been Harrison yeah hottest take has to be if Steph Curry never met Clay Thompson we wouldn't know who he was it's got to be like whoa I don't know if I have one that hot Craig will teach you had to do this i genuinely think jim carrey should have gotten an oscar nomination for this i flirted with that and i thought maybe it's too ridiculous to say i mean you want to talk about a singular performance something that is irreplaceable that you cannot have anybody slot in and do find me a role that somebody else could do who do we have in the category do you have it uh i'll pull it back up um okay best actor in a leading role 95 tom hanks forrest gump morgan freeman shawshank redemption oh nigel hawthorne the madness of king george and probably would do that one again john travolta pulp fiction and paul newman nobody's fool it's a career achievement oscar you know what carrie is doing in this from a commitment and acting and and uh can this person be replaced perspective is one of one nobody can do what he did and and make a hundred million dollars doing it so a couple things and i've said this on my pod but I've argued about this with Sean. I do think the comedy, like if they want to make the Oscars more fun, like funniest performance of the year should be an Oscar. They should do that. Well, now it's all a mess with these different, the Golden Globes was a complete mess with trying to, what counts as a comedy, what's not a comedy. None of these movies are actually funny. They split it between musical and comedy and drama just to nominate more movies. The other idea that's sitting there is MVP for the year, and it would have to be somebody that was in at least two important movies or influential movies or whatever. Like, Carrie's the MVP of 94. He puts out three comedies. He makes whatever. Nobody else is competing. Hank's had Forrest Gump. That's it. Nobody else is competing with that. And if you think of 94, you probably think of Carrie first. That should be commemorated in some way. Yeah, like next year Tom Holland is in The Odyssey. He's in Spider-Man. He's in Avengers. But it kind of turns into do your movies gross the most money? No, but I don't even think it has to do that. Just like if you're in two, three different things, if you direct two movies in the same year, there's some sort of – or you make a movie and then you produce another movie. I even think Best Comedic Performance would be great because they rarely give nominations to those people. Yeah. And it would recognize them. It's such a bummer because they're some of the hardest things to do as an actor. It would be funny. My hottest take, I think Marino and Ace Ventura, who we didn't really talk about Dan Marino. I think it's the fourth best athlete playing himself cameo of all time. not third not second not first but i think fourth i mean i think he's like bad no i think it's important i think he's funny he's staying dan marino he's keeping the course he's like this is who i am i'm not going to try to act i'm just going to be dan marino i think he's kind of funny i think it's funny that he's not funny so here's what i have The Mount Rushmore for me is Kareem in Airplane Reggie Jackson in Naked Gun And Mike Tyson in The Hangover Along with Dan Marino Those first three are so much better than Marino Well I needed a fourth for Mount Rushmore You've got to be able to do better Jeter and the other guys It's brief, it's a cameo Favre and There's Something About Mary Pretty good Which sets up the Brett Favre joke And Ken Griffey in Little Big League as himself Yeah But there's not a lot of – we've had athletes playing characters or Shaq playing like neon, like stuff like that. But not like – I'm playing myself in this thing. I'm not disrupting the movie. And it's kind of fun that I'm here. I think Marino checks all the boxes. No Space Jam. I can't count Space Jam. I think Space Jam is bad. Well, I also – there's a reason that hasn't been on Rewatchables. I think it's also surprising that Dan Marino is in this movie. Dan Marino's like 32, 33 when they film this So well in his prime Both him and Don Shula It's like how? Why did you say yes to this? It was a big deal that Dan Marino was in this movie With the equivalent of Jim Kelly being in this movie now Because again As we said, no one knew this movie was going to be a thing That's the thing It makes no sense Did Dan Marino read the script and think You know what? It's kind of weird, I like this I'm going to be legitimately in this movie and get kidnapped. I mean, I don't even – the 2026 parallel is like they're making a movie. It's Jim Kelly. Well, no. It would be like they're making a movie with Marcelo Hernandez where Patrick Mahomes gets kidnapped. Yeah. And then instead of Tone Loke, it's like Benson Boone is the side character in it. Like I just – that would never happen. I can't believe they did it. I can't believe he did it, and I love that he's in it. And he was really famous. It was Montana, Moreno, and L.A. were the three QBs for 12 years. those were the guys shula i've forgotten about and it's it's two seconds funny too yeah you think marino's agent was like i think you should do this movie and marino's like the white guy and in living color what happens i get kidnapped did mono this would be good for you dan how much to make out with sean young he's like all right how much more money did jim carrey get than dan marino for their respective work in this movie so if jim carrey got 350 marino probably got at least 50k Or the same amount I can't believe Dan Marino is doing this for like less than $100 Did Isotoner pay for the Marino cameo Ooh Casting what ifs Wow Filmmakers first approached Rick Moranis Who declined I think the entire casting what ifs for Ace Ventura Is in what's age the worst Whoopi Goldberg Yeah they flirted with a pet detective David Alan Greer turned it down Lauren Holley turned down the female lead that went to Courtney Cox Daniel Stern was supposed to direct there's a couple others for Ace Judd Nelson? Judd Nelson I was like that feels like the internet made that up and then Alan Rickman? again I didn't see Craig this is why I decipher it through my shit detector when I read these especially when you go on IMDB when they have the trivia but halfway down it feels like you and I could just type stuff in like Zach Lowe is considered to be Ace Ventura that could just get in now alan rickman did what's the star wars parody that he did that he's fantastic and no alan rickman um oh sorry i thought you're saying uh the space movie where they're making the tv show uh where he's very funny in that movie um tim allen's in it oh um galaxy quest yeah yeah yeah so he had like a little fun side to him but this is like this movie doesn't exist you can't you can't possibly imagine alan rickman in this movie i do believe rick moranis though and i think he was still famous enough that it could have happened uh best that guy so ace's landlord yeah that's it that's the one that is the guy he was sosa's hitman from scarface that tony kills in the car he's also hector solomaco yeah yeah hector solomaco from breaking bad yeah he's the guy in the wheelchair he's funny in this movie i heard the animals scratching around he's he's really he goes for it i heard them animals in there ventura the fat guy The fat cop that heckles Ace is one of those guys, and he was on Seinfeld. He's been – I don't know what that guy's name is. I did his – it's John something. It's a long last name. I did his IMDb because he was going to be my answer for overacting heat check award because every line he delivered, like he steps on the bug. He's like, homicide, Ventura. How are you going to solve that one? Yeah. It's like just so over the top. Damn waiters. Zach says no, damn Reno. It's got to be the mom. Ray Finkel's mom, right? What is the award? Dan Waiter's biggest heat check? I mean... Both great candidates. She commands that house for two minutes. Yeah, that's a great... She's kind of weird looking. I dig her performance of this. It's great. The gonorrhea line kills me. Recasting couch director of City. I wanted more Dolphins. More Miami Dolphins. I just would have appreciated... Maybe they didn't have that many famous dolphins at the time, but I would have put more NFL players in there I like when he chloroforms the guy Just like tackles him to the ground Yeah it a crime It a pretty serious crime The Tone Loke part I do think that would be the one I would really look hard at Yeah. Like if we're going pie in the sky, like that's just Eddie Murphy for two scenes. If we're going realistic, like why not run back one of the In Living Color guys? Like just get Tommy Davidson to be Tone Loke's part. Because Tone Loke was quite famous at the time, right? He had Funky Cold But he had one song Does he have another one? Does he have Wild Thing? He had two or three huge I guess he had Wild Thing too I don't know Nobody's going to the movie to go see Tone Loke No offense to Tone Loke I think the Sean Young character You can recast with 25 different people Sharon Stone Craig you have a flex Okay I created a new category And I figured it was time to introduce this because this happens every movie we do that's in the 80s and 90s. It's the millennial missed reference power ranking. And these are all the things that happen in this movie that when I saw it, and even half of them to this day, it goes right over my head. Hi, Captain Stubing. Howard Gopher and Doc. No idea what that meant. The Crying Game song. No idea what that was. The Captain's log. You know what? I just can't do it, Captain. No idea what that was. For God's sake, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a pool, man. no no idea what that is by the way um he asked for banaca at one point yeah ass does yeah i don't know what banaca is is banaca doesn't exist anymore it's breath spray okay it was big around that time that was a big time for banaca there's a line where ventura says busted out of a mental institute did a claude rains and he's been plotting his revenge for years i don't know what claude rains means i'm not even sure i know what claude who claude rains is i think he was an actor i used to know and my brain forgot um i have exercised the demons it's another it's another big joke that i don't like i think i think that that's that scene is one joke too long and that's the joke which i learned is from poltergeist which i have since seen that this house is clear it's the yeah it's the short lady i hated that that's the hammer they intend that to be the hammer of that sequence and it doesn't ruin it but it taints it a couple more uh just tone look in general didn't know who that was or why he was in that movie look in general uh i had to look it up for the funky colma dana song um tonight on miami vice crockett gets the boss of coffee i didn't know at the time right over my head and then uh lovely party pretty i wasn't invited sean connery didn't know it at the time so there's good category so many things that very good category when you're 14 or whatever i laughed at all of it no idea what any of it meant i mean but i had the same experience in 1994 i didn't what didn't watch star trek the captain steuben line i wouldn't have got it all the pool man line i wouldn't have got it all like a lot of that i at that time despite that i'm fact that i'm much older than a millennial i would not have gotten and you know what i think it makes the case for making cultural references in movies because everybody tries not to do that anymore because it's like oh in five years nobody will get it and i don't think it matters i think if the movie is funny and the character is funny that stuff will age in a fun way like an easter egg kind of way the only time i've really seen it be damaging was wayne's world 2 where it was beyond the cultural references and the whole thing is basically a parody of the movie the doors that you wouldn't know if five years later what was going on if the whole movie is one reference that nobody gets that stuff but i'm with you i one of the reasons i like when people do that that not just because i get all the jokes it does firmly place you in whatever year the movie was made right So if you did it now, somebody would make like a Stranger Things joke or something. It would just like belong to 2026. Yeah, like if somebody was doing something that got a little bloody nose from Stranger Things and they didn't acknowledge it, that would be great. But my daughter would love that. Yes. Pat Fast Center Research. We did a lot of these. One of my favorite things in the research was Jennifer Aniston once told a story about visiting Courtney Cox and bringing a copy of the movie to watch and Courtney Cox refused to watch it. She was apparently embarrassed by it. Again, real-life Dolphins kicker Pete Sojanovich filled in for Sean Young and did the kick and nailed all the takes. So he's got the wig on. They brought Pete Sojanovich and put a wig on. You can kind of tell if you watch it again. Interesting twist wrinkle to this after the movie comes out. Marino, one of his best chances. I can't remember if it was 94 or 95. One of his best chances to make the Super Bowl, probably his last big chance. I think it was for the 95 when the Chargers made it and they lost. They're beating the Chargers 21-6. Chargers come back, take the lead 22-21. The reason I remember this score is because I had wagers on this game. There was no question why you remember the score. Marino gets the ball with 30 seconds left. I think I'm remembering this right. Long pass interference to get into field goal range for Pete Stavanovich, who missed the field goal. ended their season. The curse of Ace Ventura. I do say, when I watch movies that have heartbreaking sports moments in this one, Scott Norwood can never watch this movie. Think about the things that... It's like Crying Game. It's like a parody of the Scott Norwood thing, too. They made it 26 yards, which is like... Gary Anderson... Gary Anderson can never watch this movie. No. Couldn't watch it. Hopefully the Patriots kicker won't have the experience of being scarred by this speaking of i mean dan marino getting abducted right before the super bowl who are they playing the 2025 patriots somebody keep an eye on darnold this week i i do think the the the super bowl it looks like the least the least amount of pageantry the least hyped crowd ever for a super bowl and no one It's really bad. Dan Marino was kidnapped. And no one seems like that concerned, like the Super Bowl is just going on. I had this in nippics. Keep it police. The traffic for the Super Bowl is a fucking nightmare. And even in 1984, it was a nightmare. And they're just like, yeah, let's get him to the game. And he comes back at halftime. And they just announced, like, and Dan Marino's back. And everyone's like, oh, great. It's going to be an exciting half. Apex Mountain. Carry, not yet, but we're close. I think it's after Dumb and Dumber That's it Courtney Cox We're not there yet but we're moving in the vicinity I think it's Scream I think it's Scream and Friends at the same time Dan Marino, no It's the mid 80s for Dan Marino Three straight years leading the league in passing Makes Super Bowl, seems like he's going to be the best Quarterback of all time The Dolphins since their last Title in 1972 I think this is arguably the apex for them the last 30 years. This is it. Like, we were the team in Ace Ventura. What else is as good as happening to them? We don't know if they win the Super Bowl, though, in Ace Ventura. They probably could have slid that into the credit. Did we know the score at halftime? No, no idea. They don't care. They're not interested. Miami movies, no. Pet Detectives, yes. Jim Carrey's 1994, just in general, is just a general apex mountain for comedy actors. Do you think this is the best 1994 Jim Carrey movie? No. I don't. I would go Dumb and Dumber, Ace Ventura, Mask. I agree. But I think if you're talking about a one-year comedy actor year, I think this is probably it. I mean, I can't believe. I don't even particularly like the mask. It's fine. I don't either. The one-two punch of Ace Ventura and Dumb and Dumber is – And the mask just being in the middle, making a shitload of money. I think it made the most out of the three of them. You could just retire after that. AFC Championship rings. I think this is the apex mountain. It's the only time anyone, there was this much dialogue about it. All right. Cruz or Hanks? Hanks, right? It's Hanks. To play Ace Ventura? Yeah. No, a hard disagree. Tom Cruise? Cruise. Oh, my God, Zach. And here's why. I knew the wheels would come off for you. Tom Hanks is like Mr. Americana, wholesome guy. So you didn't see Bachelor Party. 80s Tom Hanks. First of all, how dare you? 80s Tom Hanks could have been Ace Ventura. Hanks can be goofy. Tom Cruise doesn't turn up the goofy. I'm not talking about goofy. I'm talking about in some of the smug, nastier moments of this movie. You can see the seeds of what becomes, not quite the cable guy, but that level of smugness and meanness. I can't believe we haven't discussed the scene. We're going to get to it, I hope. where bam bam bam he hits courtney cox with three of the nastiest insults in a row like rapid fire like that's just okay and like cruise has that little darkness in his arsenal that i just don't think tom hanks has and physicality no no you need some physicality i'm not sweating you guys tom hanks imagine tom hanks making faces and doing these so you can't do it i can't overstate how fucking weird it would be if tom cruise is trying to be ace ventura it just wouldn't work Tom Cruise has only done comedy once in 40 years, and he has to wear a fat suit. He's in a disguise, basically. It's not going to work. None of this is going to work. This is a one-man unicorn performance. Yeah, you're right. But I'm picking Cruise over Hanks if I have to. You got outvoted because we both pick Hanks. Well, you're wrong. Yeah. You lost two to one. Can I quickly do a couple other half-assed internet researches that I found? Yeah. I watched this movie twice in the last two days. On the second watch, there is a scene when Ventura and Einhorn kiss, and they're kind of hanging out in in her office on the desk is a banana with two apples next to it on the desk like a clue yes okay had no idea and then one other thing i thought was cool was that i don't know if either of you had the vhs for this movie but it came with the ace ventura card in the vhs and you could like put it in your wallet so i thought was cool i did have the vhs for this movie and i don't remember that yeah maybe maybe i just didn't notice it or i don't think i got the vhs it's a great idea scorsese or spielberg is it bad i kind of went scorsese yeah i voted scorsese a thousand percent scorsese and i repeat everything i said about why it has to be cruised there's a dark there's a darkness and a smugness to this character that spielberg is just not going to tap into tom cruise hello satan scorsese would make him a cocaine addict and probably really blow it out he's in the miami drug scene he would he would have just he would have straight up murdered the guy with the chloroform. That guy would be dead. Who'd you have for best hang, worst hang? Best hang, I debated between Ray Finkel's mom. Seems like a great time. Get some cookies. Yeah. Hear some stories about Ray. And I just think I would go out for beers after work with Roger Podactor. Just seems like a good guy. Cares about his job. Fun guy to be around. No nonsense. lives in a great penthouse apartment in Miami. I think he deserves a little love. Yeah, he thought Einhorn was into him. I think Zach, like, knowing how Zach operates when he's on these road trips, when he's like, yeah, I'm going with the Toronto, the head scout, he'd be like, yeah, I'm in Miami. Roger Predactor and I are getting drinks. Yeah, Roger Predactor just told me they might trade for Jay Fiedler. I had Rebecca for best tank just because she's cute. Rebecca? I think Ace would be the worst hang. Who the hell is Rebecca? Not Rebecca. What's her name? Melissa? Courtney Connors. Melissa. She's on my list for worst hang. Nah, she's great. Completely uninteresting. What am I going to talk to her about? You don't have to talk. Apparently what I can do is just insult her endlessly, and there's no repercussions at all, which I guess is great hang. My best hang, I'd like to spend a night with Woodstock, the guy who works underneath a concert venue. He's on my list. Hacking whaling fleets. He's on my list. That's probably a fun night with him. These movies always have a guy like that Who's just he's in one scene He's just in some lair doing weird shit I thought you had a challenge for me Ace He's like what are you doing He's like I'm hacking a whaling fleet You're like what I have Ace for worst thing I think after 10 minutes he'd want to put a gun to your head He's like alright Ace I get it I went Einhorn Picky Nitz Who fed Ace's pets all day There's like 20 pets in there and he's gone for long stretches of time. Does he have a pet feeder? Pet walker? Who's walking the dog? He doesn't even particularly seem like a really good pet owner. For how much he loves pets. Yeah. They all are jammed in his apartment. He has no money, so he can't feed them. What does that apartment smell like? Like, you're bringing a girl back there. That thing must smell like a freaking zoo. He kind of had no issue with the fact that that snowflake was a dolphin that they used for show, you know? That wasn't a problem. So was your take Ace Ventura didn't actually like PetStyle? I don't know. It was just a job? I don't know. He clearly felt a connection to him. He found a niche. I'm going to be the only one. That's it. It was an opportunity. Yeah. I had some of the jokes I didn't like and just the Super Bowl. It's like, this is the Super Bowl. I want to know who won the Super Bowl. Did the Dolphins win the Super Bowl? Did Snowflake perform at the Super Bowl? How does Marino do in the second half? I know. Like, who goes to prison for this? How many people go to prison? I had how did they get snowflake to the Super Bowl and also the real final score was San Francisco 38 Miami 16 in the Ray Finkel game. They cheated with that. I would have liked to have known who won this Super Bowl. Yeah. Did the Dolphins prevail? I just had more questions. And I guess this doesn't count, but there's no version of this movie that should not have the Dolphin trainer seen within a scene. The fact that that's not in the movie anymore, no matter where you stream it, is unconscionable. I'm going to say unconscionable. I had a couple. Why was Ray Finkel a replacement kicker if he was so good? He comes in halfway through the season, but then when the Ace does the research on him, two Division I records, he holds the Division I record for most points and longest kick. So if he's so good, why did he get added midseason to the Dolphins? That doesn't make any sense. at the end of the movie the Eagles mascot who Ace punches what he's on the dolphin sideline trying to get Gatorade makes no sense why is he over there infiltrating maybe he's gonna come back with some information no clue there um there's a line at the end of the movie when they're in the warehouse and it's all going down maybe you guys know what's going on Einhorn is talking to Dan Marino and she goes want some refreshments Dan and then she leaves to go get him what why does she leave and that's why jim carrey can bust him out also two two classic uh just old fish goons old fish mobster goons like unnamed just like incompetent at their jobs why did she hire those guys are in like every who are they i don't know why she says it twice want some refreshments dan no idea what that's about and then the last one is just what is einhorn's what is her actual plan so she's a disgrace kicker she goes she goes to a mental institute is like i'm gonna break out quickly rise up the ranks of Miami PD, become a woman, and then eventually kidnap Dan Marino so I can kill him when the Dolphins eventually make the Super Bowl? I mean, can we stop 40% through that question? What about the part that she just became the lieutenant in this police station? Maybe she loves police work. She's just really good at it. But I'm pretty sure it takes longer to become the lieutenant. Like you're starting in the ground. You work your way up. You're an officer for years. Yeah. You become assistant lieutenant, then eventually the lieutenant. Is that the easiest way to get to Dan Marino is I need to become the lieutenant of the Miami PD? See, this is the problem is I don't think they spent more than 20 minutes coming up with the plot for this movie. This is the weak link of the movie. Yeah, you know. Also, you can just get into a very expensive looking mental institution, like show up, act crazy. Do they have any money? How are they going to pay? Is he going to live there? Speaking of the mental institution I had for a picky nit Just finds the right room With all the Lois Einhorn evidence I just sit there in a closet No indication that that would be Why would they hang on to that It's just a door Underrated funny scene is him trying to get into the box Is a great scene Because that guy always comes in At every trope the guy comes in And he's just stuck in the box busting out of it It's great Why was the dolphin this important And would anyone have actually cared I think is important I think I'm going to go with all the Dolphins fans are more excited that their team's in the Super Bowl and has a chance to win for the first time in 22 years. I could see it becoming a scandal. Missing Dolphin. It's a Tuesday Super Bowl story. By Thursday, people are like, who's winning? Who do you got? Who'd you bet on? If the beloved Seahawk was stolen this week, people would probably care. Would they? Probably. Or were they talking about Drake May's shoulder and Belichick getting? By the time people watch this, the Super Bowl have happened. that's right i hope the patriots won um sequel prequel prestige tv all black cast are untouchable they did a sequel and they did some other stuff i think there was a tv animated animated it's impressive i love the sequel as a kid i think ace coming out of the rhino's ass is maybe the funniest moment in any ace ventura and i think it's remarkable that they made another movie that was somehow more offensive than the first one they they ratcheted up they like doubled down Why not? Why wouldn't you? You get through Ace Ventura and you're lauded for it. You're like, well, I guess you could just do anything. And I loved it as a 15-year-old. Legendarily troubled production. I think they might have changed directors at one point. It was one of those. The comedy sequels are always a disaster. All right, so is this movie better with Wayne Jenkins, Fergie the Florist, or a million people? Normally we have Chris Ryan here doing an impersonation. I think this is the perfect time for Zach to answer the question, is this movie better with Tom Thibodeau? I don't know. What would his role be in the movie? I just wanted you to do a Thibodeau in person Ice! Ice! Ace! What the fuck are you doing over here? He could be one of the henchmen at the end Ice! Ice! Just one Oscar who gets it We've already answered this, it's Jim Carrey Come on Probably unanswerable questions, I only have one Do you guys have one for this? I have a couple We've covered most of mine, what do you have Craig? Did Einhorn and the henchmen place a bet on the Eagles? We have to do the bookie. Probably lower stakes. I don't think they're in it for the money. Do you make that bet five months in advance knowing you're going to kidnap Marino? Or even a month in advance? When you make that bet right before you capture Marino, before the line swings, make a lot of money. I don't think they're in it for the money. I have one relating to the game. I think if Dan Marino had gotten kidnapped right before the Super Bowl, I think that's the biggest sports story of all time. I think that's the most interesting thing that ever could have happened at any sporting event is the quarterback, the star quarterback on one of the two teams has been kidnapped. First of all, do they have the game? I don't think you have the game. I think football stops. Postponed. Football stops, right? They're like, is this guy dead? What happened to Dan Marino? We have to find him. Do you think it matters which quarterback it would be? It's like, oh, well, if Mahomes were canceling the Super Bowl. Well, we're canceling this before the new Super Bowl. Yeah. If it was Drake May versus Sam – if Sam Darnold's kidnapped, they're not having the game. Either one. It's like we're holding off until we find Sam Darnold. Right? They're not like, let's have the game anyway. Because then all that would happen is you could just kidnap the best players on other teams and, you know, bet money on the other team before you do it. Yeah. They're stopping the game. It's a Pandora box. And the question is, is if they find him five months later, then what? Do you just have the Super Bowl? Yes. Football is just – when do you resume football? Has this happened in soccer? It must have. A player getting kidnapped? Yeah. That must have happened in one of these European or Latin American soccer leagues. What's the plot of Celtic Pride, which I never saw? Isn't this the plot of Celtic Pride? No, they kidnap someone? They do. We don't acknowledge Celtic Pride. Okay. Yeah. That movie never happened. That's in the never happened movies. Yeah, I do think this is the biggest story, like excluding somebody dying or something. I think this would have been the biggest sports story. What else did you have for an answer, Melissa? Did Einhorn learn the tuck from Buffalo Bill? You think there's some Buffalo? So Buffalo, Silence of the Lambs comes out 1991. I mean, it was a very strategic tuck. She kind of maneuvered that. I think it is a little Silence of the Lambs. It's probably like an homage Also in that scene when he exposes Her chest and sees that she has boobs and he goes That kind of work, that kind of surgery Can be done over the weekend But it's not Overnight, something about the word Weekend and the way he says it Is why that's funny Acknowledging that there is a little bit of work He's like that kind of work can be done over the weekend What piece of memorabilia Would you want from the movie Zach? Or not want? I went want the obvious one would be one of the rings it would be Ray Finkel's ring with the one stone miss I think that's the highest that's selling for the most in an auction I would like one of the Die Dan Die crocheted coasters or whatever that Grandma Finkel made, one of those or the notebook that has just laces out scrawled all over it I have the ring or any of the 90s dolphins I have the ring but I'll tell you it did catch my eye at the Collier County home to Ray Stinkle sign. It's a Ray Finkel and they turn into the Stinkle. It's a really, if you actually look at that sign, it's really cool. That could be right there. Yeah, I thought about it. It's big. It looks like it would take up like... Can you buy it? Is it on eBay? I mean, they probably threw it away, right? I don't know. It's a really cool sign, though. I don't know if this counts, but you could make it, but the mannequin with the Marino jersey and the knife in the heart. Yeah, yeah. Standing right here. Coach Finstock, Mr. Margie Award for best or worst life lesson. Laces out? Yeah, laces out. I think it's you can be worst life lesson. You can be an absolute dick to this beautiful woman and still end up with her in the end. I can't believe we haven't talked about the machine gun of... Just how courting was in the early 90s. Have you ever heard of negging? You ever heard of negging? Yeah, and you're ugly. Why don't you cry about it? Saddlebags and then throwing out fatty right after that. like she's like i love this guy what's happening right now seconds later her best friend dies she's like i'm in on this guy uh best double feature choice i had there's something about mary because i get to stay in miami it's a different kind of later 90s comedy different actors and you get farf i get farf i get both football quarterbacks i went dumb and dumber i also went dumb and dumber which is just brilliant movie then who won the movie jim carrey was the laces out thing known before this movie the scott norwood kick was the the laces out thing known at that time i don't ever remember that the holder screwed up the kick i don't even know the hold is it a real thing yeah apparently people defend norwood and say that the laces were facing sideways and it's why it pushed right i never know what to believe because they're always like he missed that because of the high snap and then half the time guys make it when it's a high snap so this movie was the first time you had heard of like the idea of the laces being positioned in any direction that was totally i was totally unaware of it and i feel like i haven't heard it since other than references to ace ventura mcathee has defended this saying this is totally real the laces do need to be out because the the laces are the softest part of the football so if you kick that it compresses the most and can like wobble so i don't know interesting yeah and i which it's incredibly impressive that the holders apparently like even the way the ball is snapped is designed so that the laces land in the holder's hands laces out and then it's their job to quickly adjust if it's if it's in the wrong direction by even a couple degrees so that it's completely you know 180 away from the kicker's foot this is normally the part of the podcast when we go to producer craig for his reaction but he's one of the hosts today so we don't need to do that but we can thank Gahal. We can thank Eduardo. Zach Lowe, your first rewatchable is under your belt. How do you feel? I feel good. I feel like I submitted a list of 10 to 12 movies and you picked the silliest one by an exponential degree. I just want to put it out there. I also had Dog Day Afternoon. Who's on my list? I ran the gamut. This is just saying. He's on Netflix and on Spotify. You're on Netflix and on Spotify. Ringer Fantasy Football Show. The Zach Lowe Show. I got the Bill Simmons Podcast. We're back with rewatchables next week with another movie that we're going to try to pick that's on Netflix. And I do want to remind people that Eddie and the cruisers is now available to be purchased or rented. If you ever want to know, because we're going to do Eddie and the cruisers at some point. It's finally out. I know you're excited. Yeah. I don't know anything about that movie. This is the first. This has only been a couple of times in rewatchables history where we've bitched and moaned about a movie not being available. And then it actually happened. Pump up the volume. Yeah. We just did the episode And then all of a sudden it magically appeared In the streamers The next one is Revenge of the Nerds You cannot find Kiss of Death Irreconcilable Differences We talked about Sure thing not really available They're mostly from the 80s and 90s So hopefully we'll have some more Zach Lowe, a true pleasure Craig Coralbeck, great to see you Thanks for coming on We'll see you next time.