Episode 361: Can I be Friends with my Ex?

Thanks for tuning in to Becoming Something, where we promise to keep the conversation honest and real for young adults in their 20s and 30s. Every moment we live is training for a future moment, and that's why we do this podcast, because we want you to be prepared for everything that life is going to throw at you. Our hope with this podcast is that it would help you become all that God desires you to be. So with that in mind, let's jump right in to this week's episode of Becoming Something. What's up, Podcast World? It's your boy JP in the podcast studio with Kathy and Nate Dogg. Hi! What's up, JP? How are we doing? What's up, Kathy? How are you guys doing? So great. Did you get a new ring? No, it's the same ring. I just accidentally took it off. He likes to play with it. Yeah. I have really grown. I haven't noticed that. You have gotten better at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that the ring that you lost in John Green's truck? It's the ring I lost for like five years and then found it. Did you get a replacement in the five years? Yes. I went to get a replacement and they were like, it was like, they're like, hey, it'll be $600. I'm like, no, thank you. Nope. So I went to Dick's Sporting Goods and would buy these like rubber ones and I would, I'd break them every couple months. Because you'd play with them. Because I'd play with them. I do the same thing so I can't. So I'm like I probably spent $600 Anyway On the rubber ones What's up Kathy Hi I'm doing great Happy to be here how are y'all Happy to be here as well Kathy I feel so much closer to you than her Since we're together every Monday now Yeah rude you promote him to E-team You leave me in the dust You just don't even work here Like truly So many people are confused You're like five hours a week? For sure no, bro. I'm literally running a ministry. Can I ask you a question? That's like... Lots going on. You can ask me anything, Nate. If she... So today we have a staff meeting. She was bragging again. It's like I'm just... I bragged? Yeah, yeah, for sure. If she chat GPT'd her little Bible study thing, is that like a moral issue or not? That's funny. Somebody literally just asked me this. We should do a podcast on that. We should. I did not chat GPT it. So you chat GPT'd your whole message? I did not. Hey, honest youth pastor, come after her. Here she is. I did what you have said you've done. You can't write to a Bible study in two days without chat GPT. It was a week and a half. And I did use it. I said, what are some cross references for this chapter? You've done the same thing. I don't use chat GPT because I'm a Christian. No, you have literally told me you do this in messages. Like, give me the verses where this is said. Okay, well then don't even bring it up Give me the verses No, yeah, I'll be like, hey, I'm teaching this What other scripture speaks into this Yes, literally what I have I use Chachibiti all the time I was like, you probably use it way more I mean, you just have to know it hallucinates I mean, it hallucinates Have you not seen that? Like, there's a meme right now Where it's, is this mushroom poisonous? And it's like, no, it's not poisonous and the next thing he's sick and dead he's like sick in bed and he goes you're right it is poisonous do you want to hear more about poisonous mushrooms and it's like that's what chat GPT does sometimes that's happening with snakes because I like for whatever reason we've had snakes around our house and so I'll take a picture of it ask chat GPT and they're like it's going to kill you I text JP and he's like don't worry about it and then I'm like is it this and it's like oh you're right it is that yeah it'll do that so I think it's like but like So you have to use it with discernment. And people get really fired up about this. Like, no, you can't. It's the devil. And I'm like, you have to use it with discernment. If I Google, what's the best hotel in Colorado? Or, okay, more specific, what's the best Bible verse to give to somebody when they're mourning? Yeah. Okay. Can you Google that? Is that okay? And somebody could say, well, you need to know that. You're a pastor. Okay, but can somebody who's not a pastor, you know, and they're growing, maybe they're a brand new Christian. Can they Google what's the best Bible verse for someone who's grieving? And if it gives them Romans 828, which, you know what, I'm going to argue not the best Bible verse for someone who's grieving. You know, they should read that Bible verse. They say, you know what, Google, I disagree with you. I don't think this is the best Bible verse. And so can you use ChatGPT in that way? Hey, what are these? I see, use it as a resource, not the resource. It's not, it should not write your message. I don't think it should. I think you should increase prayer, not decrease prayer. Like pray more, you know, not less. Like, hey, Lord, do I, do I, I'm in the spiritual warfare guy. Like, do I think demons are behind AI? Yes. Do I think God can use AI? Yes. I mean, even that, like people came after me recently because they were like, he said God's behind AI. I'm like, God can use, listen, God's sovereign. He can use anything. And Satan is 2 Corinthians 4, verse 4, the lowercase g, God of this world. He also can use things of this world. So you have to be wise and discerning. What about this? I've had young adults ask me this. They're like, hey, I'm going on a date with this girl. I asked Chachipiti what are the questions to ask on first date and second date. Like, would you do that or no? I mean, you can use, I think you can use chat GPT for anything that's not sin. I don't think that, I don't think as a believer, you can say, I cannot use chat GPT. I would view it similarly to not exactly like, but similarly to Google. So if you use Google for anything, I think you can use chat GPT. And in fact, I think in some things, for example, like non theological things, chat GPT is going to be more helpful than Google. it operates as a powerful thesaurus if you're like hey I need another word that starts with an S I mean it's amazing in that way that has been so helpful have you done like rewrite my points so that they all start with this I want to stay in this vein I want to stay in this vein of this so yes so I think you can say hey what's a word that rhymes with it's going to be very helpful there if somebody's like you shouldn't use it in that way I'm like man I respectfully disagree strongly okay so if someone says hey what are great questions to ask on a first date I mean look at I don't think you should I don't think you should take those questions not look at them get on the first date and then read them I think you should read those questions change them see if there's a one that's helpful it's a thought it's a thought partner it's like a tool in that way. So that I don't, I'm like, what am I missing? I don't understand. I do think our tendency to want to Google and chat GPT, everything sometimes takes away like. For sure. Our brain power. Like God gave us brains. Yeah, totally. Like ask God first. Not takes away the Holy Spirit, but I think it takes away the process. Yeah. The reliance on the Holy Spirit. Cause I'm like, why not ask God first? Why not, you know, think about it yourself and then use it as a, secondary or a third resource rather than the first. Literally just had this conversation with a pastor. And so maybe this is controversy, but I'm like, I wouldn't even ask ChatGPT until you pray, Lord, I'm asking you first and foremost, I'm listening. Yes. Okay, now I've got some ideas. I'm going to use this resource. God, would you even help that? I mean, God is sovereign. He works on all things. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. We live in crazy times. I did write it, yes I hope you make a lot of money off it There's no money to be made off of it Oh, the curriculum? It was beautiful, too I loved it Way to go I thought it was really great I mean, except for page six I'm very scared to see a typo in it Alright, we have a question We do have a question And I'm very intrigued to hear your thoughts Okay Both ears Hey guys My name is Rebecca What up Rebecca I calling with a question about dating Ah who would thought So when you break up with someone how do you navigate being friends afterwards Is that something you can do righteously? I wrestle with honoring my future spouse well and wanting to have those boundaries, but also wanting to stray away from the majority of people that I see and conversate with that are like, no, you can't be friends at all. When I think about Christ's heart towards whoever your ex is, that would be something that he would love them well. And so like, what should those boundaries look like? Is that something you can do? Is that different for every person based off of the emotional capacity? Like, what do you guys think about all of that? It's something I find myself wrestling with every time I have a breakup since I came to know the Lord when I was 16. And I'm 22 now. So, yeah, thanks for considering my question. Yeah, Rebecca, of course. Thanks for asking such a great question. So thoughtful. That struggle is real. So many people. That's a big Friday Q&A question. Yeah. I mean, every Friday, can I be friends with my ex? Can I be friends with my ex? Can I be friends with my ex? Or it's also like, hey, we got together. We broke up. He worked on his porn struggle or she's growing through this. Can we get back together? So interesting when they ask you that because it's like you don't know the specifics. in their situation. You're like, I don't know if you should get back together. But like I hear the heart behind what she's asking for. I think it's so righteous. I think it highlights a bigger issue too of just like, it depends on how you dated. Yes. Totally depends on how you dated. And it depends on what you mean by the word friends. And relevant to our conversation this morning, it's like what's going on in your heart? You have to audit your heart too and just like, man, how is my heart? Like if you're in this place of like, man, I cannot get over them. I cannot get over them. And it's probably not going to be beneficial to go bowling in a friend group you know yeah so yeah i think like her saying jesus would love them well for sure and we want to love them well let's say you're the girl that broke up with the guy loving them well isn't every time you see them go give them a huge hug and be like oh you're you're so great blah blah blah blah that's confusing totally loving them well could be hey i'm not going to send confusing messages being like hey i broke up with you and yet let's hang out together with friends on friday night so space can be loving them well totally i just i think we get this dating thing so wrong i'm like i'm that's my i've never heard you say that before i think we date like we're married our heart wasn't made for that our heart was not made to get into a relationship like we're married and then to go through a breakup it's like the breakup is the equivalent of the divorce in so many cases and it's just like that's not what we were made for like dating and you know it's it's i've been thinking a lot about this because like in the in the 50s and prior to it's like people would sleep in separate beds and there was just like a real modesty that marked marriage and by modesty i mean like a um like a restraint you know where i think today we like that we are less modest towards even people we're not married to if that makes sense when i say modesty i'm not talking about just clothes it's like the way that we act toward, like affections. We've brought down all of those walls. There's really no restraints. A lot of the restraints are removed. And then even more so in marriage, you're just walking around the house naked or going to the bathroom with the door open or whatever you're doing. And I wonder if we were made for even that, if there's wisdom in... When Monica and I went through premarital counseling, the guy recommended maintaining restraints there. and I just think we have made dating like marriage and we've made marriage less than what it was intended to be. But I think even if you're just going on dates or talking to someone for two months, you're not having sex with them. Like your heart just gets to a spot where it's like, oh, I'm so excited about this. Girls before they even go on the first date are putting their first name with his last name. Right. Yeah, what do you think you're doing there? What's the purpose of that two months? Oh, crickets. Evaluating if they would be a good husband. Yeah, it's like you have to have something. You're really like, I think in the ideal, you're making sure there's not major disqualifiers. Totally. So you kind of go on that first date with some level of confidence that this person would be a great wife or a great husband, a great mom to my children or a great father to my children. So you kind of like, you have some level of confidence there. And then you're spending time together to see if that confidence grows or decreases. And I think we get so stuck in the fence of how do I feel? How do I feel? How do I feel? And then that sets us up for failure in marriage because all of our expectations are rooted in our feelings. And I, I'm, I think they have a place, you know, I think they have a place. God made us feeling, God made us to feel, he made us emotional beings. It's just not first place where we keep him. That that's my problem. And so can you be friends with someone after you've dated them? It really depends on their feelings and your feelings. And I think you can talk through all of that, like reasonable adults and just say, Hey, what are the, okay, let's, let's just talk through what the future looks like. If, because so often you do the right thing where you date in your friend group and then breaking up feels like you're breaking up with a friend group or the friend group is awkward. It's like, Oh, we can't invite John because you know, Jennifer's going to be there and it's going to be awkward if John and Jennifer are both there. And so do we want John to be there more or Jennifer to be there more? And it's just, it can be so difficult. And there's nothing, listen, there's nothing else you can do other than talk through that. You know, but that's awkward and hard. And I don't want, it's like, no, you just have to, you just have to say, okay, guys, here's the deal. Here's the ground rules. Here's where we want to get. We're not there right now. You know, my strategy, friends, like, strategy's as simple as knowing where you want to be, knowing where you're at, formulating a plan to get there. And I mean, I think scriptures that can inform that, Proverbs 4.23, above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Romans 12, love must be sincere. Whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all to the glory of God. Like, you're just being mindful of these things. consider others more important than yourselves. And so wherever you can limit your liberty for the purpose of loving someone else, you can do that. Knowing you may miss out on really good times and your ex may get to experience those good times and that's okay. You know, you're seeking to serve them well. Guys, nearly 900 people have signed up for Be So Live coming up, coming fast, which means there's only a few tickets left. April 24th, 25th in Waco, Texas. We got a lot of questions recently. Hey, can I come alone? Is that weird? There's all sorts of people coming alone. You're about to make friends. Lifelong friends. Like when we were going to be in your wedding. That's true. Yes. We've had people come, and now they vacation together every year. They're from all over the country. And it's like their reunion. We love what we do. It's the greatest thing. And we want to meet you. We can't wait to meet you guys. So let's hang out. That's what Be So Live is. You guys come. You tell us what to talk about. And we want to hang out with you. BecomingSomething.com. Get your tickets. Join us. We'd love to see you there. Let's go. Your heart and emotions can do like silly and even like sinful things after a breakup where I've seen young adults be like, not only am I not going to be friends with them, but my friends, you can't be friends with them. And you can't date them ever. And Suzy, I saw Suzy, she was at the party when he was at. I can't believe it. People claim them like they're, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. That's tough, man. Where, yeah, you're just like wanting more division. And I think prior to all of that craziness is you probably dated poorly. Yeah, for sure. and you handed your heart over on a platter and it's just like, oh man, don't, like, be careful. Like, pay attention to what you pay attention to. Be careful of where you let your heart go because it's going to lead you places. Be careful what you feed your heart. We feed our heart, that whole Proverbs 4.23 where it says guard your heart. The next verses really talk about how we feed our heart and we feed our heart with our thoughts. You know, we feed our heart from our brain. And so really when you're trying to change your feelings Like let's say you're getting over a breakup You're like I still really like this person But I don't want to It's like okay well then be careful what you think As you're driving down the road Because if you stay Like some people say time heals all wounds I was like well it depends on how you spend the time Because if you spend the time Continuing to live in the past On the date with them or in dating them or you spend the time feeding bitterness toward them then you not going to grow forgiveness You're not going to grow healing. You're not going to grow moving forward. And so you have to spend the time asking God for blessing upon them and to help your heart move forward and not just dwell in the past. That's good. I also think like the person who was broken up with or the person who like wasn't their idea, maybe they get the louder vote in what the friendship looks like afterwards. I think there's wisdom there. Because I'm like, there was a guy I kind of sort of had a, I don't know, a thing with. And then he was like, God told me not to date, which I respect. But then we like continue. Oh, we do not respect that. I really, I try to. We do not respect that God told me to. Because here's what happened. Even if God did, I don't think you have to say that. Yeah. because there's, there's the, you might be wrong. And it led to a lot of confusion because then we just basically kept up the friendship. And in my heart, I'm like, well, maybe God will tell him in a few months we can date again. So I just kept putting myself around him. He thought he had brought clarity or like we were done. And I'm like, bro, every time I see you and you're nice to me and we hang out, I'm feeding this thing that like, maybe one day God will tell you we can get back together and we can date. And so it's literally a whole year of confusion on my end and like wasted space. And all that was, honestly, is selfishness from that guy because he didn't want to say, hey, I don't want to date you. Yeah, I just don't want to date you. And that stole a year of your life being like, maybe you'll come around, maybe you'll come around. What do you wish he would have said? Just because he didn't want to say the hurt thing. I don't know because I'm like, man, there are some, I don't know. I guess the truth of like, I don't want to date right now or I don't think I see a future with you. I don't find you attractive. Well, that would have hurt. Oh, my goodness. Wait, that wouldn't have hurt you guys if someone told you that? Yeah, I don't find you attractive? Yeah. No, for sure. Okay, so why don't you respond like that? No, because I'm like, don't say that. Oh, yeah. I'm like, don't say that. Well, don't say that, but say what is true without saying the hurtful part. I think what is loving is to say, hey, I don't want to date you, and I don't see a future. Yes. Why? Oh, because what he said was, I don't think God wants us, or he said, I don't think God wants me to date you right now. For sure. use some version of right now so we literally just created hope he blamed God you're kind of left with I have to be the bad guy in young adult ministry all the time all the time because I'm like here's what you need to know the faster you can move on the better your life is going to be they don't want to date you so you say hey oh yeah Kathy and you're Kathy in college a lot of energy okay yeah i got it hold on let me get it uh i don't even want to do that i don't even want to do that hey hey kathy thank you so much i i uh i've enjoyed parts of this me too i'm so excited i'm sorry i was looking at wedding dresses yesterday yeah yeah um i think it's gonna be amazing you're gonna be the best dad you're gonna be the best Yeah, I'm going to be the best dad with someone else because I don't want to hurt you, but I also want to be honest with you. Okay, well then please do not hurt me. I don't want to continue going on dates. I don't want to continue talking. I don't see a future of us. I would not want to make you sad. We can't talk? No, because I don't see a future. I'm going to. Are you breaking up with me? I'm breaking up with you. Why? Yeah. Do you want to know? Yes. Yes, I want to know. That's why I'm asking why. You have very bad habits. You better be careful bro What you say right now What Why are you saying bad habits You stink girl I know I'm so sweaty right now That's so bad What do you say there then Why I just want to know why Maybe girls shouldn't ask the why Like if they've been kind to say I don't see a future with you unless you want to risk being hurt. Okay, listen. Does everyone have to find you attractive? No, but if you want that person to find you attractive. That can put you in a tailspin. I think you can say, attraction is a weird thing. I think it's like, hey, I'm not even sure I know. I just don't feel the things. I don't see it going somewhere. You know, I mean, you just have to, you have to share the truth. I think the truth is always good enough. I mean, I do. I think the truth is always good enough. Can you say I have, I don't, I haven't enjoyed dates? Yeah. Yeah. Listen, I mean, and here's the deal. And somebody's going to, like, I don't, I don't want to waste your time anymore because there's somebody that's going to be like, somebody is really going to enjoy being with you and and be able to cherish you and love you and care for you and and I'm I'm not I'm not the one I'm not there I I can't do that and so yeah like you deserve someone who's gonna like want to prioritize this and I don't know that reframing it in that way versus like you're not good enough for me yeah she's already gonna feel that not but not not good enough for me like that's I want to Like no one should say that. You're not good enough for me. That's not just going to interpret what you're saying though. And I don't think, I don't think we're in charge of making sure everyone interprets everything correctly. But I think you, you want to be clear into the point. I think you're saying, Hey, this is the end of our relationship. And I do think we need to start thinking about, you know, what it's going to look like to see each other in the future. Cause we're going to be around. I just want you to know, I care about you. I want, I want the very best for you. If you have questions for me, I want to answer those questions. Honestly, there's things that I'm still working through. I don't know. It can be an honest answer. Or even like I do enjoy time with you as a friend, so I'm happy to continue that, but I don't want to mislead you or confuse you. The thought of kissing you makes me want to vomit. Yeah, obviously I find you repulsive. But you're a good hang. That's what he probably should have said. I mean, the why question is like if you're going to ask why, You got to be ready to be heard. Well, I think it's helpful. I tell guys to, by the way, because a lot of times like young women are like, he wasn't kind or he wasn't compassionate. He wasn't chivalrous or he didn't do this. And it's like, hey, help him. Like say, hey, this is where I think you could grow. And if I'm saying that advice there, it can go both ways, I think. And I don't think the goal is like, again, how you date really matters. and we want to be kind. The scripture calls us to be full of truth and full of grace. So what we say must be truthful, but it also needs to be kind. And those are not mutually exclusive. You can say the truth in a kind way. So what would you do if you got broken up with and that girl goes to that young adult ministry, the college ministry, you pull up, you see her there, and you're like, I can't stand her. She is the worst. Well, that's my issue. If I'm like, hey, this person that I chose to spend a lot of time with, it's like I'm choosing who I'm going to date, and I choose you, and we're going to spend time exclusively together so that I can determine if you're going to be my wife. And then when you decide, hey, I don't want to be your wife, I go, oh, I can't stand you. That's a maturity issue. That's my issue. I have a real heart problem there that I've got to work out. And then if I begin to see her with somebody else and it hurts, it's like, again, I need to stop and say, wow, I allowed my heart to go too far there I allowed my heart to progress beyond what reality was because I going through a divorce right now I going through a I really broken hearted right now And there's a lot of people that do this for somebody they never even dated. Yes. I mean, I've talked and counseled people through the years that are going through a breakup with somebody who didn't even know they existed. I mean, they never talked on the phone. They never spent intentional one-on-one time together. and they were in their head had the pinterest you know marriage board or whatever it is like it happens and it's really sad guys you got to be mindful and like we're all a product of our upbringing and our traumas and the you know the things that have happened to us we're all different you know on the emotional spectrum uh our emotional quotients in different places and we want to be mindful of like where we're at on that and what are our proclivities towards sin in those ways or proclivities towards maybe not even sin, just like vulnerabilities, you know, just being in a place where we could get hurt and be mindful. And again, as we talk through these things, it's okay to be clumsy. It's okay to say, I don't know, but I think you want to be kind and say, hey, this is the end. And we need to be mindful now of what, you know, seeing each other in the future looks like and if i ever hurt you like you're welcome to reach out and if you get in another relationship i'm gonna i want to respect that person i don't want to cross you know boundaries there that's another thing like people ask a lot of weird questions there is like hey can i still be friends with my ex i mean married you know they're married folks are like really you know hey my ex is my best friend i'm like that's weird don't do that yeah that's fine yeah i think i think that could only i don't i don't know i think that's only uh only a bad idea yeah you want to start with like, so you got Nate's opinion and JP's opinion, catchy opinion. What is God's opinion? Like what is his desire? Go to the scriptures, you know, use that as, as a authority, a conscience, a guide, let the Holy spirit use the scriptures to shape your path and, and to really speak into this and this dating thing. It's, it's a really, it's a, it's a man-made construct. It doesn't show up anywhere in the scriptures. And so we just have to pull in other, which is treat them as a brother or a sister. They're not the enemy. And if you're broken up with, they're not your wife or husband. To love God is to love his children. And I'm like, this is where this isn't one size fits all advice. Because like you said, we don't know how you dated. We don't know what the breakup was like. We don't know who still has feelings for who. There's so much that we can't really speak into other than suggest and encourage. Protect your heart and do your best to protect the other person's heart. Communicate. That's what I hear you saying. And also pray about it. Seek the scriptures and ask your people, like the people who do know you, the people who witness the relationship, your life group, your community group. Hey, what's wisdom here as we move forward? Because what you want them to say is, oh, you should still, you know, like you can be around them and all this, but get friends who will tell you the truth and help you heal and move forward. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's good. Any other scriptures that shape that? I mean, you're talking about 1 Timothy says, treat them like a sister or brother. That kind of defines the relationship. Man, if you break up, there may be things you need to own to confess and say, I'm so sorry. Like, I missed this. If you led them on, you know, if you were a part of their heart progressing beyond reality, and now you're just going to drop the bomb that it's over. It's like, man, you need to be sorrowful there. For sure. Don't ghost them. Like, don't just withdraw. Like, that's not kind. If someone does ghost you, like, consider that a kindness from God that they're showing you that, hey, that they're a bad, there would be a bad spouse. What, because this, the ghosting thing is very real. Just recent conversations about it. What is the, what's the problem with ghosting? Like, if someone reached out to me or trying to. It's childish. I mean, it's like. But that conversation would be hard. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, when I was a child, I thought like a child. I walked like a child or reason like a child. But when I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. That verse shows up in 1 Corinthians 13, which is the chapter on love. Love is patient. Love is kind. It keeps no records of wrongs. Jesus is asked, what's the greatest of the laws? What's the greatest of the commands? He says, the love of the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. And the second is like it. Love your neighbor as yourself. Love is the basis of what it means to be a Christian. If you ghost someone, I'm not going to tell you that you're a nonbeliever headed for hell, but I am going to tell you, you are not acting foundationally as a follower of Christ. There's no chance that Christ is leading you to ghost someone. And to define the terms, what I mean by ghosting someone is you're talking to them one minute and it's going well, and then you just stop talking to them with no explanation. That's not a kindness. God's not leading you to do that. When I say go to someone, I'm not talking about you saying, hey, I no longer want to talk or I'm in a relationship now, we can't text anymore, and then them continuing to blow through those boundaries. At that point, it's like... But shouldn't they get the picture versus me having to make a phone call, which sounds awful? Yeah, well, the Christian life is actually easy. It's the broad road. Everyone is able to walk it. It almost seems like you're saying if something's hard, it's not worth doing. And we're actually called to do lots of hard things. And even like resolving conflict, like the Bible gives us a path to resolve conflict. So there's all kinds of difficult conversations in front of us we have to have. How are you going to learn to have those conversations? And some of the most difficult, impossible people, some of them are literally mentally ill, and that's not a stretch, because they've been avoiding difficult conversations their entire life. They've just been having them in their heads rather with another person. And they get to a place where they're quite literally dysfunctional. They're a dysfunctional human being because they never learn to have hard conversations. So I think this is a path of ghosting. It's going to lead to all kinds of terrible outcomes. If that's what we continue to lean on. It just doesn't make it go away. Like, I just would rather have the conversation and move on. It's so unloving. Like, I mean, this isn't a relationship, but I was selling something on Facebook Marketplace. And, you know, the person says, hey, I'm coming at this time, but I'm driving from here. Right. You know, and so then my family's like, hey, we're going to go to dinner. And I'm like, hey, I can't go to dinner because I'm waiting on this person because they're driving from San Antonio. For sure. And then they don't show, and then I text, and then I don't hear anything back. And then it's like, oh, I'm so sorry, something came up. Oh, something came up is wild, man. That and the God card. Don't say it anymore, people. Yeah, your reputation, you know, the scripture talks about a good name. You know, you're earning a reputation. And so you need to know that. Like, that's happening. It's not like there are no actions without consequences. And so just be mindful how you treat people because God says to love him is to love his children. He says this repeatedly all through John's letters, 1 John, 2 John, 3 John, 4 John. So 3 John. There is no 4. So, yeah, I would just be mindful. You got to go. Tell them to get out of here. We love you guys. I hope that's helpful. Bye. Thanks for tuning in to Becoming Something, where we promise to keep the conversation honest and real for young adults in their 20s and 30s. Every moment we live is training for a future moment, and that's why we do this podcast, because we want you to be prepared for everything that life is going to throw at you. Our hope with this podcast is that it would help you become all that God desires you to be. To find out more, visit becomingsomething.com.