1428 - Swinging Then, Swinging Now: Suzanne is Still Going Strong in Her 60’s?!

Thank you all so much for being here at our wedding. I can't believe I get to spend the rest of my life with a woman of my dreams. Speaking of dreams, have you ever dreamed of tasting all the colours of the rainbow? Because that is exactly what you get with Skittles. Five bold fruit flavours in every pack. Lemon, orange, lime, strawberry and blackcurrant. They're chewy, they're colourful, they're perfect. Just like my wife. So thank you for coming and remember to buy Skittles. Shamelessly promote the rainbow, taste the rainbow. If you want to be on the show, it's called Strictly Anonymous because I change everybody's voices and everyone's name. So if you have an interesting naughty secret life or even just regular, not-so-naughty life that you want to talk about while remaining anonymous or not anonymous, if you're out and proud, that's cool too, you can be on the show. I also look for like health related stories now. I have a sexual health Saturdays. So if you have any kind of interesting health story, I love stuff like that health and fitness story, you could send me an email at StrictlyAnonymousPodcast at gmail.com or just go to my website, StrictlyAnonymousPodcast.com and click on be on the show. If you have a naughty confession that you want to leave on my Confessions hotline, you could do that 24-7, the number's 347-420-3579. That's 347-420-3579. Some of those confessions make it onto a Confessions episode and I talk about them, the rest of them all go up on my Patreon. My Patreon is a great place. Listen, if you're annoyed with these beginning intros and you don't want to hear f-ing ads and you want to see hot picks of all the females who have called into my show, plus take part in all of the polls and questions and contests we have over on my Patreon, join my Patreon for just $7 a month. That's like super cheap. I also throw in a complimentary link to my private Discord. My Discord is great. We're having the annual Dick Pick Contest coming up in April. So you want to join so you could take part in the infamous Dick Pick Contest. Last year, we did the Dick Pick Contest. We got like 250 Dick Picks. Okay, winner is going to get 300 bucks. Okay, so if you want to join that, you got to get into my Discord. I do throw in complimentary access to my private Discord. If you join my Patreon, like I said, it's just $7 a month and you could cancel it anytime or you could buy my book. I have a book. It's called Strictly Non-Missed Confessions, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. Now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out till August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. Told in the third person. They're quick short stories. Think like Penthouse Forum letters or naughty true stories all in one book. If you get my book on Amazon or wherever you buy books, you could get it. Send me a screenshot of your order and I'll also give you complimentary access to my private Discord. My Discord is f-ing great. That's where you could go in and post your own stuff. My Discord is super fun. People get very naughty on there. We have lots of contests, tons of different channels with all kinds of content, but it is private and I only give links to either my guests. If you call into the show, you get a link to my Discord or get my book or join my Patreon. You get it from all that. Last thing I want to tell you about is if you are looking to get into the lifestyle, the site I recommend to everybody is SDC.com. SDC.com is like the world's largest online adult dating site, but it's so much more than a dating site. It's more than a pickup place. Okay. You go on there. You're going to learn everything about the lifestyle. They have live events. They have educational stuff that you could learn on there. They also will tell you where all the gang bangs and swinger clubs and orgies and parties that are going on in your area and your neighborhood or if you're traveling, you can find out what's going on there too. That's what's great about SDC. It's like a one-stop shop for the lifestyle. And if you use my code 3771, you're going to get a free trial so you could check it out. So go to SDC.com, use code 3771, or just go to the description and click on the link. All the links, everything I told you about including my Patreon is in the description. Okay. Today I have on Suzanne Noble. I was on her show. She has a show called Sex Advice for Seniors. I went on her show to talk about my book and then, you know, she's sort of revealing things about herself. She's been there, done that with a lot of things that we talk about on my show. It's like, oh, you need to come on my show and tell your whole story. Like I said, she has her podcast, Sex Advice for Seniors. She's still going at it strong. She's got, she has a lot of sex and she's kind of been there, done that everything. She talks about how she started out in a vanilla marriage and then she met a guy out out of that marriage that was in the swinger world and got involved in threesomes and swinger clubs and resorts and all this kind of good stuff. And then she was in that world for a while. Then she got out of it. Then she went back into it and she talks about her whole effing journey, everything she experienced, all the places she experienced the things with, like all the clubs and swinger clubs and swinger parties and resorts that she sort of attended were all over the world. She talks about that. She's super interesting person. Like I said, she's been there, done that. She's come full circle. She's kind of just, you know, traveling and screwing whoever she wants. She does talk about how sex is very different at her age and how she gets herself into it and what she's into now and what she's was into in the past, how it's different, but she's still going at it strong. I mean, this is still a very sexual woman, but she talks about how she keeps in touch with that part of herself being a senior. So it's a super interesting episode. So anyway, I'm going to be right back on with Suzanne. Hi, Suzanne. Welcome to the Strictly Anonymous podcast. How are you today? I'm good. I'm really good. I've just come back from having a couple of drinks with a friend of mine who turned out to be in Vietnam. Just like me. I guess that was pretty wacky. Yeah. You're one of those wanderers, like those Americans that did what we all think about when we're like really stressed out. We're like, I'm just going to get moved to another country and just like get away from it all. I mean, you did. You're like in fucking Vietnam. I think, you know, you do have a podcast. I was on your podcast. That's how I found out about you and you're going to be on my podcast. Your podcast is called Sex Advice for Seniors. You are in that phase of your life, but I feel like from the sound of stuff that you told me about when I was on your show that you're having a lot of fun, you know, and you're giving sex advice to seniors because you're having a lot of sex yourself and have been very open-minded. And so I'm like, I need to get your life story. You know. Yeah, for sure. Although I got ditched by an Italian guy tonight. Well, yeah, actually it was yesterday and then I figured he was going to ditch me tonight. So I made, I made other plans, which is of course what you do when you're in your sixties is you don't rely on the fact that, you know, somebody says. Yeah, you're just like, yeah, this 43 year old hot Italian is, you know, probably just messing me around. Oh my God. But wait, let's go all the way back to Suzanne. First of all, have you ever been married or were you ever or you've always been single? Like what's your deal, your backstory? So like many people of my age, I was married. I got married when I was 28 or something years old and I got two kids that are now in their thirties and I did a decade of marriage and a couple of years before then when I was just going out with my husband soon to be husband. So I feel like, you know, I did, I did the stretch. I'll be not. Yeah. I did the stretch and then I got divorced in the year in 2001. And that was the early days of internet dating, what I call the golden years of internet dating. And there was a, there was an amazing website that if anybody from New York of my age is around, will probably remember called nerve.com. And nerve was like my introduction to internet dating. And even though they had nobody in the UK, I found that website and I started engaging with some people on there. And that led me on my voyage of sexual discovery. As I like to call it, which, which eventually resulted in a, in an erotic memoir that I wrote in my early forties that, that actually did really well under a pseudonym. And then I wrote a subsequent one because my publisher said, well, that one did really well. Can you write another one? I was like, well, it was called the butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker. And it was published by Random House and it paid my kid's school fees for a couple of years, which is great. It had to have done well if you made money off a book. I mean, typically you don't really make that much money after the advance and blah, blah, blah, you don't even mean. So, you know, you have to do really well to make a buck on a buck, right? Yeah, I actually went to number 20 overall on Amazon. Like that's major. I know because I had a book published, so I know that whole deal. Okay. So listen, so, okay, what was this sexual awakening? Who were you when you were married and what changed when you like left that relationship? And, you know, why did you change to become a wager? Well, who were you before? And then what did you start doing after? Yeah, so, I mean, I was a sexual person in my early 20s. And then I met this incredibly handsome man and had a very monogamous, very, you know, very traditional relationship. And then we made the big mistake that, you know, couples have made before of working together, living together, raising children, which ultimately was, you know, was very, yeah, it wasn't a good situation. We ended up taking our work home and blah, blah, blah. But anyway, we ended up having an incredibly amicable divorce, I have to say, was very amicable. And then subsequent to that, about six months after I got married, I met this complete nutcase of a man in Soho House back in the days when that members club was just one single club in London. And he and I started living together very quickly, even though that was a massive mistake. And he was a guy who was, I guess, before I even really knew what a swinger was, or he just, yeah, he just liked, he just liked seeing me with men and he just liked doing crazy stuff. And I was so naive at beginning to all of this. I just was kind of ripe for being led astray. Which I, well, were you ripe? Were you open minded? Were you curious? Were you stupid? I mean, like what allowed you to be led astray? Quote unquote. Well, I suppose I, yeah, I mean, he was, he was fun and he was funny and he was sexy. And he was like, Oh, what do you say we do this? What do you say we do that? And, and I said, yeah, why not? You know, I've done these things before and I was always a pretty open minded person anyway. So, so we went on this path of meeting other people and eventually going to a few clubs together. Sadly, he was also an alcoholic. So he, he didn't actually last long in this world. I remember once lying on a beach with him and asking him how many people he thought he'd slept with. And after about a few minutes consideration, which was a few minutes too long in my opinion, he came up with a number that was around two and a half thousand. So, yeah, he was a man of experience. And is that a bad thing to you? Was that a turn off by the way? No, no, that was no. I thought that was quite funny. Yeah. But yeah, but ultimately he fell for me and he, yeah, he sadly died in sadly died in 2004 when he was very young. And I thought after that, you know what? I've had a pretty, pretty not great marriage. I've, I, I took up with somebody who was also, yeah, probably not the most desirable person to be with. So I'm just going to do what I want. And what I want right now is to, to basically manifest every sexual fantasy I've ever had. I just thought, why don't, why not? Why not do that? Like I was, I was in my early 40s. I was pretty hot back then and I thought, if I'm going to do it at any time, let me do it now. And I was kind of, I guess you could call it lucky or whatever. This person came along, he was a long time swinger and he wanted to go to clubs and do lots of things. He had a lot of experience and he said, look, it's very difficult to go to these places as a single man. Would you like to go with me as a kind of pretend couple? And I said, yeah, sure. I'll do that with you. And we went and did some, you know, we did, we did pretty much anything that I wanted because he had a big black book of contacts and anything I wanted to make happen. I would just tell him and he would just make it happen. And as anybody who's ever tried to make their fantasies happen may know, it's not actually that easy. But we need to know what your fantasies were. Oh, I mean, I wanted to have threesomes. I'd never done that before with two men. I wanted to do that. I wanted to go to clubs. But so let me ask you a question because right before, I mean, you really like talked about like this guy, you talked, you glossed over the guy that was the swinger that got you in that world and wanted you to fuck other guys. I mean, did he just sit there and watch? You had no threesomes or any of those kinds of experiences with him? No, he was more above the wear. He he just really wanted to kind of watch. Yeah, he was a little cock. Yeah, he was a cock. Yeah, but I didn't know like at the bed, then I didn't know what these words they didn't exist. Oh, these words. No, they didn't exist back then, by the way. They're more common now. Oh, I didn't know any honestly. I didn't know anything. I just knew that he kind of liked feeling a bit jealous. He liked watching. He liked, you know, like doing, he liked doing. But yeah, I don't really I didn't really have the vernacular around any of this. And yeah, and then I met this other person. And again, I didn't realize until years later, when I reflected on on our relationship, which was kind of on and off for six years, but not in a serious way, just in a fantasy execution kind of way that he was very dominating and very. Yeah, he kind of took control, which I realized I actually really enjoyed. Okay, guys, want not only bigger loads, but better tasting loads as well. Okay, well, then listen, you need to go right now and get yourself some load boost by VB health. Okay, I have heard from so many guys that it not only works, but it works fast. My listeners have been telling me they are shooting bigger loads and their wives are saying that it tastes better after just two weeks of using it. Swear to you, if you don't believe me, email me and I will send you the screenshots of the DMs. Okay, load boost is not some sketchy supplement. 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And so, yeah, we just went to parties, we went to clubs, we went to a nature's village in France called the Cap Dac, which is a crazy place where during the high season, during the summer, there's like 40,000 people that live in this nature's town and all sorts of stuff goes on there. And that was crazy fun. And yeah, we just did all these. But what's interesting is you're in all these like very risky places, but you didn't do anything besides like screw other guys solo. You didn't live out your sexual fantasies in that relationship where you were like you could have. No, I'm surprised. Yeah, I mean, I wanted to, I mean, we had like a set group of people that we would meet up with. And yeah, I mean, I would say that three sums, you didn't like hook up with the women. You didn't try any of those things, even though you're in that world kind of where kind of anything goes. Oh, I did all those things. Oh, okay. So what kind of fantasies did you have after all of that? You don't know how to tell a story. Okay, you got to tell those stories. Your first time with a woman, your three, I mean, you're telling, you know, it sounds like you left that thing and you were like a virgin. And then you lived out your fantasies. It sounds like you lived out fantasies with him too. Yeah, yeah. I mean, with the swinging guy that I was with for six years, I mean, we spent we spent two years only having three sums with basically other men, right? Yeah, we had we met up. Um, we went to the Cap Tag with other couples. We I don't know what did we do? I mean, God, you know, sounds like you did so much that it doesn't even stand out to you as interesting. But for my people, it is, you know what I'm saying? So did you enjoy all those? I wrote two books about it, you know, I know, but we need your story. I talked to you for an hour. You got to, you know, yeah, I mean, I had, I guess the thing that struck me and the reason why I ended up writing this book was that at the end of about a year after the guy had died, I was looking at my life and it was like I was rotating up, you know, a bunch of men. There were probably about six men or something that I was seeing, you know, at various points. And then we had this kind of relationship with this guy where we'd go off to clubs and things. And I reflected on where I'd been, you know, that I'd been in this married person and I've had kids and I've done fairly traditional stuff. And I thought about all the things that I'd done since then and subsequent to then. And I thought, if I don't write it down, I'm never going to remember it. And even now, like when I talk to you, like, what have I done? Some of it, you know, it was 20 years ago. Some of it is like kind of fades into memory because I started to think about when you get involved in it, you know, and I got involved. I had a Tantra teacher and then I learned a lot about Tantra. I had a couple of Tantra partners. I had a dog partner who was really got me into kind of like, begin them, taught me about a little bit about pain, pleasure. You know, I had the experiences with threesomes and with couples and with women. And, you know, after a while, you sort of look at all of this. And it's, I guess it's a bit like when you've watched too much porn. You do get to the point where one of the things that starts to stand out is the lack of intimacy in like genuine intimacy in these situations. You sort of get to a point where you're just always trying to get to the next high. And the next, you know, the next kind of risky situation, like how much more can I go? Can I do banks? Can I do this? Can I do that? And it did, it did get to the point after a while where I missed actually just having genuine intimacy in my life. Whereas I had a girl on named Keith, you know, who was very hardcore. And she was like, you know, she was saying one time to me, like after she was talking about all the 50 gang bang she had. And she was like, you know, gagging over her guys cock in front of 10 guys. Like she was like, you know, we wonder sometimes what we're going to do next. I'm like, maybe you're just going to have like, you know, missionary style sex. And that's going to be hot. You know what I mean? Because like, where do you go after you've been everywhere? You know, maybe you do go back to the beginning, right? You know, maybe that is what becomes hot at that time because you're you're so far from that at that point, right? Completely. And I think also it becomes kind of a very dangerous situation to get into. I mean, lots of people that I started engaging with, especially women in clubs, if they were women that like being with lots of guys, those women would start getting offered money. Right. They'd go to start paying them. Yeah, yeah. Because, you know, there were women that I met on the scene that one of their things was they weren't going to leave the club until every guy had got off. And of course, those women are really valuable to to swingers clubs. And so those clubs would start paying them. And once you start getting paid that side of things, but maybe that's because it was so long ago that there weren't a lot of women that would engage. And there's so many more women that are in touch with their sexuality and down now that they don't need to do that. I don't know. I've talked to people who run swingers clubs, who go to them who are, you know, members like women too, especially. And no one's ever talked about that side of things. But it's interesting, though, I love your story, though. It just might have just been happening more in the beginning. And it kind of makes sense. Because like you said, that would be the reason why the club would pay because maybe women who are very sexually free like that weren't so easy to easy to find. And they want to keep them. No, completely. And of course, once you start getting into the scenario where you start getting offered money, I mean, I wasn't I wasn't there. But I could see that it was available to me. Right. And I could see that further away. I got from being emotionally involved with people. The more I started to see the transactional nature of sex and the more I started to feel quite disconnected from the emotional capacity, that I that I was lacking in these situations to actually feel any like love or feelings towards any of these people. So ultimately, I got to 50 and on my 50th birthday, I ended up having two parties. One was a very traditional birthday party on the other was organized by a guy that I'm seeing at the time, which was with a variety of couples. I was just asking for another threesome because I hadn't had one for a while. OK. I mean, I started off the story because I didn't have any kind of intimacy. So I set up another on intimate party for my 50th. Yeah. So I was like, you know, I was with this guy and we were having fun. And I just said, oh, you know, I'd quite like to have another MMS threesome. I haven't done that for a while. I think it would be fun. And so we organized, you know, like a party. And I just remember looking at all these people having sex with each other and pretending to have sex with each other or doing whatever they were doing. I'm just thinking I've done like I'm done. I'm bored. I'm done. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm just completely over it. I've done. I played it all out. And now I just want a nice, a nice kind of quiet vanilla relationship with somebody that I actually really like. And I ended up meeting very shortly thereafter, a guy who is 15, 16 years younger than me. And we started going out and had a, you know, really great, but very, very, very fair, you know, pretty, pretty vanilla kind of time. And we're together for several years until things, you know, things my menopause just started taking over. He had some mental health challenges. And it wasn't really until I was 60 that I thought about all of the stuff that I had done and the stuff that I hadn't done for a long time and thought, I wonder what would happen if at 60, because I was single again. If at 60, I went back to doing some of the things, not all the things, because some of them I realized I wasn't all that into. But, you know, some of the things that I did before to see if I still had any interest in them, or if I was just going to take up knitting and making soup, you know. Quick question. During that time, did you have that, did you go back to that vanilla intimate kind of relationship? Did you have that for 10 years? Did you like fill yourself up with, you know, a lot of intimacy at that point that you got to the point where you were like, OK, I could go back and do that other thing again? Like what is that what happened? OK, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I had some very nice relationships with people where, but I then got to the point where the last person that I was with back in sort of 2022. Sadly, he died. And we, you know, we had a very, very normal relationship. And at that point, I was like, you know what? What if I just go back to some of the things I used to do and see if I still like them, but without the same attachment to them, without the same like, you know, intensity, if you like, of that. But still, but with a sense of fun and a sense of like curiosity. I think, you know, at every 10 years or so or whatever, like you're a completely different person. Like, I think it's kind of interesting to say, hey, let me try that all over again as who I am now. And maybe it will be different. Who knows, right? Exactly. And so I met, I met up with a French guy and he said, you know, I'd like to go to some of the English clubs. I've never been to them before. Let's see what it would be like. And I said, you know what? I haven't done this for so long. You're, you know, as a super nice guy again, like not a deep relationship, just like a casual relationship. And so I started going back to these clubs and made a little spreadsheet with him of all the ones that we visited and with a little review next to them. Where were you living at the time again? Like we're in London. Oh, OK. And so let me ask you this though, because, you know, you are talking a span of so many different years that you did this, right? And you were in and out, you know, by the time you went back after 10 years, like, was it different this scene? Definitely. I mean, in a way, it was different. And in a way, it was not so different. I suppose in a way, my appetite for adventure when I was younger was much stronger. You know, my libido was really high. It was really horny all the time. When I was 60, I needed to get myself a little bit revved up. I wanted to, I realized like looking at people having sex again, wasn't really that exciting. Still, I was like, oh, yeah, I remember this. And then I remembered that actually one of the things about the clubs in the UK is that there's a lot of drinking involved. And there's a lot of just waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting until everybody's sufficiently, you know, like, sozzled before they do anything. Because typically the people on my show, so many of them that are so involved in this, none of them drink. I never get the feeling that like these clubs are filled with people that are so drunk, you know, typically, and I'm hearing from people that don't do anything at all, don't imbibe in anything because they don't want that. You know, it's interesting, though, that you've experienced that. And I'm sure it happens. You know, I mean, every club is different and every place is different. I know people on my show, most of them don't take part in even that girl, Casey, though, so hard. Of course, she never drank at all. Never. She was not a drinker. She was not a partier. She didn't do drugs. Most of the women I talked to never do and they don't like to. And, but it's interesting and you would assume, though, that plenty of people do. I guess I just don't hear from those people because I would think that that's not like cool. You know what I mean? Because you don't know really what you're consenting to. And the whole swinger world is typically about consent and that's like really like important, you know, and because there's so much going on. And involved and strangers, you know, that you would think that most people would want to keep their right head on, right? Completely. And I think it's very cultural. I mean, I'm not a big drinker, but the UK is a big drinking culture. So that makes sense. So in the UK, they need to get pissed, as we say. And that doesn't mean angry. That just means drunk, right? But then you go to France, like like the Cap D'Aigre, you go to Spain, the Grand Canaries is another place where there's quite a lot of that sort of activity. And it's not it's not a heavy drinking culture at all. So it culturally like the UK. I mean, this French guy, again, not a big drinker. And I remember after we'd been to about, I don't know, about four or five clubs together. He was like, Susanne, I don't know about you, but I don't know them. If I'm really feeling this. Yeah, I know I'm with you, babe. So I'm not I'm not I'm not feeling this either. But you know, we gave it a good shot. We gave it a shot. We tried it out. We decided it wasn't really that interesting. Now we can just go back to having fun on our own, you know, like we don't need to do that. So but, you know, I I I wanted to see what it was like. And equally, I went back to the Cap D'Aigre on my own. And I met some people and I, you know, I went to a few clubs and I did that for a couple of two or three years in a row. And the first year I was like, yeah, this is kind of fun. I'm enjoying this. Met some met a nice couple, had some good times. And then I went again a couple of years ago on my own. Didn't have a good time. And I said, oh, you know, I don't know if I want to do this anymore. So I think I picture though of CapDoc. Because I've had another guy call in and talk all about that. And I remember googling it. And I mean, just explain like the whole vibe of the place. It's like a like a swing. It's not just a swing or resort. It's a whole location, correct? Yeah. So it's a really interesting place. It started off. It's actually celebrating its 70th birthday this summer. So it's been around for 70 years. It was originally established because German people like to be naked. It was originally established. Very, very, by the way, the German and their kinky. Yeah. But, you know, back 70 years ago, it was really like, I suspect, much more about naturophan. So it's a wall village in a 70th style in France. So it's not attractive. It's full of concrete kind of apartment blocks and shops and clubs. And it's a town, right? It's a but it's a wall town. So you have to get a little pass to go in the neighborhood. The neighboring towns are set and beautiful towns in the Langdok. They're gorgeous, but the Capdeck is not particularly gorgeous, but it is very unusual for what it is, which is essentially a place that nature's can go and be naked. Twenty four seven has been gradually over the years, been taken over by people who go there, particularly because they like to have sex with other couples, mainly. And so there's lots of clubs where people can go and do that. There's a campsite. There's, like I said, there's supermarkets and there's a very lovely beach. But it's a place that you will get everybody from families, French families who just want to hang out and be naked to hard course wingers who want to go down to the end of the beach and put on a show for, you know, 20 or so men who just want to stand around in a circle. Jerk, right? So it's everything. Yeah, it's every it really is everything. And and unless you go, you can't really explain it. Completely appreciate how diverse it is because it's not really like a swinger town and it's not really like a nature's town. It's whatever you want to it's whatever you want to make it. And there have been times that I've gone where, like, you know, the first time I ever went, I was right down at the end of the beach, putting on a show, but now I don't want to put on a show. I just don't want to do that. I want to be naked. You did it already. I mean, yeah. Yeah. So, you know, again, it's like going back and going, OK, what can I take out of this experience? I like natureism. I like being naked. I like this part of France. I like the French food. I like the French wine. I like to do all of that. But do I want 20 guys jerking off around me? No, not really. I don't want that. Right. But what is your what is a place like that? Like what kind of experience does a single woman have going there? Because you went as a solo, you said. Yeah. And I would say that one of the least desirable things about the place is a single woman is that the French have a very strange idea about what consent actually looks like. Oh, you're kidding. And they're and they sometimes are completely inappropriate. And you really have to set very clear boundaries. So the last time I went, I felt kind of uncomfortable, even though I had friends there and I was hanging out with people. I felt like I was putting myself in a situation that wasn't particularly safe. And I didn't really enjoy that very much. So hence the reason why I was like, I don't know if I want to go back there again. Whereas if you go as a couple, you're pretty much that doesn't really happen. It's a very it's quite a couple sort of place to go anyway. There's lots of couples that meet up with other couples. It's very much like that. The swinging scene in general tends to be quite coupley. So yeah, single women are rare, and that's why they get a lot of attention. Do they allow a man year olds? Yeah, there are quite a lot of single men because single men are allowed in the village. So providing they just pay for a pass, they can they can wander around and they can hassle you on the beach for as much as they can. Yeah, they do. Especially the French men is what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And there's clubs where the French guys will be like on one side of the of the building and the couples will be on the other and the couples can go into the male side if they want more male attention. So, you know, there is opportunities for single guys to engage with couples predominantly, but obviously if you're a single woman, then you're kind of a unicorn. And so you get more attention, not always the kind you want. Yeah, as usual, right? That's kind of typical. So of all those things that you did, I mean, I have a lot of questions, like what chapter came next after this one? But like of all the things that you did, you three, some women with men, with couples, you know, all different, you know, like, what was your favorite thing? Did you have something that you really enjoyed the most? Yeah, I love the M M F thing. And I had a little group that was just really fun and nice. And we just used to get together for a few hours. And yeah, I really loved that. Like the tension of two guys at the same time. Yeah. And just the feeling and yeah, it was just a really, it was just a lot of fun. And I still somewhat miss that, if I'm really honest. I mean, there's something about a sexual experience of being with two guys that's quite intense. And yeah, I just really, I did really, really enjoy that. I suppose that was my favorite, which is why I did it for so long. So after you coming full circle and getting back into it in your 60s, like, you know, did you have your fill of that? Is that when you moved? I mean, like what what came next for you in your exploration? Yeah. So, I mean, like where I am now, I'm going to be 65 on Sunday. And I am I have a guy that I see on a fairly regular basis. That's casual. But occasionally we get together with a couple that, you know, and we just have, you know, we just have good sex. I enjoy it. There's some other people around that I'm that I see that I'm interested in. Yeah, I mean, I'm not like as desperate to get laid as I used to be, which is, which I think is a healthy thing. Frankly, guys might say that, you know, at a certain point, it feels kind of not I think Bill Maher is, you know, notorious for kind of saying like he's glad that he kind of lost a little bit of that drive, you know what I mean? Because it's almost too much when he was younger. But, you know, is that because of menopause? Like, are you on hormones or how do you keep your sex drive going at your age? Yeah, I mean, definitely menopause. I just felt my libido go into free fall. Yeah. But I started going on testosterone about, I don't know, I guess it's about nine months ago, and that has definitely perked up my libido. I mean, I wouldn't say it was the same as it was in my 40s, but it's definitely ratcheted up, which is good. I take vaginal estrogen, which just kind of helps keep downstairs feeling moist and good. I will tell you this though, because I've been on all kinds of hormones since I've been in perimenopause. And I do have to say that a lot of people think sex drive for women is all testosterone, but it's also estradiol and not just the vaginal one, because that stays local. If you probably get on a little estradiol too, that needs to be high as well for sex drive. And a lot of times testosterone alone does not work and everyone thinks that's all it takes, but it's actually high estradiol that will do it to you. Putting that in as well with the testosterone is what you might be missing. Yeah, possibly. Yeah. I mean, I'm, you know, I'm quite happy with the, with the way it is at the moment. So, I mean, yeah, I think whatever works for whatever works. I mean, the vaginal estrogen just generally helped remove the pain that I was experiencing. Yeah. You know, it's huge and just kept everything lubricated down there. And yeah. And I think for me now, what I often say to people in sex advice for seniors is that a lot of what I feel now about my libido, about how I become aroused, about how I approach sex is very much scheduling it into my life. Like it's the spontaneity is not there anymore. And I find that I want to know when I'm going to have it. And with the guy that I see in the UK, we have a kind of fairly regular Sunday afternoon, Saturday afternoon, we're just spending the entire afternoon just having fun. And my brain starts to think about that hours before he comes over. You know, it's like, Oh, this is going to happen. We're going to do this. It's going to be really good. I'm going to take a shower. I'm going to like wear something sexy. I'm going to think about what I really like to do. I'm going to pull out my favorite toys or try some new ones that I've been given or whatever. And I think for me now, it's about the anticipation is very much tied to how aroused or not aroused I am. Right. That helps. That's what you're saying. Yeah. And I think when I speak to other, when I speak to sex therapists and sexologists, they all acknowledge that one of the things about the menopause is that if you're libido has taken a nosedive, that putting it in the diary, that doing whatever it takes to feel desirable and to feel aroused is part of preparing for sex. And I think that's for me become really important, which is. I guess surprising when I look at some of the clubs and things I've been to is like, even though I knew that sex is all is going to happen when I'm there, like just watching people now doesn't have the same thrill for me that it used to. Oh, you said the visual aspect of it isn't a turn on as much as it was in the past. No, definitely not. And I look at people and like, yeah, I've seen people having sex before. And you know, that's. Parts are going into the other part. That's interesting. Yeah. You know, whereas, whereas if somebody sends me like a sexy text message or says, I can't wait to get my hands all over your hot body or something like my, my brain starts going, oh, yeah, I really want to. I'm really looking forward to that. Like it has to be far more contextual. Yeah, maybe that's great advice for guys that are listening for their wives who are maybe older or maybe in menopause and need that kind of revving up, you know. Yeah, definitely. And I think a lot of women I know say to me, oh, but it's not like it used to be when I was younger. It's like, no, it's not. I mean, I spoke to somebody today on my podcast and she was just like, oh, I tell couples that have like mismatch libidos or perhaps don't have that spontaneity and want just want to know, like, are you up for it? Because their partner isn't always up for it. Like put a chocolate in a cup in the morning. And if another person puts the chocolate in the cup, that means that it's on. It's game on. Right. It's fun. Like, right. Like little make it a game. Like put create little signals. Somebody else told me just put a coffee cup on the counter. And if the coffee cup goes back in the cupboard, that means it's not on. If the coffee cup stays on the counter, that means it's on. Like, you know, whatever you need to do to kind of indicate to your partner, like, yeah, I'm up for it. Well, it's also sounds very intentional and you have to be in a lot of times some people is like, what comes first, like the loss of the libido or and then the desire and then they don't even want to be intentional about, you know what I mean? There's no desire to even put that piece of chocolate in there. They don't even want to. They don't think about it, you know, but I think you have to kind of be intentional about it and make sure, you know, I think as you get older, that's every part of your life, you know, you have to intentionally decide, I'm not going to be bitter. I'm not going to, you know, I'm going to be happy today if not, you know, because life could just take you over and you could just forget about these things. And not if you don't intentionally decide you want to have sex on Saturday with your lover, like it's not going to happen, you know, because you're not going to want it or desire it. Completely, completely. And I think, you know, we just have to get used to the idea. And and that can be really fun. I mean, like I said, I, I have a whole preparation that goes into my Sunday afternoon, that is part of me feeling horny. It's just, it becomes a whole story that I tell myself about. But it's because you know yourself and you do it on purpose, which I think is great. And it's a great sort of thing for other people to take on and do what you do, right? It's something that you just decided to do for yourself. But it's something that could work for other women as well. Yeah, completely. And I always tell other women, you know, it's not that your libido is gone. It's just you have to find new ways of uncovering it, of manifesting it. And that could be like, what is it going to, you know, what makes you feel sexy? Is it, is it taking like a bath and, you know, doing your hair and putting on some high heels and some stockings and some sexy lingerie. And when people say, oh, you know, I don't feel like I'm right about my body anymore. And I think, well, just buy yourself like a really lovely, silky robe and just keep it on. Like nobody says you have to be naked during sex. Like wear some crotchless undies. Like wear a pink bra with your nipples sticking out. Like, you know, I'm like, I like pantyhose. I have all these guys on my show on Fetish Fridays who love pantyhose. And I'm always like, get your girl. Because I love lingerie and dressing up like a slutty hot outfit. Me too. Yeah. And there are these like full body pantyhose stocking things that are like super hot. They're see-through and then they're crotchless and they just come over your boobs and you're totally naked. And you know what? It holds everything in your body. It looks like fucking perfect. I'm like, just buy one of those for your girl. Every girl is going to feel hot and that they don't understand. You know, totally, totally. I mean, you know, crotchless anything. Yeah. It's just, it's just hot, right? And it's, there's no age limit to wearing this stuff. I mean, there's, you can wear this at whatever age you are. And you can still feel a bit about yourself. And I think that's, for me, so much of sex is about that. What is it going to take you to feel good about yourself? And if it's covering up in something, if it's getting tied up, if it's wearing a blindfold, if it's creating some scenario, some role-play scenario, doctor, nurse, you know, doctor, patient, whatever. Like just be creative. Like sex should be playful. And I suppose that's the, you know, that's always been the way that I've approached it in a very playful way. But it does require being intentional. I've always said to people like sex in my sixties is very, very intentional. I can very easily have stopped years ago and just said, not feeling it, you know, but I don't want to stop because. Yeah, you made the pass to not do that. And you have to take control. And like I said, I think that happens in all areas of life, the older you get, because it could become like Groundhog Day. And you know, time just goes by and nobody intends to do anything. And then they don't do anything and they just stay the same. And that's just, you know, the way it is. But if you intentionally make a decision to, like you said, you know, have fun and still stay in touch with that part of yourself, you can stay in touch with it and get it back. And maybe it's not going to be every day or spontaneous, like you said, but you can, you know, you figure out what it is for you that makes you feel hot. And then you go do it once a week or twice a week, whatever, with your partner or with a lover. Are you seeing mostly younger guys? I mean, do you find as a 60 something year old woman online, like who's hitting you up? Yeah. I have to say, I don't see anybody that's my own age, but but it's not, it's not that I don't, it's not that I don't want to. I mean, the guy that, the guy that I see in London, he's only five years younger than me. So it's not like it's not massive. Yeah. Yeah. But generally they're, generally they're younger. I mean, in the, where I'm living now in Vietnam and just I've been traveling through Thailand and stuff. And, you know, I've gone on the dating sites and I'll tell you, it's just fucking tumbleweed when I go on these sites for men my own age, just tumbleweed. And my girlfriend said to me last year when I was in living in the Grand Canaries, she was like, move the, move the age down, move it down. And I was like, oh no, I can't do that. And she literally just grabbed my phone and she pushed the thing down to like 40. Okay. And I went, oh, it's too young. And then suddenly like all these people like popped up, right? And she's like, see, see, see. I was like, oh, but they're so young. And she's like, well, you know, come on, you're just here for a few months. Don't be, don't be so fuzzy. And then, yeah, I found that I found that generally I'm seeing people when I'm traveling anyway, and like they're 40s, early 50s, even sometimes late 30s, but try to avoid the 30s. Sometimes it's unavoidable because that's just what's available, you know? Yeah. And a lot of younger guys have that kink, right? They want to be with an older woman. It's a thing, right? It's been around since the dawn, since the same thing for guys going with younger chicks. I mean, I don't know why women get such a bad rap for fucking a 25 year old guys do it all the time. Same thing. You know, it doesn't really matter, really. But what are you? Are you romantically involved with the guy that you're seeing now? Are you looking for like a full relationship? Are you just looking to have fun? Like where are you at with that whole thing? Um, no, I'm not really looking for anybody special. I'm really happy in my situation ship, which is what I call it. Yeah. And few other people that I've got around. I mean, I, I really enjoy traveling. I've spent the past three months out of my home country. I've, I just spontaneously decided to come to Vietnam when I couldn't face going back to the UK because the weather was crap. And I just look at my life and the kind of life that I want, which is more traveling, more spending time out of the UK. And I realize that most people that I meet are just not in the same position as I am to be able to do that. You know, I, I record my podcast every week. I can do that from anywhere, providing there's a decent wifi connection. I have some other work that I do that's around content creation on my channels. It's all very easy to do remotely. So I really am very flexible with regard to where I can live. And I have to be honest with myself. I like traveling on my own. I'm good at it. I get on with just meeting people. It's pretty easy to hook up. It's pretty easy to meet people. And I just think, well, what's the likelihood of finding somebody who's going to have the same interest in doing that and who's going to have the same degree of flexibility? And I suspect not too many people. So I'm not going to put pressure on myself to find someone. I'm just going to live my life in the way that I'm enjoying myself. You want to find someone and settle down, right? Like those words are there for a reason, right? Cause typically you do settle in one place with someone, you know, unless you met a very similar match to yourself of someone who does like to move and travel. And I'm sure that exists, right? If you exist, there's another person just like you, but you know, it would maybe tie you down and that's not what you don't look in a settle down right now. You've kind of been there. Done that. I mean, you were married for many years. You had kids, you know, why not go see the world and do what you're doing now and get more experiences? Why don't you give a shout out to your podcast, tell people what they could hear over there. I'll put a link to it in the description of the podcast so people driving don't have to like remember everything. But why don't you talk about your show, who you talk to where they could find it all like having good stuff. Yeah. So my podcast and my social channels are called sex advice for seniors. And every week I talk with some kind of an expert, whether it's a sex therapist or a sexologist or a dating coach or a tantra person or whatever, whoever, about sex relationships and dating at typically 50 plus. And you can find me everywhere. I choose Spotify. Substack is where I distribute my podcast from. So and if you join my substack, then you get some naughty stories that are real life stories that are that I write pretty much on a weekly basis because. I can. There you go. Does that get you in the mood writing your dirty stories for people? Oh, totally. In fact, I wrote on some sub-sec the other day. I wrote who writes the sturdy stories to turn themselves on and who writes sturdy stories to turn other people on. Because half the time I read my dirty stories and I'm like, God, that was hot. Yeah, there you go. That's you're like the good judge of which which ones are good or not. Right. It turns you on. It's only turning other people on for sure. Yeah. And sometimes my stories are just nuts because, you know, one of the things about traveling and meeting people while traveling is we do meet some really crazy people, but not in a dangerous way, but just, you know, just interesting way. Yeah, obviously. And you talk to some of the mostly experts though on your show, right? Where people could learn a lot of stuff about sex as a senior. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Yeah, totally. Yeah, totally. They're mainly, well, they're exclusively experts to be honest. Yeah, definitely. I mean, listen, I'm on your podcast. I don't know when it's coming up, but I was on, but I do consider myself an expert. I mean, I've literally talked to almost 1400 people. I have data which most people don't have. I think Kinsey, they said at ChatGPT was saying, you know, Kinsey, talk to 1800 people, you've talked to 1400. So you're almost there. You know what I mean? That's how he did his whole Kinsey scale of 1800. I've talked to 1400 people living non-monogamous lifestyle. So I feel like I'm pretty much an expert on a lot of things because of the data that I've got, because people really reveal a lot of things to me, and that's where my expertise comes in. But, you know, I love that you talk to real experts there. I started having those people on my show as well on Saturdays just to give people a little bit of education on stuff too, because I think everyone's looking for that nowadays, especially people are turning to podcasts to learn, right, and about stuff and hear advice and stuff instead of reading books as much, right? So I think it's great that you have your show. I'll put a link to it in the description. Thanks so much for coming on and talking about your journey. It was like super interesting. It was like a whole life story. And thank you so much for having me. And now I get to go to sleep. Yes, yes. We switched time. Okay, go to sleep. Bye, Suzanne. Thanks so much for calling in. Thanks, Cathy. Bye. Bye. Okay, I just want to tell you before you go that my book, it's called Strictly Anonymous Confession, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers, is now available not only in paperback and ebook, but you can pre-order the audiobook. It's still not going to be out till August 25th, but you can pre-order it. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story. There's a cuck queen story. There's a cuck story. There's a gang-being girl story. Like I said, 17 stories and they're all told in the third person and they're all true. I took the interview and rewrote it in the third person and I wouldn't really call it like a total erotica book, think like penthouse letters. It's more direct. It's not so over the top like erotica. I don't really like that kind of vibe, right? But these are true stories, 17 of them. They're really short chapters, easy read. You could read one or two and then skip around. You could read the whole book. It's available in e-back format, paperback format. And finally, the audiobook is available coming out August 25th, but you could pre-order it now. And if you buy my book in any format or pre-order it, I will throw in a complimentary link to my Discord. My Discord does not disappoint. Okay. There's no way you'd get into my Discord any other way than getting the link from me. Okay. I give it to people who buy my book. There's tons of people in there. Everybody shares content with each other and that's what you get to do there. You could post your own pictures and videos. There's tons of channels. We have lots of contests where you could win a lot of money. It's a super fun place to be. It's a total strictly anonymous community and you will love it. I will be giving anyone who buys my book access to my Discord. It's private. Like I said, all you got to do is email me a screenshot of your purchase, whether you did the audiobook, the ebook, or the paperback. Send it to me at strictlyanonymouspodcastatgmail.com. That's strictlyanonymouspodcastatgmail.com and I will send you the link to Discord. So anyway, thanks so much for tuning in. This is the Strictly Anonymous Podcast. Royal British Legion gave me a life worth fighting for, reawakening that sense of worth. Write your will for free today to protect your loved ones and give veterans like Naomi a fresh start. I do now see that I do have life and my life is worth living. People like you gave me hope again. Start writing your will for free today with the Royal British Legion. Search RBL Free Wills to find out more. In a world of noise and uncertainty, IG is the investment platform that backs you. 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The book is called Strictly Not a Misconfessions, Secret Sex Lives of Total Strangers. The book is basically 17 different stories taken from my show. I kind of picked one story from each category that I talk about on my show. Like there's a hot wife story, there's a cook queen story, there's a cuckold story, there's a gang bang girl story, there's like, like I said, 17 stories. And they're all told in the third person, right? So I took the interview and I rewrote it in the third person. I wouldn't call it like an erotica book, though there's plenty of sex in there, right? But I didn't write it to sound like erotica because that's like the vibe of my show. You're going to learn a lot, you're probably going to get a little turned on. It's a different way to hear these stories, like I said, because they're written out in third person. There's an e-book available if you don't want your partner to know that you're reading my book, get the e-book, it's available. If you buy my book in any format, I will throw in a complimentary link to my discord. My discord does not disappoint, okay? There's no way you'll get the discord and go in there and be like, oh, this sucks, okay? It's like pretty amazing. There's tons of people on there and everybody shares content with each other. That's what's great about discord. You get to post your own videos and pictures and there's tons of channels and we have contests over there. It's a super fun place to be. I will be giving anyone that buys my book at any time access to my discord. It is private. The only way you could get in is through me giving you the link and that's why I think my discord is so great because I have vetted people. It's not like it's just open to the public. So everybody that's in there, people that listen to my show and people that listen to my show are fucking great. So my discord is fucking great. My book is great. You're going to love it. If you buy it, all you got to do is send me the receipt or a picture of proof that you bought it and I will give you free access to my discord. Send it to strictlyanonymouspodcast.gmail.com. You could find my book in the link in the description, okay? Or just google it, strictly anonymous confessions, secret sex lives of total strangers. You could find it anywhere. You buy books, send me the picture and I'll give you access to my discord email strictlyanonymouspodcast.gmail.com. Anyway, thanks so much for listening.