Diabetes, Sovereignty, and Sickness

uh hey guys how you doing blessed blessed assurance jesus is mine oh what a forte the glory divine i was i was canceling subscriptions because i realized that was like the most nonchalant way to come back from a hiatus do you use sling tv do you use it i didn't download sling tv you asked me to download it because that was allowing you to watch cable without us having cable do you want it oh no it's 45.99 a month wow do you want it i don't want no sling tv i feel like we watch sling tv anyway sling tv if y'all want to you know sponsor us i'll download it again right now deleted bucko okay hi y'all why did you decide to do this because i got an email i got an email for app that i apparently pay for that is 4.99 a week i said absolutely not you are out of your mind and so then that took me to like oh what other subscriptions do i have that i don't need and so well i just want people to know apple tv apple news apple music apple arcade i don't know she's a good manager of our finance why would i need apple arcade cancel subscriptions i ain't playing this is what you should this is what you should take from this guy she should be encouraged because um i definitely won't do this no actually you need to give me your phone no let me give me your phone no i can talk at the same time i can talk at the same time oh my goodness you are tweaking all right so how have you been how was your uh christmas break how was your all the stuff it was it was cool man you know um man don't delete stuff on my phone now that i want now calm 69.99 what's calm i don't know it's probably so delete that i still got that yes see this you don't got that many visco do you still use it yeah i still use visco use last night when i was How was your winter break and stuff like that? It was good. It was good. It was good being around your pretty, pretty, pretty self. We ate good. We had a lot of, well, not a lot. We had quite a few get-togethers with friends. It was cool. You still want them house shoes? You want me to buy you some new ones? Look, so first of all. I just canceled social subscriptions. So all that we've been freed up financially. First of all. To invest in some new house shoes. First of all, it's hard. You got on essentials in those house shoes. Why are you hating on my house shoes? Not hating. It's kind of hatred. Accurately describing. Look, when you break a house shoe in and it fits like the crown of your foot, like it just fits perfectly. It's hard to, you know what I'm saying? You got to break it in again. You know, I got a relationship with these house shoes. Apparently. It's just that you wear them on camera. I don't care. Look at them. Look at him Would you look at it Just look at it Look at it why don't you I'm sorry for everybody that's listening to the audio Just when the YouTube video Come out on Wednesday Just pull it up Just watch the first 10 minutes People be critiquing me On our podcast Like why is President got his feet up Don't you know I'm at home We're not in the studio On the little clips it's always a toe. I am at the crib. Is that your toe being my shot? Huh? It's like, why is your toe in my... That's that one flesh activity. I understand. They don't see my toes. That's called one flesh activity. Y'all doing y'all podcasts with y'all buddies. I'm doing it with my wife. I can have my toe by her Bible. It just was a little distraction because it was one clip. I was talking about something real serious, real deep and it's just a little wiggling toe just right there. It's like, maybe this is offering levity so people don't feel too you know convicted a bruise reed he will not whatever man how have you how is your uh break man i'm gonna sound like a debbie downer oh my gosh wouldn't be jackie o'perry i'm a bit melancholy i don't know i mean it is beautiful to celebrate you know the condescension and incarnation of christ uh you know gabriel coming to mary and being like a the lord has favored you the holy spirit's gonna come upon you and then she carried these things in her heart and she wasn't like you know zachariah who was unbelieving so my heart is gonna happen all that stuff she's giving us the whole near it is really awesome to buy a bunch of presents for our kids and then destroy the house and things like that and let's be with them for like multiple days on end and buy a lot of snacks and stuff like it is beautiful i understand like that like kids grow up and it won't always be this you're gonna miss all the noise i get all of that i'm just saying it was a lot yeah it was a lot it was a lot yeah beautiful but a lot it was a lot yeah and with your social anxiety boosts people at the house a lot get together it's christmas thanksgiving yeah i just prefer spring i just i don't know the holidays i haven't become that person yet that was like yeah you're a little grinchy i'm not grinchy not grinchy i said grinchy not Grinch but like you know you're like you don't really like that you don't really love the holidays because it's what comes with it yeah it's like it's it's beautiful it's just I'm cleaning up all the time it's we got four kids two toddlers they're just there every single day because school is out god bless you teachers you get a break you know I'm saying toilet tissue goes up water bill goes up, light bill goes up, and then you want to invite people over, and I got to figure out how to feed them, too. I got to make sure that we clean up so that they can come over. I'm like, then y'all want trees and garlands and all the... Then marshmallows and hot... It's just every day is a performance. Every day. Next year, I'm catering. You're not lifting a finger? Well... No, I'm going to love you well. If we keep subscribing to Sling, we won't be able to afford a caterer. this podcast so we can have somebody come and serve these people so yeah I don't know pray for me maybe I don't know maybe it's because we didn't celebrate holidays like that when I was growing up it just was me and my mama and you know I just was in my room by myself so again I'm having to do things I don't know we're not about to talk about that I'm glad you enjoyed yourself I'm glad the kids enjoyed yourself I'm glad God glory what we talk about today diabetes diabetes diabetes that's what we're talking about that my pancreas died my pancreas said girl we don't like you oh man no so you're an idiot diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes wait only you okay only you would what did you expect only you would say diabetes but you know what it's not like big brother that's what i'm doing diabetes only you would make fun of something that has changed your life so much because why not oh my gosh listen okay let's count it all joy let's let's give the people a backstory who doesn't um you know so my eyeliner coming my beautiful wife let me tell okay i'll tell i'll tell because you be skipping stuff you tell stories no i'll actually you tell stories that fast forwarded i actually wasn't about to tell see go ahead you see we've We're on the same page. But yeah, you were diagnosed with diabetes. And I feel like people hearing the backstory of that will be pretty interesting. Diabetes is crazy. It's crazy. Here's the story. I ain't got it, but I feel like I got a little bit because my wife got it. You got things. You know, we all got our lots in life. Yeah. We went to Australia in August. Okay. Minding our business. I ain't feeling all. Doing ministry. Yeah. Preaching gospel. I'm not feeling the greatest. I'm feeling a little weird, feeling a little weary, feeling a little tired. I'm thinking, all right, maybe I'm just like, I don't know, dehydrated and jet lag. So I'm killing water the whole we was in. We was in. I'll show you five days, but it's like seven day trip because it takes like two days to get there. Killing liquids, killing water, drinking stuff I don't even drink. If you know me, I don't drink soda. I only drink coffee and water. I'm drinking orange juice. I'm drinking Gatorade because I just want stuff to quench my thirst on top of feeling mad fatigued. So one of the days we go through, go to, we're supposed to do this youth conference. We had dinner with the staff. That dinner. Now I realize it's just all carbohydrates, a.k.a. glucose. I'm eating rice I'm eating sweet potatoes I'm eating I had remember that man ordered me my own bowl of garlic noodles sent me over didn't have any idea that I was dying on the inside so I eat all the carbs do all the stuff it was good too delicious I we went to sleep took a nap I wake up we go to the youth conference and I look around I'm like I can't see nothing and I'm like why is everything blurry I immediately think oh this is demonic attack like we're about to you look so serious but we're about to go i'm just reliving this we're about to go preach the gospel and the devil don't want me to see but no can i i'm gonna just pause please we were both doing ministry in australia but that night you were the only one who had to speak no you were speaking no i thought you were speaking that day Because you couldn't see right before you went on stage Remember? And then I spoke I closed that particular conference out the next day with a sermon I don't know I just thought it was like me I'm on my knees praying in the back How does a girl lose her sight Right before she got to go on stage And so I'm like yo This is a spiritual attack That's what I immediately went to So I went to praying Because I thought something reversed in your eyes Because I had to speak three times I had to speak once or twice at the youth conference and then teach two times at the women's conference. And because I lost, not lost my sight, but it's like my vision completely regressed where everything was significantly blurry. So when I was teaching, I could not see the crowd. I could not see the time clock. I could see my scriptures. I put, you know, usually my manuscript is probably 12.5. I put that thing about 22. just had to make it bigger so i could see it and again i'm thinking this is like the enemy trying to uh hinder the our our peace or something and and and not even just the enemy i'm like lord why is this the thing you let him do to me you know what i'm saying yeah and so we get back home again i'm still feeling even more fatigued and so when we got off the plane i remember you were waiting for the luggage i was like can i sit down because they felt like i just didn't have strength and i was like i feel like how i felt like like my first trimester of pregnancy it was just strange and i knew i went pregnant so i felt like i was my first trimester of pregnancy and then i came what if you were pregnant though well that would be like a a miracle that would be mary again right like the holy spirit would have to do something because you know i made some some some snips snips yeah you could you circumcise some things and so i just i just i might prefer diabetes over that i don't know do you make time for your annual checkups doctor visits labs blood work i do because i i'm a diabetical. But as for you, I don't know what keeps you consistent. I hope you are. We got kids, four of them. So I want to stay healthy for them. But I always don't look forward to the doctor. Just want you to know that what you do before the appointment matters. So before your next checkup, make the one healthy change your doctor will actually notice or you'll get your money back. And that change is adding field of greens into your diet. Field of greens was designed with all of this in mind. Each fruit and vegetable is doctor selected to support your cells, your heart, your lungs, your kidneys, and healthy weight. A university study found that participants who only added Filled of Greens saw measurable improvements in key health markers. Just one change changed everything. I personally use Filled of Greens in my everyday life. The reason why is because it's really healthy. One of the things that I love about Filled of Greens is they flash freeze all of their vegetables. Because when you boil your vegetables and cook them a long time, it loses all the nutrients. And so flash freezing the vegetables gives you an opportunity to not lose any of the nutritional value while at the same time remaining healthy. And it tastes good as well. So I personally think Field of Greens is a win. Going to your next physical with confidence. One scoop, once a day, boom. Make Field of Greens your one smart change this year. You can check out the university study. You get 20% off at fieldofgreens.com, promo code PERRY. That's Field of Greens dot com promo code Perry. And so I I'm losing my train of thought. What happened? I came home. Yeah, you came home. I'm fatigued. I'm tired. I'm on FaceTime. I was telling my mama what I was on FaceTime with Megan. But I was telling my mother what happened. She was like, girl, I hope it ain't diabetes. And I was like, you sound just like Mama Linda. But the way she said it, I felt like, you know, when people say stuff and it's not the way they said it is how your body responds to what they say. And I'm like, she I really hope she ain't right. And I got on. I was on the phone. I was like, I really hope the Lord is not using her. Like, I hope that's not true. So anyway, I go to my eye doctor because I got this procedure called Smile some years back, which is like a version of LASIK. and i'm thinking hey man you said the older i get it's going my vision will regress and so i need you to check and see you know if y'all didn't do the procedure he was like it's been two years not that quick and he was trying to tell me like yeah he was like your vision has probably progressively been getting bad and you just you know just not notice that i was like no i didn't just notice it it just it legitimately shifted after my nap and he was like well the only possible thing that that would do is your sugar he was like you need to go get your blood sugar checked out i'm like Okay, go to the doctor I'm sorry for everybody that don't like Drawing out stories, you can go and click on one of our Podcasts about making disciples or something Anywho, I go To the What do you call that? Not urgent care I go to the doctor They ask me all my symptoms, all my stuff They take my blood and they send me on my way No, no, you're skipping What did I skip? Mama Linda bought something from Walgreens That's, you skipping the part oh i thought that's what happened wait oh i'm sorry so i go to the doctor they take my blood but they do not take a blood glucose test oh yeah my mother says you need to go to walgreens and get you a test and that's the problem it's like when i gave them all of those symptoms at the at the very least they should have given me a blood glucose test to just test immediately i forgot about that we were mad about that what my sugar was so we go to walgreens we get home you had just order some jamaican food so i am very excited to eat these patties and these rice and peas and this uh brown stew chicken and this cabbage i think we have some mac and cheese too and jamaican mac and cheese you just never know but i just i just was really excited to eat the food so we take the test and the thing said like i don't know 475 or something like that and i told my mom i was like what that means she said girl that means you need to go to the hospital that's what that means right now and i'm like really because i i don't know anything about blood sugar i don't know anything about a blood glucose test i'm like i'm not understanding that this is i guess a problem yeah and so we go you take me to the hospital and another mistake is that you bought me a snickers and so i didn't know either i didn't know we're in the lap y'all I'm just chopping on this. Yeah, I was like, she was hungry. I said the commercial part of it. I said hungry. Why wait? Yeah, I just I thought it makes sense that that Snickers was delicious. I said hungry. That might be one of the last Snickers I've had. It was on you. They took us to the back out of my ignorance. Long story short, they took the blood and then the doctor immediately. This is before we even get into the thing. They just taking blood and like high blood pressure. They was like, oh, you got diabetes. I'm like, wait. I was like, ain't you supposed to do some more? Yeah, I said, hey, why you say that that quick? Yeah, it was like immediate. We're not even in the room yet. We're in a little hallway. Yeah. Was that triage? Yeah. I don't know what that is. I don't know what it is either. I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. I was like, I just feel like you should have warned me. You know what I'm saying? And they were like, yeah, nobody's blood sugar is at that if they don't have diabetes. So they said this. I was in denial. I knew you was. I don't know if you was. I was in a nod because I'm like, my wife eats kale. I'm like, I should have that. I eat Skittles in the basement all the time. I say my wife eats my wife. She eats like a rabbit. You should be insulin resistant. She be eating quinoa. You should be type two. God is great. Don't speak that over. No, there is no such thing as speaking that. I know, I'm just saying. Let's be clear. I can't speak anything into existence. Only God has to will it into existence. that we just submit to as well. But I'm just saying, I think that was part of what felt confusing. Yeah, it was. Is that I eat pretty well. I don't overdo it on stuff. And that's the assumption because the assumption is that diabetes for like all versions of diabetes come by by way of how you eat or what you ingest or what you drink and how active you are. and so to me that was a clue that even the diabetes that y'all are telling me I have might not be the diabetes that y'all are telling me I have because the doctor was like I was like what type am I and his immediate thing was type 2 gotta be and I was like well I'm googling and there's type 1 there type 1 there type 2 and it giving I don know how I would be type 2 because it not hereditary it not in my family I don eat a certain kind of way I pretty active all the stuff So that another I think thing that I discovered in this conversation is how quick doctors can be to misdiagnose and not do the due diligence to make sure that they tell you what you actually are so that you can get the care that you actually need And so long story short, they took me back there. I ended up being in what is called DKA, which is basically like my blood glucose levels were so high that it creates this acidity in your blood, which is basically very dangerous where you could die if you don't catch it. And so it really, I think it landed on me eventually that the Lord, this sounds like an overstatement, but it isn't that the Lord saved my life. You know what I'm saying? Because for me to be in DKA, technically in Australia, all those symptoms of me highly urinating, me being super dehydrated, me being very fatigued, I mean, that whole time I was in DKA. And so my vision went bad was a clue that something is wrong with my body, which made me go get it checked. I think if my vision didn't go bad, I would have just tried to thug it out. You know what I'm saying? And then I'm drinking orange juice. I'm drinking all this juice, like putting more sugar, more glucose in my body, not knowing my pancreas no longer produces insulin. So it cannot offset or put this sugar somewhere else. So I say I'd say I think the Lord was kind. Yeah, he saved me And when I was in the doctor Oh, that's also what happened We went to the doctor, they put me in the thing And she was like, yeah, you ain't gonna be able to eat I was like, but I got some Jamaican food Because the doctor was five minutes from the house I said, my husband's back on He on the way with Jamaican food And she was like, I'm gonna let you eat that Jamaican food And you're not gonna be able to eat nothing else So you came and I ate all the rice and peas You was bashing Because I knew that was my last meal I knew I wasn't going to have nothing So they put me on insulin drip Did all the stuff Here's the problem I'm asking these people Okay So what do I do? What do I eat? What do I do? I literally asked the nurse When they were about to let me go Because I was in there for two days I was like so what do I do? She was like you just got to manage it What does that mean? What does that mean? And so imagine you just finding out that you have diabetes, don't know which type. They say type two could be type one. You ask the nurse, hey, how do I what do I do? She said, you just got to manage it. You ain't told me nothing about no endocrinologist. You ain't told me nothing about no meal plans. You haven't taught me anything. So guess what? I go home ignorant. Yeah. You leave. You had to fly out because you had an event. okay in new york yeah they sent me home with metformin metformin is a pill for type 2 diabetes that helps people who have insulin resistance they send me home with the metformin you leave i'm trying not to eat carbs so i'm like eating like you know bean i had a little bit of beans i had some rice some onions i'm trying to eat healthy but i'm pricking my finger and my sugar keeps going up. All I know is now I'm in the 500s again. Why? Because you sent me home without insulin because you don't realize that I'm actually type one. Megan, Jordan came over, Ashley came over. We ended up going to urgent care. Urgent care was like, hey, you probably got to go back to the ER. I don't know why they sent you home. They sent me to the ER. My sugar was in the 600s. They sent me back there and I was in DKA again. And so I was in hospital total four days. Come to find out I am type one diabetic, which is an autoimmune disease, which means that my body randomly or just decided to attack my pancreas. So my pancreas no longer produces insulin. Why is insulin necessary? Because anytime you eat carbs or sugars, It puts glucose in your bloodstream. The insulin is like a bus. The insulin takes the sugar, takes the glucose and puts it into your organs so that you have energy. But if you have no insulin, then all of that sugar is in your bloodstream. If that sugar is in your bloodstream, it makes your blood thick and it creates ketones, which makes your blood acidic. And so no longer your organs aren't getting any energy. And so that's why people's fingers start falling off and all the type of stuff and your blood is acidic and so that is why people die that is why people go into comas so that was the state that i was in because again they sent me home without actually doing the due diligence of knowing what i needed we stopped going to the hospital because it just wasn't that oh they won't ever see me again yeah yeah and by the grace of god we were able to get some real you know um diagnosis and doctors and this is why yeah one of my nurses um because i was praying i was like i don't know what to do with it i don't know anything about this and one of my nurses actually trained in a diabetic facility and so her whole shift was her educating me about everything and i was like this is the lord's kind like everything from my pancreas what to eat the blood pricks what not to do da da da da da and so when i she was like my goal is to make sure that you leave informed that's good you know what i'm saying and so shout out to that nurse like when i when i left i knew i had a sense of what to do you know what i'm saying then the lord connected me with an endocrinologist and now yeah i have a i think you know i mean that that story um it's beautiful because you know i think it's just a testament to how much the lord's hand was on you um even when we were in australia coming back using your mom and we just see that a lot of times that the Lord allows things to happen for many reasons, but he never said that things would happen, but the evidence of him being with you is so clear. And that is the promise that he's with us. And so we thought we couldn't have a conversation based on what you went through about Christian suffering and why God allows it and what is God trying to accomplish because of that. And I think the first question I would have for you is in this trial, in this in this season, you kind of got a hold of it now and you live with it for a while now and manage it well. Kudos to you. But what have you learned and what do you think God was trying to produce in you by allowing you to go through something like that? Well, I think there's a lot of mystery to God's dealings I think even when you read the book of Job There aren't all these answers It's just that God does what he wants to do And I think a general truth is always that God When it comes to his church, when it comes to his children He is always doing good, even when it hurts And so I think having that conviction anchors you When you don't have all the answers I think even when people were like oh my god I'm so sorry that you have this it was just like I don't even think I ever cried about it I cried in the hospital because it was a lot but I think afterwards it's like I think I've become so used to things being hard this is just another hard yeah um and I'm I'm pretty convinced that God just wants me to have a lot of thorns because when Paul talks about his thorns, we don't know what his thorns are. Right. And that gives us some type of freedom to insert our potential thorns in there. You know what I'm saying? And so his thorn is to make him weak so that he would rely on God's strength in my weakness. I like he is made strong. And so his grace is efficient for me. And so I think for me to be physically weak puts me in a position to be spiritually weak. Not spiritually weak, to be spiritually strong. It humbles me. It makes me dependent on people. Like we're over here planning this concert and I'm having to think about how to make sure that I don't go into hypoglycemia because I'm being super active on stage where I might my sugar might drop too low. So I have to not just think about the lyrics and not just think about the band and not just think about the ministry, but also my body and how I can how I can serve the people, but also be healthy at the same time. I didn't have to think about that before. Yeah. And so, yeah, one of the things I've always been encouraged by you is I think watching you doing a duration of our marriage is very apparent that you truly believe that God uses everything. Yeah, that he doesn't allow anything to go to waste. And because of that, like when things happen to you, it's encouraging that you don't go into like grumbling and complaining. a lot of times i complain not not not not a lot of times i'm talking about especially when it comes to like doing the will of the lord for example i remember when your sight kind of went bad in australia and you in my in my mind i'm panicking more than you i'm like my wife my wife freaking going blind she got a you know i'm saying and i remember us being in the back and you this before you was diagnosed with the diabetes before you knew what it was you was like i feel I feel like the Lord is trying to strengthen my dependency in him. And we pray that the Lord will use you. And the fact that the Lord use you that night in that way when you couldn't see, it was kind of like, oh, this buckle is really walking by faith and not by sight, you know? And so I've always really been encouraged by that. And I think it kind of speaks to the broader topic of what we're talking about, which is why the Lord allows suffering to happen. I think one of the reasons why is because he wants to increase our dependency on him. And I think a part of, I have a very strong conviction around the sovereignty of God. He controls, he dictates, he is just sovereign over all things. I mean, even when you look at the story of Job, Satan could not touch Job without God's permission. Like so I think that conviction that God is not only sovereign, because if he's sovereign but not holy, that's a pretty scary situation. Yeah. But he's sovereign and holy, meaning in his sovereignty, he is good. Yeah. In his sovereignty, he is wise. In his sovereignty, he is merciful and compassionate. And so I think having that conviction that God is both sovereign and good kind of always makes me say, OK, what is it that you want me to see and learn, know about you? What is it that you're trying to produce in me for good by allowing this? And I think sovereignty is a conundrum to some people and a source of angst for some people. And dare I say, blasphemy for some people, because they ask the question of why would God allow that? Why would God allow these people to suffer? Why would God allow this evil? And it's like one, Romans 9, I believe, speaks to the fact that, you know, the clay cannot say to the potter anything like he he can do what he wants with his clay. That's a reality. But there's also the reality that have you ever considered that if God does away with all evil, then God has to do away with you. And so we haven't considered that the way he is also managing the world is merciful. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like like even when you look at the book of Job at the end, it's a reason why God responds to Job with all that he does in creation. It's like if I if the deers do this and the sky does that and the oceans do that If I am wise over all of creation and organize and get according to my will and my way Why don't you think I know what I'm doing with you? Yeah, that's good. I know what I'm doing. That's good. The whole world is running well not well But the whole world is organized in such a way because i'm over it Yeah, and so I just said a whole lot, but I just I think that conviction you have to work through that or you will not have this stamina. Yeah, I think to deal with life. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Because I think, you know, when you look at the story of Job, you know, sometimes I think our first inclination is to be like, I know this is God's sovereignty, but this is this is a thing fair. It doesn't seem fair at all. I mean, there is an interesting word and fair is a very interesting word but we think about this man who all 12 of his kids were killed in an instance by a great wind you know all of his livestock and his cattle was gone so that means all of his bread all of his money where's job at left you know um his homeboys came back and was like man you must have made god mad you know i'm saying because he had balls on his body, clothes sticking to his skin. His wife even told him to curse God and die. And we see that God did all of that for a reason. And I remember years ago, and this is when I sounded a lot like a lot of the people online when they hear about your diabetes, they'd be like, don't you believe the Lord for healing? That's of the devil and all of this and stuff like that. I remember reading this book by Matt Chandler, I call it Explicit Gospel. And I think I said this before, but I read a line in this book and the line said, the foremost desire of God's heart is not our salvation, but yet the glory of his own name. And I read that and I felt the way. And the reason why I felt the way is because I really thought that the gospel was about how the Lord wants to give me everything that I want and not allow me to suffer and not allow me to go through things if I just place my faith in Jesus. But really, God really wants to get glory out of my life. And me being creation, I cannot pick and choose how he decides to get that glory out of my life. In the same way, Job could not decide, could not choose how God chose to get glory out of his life. And so I think when we think about God's sovereignty in that way, I think it shifts the way we think because it's like man like god does what he wants for his glory um first and foremost you know yeah i think what's helpful is job chapter one it says there was a man in the land of uz whose name was job and that man was blameless and upright one who feared god and turned away from evil but then in job chapter 42 job says here and i will speak I will question you and you make it known to me. I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eyes see you. And so from chapter one to chapter 42, there's a lot of pain, but what that pain produces is greater sight in the God that he already knew. That's good. And so I think to really add to what you're saying is that a part of what glorifies God is not always the deliverance from pain. What glorifies God is that you know him and therefore glorify him in the pain. You know what I'm saying? Because what greater testimony is there to a world about God when you suffer and don't complain, when you go through something and you still trust? What it does is it lifts people's vision of God and say, huh, what is it about him that they're able to endure that and still smile. What is it about him that they love him and don't turn to vices when things get difficult? What it does is it gives people a vision of the glory of God. There had to be some type of curiosity when people saw Jesus on the cross, not saving himself. They had to have some type of like, oh, he must really love his father. So what is his father worth? his father must be worth something that he is enduring this pain and then praying for folks yeah but not but not only that first peter 12 i think we did a teach the text on this podcast years ago on this on this passage but just remind y'all about christian suffering uh first peter 4 12 it says beloved do not be surprised at the fire trial when it comes upon you to test you as though something strange has happened to you, but rejoice insofar as you share in Christ's sufferings that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. And so it's like, no, not only are what you're saying is right, but we're actually sharing in the sufferings of Christ. It's like, I don't think that we go through anything as God's children and not like, so like if the Lord was persecuted and slandered and you're going through persecution and slander, Now you can identify with the Lord in a way that you couldn't identify with him before. The Lord suffered physical harm to his body and ailment. And now you can identify with your Lord and Savior in a way that you couldn't identify with him before. And so I think that we look at it as, no, I'm actually sharing in the sufferings of Christ. And because I'm sharing in the sufferings of Christ, I can actually see him more because I can relate to him more. And so I think that's any relationship. And it's like we want like we can look at the path that God has taken of pain, suffering, loneliness and ask the Lord, why are you allowing me to go through it? And the Lord was like, you don't want to know me more like like like you don't you don't become close with any friend on this earth and get acquainted with what they've been through. And you not feel that. Right. And so I think that even when we go through trials and tribulations and suffering, like our friends enter into that suffering as well. And we kind of feel like they're in it with us. And so how much more the Lord. And so I think that's what it means when it says rejoice. Don't be surprised when the when the suffering comes. But rejoice because you're not going through anything that Christ hadn't hasn't gone through. And he can relate to you. And more importantly, now you can relate to him. You know, so. Yeah. Yeah. That's my answer to your question. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I want to I want to ask you this What do you say to the people who say You don have you still going through this because you don have the faith to to ask God to allow this thing to go like if you just had a little faith that the size of a mustard seed this thing can leave and it be gone because you get a lot of that You get a lot of people attacking people with mental illnesses, saying, you know, you don't have faith, physical ailments. You don't have faith. God wants to heal you. And they look at it like, no, this thing is of the devil. God just wants to heal you. This is an attack of the enemy. How do you respond to those people? Yeah, it was interesting when I made the post about diabetes on Instagram. the amount of people that text and message like you know god is a healer he can heal you amen don't somebody was like don't speak that over your life or something like that i'm like speak what speak is here speak what like it's my pancreas don't work so i don't think i'm speaking anything it's just i'm just communicating what's actually happening um and i'll i'll affirm the perspective and framework that God can do all things. I affirm that people are like, God is a healer. He is. God is faithful. He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above according to the power of God that worketh in us. What I don't like is the lack of tension that says he can, but if he doesn't, I'm still going to pray for you. Let me give you a text. It's Daniel chapter three, verse 17. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace. So God can take Daniel, what is it? Not Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and in a billy go he can take them out of the fire if he so chooses he is strong enough to do that he is able to do that his hands are big enough for that work but it also says it and he will deliver us out of your hand oh king but if not be it known to you oh king that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up i think the faith that god is calling for is the faith that says he can, and if he doesn't, I'm still going to trust him. You know what I'm saying? And so I think in some of the conversations around healing, it's just like your faith is only strong if you believe God for healing. But what about the person who says, even if he doesn't, I'm still going to worship? That's real faith. Even if he doesn't, I'm still going to love him. That's not unbelief. That's actually a balanced faith. They say he is Lord and King, so he has the right and the autonomy. to execute his will in my life however he sees fit. And so it might not be, it might actually be a curse for me to be healed because it wouldn't make me humble. You understand what I'm saying? Like there are certain circumstances that I need to stay in because I'm too proud. You better teach us. I'm too proud. Because we think healing of the body is God's greater concern and not healing of the soul. God cares about the circumcision of our hearts. Oh, come on now. That's so good. So there are some circumstances that God going to keep me in because he wants me to change. And I don't even know if this makes sense. That's so good. Because I think, and I get it, right? Because I think that we are finite human beings living in this earthly reality. And so a lot of our thinking is human. Oh, yeah. We're sick in this life. Finna, dude. And so we're assuming that God wants to heal in this life. But we have to understand that when we read the Word of... Or heal everything. Heal everything in his life. We have to understand that when we read the words of scriptures, we're reading the words of an eternal being. Not a being that's constricted by time, space and matter like we are. And so to automatically think when the Lord says, by my stripes, you will be healed means that you will be healed on this earth. It's unrealistic when he's an eternal God. Right. Ultimately, the ones who put their faith in Jesus will be healed eternally. Mm hmm. Like for eternity, if we place our faith in Jesus, there will be no no more sickness, no more pain. And if he chooses right to to heal on this earth for his glory, he'll do that. And so I think a lot of times we just kind of leave out according to his will when it comes to healing, because we're so we're just so human. You know what I'm saying? So I get it. I get that tension because I think if any of our loved ones get sick, I think the natural thing for us to do is to pray for healing. But to automatically assume that a person doesn't have faith and that's the reason why they're not healed is to say, no, God is a genie that performs depending on how strong our faith is and not according to his will. I just think that it's unbalanced. Because it's… And unbiblical. Sickness is inconvenient. And that's a part of what we want deliverance from. Yeah. Is the inconvenience of things. The pain in our bodies, the suffering that it puts in restraints that it puts on us and others. Like there's a lot of stuff that comes with suffering and sickness. You know what I'm saying? But it's like, I think we need to think more highly of God's ways where it's like it's in that place where you need me. It's in that place. And so because you need me, then you're actually depending on me in a particular way that not only sanctifies you, but clarifies your vision of me. And so it's the clarity of vision that also gives you joy in the suffering. And it's not as if God won't reward you. So because we got to bring that up, too. It was for the joy that was set before him that he endured despising the shame. When you look at Revelation, like you see that there are rewards for what like there is nothing that you will give up for Christ that he will not reward you in eternity. And so it's not as if we're suffering in vain. Don't grow weary in doing good. You know what I'm saying? Like God sees you and will give you power. And one thing that Johnny Erickson Tata talks about is how her suffering has increased her empathy for her neighbor. So we can, I think, lean and have a bent that is self-centered that says, oh, man, God got me going through all of this and da-da-da-da. But what if the comfort by which you are comforted helps you comfort other people? That's good. So what if, like, I have an eye towards autoimmune diseases that I've never had. I have a concern for the education of nurses and doctors about this disease that I have never considered. I'd be on TikTok looking at babies. I got diagnosed with type 1 at 36. It's babies that from the like they have that now. They got they got pumps on their arm now. You know what I'm saying? Their parents are putting insulin shots in them now. And I'm like that. I have it. I have an increase in love and care for my neighbor because of the lot that God has for me. That's good. And so I think consider also the ways that God has is training you to love people better because of the pain that he's allowing. That's good. Would you say would you say and I'm just really I'm just really excited to see what type of ministry the Lord birthed out of you? Because I don't know if there will be. Yeah, I think I think it is. I think it is. My mom's on my you're going to be a spokesperson for that. No, ma'am. No, I am making disciples of all nations. But I quickly want to say this, too. That's beautiful, babe. No, seriously. I quickly want to say this, too, as far as the thinking that a lot of people have that, man, this must be, you know, something you did or, you know, you don't have faith and yada, yada, yada. This is something that is not really new under the sun. What is faith? Faith, I think it's hope. It's hope. That's why it says faith is a substance of things hoped for. And the evidence of things not seen. So I think it's a looking forward to God doing things on your behalf. And that's the reason why when people's hope is destroyed, the faith is destroyed. Because you can't have hope without faith. But this is not new under the sun. I talk about John 9 a lot. It's probably my second favorite passage of all time. But in John 9 when the man When Jesus healed the man of blindness You might want to interrupt you Because I asked you about faith because we keep throwing that word around But it's like If we don't actually know what faith is Okay you want to explain it? Yeah because Faith is the substance of things Hope for Evidence of things not seen Like you said Faith is hope Faith isn't hope Hope is involved in faith And so hope says I trust God for the future. That's hope. And I think I just want people to hope in the nature of God, to have faith in the nature of God and how trusting who he is can actually inform what we trust him for. And what I mean by that is I'm going to say what I said in the beginning. If God is good. Yeah. If God is wise, if God is the creator of all things, then it's like there's times where I'm like, Lord, I'm very honest with him or try to be. Lord, I really want this to happen. I really want you to lift this. I really want you to deliver me from this. I really because I know that you can, but let me also pray in the direction of my heart. What wants what it wants, but I want to want what you want for me. Right. And so I'm not just praying for deliverance from the thing. I'm also praying for deliverance from me because I don't want me to get in the way of me and you. Does that make sense? And so like like widen your prayers in such a way where your faith is saying, no, if you can do all things, then you can do all things. And if you decide not to, then you obviously know what's better for me. And I think that would anchor us, one, to not be so frustrated when God says no. I think that would anchor us to not be self-righteous when people don't pray or hope in the way you think they should. You know what I'm saying? So I don't want people to say, I'm not like, are you saying we shouldn't have faith for healing? That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying have faith that says if he does or if he doesn't, I'm still going to trust him. I just feel like we have to like drill that into some of our friends. Talk about how much our desire to be in control gets in the way of that. Because I think that we control people. And I think innately all of us want to be God. We want to be our own gods. And we have control issues. Because I think it's scary to say, Lord, I put my whole hope that you know what you're doing with my life. Especially when you're faced with something like diabetes. I think it's easier. Sometimes it's like living in a reality that's not real reality. Sometimes it's more comforting to people to say, I know God is going to heal me in this life. than it is to say, I know God knows what he's doing and whatever he wants to do. You know what I'm saying? It's ultimately, you know what I'm saying? And I think so. Like how much how much of it do you think it's control? And how much of it do you think it's kind of just ignorance? I think it's all of it, because I want to be empathetic of people who have really serious conditions. You know, like I imagine that if one of our children got diagnosed with cancer, there would be a clinging to the reality of healing that is significant you know what i'm saying so i want to be sensitive to uh there are certain intensities and dimensions of suffering that i can't even identify with that would color how you approach this topic so i think some of it is it's just pain it's like lord please you know what i'm saying i think i think it's the entitlement that I'm after. So not the legitimate zeal and frustration and just weariness that comes with loving somebody or caring for somebody that's sick and all this stuff. It's the feeling as if you have the right to claim healing, the right to, what's the word, force God's hand. I decree and declare healing over your body and it's like, okay, I just feel like we got to kind of come to God with humility in the way we talk to him. You know what I'm saying? And so I do think that control for some people is a thing. And again, it's control because we're addicted to ease. And so what we do want to do is control our circumstances such a way where we live within all the things that happen to us in an easy way. And I was listening to this lecture where the teacher was saying a lot of our problems in life is because we are impatient with where eschatology is actually placed. What that means is eschatology is end times. And so ultimately, a lot of us just want heaven now. And so a lot of our theology, a lot of our frustration, a lot of our addictions, because we are trying to bring heaven to today when that's not how it's set up. And so there is pain today. There is suffering today. There is sickness today. There is that. It won't always be that way, but it is right now. But so in the meantime, we can't bring that here. Yeah, we can. Like we do have God with us. Does it make sense what I'm saying? Yeah, it makes a lot of sense. It's like it's like. Yeah, because even when the when when the scripture talks about suffering, it all like it often talks about suffering. suffering in this present day, in this present time, but it immediately tells you to look forward. Yes. Right. And so the sufferance of this present time is not worthy to be compared to the glory that shall be revealed in us in Christ Jesus. Correct. And so I think a lot of times we're just not heavenly minded. Correct. Right. And so kind of what you just said, like, I think God just wants us to look to heaven more. Yeah. He wants us to be he wants us like because if if and that's probably why we're not yeah i just had an epiphany because i i if i'm honest i i've fallen in that that we all do yeah like wanting heaven now yeah and that's probably why i don't look forward to heaven as much you know i'm saying and so if you if you if you just accept the fact that we live in a fallen world a broken world a sinful world and then god is going to heal sometimes and he's not going to heal sometimes, but ultimately what he wants us to look to is eternity with him. I think it'll change our perspectives. And what I'm not trying to say is that we shouldn't be in expectation for God to move on this earth. Oh, yeah. Right. Because we see that. Like going back to John 9, like God healed that man because he said, because he was blind so that the glory can be revealed in him, right, on earth. But it's so many people that Jesus walked past and he didn't heal correct right there's a lot of people there's a lot of people that he didn't heal and it wasn't because of their faith it's just because god in his sovereignty chose not to do it yeah right and so i think that we just have to change our perspective i'm trying to gather my thoughts because i think our perspectives if someone is not listening well can sound pessimistic a little bit like so you saying god just want me to be in pain and to suffer and to be sick and just trust that he'll do it in his time. Like it can sound like, I think people can hear it and feel like it sounds not hopeful or lighthearted. Yeah. And that, I don't want to come across that way. I think, I just think when I look at the life of Jesus, when I look at the life of Moses, when I look at the life of Paul, even Paul in particular, when you read the book of Philippians, there is, there is, Paul is going through great trial and great difficulties. difficulty. He is in jail, yet at the same time, he has joy. And so there is the possibility that you can be in pain and have joy. There is the reality that you can go through things and have a satisfaction in God that is just ridiculous. And what if it's the circumstance and what if it's the thing that gives you access to that joy? You know what I'm saying? So I think I just want us to broadening our understanding of what God might be doing through these sicknesses and the things that he's allowed us to go through. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's, that's beautiful. And I think ultimately what I would want people to hear from me is I think what the Lord wants us, and this is very simple, but I think what the Lord ultimately wants us to have is more of him. Right and this is the reason why We have to understand that when the bible says that god is good Everything that he allows us to go through It is ultimately to give to give us more of the of the good thing which is himself And so everything that we go through He's not doing it because you have some secret sin in your life He's not doing it because you didn't pray and like he's doing it because he's trying to reveal more of him to you because he knows that's the best thing for you. Correct. And I think that if we think about it that way, is that God does everything for the good of those who love him and who are called according to his purpose. Correct. And so even if he allows you to go through a suffering, it is for your good. When the Bible says that we can do all things through Christ who strengthen us, it talks about even the hard things, right? Can you speak to I think it's helpful to acknowledge How God feels about suffering And even sickness that's caused By being sinned against Because I can anticipate What do you mean? I'm sorry I can anticipate somebody hearing us talk all about this And being like so when I was molested that was good for me Oh yeah When I you know when my partner gave me a sexually transmitted disease you saying God used that to humble me I think we have to address that. And I feel like you've addressed that before at like a show you did with Ezekiel once. Yeah, because I think the reality is, is that we live in a fallen world, a broken world. You live in a world where you're going to have to do life with other broken human beings who are going to sin against you. And I think that when we think about God's sovereignty, God never promised us that bad things will not happen to us. But he does show us in the scriptures that he's sovereign over all bad things that happen Right and so that I think I think trusting in a God who's not sovereign over Evil is actually the scariest thing Like like so so so I think we have to look at it that way Like God do allow things to happen because he knows that in his sovereignty He can work out all things for the good of those who love him and who call it according to his purpose. I'll give you a prime example. Your life. You know what I'm saying? I think about your life often, and I think about your molestation. But I think about how the book Gay Girl God. Terrible, terrible, terrible boy. Right. We shouldn't laugh about that. I'm trying not to laugh at crazy stuff because you're very... I just feel like I can make fun of my. It's going left. Go ahead. No, you can't. I'm not making fun of it. I'm just saying. That was terrible. Ruined my life. But no, listen. But listen, though. I dare him. It didn't, though, babe. Because, listen, do you know how many people have been blessed and healed and delivered through your testimony? that God used. And that's what I mean, that all things do like literally all things do work out for the good of those who love God and who are called according to his purpose. And so I think God does things ultimately for his glory. And also he brings he wants to bring healing and, you know, restoration to our to our souls as well. But I think that he uses all things for his glory. And I think that so just trusting to answer your question, trusting that God is sovereign over all things, I think shifts our perspective because what we don't want to live, we don't want to live in a world where we believe in purposeless evil, like a world where God just allows things to happen to us for no purpose. That's actually scary. But if there's a purpose to my suffering, now we see the greater good of suffering. We see that God does it for his glory. He does it for my good Whether I'm doing bad in this season It's for his glory It's for my good Whether I'm prospering in this season It's for his glory It's for my good And I think that's I think thinking like that helps shifts Our hearts and our minds To know that whatever I'm going through Even if I don't see it It's ultimately for the Lord's glory Ultimately for my good Yeah I would add that Having a solid theology Informed by scripture on God's justice and vengeance is helpful. Yes. Right. So it isn't as though if God had allowed sovereignly for me to be sinned against in particular ways, whether that's through molestation, whether that's through fatherlessness, whether that's through abuse, whether that's through betrayal, whether that's through slander, whether that like whatever the offense is, it isn't as though God is up in the sky on his throne like, yes, they are going through something because I'm going to get glory. God grieves sin. Yeah, he does. God grieves abuse. God grieves that stuff. And he's angry at it, too. There is there is wrath being stored up. So it isn't as it like I don't want us to hear, oh, God is sovereign and doing all things for his glory as if God takes joy in evil. Yes. As if God takes joy in wickedness. That's not true. And so I think what you can anchor your faith and your hope and be frustrated, be confused and bring that to the Lord. Scripture gives us so much room to say this stuff to God. We got lamentations. We got Psalm 88. We got Jesus on the cross. We got a lot of evidence in Scripture of people going through stuff and like, why are you allowing this? Where are you at? What is going on? and allowing the Holy Spirit to come in at that part and reshape your perspective so that you trust him and don't blaspheme him in your questioning. Now, so I think the vengeance piece and the justice piece says one day God will make all wrongs right. That's why I got beef with people that don't believe in hell because they think that their view of justice and all of that is so like yeah ethical like you know what i'm saying like to do away with hell is somehow like the like top tier human thing but it's like do you realize that if we do away with hell then every single person that was a part of the holocaust that didn't get some type of penalty of it on earth they just they just get to walk away yeah every person who's raped a child or every person who's abused a person or every person who's killed somebody who had no penalty no exposure, no consequence. They literally got away with it. It is hell that tells me God is going to deal with all injustice, all sin, all wickedness against me and against others. To me, that says, oh, I bet. Yeah. You care. Yeah. That's why the gospel is so beautiful. Tell me about it. The gospel is so beautiful because it teaches us that that we all deserve hell. We all deserve damnation. But for those who place their faith in Jesus. Right. Right. It is now his righteousness that has been imputed unto us. And through the life, death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ, we are forgiven. But to your point, I got beef with them, too, because it's like, bro, you think Hitler just got out like he just in the dirt? Because if that's the case, then suicide functioned as a deliverance. It's like I was about to smack you with scripture. I'm saying that means if I can sin and sin and sin and sin and sin and kill myself and escape the consequences. When in reality, according to scripture, he he he delivered himself into the hands of the judge. And that gives me hope that every single thing that you did wrong on earth, you have to pay for it. You have to pay for it. And so I think knowing that vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, can kind of comfort me in my affliction. But it also, I think. You're talking about, I mean, in your affliction as it pertains to being sinned against. If you're sinned against. Yeah, right, right, right. Because I know people who have sexually transmitted diseases because their partner didn't tell them. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? You have people who have been under crazy and wild abuse who can hear God gets glory out of my suffering and think that God is not vengeful against the people who cause you to suffer. This is the reason why I'm sorry if I stray off, just just bring me back in. But this is the reason why I think it's so important for us to understand why God tells us to pray for our enemies. Because It's funny how this conversation is becoming But it's necessary But it's true because it's like If I belong to God God is saying this person Caused some type of affliction, ailment Gave you a sexually transmitted disease Molested you or whatever But because I'm an eternal God You have to understand that you're going to spend eternity with me If nobody prays for them They're going to spend eternity in hell Right and so when we think about God's justice in that way What if you want them to? No, I'm not saying for me. I'm just, yeah, yeah. I want to minister to that person. Like, oh, I want to go there. I ain't going to pray for them. Yeah. I think we should start studying eternity. Because it's like. You look like a dad. No, seriously. Seriously, start studying. Just start meditating on what forever is. like because because you you know and i thought about this no like i thought about this about the man who killed my uncle that man i didn't love nobody as much as i loved that dude at that time in my life your uncle my uncle and somebody like literally like in the blink of an eye took him away from me now you know not only did i want him to die but i was like man i hope he burn in hell this I wasn't a Christian, you know what I'm saying? I was a believer at this time. But as a Christian, you know, when you start to think about this eternal God who like the Bible calls him the ancient of days and we will live with him like 10,000 years will go by. And I will still be with the Lord. Like to think about somebody, your worst enemy, spending eternity separated from a holy and a righteous God. And people be thinking hell is scary because the devil is there. Hell is scary because God is there. God is there. Right? And so to think about somebody experiencing God for all of eternity, absent from his peace, absent from his joy, absent from his love, absent from his forgiveness, absent from his peace. And all you are experiencing is the wrath of God for all of eternity. Yeah. Like if you meditate on that, that'll make you pray for your worst enemies. I think so. Because I think there is nothing that can happen to us on this earth that can want somebody to go to hell if we truly think about it. You know what I'm saying? And so like. Especially being conscious of the gospel. You know, a gospel consciousness says, man, what I want for them, I deserve to. Yes. Right. And so but God and his kindness has forgiven me and has made me his own. And I don't deserve to be that. So so that that's and the Holy Spirit produces that compassion. You know what I'm saying? And so we just have to ask him, like, Lord, help me have compassion on my enemies as I pray for them. Those who have not loved me, honored me, all the stuff. I think I want to add to this conversation about trusting God's sovereignty as it relates to even being sinned against and the suffering that comes by way of that. Yeah. By reminding ourselves that God has not called us to endure or experience anything that he himself doesn't relate to. Yeah. Again, going back into sharing and the sufferings, but from a different angle, because it's like the God of the universe, the God of all glory, the creator of all things. As long as humans have existed, God is always being sinned against. Always. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? There's not one moment. He's always being offended. He's always being people talk crazy about him, lie on him, use his gifts, use their bodies, use their mind. Like even everything we have is his. So he's being exploited. And so it's like God is. Yeah, I think he understands on a completely different degree on what it is to be sinned against and yet comes to earth. Right. Yeah. Yet dies on a cross and yet praise for the people. And so that's to say that God not only empathizes with your weakness as it relates to temptation, but God also empathizes with your weakness on what it's like to bear up under suffering. Suffering that is in accord with the will of God. That's what Gethsemane was. And so I think meditating on the cross or all of that helps us to just kind of have a different perspective. Meditating on the fact that God is not allowing you to go through something that he hasn't first went through. like he is on a completely different degree and but but also meditating on the fact that he's truly innocent yeah and he's truly blameless yeah a lot of us feel like we've been wronged against and in some instances we were innocent legit when i was five i shouldn't have been right yeah but we're not holistically innocent no right right and so like he there's no bad in him and not only was he sinned against and betrayed on when he came to the earth but even to this day to your point he's he's still you know um read something i want to ask you a question go ahead i know some people can say this sounds good it sounds easy oh it ain't to or you guys make it sound easy to say you should walk in forgiveness um for somebody who has caused great suffering in life uh you know they you know you have a baby father who's caused you great grief you have a father who didn't you know take care of you abandoning you you know and all it is but like what does that practically look like and i know you've talked about walking in forgiveness with people who've caused you you know suffering in pain but like what does that practically look like you're gonna hate my answer if it's an honest answer like it's gonna be brief. Even if you don't say what it practically looks like, what are some steps to help somebody move towards that type of forgiveness, especially forgiving somebody who's currently causing suffering in their life right now? I'm going to say, listen to our conversation with Yana, link in bio. I'm going to say, listen to our conversation with Jada Edwards, link in bio. I'm going to say listen to our conversation with Tony Collier after. I think those will give you all that you need. OK. And then next to that, again, I think meditation on the cross is a thing. And I'll just say one very even in therapy, I think it's helpful. I think one small but significant process we can neglect is not just prayer, but a prayer of dependence that says the fruit of the spirit is required for me to let this go. Right. So I need love. I need patience. I need kindness. I need self-control All of that is required To Do all the stuff And it's like God is not calling us to grit and bear it He's calling us to rely on him To produce in us all that's required To obey him And so I think just being very specific in our prayer Like Holy Spirit do this work in me Yeah that's good I just wanted to read something But it's not where I thought it was And I don't know where to find it What is it about? It was like in us talking about pain and sickness and suffering and being sinned against just again, looking at the life of Christ. And I'll just say it this way. I think when you look at his three years of ministry and just look at all that he went through and then consider the fact that like as he moves towards the end of his mission, things get worse. things get harder, things get more. But it's like he set his face like Flint towards Jerusalem. He just kept moving in the direction of the will of God, even as it got harder to do so. And then on that cross, you know, he's dealing with people blaspheming him and taunting him. And then he has to endure the wrath of God. He is absorbing the wrath of God for the sins of the world but then then then he says it's finished he gives up the ghost he goes in the grave and he rises with all power you know and the bible says like that he was like what's the philippians verse he something about he was called lord and oh yeah yeah yeah uh every every every knee will bow under heaven under earth and every tongue shall confess that jesus christ is the lord the god the father. Philippians 2. Yeah, we're not going to be exalted as Lord, but we will be exalted. We're not going to be glorified as the Lord of heaven and glory, but we will get glory. And so we don't know how long we're going to be here. You understand what I'm saying? And so that glory set before us has to drive everything. It has to drive how we think about pain, has to drive out we think about sickness has to drive out we think about our enemies have to drive out if it does not we won't glorify him nor will we have joy in the pain yeah it's those two perspectives that help us to let like we are here on a mission yeah yeah that's so good one day i'm trying to tell you we just we're gonna be up there be like oh i get it yeah i get it you knew what you were doing. Yeah. Talking about suffering often lets me know what encourages me because it reminds me that the Lord really wants to be our hiding place because we're fragile beings affected by sin, affected by ailments. I mean, we're not really going to escape suffering in this world. Scripture tells us it's going to happen by some measure. Some of us are going to suffer greater in some areas than others. But the Lord does let us know we can hide him. And I love the scripture where it says that my life is hidden in Christ. And when Christ, who is my life, appears, then will I appear with him also in glory. And so, like, man, it lets us know that, man, like on this earth, we're not going to escape suffering, but we do have a place because God sent his spirit to this earth. We can dwell with him now. We can hide in him now. We can commune with him now and when he reveals his glory in the end we will be revealed with him and so i think that's just um always encouraging me to look towards glory in heaven to know that i'll i'll be glorified with my my savior one day yeah all right bye amen with the paris is produced by the paris with support from amanda reed and channing mcbride video recording and audio production by Matthew Baxter and Xavier Fairley. Edited by the team at Tread Lively. Artwork by Hobb and music by Swoop. Thank you for listening. Now go with God.