The Real Housewives of Antifa

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. October 10th was World Mental Health Day, and this year we're saying thank you therapists. BetterHelp Therapist has helped over 5 million people worldwide on their mental health journeys. That's millions of stories, and behind everyone is a therapist who showed up, listened, and helped someone take a step forward. Moments in therapy, like the right question, a safe space to cry, or a small win, can change lives. This World Mental Health Day, BetterHelp is honoring those connections in the therapist who make them possible, while showing how easy it is to get guidance from a licensed therapist online with BetterHelp. John and I are both therapy boys. Sure are. And it's made a big difference. That's what we tell ourselves. I think it has. I know it has. And that's all that matters. That's what therapy is all about. Yeah, it's all about what happens up in here. This is your mind is the scene of the crime. And you know what? I'm not going to tell you a moment in therapy that made an impact on me, because that's why I did it in therapy and not here on the podcast. I do a lot of therapy here on the podcast. That's a different kind of therapy than the kind of therapy I have with a therapist. BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the U.S. BetterHelp does the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences. And our 10 years of experience in industry-leading match fulfillment rate means we typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from our tailored Rex with over 30,000 therapists. BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. And it works with an average rating of 4.9 out of 5 for a live session based on over 1.7 million client reviews. This world mental health, they were celebrating the therapist who have helped millions of people take a step forward. If you're ready to find the right therapist for you, BetterHelp can help you start that journey. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com slash love it. That's better, H-E-L-P dot com slash love it. What's up Los Angeles? Welcome to Love It or Leave It Live at Dynasty Typewriter. It is wonderful to see all of you for our quarterly Antifa board meeting. Kennedy's going to take the minutes. We'll start with new business. Any new business? Got George Soros on Zoom. George are on mute. We've got a great show for you tonight. Phoebe Robinson is here. We're going to talk about sugar daddies and salty grandpas. Daniel Schneider is here. And we wouldn't dare throw stones at glasshousewives. And at the end, we all tuck our napkins in our shirts and cut into a little slice of beef. That sounded weird. It must be fine. It's about beefs, you know? Talking about beefs. But first, let's get into it. What a week. Now, last weekend, federal judge Karen Imergut, a Trump appointee, temporarily blocked the administration from sending troops to Portland, Oregon, writing, This country has a longstanding and foundational tradition of resistance to government overreach, especially in the form of military intrusion into civil affairs. This historical tradition boils down to a simple proposition. This is a nation of constitutional law, not martial law. Like Trump, the founding fathers had tertiary syphilis and thought owning slaves was cool, but that is where the similarities end. On Sunday, Imergut issued a new broader order preventing Trump from deploying any state's National Guard troops to Oregon after the administration tried to weasel around her earlier order by sending hundreds of California National Guard members instead, sending Californians to Oregon against our will, forcing us to change our mental models in which there is literally nothing north of San Francisco. And Mount Shasta is the start of an unmapped, untamed wilderness that we know as the North that extends to Alaska and then the North Pole. That's fascism. On Monday, the state of Illinois and city of Chicago sued the Trump administration. Here's what Illinois Governor JB Pritzker said. I'm not afraid. I am not afraid and I won't back down. Oh, I'm sorry. That was actually from just before he tackled Fat Rosy's El Patron Gordo Burrito Challenge in Naperville. Let's go to what he actually said about this. The state of Illinois is going to use every lever at our disposal to resist this power grab and get Noam's thugs the hell out of Chicago. Oh, yeah. Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson announced Monday that all city-owned property will become ice-free zones where federal immigration agents were prohibited from carrying out raids. Ice-free zone. What is this? A glass of water in Europe? Thank you. After a Biden-appointed judge declined to intervene, 200 Texas National Guard troops arrived in Illinois while about 300 Illinois troops prepared to deploy to Chicago. Imagine the freaking freak out if Texas suddenly found troops setting foot in their state uninvited from Illinois. Imagine how many militias would pop up called the Waco Skullfuckers. Like overnight. Meanwhile, Trump repeatedly threatened to invoke the Insurrection Act of Democratic governors and the courts keep defying him. We have an Insurrection Act for a reason. If I had to enact it, I'd do that. If people were being killed and courts were holding us up or governors or mayors were holding us up, sure, I'd do that. We have an Insurrection Act for a reason, like in case I accidentally appointed a judge who went to law school or if a mayor is black. On Wednesday, Trump wrote on True Social, Chicago Mayor should be in jail for failing to protect ICE officers Governor Pritzker also. And Speaker of the House Mike Johnson dodged a question about it. If you agree that the mayor of Chicago and the governor of Illinois should be in prison? Should they be in prison? Should the mayor of Chicago and the governor of Illinois be in prison? I'm not the Attorney General. I'm the Speaker of the House and I'm trying to manage the chaos here. I'm not following the day-to-day on that. What a fucking weasel. Should my political opponents be jailed? I'm not the Attorney General. Should we nuke the moon? I'm not a scientist. Should a man feel an electric pounding in his chest, a pulsing tingle in his fingertips, a flush in his face that he can't gulp down when those rippling midshipmen climb the Herndon monument? I'm not a doctor. Also on Wednesday, Trump hosted a White House roundtable on Antifa, where Attorney General Pam Bondi offered this. Just like we did with cartels, we're going to take the same approach President Trump with Antifa. Destroy the entire organization from top to bottom. Tough day for Antifa's board of directors. Good luck killing something that only exists in your minds. Up here in my brain, I'm fully bald and I'm still in the dressing room of a Long Island boys department waiting for the store clerk to hand my mom a pair of slacks from the Husky department. A Husky section. Actually, this is a real story, which is I was in the dressing room. I don't remember what led to this moment. Those parts of the memory are gone, but I'm in it. And you know, it was like a boys clothing store that used to exist. I don't know if it still does. I'm an old man now. But it was the one where there were the two swinging doors, and I could just see the slit and I saw the person that worked at the store go up to my mother and whisper, I'm afraid he's going to need the Husky. Anywho, here's what the president had to say. So I have the secret annex behind my bookcase all ready to go, but George Soros told me he can't fall asleep in a room without a Brancusi and it's like, buddy, maybe worry less about a bird in space and more about a Hungarian in prison. Okay, so let me walk you through what happened there. The original draft of the joke written by a reasonable and good comedy writer, Hada Da Vinci and me, because I'm fucking broken, decided to Google most expensive statue sales, which led me to Brancusi, someone I remember from Art History 101, as someone who evolved the form of the statue to these extenuated kind of abstracted but still related to real animals. And one of them was a bird, a really stretched out bird that was called bird in space. I remembered this and I thought, oh, that'll be fucking perfect. That's exactly what comedy is. Home land security secretary and woman who's injector told her therapist she hates confrontation. Kristi Noem, I just have problems saying no to people and I think it's affecting my work. Kristi Noem jumped in with this. This network of Antifa is just as sophisticated as MS-13, as TDA, as ISIS, as Hezbollah, as Hamas, as all of them. They are just as dangerous. They have an agenda to destroy us just like the other terrorists we've dealt with for many, many years. Antifa is just as dangerous as Hamas. On Kibai Wall Street couldn't hold Zucati Park for two months once it got cold and they banned the plaza because it was distressing to vulnerable groups. Noem also made this baffling claim. One of the individuals we arrested recently in Portland was the girlfriend of one of the founders of Antifa and that we are hoping that as we go after her, interview her and prosecute her, we will get more and more information about the network and how we can root them out. Unfortunately, the interrogation won't go anywhere because the woman in question is a 93-year-old telegraph operator from a village in Kent near Chartwell who lied about fucking Winston Churchill to impress an immigration officer in 1973 and she just had to keep up the story ever since. Because her boyfriend founded Antifa. Winston Churchill, huh? He's on the Antifa board of directors along with FDR and Stalin but we don't... Trump said this about unlawful detentions. Have you given any more thought to possibly suspending Amias Corpus to not only deal with these insurrectionists across the nation but also to continue rapidly deporting illegal aliens? Yeah, is suspending who? Amias Corpus, so... I don't know, I'd rather leave that to Christie. I'd rather leave that to Christie said no one looking for a pet sitter. At the Trump-Ballicking Contest this week, what used to be known as the Cabinet Meeting, Nome offered this. And then I was in Portland, went out and back on Tuesday and met with the governor, met with the mayor, met with the chief of police and the superintendent of the Highwood Patrol. They are all lying and disingenuous and dishonest people. Portland, disingenuous. There are many things you can say about the people of Portland. For what you see is what you get. They do not put on airs. They don't even put on deodorant. But don't worry, the Cabinet Meeting wasn't entirely about eating ass and cracking down. There's two studies that show children who are circumcised early have double the rate of autism. It's highly likely because they're given Tylenol. This is obviously ridiculous. If being circumcised made you autistic, then why are all the prom kings Jewish? And lots of people have very specific rules about what foods can't touch each other. Speaking of people who love rules, the Democrats are fighting back in Congress after refusing to provide the votes to fund the government without concessions on healthcare. The conventional wisdom was that Democrats would be blamed the way Republicans were blamed for a shutdown when they were in the minority. But that's not what's happening a week into the shutdown. Polling shows Republicans taking just as much heat in part because as CBS reported, 75% of people do not believe the Trump administration is focusing enough on lowering prices and Democrats have made the shutdown a referendum on healthcare costs. And in what can only be described as a rift in the space-time continuum, the Democratic strategy appears to be working. On Monday, Georgia congresswoman and broken clock, Marjorie Taylor Greene turned on her Republican colleagues and demanded action on expiring Obamacare subsidies to prevent premiums from spiking. Marjorie Taylor Greene, first you flipped a tire and then you flipped our hearts. Here's what Greene said on social media, not a single Republican in leadership. Talk to us about this or has given us a plan to help Americans deal with their health premiums doubling. In fairness to Republicans in leadership, they've got to really psych themselves up before talking to Marjorie about anything. Here's MTG on CNN, on the bad advice Trump is getting. Well, I don't think it's good advice that a government shutdown is going to help Republicans in the midterms. I don't agree with that. I also don't think it's good advice that Republicans ignoring the health insurance crisis is going to be good for midterms. I actually think that would be very bad for midterms. Perhaps Marjorie Taylor Greene is turning over a new leaf and from now on, we can expect a more thoughtful, considered, oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, this just in. I'm getting late breaking word that Marjorie Taylor Greene is screaming about rabbi Gavin Newsom while guzzling the liquid from a magic eight ball. Speaking of outlook, not so good from 4.15pm to 10pm on Monday, there were no air traffic controllers at Burbank airport, resulting in flight delays and cancellations, more like the Bob Hope This Plane Doesn't Crash Airport. But for those five hours and 45 minutes in that glorious moment, LAX was the best airport in Los Angeles. According to multiple reports due to all the chaos, it was taking some travelers at Burbank as long as 50 seconds to get to their gates. Air traffic controllers are considered essential government employees and have to work without pay during the shutdown, but transportation secretary Sean Duffy said there has been a slight uptick in sick calls. Come on air traffic controllers, we need somebody to blow on that giant floppy disk we still use to keep the airplanes up in the sky. We're sorry you're not being paid, we are sorry we failed to invest in technology to upgrade our air traffic control system for decades, and we're sorry about 1999's Pushing 10, which just happened to fall in the post-sling blade afterglow, where we thought Billy Bob Thornton, while a great actor, was right for everything and we were wrong. We were just wrong. We got too excited in that moment about Billy Bob Thornton and we can't fix that, but we can just express our apologies for 1999's Pushing 10. Slightly more recognizable than Brincuzzi. Republicans on their heels over healthcare are trying hardball tactics claiming federal workers may not get their back pay, despite the law explicitly guaranteeing it, and promising to target Democrats to feel the pain of the shutdown. Here's Trump at the cabinet meeting Thursday. And we'll be making cuts that will be permanent, and we're only going to cut Democrat programs, I hate to tell you. They're only coming for the Democrat programs, RIP to the small business administration's loan program for barber shops that only do lesbian fades, RIP to the public library fund that lets kids read to drag queens. RIP to the grant program that pays people to tweet at me personally every time I have a Starbucks cup on the table during a Pod Save America recording. RIP to the education department's pilot project, American History OOPS All Slavery. So what happens next? Well, a new CBS poll found that a majority of voters view the Republican party as strong and extreme, with majority describing the Democratic party as weak and ineffective. A funding fight about healthcare is a story about Republicans being extreme. If Democrats cave, it's a story about Democrats being weak and ineffective. I was ambivalent, to be honest, about what Democrats should do. Why shut the government when Republicans are failing without our help? Why make the fight over healthcare funding when there are massed agents in the streets, when the administration is lawlessly cutting funding passed by Congress, when we have a president openly targeting his political enemies and brazenly corrupting the office? How can we fund a government that's out of control? And if we do get concessions on healthcare, aren't we helping Republicans avoid the pain and blowback of their own policies? But we made the fight over healthcare and now we have to win that fight. And not only do we have to win it, we have to win it in such a way that the American people understand who got it done. Can we do that? Can Democrats do that? I genuinely don't know, but it seems to me that America's problem isn't failing to understand what Trump represents. It's a failure to appreciate what we represent. And given how Republicans have abdicated all responsibility, if we want to defend our democracy against Trump, we have to win the midterms. That also means unrigging the midterms. And so I just want to take a moment to remind everybody, Republicans in Texas, they are gerrymandering their way to five more house seats in the midterms. Prop 50 here in California is how we fight back by allowing California to redraw our maps and match those gains. Because if we don't take back the house, the CEO of Antifa told me no bonuses this year. Absentee ballots are heading out right now in California. Drop boxes are open. Early in-person voting starts October 25th. Talk to your friends. Reach out to your crust. Use this to remind your ex that you're thriving or that you're desperate. Either way, you can find more information at votesaveamerica.com slash prop 50. Get everybody in your life to make sure they get those ballots in, that they vote yes on prop 50. We've got to do this to give ourselves a fighting chance to take back the house. And if we do, we can win it. As we saw this week, Republicans will never hold this administration accountable. Attorney General and person who is 20 minutes late for your lunch and mad at you about the traffic, Pam Bondi, appeared before the Senate Judiciary Committee this week and refused to answer questions on a wide range of Trump administration scandals. My question was, what became of the $50,000 in cash that the FBI delivered evidently in a paper bag to Mr. Homan? Senator, I'd look at your facts. Are you saying that they did not deliver $50,000 in cash to Mr. Homan? Senator, as recently stated, the investigation of Mr. Homan was subjected to a full review. They found no evidence of wrongdoing. That's a different question. What became of the $50,000? Did the FBI get it back? Senator Whitehouse, you're welcome to talk to the FBI. The report to you, can't you answer this question? Did Homan keep the $50,000? She doesn't ever answer. It's so easy to say no. In the part where, when Pam Bondi is going back and forth with Schiff, she redounds to, look, man, this was before my time. Before my time, if Homan didn't take the cash, that's a terrible answer for him. I want you all to know something. If I am ever in a sting operation with FBI agents dressed up as contractors trying to bribe me, and I say no to $50,000 in cash, tell everybody about it. Besides, I do think Tom Homan's new Birkenbag speaks for itself. When Illinois Senator Dick Durbin pressed Bondi to justify Trump's deployment of the National Guard, Bondi said this. The National Guard is on the way right now as we speak. Oh, by the way, so is Director Patel and Deputy Attorney General Todd Blanche. You're sitting here grilling me, and they're on their way to Chicago to keep your state safe. Madam Attorney General, it's my job to grill you. And it's my job to grill you, said a Coke Kettish JB Pritzker, to the biggest kill boss that you've ever seen. I want to go for a meal with JB Pritzker. I feel like I could surprise him. I feel like I could really, I feel like I, like, you know, I don't take them in jail for a week or two. I'm back, baby. I'm back, baby. I genuinely do. I mean this. I'm like realizing this is a genuine desire that I have. I would like to go to Illinois and impress JB Pritzker with the amount of food I can eat. Meanwhile, their prosecutors in her own office refused to pursue the charges. Trump's new DOJ Stooge, Lindsey Howigan, had to recruit outside prosecutors to take James Comey to trial. Luckily, they're plentiful around stop drains and standing pools of water. Last week, an FBI agent was suspended after refusing to arrange a perp walk of James Comey in front of news cameras. And this obviously sucks because it's obviously terribly wrong, but that perp walk also would have been for me. It's wrong. It's wrong. It's wrong. Wrong. Comey was subsequently arraigned on Wednesday with no perp walk. After all, explain the FBI. We didn't realize how tall he was and we got scared. And then on Thursday, Halligan's Hooligans indicted New York Attorney General Tish James on charges of bank fraud. Halligan herself had to present evidence to the grand jury. This follows reports that Elizabeth UC, who oversees major criminal prosecutions in that district, reportedly believed there wasn't enough evidence to justify charges. But if you want a job done right, you got to do it yourself, said Lindsey Halligan, while asking chat GPT for advice on what to wear to a grand jury and accidentally emailing your opening statement to a woman named Pam Bonstein in Phoenix, Arizona. Both Tish James and James Comey have said the prosecutions against them are politically motivated, which won't be a very hard case to make, because a new Wall Street Journal story claims that last month's true social post in which Trump demanded that Bondi go after Comey and his other enemies was intended to be a direct message and that Trump was surprised to learn it had been public. I am surprised to learn that the president writes that way privately and he is talking to his attorney general through the fucking instant messenger on truth social. It's unbelievable. This is Trump's first ever mistake. Speaking of guys on a roll, the Nobel Peace Prize winner is set to be announced on Friday. Trump got his submission in Under the Wire announcing a peace deal between Hamas and Israel Wednesday evening. You'll know more than me because by the time this episode comes out, we'll already know who won the Nobel Peace Prize, but I'm assuming he didn't win and then he vowed to burn Norway to the ground. Is that what happened? Israel Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu posted an AI image of Trump winning the Nobel Peace Prize in celebration, tweeting, give Donald Trump the Nobel Peace Prize. He deserves it. Look, Benjamin Netanyahu is a monster and so this is beside the point, but can we follow the logic on this please? The more Trump is deserving of a Nobel Peace Prize, that means the harder it was to get you, Benjamin Netanyahu, to stop raising Gaza and murdering civilians. It's not like the Pakistani Taliban was like big ups to Malala, you've got this girl. The Nobel Institute released a statement saying the winner was already decided Monday, reportedly out of a fear that Trump's reprisal would follow against Norway because he's going to lose the Nobel Peace Prize. Give me your nicest guy award or I'll fucking destroy you. It seems like a weird strategy, but if it didn't work, why did everybody thank Harvey Weinstein at the Oscars? I will also say just in all seriousness, I really hope that the deal holds to end the senseless killing and destruction in Gaza, to return the hostages, to see some glimmer of hope and if there's any part of you that feels conflicted about that because it looks like Trump is getting credit, don't think of it as a deal that makes Trump look good. Think of it as a deal that makes Joe Biden look even worse. I don't understand that. And again, I've said this to audiences, if you're not where I am now, that's fine, catch up. My darkness is a week or two ahead of yours. And maybe America's great liberal audience of people will for once over the next year or two, figure out how to stop being both the most completely informed and consistently surprised human beings on earth. That is my hope for us. Is that possible? Do you think that we as a group of people that credit ourselves as being the most informed might also take a look as to why we are also continuously the most shocked? Is there something to interrogate in that? I've taken a job at Barry Weiss's CBS. Uh, no. And finally, Taylor Swift has released a new album, The Life of a Showgirl, and it's set off quite a stir. One song in particular called Wood, sure seems to be an ode to Travis Kelcey's Big Ol' Shlong. Travis was flattered, but being a man, he would have rather the song be about how big his podcast is. Considering the renowned guys that Taylor Swift has dated, it's hard not to take it as a backhanded insult to the many other penises of her famous exes. Not Carly Closs though, obviously, because she has a huge dick. And get this, we have unearthed the unreleased lyrics that were cut from the song for being too specific. And so I will share them now. Taylor Laughtner, more like Taylor Nottle Laughtner, Tom Hiddleston, more like Tom Littleston, and finally, Joe Alwyn, more like Joe Albauls. Next up, Phoebe Robinson is just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to pay her. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Prolon. Do you love going out with friends? Yes. Does all that eating and drinking take a toll? Of course it does. 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Prolon has been shown to support biological age reduction, metabolic health, skin appearance, fat loss, and energy. Next Gen builds on the original Prolon with 100% organic soups and teas, a richer taste, and ready to eat meals. For a limited time, Prolon is offering listeners 15% off-site-wide, plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their five-day program. Just visit prolonlife.com slash love it. That's P-R-O-L-O-N-L-I-F-E dot com slash love it to claim your 15% discount. And your bonus gift, prolonlife.com slash love it. And we're back. Please welcome to the stage the one girl wants to rule them all. It's the hilarious Phoebe Robinson. Hi. Welcome. It's good to see you. Thank you for being here. Please. How's everybody doing? Hi. How you doing? I'm good. I'm happy to be here. Look at all this. You got this screen. You got this audience. You're doing it. Yeah. Thanks for saying that. So you're doing it as well. You have a new special. It is called I don't want to work anymore. No. Right? It's like working is so ghetto. I'm like, please, I can't do this shit anymore. On her album, Life of a Showgirl, Taylor Swift asked the question, did you girlboss too close to the sun? Do you feel as though you've girlbossed too close to the sun? I just, she is so tiresome. I mean, I was a workaholic for a long time. So I, yeah, I think coming up in the early aughts, everybody could hustle, get on your grind. You're going to be doing all the things. And I just got to a point where I was like, is this all worth it? I don't feel like I'm enjoying what I'm doing. I'm just like, check on to the next thing. Check on to the next thing. So it just felt a little bit like not joyful anymore. Oh, counterpoint. I don't think that matters. I think you should keep working. I know, but I'm tired. Listen. Yeah, yeah, no, but here's the thing. Stephen King wrote an article about being super prolific and it's stuck with me forever. Yeah. Because he said Shakespeare wrote a lot of plays, but he hasn't written one in 400 years. Everyone's dry spell lasts till the heat death of the universe. Stephen, I love you, Stephen. But as a black woman, I've had to work twice as hard all the time. I am literally 87 at this point. I'm exhausted. Yeah. But if you don't have as many books as Stephen King, it would be a still lot of books. Yeah. Yeah. He's so talented. I love you, Steve. But yeah. You talk about, about like speaking of the repercussions of like having to work 24 seven to make, to, to maintain your empire as a boy boss myself. I like to think we get to work 24 seven. I know, I know, I know. It's always you get to do the thing. I, that's why I tell myself when I, you know, marathon training, I get to run 15 miles today. I get to do it. Do you marathon training? Yeah. I'm training for Philadelphia. I did, I did a Berlin. Thank you. I did Berlin like what, three weeks ago. And so now I'm doing Philadelphia in seven weeks and then London next April. You fucking, yeah. You are, you are so full of shit. What do you mean? I'm so sick of working. I guess I'll find a hobby of being a crazy runner who works all the time at my hobby. No, I run a marathon. It is a job. It is, but it is so joyful. I feel like I've become so mentally resilient and like, I think I didn't have any hobbies. Like all I did was like work, like everything I was doing, I found a way to monetize it and running just really was like, I would see people running around Prostate Park and I was like, I just want to be one of those people who gets to just trot along and do a loop. And I would, my intention was not to do marathons. I was just like, oh, I'll do like a 5k or a 10k and it just sort of, yeah, because you got that thing. Well, what happened is, what happened was I am on the board of this nonprofit called Red. We are at Comedy Festival. Yes, I am. I picked all of the, all my faves to do that. I can't believe that. I was like, guys, just like, just turn the money down. It's like, okay, to just turn the money down. Like it's truly fine to just say no thanks. Yeah. But saying that is like saying that to a Westworld robot, Westworld robot. Like, I'm sorry, that doesn't mean anything to me. I know, but I'm just like, I just, when I see stuff like that, I'm like, how much money do you need to earn that will fill up the hole in your heart? And there's just like not enough. So just like, don't do it. And go to therapy. Like go to therapy. Yeah. Talk to friends. Go for a walk. Have some sort of like values that you stick with. Like everything's just a fucking moving target. And I'm like, what is the point? If everything is slippery, if you like don't stand for anything, like what are you doing? Yeah, I agree with you. Yeah. I agree with you. It sounds like, do you agree with me? I 100% agree with you. I really do. I know why I'm saying this weird way, but I interrupted you because you were talking about the nonprofit board you're on. Yeah. So I'm on the board of for Red, which is co-founded by Bobby Shriver and Bono. And they asked me when I was in Vegas for my birthday, and I just like seeing Magic Mike Live, they were like, would you want to run the Boston Marathon for charity? And I'm like, truly got dry humped for like two hours. So I was like, yes, I will do it. And I like just didn't, you know, I knew it was like the big marathon, but I just didn't, you know, and then I was in it. That's so cool. And I loved it. And what was crazy about it, I was like, I was running it with the chest cold. And it was like mile four. And I was like, oh, I would totally do this again. I was like, I would do another marathon like tomorrow. And I was like, oh, no girl, you in trouble. I love I did the Marine Corps marathon a while ago. Where's that in DC? DC. So it's over 10 years ago now. And I loved the feeling of knowing that like, I'm going to walk out of my house and I'm going to run to Maryland and back. And I'm going to be gone for like two and a half hours. And I'm going to run the whole time. Well, you ran in two and a half hours. No, no, no, no, like when I'm trained, like doing a 13, like, no, no, no, no, absolutely not. I it depends on how you count. I don't include the time where I have to hide under the Jefferson Memorial to go to the bathroom. Was it a one or two? I you don't have to go under the Jefferson Memorial for a one. You know what I'm saying? Oh, I see. Well, you got to take a modium. That's the thing is you take a modium an hour before you run. This is the thing. Like so much of running is about pooping. It really is getting the schedule right. It's the whole thing. And I want you to know that there is no problem that a modium could cause that wouldn't be better than what I did behind the Jefferson Memorial, who is an overrated president, but didn't deserve what I did. You know what? I'm proud of you. So I consider my time to be five minutes shorter. Do you listen to something or do you raw dog it? I make a playlist for every marathon. It's great. And so like Berlin, I was like, you know, I was like, oh, I'll put like some boyang because he recorded some albums out with me. So I try to have it be like... Deutschland, Uber, Alice. Yeah. I try to have some things that are thematically... When I ran New York, it was like, obviously, you got to have Biggie, you got to have Jay-Z. You know what I mean? So I try to do it. Yeah. That's so cool. Yeah. Thank you. I try to be cool. No, I don't. I actually don't try to be cool. And I think that's why I end up maybe cool because I just like, I don't care. I'm 41. I don't care anymore. I just don't. Yeah. Yeah, you're evolved. Yeah. But no, do you really feel like, oh, I got to care about like strangers' opinions? Like, you know, it's like whatever. I don't. Here's what I feel, honestly, is I want to remain interested and interesting. Yeah. I want to understand the balance between trying to remain curious and open to change and new ways of doing things without trying to be young. And that is a hard thing to do the older we get. That's my feeling of it. And it is a delicate thing to try to, like, to change with the world while still growing in such a way that you make use of the only cool thing about getting older, to me, which is an understanding of time and relationships to time that are more, that are deeper because you've experienced people for longer and changed for longer. Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. But it's also like the old, that was so great. But it's also like the older you get is like you just have a, at least for me, I have such a greater understanding of myself that there is an unshakability about me that like didn't exist when I was 25. Like I was just too insecure. I was too much like, what's my place? Like where do I go? What do I do? Who's going to like me? Blah, blah, blah. And now it's just sort of like, I'm always like, consider the source. It's like, do I even respect the person that in my 20s, like 20s I would have been trying to impress? It's like, no. So like why, they're not a factor in my life. So once I just distill it to like the people I really respect and I love and cherish and they, and vice versa, that they feel that way about me, it just, I don't know, I feel like life is just actually less complicated. I agree with that. And I do feel a way in which allowing yourself to know yourself and without the blinders of the version you want to be, but actually more accepting of who you actually are is very, very valuable. And I feel that my challenge I think is if you are kind of like kind of letting go of those layers of performance and all the rest, I think what happens at the bottom of that is you are more nuanced and less certain about the world, right? You have less, I think your opinions get less firm. Like maybe you know yourself better, but I think you feel a little less assured of simple statements about the world. And I find as someone who's talking about politics all the time, that it's a balance between being open to nuance, but also understanding that like you better put a stake in the ground and don't allow yourself to be, even as you feel more confident in who you are and less confident about the world, you still have to make sure you have a firm opinion. And that to me is like a challenge about getting older too. Yeah. But I think it's, we're getting so deep, but I think, no, but I think that's like one of the joys of like getting older is that you go like, oh, I actually, like I know more and less at the same time. It's like so weird and fun and interesting. And I kind of, at least for me, because I'm a Libras, Scorpio Moon, Pisces, whatever. So there's a lot of, like I want to have this semblance of control. And like the older I get, I go, I really can't control anything but myself. And that is actually freeing because you spend less energy trying to control every situation, every outcome. Like if I do XYZ, then this is going to happen in my career, in my relationship or whatever. And you just sort of go, I'm going to do XYZ. Who the fuck knows what's going to happen out of that? And sometimes you're surprised by it. Other times you're disappointed. But I feel like that is sort of the beauty of life is that it is just kind of like a grab bag. You know? Yeah, that's beautiful. And speaking of grabbing. Grab me some DX. No. In your, in your special you talk about, I know, why do I say that? I should have kept it in my head. I don't even know. I don't even know. Yeah, you do. But in your special, you talk about wanting a sugar daddy. Yeah. And so it's time for your segment, we're calling age is just a routing number. Yes. Oh, that's so cute. So here's how it's going to work. Okay. We're going to present you two sugar daddies. You're going to choose one or the other. Love it. And then whichever one you choose is going to move on to the next round. All right. Oh, also it's like March madness, but for old dick. Sure. Okay. I love it. I'm a sporty girl. So I got a. So you first you have to choose between Elon Musk, uh, richest man in the world. Uh, maybe in love with a sexy chatbot. We're not quite sure. There are also some downsides. Uh, you would be a step parent of a lot of kids. It's like 13 kids, right? That we know of. Yeah. Or Rupert Murdoch age 94. Okay. Upside. Uh, uh, maybe knock, knock, knock in on heaven's door a little bit more than, okay, I know my, I know my choice. Okay. Okay. So here the thing is they're both truly literal hell. Um, but he's going to die sooner. So it's like, I work my magic. I get in the will. I fucking, you know, cash out with like 20 mil when he kicks the bucket. That's a, that's a great investment. Oh, that's a no, it's a no brainer. And I'm not going to have to fuck him. His dick don't work. So it's like, where, where, where I just have to go to like some events with him, like the New Yorker festival. I can do that. Has, you know, you close your eyes. You think of England, you know? All right. Rupert Murdoch or Senator Mitch McConnell. Smile the lights up a room. I estimated wealth between 30 million and 50 million. I can't. Falls down a lot. He is Mitch is so revolting. I think it's Rupert. Of course it is. Yeah. Of course it is. And here's the thing. Here's the thing. You get like, he has had an interesting life. Yeah. He'd be an interesting person to ask questions to at dinner, you know, on the boat. He's had four wives, right? Yeah. He's definitely the drama, but, um, okay. Yeah. We're sticking with Rupert. Rupert Murdoch or Jeff Bezos, third richest man on the planet. You go to space. You can stay out there. The space is bullshit. They didn't go to space. They didn't too low. Yeah. I was like, you guys just like hung out for like 11 minutes and fucking cosplay and some astronaut suits. Like you weren't like astronauts. Like I, I hated it. They were like, they're like, we're doing this. So young girls, I like young girls can look up to actual fucking female astronauts. You fucking narcissist. Um, okay. You guys, this is like really, how old is Jeff? He's six. Uh, I lost that card, but, um, 61. He's 61. He's 61. No, but the only reason why I'm even remotely considering this is Are you from Australia? Yes. So they've been dealing with this guy for half a century. Oh, I'm just saying the, the, he is a piece of garbage, but he, this is a room that I heard that he like wanted to buy Vogue for his wife, which I think is like really sweet. Like, listen girls, no one's buying anything for me, but I still think I got to go with the person who's going to die sooner. It's Rup. It's Rup. All right. Rupert's like 92, right? It was somewhere in that range. Yeah. Maybe 89. What'd you say? He's got kids. What? He's gonna put me in the will. These old men are dumb. He will put me in the fucking will. The kids will deal. Yeah. Next up, we have Si the gangam style guys age 47. Okay. I like his vibe. He works. Is he, is he problematic and I don't know? Seems so. Sorry, the head of their, his coincidence, head of size fan club is here. I feel like he's cute. He's known worldwide. He entertains audiences. I think I would choose him over. What's his net worth? It's, I think whatever comes in each month from the gangam style. Cause I feel like he does like work a lot. I think I'm going to go with Si. Next up, we have Robert De Niro age 82. You guys listen, when I was a kid, I, I thought he, Robert De Niro was so hot. I read like in Godfather part two and I was like, oh, he on gang story and shooting people and like, I don't know. I think, here's the thing, Bobby D worships a black queen and that feels very cute to me. Like he exclusively like dates, like, like he was like trying to date like Whitney, he like Whitney Houston, like elite black women. So I feel like he understands quality and I feel, I feel like he, but he just had a kid. So his dick does still work, which is, I'm, I'm intrigued. So I think I would like to see what's up. Robert De Niro. Yeah, I'm going to go with Bobby D. All right. Okay. So we're at Robert De Niro, Robert De Niro versus final choice. Okay. Bono. Who you know. Who you know, which is cool. I think I'm okay. You guys, he's like my friend. He's Disney flowers on my birthday. He is like, he's a romantic at heart. Like I am. And I feel like we would get along. Like I feel like black people and Irish people get along well. And he's still young enough. I think I'm going to go with Bono. All right. Everybody check out Phoebe's special. I don't want to work anymore, which I, and I think she does. When we come back, Daniel Schneider is going to join us. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of love at or leave it coming up. Love or leave it is brought to you by one skin. Talk about my skincare routine. Oh man, I'm really, you know, enjoying my skincare routine these days. I have been doing all the different steps, you know, I'm trying to have good skin, trying to like keep it up, trying to make it a part of my routine. And if you're looking to upgrade your skincare routine, one skin is a great place to start. 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One skin is focusing on skin and scalp health at the cellular level powered by their patented OS one peptide. Every formula is designed to keep skin healthier, stronger, more resilient over time for a limited time. Try one skin with 15% off using code love it at one skin.co. That's 15% off one skin.co with code love it. After your purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. We're back. Please welcome to the stage. You know from bitch sash and garbage world. Please welcome Daniel Schneider. Hi, I wanted to talk to you because I've become, I don't do things halfway. I know. I accidentally watched survivor. And so then I went on it. I thought I was shocked. I don't know. This is part of my brokenness. I've become addicted to Bravo reality shows. Bless you. Welcome. And first of all, I want to say I am sorry. Thank you. I've been waiting for this. I am sorry. I didn't understand. You know, I've been on your show before, John. I know this. And every time I sort of felt like you were sort of side eyeing me like this one of those garbage he's talking about, you were always sort of not judgmental. We were always like, get a load. I politics. And now here we are. And now here we are. And again, I am sorry. Thank you. Because it is there. There is there is writing on the Real Housewives that is better than any writer. I'll never be able to write as good as the things that went on the Real Housewives Miami this week. Extraordinary, extraordinary. And so I've started interviewing them. I know. And I interviewed Terry Dubrow, who I watched when the Swan Air. I remember when the Swan Air, like whatever, 15 years ago, 12 years ago. What was your what is your overall sense of Terry Dubrow as a house husband and beyond? Well, it's funny because I have a sense of him in my life. And then I saw him on your show. And he seems so reasonable. And I and he talks a lot about like, oh, the edit, the edit, the edit. But he every time I see Terry Dubrow, he's just in like a fitted leather jacket. And no matter the weather, no matter this, you know, the season, he's always. And so I always thought that he was a person that like was fame hungry. He has all this money. Like from I think plastic surgery, but does plastic surgery buy you that? Does it? I guess if you get you know, you know, that's well, they get a lot of get a lot of his brothers and like, quiet riot or something. Yes. So yeah, his brother was in quiet rise. Brother passed away, but his brother was quite right. I don't know what the. I was like, it's a quiet riot money or I don't know. I don't know. But anyway, so I was like, why are they forcing themselves on this show? Like they don't need like a lot of the people in reality TV, like this is the meal ticket. Like this is so he doesn't need the money. I guess it's fame, right? I asked him about this. And because that was what I you feel that in the different shows, which is, you know, there's an old like Hollywood aphorism, which is like the most the richest person in the room is in charge. And so like on some of these shows, these are people that need the income on some of them, like maybe they were wrong to do it. Sometimes it always feels like they're doing it like they're doing it like they set a grenade off in their marriage right before they were leaving nom, you know, and and like, but they have enough money. But I asked him about this. And he's like, I think they want that he's he said this maybe about himself, maybe about others that like the fame is so intoxicating that being wealthy doesn't stop you from wanting to have the conflicts and the lack of dignity that sometimes comes along with being on these shows. I know it's so weird. I mean, I get it. I think that they are addicted to fame and like they are sort of like, oh, I want people to recognize me. And it's and he says it on your show, which is like, it's the perfect amount of recognition because people are nice to you and they you get like a nice seat somewhere. But he came off so likable on your show that I've I've always kind of been like this guy, I don't like a house husband. I don't like when the husbands get in on the drama per se. I'm always like, leave the ladies, leave it to the ladies. I don't want these men clogging up my airways. It's interesting. What do you do? You like Salt Lake and you watch Potomac, right? It's interesting when the men when the men show up in the Real Housewives world, it's a reminder as why as to why like the Real House Husbands kind of shows haven't worked. Yeah, it's because like there's men, when men fight, there's menace. There's much more menace in there. Or boredom. Yeah, it's not like I'm not scared of their fists. I'm more just like, you don't have subtleties to your fight. There's no gray area to fight. And there's always just like women will hold a grudge. Like they're like, we're okay. And then the next week, we're like, we're not okay. Remember, like they will fight. And then there's like, I guess we're good. It's like, there's no gray area. There's no subtleties to their fight. Also, like for me, a lack of sense of humor, which I think like the best housewives like Bethany and Luan and Nini, like they are so devastatingly right. They are so funny. Not for Getschiselle. Yeah. And Karen Huger, RIP, but now out of prison. Yeah. And they're so but it really like when there's someone's being really funny, they can like really charm you. And these guys are all kind of like robots. And like, they just don't have on the whole, I think personally women are much more interesting than men, just like straight men, just saying not to be not to be controversial, but I go on dates and I'm carrying. I'm like, oh, I'm a great conversationalist. You know what? But I just, I'm sorry, but like, I feel like this is, this has been a recurring theme on this show for years, which is incredibly funny women realizing after years that this wasn't a great date. I'm a great day. Yeah. I'm a great date. I am so funny. But anyway, I feel like these guys on the show, like they don't have interesting personalities. They're not particularly funny. All they all have like a, you know, a football background. So they've been hitting the head a lot. So like it's just, they really can't bring much to the table. Yeah. And it's always like the guy has to be, as we call it in like sitcom writing the go to, meaning like he's always like, and he does not care. And they can't act it well if they're like, so how was the bunco night? They have to tell them like how it went. Like, so they just have to be there to sort of facilitate conversation. Yeah. So they're really just side characters. And I don't like when the, and Terry sometimes tries to put himself as a lead character, which I don't enjoy. Know your place, know your business and shut up. Yeah. That's how I feel. I agree. Thank you. Yeah. Let's see, like, there's something about like, I noticed over the years of these shows, there are people that start on the periphery and they'll kind of work their way into the middle. And sometimes they go back out to the periphery and then they sometimes come back in. But part of it, right, is that like, there are people that have seemed like almost like voids, they don't have a lot to say, they're not a lot of personality. And then as they move closer to the middle, because they're allowed to be more central to the story, they're more centered in the like, give me an example. Tom Schwartz in Vanderpump rules. Thank you. Right. Sure. But in the early, like he's like almost like a kind of stone face villain in early seasons of that show kind of popping in, but you don't really know him, you don't get to see him. And by the way, also a little bit true of Katie and Kristen in early Vanderpump rules as well, where they're like, in kind of Astasi's Angels. Right. Right. And it's part of it is screen time, but part of it is like, there's something about what happens as you move to the middle where you, they, they have something like unleashes and like, they're closer to the camera. They're, they're sent literally, I think shot more, like you see their faces more. And sometimes I wonder is like, are we, when people are on the periphery like that, and they seem like they don't have personalities, is it that they actually don't? And that's why they're not more central? Or is it because the show is not showing us more of them being interesting, including the husbands? I think the show gravitates towards light. And so when they, when the light comes for them, when something happens, like, Kristen is a demon, you know what I mean? She is a demon incarnate who is now a demon who's a mother. And she has a kid. She has a child. God help us all. She grew up a lot. She grew up a lot. Look at you! She has grown up a lot though she now is like, she has said, fuck it, I don't need hair. I don't need makeup. I am just doing this and I love that about her. Yeah. Yeah. There's so much to say. I think the light finds them. Like, I feel like Kristen has always been who she is, but when you shine a light, when she has a chance to be her fullest demon self, she comes a lot. Like, we got to see her, but that was always hidden there. Like, that was there. We were just focusing on the wrong person sometimes, like, and it moves. Yeah, it's like they're shrinky things. Yeah, thank you. In a sense. I love that. You know, you just get them in the Bravo Toaster. Put them on the hot seat. They blow right the fuck up. So part of why I was interested in this is I interviewed Sarah McBride on Pate America with John and we were, and she basically talks about the experience now of being in Congress, which is, they're people that want to do serious things, but also they're people who have learned from Bravo and learned from reality TV about like, how do you make drama in a moment? Like, if you watch Pam Bondi in being questioned by Adam Schiff in the Senate this week, she does not let him finish a sentence. And it reminded me of what Ariana said that Tom Sandoval told her, which is, when someone's attacking you, never let them finish a sentence. And Trump does that. Pam Bondi did that, which Trump praised in the cabinet meeting. I don't think you can understand politics right now without understanding, sort of like the Bravo universe. And I'm wondering as someone... Are you telling me to run for Congress? First of all, yes. But also, you've been kind of like, in the, like you've been in the trenches of reality TV now for over a decade. I'm gonna cry. Do you feel politics becoming more like these shows? Did you feel these shows as a harbinger? Like, what is it? Like, what do you think? I love that you think I'm so like, pressioned that I would be like, well, this is what's to come. But I do think the reality TV has seeped into us as people. And also, it's like commenting on... The same as commenting on Instagram and commenting. We're all involved in each other's shit. And I do think that reality TV has made people kind of like bolder to say the things that they're thinking and not just like, you're not... Nobody's keeping anything inside anymore. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I think part of that is because we don't beat enough ass. You know what I mean? Truly. Like, when I was growing up, you would decide who I'm gonna talk shit and who I'm not because I don't want to get punched in the face. But now everyone's out here like got throwing shade and being exorcist and got their comebacks. And I'm like, if you got slapped in the fucking mouth, you would totally change your behavior. And all these... I think when I saw it change, I remember, and this is... Sorry to get serious, I was going through some like fertility issues. I have a kid now, everything's fine. But I was going through fertility issues and I was talking to my husband on... I come out of the doctor's office and I was talking to my husband on a phone like kind of like in a... Like crying in Beverly Hills in a corner as someone probably thought I was just an actress that didn't get a part. Which was also true. Yeah. You can do two things at once. Two truths. And so I was like crying and I was talking about reality... I'm not... I was talking about my uterus, reality TV, same thing. And I was just like crying so upset and like probably sharing personal information to my husband on a phone like hysterical crying. And a woman walked past me and goes, oh, we didn't hear to hear that. And I just remember being like, that's so fucking callous. Like you're not involved in my business. I'm in my world having a moment, a private moment that I have to have publicly because we live in the world. And this woman saying that and I was like, that's when I thought reality TV has changed people. Because so that... And that is in politics, it's everywhere now. Which is... Yeah. Yeah. Like someone commenting on something that has nothing... You know, just live... What you said, like that would get your ass beat. You know, not by me, obviously they saw that that was going to happen. But you know what I mean? Like there's a general lack of empathy and everything is sort of like, I got a hot take and it's not sort of seeing like this is an actual person, not someone in a TV who's like entertainment in my world. It's like you're going through like something real and like, I would have been like, oh my God, is everything okay? Not like... Or walk the fuck away and be like, oh that poor woman or even like, oh that one's knowing whatever you have. To yourself. Yeah. But nobody... They're not keeping it inside anymore. Well, there's something... So there's the reality TV show dynamic, there's the social media dynamic and then... And like I think the way they combine is there's kind of a sense that people have that like nobody's following the rules I was taught. Right? Like nobody has manners anymore. No one's living the right way anymore. And like we're trained both by reality, television, and celebrity culture, which kind of evaluate people all the time. And by social media where we're offering our opinions all the time, that like you have to kind of go out and like in some way like command the world to look the way you want it to look. And that if somebody's out there doing something that you wouldn't do, it's like an insult to you. It's like an insult to you that this person is behaving in a way that you wouldn't... That's like, this is why we don't... This is like, how could they do this? I need to tell them. I need to tell them that they're doing it the wrong way. That's my job to correct them. We're too self-centered. Everything is I, I, I, I, instead of just sort of like, everyone is living their lives. Just focus on your shit and like leave other people alone. And also I like, like I have had that instinct too, that instinct is in me now too, when I see someone like on the internet or in the world like behaving poorly. And sometimes I think, I'm going to say, and I was like, why? Who the fuck cares? Like what is your opinion mean? Nothing. But we all feel a little bit better when we get to sit like, and I do too, in reality, I get to sit back and judge these people and like, oh, aren't they stupid or crazy? But like, they're just living their lives. Like, what do I have to say? And you watch them also go on this trajectory of like, like the kind of like shock of people seeing them and then the effort to control how they look and then the kind of like final Pokemon phase of like, it's Kristen not caring about hair and makeup. It's like Luanne being her kind of true and final form. She is, talk about a woman, talk about life of a showgirl. I don't know if anybody saw that Taylor, they put Taylor Swift over Luanne. Ever say like that, she's my Taylor Swift. Luanne going from a countess to a woman accidentally biting the mustard packet inside the bologna sandwich. She was handed in overnight jail because she was arrested while being drunk for saying to a cop, I'm going to fucking kill you. Two, let's go back to up now to a cabaret star. To a cabaret star. What a drama. But they like, at the end of that, they come to the place of like me or hate me. This may your your attention made me for good and for ill, right? Which brings me to a segment we're calling beef. It's what's for culture. What is that? That's going to be my, whenever I get married, that will be my wedding invitation. So I'm going to run you through some, some, some famous beef and you say who you think is winning. All right. First up, Jen Shaw versus the feds. I mean, she's never looked better. Is Jen Shaw the new Martha Stewart? It was hard to say. Only time will tell. I don't know. I just, she was great TV and then I'm going to say the feds. I'm going to say the feds only, but I will say that Jen will, you know, her and Elizabeth Holmes are sitting there in prison being BFF. They're cooking something up. So time will tell, but yes, the feds. Yeah. That's, that's, that's like Lex Luthor in the scare crow being side by side in Arkham. You know what I mean? I know they're different worlds. Shut up. I know. Next up, Bethany versus Carol on Real Housewives of New York. From friends to enemies in 10 seasons. That was probably one of the most heartbreaking like friendship breakups in the Real Housewives universe. 100%. And I think Carol was right. I did too, but it took a journey to get me here because I was sort of team Bethany at the beginning and watching Bethany's journey from like business woman to be strong, like help again in hurricanes to like now like cheese. And then now like going into delis and being like, I don't know if I like to get tuna sandwiched. You know what I mean? Okay. First of all, first of all, that's the journey of literally every Jewish woman. Second, those cottage cheese bagels that Bethany made. They're good. I made them. I swear to you, this is what it means. I don't, again, I watch an episode of Survivor, then I'm on Survivor. I am watching Real Housewives. Now I'm making the Bethany Frankel cottage cheese bagels. And you know what? They're great. She gives me Trump energy in the sense of like manic, manic, manic, anyone who says anything is an enemy. She can't just keep her eyes on her own paper. She has to burn everything down. She doesn't have one real friend. She, you know what I mean? Especially not women. Like she cannot, there is, she's too toxic to be on her side. Great for TV, but it's totally team Carol. Yeah. Yeah. You're not. Wow. What's your thought? I don't, I don't, what's going on? So what? I love her. I don't know. Carol thinks she's better than Bethany. No, I like Carol too. I like them both. Carol's great. She was fucking that young chef. Yeah. She was a princess. She was selling her jeans on Poshmark. I mean, I love a girl. Here's what I, I felt like whatever the cause of the actual ending of that friendship, we did not see it is what I felt when I watched what was on television. Whatever really happened, I don't think we know because it didn't feel like there was enough on screen or even in the descriptions of it after to help me understand it. They're deeper than they are. And I don't think they are. I think Bethany is territorial and exhausting. And I think someone like Carol who is kind of zen in the way. At first you can take that energy on and then you're like, this is too fucking much dog. You know what? Maybe I think sometimes territorial and exhausting people deserve friends too. And that's all I want to say about that. Bethany won the beats. All right. Tom Sandoval versus the world. Oh, yeah. So here's the thing. I didn't watch Vanderpump rules. And then the, uh, the writer strikes happened and I like couldn't work. And I just one day I woke up and I'm like, I think I'm just going to get into it. It's, I started all the way from the beginning and call all the way up. And I, Tom, like in the beginning, I was like, he's kind of like a little baby angel, like, like a little dummy. He wants to act, but he doesn't have like the talent to act. So he's doing the show and I'm like, I get that. And then he just became such a narcissist and like fuck boy. And I just, uh, the world, he is just, he's so bad. He's just bad news. You know what? Maybe it took a couple, no, no, I took a couple seasons, but that shrinky dinked. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know, the truth come, the truth will come out. He's really dumb. And I think as a, as a woman, we can only take a dumb man till we're 33. And then we, and then we go, you know what, time for me to move on. All right. Next up, we have Gavin Newsom versus Trump. Guys, can I just say Gavin Newsom, it is so, he's giving Patrick Bateman, but I'm also saw a video of him changing a light bulb and I got so wet. And I, you know, we're all complex and I was like, he's tall. Look at him unscrew that light bulb. I just, he's a great man. He's the part of me that would have like dated the president of the school for like a minute. He would have like let me give him a hand job or something. And I would have been like, like, he's so slick and like put together. And you know, like he wouldn't like me or my messiness, but you know, he would sneak behind a counter or something. I also think he would like. So what's amazing though, what's happening here is the question wasn't, do you want to fuck Gavin Newsom? And while I appreciate that, that is seems to be what you heard. And I get that. That's hilarious. We're both like in it. We were in it. I'm already like in the back of a car with him. So the question is, in his political battle with Donald Trump, here are some of his most recent taunts at Trump in Trump's style. We have a, a cosplay Christy is in Portland. Hide your dogs. There was a, uh, why is submissive Steven so shorty and AI photo of, oh yeah, why is submissive Steven so short and AI photo of Trump dresses Marie Antoinette with a tweet, the queen demands sympathy from you peasants. I love it. He's throwing shade. He won. I think he is. I think he's, I think it's, um, there was a, uh, there wasn't, there was, I'm not listening to. It's wild. It's wild. What's happening? So high. Just grab him by the tie. Fuck you, bro. Mess up his hair. It won't move. Yes. He got that shellack down, honey. The next one was supposed to be out Chuck Schumer. So we're just going to wrap it up. Oh, we'll all get on that Schumer, baby. All right. No, as I said, I have like gotten really into reality shows and I do think, as we were just talking about, like reality shows have a lot to tell us about how our culture is the way it is. And also, by the way, like, you got to be for what's happening. If we want to win in politics, we got to understand, uh, what's happening in this world. And so I, uh, have a new series that is on the love or leave it feed. It's called love or leave it presents Bravo America. So for those listening at home, here's a trailer. You're the one of the meanest people that I love, right? You are. You think I mean, oh, there are moments. There are moments in this show where you are so mean. I always say in life, I'll never shake your hand first, but I'll shake it back hard. Hey everybody, it's John Lovett of Pod Save America. Love it or leave it. And for a brief moment in time, survive her on CBS. Understanding reality TV is the key to understanding the current state of our politics. Trump gets it to your favorite Democrats. I doubt it. That's why I'm introducing a limited series on this feed called love it or leave it presents Bravo America. Every week I'm going to sit down with my favorite personalities in reality TV. People like to render medley from the real housewives of New York, Orange County house husband, and botched surgeon Dr. Terry Dubrow, survivors, black widow, poverty shallow. Welcome to Plathville's Olivia Plath and more over eight episodes of conversations will answer three big questions. What did my guests learn about reality TV? Stay famous. Yeah. Stay on TV. At the end of the day, what reality TV is even all about rights to foster these conversations where people with different perspectives sit at the table and talk about it. What did my guests learn about themselves? I am very good at emotional manipulation. I remember that camera coming around and thinking, Oh, I like the camera and I think the camera likes me. And what did they learn about politics and this great and perfect nation of ours? Through it all, I'm pushing to get people to talk more openly about all this, including stories they haven't told and moments that didn't make it on screen. I even asked Terry Dubrow what plastic surgery I should get. Be very careful as a man doing a lower eyelid blepharoplasty. There's some celebrities who I'll show you after they look weird. Love it or leave it presents Bravo America on this feed every Tuesday for the next eight weeks. So check it out and be cool about it. Don't be all uncool. When we come back, we're going to start some beefs of our own. Oh, Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of love it or leave it coming up. Love it or leave it is brought to you by built. Nobody wants to pay rent. But if you have to, built makes it worth it. Built is revolutionizing how millions think about paying rent by rewarding their members with points and exclusive benefits around their neighborhood every single month. By paying rent through built, you'll earn flexible points that can be redeemed through hundreds of hotels and airlines, a future rent payment, your next lift ride and more. But it doesn't stop there. Built is about making your entire neighborhood more rewarding. You can dine out at your favorite local restaurants and earn additional points, get VIP treatment at certain fitness studios and enjoy exclusive experiences just for built members every month. Built is turning a monthly expense into an opportunity to earn rewards and discover the best that your neighborhood has to offer. Your rent is finally working for you earn points on rent around your neighborhood and wherever you call home by going to join built.com slash love it. That's J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T dot com slash love it. Make sure you use our URL so they know we sent you. And we're back. Couple notes. Crooked con. You may have heard that crooked con sold out, which is awesome. So by even more popular demand, we are moving crooked con to a bigger location so we can sell some more tickets. We're going to have more panels. We're going to have more guests. The new venue is drum roll at the Ronald Reagan building. We're going to win one for the Gipper. You'll have your favorite podcast host from Crooked plus Andy Beshear, Anderson Clayton, Ben Wickler, Senator Ruben Gallego, Maurice Mitchell, Hasan Piker and more. We're also adding a Vote Save America action hub with a bunch of great organizations are going to help you figure out how best to get involved. So head to crooked con.com for tickets and we will see you in DC on November 7th. All right, we've talked a lot about other people's beef tonight, but I think we all deserve to have one of our own. So we're going to spin the wheel and each of us is going to start a feud with an unsuspecting foe in a game we're calling now you're cooking. And we're each going to have a quick minute to start a beef. All right, let's see who do we let do we have a wheel? Hell yeah. Phoebe, who'd you like to have some beef with? I have beef with businessmen in the airports. I've had enough. So many egregious affronts. There's two things. There is what I hate is the business man who is clearly in group two, but he thinks he is global services and it's just fumbling his way around like, oh, I think I'm supposed to board in the person like, no, you're group two. And he's like, he can't see it on his boarding pass. Go the fuck to hell. You know your group two. So that's one. And then this was when I was traveling, when I was touring and I got into like, you know, whatever, like lounge or whatever. And I was sitting here first, I was doing stand up with was sitting across from me. And there's two, there's this NPC next to me, NPC next to her, police. And this older married a white couple, they come in, they sit down. And there's like a table and I'm like eating my breakfast and I'm like, you know, sort of like scrolling social media. And I clearly have food on my plate. And I was like, watching this video and I turn around and this dusty ass man discarded all of his food garbage onto my plate. Yes, just taking up space with his fucking apple cores. And I was just so aghast because I'm like, but you're with your wife, like, why can't you guys like consolidate your trash over there? He just he just fucking man spread his garbage everywhere. So I just think businessmen are just fucking menaces. And they need to stay home. You're not allowed to fly anymore. It's too much. Fuck you. They're so rude. They hit me with my suitcases. They stand in front of me. They're like, Oh, I didn't see you. You did see me. And you know, it's like LA just decided to spend $2.6 billion to upgrade our convention center at a time in which like, isn't that era over? And it's like, no, no, no, but don't worry, in 50 years, we're going to fucking be in the black. And it's like, Oh, no. But it's like, but it's like, are the businessmen going to these conventions? If they're not having affairs anymore? Yeah. They're just everywhere. It's too much. The arrogance, the rudeness. Let's spin it again. A beef. I do I had a beef. I started a beef the other day. Oh, really? I didn't mean to. And I called my therapist afterwards because it was bad. It was bad. I work my anger out in the streets. And I was at my child's basketball game the other day. And we'll say didn't have a great night of sleep. But this, I was in it, you're in it with there's a ref and my daughter's little and she gets hit a lot and I get upset. And so a girl hit her and I was like, Hey, I've got a foul. Or, you know, like, because it's hard to watch your child get hurt. And a woman behind me screamed, calm down. Wow. And I said to myself, Danielle, don't say anything. Like, this is your child's game. Like, just, just be okay. And I was for a minute. And then that woman behind me started screaming about her child. And I went, calm down. The woman comes up from behind, starts screaming at me. He said, you want to take this outside? Oh, my God. Do I look like I want to take this outside? Started screaming. Had to be pulled back by her friend. The ref stopped the game. My child's looking me like, and then and so we stopped. But as we were leaving, I took out my basketball pump in case I had to come to blows with her, like literally started a beef with a woman. So you didn't start it. I saw her. She was nothing but chaos. But I should have not. I had a moment where I did not have to say, calm down. No, say you got out. No, no, no, you match people at their energy. Thank you. Thank you. I'm a Libra and that's what you do. They don't fucking like it. No, they don't. And then yeah, I'm like, don't say it. Yeah, because I'll meet you, bitch. Thank you RSVP to fucking gutter with you, bitch. Yeah, don't care. Thank you. Where were you that day? I would have had your bag. Oh, I needed you. How did was the your return calm down immediately after before she reacts? The words have left your mouth. Yes. In the moment after. I thought great. Really? That's interesting. That's interesting. Incredible. Yeah. Yeah. I have again since called my therapist. That's interesting. That's interesting. What did your therapist say? I mean, she has called me back. All right, let's play phone tag. Let's spin it again. All right. I have a specific beef that I would like to start and look and I will preface this by saying liberal America is feeling anxious, angry, scared, uncertain, and Los Angeles is a bit under siege. I do believe that we are allowing that tension to play out on our roads as we drive. I think you can genuinely see it in the way people drive in Los Angeles. There's something that is happening at stop signs and I believe it is new. And I think it is yet another symbol of decadence and decline and it is this. This goes on my list of the rise of the tinted windows, including incredibly tinted front and front passenger windows, which shouldn't be tinted, and windshields that are tinted, and all other kinds of debauched selfish behavior on the roads. People are slowing down and stopping way behind the stop sign so that they don't have to come to a complete stop, but can claim they did and roll all the way through. And so what happens is you arrive at a stop sign and you are ostensibly at the line. The other person on some level was arriving before you, but in the efforts of depriving themselves of the ill feeling of a break is slowly trying to roll through, but still claiming the right of way. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? It's a new thing. I really do think it's a new evolution of rudeness. So if this is the line, they're slowing to hear. They're there before you on some level, but you're at the line because you drove to the line and stopped and then you don't really know whether you're supposed to go first or not, because on some level you're at the line first, but another they feel like they should be able to zoom ahead of you. And so I'll tell you something. It depends on the vibe, but at this point it's like, if you're not going to stop at the stop sign, I'm going. I'm fucking going. And are you noticing that people are just saying fucking and running red lights a little more? It's crazy out there. What's going on? It's just a town hall. Why are you so fired up? It is a town hall. Can you believe? Hey, if you're in Los Angeles, get your prop 50 ballot in and hey, hey, just pull up right up to the stop sign. Stop. Look around. And I would suggest this. Give yourself a treat. Let somebody in. You'll find that even though it will cost you a quarter second, the surprising good feeling you have will last even longer. And perhaps you'll train yourself to do it more. And when you let someone in now in Los Angeles, they look at you like you decided not to kill them. Everybody also please do me a favor and listen to bitch sesh with Daniel Schneider. Check out Phoebe's special. I don't want to work anymore on YouTube. Check out Bravo America. Thank you Phoebe. Thank you, Daniel. We'll see you next week at Dynasty Typewriter. There are 388 days until the midterms. Have a great night and have a great weekend. If you're already scrolling endlessly, which we know you are, don't forget to follow us at Crooked Media on Instagram, TikTok, and all the other ones for original content, community events, and more. You can also find Love It or Leave It on YouTube for videos of your favorite segments and other YouTube exclusive content. And if you want to sing our praises or rip us a new one, please drop us a review. Finally, if you want to listen to Love It or Leave It, add free and get access to exclusive shows. Go to Crooked.com slash friends to subscribe on Supercast, sub-stack YouTube, or Apple podcasts, wherever you are. You can find us. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Loven, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer. Phil McGrath is our producer. And Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Coffin, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, and Suba Argoal are our writers. Jordan Cantor is our editor. Kyle Seglind and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Steven Cologne is our audio engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Shorshore. Thanks to our designer, Sammy Kedurna Reeves for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast, and to our digital producers, David Tolles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kellman, Dilan Villanueva, and Rachel Gaieschi for filming and editing video each week. So you can. Our head of production is Mad to Grote and our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.