Failed OF Model In Debt For Taylor Swift | Financial Audit

To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. Well, I'm being told to do OF2. What the f*** is this? Did you print off reviews? These are just like, that's like a menu. Why do you have a printed off menu? I just think that we should, you know, celebrate our sexuality, and I think it'll be more normalized. Believe it or not, guys have that as well. They don't just f*** themselves. Women are the only gender in the entire world that can't figure out how to make extra money other than prostitutes. Quicksilver won. What's happening? Got pre-sale tickets to the Ares Tour. For the Ares Tour! The Ares Tour! Something big is coming. Something that's going to change personal finance forever. And the first 500 metalwares get to lead the charge. Go to DollarWise.com to change the future. Hi, I'm Parker. I'm 29 years old. I'm from Springfield, Illinois, and this is Financial Audit. It sure sounded like a question. It might be. Are you questioning? I was ready to jump into it, but you seemed confused. This is Financial Audit. It is. That's good. I didn't know. I don't know. That's where you are. You ain't come down to Austin and land up and kill Tony or Rogan. You are on Financial Audit. Could be a dream. I don't know. Okay. It's not. So welcome. Thank you. Thanks for coming down from Illinois. Hi, fellow Midwesterner. I escaped to the better place. You didn't yet. That's okay. Maybe you will someday. Oh, girl. I wouldn't say it's better. She literally just walked outside and it's nice outside. She's like, it's so good. It's so good. I said it's beautiful. Yeah. Okay. So, no, no, no, no, no. Don't. You might when you get home after being here in the better place, but that's okay. Maybe. I heard it's snowing in like 10 degrees. What do you do up there for a living? I work in public health. Okay. What even is that? There is so much public health work to be done. What do you actually do for a living? Think of the person that you don't like the most, like a health inspector. Okay, is it a health inspector? Is that possibly what you do? Yeah, that's part of it. Part of it? Most of it. That's what we're known as. What's the other part of a health inspector? Well, we're called like sanitarians, really, but no one really knows what that is. What, do you go walk around and clean things? No. Well, then where's the sanitarian? We audit it. Okay, you're a health inspector. Partly. I mean, yes. What's the other part? What do you mean, what's the other part? I mean, we do birds and bats, anything environmental-wise. Do you know what environmental health is? I don't know. I just got a confusing note that I guess you wanted to do the intro in a certain way, and maybe I didn't help you do that. You wanted to tell the whole world that you were bi for some reason? No. Like, I give a f***. I would never. Okay. Why do they care? Why do I care? Why was that going to be in the intro? I don't give a shit. Oh, I heard that you were questioning your sexuality a little. Why is everyone saying this? Colton, I'm telling you people to say this. No, these are... No. It also wouldn't matter if I was. Who gives a f*** these days? No, I know. I agree. Everyone is f***. But also, no. I don't understand. The last three guests, I swear, Lindsay or Colton is f***ing with me, are just doing this because they... Okay, no. In late high school, early college, literally over a decade ago now, I thought I might be because of a very early introduction to f***ing is my best guess. But no, I'm not. And even if I was, who gives a shit? And why are you out here bragging? Bragging about what? Colton said you wanted to say that in your intro, so I thought we were going to have to redo the intro. No, we don't have to redo the intro. Okay, then what the fuck are we doing? Okay, so you work in public health. You are a health inspector, kind of, part-time. Great. What do you make doing that? You're the annoying person. Actually, no. Okay, health inspector, I'm glad you're at least doing it and making sure we're not getting, like, poisoned. I make $14.25. Like, I'm sorry, each paycheck. Sorry, I get two paychecks a month. Okay, well, Springfield, that's not a suburb of Chicago, is it? No. Okay, so that can stretch a little far. Midwest is pretty cheap to live in. Yeah, it's not super bad. All things considered, $3,000 a month net. How you doing in Springfield on that? Bisexual Parker? Thank you. um it's critical necessary information to know probably better but you're doing better no no no i should be better than i am oh should be i should just left out that should be did i leave it out well you said i'm better i don't know or better you just said better that's all the word better was sometimes my like brain has thoughts and then like i don't have time to catch up with them no so So far, I'm thinking they don't have thoughts. You think I don't have thoughts? That's like you think that you're bi and that's your entire identity. That's all I'm picking up on so far. Bi-in. Which I appreciate. That's not. But I'm, yeah, I don't know. I'm just surviving on that, yeah. I mean, I also get another stream. Well, I have like child support too that comes in and then I get reimbursed. I have one. Oh, congratulations. Kind of. I mean, it sounds like he's not in the picture anymore, but. Who? Well, you're getting child support. probably the breeder. The breeder. No, he's Caesar. Or the breede. He's Caesar. You're the breeded. I think I was breeded. Yes. Yeah, so I'm the breeded. The man with the penis that launched some cum up your vagina. That could be a lot of them. Really? She's a whore. We love whores, too. That's not even a bad thing. She's bi. That's great. Don't really care. Whore, that's great. I don't care. We need whores. If Brandon and I and Mark and even Colton to the men want to be whores, we need other people to be whores. in order to be whores. I agree. Everyone should do what they want. So well done. Well, sure. That's kind of the point I was making. I was just saying, whores, enable it. It took a long way to get there. I was just helping. Except not really. I don't think, okay. I don't think you follow paths very well. But listen, great. So what do you get for the child support? $5.97 a month. That's not very much. What happened with this guy? We were dating for a couple of years. Broke up. When? When, when, when? 2018 to 2020. okay so you got the covid scaries yeah broke up in 2020 realized just wasn't for us um why we were better roommates than uh like in a relationship and then you guys were locked inside because of covid and you're like oh i hate this piece of shit yeah that kind of made me realize i don't like him like in that way impregnate you i wouldn't say i let him was it non-consensual no i mean we it was consensual sex but like no one and why did you let him pregnant i was like 99.9 effective and but you were having raw sex no condom come inside a vagina that's the only okay well then it happens it's can't it's just like like i understand birth control yeah shot so it wasn't the little implant no implants the best you got to get the implant or ied i know the ied sucks because it hurts and they don't really do a lot of uh pain prevention on that but doesn't matter those are still like the ones that work i got my tubes out now so can't have more okay is it full-time with you yes and what is it what is it a girl good girl of what old five old okay five-year-old girl that's good whoa it's a beautiful girl we love that beautiful child you have full custody yeah i would say which is why you're getting the 597 what does he do for work for such a little child's custody i'll be honest He works for a distributor I think like a liquor or a beer You really can't answer job questions of what people do including yourself We haven't been together for like 5 years 6 years almost Do you not keep in touch? You have a child together? We do We see each other during drop-offs and we'll do like a family day What do you mean drop-offs? I thought you have full custody Well he sees her like once a month For drop-offs? Yeah so we meet halfway He lives 5 hours away He still lives in Wisconsin yeah why okay that's where i was living at the time no i didn't want a real answer this is like okay okay okay good baby baby well i'm being told to do of two i did for a while okay a little bit i shouldn't say a while i got bored of it how many people were subscribed i'm sorry um i'm not being rude except for when i am how many people were subscribing to this or are subscribing to this well i did it for like a month and there was like oh when in august oh so this did just happen okay so it is valid to bring up okay good just wanted to make sure okay and yeah what happened what did you even post content woman what did you post what kind of content what of content yes what oh so you can ask me to go deeper but i can't okay you guys go deeper but ask a question i'm asking you a question if you want me to ask answer a question ask it okay nudes okay and stuff like that you're not pulling them up are you no oh god no what's this god i'm sure i'm free views no these are just like that's like a menu you know a lot of people are kind of like you off menu why do you have a printed off menu i've never seen this in my life you've never seen a menu printed off from an of failure i wouldn't say failure well i would have said creator but you did it for one month didn't make any money because who's paying for that i mean then you stopped i made money what did you make then within that month like like 900 it's more than your child support kind of crazy okay so let's see voice notes five for sweet dirty spicy or whatever ai does that now uh you want real person 35 for 10 nudes and already taken videos so videos of what whatever they want sex videos i i don't know if we need to get into like what the videos were yes we do you were getting railed and you would send those no oh i have never done a video with anybody else that's a shame because that's the only thing i would ever pay for who pays for solo content that's so boring what the Like, if I am going to pay for something, which I don't. Yeah, they must be, because that is pathetic, because just go with someone getting railed. But, like, then you don't have the personal connection. I don't need a personal connection. I want to see someone getting railed. Some people do need the personal connection. Okay, well, like you said, losers. So that's $35, plus already taking videos. So is this you jacking off? I meant to choose not to answer that. Girl, you literally printed off a menu. and you're not answering what you did, you're the printer of the menu. Like, what the f***? You're ashamed of what you did, then why did you do it? You literally print it off a menu, and you can't talk about it? Well, don't get a house if you can't afford it? It's not my house. You also have a f***ing job? Whose house is it? My mom's. Well, tell her don't. What? Tell her to move and sell it. Who doesn't live there? Who does? Me. My mom owns it. You have a job. I know that I have a job. You can do that. Don't pull the, oh, I was a victim of the world and needed money. Believe it or not, guys have that as well. They don't just put it themselves. How do they do it? How do they figure out? Women are the only gender in the entire world that can't figure out how to make extra money other than prostitutes. I have no time to make extra money. I don't have the... You said bullshit to that? Yeah, there's single moms all over the place. And it sucks. I get it. I don't have any family around. child support i know but there are single moms without child dude you think you're one of literally 300 million people in this country no you're not it's no one's that unique i'm sorry 25 dollars polaroid and handwritten no handwritten okay 50 dollars for a custom video so literally they could ask for anything i mean i would say no if i wasn't comfortable with it on your foot that would be something i'd probably say no to really yeah you said a limited urination that's like nothing who cares i'll piss on your foot for 50 bucks i'm not into bodily fluids pussy 50 dollars for personalized photo other options 16 session 20 dollars and you let people facetime for 45 bucks how long 30 minutes 30 minutes for 45 you don't value your time very well these prices are all over the place they are yeah again i didn't do it that long i just got bored 800 bucks which is honestly kind of a disgusting part of our society that people paid that much for nothing um for nothing yeah you didn't there was no sex videos i really don't understand the point comment are you with me in this are you are you with me like am i the only one here it's like if people are having sex like what am i doing like i'm you're kind of they really talk to you about like their problems like what their issues are like one they need to seek therapy i mean i don't disagree but you enabled it. Of course. If I can, like, these random... I started, like, these, like, because these random men would add me on Snapchat. Well, I just stopped if you were making money and this was your only way because I'm a poor woman. Because I got bored. Okay, what is I got bored? I just, I didn't want to stay up late anymore and do it. I was tired. So just price it so high. That's what I did with my cameo. I hate doing that shit, so I just made it stupid expensive. And then yet some people still purchase it. Assholes. Thank you. But, like, I made it so that no one would buy it. I would do that so you can at least bring in money, like crazy money, like make it like a thousand bucks for something custom. That's true. Oh, I shouldn't be enabling this. Okay, so you stopped. Maybe I should restart it. You stopped? So did you take it down? Not yet. A mother doing no F. How do you feel about that? Great. Really? Obviously, no. I mean, I didn't think I'd be here at, you know, 29, struggling, but... Why are you struggling? I don't know. I feel like I'm pretty great. Access your life a little. Why are you struggling? I just like to have a good time and just make sure that we're... Yeah. I mean, BS is in the minimum hundreds, which, by the way, for a $3,000 a month income is not very good. But not only that, we had unknown spending of $500. Unknown spending is confusing. We don't really know. We don't know what it is. It could be Amazon. It could be Walmart. Necessities, not necessities. But then other large purchases alone were almost $1,800. $1,800. For what? We'll go over there individually. we'll go over those purchases individually pretty soon oh because random guys would hit you up on snapchat asking for news demanding for nudes is why you set up a no yeah like random people would add me on snapchat how do they even find you a public profile well why i would post gym content um back then so i don't do that anymore but they would add me on snapchat like i still have like hundreds of friend requests um and then they would always want like nudes or to do that so But then one day I was just like, maybe I could make money because I didn't want to do it. I'm just I'm just you can be a whore in real life. And we already know you are. And I celebrate that for you. You said it, not me. Your daughter's going to be in school at some point. It's so easy to find pictures. And it's just going to be so embarrassing. Now we're finally having the first generation of of creators. Their kids are entering school and there's so many embarrassing stories online. And this is out there forever. People own these pictures now. I just think. Oh, please. We should, you know, celebrate our sexuality. And I think it'll be more normalized. I'm okay with normalizing sexuality, but your nudes are out there forever. And your daughter knows that you... Somehow mine are not. And oh my goodness, have I sent a large amount over the years. Just it was a long time ago now, so I think I just got lucky on that. Hold on, let me check. Caleb Hammer Nude. Okay, there's a shirtless picture. pictures I've posted on my own Instagram a couple of our people on our show with like big boobs but those aren't me a big hairy man that's definitely not me um that's a shame yeah that's a shame I'm disappointed I do have an LPSG that I don't have an account so I can't do it and you need age verification in Texas. So you're just okay if your daughter gets made fun of because mother has literal, like, her jacking off her vagina online? Eeeh. That was very okay. I don't like that. So they're going to see that, and your daughter is going to be embarrassed, and you're okay with this. I just, I don't know. I don't think they'll see it. But again, we have the first generation finally entering school, and they see it. And not only that, but you actually considered meeting up with a guy from OF. Colton's telling me that's dangerous. You have a daughter who solely relies on you. She even had a guy ask her to meet up with her, and you considered it. Oh, yeah. That's dangerous. That's dangerous. You have a daughter who solely relies on you, and doesn't look like this guy would be able to take care of her. Why didn't this guy try to get split custody? Just the distancing? That's it? He did. Huh? He tried. And? Why didn't he get it? We live five hours apart. So it was the distancing. So the question that I asked, the answer would have been yes. Mm-hmm. Is there something else? No. Okay. You're doing the classic woman thing where you're just kind of avoiding answering a question and you're just giving a short answer. Correct. Because they don't want to talk about it. Yeah. no it's just yeah it was it was the distance i'm sure if we live closer it would be fine okay why are you living in springfield instead of back home where the kid can have a father in her life because springfield isn't giving you great opportunity you make 30 000 bucks a year so i was moving i had already moved we'd broken up our lease was up no i get it but you're just like it's not like you're taking advantage of springdale in any kind of economical way it's just hard to advance. Public health is hard to make. Okay, go into a different industry. My whole degree is public health. Take a certification to course careers that I'll get you for free. A lot of people use that in the audience to switch. But I like helping. I like a child having a father in her life and it sounds like you're the one that's kind of the reason that. He could have moved closer. Well, it sounds like, where are you guys from in Wisconsin? Madison. Okay, there's definitely more opportunities in Madison. Okay, but pay scale for, again, my degree. I have a Bachelor of Exactly. That's your choice that you're making and you're not switching fields and you're still early in a career where you could. And I need a Monday through Friday job. Yes. Am I saying get a Saturday through Wednesday job? Like what? Did I say that? I don't remember presenting that as an option. It's just hard to find a place that pays well Monday through Friday during the day. No one does this ever. I'm sure people do it. Yeah, I would say almost everyone with a career. It's very expensive with UW, with Epic. It's very expensive to live there. That is translated, and the cost of living is translated with the pay scale as well. But the minimum wage in Wisconsin is still $7.25. Minimum wage should have mattered. You're not making the minimum wage. 1% of the entire United States population makes the federal minimum wage. That has no impact on you and your job. To move housing would be more expensive. Sure, but you left. Yeah, because I didn't want to live there anymore, so I was moving to St. Louis. You did not want to live there anymore? Take a kid away from their father? I didn't know I was pregnant. And then by that time. I missed that part. Yeah, I didn't know I was pregnant when I moved. Or else I would not have moved. Okay, and when did you consider meeting this guy on Snap? Oh, back in the fall, I'm sure. What made you choose not to? What happened? Fall? Back in the fall? That was a couple months ago! And why didn't you? Please, why didn't you? Well, I mean, I probably shouldn't meet up with a random person. Okay, good. I wanted to make sure that it was a good reason, and that is a good reason. But they did offer a lot of money. A lot of money. Well, it was just like $500. That's a lot of money to me. You considered ruining you being alive. Oh, and you're considering leaving Springfield. Yes. Then go back to Madison. Maybe, yeah. I just, I can't right now. Because you have family support there. I have her family. That is family, asshole. Close. Not perfect. Almost there. That's kind of f***ing stupid, I'll be honest. But what's not is actually getting a checking account that gives you free money. Free money. We like free money. you can get up to $350 in bonus cash right now when you sign up for the checking account that I use, Chime. Also, it makes your savings grow at a 3.5 APY interest rate. Guys, you can watch Financial Audit and get free money at the same time. Who would have thought? That's incredible. Check it out. Link in the description below. Sign up for Chime. Get that $350 right now in your checking account. They're not, like, I don't know. They're not my parents. like my mom are the grandparents my kid that probably love her right yes and my mom well the thing is my mother used to live with me right because it's her house and then she moved back to chicago to take care of her parents then go to chicago i can't afford to oh my goodness first of all chicago is like the cheapest major city in the entire country first of all let me just say that second again you're right you can't on the springfield income typically that fall in a place like chicago this isn't new york where you're right that is hard you need a massive massive income adjustment to go there. Chicago is one of the cheapest. No, it is the cheapest major city in the United States. Major city. I'm in Detroit, but why are we considering that a major city Like a major powerhouse city It third population That before passed by the Dallas Metro but either way My minimums they just they too high Like my debt Then take care of that asshole What the fuck are you doing Why are you spending literal potential thousand, thousand five hundred on bullshit if you're in town? You want to leave Springfield, I'm being told. Yes, I would like to. And the options are in your brain because you're considering and wanting to leave? Possibly Chicago is on the list. Of which I just said, and you said, no, I said it's expensive now. Once this is paid off, hopefully one day in years, it'll be better. You're spending thousands on bullshit. You're getting subsidized by your mom. Go on. What other options? Which will, by the way, be a couple hours closer to the other side of the family. I do know that. Yeah. Which is good. That is good. We like that. We do. We're out. Considered St. Louis? No. There is like almost no bigger declining city in the entire country. Go to a place with economic. You're literally complaining about your job and income, and you're considering places with worsening and worsening economic opportunities. At least Chicago, it's a mess, but it's decent. St. Louis has a lot of perks. A lot of people leaving, yes. Same with Chicago, but St. Louis, no. What are the perks in St. Louis? The Arch? Cheaper housing. Dude, you know the income follows with that. I don't understand. Yeah, go live in the literal middle of Alabama. It's the cheapest housing you'll ever find. You'll make minimum wage. The 1% that actually makes federal minimum wage, that's where? You don't understand why the cost of living is higher in some places? Yes. I guess I've just always looked more in my field for jobs. First of all, you already make basically not great income, to be very clear. At your age, it's fine. But if you're making this same level of income inflation adjusted by the time you're in mid-40s, it's going to be horrendous. And I feel like with where the scale is going on what you do, it's going to be around there. If I stay at that one place, like where I'm working now. In health inspection. Yeah. Like last year, we only got 2% raise. So it was rough. Why don't you switch industries and get some education? Again, we're getting you free certification. Why not? Yes, you might have to start low totem pole. I just never. That'll still probably be the same income you're making now. and at least you can work your way up through something with the more career opportunities. And OF is not a career opportunity, especially for you. Like, I'm sorry, you're competing with Sophie Rain, who's one of the most attractive people in the history of the world. Probably has AIDS, but she is hot. Huh? Ari Kitsia. Huh? Ari Kitsia? She is hot. Oh, I'm getting a thumbs up from Brandon. Oh, yeah. She's dating Young Gravy now. I don't know why. I know Young Gravy, but. Oh, he's talented. But I haven't asked him about his OEF girlfriend. They started dating like last year, I think. Well done, Mr. Gravy. Yes. I appreciate you. Okay. And, but it's just like, you know, there's a lot of competition out there. That's not the career opportunity that I think is taking you to the next level. Clearly what you're in isn't doing that either. And the child support is minimal at best. so oh you have no plan do you no you're just latching yourself to this thing you're riding into death you're being subsidized by your mom you're spending thousands on bullshit what the fuck are you surviving I don't see survival you're being an actual child even though you have one of your own it doesn't make any sense being subsidized with mom you wouldn't survive without your mother we do love her that's a fact She is a great woman. She might be enabling her daughter of actually getting her shit together and taking care of her life for the very first time. How much debt do you have? I think around $40,000. Okay, it's rounded up about $50,000. How do you not know? How do you not know? You said you're trying to take care of this. Aren't you supposed to be a responsible single mother or are you just throwing it all away? I thought it was $40,000. Wrong again, idiot. Okay, well, it's not. I must be missing something. Technically in the 40s, but it's basically 50. Why are you so off? I don't know. Was that like off by 20%, 10%? Something like that? Yeah, that was pretty off. Yeah, why? Why do you not know your financial situation at all? Because you have a dependent. You're not like a single person with no responsibilities, nothing, just f***ing around having some fun. It doesn't matter to me. You literally have a five-year-old. You don't get the f*** around. It is your responsibility. You do not have that choice anymore. I mean, I tried to budget. What have you tried? Where's your try? Tell me your try. I haven't heard. I haven't seen try. Where's the try? You tried to budget? Cool. Tell me how much went out last month. Please. Trying to budget? Please. Tell me. No, you don't get to see. $4,000? I can't. I'm not wearing my glasses. $3,823 for $0.36. Why the f*** would that even be an option, trying to budget? Where's the trying to budget? I don't know if you're trying to budget. That's more than you make by far. So where the f*** is that going, trying to budget? I haven't seen trying to budget in here whatsoever. money i got rocket money i was doesn't matter if you don't use it was going and did you see a lot did you see do you see do you see yes yes i see you check a lot yet you spend more than you make make that make sense put that in your budget real quick and make that math make sense to me why do you spend more than you make i feel like that was like the first step you know like sure first step like trying to figure it out why haven't you moved on to step two three four five six Why are you on first step at the point of step 10? I'm just not good at it. It's something I'm not good at. Good. It's automated. What the fuck's wrong with you? No, like sticking to the budget. Why? Hold yourself accountable. What are you not doing? You have a child. You need to be accountable. You need to be held accountable. You need to force yourself to be accountable. You have a dependent. In what kind of world do you think it is okay, excusable, potentially even cute to not pay attention to your budget and hold yourself accountable? Why? What's wrong with you? I just feel, I don't know. Feel what? What do you feel? What's feeling other than being a slut online? Like sometimes we have to like have fun. I don't. Have fun. You have to have fun. You have to have fun more than make sure your child is set up for success. Make that make sense. Why are you trying to have fun? Why is that important? So she can have a good childhood. Good childhood. You're throwing away her childhood. Good luck ever funding anything for her ever, especially if this house goes away for whatever reason. Who knows why? Maybe not like not paying property taxes. I paid them. Okay. For now. Started this year or last year. Yeah, you post your little roast of beef online in order to get it. But it worked. It worked for now. At least for half of it. People start OOF strong and it goes down 99% of people. It's 1% that make it. So what are you talking about? Why is fun more important than actually establishing a good future for your child, being able to pay for her things when she's in middle school, high school, those extracurricular activities, maybe even to study abroad, going to college, being able to pay for her college. I guess I just. Get a first car. I think it'll all kind of work out. And how does that work? Tell me. How does it all work? Why do you think that? What suggested in here is leading you to thinking it's all going to work out? Right now, I'm seeing it's all worked out to you being 50,000 hours in depth, relying on your mother and literally posting your hairy titties online to be seen. I wouldn't say hairy. For me to jerk off to. I want to make that clear. Onto the phone where your hairy titties are. Why do you call them hairy titties? I'm just assuming based on this. You haven't seen them on this. Yeah, well. how many people have it's not going to be very unique if i do okay so what is suggesting that it'll all just work out very confident you're betting that i don't know how are you gonna make more in your job that doesn't make any more two percent raise so you saw you got a two percent raise you saw that this career has no career trajectory you say it yourself where's your make more tell me how you're thinking you're making more i don't see make more Where does it make more? I haven't gotten that far yet. That far? That's about two seconds of thinking. I don't have a plan together yet. I'll get a plan. What are you talking about, I'll get a plan? What do you mean? Why don't you have a plan if you're going to get a plan? Why is it always get a plan, not got a plan? I just don't have one yet. Why? I'll get one. Why? You started months ago. Where's your plan? In the works. No? Okay, where is it in the works then? What's been worked in the works? I want to see what's been worked out if it's in the works. Yep. So, fuck you. There's no plan. What are you talking about? You're just going to prostitute yourself again. You almost got railed for $500. That's wild. Come on. 100%. Not almost. I didn't go. Yes, you were considering meeting up with a guy who was definitely going to fuck you in one of your holes for $500. Are you kidding me? Prostitute. That's what this has led you to. Can Harry Titties Online be enabled by a mother and no career track? Sure, I'm okay with it. Yeah, two consenting adults decide to do that. But that's what it's leading you to, and it's not legal. So $500, by the way, not a great price. At least charge $1,000. I don't know if you're worth that. I'd say no, but either way, you can at least try. So that's where it's led you to. Plan, that's been your plan. And you have nothing worked on on a plan. Why are you considering a plan if you're not even actually looking to make a plan? There's no plan. You haven't sat down to even look at what might be a plan. You can't even look at your budgeting app. Not as good as DollarWise, by the way, but I get it. you have no accountability you literally flew in last night and went on the town with your sister and spent a shit ton of money accountability where's the accountability that's not accountability that's you spending a lot of money on the town and hope probably hoping to get railed no no no no no you're traveling not hoping to get railed we all don't hope to get railed no we ain't doing that hopefully we ain't doing that hopefully not but we still got i do not well not get railed be the railer the lane of rails or get railed no okay so you just went out on your partage spent all your money even though you have a daughter at home that you're not taking care of your mother's taking care of her she's subsidizing paying for the house let's be honest come on me for two days is not not taking care of my daughter you paying and blowing all your money instead of actually setting up for any kind of success is not taking care of your daughter thank you i take care of her she has but your mother essentially is subsidizing everything she's taking care of her you don't make enough money no college will be paid for no car will be paid for no help will be paid for no extracurricular activities will be paid for if there is a medical need that requires a certain kind of diet that is not going to be paid for there is no way so we'll get there we'll get there yeah your daughter's really going to love we'll get there when all of a sudden that's recording you're like oops didn't have it but we'll get there it's always we'll get there and after we got there that's great that's that's a wonderful selfish mother going out on the town when she can't afford it, not even to save her life, $50,000 in debt, nothing to show for it. Literally $500 to go take some dick. Come on. What a sick excuse. Sad. Pathetic. What are you doing? I'm just confused why you've attempted nothing to do this plan. Attempted nothing? Yes, you downloaded an app. Well done. We're all proud. But you've attempted nothing. It's always go get a plan. It's always I will budget. Why have you never sat down and actually tried anything in your damn life other than it's all in the future forever? You have a child. That's where it upsets me. Again, if you had nothing, no dependents, no nothing, we can have a fun little conversation. But f*** you. You got a five-year-old that's about to enter the public school system. F*** you. We're all going to be subsidizing you for the rest of our life. F*** you. Why aren't you doing anything, asshole? Who's subsidizing me? Just my mother. Oh, we will. Oh, trust me. Why would you? Child tax credit? No way you pay net more in taxes. F*** you. We're subsidizing you. Absolutely. I mean, I don't want to hear it. You get more than you give. You're a taker, not a giver. That's not true. Absolutely that is true. 30,000 hours a year, good luck. You don't give. You don't give. You're not a giver. And you're never trying to do anything in your life to move forward in life and actually contribute to this world in a productive way. I went to college and I don't have student loans. And how'd that happen? Yeah, you've never done anything yourself. My workplace. Huh? My workplace paid off my student loans. Oh, okay. How much student loans were there? So you did take student loans for what it's worth. Yes. $28,000. I don't even know what this note means. Colton said, well, she does have a boyfriend, kind of. He's 25, although she admits she usually only dates 22-year-olds. I usually don't like things that are serious. So I date younger because people my age like serious relationships. So you're literally just looking for hookups. Well, not anymore. That's okay if you are. I'm not anymore. I've met this guy. I like him. You're dating? Yes. It's happening. Yeah. Where are you in this relationship? Very new. He knows about my dad, though. I've already told him because I wanted to be very clear. Oh, they met through Snapchat. So you're meeting guys through Snapchat. You met a guy through Snapchat and you... He literally... No way you didn't. We went on a date. At the end? Yes, exactly. It was a date. That's normal. on snapchat it is not normal to meet a rando on snapchat all the time not on snapchat that is weird a random ad on snapchat meet up and absolutely not through dating apps people meet all the time it's like dating apps is meant to meet people snapchat is not a random ad on snap is crazy is literally like one of like the biggest ways to communicate with multiple people like i know you're like 40 but like it doesn't work that way you're one year younger than me what is wrong with you older i don't know it's something about you what are you talking about you're the You're the one with dents all over your face that age you like 30 years. I know. No, my skin's so bad. Yeah, it's horrendous. What are you talking about? I look 40. What are you talking about? You look 50. I said it was your energy that gave 40. Energy? What are you talking about? I'm carrying this whole conversation. You can't contribute anything just like the society. Okay. So you're meeting randos on Snapchat? No, I don't think young people do that. I've never met a random off Snapchat until. Okay, until you did and it was him. Until the one. I'm just saying people meet online all the time. They do in meeting apps. Snapchat is not a meeting app. Could be. It's risky. Could have gotten AIDS. That's wild. People don't get AIDS? That before you hook up with somebody, don't ask for their test results and look at the negative results. Look at the negative result. What happens if until they, what if they got something before, by the way, HIV doesn't even show for three months. You make them test before you hook up. Did you raw that night? A random Snapchat added you rawed? I mean, I would have too, but I'm going to shame you for it. We had talked for like weeks before that. Weeks. a random snapchat ad is crazy i've never heard that if you have a public profile random people can add you no shit i don't meet up with them normally i don't either but no you did yeah well he was different they're not people they're not people like profiles like on instagram or something i would accept i've done that a random same no it is not there are you see their friends you see followers you see their everything you see their life yeah and we added each other on social media before that we literally talked on the phone we were talking for weeks it's not that weird snapchat's the grinder of the straights might be from the way you've used it use the ticks and raw semen did he finish inside of you that's a good what did he finish inside of you which when you first met that night i know it seems like a deeply inappropriate question it's because it is but i am also making a point here did he the fact that you're not saying no means yes he did that's crazy so a snap that's crazy random well first of all crazy i will tell you why it's crazy huh a lot of people have like a you know a cum thing a breeding kink is that what it's called i'm glad we're learning a bunch of kinks no no i'm just saying the example person you were dating a guy he did that that resulted in a child i got my tubes removed oh okay there we go okay Okay, that removes half the concern. The second half of the concern is, I know you did the little test result thing, but people are liars, even though it's against the law. People are still liars. No, you have them pull them up on their phone. I know, but something can happen before then. Within like 24 hours? So he got tested 24 hours before. What about the fact that HIV can be untestable for three months, even though still contagious? Contagious? PrEP. Huh? PrEP? You're on PrEP? whoa a straight woman on prep it's smart if you're having unprotected sex honestly you're a whore and we love it you gotta be a responsible you're certified if you're if you're a straight woman on prep you are a whore and i love that for you and i love that for you that's great and now i'm tied down so not a whore no that's great just but taking a raw load on meeting on snapchat blows my mind i was trying to make a point here but you're right you actually did the safe steps, I will accept it. I will accept it. I will accept it. You're on prep, and you're right. If you got gonorrhea or comitium, it doesn't matter. It's a pill, and it's gone. That one's so curable. You've had those, right? Every whore has. When I was younger, yes. Everyone has when they were younger. Of course. You never? That's wild. I feel like everyone gets, like, an STI at least once in their life. It happens in college. It's okay. We accept it. Okay. Well, I think I at least understand you a little bit more now. We'll get into the finances. What do you think your financial score is 0 to 10? 0 being the worst, 10 being the best. 0. Okay. Listen, if you want your Hammer financial score, see where you stand in the world of money for free at CalebHammer.com. Just takes a few minutes. See where you're doing poorly, what you need to do to improve, and where you are doing well. That is for free at CalebHammer.com. and also if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show make sure you take prep and also download the dollar wise budgeting app again there is a free trial tens of thousands of monthly active users using it to change their life for a reason because it's incredible new features being added every single month it is the future of budgeting apps and if you sign up only through the end of march for the annual version i will personally sign my budget from the cookbook and mail it directly to you it is going away at the end of march this is the last chance to get it then it's going to win. What do you think your whore score is? 0-10, 0 being no whoring, 10 being ultimate whoring? 12. Self-aware on that part. Huh? What? Herps-filled whore. We love her for that. If you want your whore score, go to calebhammer.com forward slash whore. See where you stand in the world of whore, where you need to whore more, and where you're not whoring enough. Good, good. I like that. Well done. Okay. discover discover it discover it it's what most men discover that oh i got bumps on my dick after i slept with her they discovered it no one has ever discovered in this one oh my gosh can i tell you i thought i had herpes once and it terrified me no me too it was after i like i coaxed her into it she has herpes no i don't have herpes she has herpes after shaving you get shaving bumps and i went to the doctor freaking out and they're like dear god they did they swap them they're good i I go to the doctor all the time. I just had a zit. You had herpes. Okay, so discover it. What happened? You didn't know a zit. How many STD treatments were spent on here last month? Discover. Okay. Discover it. Why discover it? That's the card, discover it. It's not just a traditional discover card. It's discover it. Oh, I didn't know that there were. Well, I don't know if you have other discover cards. No, I don't. I don't. I don't. You have a shit ton of cards, so I don't know. Okay, discover it. What's going on? um it just added up very quickly i originally opened it i think in 22 2022 um you used to be a manager does that not pay more than what you're doing now were you a gm um i lived in madison at the time but still it's from illinois so it's from that area yeah i was there i worked from like 17 until 21 were you a gm eventually yes didn't you make more than you make now um no because it was i mean it was back in like 2016 i would say it was but you know gm inflation adjusted for sure what were you making what was your salary as i think now it would be more yeah what was your salary as the gm in 2016 40 something oh my goodness yeah probably about 50 then today i think i think pretty high today yeah starbucks is bull and a waste of money and you already know that by making your coffee at home and invest in the rest. So now you need to do that with your energy drink as well. Make Gamer Subs at home for just 40 cents a serving. And honestly, it literally tastes better. And we proved this accidentally via a blind taste test in our Hammer Elite show, Fat and Fatter. The number one ranked energy drink is Gamer Subs. Literally, the cherry flavor is insane. Listen, you can also get free samples to see if you like it or 10% off your order at Gamersubs.gg or click that link in the description below. Type in code Caleb. It's a win-win. You get money and I get money. These are called affiliates and you get that sweet, sweet cash for signing up for some amazing products. The first one is Chime. This is a checking account that I personally use and you get up to a $350 bonus with a new Chime checking account and earn up to 3.5% APY on your savings. And second, my investing app of choice these days is Webull and get a 2% match on all of your money that you transfer over. And finally, sign up for automated investing with Acorns. Typically, the sign-up bonus is only $5, but with my link, you get $20. Ladies and gents, you get money. I get money. Enjoy! Links are in the description below. Why the f*** don't you just go be a GM at Jimmy John's? You make money. The hours were grueling. Well you have to show up really early And it weird Well that wasn bad Isn it like well it like Wednesday to Sunday right Yeah And you get Monday and Tuesday are your off days So that part of the issue And then, yeah. So just like the schedule. You can make more money right now, even just in food service. You could DM any food establishment and you would make more. Yeah, but maybe there's better hours. Panda Express pays over $100,000. Yeah. and maybe it's monday through friday we don't even know like you're right not the best GM position it just shows how you make nothing and any other job will pay you more as long as you actually buckle down and do like career position not just like hourly okay okay continue discover it what um i think that one mainly goes i know we went to back in 2022 and to disney and why you also make no money that's stupid but yeah i didn't you still owe on i don't know if it's from i don't know 2022 disney what world are you still on it on a credit card that is great interest of the dick well then i also put like stuff on there oh yeah going to st louis recently i do go to st louis quite often why my my best friend lives there i don't know why she lives there she likes the city we're sitting in the country we have fun no no you don't we saw sexy red you don't huh we saw sexy red there yeah go see her in a better place where everywhere else um yeah so that one like sometimes i'll put like concerts on there or literally drive an hour away just to go to seven brew all the time they're opening one though i'm so excited oh no that's horrible that's horrible seven brew close close this location you're about to open before she I'm so excited Go be a GM at Seven Brew That's not a bad idea. No it's not. There's so many good ideas and yet you do none of them You drive an hour away to go to this place and spend money so gas for coffee? For coffee? What even is Seven Brew? I know it's coffee What's so good about it? It's a chain They just have a lot of sugar free flavors and I like sugar free flavors you have a child you drive an hour away for coffee the hour I mean that's also where the guy I'm seeing lives oh my death let me see this man it won't be put on screen let me see this man I need to see what this man is accepting what kind of what kind of guy like we all need whores so that we can whore. But no one wants to settle down with a whore. Speak for yourself, motherfucker. Hey. I'm trying to find like a photo. It's like, okay. I'm sorry. That is sexist because you're right. Men are whores and they don't want to settle down with whores. It's a weird thing. I get it. But, listen. I don't shook your coat. That is just the reality of out there. Culture might change at some point. It hasn't yet. You don't have a picture of this guy. The guy that's railing you. We do have a picture. okay yeah it makes sense okay got it okay looks match we love it i got lucky i'm down here but like at least you know you're both down there 20 years to pay this off your child will be done with college she'll be five she'll be like three years into a career by the time this is paid off just for the sake of you going to st louis to see sexy red just for the sake of you going an hour away to seven bro and take some seven inch we hope for your sake because he needs something I don't I don't know yeah I want to obviously pay that card off you paid your minimum fee payment and then spent money on it you want to pay it off I don't see you wanting to pay it off oh it's over maxed out you want to pay it off what are you talking about credit score 582 you want to pay it off you're over the credit limit by $40 you want to pay it off $0.72 as well you want to pay it off 80.91 cents of interest paying it off that's not paying it off you only paid it off minimum monthly payment takes you to 20 years if you don't even purchase yet you purchased 25.89 cents what is your wanting to pay it off I don't see you wanting to pay it off you wanted to pay it off liar I want to get some work done so I want to pay that off so I can put it on the card work done? yeah well you're going to need a lot what are you starting with my skin yeah that's what I would have started with okay How much is that going to cost? What are you going to do? Scar removal? Maybe. The answer is yes. Okay. Good. That's good. We all had zits. Some had worse. But I'm glad you don't anymore because you get sugar free. Yeah, I stick to a pretty strict diet. That's good. That's good. And exercise regimen. We don't need middle school craters. That's good. Okay. What's that going to cost? Because I encourage it. Listen, that's self-confidence. And it's also, yeah, it's good. Yeah, yeah. How much is that going to cost? It depends on how many sessions it takes. I won't know until I go home. What do they think? What have they projected? Have you sat down for a consultation? Not yet. What does a session cost then? I would say like $500. Okay. Because it's kind of like, yeah. And this is a extreme mild or light case. I don't know. I haven't studied. Listen, I got my creators. I got them. I got them too. I'd say it's pretty bad. Okay. Extreme. So what is that, like five? I'd say at least like one session a month for at least six months. Oh, boy. That's a lot. So it's a $500 monthly payment for six months? I think so. And you want to clear up this credit card instead of taking your child even more so that you can do facial reconstruction, of which, again, I do support this. I want you to do this for self-confidence, for many reasons. for the guy that's sticking it in. You know, I want you to... Why would I do it for him? What? Well, so he can be more attractive to you. I'm sure he's attractive to me. I said more. More? I don't... You don't want him to be more attractive to you? I mean, I wouldn't do it for somebody else. I want my girlfriend to be more attractive to me. I wouldn't want to do it for somebody else. You don't want to be more attractive? You should do work for yourself, not for other people. You should, but it's okay to also want to be attracted and attractive. Oh, I don't really care. Oh, yeah, feminist power woman doesn't care about other people. Come on, we all want to be more attractive to other people. Shut the f*** up. What is this performative crap? Shut the f*** up. Of course you do. Okay. Of course, you're doing it for you. I prefer people do this. Yes. Yeah. But you're doing it also because you want other people to be more attractive to you. No, I just want to be able to not, like, wear makeup, pretty much. Okay. Great. So instead, again, oh my goodness, you've already booked a $1,100 hair extension for next month. What about your f***ing future of your daughter? What are we doing? What are we doing hair extensions for $1,100? Because my hair is really thin from, like, years of issues. What issues? I told you, AIDS. Not eating, and then, what is it called? Sorry, I'm, like, nervous. You got a touch of the anorexia? Touch of the Ariana Grande? Yeah. And then pregnancy. I'm glad you don't anymore. Breastfeeding takes it from you a lot. From your hair? Well, all the nutrients it takes to feed the kid. That's true. When I breastfeed Brandon, I do start noticing a bald spot. So I told him to take a break, but dude, I have to lock my door. That man's trying to get to my tits so hard. I'm just trying to grow it back a little right now. See? I'm trying to grow it back. That dude is busting down my door to try to latch on, though. Brandon, calm down. Calm down. No titty milk today. You got to give me a month. Okay. Yeah, I get that. I get that. Titty milk takes away. I've heard about it. You okay? Am I going too hard? Well, I'm happy to back off. I know we're going a bit hard. I'm gooned up today. I'm coming in guns a blazing, but I don't want to actually I really don't know what no it's okay because the episode's crazy and it's hard of course you know lots of onboarding and got permission for literally every single thing I've said but you know in the moment listen if it's too much right now I'm happy to back off well okay I think it's just nerds where do the tissues go how can they be there and then all of a sudden they go away Mark what were you planning on doing back there holding a box of tissues you freak love you freak mark sees women crying and he takes the tissues and brings them closer to himself because I think he's about to jack off mark we can keep going okay $107 minimum fee payment again you're over the limit takes 20 years to pay off credit score is horrendous this is rough it's for an apple bill and it's for something zoo some zoo thing yeah we went to the zoo but again just to max out a credit card this indicates you cannot go to the zoo if you have to put it on a credit card that gets maxed out it's as simple as that i want you to give your child fun things i do they're a child they want fun things you want to give that was it for your child or was it for the days oh no that was for her. Oh, thanks. Okay. So, Elise, again, there's a part there that I want, but this is telling you that you cannot afford it. It's simple as that. Listen, I'll let you use the FIS card, debit card that builds credit, okay? And you need to build credit, but you can't spend more on your checking account than you have. A lot, yeah. Yeah, a lot. I went through, like, a time where I couldn't, like, keep up, obviously, and... You're at that time. Yeah. It's under 26.99% interest rate. What's the point of putting these things on here that over... Like, you got a cashback bonus of 26 cents. All that for this. All this for that. This is. Okay, Quicksilver one. What's happening? Oh, God. That one was opened for. You got pre-sale tickets to the Eros Tour. For the Eros Tour! The Eros Tour! no i think it was her last four don't come after me i don't mean it like that i just mean you can't afford it is what i'm specifically saying yeah i mean that was years ago right they won a year ago it was in 2023 what you open this and it's still maxed out for ares tour taylor swift 2023 for like for like new things for that taylor yeah and then like yeah then this year like four concerts. Sexy Red? No, that was 2023. 24. That was 24. What did you go to in 2025 concerts to max out this f***ing card? Um. Keep it maxed out to never pay it off. Like, who the f*** did you see? Hobo Johnson. But that was a free... Hobo Johnson. Hobo Johnson? Yeah. I would say the tickets aren't super expensive. We don't have knowledge of Hobo Johnson here. What's the next one? um cake what cake it's like a 90 divorced 90s dad band well you speed ran that with your ex okay number three um who's that girl or no i'm not a girl oh on a sav did i go to a girl oh no we're maxing out for these people I would say a hosier. Okay, you got one. I do love a good hosier. And it's not like... I don't even think it's a good... He's so good. His voice is incredible. He is such a good performer. He gets a little ranty on social issues that he's not really informed on. But he is... He's a little performative. That's okay because he is a performer. So I get it. And also just blowing $60 every second of your life for new Alani flavors? Because you're subscribed to their website? Stop! I love Alani. You're done. You're switching to GamerSuffs. Just like your, what was it, Seven Brew? You're making coffee at home. I just got rid of my Nespresso machine. Quiet now. You're making coffee at home, and instead of Alani, you're making energy drinks at home. These are free samples to see what flavors you like. They're very goony names. I get it. But literally, every single person who's been on the show that has tried it loves it. All the commenters who have tried it love it. It is incredible. We blind taste tested energy drinks. This tied first place. it is incredible these are free samples then using you know code caleb with gamer subs blah blah blah you can get free samples right now too see what flavor you like it's 40 cents a serving once you buy the bulk packs 40 cents a serving you're making coffee at home no more seven brew you have a child you're not on an alani list anymore unsubscribe gamer subs is what you're doing now 40 cents a serving stop stop stop stop you have max health credit cards in a child It is no longer an option. You owe, on a $500 balance, $493.16 with a minimum monthly payment of $25. You started way over maxed out the previous month. Which one's that? Huh? You what? What'd you call me? No, I said, which one is that? Quick silver one. Oh, it's the same. Okay. You have hundreds of interest charged last year already. hundreds upon hundreds upon hundreds oh my goodness are you clarining affirming what is this I think it's a firm a firm oh my goodness $640.61 crazy crazy I'm going to assume your minimum payments are about $150 pull up your Amazon start a screen recording let's go but you met a separate love of your life at a Chicago concert are you going to leave the current man for that man once you finally learn his last name because apparently you don't know his last name or anything about him goodness no that was just after the Huppet Johnson concert he was an Australian man we did not hook up we just made out you're dreaming of the rail but he was Australian and he had long beautiful hair that I've been on this trend. I know the trend you're doing. No, that's the... You're on the zero calories, sugar-free Jolly Ranchers. My mom ordered those, and that was for... Those are for my grandma. My grandma likes them. What is all finance here on Amazon? Because I'm not seeing them. Those are from months ago. Bedshirt, gentle, 100%. Yeah, but they're still financed. No, those aren't. Those are my mom's orders. On your firm? No, no, no. No, your firms are still being paid for. Oh, yeah. So I'm saying my Amazon is a show. That was my mom. Okay. And I got rid of my Prime, so I don't order anymore. Good. I mean, laying down towels, I'm sure you need to. That's a good thing. I have a good house. Oh, never mind. She doesn't. That's a bad thing. She doesn't do her job properly. That's not good. I have plenty of towels. I don't need more. But, no, you'd have to, like, look back at, like, order again, maybe. Those might show some of my purchases. Deal. Deal. Candle. gangster shirt that wasn't my lots of jolly rancher stuff more shirts you got long sleeve crop top booty blah blah blah workout shit door birthday party supplies sexy body chains for women did it work yeah i guess not dumping in we know you love to get dumped in six and what's dumping in he's reusable glass straws oh booty come in my four years old era oh that was shirt 29 birthday party decorations you got your own birthday decorations yeah okay socks two-piece outfit for women pants gold waist chain okay and then we're going further back last year we don't 100 need to go that far back and a gay shirt feminist girls is what i told you you were like the version of feminist just based on the language you use i don't care if anyone finds me attractive we all care if people find us attractive you don't need to be a strong independent woman I think you have to maybe go to therapy for that. What? So you can get rid of being such a people pleaser. Dude, it's literal basic biology for basically every living thing that has ever been found on this planet. The courting, the bird, the mating rituals. It is basic to want to be literally considered attractive to people. What is this modern day? Because that's not real feminism. Real feminism is supporting women's rights. It's supporting women in Iran who should be free to dress how they want to, should be able to drive, should be able to do things they want and not be married off at children. That's real feminism. They're not protesting that for whatever reason. I don't know why. It's more performative stuff like this. I don't need a man to find me attractive. I'm doing everything for me. And I'm going to post a whole of myself online. Thank you. It's no longer feminism. You've lost it. one main financial 404.28 is owed nope that's a lie that's your minimum monthly payment what is this this is horrible oh oh what is this um oh what is this you literally f***ing owe $6,507 dollars and five cents. Five cents! Oh, and a $4,09 $0.28 minimum monthly payment and a 20 and a 35% interest rate of death. What is this? I'd get acne under the stress of having this if I was you as well. I was struggling and... Why? Because you spent all your money going to St. Louis? uh-huh um i mean what i don't know maybe yes absolutely are you kidding me come on so i was gonna pay off everything so i would have one payment you consolidated under 35 percent i didn't understand i thought it'd be better just under one payment than multiple Ew! Consolidating to a 35% of this shit, I've never even heard of that. No one's ever done that in the history of this world. You're the first one. You're the first one. You are the first one. You made history. No one's ever done this. I'm sure other people have, but you're the first one to ever do this. What the fuck is wrong? I don't know what to do. It's crazy. They're making so much money off of you. Why didn't I just start a company like that instead? Why couldn't I just not have morals and just abused the financial system we have. What a wasted opportunity. Oh my goodness. Yeah, that one's rough. I didn't understand. Dude, I swear. I swear. We're both whores. And we like different things. Everyone has a different flavor they crave post-nut. Mine, for some reason, I want McDonald's fries and ice cream. You just want to take out a 35% interest rate. You come and you're like, I need to get a 35% interest rate loan. This is what you flavor. Some people need a cigarette. You just need a horrendous death that will destroy your life. That's what is happening. Yeah, I've been paying on that for a while. Want to know a dirty little secret? And no, I'm not starting an only. You're not broke because you suck with money. You just can't see where it's going. If your bank account is empty at the end of every month, that is not bad luck. That is bad tracking. And it's exactly why I use DollarWise. It shows you exactly where your money's going every single month. Spending, subscriptions, and savings all in one simple dashboard. Everything you need and nothing you don't. And when you download DollarWise today, you'll get six to try it for free, plus three months for just $9.99. So you can finally take control and see what your money's been doing behind your back. Click below to get started. Guys, just real quick, don't forget to take your Hammer Financial Score at calebhammer.com. See where you stand, where you gotta do better, where you're doing shit. Listen, it just takes a few minutes and it is free. Figure out where you stand in the world of money. Calebhammer.com. Have you now? I bet. I bet. When did you do this? What was the balance when you took it out? I think it was $9,000 or $10,000. And you built all the cards back up again. Who would have thought? If you don't change the behavior before you do bankruptcy, consolidation, transfer, personal loans. Yeah. Get up. Sorry. When? I think it was June of... 23. No, 24. Oh. 24. Okay. Oh, my goodness. Well, you had lawyer debt. Daycare debt? Mm-hmm. What? There even is daycare debt. Not even in Minnesota. Who are you going to daycare debt to? To daycare. Why? For what? I have lost my help. What? The state helps if you're... So I lost it. Why? Well okay because this was years ago 20 years ago But I had started making more because yeah And then I had gone over the threshold. But once I reevaluated, it was fine because I used to count in child support as part of your income. Who did you owe the debt to? I owe the debt to her daycare. Oh, my gosh. How much was it? How much daycare debt did you accumulate? Like $6,000. What the – Well, a month is like $1,000. What the fuck? Yeah. And I like. No wonder those places are making so much money. With my subsidized. Like I paid $250. But. And. But I have to. The lawyer. The lawyer's from custody. What? So more did happen. I mean. Kind of. Not really. It was just. I was served with paper. So I had to get a lawyer. How much did you spend on lawyer? I have $1,200 in debt to my lawyer I love it, that's why I love serving people because I immediately send them into debt if they're being assholes it's my favorite thing to do his retainer was like $3,000 lawyers are chunky that's a cheap lawyer that's a cheap lawyer in the area, he's more expensive a $15,000 retainer our area is cheaper lawyers? I don't know it's like $300 an hour for shit lawyers Oh, no. He's like the best in our area. 300 is okay. Yeah. It's just a low retainer. Yeah. Well, they didn't think the case was going to be that long. I see. Okay. And was it? Was it easy? It was like a year, maybe. So the dude wanted to have more custody. Yeah. Why didn't you give it? Well, at the time she was breastfeeding. Yeah? So you can't. She had to breastfeed. Wait. Don't they pump? and give like overnight milk? She refused bottles her whole life. And sorry, it was after she... So now he never gets custody because of this? That doesn't seem very nice. No, he gets extended time in the summer. Like we agree. We agree now. Oh, that's not part of the year. We do everything without lawyers now. We just talk about it and make her schedule together. And now we do like the family days. But he gets, because we live so far apart, he can't really do 50-50. Or are you sure you're just bad at teaching your kid? because you literally bought a cat last year just to get her to potty train. Okay, children can be difficult. What? Crazy. Well, you don't have any. I don't, but guess what? And potty training. You know how I was born? I was a child, and that happened to every single human throughout human history? You're not a unique case. Potty training was taking a while, and so she had her chart, and she'd been asking for a cat for years. So I said when she potty trained, she worked for it and she got the cat. Why didn't you just adopt the cat instead of doing a $400? You spent $400. On what? The cat, I'm being told. Oh, on stuff for the cat. No, we went to the shelter and picked out a cat. That's good. And it was like $50. That's my lawyer. You still owe this. I thought the consolidation was for that. So do you still owe the daycare? Yes. Oh, for dick's sake. What are we doing? So you literally still owe the, I hope they sue you. So you have to go get another lawyer. I make monthly payments. To the lawyer? To the daycare. Okay, so but you owe the lawyer $1,281. Why haven't they gone to small claims, I'm curious. I don't know. So what are you doing with this? Um, I don't, what am I doing with it? You don't care? I do, I just, it's not. You haven't asked for a minimum payment? No. Why'd they do the work without you actually paying the retainer? I paid the retainer. So this was additional? Yes. Why they do work without you paying for it? They bill you after. Because they'll put their hours in there. Yeah, but usually they do a monthly bill. Oh, I don't know. This is weird. Why don't you just call them and ask for a monthly payment? And did you pay the retainer or did your mom? Ah. I was a college student. So she did. Yeah, but you've just done nothing ever. I mean... And what have you done besides birthing a child? When I found out I was pregnant, I went back to school to get my degree to try to make a better life. Yeah, but you got a shit degree that has no return in the market. You didn't have access to Google? That's weird. Is that not in the Midwest anymore? Did they take that away after I left? I don't think so. I don't remember. You want to take a break or is everything okay? again, I'm happy to tone down. The tone is set by what we talked about and agreed on, and I'm happy to bring it down. I really am. I do not want to bring you to... The whole point of this conversation, and for those watching, is it is certainly intense, and it certainly is over the top. It is for the show and the sake of the conversation, and the meeting guest has paid off... What was it? I forgot. 15,000 in 12 months? I don't remember. Or like over $20,000 in 12 months. Like it works. But the thing is, the tone is set by what you agree on. And I'm happy to be down here when you need to be here. Because I bring the chaos and craziness and jokes and humor when the guest is okay with that. Of which, you know, you were. But I'm happy to bring it down. I just think it's like when I talk about her. The kid. Or the mom. The kid? Okay. What's going through your head when you think about the kid? Tell me. I don't know. That I'm just a bad parent? I don't... Yeah, you f***ed up. You f***ed up. I'm not going to sugarcoat. You f***ed up. And you're still prioritizing fun. It is fun out of love for the kid. You're not bad in terms of you are like an actively like choosing to like... Well, okay, you're making choices, but you're not like... You're not abusive. That's not the kind of bad you are. You're bad in terms of you have to manage the household finances for the sake of the kid because it impacts it. I grew up in the financial household. I know how it impacts. Okay? And luckily my youngest brother, who's still in the upper ages of high school, he's grown up in a great financial household because they learned it. I was the first one. This kid's the first one and last one from the sounds of the removal of tubes. But it is still your responsibility to take care of this. Yes, you f***ed it up, but you don't have to from here is the whole point of the show. This whole point of the show goons and goes crazy on what you are doing now and what you've done. But it doesn't mean your future is bad. You get to make the choices leaving from here. And you get all the resources, the Master Your Money program, which has all of our classes, the premium version of DollarWise, cookbook, meal plan, certifications, the Fizz, you get Helium for cheaper sales service. We give it all, every resource you could ever need, plus more if you request. So does your choice from here. Yes, you f*** up, and it is good to acknowledge that. So I respect the tears on that part. But now you need to get your shit together, okay? For the sake of your kid. For the sake of your kid. Because your kid's all that matters in this world to you, okay? That's typically how it works. Why do you owe your friend $200? bucks. I'm sorry. Her and I don't really talk anymore. Why? Because your money didn't pay back? No. Why? I don't know. Things just got weird. Well, because you're bi and you went lesbian with her? No. That's a shame. That would have been fun. I think that one she had used her card somewhere. I don't know. Okay. Maybe we'll pay that back. Okay. You owe your mom $4,000 to $6,000. I'll say $5,000. Why? What the f***? The retainer for the lawyer. Oh. Are you doing monthly payments to your mother? How does it work? We haven't really talked about it. I've sent her like $500 once, and I haven't sent anything else since. Oh, your mom bought computer games. Oh, she, uh, my computer broke while I was in college and she bought my new one. Okay. Oh, she gave me an old car too. And helped with groceries. Okay. She did everything. Eastern Illinois University where they founded. You owe money too. Mm-hmm. Why? Um, I was late returning the textbooks and I think it was past the time. Hey dude, have you ever done anything? Daycare? Yeah, there it is. Okay, what's your minimum payment to daycare that you owe $5,400 to? $2.50. My life. That's insanity. Oh, my gosh. Current. Okay, here we go. Is this car? Yeah. Oh, what is the interest rate? 17%. Why? $22,636.74. 17%? with the $536.88 minimum payment term probably forever what is this car what is it it's just a 2019 Nissan Rogue what do you think it's worth that you owe 22,000 a 17% with a minimum payment you cannot afford to save your life for a Nissan Rogue good luck with that transmission how much do you think it's worth I think like 14,000 13,000 yeah I didn't want to buy a car but I had to I wanted to make sure it worked you don't think a 10,000 hour car works take it to a mechanic get it approved I just needed one really quick so you rushed into a complete financial mistake that's destroying your entire life and accruing a minimum payment that you can't afford to save your life what? That's how you make decisions? Like my old car, it broke down literally like on the side of the highway. That sucks. You can Uber for a couple weeks. I'm sorry. We don't have Uber in the area. What? When was this? Oh, sorry. When did my car break down? Yes. May, April. You didn't have Uber or Lyft or anything. What? And for my job, I have to drive every day. What? And then to take my daughter to her dad, I have to have a meet halfway. Get a rental car with your insurance. Get a rental car. That's still better than making a long-term error. That's f***ing your entire life. Get a rental. It's not great. It's not the most affordable thing in the world. But we're going to save you tens of thousands of dollars going forward. Yeah. So look for a car for a couple weeks instead of a couple hours. And I didn't want to ask for a co-signer. Oh, but your mom also gave you an old car to use. That's the sitting. That's the one that broke down. How much did it cost to repair? They couldn't repair it. There was, like, a leak. And they said... Can't repair a leak? It was in, like, some weird part of it. And the mechanic a couple years ago told me to get a new car when I could. When you could? You couldn't. Yeah, but there was no really real way to fix this one. Because there was a... Rantel car. Then get a $10,000 car. Or... You're... You're fit. Yeah. 17% interest rate of death. Okay, that looks like all your debt. Only a couple hundred bucks in checking account. And it's off. Oh, it's off. Dunkin' Donuts. Going in and getting some bullshit. Starbucks getting bullshit. Starbucks. Is this a check? You're writing a check for $100? Writing a check for $100? That's daycare. They don't do online payments, so I have to write checks. Or do cash. Ginger ale, ginger ale, Sonic driving, Starbucks, getting some bullshit. That's why that's okay. Walmart's unknown. That's where I grocery shop. I hope so, but I hope you're getting nothing else while you're there, ever. Uh-huh. It depends. Exactly. That's why it's unknown. Bullshit. Affirm, affirm, affirm. Starbucks, potential bullshit to groceries or a mixture of both. Another check, $990.61. $900? $90? $990. Oh, that was half of my property tax. Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi! Going in and getting some bullshit! Going in and getting some bullshit! Going in and getting some bullshit! Going in and getting some bullshit! $100 check, getting some bullshit! Dairy Queen bullshit! Seven brew. Death. Grindhead? That's a coffee. Oh, Spirit Halloween. That's a shit ton of money. Bullshit. Check $100. Bullshit. Bullshit. Ginger ale. Once more. Ginger ale. Ginger ale. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Yoga. Check for $250. All the checks are daycare. Oh, you went negative. Oh, that one. You went negative. You bounced. You went negative. You went negative $23 with that. Yeah. That's crazy. Bullshit, bullshit, affirm, bullshit, bullshit, potential. Which also, that Walmart push you a negative. The affirms are, you know, paying off. Yeah, I know. I didn't say those were bullshit, but they're still affirms. The Walmart one, which sometimes a part of it is bullshit, I bet every time, push you a negative $12.71. And then Starbucks, like, what are we fucking doing? Overdraft fee, you got two this period. And last year in 2025, well, actually, no, because this was in September, so I'm sure it was even more. It's only three-fourths of the year. Either way... What is it, 32 per overdraft? Yeah, 26 overdrafts. You probably had 35 overdrafts by year-end. What the f***? You're a mother, and you're choosing to go to Seven Brew while you're overdrafing? You're a mother. You stop in a gas station and get some bullshit? You're a mother, and you're overdrafing? You're a mother! You do not get to go to the zoo when you're overdrafing? You, I'm sorry, you are a mother! it is no longer an option this is no longer a choice driving an R for 7 brew is not a thing ugh okay so no this is projected what do you even have in retirement it's just projected what it's going to be I think almost 3 maybe yeah $2,650 it's a little it's a little different for the state they automatically take like 8% yeah it's not doing great it probably isn't getting great returns either And then if you work there for the number of years, you'll never run out of your retirement. I know. Well, pensions, by the way, are being pushed to the absolute mess, especially in Illinois. They're pension. They're pension. They're not funding pensions correctly. I don't even know if that'll actually be there in a sustainable or high enough way to take care of the bills by the time you retire. Pensions don't want you. With the regulations and pensions and the risk adverse nature in pensions, their growth rates are absolutely horrendous compared to the overall marketplace. and it doesn't keep up and then it's harder to pay out. It's brutal. Okay, income. We're not counting OF anymore. So $3,600 is your income. I also get like $200 for reimbursement for gas for my job. That's like the average. Okay. Okay, so $3,800. That's the average. So every piece of gas. yeah i'm putting gas at zero and income at 3 600 okay debt minimum payments let's find out so your mom owes the house right all all or full out no then why are you paying property tax in these weird chunks instead of because paying her for the property tax portion of the mortgage her mortgage is set up it doesn't include the property tax yeah i'm just okay it's weird so i I don't know. Oh, like why do I pay more? Okay, either way. $1,484.16 is your minimum fee debt payment. So that's chaos. And yet you're having fun? Come on. What's your rent? $365. That including the property taxes? No. How much of that? $2,000. Per? Year. Okay, so $2,000, which you need to save monthly, divided by 12, plus $365. Okay, your monthly rent is $532. Gas, electric, utilities, all that combined, how much? And internet as well. I don't have internet, but $350 for water and gas. Okay. Phone bill? $75. Okay. Car insurance? $180. Necessary food? It's going to be, I'm going to say $500. You and the kid. Meal plan, meal prep, warm up. That's what it's going to be. Follow the meal plan. Follow the cookbook. Easy peasy. It's a little annoying. It's not the most luxurious thing in the world, but you'll be fine. TP fund, $200. Anything else you and the kids need to survive? Toilet paper, tampons, all the good stuff. Makeup. Medical health here. Co-pays, why not on a monthly basis? No, about $40 for medication. Okay. You have a gym? $30. Good. Subscriptions, I'll also put $40. You have pets. You have a cat. You have pet insurance? You do now because no way you can take care of it if something bad happens. $50. How much for pet food? About $25 for everything. Anything else on a monthly basis that I need to take into account before we know what your minimum budget to survive is? No. Okay. Basically a break-even, $3,510.16. Does he ever miss child support? No. That's good. But you have an extra, call it $89, $84 a month, and that's if we hit it exactly, you know, utilities and all that. So it's probably closer to 80 or 100, something like that. But the reality of your, what was it, 48,000 hours of debt? By 89.89? 533, 534 months to pay off. That's literally 45 years, 44 years. Listen, your career is not a good career. I'm just going to let you know. time to look into other careers getting into other things yes nine to five Monday through Friday I agree with that um but you're even earlier said I'm not getting subsidized CCR child tax credit and helping to pay for child care yes it doesn't matter that's fine but let's get you to a place where you're not subsidized and you are out there being a giver in this world and you're bringing enough money to take care of your debt now that's going to take work that's going to take time certifications that means this debt does not move for a bit and or preferably and what i would allow keeping this car but you change your behavior for two months you follow this strict budget show that you can follow this strictly for two months i will allow you to go through bankruptcy not cheap not stress-free but still at least wipes most of this maybe not the daycare certainly not family debt um and we want to keep the car or maybe not honestly potentially repo uh you know voluntary repossession then get the rest of it wiped from bankruptcy and you get a 10,000 hour car on a shitty interest rate for sure but a 10,000 hour car that we can manage that's a play then you wipe that out you get a fully funded emergency fund and that's our future but you cannot do any of that just like your big 35 loan you did earlier you can't do that until you at least prove you can follow this budget exactly for two months and if you f*** up then no you don't continue you don't go through with bankruptcy you have to start over again that's what I would do but you also need to look at career change because this is not going to be enough for a single mother going forward if you're a dual income household maybe single mother is going to be hard to give her the future you want okay guys the post show is going to be great we're going to bring in her sister and they want to confront her for her sister wants to come in and confront her and depending on her mom the post show is going to be great it's going to be one of the best ones we've ever had but let's get the hammer financial score first uh spending your budget you ever spent zero out of 10 debt well family debt all that stuff but no collections no irs that so one out of 10 no you do have collections i mean you got the lawyer shit okay zero out of 10 emergency fund nothing zero out of 10 retirement's extremely low for 29 one out of 10 real estate nothing zero out of 10 hammer financial score rounded up to 0.5 out of 10 get yours at calebhammer.com now click the join button Join Hammer Elite, the number one and best membership on YouTube for a reason. Three premium shows posted every single day, Monday through Friday. High quality premium shows, including extra 20 minutes of this episode and the financial auto post show. I'll see you there. Anyone who come on and confront your sister about the reliance on your mom. Our mom works really hard. She doesn't make a ton of money, but she loves us unconditionally. Mom works like 100 hours a week. she struggles with her bills and she financially supports you this is something that already happens in the family and yet we're seeing it right here yeah I guess so