Bobby Hates Richie

Whether you're off to the big match, enjoying a trip to the coast to catch up with friends or exploring some incredible history with your family. With up to a third off most rail travel, a rail card can help you save on train journeys all around Great Britain. Find the one for you at railcard.co.uk. Hey, what's up you guys? My special premier this week on Hulu. On Hulu. We're on Hulu September 12th. And check out Andrew. He's going to be at the punchline in San Francisco, one of the best comedy clubs in America. And I go to Brea, the Brea Improv. I'm in Tempe. I've never been to Tempe. Then I'm going to be down at the Horseshoe in Hammond, Indiana. I'm going to be at Hanover, Maryland, Atlantic City at Borgata, then Harrison Valley Center. I'm also adding Vegas and another couple of shows. Go to AndrewSantino.com for those tickets. AndrewSantino.com and go watch the special this Friday on Hulu. I'm waiting for him to say he loves me, you know? And he goes, I'm pissing right now. Hey good girl. You don't want to shoot guns? Just right out back. Yes queen. Yes queen. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm run Weasley. I'm run Weasley. I'm sorry. I don't even like that one. Let's move on. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? My dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. We can be heroes Just for one day. Miss Bowie, good night. Hello, welcome to, wow. What a pleasure to be here. What a pleasure to be here, to be back in the studio. Andrew's been gone for so long. One month. We don't even know what he looked like anymore. I look the same. What? I look the same. Now you're pinkish. Well, I got a sunburn yesterday. Yeah, you're pinkish and your attitude is a little aggro. I'm aggro now? You spit a gum at me. And guess what I did to it? You have any proof that this happened? No, but what did I do? Headbutted it. I headbutted it away. You are a soccer man. Like what George Bush did with the shoe? Right? I locked in at the gum. You're good. And I saw it in slow motion. I headbutted it. Let's see. Yeah, yeah. Here, here. I have a packet here. Ready? Go. Oh, sorry. You gotta put it toward. Gotta get another one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me get one more. Yeah, baseball. Use the baseball. But don't throw it, lob it. This is softer. Okay, go. Really good. Look at that, that. Really good. Did you see that, dude? Wow, did you see that, Jules? Rudy, Jules is back! Yeah. At the Korean spot, when I see nuts in my fit, I think Korean nuts, I can do it, dude. Rudy, what's going on? Welcome back to the show. Hello. Hello. Energy through the roof. Oh my God. Hi. Karatop. Karatop energy. Hasn't washed your car since you gave it to her. I know. Not kidding. We were right next to each other. And I was like, that is as dirty as you left it. As soon as your mom left this morning, I woke up in shivers and in a sweat. Why? Our house is going down. I think. Her mom, anyone listening right now, you want Filipino in your house? Her mom. She cleans everything. Can we put up the website, getafillipin.com? Yeah, you had to get Filipino to do it. The way you fold the socks and the underwear, that future. Where did your mom go? Back to the Philippines? She's gone. Wow. Ice, got her. Well, she was worried about it. I called twice. You called Ice? Yeah, what's for the challenge? Welcome to Ice. To get someone deported, press one. Yeah. Doot. Yeah. Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot. You are 36 in line. Please hold. Doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot. And people hold for hours. They can't wait. Yeah. Fuck Oasis tickets. They'll fucking hold on for five hours. How much of those tickets going for right now, Oasis? What do you think? Let's guess, what the average resale tickets are all sold out. If we want to go to the Rose Bowl, what do you think that costs? For like an average ticket. I'm guessing like 300, 400. For shitty seats. Can I say something controversial? Yeah. May I? Yeah. They have five good songs. You're so out of pocket right now. That's insane. They have five good songs. You think Oasis? Wonderwall. Keep going. Bring up their fucking album. You're telling me they only have five good songs? I think so. That whole album was good. What's that main album? Don't look back on anger, good song. Super Sonic. Wonderwall. Super Sonic, great song. Don't go away. Champagne Super Nova. Slig wretz and alcohol. Never heard of that song. I definitely may be. Sing me Sig wretz. Right now. Boom. Sing me Sig wretz and alcohol right now. Sig wretz and alcohol. Yeah. Fight me in the school, Bob. Yeah, sing me Roll with it. Roll with it. Just roll with it. Just roll with it. How about Diggs? London. Diggs beats Diggs. What are you gonna do? We're gonna roll with it. Yeah, you don't know any of this shit. How about fucking in the bushes? Fucking in the bushes. Oh, you like Morning Glory? Super Sonic, OK. Morning Glory, OK. My point is that five, six. She's electric? Sing me She's Electric. She's electric. In the morning she buzzes with electricity. Actually, the importance of being idle is one of their best songs. Bristol, let me hear it. The importance of being idle is one of their best songs. And he actually said that's his favorite song. Let me bring up something that's wild. Yeah. Because I learned something this week. Those conjoined twin girls had a baby. No. Abby and Brittany. Is that their names? Brittany and Abby. They had a baby. There's no way Brittany and Abby had a baby. They did, dog. Look at it. Conjoined twins Abby and Brittany have seen carrying their baby. So the guy's only married to one of the girls. How does that work? And we had to Google it. They share a vagina. So the other ones has to look away when they're hooking up? The other one doesn't get to name it. She has no say. Is that what it is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What if one of them has come inside me, and everyone's like, God, please don't? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because they might have mixed feelings about it. Now it'd be wild if their baby is conjoined. Oh my god. Conjoined, conjoined. Where do they do three? It's three conjoined, and then they one-upped, right? Whoa. Their parent or moms. Mom and dad, yeah. Wow. Because I learned that there's a pitcher that plays in MLB, and he's what's called a mirror image identical twin. Look this up. This is insane. I thought identical twins. Was it? I thought mirroring is like the same. No, a mirror image identical twin. Yeah, look at that. Taylor and Tyler Rogers are both baseball players. So his left side is his right side. So if you looked at each other, it would be like looking exactly in a mirror. Isn't that fucking weird? I don't get it. Explain it to me. Mirror image, meaning like my right side is your left side. So it's mirror. It's not flip. Yeah, but if I was your left side, people would think that you had a stroke. My mirror? Yeah. Why is this eye squinting? My left side is Korean. Get a stroke. But their mirror image identical twins, which happens when it splits at a certain time, and if it splits a second later, they become conjoined. So they just miss becoming conjoined. Whoa. By a millisecond, I think. Wow. Isn't that crazy? That's crazy. What would you ever date? Would you ever date an identical twin? I feel like I'd be down. Yeah? It's kind of just like a threesome. But like with just one dick. She goes right for it. Wait a minute. What do you mean threesome with one dick? She says she's getting two for one. All right. You mean two conjoined twins. Oh, no, I'm talking about identical. Identical. You were like conjoined. Yeah, yeah. I'd be down to conjoin. Well, they don't have two dicks. No, they have one dick. But four balls, oddly enough. That's fine. Yeah. A lot more to play with, I guess. Now, if they had two dicks, would you sometimes suck the brother's dick or no? Maybe just caress. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you feel bad. Because you have empathy. Yeah, you feel bad. If I was the other brother, I would play. I get a switch. Dude, I thought of you at the airport. A guy had a hand held, and it was going through his glasses. What is that? Well, what are you? I'm not the fucking president of Sony. You're a videographer. What are you talking about? Aren't you Samsung? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, a guy had a pair of glasses. Yeah. Heroke to Tokyo. I'm not Heroke to Tokyo. That's you. That's not you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A guy had a pair of glasses at the airport. He was sitting, waiting for the plane, and he was like this. He had a controller, and he was looking up just with his glasses. Wow. What is that? What console is that? I've never seen that in my entire. Richie kind of knows. Richie, do you know? No, I don't. Well, then get the fuck out of here then. God damn it, Richie. Don't nod your head like you know. Richie's back. Did we not build him a cage? I thought we were going to build him a cage. Richie's back. He's been working out too. Look. Oh, you know how it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There it is. Hey, baby. Oh my god. Oh my god. Richie. Richie, go sit in that chair. Go sit in that chair. You love the Rich. I love Rich, Doug. Yeah, yeah. Jules, you know Richie? I've met Richie. Yeah, yeah. How? In five, yeah, seven. Yeah, yeah. Richie's got his. Let's judge his legs. I didn't know you were that hairy. I wouldn't have assumed he was that hairy. Do you have Hugh Jackman's legs? It's kind of hot. Yeah, yeah. Wait, that's hot legs? You think he's got hot legs? Do you think that Hugh Jackman would have those legs? I'll get that. No, that's more Gerard Butler. That's Jerry Butler. Yeah, that's Jerry Butler. But it's like really nice, manly. It's the upper body you need to work on. I don't have upper bodies, OK? No, no, no, no. Upper body's kind of the same. You have Michael Phelps upper body. I try to hide the legs. Yeah, yeah. Usually I'm like the upper body's the cell. No, no. And you have a school shooter's face. You think the upper body is your best feature? I think it's all kind of the charm. I think my face is sort of the, I think it's a little, I'm a whole package, you know? Right. You're like a package that they threw over the fence. Now, did you go to the Weird Al show? Of course I did. I got my shirt on right here. It was the best thing ever. Was it a good show? My god, it was amazing. He did costume changes like every single time. He had the fat suit for fat. He had the dirty, the Amish Paradise beard. It was, it was everything I wanted him to wear. And he plays all the hits. He doesn't play new songs. No, I mean a couple new, but like all the hits, everything you wanted to hear, everything was in there. It was crazy. Wow. How many people? A lot. What was the difference? It was at Kea Forum. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. It felt like not sold out, but like pretty sold out. Might have been sold out. A lot of people in the forum. Dude, he's the man. Yeah, yeah, there he was. He's the man. God, Weird Al is the man. We love you, Weird Al. We love Weird Al. Now, you think Weird Al is better than Oasis. Yeah. More hits. He does have more hits. Yeah. The Yoda song. I mean, just eat it. Yeah, just eat it. Gangsters, Amish Paradise. I met him before. He's super nice. White and nerdy, polka face. I mean, I can, these are all bangers. My baloney, my balona. So good. Yeah. It's amazing. You know, this is one of those guys he will last forever and ever and ever. Forever. Right? Because it's clean. It's fun. You know who he is? No. OK. I don't know Weird Al. No. No. You never heard of Weird Al, Yankevich. Wow. Well, he is a guy who does parody songs. Yeah. He does popular songs. He started in like the late 90s. And he would do popular songs, then remake them. Like, there's a song called Beat It by Michael Jackson. Just beat it. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. And he wrote a song called Just Eat It, Eat It, Eat It, Dun, dun, dun, eat it, eat it. Yeah. And he got sued no less than 1,000 times, right, over the years? No, he would always get the artist's permission. Oh, he did? I thought he got sued for a couple of times by people. I'm pretty sure, like, for, I might have been Amish Paradise. I'm pretty sure he's pissed at him. Weird Al settled a lawsuit, sown music for undisclosed amount in 2013, ending a 5 million other claim that the record label had unpaid, underpaid him royalties. Oh, that's for him. For him. But Amish Paradise looked that up. Yeah, I was gonna say, I think he was not a fan. Yeah, Coolio hated it. Yeah, I think. There's, like, parody loopholes or something like that. There always. You can parody anything. That's true. The way around it. It is true. There's loopholes to everything. The controversy, I almost heard a misunderstanding between Coolio and Weird Al regarding permission to parody his gangsta's paradise. Coolio initially felt disrespected and publicly stated he never gave permission. Yankevic believed he had received approval through the record label dispute, ultimately cooled down. Coolio later admitted his reaction was wrong, because it only probably sold more albums for him. That's the irony. I bet you that just resells more albums for the original. Oh, totally. I only knew Amish Paradise for years. You never knew Gangsta's Paradise? I didn't know Gangsta's Paradise for a while. Weird Al was like my introduction to half of these songs. So disrespectful to Coolio. Insanely disrespectful. Wow. It's an honor to Weird Al, though. Well, you're a Weird Alian. I am. You're a Weird Alian. What does Dizzy call his fans, something? Weirdos? I'll take Weirdos. It's kind of a cool one. I kind of like that. Weirdos? If he's not doing that, he should. Yeah, well, he jumps on every other bandwagon thing. I'm surprised. What is it? The ironic thing about Gangsta's Paradise, it's kind of a parody of Past Time Paradise by Stevie Wonder. So he stole it, too. Well, every rap song has samples from other things, right? This one's pretty heavily sampled, including the title. So what? Does Stevie Wonder have beef with Coolio? He just might. Wow. Didn't see that coming. Nerd talk! So that's nerd fuck ass. It's cool talk. What is going on here? Did we hear Grandma's basement? Nerd talk! Welcome back to NPR. Today, we're going to be exploring the past of albums and where they came from. Today, my guest is Richie. Richie, hi. Hi, Richie. Hi, happy to be here. Hey, Richie. You're too loud for NPR. You're going to be way too loud. I'm really happy to be here. Yeah. Yeah, very good. Very good. My name is Devon M. Lewis. And I have my podcast partner, my radio partner. And I'm Cassie Schoenfield. Yeah. Cassie, nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. And I have a question for you. If you had a time machine, what era would you time back to? It's a fun question that we always ask all of us. We always are. We say that to all of us. And we also are a third Mike here. Sheerah, Oklahoma. Sheerah, Oklahoma. And she's not from Oklahoma. That's the gag. That's the gag. The gag. Yeah, the gag. She's from Tennessee. She's from Tennessee. Yeah, anyone. Oklahoma. Anyway, what era? What era? The 1980s, of course. I feel like all the movies came out then. Oh, wow. All the movies. All the movies. Like what movies? Let me guess. You love Gremlins. Two of them. Yeah, weird science. Is that your game? Science is great. Yeah, it's amazing. Ghostbusters, the original. What was that? What was Ghostbusters 1? Yeah, Ghostbusters. Full Metal Jacket. The late 70s. Full Metal Jackets, amazing. Ghostbusters 84, that's right. In 80s. You know, one time I didn't masturbate for like three weeks straight. And when I did ejaculate. It was the secret of the ooze. That marshmallow monster. It came out of my penis. It was very interesting. Yes, it's K-Fuff marshmallow man. It came out of my penis. That was a big thing in the 80s. I feel like ooze movies. Do you guys know that? Like a lot of movies have ooze in them. There was a lot of ooze movies back then. Ghostbusters, there's ooze all about ooze. Yeah, yeah. Are you an ooze fan? Just in general? I wouldn't say I'm an ooze fan. I'm more fascinated. You know, I bet you money put a lot of gravy on your biscuits. I like to put some gravy on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you only don't ask what they have like a little filling in there, right? Boston Cream is the best. Yeah, yeah. You know, when you put the whole, where they put the creaming, you probably squeeze the doughnut. So the cream squirts out. A little bit. Right, and you squirt it in your mouth. Do you not? Yeah, you still look like that happy guy. He's not wrong. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Blob. Great films. It's a lot of ooze movies. Well, Gack was big from Nickelodeon. We were coming off the era of Gack and Slopp and Flo. It was a popular thing to put in pop culture. You know what I would do if I had a time machine. And we've talked about this, right? Yeah. Sharad, is that your name? What? Huh? Your name? Sure. What's my name? Yeah. What's my name? I've been on the show for 30 years. I know. And you don't know me? Yeah, yeah. What's my name? What's my name? Yeah, anyway. Anyway. We've talked about this. Well, what I would do is I would, I would get the recipes for OxyContin, all these opiate drugs, go back to the 1800s New York and have a little stand, you know what I mean? And I would sell these pills. I would make a fortune, I think. Smart. Yeah, what would you do in a time machine? Yeah, what would you do in a time machine? I had an idea once. It's pretty off beat, but I would go get an Almanac, a sports Almanac, and go back in time. Oh, I see what, let me guess. May I guess? Yeah. Right? You would bet on games you would already know. You'd be able to. Yeah. That's interesting. That's a very good thing. You know what I would also do is I would find Steve Jobs early when he was living in the garage developing stuff. And I would give him a million dollars and go, let's just get anything you do, I'll get 10% of your company. 10%? Yeah, yeah. Smart. And the Chinese guy from the YouTube? Is that the same guy as Sony? No, it's not the same guy. Yeah. What would you do, Oklahoma, Miss Oklahoma? Miss Oklahoma. I would try to ride the plane from 2001, 9-11. My God. And to save. And would just turn around. Oh, you would turn around. Do you have a pilot's license? Yeah. Can you imagine Rudy gets on one of the flights from 9-11. She just stands up and goes, turn around. Nothing happens. Nothing happens. Turn around. Turn around. That's it. You wouldn't do anything? You would just try to make him turn around. You have one shot. That's what you do? Go get on the plane? Yeah, maybe convince like maybe like a blow job or something. Yeah, that's it. That's it. He's like, well, what should we do? Now we're going to get 35 versions when we get up. Yeah. There isn't one single Chinese guy who owns YouTube. It's subsidiary Google. No, who is that Asian guy? I would go to that Asian guy. I would go to Steve Chen and go, hey, I'll give you some money. Just give me 10% of your company. And back then, they probably do it. Of course. What is Steve Chen doing now? See, this is the kind of thing. These guys are quiet. Taiwanese Americans are quiet in there. Let me guess. Let me guess. He's riddled with white pussy. Oh my God. Yeah, just pouring it down. Chen dog. Is he married? Oh yeah, he's got a spouse. He's married. He's happily married with two kids. Because you know that Enron? You remember Enron? Love Enron. Big Enron family. Really? Yeah, huge. So I mean, all of them went to prison, but there was one Asian dude with an accent. Didn't go. No, he got out early, a year earlier, before the investigation started. And him and a stripper, you know what I mean? He met a white girl, a stripper, this guy. Lu Long Pi. He got a white stripper from like Strip Club. Right? Goes, be my wife, right? They took all this money and they bought all this property in like, I think Oklahoma or somewhere like that. Genius. Yeah, he was a genius. And they never got him. Did he still stay with? Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's Lu Long right now. Yeah. He's still with the stripper, dude. $270 million after being forced to sell his shares to satisfy his divorce settlement. Two months before, this guy's genius. He's a genius, dude. Lu Long Pong. That's a great documentary. That's Lu Pi. Yeah, that's Lu Pi, dude. No, that's him. That's him. Pi was a senior executive at Enron. Enron, look at him. He got out, he sensed it. He knew. You know, what we doing here, he is very, very wrong. Yeah, I mean, I'm going to go to Strip Club, right? I know this white girl. But it's very smart to go to a Strip Club and grab her. I'm calling my cousin. I'm him. Yeah. How are all rang? How are all? I got so many wrong things going around in Enron. What are you going to do about it? What do you think I should do? I don't know. You want to go to Titi Boffe or Rancho? Yeah. Imagine they just went there for lunch. Yeah, yeah. That struck the idea. Yeah. That's like social network. Something came from nothing. Yeah. This guy goes to a Strip Club and gets to go, that's genius. Yeah. Because by the way, she obviously needs help getting out of her situation. He needs help. It's perfect. Pretty in pink. Pretty in pink? It's pretty in pink. It is pretty in pink. Pretty in, yeah. That's kind of the same story. But he's trying to save them. Don't you want, do you have a savior kind of a thing or no? Save your mentality? Yeah. I think we want to help people a lot. Yeah. I don't think we can save most. Yeah. Like we want to help Richie. We want to try to get Richie laid. Yeah, yeah. Richie, do you? We have some. We got some girls. We have some girls. You want to do that now? Yeah, let me see. Let's see if you can put on your cans or so you can hear some. I'm excited. This girl says, Serena says, I'm chill. I want to say this before. I know you're, I'm sorry. Carlos said beforehand that I'm going to be mad because these are some of the girls, these girls I wouldn't be able to get. That's not true. Yeah. Yeah. So let's just see if you're right, Carlos. Draft King Sportsbook. Hey. NFL season is rolling, baby. Your season, your shot. The NFL season is rolling. And every touchdown can bring you closer to a payout with Draft King Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL. NFL, I'm so excited is here. I'm very excited to see what happens with the Chicago Bears. But from the first touchdown to TD props, the thrill of live and game betting. Every snap is loaded with opportunity. I'm telling you, I think Draft King Sportsbook might be the best way to bet. And this is good for new customers. Just bet $5, get $200 in bonus bets instantly. Plus go over $200 off NFL Sunday ticket from YouTube and YouTube TV, which I love. So hey, just like on week one, Philly is plus one against Dallas. Who knows how that's going to go? I do. Like Dallas and Philadelphia. I think it's going to be a tiebreaker. You think it's going to go down to the wire? Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, very good. And there's going to be an off-size interference. There's going to be an off-size interference. So Chicago Bears are plus one over Minnesota. It sounds good because it's in Chicago. I have my opinion, but yeah. And I like that. It's in Chicago, my hometown, and Soldier Field. Can the Minnesota Vipe Queens handle that? We'll see. Download the Draft King Sportsbook app and use the code BADFRIENDS. That's code BADFRIENDS to get $200 in bonus bets instantly when you place your first $5 bet. Plus over $200 off NFL Sunday ticket from YouTube and YouTube TV in partnership with Draft King. The crown is yours. Gambling problem called 1-800-GAMLAR. New York call 877-8. Ope NY or Text Ope NY. 467-369 in Connecticut. Help us available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly in behalf of Boodhill Casino and Resort in Kansas. 21 plus age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Fees may apply in Illinois, Void, and Ontario. Bonus bets expire seven days after issue and C-Sports work on DraftKings.com slash promos. NFL Sunday ticket offer for new subscribers only. And auto renews until canceled. Digital games and commercial use excluded. Restricted to apply additional NFL Sunday ticket terms at youtube.com slash NFL Sunday ticket slash terms limited time offer. Kachava. Let me say something. Because I'm on some injections. You're an injector. And I get hunger pain sometimes. You do. And what I do is I do a little bit of kachava here. I have chocolate. I have chai. I have matcha. Strawberry. I have vanilla. And now I've never had this before. We have sweet, creamy, surprising stacked strawberry. That's what it says. That looks really good. You know what I guarantee you? It's going to be sweet and creamy. And surprisingly stacked. Yeah, yeah. And I'm going to say this. It satisfies your hunger. You know you're getting the right nutrients, you know what I mean, and minerals and whatnot. You know what I mean? And it is delicious. It's delicious. Yeah. Yeah. With the best part about kachava, you can add it with frozen fruit. You can add it to your coffee, growing peanut butter. You can mix it with a bunch of different kind of stuff. 25 plus superfoods, Andrew. So good. Nutrients and plant-based ingredients. 25 grams of 100% plant-based protein, plus 6 grams of fiber, 6 indulgent flavors. Like Bob said, chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut, asai, and their newest flavor, strawberry. Contains nutrients to support your strength, energy, digestion, metabolism, cognition, and immunity. It is so good. Mixes into a smooth and creamy shake. You've got to get kachava. You've never tasted strawberry like this. Go to kachava.com and use code BADFRIENDS for 15% of your next order. That's kachava, K-A-C-H-A-V-A.com. Code BADFRIENDS for 15% off. Rocket money. You know what? You saved me so much money with Rocket Money. Thank you for that. Because I have so many subscriptions on my phone. Too many. Yeah, yeah. With meditation apps, they charge me every year. I don't use it anymore. I don't know anything. I know that. I get scared. Everyone at home has apps they don't know that they're paying for. And Rocket Money is a personal finance app. It helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money shows you all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you forgot about. If you see a subscription you no longer want, Rocket Money will help you cancel it. Well, the best part is they give you this dashboard. It lays out your total financial picture. We went through it with Bobby, and we saw all the stuff he was paying for. Disaster. It was a disaster. And it was actually kind of sad. It was funny, but sad. But the best part is Rocket Money is there. They're even going to try to negotiate to lower your bills for you. The app automatically scans those bills, find the opportunities to save, and they'll do the talking. You don't got to worry about it. Rocket Money's five million members have saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all the app's premium features. You got to cancel your unwanted subscriptions or reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to rocketmoney.com. Slash bad friends today. That's rocketmoney.com. Slash bad friends. Rocketmoney.com. Slash bad friends. This girl said she'd drive tonight for you. This is Serena Nicole Mann. I mean, I'm pretty flattered. She'd drive right down, pick me up. I don't have to call the Uber or nothing. I mean. Is this her? That's her. Wow, cute. Beauty pie. What do you think, Rich? I'm pretty flattered. I like her. This is Up Your Alley? Up Your Alley. How old is her? She's Serena. She doesn't say. I don't know. But hold on. What does she do for a living? I got to know the deal. Yeah, there's not enough information on this one I feel like. Just based on looks, so you would do it. But based off looks, yeah. But based off of, I don't know her. Slow Investigating tells you she lives in Vegas. And I'll tell you why. Why? Why do you think, how did I guess that? OK, go go to all the photos. I want to see. I want to be investigator. The sun. It's extra sunny there. It's extra sunny. No, why? Why based on that? Well, go back to the email. Oh, on the email. 702. 702 is the area code for Las Vegas. Whoa. And I put this together knowing. Because when she said, when she said I'll drive to Cali tonight, I thought it's got to be a close enough place. It's got to be Nevada. 702 is Vegas. Bro, what are you doing in this job, dude? There's crimes that need to be solved, bro. I don't do that anymore. I told you. I don't do that no more. What are you talking, jabbering with that? You're the FBI column. Yeah, yeah. Come on, man. We got some murders. I can't do that no more. I told you. Not after my brother. I'm sorry for saying best friend. He is. I love him. Uh-oh. A date with Richie. This is a mil from Cincinnati. Oh, mil for that. Let me see the photo. Well, zoom in first. Oh, yeah. Wait, what's your? Oh, my god. Oh, my god. Wait, I'm selling her more. Pass the last one. This one's off. Dude, dude. This one's off. Richie. Richie. Richie. What about this one? Bad friends, I hear you're looking for someone to take Richie to the Weird Alconcer. I think I'm your girl. I'm a real life milf with a pretty awesome personality, sense of humor, and a soft spot for nerdy guys. Happen to be an escort. I just so happen to be an escort, which means I know how to make the date feel like the most fun guy in the room. And I have the wardrobe to prove it. Picture Richie walking in with me on his arm. He gets to look like the king of nerds. I come to party with said king. And everyone wins. I keep it playful, classy, totally unforgettable. Just naughty enough to make a story. He'll never stop telling. Candy. We're flying her out. Let's do this. We're going to fly her out. Telling me. We're going to fly her out. She's got to be careful with that kind of shoes on that kind of slippery. Yeah. I mean, that's slippery out there by the water. The tsunami comes. Yeah, be careful, Candy. So if Candy's an escort and would love to take you out, I'm interested in sending you out. Go on to the next bathroom photo. First thing I noticed here has one. Oh my god. She has one of those chalk writing bathroom. You can write on the wall there. But that's a hotel. How do I know that's a hotel? The tile's above the tub. It's a hotel. And also the pre-established soap dispensers. Give me the best investigator. Look at the soap dispensers. This is a hotel. So this is a Holiday Inn. How do you know that's Jimmy? Because she was murdered. She was murdered at a Holiday Inn. Two hours after this photo was taken. Explain to me, Jimmy. Jimmy, how do you know this is a Holiday Inn? Because I've been to a lot of Holiday Inn. Oh, I see. What else, Jimmy? How did the intruder get coming into the bathroom there? She was murdered in the bathroom. The intruder knocked, knocked, knocked and said, how's he paying? She said, go away. They continued to knock. You probably went through the door, right, Jimmy? Front door. Yeah, yeah. Well, there's only one door there in the bathroom. Oh, with her, you could use the back door. Oh, you can't. Oh, I see. You made it very clear. I see, Jimmy. Very clear. What else? All right, anyway. By the way, Richie, let's get a poll of this. Is this, would you go out with this lady? Oh, 100%. There's another young lady. Let's see what she said. Yeah, friends. Push pause, push pause. All right. Already right now. What? High teeth functionality. High teeth functionality. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And do you know what that means? No. It means that she has great teeth. Nice teeth. It's just a scientific way of saying it, right? You never heard that? Beautiful eyes, right? Well. Nails, right? Healthy. They're natural. Natural and healthy. That's right. No dirt, nice lips, no dirt between the nails. Can I say something about the eyes? Not a ton of makeup. It looks natural and nice. It's natural, yeah. Not cake face. All right, let's go. I'm just admitting my video to share why potentially Richie may be interested in taking me to Weird Out. I just pulled up to my waitressing job. So I am covering up the restaurant's logo. Pause, go ahead. You go. We have to guess. The waitress? We have to guess the place that she works at. She's the waitress. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, Tarantino. Hey, Jimmy. Yeah. This lady, we phoned her dead body. Yeah, where does she waitress? Because we can't figure that out. I don't know. I don't know. The color, the maroon of that shirt. It's a dead giveaway. It seems like a chain. It's Abbey's. She's got the meats. She's got the meats. OK. Thank you, Jimmy. What is it? I wonder where she waits. It's either, you know, my instinct was either, because it is maroon. It's a high end. It's a, it's a, hey, Jimmy. Stop. Don't Google it yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I will say, it can't be high end. High end restaurants don't make you wear a polo. Look how nice though that. It's not like a. They don't make you wear polos at high end. Not high end, a chain, a high end chain. Correct. Chili. Yeah. That's not chili. It's not chili. I know their outfit. It's black. Chili's is all black. Yeah, yeah. If idiot. Yeah. Applebee's might be, Applebee's actually might be. You know what I want to say? Islands. No, islands is the Hawaiian shirts. Oh, I didn't know. Yeah, Hawaiian shirt. Red Robin is a no, because that's the old one that I'm trying to think of. Is that even around anymore? Yeah. It could also be a, at a golf place, like at a. Oh, that's right. She could work at the country. Country club. Yeah. That's also very good. Yeah. Yeah. Or. Timely. Cracker barrel. I don't know. Cracker barrel. No, I don't know. But they wear the white t because at last I wanted they were the white t-shirts with. Well, they went through a big DEI change apparently. So now everything is different. I refuse to go in the changed version of that. Yeah, we won't go back. If I look and there's that old white cracker man with the barrel. Yeah, yeah, I am out. No, I'm in. That's the old way. We were. Yeah, yeah, if that's on there, I go in. Yeah. If it's off, I do not go in. We don't go in. I do not go in. You heard it here, cracker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, we took you to cracker barrel for the first time on the road. That was amazing. And remember how much shit you bought from the store? Right? It was, I was, I couldn't believe what they had there. Shocking. Shocking. They had everything. Oh, you're going to say this? You turned me on to some things there. What did I do? The fucking licorice. Oh, yeah. Wallabies. Yeah, Wiley Wallabies. I had never heard of wallabies. That's the fucking place. I was there for hours. I had a shopping bag, everything. You did. So cute. He bought about $150 worth of things. Come on. And you pointed at wallabies and you go, man, back in my day, or something like that. What do you mean? I eat them today. I had one today when I left the house. I bought them at the airport again. I get every flavor. They're so good. They're so good. Green apple, the Wiley Wallabies. You know wallabies? Licorice? Are you a licorice fan? These suckers. These are so fucking good. What's the one below it? Is that Star Anise? Black licorice. Are you a black licorice guy? I don't like black licorice. I don't think almost anybody likes black licorice. Yeah, I don't know why they keep making them. But I don't know. You don't like black licorice? No, definitely not. Have you had black licorice? No. Oh, the flavor is weird. It's it's it's. What does it taste like? Tastes like Nyquil. It does taste like shitty Nyquil. Yeah, shitty Nyquil. No, but I kind of like Nyquil sometimes. Yeah, because you know you're going to get a little like. A little buzz. Buzz buzz not. Have you had the, have you had the, the date, not date what's the other one? The, the Zquil. Brother, I can chug this stuff. Really? It's bad, dude. It's so good. I Zquil is a non habit forming Nyquil. And it's if you're not sick, if you just need to pass out. Yeah. Bro, it's fucking awesome. Let me see. I should not be promoting. You get horny after that? I get so horny on Nyquil. So fucking horny. Zquil, I mean. Anyquil. Yeah, anyquil. Anyquil. I get horny, right? I get horny on the Quil. Yeah, yeah. Dude, I do get horny on the Quil. Because my therapist and I have a deal, you know, like unisom. I can't take unisom anymore. Do you know why? You get too horny? I get so horny, I have to masturbate to whole porn. And then you. It's a, it's a red flag for me. Yeah, you can't do that. If you take three or four, like extra ones, you get extremely horny. But see, this says, Nyquil has found no ties. Bored them from being sick, the altered mental state from medication, the potential orgasm to temporarily relieve pain, my play role in the perception of increased horniness, but the dizziness and drowning. None of this stuff they say attributes, but I think you're right. Every time I do take drugs like this, also in the morning, I'm so much more morning hard, like morning horny. I get horny hard. Horny hard. Yeah, yeah. Horny hard. Yeah. Horny hard. Yeah. I'm getting a lot of morning wood lately. I just had it today. And I can't get it. And then you have to pee and it's still up. Yeah, you piss all over the place. Right, so you have to push it down, right? I hate that. You have to do some sort of like arch to it. Well, I lean against the wall. I put my hands against the wall. Yeah. Down to the toilet. I just stick my fucking dick in there. And you're like that. That's why I want to urinal at the house. Eric Andre has a urinal at his house and I was always jealous of that. A stand-up urinal? Yeah, he's got a urinal and he's got a toilet in his bathroom. He built like a little nook where they used to be. Wow. And he put a urinal there. I was like, why doesn't that come in a house? I don't know. I don't understand. Yeah. Because then you're never going to pee in the toilet where women pee in. Just your only poop in there. Yeah. I wanted a urinal. My wife said no. I was like, why not? Well, you have several bathrooms. You have like six bathrooms in that mansion that you live in. So maybe one of the fucking. Wait, we have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 9, 10, 11, 12, 13. Anyway. And then the maid's quarters, 21. I don't know why we never. I wanted to put one in testosterone levels increased during REM sleep. So maybe you're getting such good sleep. Your testosterone, your T goes up, which gives you harder erections. This is morning wood. Yeah. Oh, that's what it is. You get morning wood still rich dog. Oh, every morning. How old are you? 24. That'll go away. Yeah, yeah. That'll go away. It slides. No. I as an older adult, I'm getting them more. Yeah, but you don't always get them like him every day. But no, I do. And I'll tell you why. You do now. No more masturbation. Wow. Why? Because it's unhealthy for me. Sure. Every relationship I've ever had, that was the downfall of every relationship. You jerking off. Yeah, because I would, it gets to a point where it's like, you know, you get kind of bored, you know. Having sex with them? With the same, right? And so in my, and then I preferred doing that over that. And it destroyed every, and it's, it interferes with intimacy, intimacy. It can. Yeah, yeah. It can. And so for me, it's like, once I weeded all that out, it's like natural sex life. You could have, you have a natural good sex? Yeah, natural. Good. El natural. All right, let's get back to this girl. Let's go back to that. Let's get, let's get rich at date. Sorry. This poor girl. Sorry. So, I mean, I like to think, you know, I genuinely buy into any kind of music. I grew up on 70s Classic Rock. I love disco. Pause. I'm not. I do feel bad that all these people are trying to go to a Weird El concert. It already happened. It already happened. Yeah. But we can set up another date. Yeah, we can take them to some weird house. OK. She has a kind of a Tony Coletti vibe too. I love Tony Coletti. Yeah, she's great. Yeah. It's gorgeous. I'm not going to lie. I don't know Weird El. Ah. Pause. I like her. I like her too. Better. Better. It's better. You can turn her on to something she's never seen before. Oh, wait. Yeah, you're right. You can educate her. Educate her, buddy. Yeah. Oh, I like this. He's not country. Oh, he's not country. If not, then yeah, I promise you, I vibe to any other genre of music. You know, if it's a good beautiful setting, good drinks, great conversation, good vibes, I'm down to vibe to anything truly. I have been trying to meet new people. It has been a focus point for me this year. So I've been kind of successful. Can you push Possible? I like her. She's nice. There's something that's bothering me. What is it? Hey, Jimmy, guess what it is? I don't know something about the necklace. Zoom in on the necklace. What is that? Is that a? Saturn. Is that a pentagram? What is that? It's close. It's a planet. It's close. My guess from far away, it's religious. Her hand has been stuck in that position the whole fucking time. She's covering up for the shoot. I don't want to show you what she works. What's wrong with that? Go back to the girl. Let's see. Does she live in LA? Let's find out. Excuse me if I let work in and the way and college and all that, whatever, yada, yada. Also, I really admire Richie's willingness to get down and dirty. I like a man who can get his hands dirty. Love that he was willing to clean up Bobby's pet shit. I don't like it. I've met Rich before and I think the concert tickets were a great gesture. And if he's just looking for a nice girl, go have some time, a good time, you know, go listen to some good music, get to know each other. You know, this could be a start of a beautiful friendship, something more, maybe nothing. I don't know. Hold on. He just wants, you know. They are wearing the same color shirt. Look at this. Yeah. And now I tested it. I heard an East Coast twang there. So she is not from here. But I'm from the East Coast. Well, you live here, fuck it. I do, yeah. What does she say at the end? That's a nice night enjoying. Sorry, I have bangs and I don't know how to style them. I just got them cut last week. Anyway, listen, hit me up if you're interested in Richie. Otherwise, I hope you have a great time at the concert. And PS, I don't know if you could tell for my accent. I am from New York, unfortunately. Yeah, long island. I'm sorry if that ruins things. But if you can't find any girlies in LA, feel free to leave a message about me. Otherwise, enjoy. She lives in, she's from Long Island. She's too far away. No, she said if you can't find anyone in LA. No, yeah, she lives too far away. You're fired too far away. Is that it? There's got to be one more. There is if you are. No, I understand why you couldn't get out of those escape rooms. If you go to LA, you say, she's from LA. He's on it today. Dude, he's on one today. I like when he gets all. Push pause. Who's this? Can we address this? What the hell? All right, it's Tex Cobb here. He likes fucking with you. I know. All right, who's this? Tex Cobb, let's hear him. I can fuck with you too. But I'm not gonna. Go ahead. I have some fucking bullets in my gun. God, he's been away from us for so long. He's so happy to see us. He's fogging up the shades again. Miss you, dude. Whoa. Oh my, this is where I go crazy. This is where I go crazy. Zoom in. I am willing to make Richie's dreams come true to be his date and I haven't done any charity in a minute and I like weird looking boys. This, white boys, this is me. Zoom in. Whoa. Whoa. I'm sold, drop all the others. Wow. Really? Yeah, that checks in. Oh my God. We found her. She's so pretty. Oh, we found her. Look at you, look at, hey. Do I test a little jealousy out of you? Did I smell a little jealousy? Actually no and I'll tell you why off screen. Had it already or something? Already tasting it? Whoa. All right. I mean, Richie, if I did hook up with a girl like long ago, would you hook up with her or no? I mean, yeah, but it would be after, well then we'd have to talk about it. No, I don't, you don't even need to talk about it. Well, because we're like friends. No, no, no, we're not friends. You're my employee. I'm your employee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't never get my number. Yeah, but that's like dating my bosses. It doesn't matter. Just go ahead. OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna give you a ticket. Sadie Sopler, a thousand oaks. She's a thousand oaks. She's five, 10. She's a tall girl. OK. And this is me. I'm taller. This is me by the way. Let's see what she looks like. Oh my God. What? Richie. Richie. That's the one. We got some good submissions. Yeah, Richie. I didn't realize all those things. That's the one, Richie. She also sent a video. Oh, let's see the video. Hi, Richie. My name is Sadie. I live in Thousand Oaks. I'm local-ish, OK? And I was going to email Carlos for your number, regardless. And then I heard that you need a date to Weird Al. Oh, it does. That I know the deep cuts. I have been a Weird Al fan forever. She's the best. Let me think of some. Weasel stomping day, virus alert, like I'm talking about deep cuts, not just Amish paradise, OK? My birthday is August 29. And I want to go to Weird Al with you to celebrate my birthday. Oh, man. So I'm sorry we just missed it, but she was the one. I would have called. We should have done this episode the other day. Why didn't we film this two days ago? He's freaking out. Oh, my God. I could have gone with her. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. How the fuck is she like you and not me? I could have gone with her. I don't take her anywhere. I'll take her to police. No, J.A. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take her to police. She was asking for me. Yeah, Moscow every night, every meal. No. You can't provide shit. I could provide nothing. I could provide. I'm provideable. You're not provideable. You've got nothing. I have a lot. You smell. I give up. I don't smell. I smell, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And your breath smells good. And you film over your teeth. That's outrageous. I can't fucking believe it. Dude, I love how jealous this is going to make him. Awesome. I will not allow you to go on with her. Carlos. It's too bad she already emailed. Carlos, get her number for Richie for sure. We need to make this happen. She included it in the email. It's outrageous. It's unfathomable to me. Oh my God. Oh my God. It just got better. Go ahead, go ahead, Richie. Oh, it just got better. But you will no longer be working here. Do not go out with her. Now go ahead. Let me see. I have cars. So I can get to you. Oh my God. She's got the whole package. She drives. Oh my God. Yeah, they're allowed to drive now. I can't believe this. Jesus. How was this? Oh my God. She's so bright. She's so bright. She's so bright. She's so bright. She's so bright. She's so bright. How was this? Oh my God. She's so bright. Get her out of here. You can't bring her on the studio. Oh my God. Get her out of here. Oh my God. She's so hot. That was the grand finale. Okay, that's the grand finale. That's a good one. Well, how old is this girl? How old is this girl? She didn't say, I don't think. Yeah. But she said she knew deep cuts of weird al. So obviously she's not. She's got to be in her 30s, I would imagine, right? My tabaleti. No, no, I say that. No, she's probably 27. She's 24. She's too young. 24 to 26. Yeah. Around that age. She's so hot. Go ahead, Richie. Oh my God, she's perfect. Yeah. You like her though? Yeah. You're excited? I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm going to get tickets to another concert now. When's the last time you went out on like a proper date with a girl? A proper, proper date? It's been a while. What are we talking? Like a proper, proper, proper date? Like how proper? Richie, a fucking date with a girl. Just a date. It's been a couple of months. It's been a couple of months. Couple of months, okay. Couple of months or couple of years. Depends on how proper we're talking. Shopify. You know you like to hear that sound. We use Shopify here. We love Shopify. We love it. And it's fantastic. Shopify is the way to make your store whatever you are selling so simple. It's the point of sale system. Is a unified command center for you and your retail business that brings together in-store and online operations up to across a thousand locations. Imagine being able to guarantee that shopping is always convenient. Unless IELTS shipped to customer, buy online pickup in store. All made simpler so customers can shop how they want and staff have the tools to close the sale every time. And let's face it, acquiring new customers is expensive. It's very hard for people that don't know. It's hard. But with Shopify POS, you can keep shoppers coming back with personalized experiences and first-party data that give marketing teams a competitive edge. Exactly. We love competitive ads. We really do. And by the way, it's proven. These results are proven over and over again. 22% better total cost of ownership and benefits equivalent to an 8.9% uplift on sales on average relative to the market surveyed. So if you're looking to grow that business, you're looking to scale up, retain customers and get new ones, you must use Shopify. Get all the big stuff for your small business right with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period and start selling at Shopify.com slash Bad Friends. Go to Shopify.com slash Bad Friends. Shopify.com slash Bad Friends. Zock.com. Ow, ow, ow. I'm hurt too. We're both hurt. What do we do? I don't know. Yeah, you know what I hurt? What? I bet you, let's sit together. Zock. Oh, wow. You know what it is? It's a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. It's so easy. When I moved to the neighborhood, I got to tell you I was annoyed. I couldn't go back to the old doctor. It was too much of a drive and I was like, where do I got to go? What do I got to do? And you said, just get on Zock. You dummy. And I did. And the best part is you can filter based on your preferences. What kind of doctor you need, where they're located. Do they take your insurance and you can find an instantly book a visit right away within 24 to 72 hours? You can even get same day appointments. Wow. Once you find the right doctor, Andrew, you can see their actual appointment opening. You see the schedule. Choose a time slot that works for you. That's right. And click to instantly book a visit, like you said. Yeah, you can do it right there. And they got more than 100,000 doctors across every single specialty. Oh my, skin? Skin. Ankles. Ankles. Yeah. And toes. They got toes on there, baby. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zock.com.com. slash bad friends to find an instantly book atop rated doctor today. That's Zoc. D O C.com. slash bad friends. Zock.com. slash bad friends. 500 orders a month was manageable. 5,000 is madness. Embrace intelligent order fulfillment with ShipStation. The only platform combining order management, warehouse workflows, inventory, returns and analytics in one place. What used to take five separate tools, ShipStation does in one. Go to ShipStation.com and use code START to try ShipStation free for 60 days. I do want to play catch up with, with Juliana and see what's going on with the Rudy Jules in your world. What has been up in your world? Are you, what's going on with you and your dating life? Single? Zero. Zero? You're over it now. Yeah. No. You're done. I'm good. But Tito Bobby's been, we've been doing movie marathons. Yep. And he's just been showing me all the classic movies. So we went, um, good fellas. So I'm going to throw some movies out. Yeah. And one through 10 you tell me. Okay. Good fellas. 10. 10 to me. 10. 10. What'd you get? I'll do eight. Okay. I respect an eight. Nine. Nine. Yeah. You like taxidermy over good fellas. I like that. It's so dark. It is. Yeah. Yeah. It's red. No country for old men. 10. Wow. That's my top one. That's easy. 10. Easy 10. It's so good. Yeah. Raising Arizona. 10. You like raising Arizona? I love you. I love you. You're so nice. You're so, you're, you're, you're a filmer. You're hitting homeruns right now. Right. But here's, I know what that's the answer to this. What the fuck are you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? The guy was just so annoying to me. Yeah. I couldn't watch it because he was just so stupid. Are you talking about William H. Macy? Yeah. Who's the main guy? He's fucking brilliant. He's brilliant. Yeah. I couldn't, I couldn't. He does such a good job in that movie. That's crazy that you didn't like that. He is annoying in it though. But that's the fucking point of the character. Yeah. The desperation. Yes. He's supposed to be a fucking like a, a, a ripe loser. Yeah. Yeah. It's perfect. You cannot. Yeah. Oh, it's so good. I, I like the one with Brad Pitt. That one's better. Burn after reading. Oh, so good. So good. Burn after reading is good. So good. Brad Pitt is so funny in that movie. Yeah, dude. He's, he's the best. It's good, but it's not in that level of Fargo. I don't think it is. No, it's not a Fargo movie, but Fargo. It's pretty good though. Yeah. But Fargo is like a perfect movie. Yeah. It's such a good movie. They made, they made it a TV show. That's how you know a movie is really a banger when they're like, we got to do this again. Yeah. We're gonna do this again somewhere else. Yeah. Because of Fargo though, your reaction to it, I didn't do the Big Lebowski. Oh, it's so good. What do you mean? You did the Lebowski. Oh my God. Yeah. It's another Cohen brother. She's gonna hate it. That's why if you don't like Fargo, you're not gonna like the Big Lebowski. I'll still try it. Yeah. Yeah. I watched Ethan's movie alone when I was in Chicago. You call him Ethan like you know him. I don't like it at. It was Mr. Ethan Cohen's movie. Yeah. I saw Bobby's movie. You mean Goodfellas? No, you're right. Marty? No, Marty. You mean Marty? Cut that part out. No. Yeah. No, that's staying in. No, cut. That made me look like a fool. No, no, no. Yeah, it's foolish. What do we got here? Oh, is this our boy? This is our Spaniard replacement. His life. Oh, he looks too good now. Before he didn't look that good. Give me the phone. He's cute. You like him, huh? All right. Hey, Bob, there we are. Why is he with Dragon Ball Z-shirts because I'm Asian? He likes anime. Why are we muted on our side? You're not. Hello. Hey, what's... Hey, buddy. Thank you for having me. Oh, I like the voice. Yeah, Chris. Yeah, Bobby. Bobby is not because you're Asian. I like anime. Okay, okay, okay. He likes anime. Okay, good. Where are you from again, Chris? And I like Chinese food, too. Perfect. Chris, where are you from, buddy? I mean, New York right now. Where are you from, kiddo? Oh, I'm from the Dominican Republic. I love this guy. Dominican Republic? Dominican Republic. We own... I know what that is. Yeah, they're one of ours. Yeah. You're from America. You're from island America. I get it. I get it. Where... He's just like you. He's the last one. I like it. He's an asshole. Where do you live in New York? Let me guess. Let me guess. Hold on. Can you guess? Yeah, I'm gonna say Queens. I would say Brooklyn. Close, close. Close? Close to those? Yes. You're not in Queens? You're not in Brooklyn? No. You're not in fucking Long Island? No. No, you're not in Harlem? No. You're not in the city? Manhattan. No, he's not in the city. I know. Greenwich Village. What's that? Grenin... He's not in the village. That's in Manhattan. Oh, okay. You're not in Brooklyn. You're not in Queens. You're not in Harlem. Stay in Island. You're not in Staten Island, are you? You're in Jersey. Wow. What is it? Albany. Albany. That's not fucking New York. That's not New York. God damn it. That's upstate New York. That's upstate. That's like Onianta. I thought that because it's New York. Why, Albany is not part of New York? It is. It's in the state of New York. We're talking about the city. It's like when people go, I live in California, where? Bakersfield. Right. That's not the... Is that the... No, that's like saying I live in Los Angeles. Wait, I'm not in New York. I'm not in New York. I'm not in New York. I'm not in New York. I'm not in New York. I live in Los Angeles. Wait, wait, wait. I live in Los Angeles. Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. Wait. You're right. You're right. There's no logic there. Yeah. Okay, sorry. I got it. You get what I'm saying or no? All right, so listen. Chris, Chris, are you willing to relocate to Los Angeles? Yes. He is. What do you do for a living, Chris? I work in an electronic assembly. Oh, shit. He's got a good job. Do they pay you? No, he's geek squad at Best Buy. I don't think that's that good. Do you work for Best Boy? Best Boy? Best Buy. Oh, do you work for Best Boy? No. Okay. You can't tell us the company name. We won't say. We'll blank it out. You can... Wait, Chris. I can't say it, but if you can bleep it out... Yeah, we'll bleep it out. What is it? We'll bleep it out. I promise. It's like a really low-end company. It's called... Chris, Chris, Chris. What's... I know you have a chair, but you have a little bit of a padding there. What's the padding? Can we see? It's from one of my favorite games. Uh-huh. I love this guy. He's... I'm a huge anime fan, so... And these are all the girls you've jerked off to. Is that your comrag on your chair? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait a minute, sir. You're a big anime fan. And how old are you? I'm 32. 32, and you're single? You got a wife, family, kids? What do you got? I'm single. Okay, have you ever been in a relationship? No. You gotta get this. This guy's... Yeah. You're perfect for this show. Well, are you a virgin, Chris? Yeah. Just say it. No? No? No, I didn't... Are you religious? Is it going against your religion? No, I don't believe in any of that. Okay, good. Well, what do you believe in, Chris? Yeah, what do you believe in? What do you believe in? I believe in the bad friends' focus. Damn, dude. This guy's a man. Yeah, this guy's a man. This guy's a man. This is our guy, dude. All right, so I want to say this. I love him. If you come out here... Yes. Um, where do you live right now? We have to find a place for you. We can... We can live in the studio because our studio kind of looks like your apartment. Yeah. Where is this apartment? If you give me internet, I'm good to go. We have more than internet. We have Wi-Fi. This is great. This is amazing. I need to watch my animals. Yeah. You need to watch his animals? You have animals? Anime. Oh, anime. If he did have an animal, he would have reptiles. 100%. Yeah, spiders. Snake guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got something to show Bobby. Oh, wow. I love this guy so much. Better than Andreas. I mean, I'm not even kidding. I agree. Oh, you have a ginger too. Leo for tonight. Yeah. What's his name? He is, uh... I'm blanking out right now. You don't know your cat's name? Leo. Leo? Leo? Is that someone else's cat you just stole? Kind of. It's my sisters. It's your sisters. I kind of take care of it. Do you live at your sister's house? No. I live at my mom's house. Oh, yeah. Your mom's house. You're in the basement? Yes. This is our guy then. I'm underground. You're underground. That is a cool way to say I live in a basement at my mom's. We're going to get a private detective to do some research and stuff like that, I think first. Yeah, yeah. Before we fly you out here, we do need to do a background check. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you ever committed any crimes of any kind? No, not yet. No, don't say yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you were to commit a crime, what would it be? Larson. I have no idea. Okay. Petty theft. I will let you know when I do it. Okay, okay. Well, it'll be us, so the whole world will know. Yeah. Bad Friends Murdered by Dominican Immigrant. Chris. Hey, I'm here legal, so... Yeah. Okay, good. That's good. So, we're going to have a show. We don't care. Yeah. Half of this crew is illegal. Yeah. Well, Chris, we might have to make it a way for you to get out here. Would it be hard to get you off of work to come out here? No, not at all. Okay. I got money. I barely can take days off, so my vacation time is a start. You got a lot. Yeah. She saves his holiday fucking. Have you ever taken a vacation, Chris? Yes. Okay, where did you go? Where did you vacation to? I went to Canada for a camping. Where in Canada? Canada? Okay, I think camping is good. I have that. I don't know. I don't know. I went to Edmonton, saw the oil fields. He was in there 10 years ago, so I don't remember the place. He was kidnapped. Yeah. Have you ever been anywhere tropical? Tropical? Yeah. He's from the Dominican Republic. Oh, yeah, that's right. I've been here in the US. I'm a good detective. I've been here for 16 years, so... The guy's from a fucking island. The guy's from a fucking island. I'm not good. I'm not good. Have you ever been anywhere tropical? He's from a fucking island. Oh, my God, I'm so dumb. Have you ever been to the beach? It's like the Camino Cerrado, I think. Oh, dude. He's fancy. And Michael Jeep Jordan? Michael Jeep Jordan. Yeah, yeah. Chris, Chris, can you tell us a joke? Just tell us a quick joke before we let you go. Give us a joke. One joke. What do you call a nation with one leg? A nation with one leg? One leg? What? I want you. That's so good. It's clean, too. Taiwan, too. Another one. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's got some bad jokes. Is it a nation joke? Because that'd be so funny that it only had nation jokes. Wait a minute. Let me think. Let me think. What do you call a fat psychic? A fat psychic. Yeah. A fortune teller. I don't even get it. A fortune teller. Oh, a fortune teller. We need more. Give me another one. Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff? Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff? Why? For so many reasons. Why did the Mexican throw his wife? What did he say? Why did the Mexican throw his wife? Because he wanted tequila. Tequila. Tequila. I see. You bring that kind of energy to the West Coast, Chris. Yeah. This might just work out. I might have to have him as an interim replacement hope. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. In the booth. So you're willing... I mean, it depends what I can do. I don't know if I can do too much. No, no, no. We won't have you do almost anything. You don't have to do anything. We're not an expert. We just need you to be there. We just want you to be there. Yeah. That's incredible. Well, let's take a vote. Let's take a vote here. Let me know. Who thinks Chris is suited for the show, right? Right here, dude. That's it. That's it. Wow, Chris. That's everybody. I don't know why you're raising your hand, Richie. Yeah, I'm replacing it. Yeah, Richie. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, Chris. Well, we appreciate you, man. Hopefully we'll see you soon out here. Okay, buddy? Thank you guys for helping me. Thanks for being a bad friend. Thank you, Chris. We love you. We love you, buddy. I love you, Chris. Last week. Yeah. Don't go yet. Let me. Yeah. Okay, go ahead. No, no, no. I didn't know. Yeah. Last week was my 32 years old birthday. Yeah. We just called it a birthday. Yeah. Yeah. And that was the same day that I saw the episode where you guys saw my submission. Oh, wow. And when I heard that, I was like, wait, I've been listening to my video submission. I was laughing and it just, it just made my whole day. We love you. Actually, it made my whole week. I was to give, to respond to the email sooner because I was waiting the whole week for an email response. We love you. Oh. Chris, you're comfortable. We got to get this guy to LA. All right, Chris, we love you, buddy. We got to, we got to go. We got to go, bud. We'll talk to you soon. Thank you. Okay, bye, buddy. Yeah. Bye, dude. Yeah. Love him. I love that fucking guy. Love him. I love that guy. Yeah, yeah. We got to get that guy to LA. He's so funny. Cute. I'm not kidding. Very cute. You got to get that guy to LA. We got to get him here. We got to, you boys. We have, I'm not kidding. Yeah. I had this company at the house at 32. I didn't say anything negative. I just said it. Your energy was a little judgy. No, no, no. I thought it was true because it looked like a basement. It looked like a basement. I knew it was a basement. It was subterranean. There were no windows. He's so cute. And also. Put him up at a hotel and we'll fly him out. I'm going to get him some confidence, you know what I mean? Because I just, he's a handsome guy. Well, put him on the show. He'll get pussy from the show. I'm sure. Look at all these fucking losers get pussy from the show. It's unbelievable. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean 20 producers that do nothing. So yes dude. The resentment out of this kid. The resentment is bananas. He hates everybody. Do you even want to keep doing the show? No, he hates it. God dude, you're out of pocket. He's out of pocket. What's going on with you man? What is this? Richie at our first episode in the studio. How long ago was that? That's 22. January 22. Wait no, three years ago. Wow. So you were in his school in... Albuquerque? No, Quinnipiac. Yeah, I was an Andres student and then came here the first time I was like touring and then got the job. You look less annoying in this photo. I look less? Yeah, you look cute there. You kind of look like Andres. Yeah, you do look like Andres. So how did he hit you up? He hit you up Andres for the intern job? No, when we were needing more people I knew him and another girl, Emma, who sells on this picture. We remember Emma. Emma, yeah. She was on the show. She sat on camera, right? So they both were coming to L.A. at the same time. Wonderful. We interviewed them. How do you like L.A. Richie generally? I don't give a fuck about it. No, where do you live? Echo Park? No, I'm in Burbank. I'm a very close by. He doesn't have a car. Yeah. You walk here, Rich? I'm walking all around. You walk here? I got a ride from Carlos. Pick him up. That's very nice. That's very nice. What are your cross streets? We're going to cut it out. What am I what? What are your cross streets? Like, what is that? Like, two cross roads. Like, the big boulevard. I'm riding downtown Burbank. Downtown Burbank by AMC. Yeah. You don't know the address? No, I didn't mean I know my home address. Andre, Jen's here. I don't know why she's here. Dude, honestly? Yeah. You didn't know what a cross street is? Your major intersection? I don't have a car. No. When did you get here? That's so strong. What? Go off. What's up? Sit down. Come sit down, you fucking idiot. Come sit down. Yeah, have her stay there. Jen's hers. Hi. What are you doing with your fucking shades on? It's the sunning out. Hi. She's like a sneaky Chinese lady. She is as Chinese as sad as the hardest. Wearing side. There's no sun here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Take the glasses off. You want me to take it off? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I like that they're on. Yeah. Tim Ryrans. Tim Ryrans. Tim Ryrans. Kimo Ryrans. Yeah. So you have worked out gear? Yeah, we're going for a walk. You? Yeah, me? You never go a walk. I've been a walker. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? I go hiking all the time. I'm not talking about myself. You just go to the entrance and then you go back home. No, I don't. The last time I did it, I went all the way around. I was like, I'm not going to walk. I did it. I went all the way around. Oh my God. No. Are you guys going for a hike? Yeah, we're going for a hike. Around the reservoir. I don't know what it is. Are you really? Yeah. Around. That's why I'm wearing these. Oh, your workout shoes? Yeah, this is my workout shoes. Those are the shoes you wear every day. I know, but the pants. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's why I'm doing this. Well, you're going to go around Silver Lake? No, the Hollywood Reservoir. Hollywood Reservoir. Yeah. Right on. And he said, pick me up. Is it uphill? No, it's all flat. No, it's all flat. It's all flat. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no incline. There's no incline. But can I just say this? I woke up, I went straight here. I haven't had anything in my body. No, I've never heard this before. I need food. Bobby's mad today because there's a guy in the show, Richie. You know Richie? Richie, pop your little stupid head in. Hey, what's happening? Oh, God. So we did submissions for girls to take him out on a date, or him to take them out on a date, and he got some babes on there and Bobby's a little jealous. I wasn't jealous? I was a little. What? They're really hot. Yeah. Well, this girl was very attractive and she loves him, and Bobby was a little upset about it. Oh, man. He was upset. Oh, God. He was a little upset. Yeah. Anyway. Do you want her? Yeah. No, I was just like, I couldn't believe it. That's all. It was just the absurdity of Richie has no car. But do you find Richie attractive? Is he attractive? There's like a cuteness. Yeah. Like a boyish thing. Yeah. Not like a man. But you would never. I would. No, you wouldn't. Like, I was here. You know what you're lying? You take Hollywood directors. No. Oh, no, no, no, because I'm tired of a Chinese attitude. But I will say. I would. Yeah, yeah. You wouldn't with Richie. There's no way. I would. Richie, do not believe this communist liar. Yeah, she's a liar. She means none of this. I believe it. There's a cuteness. This is how they get you. Yeah, yeah, that's how they get you. You'll be working in a factory. Your bank account is gone. It's gone. It gets a cuteness, right? Two days later, I have nothing in. Yeah, she did it. Thank you. Thank you. Goodbye. Yeah, yeah. And you get no action from it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He doesn't fucking. I mean, don't you think so? I like his legs. But you would never go out with him. No. Yeah, yeah. What? She, Filipinos are fucking honest. Yeah, they are. That's what I love about Filipinos. We do like Filipino. No, not at all. Disgusting. Come over here and show your legs. She likes his legs. This doesn't make sense. Legs are thick. See, I don't understand this. Oh, you get the fuck out of here. Look at his upper body. Look at his upper body. It's creep show. He's a walking creep show. He's cute. Yeah. Andrea, don't lie. Yeah, why are you? I'm not lying. Stop it. And then the app, can I just say this? That's pissing me off. Her last boyfriend, K-pop star. Yeah. No. He was not a star. No, he was like a rapper. Oh, whatever. Indonesian rapper. Yeah, but he's 30. Indonesian. He wrapped 30,000 people at his show. Do you know Rich Brian? No. Yeah, nobody knows. I don't know who the fuck that is. Yeah, look up Rich Brian right now. He's cute. Yeah. Oh, I know this guy. Yeah. I do know this guy. Yeah. So, you know, you're going to go from that to Richie. You're not going from that to Richie. I think he's Richie. Richie will never be on a red carpet. That's a good one. That's just like love on the spectrum. Yeah. Rich though, I want to see you take that girl out on a date and enjoy it. Bad friends will take. Bad friends will give you a budget. We'll give him a budget. But here's the deal. Carlos, no, not Carlos. McCone has to be your chauffeur for the night. He's your Uber driver. So he can and McCone set up a GoPro in the car so we can capture the interaction. Yeah. I'm driving. No. I'm driving. No, you'll sabotage. No, no, no, I'm not going to sabotage this. They want them to be safe. You're going to steal that. No, I'm not going to. Why, why? I think that's crazy. She gets out of the car. I've got to be the driver. She's like, what's up with that Chinese guy driving us? Yeah. You want her. Yeah. What? You want her. I don't want nobody, dude. First of all, you act as if that's owning human beings. I don't want any. Oh, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're free people. Oh, I get how you are. They're free people. You think you own women? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're a pig. You're a pig, dude. You're a pig person. No, it's a mutual. So women are below you. Is that what you're saying? Oh, no. I'm not a red bull. Richie, go get me another red bull, dude. I have an idea while he gets that. Yeah. I drive. I rent a suburban, okay? And it's you and him and her together. It's a tri date. And I'm the chauffeur for the night. That's fun. I take you guys out and it's a competition to see which one of you, it's not for me, babe. It's for your enemy. It's a three way and I'm like the moderator and we see which of you guys lands the girl at the end of the night. That, to me, is more fun. It just depends on how old she is because she's not over 30. I can't do it. All right. So look, maybe we'll set up a three way date. She might be down. Ask her if she's interested in that, Carlos. And it'll be like a, it'll be a dating show. That will be love on the spectrum. We'll see who you guys. Or it could be, you know, here's what it could be. Okay. It's me teaching Richie. Coaching. Like a coach. Love coach. Yeah. Love coach. That'd be good. You know what I mean? I'm going to wear some threads. I know how you're going to dress. I'm going to suit it up by then. Are you going to dress nice, Richard? Oh yeah. What's nice? What's nice for you? Like do you got, what do you do? You do the collared shirt? Yeah, I do your collar shirt. Little button down. A little nice pants. Slacks. How are we going jeans? I'm going to get a new suit. He's going to get, he's going to go get an Italian handmade suit. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going to get a new suit. You know he's going to fuck you over. I'm going to get a different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. I'm going to get different suit. They, let's get him a suit, let's get him a real nice suit. And then Richie will go take you to men's warehouse. You pick out anything you want. So Andrea, go back to her. Yeah, yeah. She's moving up in the world. She's now open, she opened for Bilber. I know. Right? Ronnie Chang. I know. Right? Whitney Cummings now. Okay. And John Molini. Yes. Yeah. So you're on the rise and she flaked on a gig with me. So am I a tear below them? No. No, be honest. Bad for you. You haven't been on bad words. This podcast is all about honesty and being real and authentic. That was a mistake and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have flaked on it. She tried to give me shit. She was like, who you taking on those new dates? And I said, Devontre Coleman. She goes, oh, I guess anti woman. That's what you said. Yeah. That's how you get your gigs. No, I said anti Chinese. I did say anti Chinese. It's something to do with female. Let me ask you to say if Devontre, right? Two days before a gig says I can't go. What would you do? I gotta get another black guy. Yeah. I gotta get another black guy. Exactly. My show is for young black men. Yeah, I know it is. Mine too. Mine too. That's what I put out there. Mine too. There's no black people in the audience, but. Also when she was like, how come you wouldn't take me on any of those dates? You get so much work. Oh, so you ask. I, well, I asked. That sneaky Chinese shit. She did. I opened for me and then you asked my partner. She did. Yeah. I wanted to open for everyone. She was open for every single headliner. And I was like, no, you already get so much work. You open for Burr and then Malanie. No, no. We have to spread it around. I'm greedy Chinese. She's greedy Chinese. Oh, she's the greedy kind. She's what I respect them. But you know what she's not? At least they know they're greedy. She's not the cut in the line kind. Now she'll wait. I've waited in lines with you before. She'll wait. Yeah. That's why we love you. You're gonna wait. But I will say, man, the Chinese are good. They're so sneaky. They're so good at what they do. God. No, but you're getting so much work. You don't need it. You're cruising. Bobby, I'm sorry. I was a mistake. Let me say something. OK. But can I? I think you're one of the fastest, funniest rising comics. She's doing great. Yeah. I think you're so funny and original and all that stuff. Right? I just don't let your sneaky chopstick moves. I'm not doing that. Yeah. Yeah. And it's so sneaky and chopsticky. What am I doing that sneaky chopstick? Yeah. You just do. What? Yeah. Coming to the stage. Yeah. Yeah. Wait. That was a miscommunication. It's not. I know what it was. So you bailed on a date. I thought it was one day only. No, that's insane. OK, so all right. You want to get back into it? Let's do it. OK. All right. OK. The year before, right? If I'm doing Stand Up Live in Phoenix. Yeah. One of the best rooms in America. Sure. Right? She did it a year before. It was four shows. Yeah. I asked her to do it again. She thought it was. Stop. OK. Stop. OK. OK. A Korean's talking. OK. But can I say something? Oh, dude. Wow. You're about to start another war. A Korean's talking. I mean, I respect you. No, no, you. Your age not because of Korea. Oh. This is racist shit. That's racist shit. I love it, dude. Our movies are elite. Our K-pop is unfathomable. Unfathomable. OK. OK. We have faith. I just want to say that. We have stuff. We have a song. Bring up the terrace. Bring up the terrace. Terrace. Terrace. Yeah. And also crouching tiger, hidden dragon. I'll give you that. All right. Well, Jinsers, I'm happy that you're here. You guys go take the boy on a walk. All right. Anyway, go thank you for being a bad friend in there, both of you. Thank you for being a bad friend. Yeah. Woo. Yeah. Woo. Yeah. Woo. Yeah.