The Adventure Zone Royale: Episode 6

Previously on Taz Royale. I very recently did Grakhana kindness, which he admitted, where I complimented his powers. You are unconscious and you are through the barrier you are not dead. Grakhan has pulled you through. Okay, I'm going to trigger one of Hellgram's hit-dye heels as I step back through the door. Try and get that last key, please. Sorry, I'm out of actions. And Bobby Dazzler and Carmine and the entire world outside is swallowed up in flames. I'm not going to be the one who decides who the rest of the people are who failed and perished in this trial. Welcome back to Taz Royale. Everybody, we have finished up our second trial, the trial of abduration and all three of our brave heroes have survived. Barely. Barely. Actually, I did fine. I had a really good time. You did great. I did great. You relied a little bit on the kindness of strangers and not by strangers. I mean, you're sworn bitter rival Grakhan, but you got there by hooker crook and everyone has made it into the safety of the ziggurat. He just know what they call Taz and France. What do they call it, Taz Royale? That's good. I know what they get. If you get a cheeseburger. Wait, wait, let me do one, Travis. Do you know what they do? Do you know what it's called when there's a, do you know what they call a Taz episode in France that has Travis on it? What? What a royale with cheese. You know what they have. Shut up. Oh, that. Let it breathe, Mac. Let it breathe and let it open up. The Tannins need a moment. Mac, let it breathe. It's a handy one. That was good. A handy one, man. You guys let me know. All right. Now, Dad, you get yours out of your system. You know what you do if you're gambling on Taz in France. What's that, Dad? Go to Casino Royale. Cool, cool. That would trap yours just better, Dad. Dad pulled over the car to put his head in a dumpster. Travis has been silenced as Justin issued his, he just said, I don't appreciate the cheese. Shattered everyone. I'm sure he's standing. You know, I'm stinging. I'm sure he's standing. You know, I'm stinging. I don't know if it was just the last straw. So you all have made it into the cigarette. You were the last one in hell, Grammett. Moments after you entered the flames outside the front gate, just rage and royal baptizing the world outside in cleansing flame. And then, as suddenly as these fires appeared, they vanished without a trace. And as they pass, you all can see that the island outside has been completely untouched. You see the even Bobby Dazler. The gardens are untouched. The rows of cabins in the distance are spotless and new. The only thing that's different are the people and bodies who were outside moments before hell, Grammett, you left through the gate with the final key. They are all gone. Including. I think that the ziggurat is not even smoking. It is not. No. Because that's bad for you. Yeah, you shouldn't. It's a little bad for your health. If you're a ziggurat, you shouldn't smoke or vape. Inside the ziggurat. Sorry, hold on, Dad. Was that because ziggurat sounds like ziggurat? Yeah, but we didn't let it breathe. No. That was the problem, Dad. 48 wizards cluster in small groups around this cavernous central chamber of the ziggurat. It is a room akin to sort of like a fancy hospital lobby or university commons. There's potted plants of all shapes and sizes that adorn several comfortable looking seating areas. There's stacks of stone staircases branching off to these eight floors in this MC Escher Esk fashion. There's crystalline water pouring slowly down these seven silver basins emerging from the rear wall before splashing into a grand fountain in the center of the chamber. And there is just a flurry of activity around this room as the trial ends. Sentient cauldrons filled with luminescent liquids slosh their way throughout the crowd, distributing healing drafts to those who are sporting injuries. Laura Vith, you awaken to a floating spoon lovingly feeding a tonic into your mouth. And as you choke back to life, you realize that the wound from Helvetica's knife has vanished and you feel just right as rain. And in the moments after the flames pass, everyone sort of takes a look around this room to determine who survived the second trial of the concave. That's what we're going to settle right now. So through playing, we have confirmed nine of the 16 wizards who died in this trial. Those wizards being Bobby Dazzler, Tremora, the yellow ranger, Powderkeg, Kelly, the goblin, Ignacio, the red ranger, the green ranger, Zephyr, Gustav Wind, a tough round for the rangers. This one three out of four, not great. We had Whisper, Helvetica, Athena, and Carmine who all perished in the final battle. And we also confirmed eight of these survivors, you three, obviously, Grycon, the spider, the spider who is a big spider, Hasty Jane Jennings, absolute zero, and the gentleman who stole your key when he froze time. So about the other two spiders, the other two spiders, we have not confirmed whether or not they have gotten in or out. These are all the things that we have confirmed through play. Right now, that leaves seven survivors who died that we do not know. Seven survivors who died. Shit, they are going to have quite a confusing day. Seven aspirants, thank you, Justin, who died. And here's how we're going to pick them. Each one of you are going to pick two more aspirants who perished in the second trial. And then I will roll on the table to see who the last one is for a total of seven. You can choose an aspirant for any reason you like. Maybe you don't like the concept behind their character. Maybe their name is too corny for you to want to share a season of the adventure zone with them. Or maybe you want their spell to sort of join the pool of possible new spells you could know, gather later on down the road. So I would ask each of you to open up the list of aspirants here and juice we can start with. I have just dropped it into the text chain. Our family text thread. Our family text thread. But that's sacred, Griffin. It is so not fucking sacred, dude. This is our first guy letting us know when old celebrities have died. Or when there's a great auction for movie. What was our auction yesterday then? What was our auction yesterday? Oh god. It was a tombstone from a curb your enthusiasm. Oh, it was all kinds of things from a bunch of different HBO shows. Ah, okay. We didn't click through as is our want. Yes. We didn't because I sent it. But no, there's like Dexter props and costumes from all the way. So there's a like a great merchandise. Yeah. Okay, juice, you have the list. Kill a wizard. I would like to claim the life of stink bug. Stinkbud is a stink. Stinkbud with a day is a grunting stink bug. And the lore, if I could take everyone inside the lore of stink bug, a largely nonverbal stink bug who speaks only in grunts and sprays. He couldn't cut it out there, unfortunately, and he fell into a ravine. Okay. Yeah. We flash back to the second trial stink bug. Okay, I can't believe stink bug. Sure. Yeah. I think if you kill him, you should get to see him often. Okay, yeah, sure. And then he falls into a ravine. Okay. Stinkbud. We hardly knew you. Okay, that's our first one down. Travis, how about you? I'm going to take out. I want to take out a sergeant brace. Okay. A sergeant in the alchemical army buttoned up. He dies. How does he die? He polishes boots to mine and lost track of time. No. Well, no, it reflected in his eyes and the glare distracted him while he was fighting with one of those sword leaf things sliced in a prime half. Are you going to do this? I'm sure. Shall we play it out? Yeah, sure. Okay. Thank you. Oh, terrible. Oh, ah. Oh my eyes. Oh, no. Ah, my guts. Oh, my guts have spilled out all over the ground. Okay, sergeant. Sergeant. Oh, my beautiful shoes are ruined. Why did I spend six hours polishing my boots? Only to have the guts ruined. I'm beautiful guts. My beautiful guts. We should point out as Stinkbud died a poison spray during the pool of spells. A poisonous sergeant brace goes down firebolt joins the pool of spells dad. Who do you want to kill? Um, I'm going to kill a scorching ray. Brutal. Can you read scorching rays like full bio here? scorching ray whose talent was scorching ray. Yeah. And what was the reference? Reference was Ray Romano. Yeah. And the lore was. I fully and completely ran out of ideas here at the very last guy. I thank you for killing scorching ray. Give me scorching rays, death, please. scorching rays death. He finally got around to eating lunch that his mom packed in the middle of this hour long trial. Well, he needed the energy. Okay. You know, me because you got to have the carbs for the fire. Okay. He makes a mom and the linguine was bad. Oh, he died from it. And he died. It was real bad. All right. scorching really bad linguine scorching rays scorching ray joins the pool of of spells. All right. Back to you, juice. Your second guy here. Did scorching ray get a death scene or no? Yeah. I mean, he did one. Oh, this linguine mom. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I think we should all we've all been so good lately. I think we should all get a chance of pretending to be Ray Romano dying. Yeah. Oh, man. That's your Ray Romano. I'm working on it. Deborah. Deborah. Deborah. Deborah. Oh, that was good. Wait, who did the last one? My bio, Deborah. Oh, my bio. My bio. My bio. I'm seeing how many more stuff. Oh, my beautiful god. My beautiful god. My brother stepped on. My real god. My real god. My real god. My real god. Mom, what did you do? I would like to do Betty Fortuna, please. Betty Fortuna. Let me find Betty Fortuna on this list of 64 wizards. Betty Fortuna, owner of Fortune's Favor, who is basically Lady Gaga. Yes. A flashy, famed gambler and known racon tour. How does Betty Fortuna perish? She's on the phone with her friends standing underneath the tree and then a big heavy branch fill off and kill her. Wow. A lot of it was. So give me that. Yeah. Yeah, like I was saying, I just don't think the other races are as good as mine. Oh, it's a squish. Oh, right. Did you know that about Betty Fortuna? Didn't know that about Betty Fortuna. Did you know that about Betty Fortuna? She's a huge racist. Damn, dude. Damn, dude, I'm glad she got some. Yeah, for sure, dude. I'm glad she got some. Shit, man. I can't remember. Last time the death of a racist made me this happy. No way, yes, I can. Okay, Travis, your second pick, please. Oh, thank you. There's some names on there where if you pick them, I'll never fucking... Yeah, I know. That's why I'm trying to have them. But would you let it play, Griff? I mean, yeah, I'll let anything happen. I'm going to roll the dice later and see who dies. So one of my beloveds could get the ax here. Um... Let's see. The... The... Let's choose, dude. It feels like you had 64 action figures and you were like, yeah, guys, if you want to play, that'd be cool. You guys just pick which ones you want to throw into the wood chipper. I mean, maybe like that one. Not that one. I really liked it. Okay, yes. Far ahead. Yeah, stupid anyway. I'm going to take out Wink Tru Fellow. Wink Tru Fellow, yeah. Okay. Based on a fake psychic drawn Edwards. Yes. With his spelled detect thoughts. Betty Fortuna's spell. I deleted it already. It was something about like twist, twist fate or fortune. I thought it was fortune, it's favorite. Fortunes, favorite, that was it. Yes, thank you. Uh, Wink Tru Fellow looks at the person he's walking with, it goes, I'm sensing, I'm sensing that there's a key. There's a key. I'm getting a key, right? And I'm going to walk through this door and there's a key and he opens the door and a bear just eats his head off. Okay, awesome. Uh, detect thoughts, rejoins the pool. And dad, your last pick, please. Um, uh, Mrs. Glass. Mrs. Glass. Oh. Mrs. Glass. Oh. That is the, uh, Mary Poppins inspired an aristocratic middle-aged woman, famed for her power of turning invisible. Invisibility rejoins the pool. How does Mrs. Glass perish? Um, musically, she announces it musically. Oh, thank God. But she's dying. Uh, yeah. Uh, yeah. Let's hear it, dad. I'm ready for your marriage. She serves Mary Poppins parody. Super gallows fragile. Listen to extermination notice. Wow, sirs, dad. Jesus Christ, man, that actually gave, sent a chill up my spine and took my breath away. That was the intent. Somewhere weird, Al Yangevik just announces retirement. Yeah. Him and Cleetus Judd. All right. Uh, I am going to now roll a number. Now, wait, are we in this list? Uh, you are, but you're safe. So that would be wild. That would be so fucking hot. That would be such an insane, uh, the soul of the animal police has chosen. Okay. 45 is Bill Shredley. Oh, man. Bill Shredley based on slash guitar singing rock star with a devoted following. Uh, he, he is standing on a bluff overlooking the rest of the island as the fireball comes down from the sky, knowing that he's too late, pulls out his guitar, plays a beautiful elegy, uh, as, uh, as the fires come down and, uh, consume the island, his spell thunder wave rejoins the pool. All right. That's it. Like if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if if of each of the 16 fallen wizards appear around the the Ziggurat Hall. You see the spectral image of Bobby Dazzler just doing some tight roles. You see everybody falls before it's screaming. It should have been Hellgram it. You see Stinkbud looking at his like arms his pincers like confused that he's dead and he's a hologram now that's crazy. Can I talk to Hellgram it? Yes, sure of course. You remember which talent? Yeah, I mean yeah you have one. I want to talk about the Bobby Dazzler thing. Yeah, sure. You made a difficult choice. Yes, I did. I think we all made a lot of difficult choices. Some more than most of us are sitting with you. Uh, to be honest with you, I'm a bit convicted and a bit conflicted. You didn't help me but Rick this did. Rick this helped me quite a bit. And you know I think maybe I've seen the light. I think I need to change the way I'm approaching this contest. So that would be quite a shame. Honestly I enjoyed your quite a bit. But of course this is it. I want to know more about my playmates. My opponent on my mind. So gross. So gross gotta go know your best of having you. I'll tell you I regret this competition I've been to I must hope to I should fulfill dreams. Did you like your parents? I have to ask hellgram it is the conflictedness you're feeling that Rick this did save you at one point. And then also did steal your key to go inside. I don't know if you forgot about that in the five full calendar weeks since we recorded I remember. I remember I just but it's it's what have you done for me lately? Yeah sure I mean the most latest thing he did was steal you know I yielded mattress all the key. Oh that's a good point good point good point. Okay do you remember after I remember really it has been such a long time. I would have died for like the fifth time. Yeah if there hadn't been for rictus 90s kids remember 90s kids maybe I want to know about rictus. And rictus tell me about your parents. I'd rather not right so I'd rather not right now. Okay maybe we'll have a notch later. Okay. Suddenly the three of you hear a splashing from the fountain at the center of the room and from the basins. And you all see the eight wizards of the octave each emerge from one of these seven silver basins and this fountain. At the middle of the room ocean appears from the central fountain the wizard who addressed you before the last trial and he clears his throat and he says. Congratulations aspirants for passing the second trial of this concave by demonstrating your courage, cleveness and opportunism. You are now one step closer to your arcane ascension. More and not your fallen fellows as there will live on within the very stone foundation of this island. We are now adjourned and shall proceed with the third trial in two days time. After each trial you will have a day to rest to spend how you please we will proceed in this fashion trial than rest and so on until the final trial on the 14th day. You will be spending a fortnight with us. And he looks around the room. He gets no recognition. Okay, the keys. I'm there. I'll ask. Okay, good. The keys you all obtained have imbued you with an enchantment that shall grant you access to a designating living quarter on the southern realm of the island. The quality of your lodging and the rewards waiting within do correspond to the value of the key you scavenged. You will rest while you may enjoy your day of leisure and study and we shall reconvene here the morning after next now some ground rules. First, you must never remove your grimoire from your arm doing so will mark your immediate disqualification from the concave. You may not attack in your or bring direct harm to another aspirant unless otherwise directed. You are all prohibited from approaching the crystalarium at the islands. Sorry, man. Yeah, for sure. You're directed by whom? You're by us by the rules of the trial. If a snake or something slithers up to you and is like, hey, you should go and you know, you should go kill Dr. Lagume. Dr. Lagume looks at himself like, why, why me? Why did you say my name? Why am I a part of that? The snake is the trickster that trying to trick you. I don't care. I don't care. Okay. Well, don't, yes, don't listen. I guess unofficial rule don't listen to any snakes. What if they only got, what if the good doctor asked me to hurt him? I suppose that there is some precedent for hurting someone to help them. I then that is. Who do you be kind to the right measure? If you have, if you require clarifications about a choice, a course of action you are considering you may inquire your person. If time allows, if time allows, we can all agree on this. Your personal assistant Chris who lives within your grimoire will be able to help you. Susp those out and don't go towards the big crystal at the top with northern end of the island. All other areas of the island are free for you to explore. Patronize our endless library, our relics of histories forgotten, find the secrets to the arcane questions that have played you your entire life. You will learn much here. I can promise you that. Are there any questions? Do we get to choose where we will live? Did you say? No, I pretty much specifically said that you have been assigned lodging based on the key that you acquired. I know, but is it strictly location location location or is it how nice the domicile is? I mean, I thought it would be pretty self-evident, but like there's name plates with your names over all the different places where you're going to be staying. Will I be close to my new friends? I would like to be placed somewhere near to my tomb. I suppose if you want to trade rooms with someone, you could work that out. Can I get a humidifier in mine? I'll get real dank. What color key did you get? Absolutely not. No way, dude. Absolutely not. If anybody ends up with a humidifier and doesn't want it, please let me know. Okay, well, is there a place to plug in my CPAP? Of course, we are actually required to provide you with any sort of CPAP accommodations. CPAP and a humidifier, dude. What kind of pulmonary functions do you have? Getting him coming and going. Being in the grants is very complicated. Okay. Well, you, that is not the type of questions I was expecting as you are all competing in a deadly game for which there can only be one win. Is the cafeteria like a point thing or is it, do we have like a budget of like money that we can spend there or what's the... Yes, if you make your way to the crystal orchid at the northwest end of the island, your culinary desires will be catered to promptly. Okay, well, I guess I'll see you all in a couple days and good luck prepare for this next trial. Rest, study, spend your time how you would like and I wish you all a good evening. Okay, bye. I didn't mean to say that like a vampire, but... All right. And Oshim and the other seven wizards of the octave descend into the water of their respective basins and they disappear. And slowly the wizards file out of the ziggurat and you all approach the lodgings which are sort of arranged in a few different rows at the southern end of the island. You all can see a row of two story really, really, really nice looking cabins. As you approach them, there are golden name plates over each one and on those name plates you see a few familiar names, the spider, Grycon, the gentleman. It actually says the gentleman from Wizzberry over his in Loroveth, you find your cabin right next door to Grycon's and a handful of other names. I have not assigned the other color keys of the winners because I didn't know who is going to die. So we'll settle that a little bit later on. These are the residences down at the bottom right corner of the island. They are behind this giant bonfire that's between these residences and the ziggurat that have these four floating red crystal surrounding it. It looks really magical and it casts a really sort of lovely soft light on these eight, you know, primo cabins that are closest to it. Next row of features 16 smaller looking almost like duplexes, sort of like studio apartments kind of set up. They are made out of this sort of light granite material with some windows, not like the fanciest lodgings, but like, you know, a hotel room or a motel perhaps that you might stay in. And you find your room assembled amongst the others here, Hellgram it. The only other silverkey we know is Hastie Jane, but there's 14 other wizards here staying in this row as well. And finally at the very end of the island we have a row of 24, is that all right? Yes, 24 tents that are set up. They are, I mean, they're decently sized tents. These are like sort of higher-in tents that you might find at an REI, not like a stick holding up like a single tarp. Like they are, they are decent, but they are definitely much smaller and much less secure than the other lodgings here in the residential block. And as you walk through, you find a wooden nameplate hanging over a dark blue tent that has your name on it, Richtus. I would like to intercept the gentleman before he goes into his residence. Sure, his is on the very end, so you see him kind of like approaching the stoop walking up to his grand front entrance as the rest of the crowd kind of like files passed making their way to their individual rooms. Sorry, excuse me. Yes! Oh my goodness. Sorry, what was your name? I can catch it, my hero. Oh, Richtus, Ravenwood the fourth. Ravenwood, one of the, wow, wow, this is truly, it's nice to meet someone from such an esteemed family. Oh, thank you. And what, you're the gentleman, what may I ask? You may call me the gentleman from WizBerry. And let me catch you off. I am so sorry about taking your key. I have but one power. And when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. And so in that moment, you're taking your golden key was the only option that was available to me. In order to survive, certainly you can understand that, certainly, Richtus. Well, I wanted to give you the opportunity to trade me back. Trade you, oh, oh, trade you back keys. Yeah. Well, I'm not sure because the keys have bestowed us with an enchantment, as soon as we cross the threshold of the ziggurat. So it's not a physical thing that I can trade you. I suppose we could speak to Chris and ask if there's any way to transfer. But it just doesn't seem like it's in the spirit of the competition. That's very important. But I tell you what, I am so beat, Richtus. I am so, so tired. I am advanced in years. Oh, let's get some sleep on a night tomorrow. I also just wanted to say, thank you. Oh, for what? Oh, so when I kind of joined in to this competition, I was just kind of doing it. You know, like, because it seemed like a thing to do and kind of earned my family's approval and all that. But you have given me purpose in it so that I now really want to win. Oh, wonderful. So I can use my newfound power and my necromancy skills to punish you. Oh, careful. Careful, Richtus. There's no need to threaten me. Oh, it's not a threat. Oh, it's not a threat. It felt threatening if I can be honest with you, Richtus. Yes, I know that I have slided you. I am not ignorant of that. And I do apologize, Richtus. I am not a nasty man down on the terra firma. It's just this place. It is a competition. It is. It is a new intent to win. So I welcome this healthy rivalry between the two of us. Perhaps our paths will cross as colleagues, as co-conspirators from time to time. But if those crossroads should meet on a battleground, I suppose we will figure that out as well. I must bid you a good evening though. So tired, so old. And he makes his way in the door of his cabin and shuts it behind him. So Laura Vith is in the gold. Helgramit, you are in silver. The silver sort of like duplexes here and Richtus is in atent. Friend Richtus. Richtus? My friend? Hello? Yeah. Helgramit? I feel like I owe you for basically saving my life. Would I would be happy to swap with you if you would like to switch domiciles? I think that I am more used to roughing it and being close to the earth. I think perhaps I would be happier in a tent and you would be happier in a residence that was a little bit more high-glast than just a tent. And I would like to reward you. Would you consider that? Hey, Fred. Hey Griffin. Yeah. Can I make an inside check against another player? Yeah, certainly. Dad, if you want to text me, I guess, if your motivations here are on the level or not, or we can have that way, I know if you are rolling a deception check or if you are sort of telling the truth here? I am trying to get all tearing our motives. Yeah, absolutely. Travis, why don't you roll the inside? Yeah, we'll see how that goes first. Yeah. It's a five. So I'm, you know, I'm going to get the fuck out of here. Yeah, I guess it doesn't really matter, Dad. I suppose your intentions here are... Dad texted all of us. It defeats the point. Yeah, I didn't even look. Dad just said buttering, which is... Which is great. Okay. With your five inside check, you get the sense that he's buttering you, Travis. Is it big enough for us to be roommates? No, that is... Griffin. Really figure out the possibilities here. Well, let me add, I would like to have our domiciles in a row. You know, like, Lord of it, in the gold, in you and the silver, in me and the bronze, at the copper, and just the three of us in a nice line. Like, is there a reason he's even thinking about us? I want to know why you're even having my name in your mouth. Like, we had... Seriously, why are you... You all did stand back to back as... You know, as... In bad, co-operative. And it makes sense because you and I were working together, Lord of it, and then I saved his life. It took his key. Yeah, it is up to you, Travis. Do you want to train? I'm going to join them then. Can I come over? I'm talking about where we're living. Yeah, sure. Please take mine. May we? Oh, have you looked inside the gold? I'll open the door to them so they can look inside. It is... Oh, shit. It's incredible. Paul, it's... He has a PS6? Hardwood, there's a PS6 in there hooked up to a 71-inch plasma screen. Plasma screen? Yeah, it's a blast. Yeah, what? That's what makes it fantasy. There's a TV. It's... There's a huge ice chest filled with snacks of all shapes and sizes. Is it a smart ice chest? It actually... Oh my God, I can't get out of the void. What's funny is actually, Lord of it, as you went in there, when you opened up the ice chest, it was full of your favorite food. It was very much designed for you. I don't feel it. They would have actually sleep in this. Yeah, you know, whichever one of you wants this. I'll tell you, would you be happy in the silver? Would be through to sleep in under the stars on the grass. Okay. So this is for a Goliath. Yeah, sure. This feels to him like not... An environment he'd be comfortable in. It's way too like crafted. It feels way too distant from nature. It also feels for him extremely exposed. Yeah. So he does not... This does not feel like a treat for him. Okay. Okay. I will... I will happily accept the gold, but I'll have like an open door policy. So you guys can come in and like raid the fridge and stuff if you want. Clubhouse! Yeah! I love that. Okay. All these houses will say on the far right end in a row. There's this dark blue tent here that ends up being Newer's Lord of it. And then Hellgram it. You have this duplex here on the right side. And then you have a rictus, this gold cabin. As you sort of make these verbal agreements, you see the name plates over the tent and the cabin swap. And now there's just like one cabin with a wooden name plate and one tent with a golden name plate. Designating those as your guys, respective domiciles. Griffin, when I look out the back of my tent, what do I see? Yeah. You look out the back of your tent. If you look at our map, the way our map is set up, these tents are sort of at the outer rim of our map. So I'm curious like what my tent, what I'd be seeing out there. So you can see it is a dusk and you can still see through kind of like the dawning moonlight, the lands below. You are on the very edge of the island. And I am not sure what that experience would be like for someone as kind of connected to the earth as a force field. Is it physical? No, no force field. Nothing whatsoever. It is a sheer drop off down, you know. Don't sleep several hundred feet. Yeah, you get the sense that if you rolled out a bed a little bit too enthusiastically, it would be the last thing you ever did. But you can see the lands below from where you all are. I mean, now that you don't have the pressure of this fireball hanging over you, I think you all get the feel that this is a truly sort of surreal, just kind of sensory experience being on this island. It's moving quite slowly through the skies right now. But from this position, you can see almost all of the fold this area that has been kind of contained here this world that you know surrounded by this towering wall of fog that surrounds it. So it is a scenic vista to say the least. Laura Vith, when he gets back over, he packs up the tent into like a tight roll and he gets his pack. And he sets up sort of a little seat there facing out over the edge because it's like it reminds him of the mountain peaks. It reminds him of being up. So he sets it up. That's his like bed there as he's just like set up a little wedge for him to nestle himself in just with a view out over the edge. Rad, I love it. So you're sleeping out under the stars. Yeah, no tent. Okay, fantastic. As you do that, as you sort of roll up your designated tent, hell gram it out as you make your way into your silver residence and you make your way into the the gold one, Richtus. Richtus, you find that Laura Vith's food didn't change as you guys swapped houses. And so it's just like you what what is it? What's food for Laura Vith? I imagine big beef big beefy men slap me. Yeah, I think that it would be most of the year they would be eating preserved meats because they wouldn't for us a year they can't you know catch live meat. So for him, I think it would be fresh game like that is that is a delicacy from from his point of view the stuff that won't keep. Okay, so a wonderful little cultural exchange that has happened unintentionally here, Richtus. As you all make your way into your lodgings, you are as everyone all the 48 aspirants are I imagine quite exhausted from the the preceding day. The first and second trials basically happened back to back and so in this past day you you know underwent this wild sort of psychic experience with the trial of divination and then this this struggle for survival and the trial for abduration you're pretty worn out. You do notice among the sort of like belongings that have been laid out for you each of these residences contained a small pouch and Laura Vith in the pouch inside the tent you find three small metal cubes that are made out of copper and hellgram it same for you you find three metal cubes made of silver and in your cabin. Richtus you find a pouch with three cubes made out of gold and you assume this to be the rewards that ocean hinted at earlier and with that you all take stock of your stuff and as the stars come out sort of uninterrupted in the sky above your closer to them than any of you have ever been. You all drift off to a night of deep slumber. Got a few announcements before you get back to the rest of the episode we got some new merch up in the macroi merch store over at macroidmurch.com new t-shirt with a helping is always a free action design on it there's a 20 make it stick and but I think it's a rollicking adventure survival tale set in outer space that that anyone would get a thriller to out of there's entry there's action there's stunts there's everything that a book can have I think those are the three right I said action and stunts right yeah no that's all of it so you can pre order that now it bit that LY slash Griffin still away and it would be gosh just a huge help to me if you would consider doing that the book is $10 and it comes out again on March 10th so don't wait go ahead and secure your copy today that's it enjoy the rest of the episode we will be back with a new one in two weeks so talk to you then bye. Hey it's TV chef fantasy league you know the podcast where we watch cooking competition shows and we treat them like fantasy sports right now we're getting ready for top chef Carolinas we spend all year covering these competitions but now it's time for the main event the apex predator of competitive cooking television shows tune in for after team and play along with your host Sierra Cotto Mike Gabel on and if you want to wait new episodes every week at maximum fun dot org or wherever you get your podcasts wonderful is a podcast where we talk about things we like that's hard to sell in a promo like this so we've enlisted the help of piano rock superstar Billy Joel to tell you about some of the topics we've covered take it away real Billy Joel Eddie Roxman on the sun world some show circle time say good drink asses a salad tower of annoyed keep me up eight time capsules wanes world cheese balls wall is even stonkey gone fun size all mature they didn't stop the podcast except that's not true they didn't want to do they didn't stop the podcast no they actually did that was a fact of film listen to wonderful every Wednesday on maximum fun dot org or wherever you get your podcasts thanks real Billy Joel no problem Griffin the sun rises over the octave ziggurat the following morning and you all awaken inside of your your your different places of rest and you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you know you all gather at the the Atelier at the end of of this day off for you all to acquire some new spells. We should also point out that you all have leveled up to level three in the time. I guess as you slept it was such a good sleep you leveled up twice. Dang dude. As such I anticipate that you all got some new stuff but for Wizard's Dream situation. Yeah super duper super wet constantly buckets and now you all are a bit heartier more more HP which is probably the most kind of noteworthy thing since Wizards in the classic rules set that we are using get some stuff that is maybe not going to be so relevant to this season. Travis pointed out that now you can learn necromancy spells at half the cost. Yeah which is not really anything that we are going to be dealing with here. Was there any any feature added in your third level acquisition that you guys want to share? I am curious to hear what school you all have chosen. You already touched on mine but with the school of necromancy I did pick up Grim Harvest. Once per turn when you kill one or more creatures with a spell of first level or higher you gain HP you regain HP equal to twice the spells level or three times this level if the school if the spell belongs to the school of necromancy. Oh that's cool but that doesn't work on constructs or undead. Okay. I and I did want to mention in the second level there's a scholar a perk and I am taking advantage of what I believe is a type of graphical area here. As well studying magic you specialized in another field of study choose one of the following skills in which you have proficiency arcana history investigation medicine nature or religion you have expertise in the chosen skill but in the drop-down box my choices are religion nature medicine or intimidation so I took intimidation. Okay you became such a good wizard that you are as bit scary little scary. I'm also seven and a half feet tall. Yeah sure no it makes a lot of sense. What school did you choose? A vocer. You've vocer. Yeah I'd already found the absorb element and I had my lightning lash so I just make a lot of sense. A vocer was a good. Now I do have similar the I have an one called an evocation savant which makes it easier for you to learn. Two spells that I could learn for free but of course that's not really. We will be handling spell acquisition in a very special way this season and we will get to it later in this day but how do you all want to spend your days? Do you have any any ideas anything you want to do to you know answer some grand arcane question of the universe magic is still widely not like fully understood in this world except for those who are members of the octave so like you know some sort of secret unveiled might might happen here if there's any way you want to try to prepare or like get a leg up on the next trial do some investigation find out what what it might be that is an option if you want to go to one of the landmarks here on the map just to see if there's anything you know waiting for you there you are welcome to do that also I would just ask not the Adelier since that is how we will sort of conclude the day. Anyone want to go first any ideas? Hellgram it bounds into Richter's place. Hello bud time for our day. Okay I love this freaking energy dude. Come on what are we gonna do today? I can't I was you said open door power yeah no I know but I guess it's 515 in the morning yeah. Oh what's that what you sleep? Are those chanley's? You guys know that? That's weird yeah these are my jammies. Well I guess we could I don't know watch the sunrise together and then go our separate ways to do shit. Well I I usually spend about six to seven hours in quiet contemplation thinking about life and death and stuff. Oh well yeah but what is Richter's? Oh yeah listen to a lot of Fallout boy. I guess I could see what Lord of it is doing. Yeah he seems like he'd be down to party with you today. Well okay well there may maybe we could have a good lunch cool cool okay I'll go see what Lord of it is doing. Alright hellgram it bounds down and encounter it well where is Lord of it? I'm down at the edge of the world. Yeah he was sleeping with Lord of it. He is good with heights. You see that he's during the night he slept poorly and he struggled to sleep well so he used a spade to dig himself a small trench to try to help him sleep a little bit better to make a little space to nestle in there. It kind of pisses the people in the surrounding tinsel. That's what I was gonna say. Yeah your next door neighbor is dusty underside. Yeah blue collar dwarf came over like that's really loud please I'm gonna get my 40 weeks I'm gonna be a real grumpy morning. I apologize friend now. Great voice. Great voice you got there. Great voices talk alike that's what I was saying alright. Now a bit could you come away from the edge a little bit I've got a thing you know heights. I thought we could hang today come on let's go to town. Walk with me hell pervado thinking about going to the eggs and having a fuck about alright there's another's it's not near the end. I make a confession to you. I know we've got to know each other well but I slept fitfully and I wanted to discuss it. Tell me. Do remember the singer the the racist singer that we all hated. The racists are yes the fortuna the racist singer we all hated. Do you remember for argument say I'll say yes. Okay well she was killed in the last competition do you remember? We heard a number. No no my other query to you do you remember Stinkball. Oh yes I remember Stinkball. Well this is my conversion to you when the thing I find so troubling I wished both of them dead. Oh I wish I didn't just I don't know how to say this but I wished both of them dead and then they were it it's as though my I could not shake the feeling as I slept that my wishing made it so. Listen I know don't feel bad listen we're in a competition where it's it's every creature for them. I know I know that but it there can be only one you know there's some part of me in some sense I can't help but feel that because I didn't connect with them more in some sense or because I had such a distaste for them I wished them dead and then they died. Have you wished anyone else dead? It comes this long pause does not bow well for our friendship. For some reason I feel as though you would be an lovely. Alright, yeah you've made your way to the eggs within which you saw absolute zero head in which one would you go into egg two I want to say egg three and had this incredible spiritual experience and and did not quite reveal to you the nature of that experience but you you make your way to these eggs there are eight eggs all lined up in a row and they are all feature these sort of openings with a Roman numeral above labeling them one through eight and they all appear to be open. Hello, I apologize for the model and start to the morning. Now we have arrived and now our business may begin so here's what I ask of you I wish I have a fuck about in the eggs but when I saw absolute zero it seemed that he got a little if you're pardon scrambled so what I'd like it for you hell grab it to go inside and never fuck about and then come out and tell me what what happens. Oh it will define I will remind you hell grab it you do want to stay on my good side just in case. And he tries to give him a hearty pat on the back but you just break it solid like clock like mandibles claws down rock. Yeah good. I I love this if this is the thing you do with your your time hell graham it will be what you would I kind of lured him into it if he doesn't want to that's fine but I wanted to get this way I was going to find somebody to try to do this with an hell gram it came to me so. Alright no I I hell gram it's all for it. Alright you have these eight eggs all lined up numbered one through eight which one do you choose egg two Brutee egg two wait wait wait wait wait wait before you go and egg two wait egg two is the one he went in right egg three is the one okay thank you egg two is fine before you wait wait ah and he runs back to his satchel and he finds some like paper and grab some charcoal out of the fire because it's the morning so the fire is burned down yeah it tries to take some notes because absolutely no help what's the emergency so please if you're trying to document why you're in there for for posterity on the sand I assure you do not but oh I am absolutely sure yes I would never try to rob you of the limelight history or whatever you alright alright well alright bud I shall do so in into it I go okay you step into the second egg Lord of it you see hell gram it just kind of vanish into the darkness as he passes through the aperture into egg number two and as soon as he vanishes into that darkness the aperture ah shuts and he is now trapped inside larvae puts his ear on the outside of the shell give me a perception check just to see how much of the following scene you are able to hear the perception check is a natural 20 holy shit you can hear it all my man oh thank god that would have made honestly Griffin from an engineering perspective Rachel thanks you certainly yeah sure yeah no I guess you guys are not going to have to you know hop off the call as hell gram it has this moment I'm not in this scene so I was barely paying attention anyways okay for sure okay I would prefer Travis I worked hard for this information I prefer traveling yeah Travis will hear it rick this one know it okay you you are standing in a a small obviously darkened room but the darkness in here is so absolute that the dimensions of this space become like really really abstract instantly and you can tell that you're standing but you can't really see the ground beneath your feet you're just kind of like in this void and as you are in there you see a sudden light that it takes your eyes a moment to adjust to and you see this diamond shape come out of the central stone of your grim war on your wrist and you see the holographic projection of Chris your personal assistant appear and a voice comes from this this projection and says hi I'm Chris your arcane assistant here on the island I noticed that you've chosen to spend your time within one of our eggs today are are you at all familiar with what a way to inside no not in the least bit Chris I see these eggs are one of our most profound educational tools you see the ziggurat is just as much a learning facility as much as it is a sort of a locus for all magical energies that inter-invited did you say locus oh right and we have designed these eggs to transport their inhabitants to one of the eight eras of our world so that you can experience what it was like during that time and that that is what we will be simulating for you today I say simulate but it will be just as if you were present during this era in which I can read to quite quite ancient history um and if you are ready we will begin with the simulation I am ready as rain then let us away into the second era of our history the era of manifestation suddenly you are not standing on ground anymore you are floating in an infinite vacuum of nothingness you look down at your hands and there's nothing there the paper and charcoal is not there your hands are not there you are not there you are floating in a void of oblivion and your consciousness is still very much kind of present and aware of what is happening and no living thing is supposed to see what you are seeing right now and for just a moment you feel absolute frigid terror coursing through your body as you are confronted by by nothing and then in an instant there is a spark of light hundreds of miles in in the distance just a faint flickering and then from that radiating in all directions is everything in this moment you are witnessing what is essentially the big bang you are present at the birth of the extant universe and it is all sort of flying flying past you consuming you creating you I need you to make a wisdom saving show for me please it would be a 15 15 fantastic it's too much it's too much for you to kind of bear your mind is having trouble kind of comprehending the the nature of creation itself but this energy you realize is something profound it is something extremely powerful and you decide you can kind of you can kind of ride the wave a little bit if you open your mind and you kind of just let this this moment of creation happen around you you allow yourself to be a part of it rather than trying to like wrestle with comprehending it you realize that there is incredible power here that even though it is some simulation of you know prehistoric past you feel an enlightenment settle upon you and you feel arcane energy absolutely coursing through your body you feel yourself thrombing with energy and understanding and you feel yourself connected with magic in a way that you have never even come remotely close to before I'm going to allow you to open up the list of spells anything that's not claimed second level or below you can just pick and we are going to add that to your spell sheet as you have this moment of magical enlightenment okay it needs to be a wizard spell with the checkmark next to it and not yellow that means that it has been claimed but any can trip first level or second level spell you will now get to choose sort of outside the the boundaries of how we will otherwise normally assign these things well I'm looking down the list and you know what I think I think that it's only appropriate that I get scorching ray yeah okay that's a second level spell I believe yes okay I'm going to put that in your name please go into your your character sheet and make sure you add that spell to your list under the second level spells that you all now have access to as you're a third level Travis we will also now need to get rid of the home brew version of your original spell that we kind of came up to we came up with because it is a second level spell and now just give you the second level version of that with her in bloom you can now add that okay um yeah you you feel uh heat radiating through your body the primal heat of the universe uh and you know other times where you all have gotten these spells on the island you it has been through like the absorption of some memory of one of your fellow fallen aspirants this is not that this is like you have been bestowed a you know a modicum of power from the big bang itself it is it is pure in a way it still shows up as a like crystal in your grim war uh but it is it is yours and in this moment like you you feel like you may be the only person here who has two kind of natural inherent spells one that you were born with and one that you have been granted in this moment of enlightenment it is a wild and overwhelming feeling with a 15 on your wisdom saving throw i'm going to say that you are definitely going to be thrown for a loop you are definitely going to be sort of in this weird euphoric elated state uh similar to the one that absolute zero was in uh but you have not lost your mind which maybe would have happened if you had ruled a very bad wisdom saving throw here and then suddenly as it sort of came upon you the big bang vanishes and the aperture opens and your eyes adjust to normal sunlight you are standing there again you're holding the paper and the charcoal in your your hands uh but you also have this new crystal in your grim war and a new spell at your command oh look out look out baby hell gram it's ready to raise some well hell gram it uh oh you you big guy he's not there well yeah but halfway theory got bored and headed out oh I'm over it I'm over it now if you hear as you come out though you do hear a splashing off near the falls hell gram hell gram I'm through all right uh and I have way through he got bored and it started to get kind of hot so he went to the falls and had a swim wash off get a fresh start on the day about the time the big bang started he just his attention started a wander so he went over to the uh falls and had a splash just like just like feeling good how was it oh amazing shall I show you the paper and the in the charcoal out of curiosity yes yeah watch this what do I add what's on the paper yeah nothing's on the paper but all the sudden it burst into flames whoa and so is the charcoal amazing I know I'm a I'm a pyromaniac maniac on the floor I would head into one of these other eggs immediately if that hadn't taken you so long ow ow ow any puts his hands in the water without the fire maximum fun a work road network of artist own shows supported directly by you