The Mazarin Stone - Part Two

For just £6 a month, binge ad-free adventures in full and have access to so much more over at patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co. On behalf of the best man, where are you, canty cats? Here. There he is. It's time to toast our stag. He ducked out with the paintball punishment. But he can't duck out of this. I know he's an old stag, a geriatric stag, but he can still down a pint. Let's have you, Stammo. To Stammo! Thanks for, you know, filling in the gap where Greg can't, you know. Who can't? He's great. Greg Cancelmere is a really, really nice guy, yeah? And I'm lucky to have him as my brother-in-law. But soon to be. Yeah, don't get too excited. Nadia might get enlightened at that spa and ditch you. But he, he struggles in settings like this. Oh, his best man is nice. Oh yeah, Greg Cancelmere. How'd you meet him? We had coffee this morning. Oh, where'd you go? To the cafe across the road? Haha. No, we were sat right there, dude. You slept through the whole thing. Oh. Well, I really was out of it. What is this? A note. Oh, I don't know. What does it say? The Maserin Stone. Come and do the intro then. Hello. Sherlock P. Holmes, that the P stands for podcast. Because podcast is your middle name. And you said you'd do the intro. For part two. For God's sake. Yeah, I know, Porter. I'm landing the goddamn exile crab. That's why. Have you thought about reducing yours? Yeah, sure. And have you thought about shutting up? I will analyze my vocal output, Master Somborn. Okay, I'm going to lay this baby down. Nice and smooth right here. Oh, God. Where are we? Porter, where are we? Forgive me, Master Somborn. My vocal hiatus was timed at 45 hertz seconds. As most humans would find that an acceptable time. Porter, where the hell are we, man? We have cast into the metaplanetary field. Meta one and two are gas. Meta three has over 100 moons. And I only see one here. We are on the planet of Meta- Okey-dokey. Welcome to Meta 4. Coming in hot, baby. Oh! Oh! Master Somborn, I am alive! I got it! Porter, shut up! Master Somborn, I am intact! Do you think that I got it? Because I got it, bro! No, Master! I detect a cliff edge! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Okay! We are... We might be dangling off a cliff edge. Okay, so... Don't move! Affirmative! What planet did you say this was again? Meta 4, Master. Well, this cliff ranger... It doesn't feel like a metaphor to me. The lake statue you used to... Ah! God's sake! Yeah, very funny. I know you didn't put the Sherlock statue in here by yourself, Sherlock. Hi, Marianna. Hilarious, everyone. See? My wax work can be fun. Not really that fun for me. How are you feeling? Tender. But otherwise, fine. Why are we looking all bemused and quizzical? I didn't say something stupid last night, did I? I know you're discussing it in your staging, some kind of intervention. Oh, relax. Just make sure that Spider-Man towel stays in place, please. Did you get Greg Cantlemere's number, Watson? Uh, yes, I did. He's in the stag WhatsApp group. He doesn't go out on the source much, so I helped him pick places. Why? You know you're going to see him at the wedding on Saturday. Well, I'm just rather curious about his letter. I'm leaving that piece of paper around like you're Neville Chamberlain. I get it. Right? It's intriguing. The Mazarin Stone. I can't quite understand the relevance. Why would you leave a detective agency such a note? Hmm? You're actually serious. I think we should look into this. Right, hold on. Of course you'd say that. And what is that supposed to mean? Well, we all know. Even Archie knows. Look at that expression on his face. I have done a little research, and I think we should give Cant's a brief call and see if he can enlighten us further. Sherlock. He clearly wants our attention. Stamo's wedding is two days away. I'm editing like a maniac just so I can have the weekend free. Marianna, you've got meetings all day tomorrow. Ah, yeah, that's true. Again, just so we can make the wedding. So why put something on our plate right now? Huh? Especially, you know... What? You know... I know. Do I? You know everything, so I know you know when I say you know. No? You are discrediting the motivations of Greg Cantlemere. Can I get out of my towel first, please? What's your beef with a guy? I don't have beef with anybody. I... He's... Look, he's great. Yeah, but he was drunk. He's going through a hard time. Stamo made him best man because Nadia is really worried about him, and we all agreed it would... You know, it would lift him up a bit, build him up. Well, that's great. That's... That's sweet of you guys. Is him reaching out? Yeah, but, Mary, can we just... Can we consider this after the wedding, please? And can we consider the rest of this conversation once I am wearing more than just a Spider-Man towel? Fine. Fine. Thank you. Ugh, he's right. Yes. An infrequent occurrence, but an extremely frustrating one nonetheless. Oh! See? Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Told ya. Ejector seat. Ingenious, Master Somborn. Whew. Rage. A genius made stupid. Uh, border? A Trogean scalp. Stand back, Master Somborn. Don't come any closer, dude. I've got a gold-fire blaster. I'll blow you away, man. It shoots gold, Master. That is ideal. The Trojan skin burns to its touch. Your father. He had the stone. Where is it? Bring your father here. Ra- Oh, you want me to call him? He would come see if I was okay. He's got a heart of gold. Hey, that's a metaphor. He has a heart of gold. Shut your human mouth. But, you know, he doesn't really write. He doesn't actually have a heart full of gold. You, on the other hand... Oh. Whew. I like this thing. Master Somborn, we have a visitor. A what? Where are you come from? The asteroid dusts were right. They were what now? Master Derek Somborn would come. And with him, the stone. The stone? Your pocket. Wait, what? This is my father's. The world is in your hands, Derek Somborn. Analyzing metaphor. It is no metaphor. What the hell is this? Some kind of rock? That, Derek Somborn, is the Muzarin Stone. Cut. Steve. Yes? Muzarin. Muzarin. Oh, fuck. What did I say? Muzarin. Oh, bollocks. Mate, sorry. That's... I'm taking the piss today, aren't I? No, no, no. We'll reset it. We'll go again. Yes. Yep, sure. Come on, Steve. Fucking hell, mate. Muzarin. Muzarin. Muzarin. Muzarin. Muzarin. Okay, we'll go for another one. Yes. Okay. What's all that time? What? On DVDs. Listen to that. The DVD player? Yeah, listen to that word. Oh, yeah. Wow. Maybe we did put up with that. How can you of all people stand their shells? It's somewhat more bearable than the on-screen drama. Hey, come on. This is Spacey Sci-Fi royalty. Over 25 years old. Besides, these are outtakes, mate. Behind the scenes, the drama doesn't get the chance to build up before someone cocks up. Oh, God. Oh, knackered. Oh, my God. What the hell is wrong with us? It's... oh, God, it's nearly midnight. How... how long have we been watching this? Oh, I can tell you what's wrong with us. No one listens to me. That's what's wrong. I know how you got me. Film night. Get me all excited, then boom, I'll switch a route. Yeah, yeah. All this trick in the book, blah, blah, blah. Then you get your film, you buttered me up, I fell for it, and now we're trying to do some sort of case when we don't have the time for it. Also, Kant's is great, but he is a geeky guy that doesn't get the weight of what we do, and we... Perhaps it's not something from the movie. Oh, God, what? We're looking to see what the clues are in the movie, and the DVD extras. What if he is alluding to a cast member? Perhaps a murderous one. Well, I can tell you, the bloke that plays the robot is dead. The commander father was at January 6th. No. Wait, really? Apparently. Commander's son born? Yep. And the guy that plays Derek's son born is a Buddhist, runs a silent retreat in Wales. Ah, I knew you weren't watching the movie. You were on your phone. I was supplementing the movie experience with the research and activity on my device, thank you. Sherlock. Mm-hmm. Please step away from the light. It shows the signs of a hyperfixation, but I assure you Watson, I am keeping it at a mild intrigue. I will not drift towards its blazing light. I meant your waxwork, the light's been on by his head for ages. He looks a bit droopy in the forehead. Mm-hmm. Right, well, I am droopy in the eyes and, well, everywhere else, you... Mm-hmm. Get some sleep and stop thinking about this. You're as bad as that big evil bloke trying to steal the Mazarin stone. You okay? Yes. Just researching. Right, well, I'm gonna go and have a sober, normal night's sleep in my own bed. You are gonna... Also go to bed, but I am going to take Archie out. Oh, I can take him out if you want. No, it's okay. I'm going down there anyway, right? And you can sleep in my room, right, chubby boy? No, I'm in here tonight. I was talking to Archie. Oh, that's low self-esteem, John. Work on that. Yeah. Oh, look at him. Oh, you look like one of those horrible aliens, but you're much nicer. Mm-hmm, and more squishable. I was right. Sorry, what? It doesn't relate to the plot of that ridiculous movie after all. What doesn't? Our friend is a collector. Oh, Greg? Indeed. This is his website. Eesh, nice guy, but bad web designer. And at the bottom here, collection is property of Lord Cantalmere trading limited. God almighty. If we search that, we get an article here, regarding a failed insurance claim and a warning for the collectors everywhere. What's the warning exactly? The insurance claim from Lord Cantalmere trading was rejected on the grounds of lack of proven value and unauthorized relocation of asset. What asset is this? The stone from our God awful film. He has the actual stone from the movie. He had it, yes, until it was stolen six months ago. Oh, mate. He could have just told us. Agreed. Right, let's be normal people for the next few normal days. No chasing crime, please. Thank you. Good night, fellow earthlings. Anyone puts that wax figure next to my bed in the middle of the night? And I am moving out. Thank you. Bye. Archie, come on. It's kind of rush hour, mate. You guys are going to get there early, yeah? Yeah, yeah. We'll be there early to help. And you want me to bring, what, beers? Yeah, that'd be good. Yeah, we're at the venue now. Your wedding is in 30 hours. Yeah, it's a set up, mate. Plus, you know, staying here with the families beforehand, they all get a chance to meet while it's still, you know, low key. There's a canty boy there. Want to meet Greg? No, it's not, actually. What? Why? I don't know. Arch, come on. But a room at this big bloody Surrey house and everything for three nights is like 800 quid. What do you think? He's just going to turn up on the day? I don't know, maybe. I bet no he was pleased. Well, I mean, look, I just don't know where he is, mate. Do you? Hi, John. I, erm, have a vague idea. I'll call you back, Samo. Watson, you remember Greg Cantlemere? Mm-hm. He's taking us to see his collectibles. Care to join? Oh, God. This is unbelievable. Whoa, whoa, hey. Life-sized droguian wall. Oh, Jesus, he's massive. Yeah, can give you a bit of a fright when you forget he's there. Tell me about it. Got a life-sized Sherlock in the flat at the moment, and I'm not talking about this one right here. You've seen it. Oh, yeah, of course. Very impressive. Looks just like him. Whoa, you've got Mazer and Stone action figures. Look at this. I'm Derek Sunborn. E-by-Laser loser. I got some uglies on my tail. Porter, man, will you shut up? I'm Derek Sunborn. E-by-Laser loser. How come it's out of the box? Yeah, yeah, that's just one of a few. It's a third-generation figure, that one. Because the gun holster is like... You can see it's kind of purple, whereas first-generation, er, here. Ah, in the box? Of course. See, the gun holster is red, so... How much is this? Do you think? Derek in the box. I'd say probably four grand. What? No way? Oh, yeah. I mean, what really sells is the stuff from the set. Not the actual merch, so... You've got stuff from the set, like from the actual film itself? Yeah, yeah, let me just... You know what this is? Gold Blaster? Yeah, the Gold Blaster. They had four on the set. Um, Temple Studios have one. Damon Hinchcliffe has one. The director? Yeah, one is with the prop designer, Jane Marsh, and then one is with me. Ha! That's amazing. And these here? Yeah, the helmets, armour, all from the movie. They're actually the droguin breastplate. That's actually completely unique, because it was made on the fly. Er, they didn't have multiples. I'm the only one that has that. This is the... So they ran a comic. Holy crap! Please tell me, you haven't read all these. Of course I have. So that's 500 issues of the Mazarin Stone comic, although it was titled Mazarin Stone Galaxy War. Galaxy War was going to be the title of the next movie, and the plot line was from these comics, so... Right. Right, how come they didn't make another? Harley Sylveus quit. Oh, God, yeah. Of course, of course, to be Yoga Guru or something. Yeah, just... He hated the industry and wanted out, so that kind of collapsed the whole project, really. He just lost all his money with American Pope. Sorry, American Pope? Yeah. Do you not... So he basically funded this big kind of college-style comedy called American Pope. He wrote it himself, made himself lead in it. Wait, yeah, look. Meet Mikey. Hey, baby, what's hanging? He just graduated high school. Class of 2005, party! And now, he's going to college. I got in of Cardinals. Uh, Mom? Welcome to the Vatican City. Vatican City, man. Wait, you can't sneak the chicks? Of course not. Are you allowed to party? From Wolf Studios, starring Harley Sylveus. Hey, Mary Magdalene is hot. American Pope, the father, the son, and half price on sparrows. Ooh, that's not holy water. I got it out there. Rated T for T. I got it out there. Good God. Yeah. That was quite something. It was quite the flop, too. Oh, you don't say. Get this, it came out on Saturday 2nd of April, 2005. Right, Miss April Fool's Day. It should have been then, judging by that trailer. They did that deliberately. Moved it from Friday 1st of April to the Saturday. And guess what? Pope John Paul II. No. He didn't. He did. The Pope dies the day the movie comes out. By the end of the weekend, every major theatre had it pulled out of respect. Oh, Harley Sylveus, you poor bastard. Yep. He moved to the UK because I guess we were the only people that cared to have him on our screens. Then he did a kind of bad kids TV show called Orius. And yeah, lives his life in the Welsh wilderness. Broke and teaching yoga. Meh. Sorry, you didn't come here to hear all this. No, it's fascinating, honestly. You should put all this in your best man's speech. Oh, don't. Yeah, a bit. Nervous? Mate, don't worry. Honest. Even the best speakers are nervous. It's normal. You have all these items from the film itself. What is actually missing, Greg? The, um, the actual Mazarin Stone. Wait, so, yeah, Sherlock said you had the Mazarin Stone, the real one they used on screen. That's right. So they destroyed them and kept one. And it was auctioned for charity in 2007, I believe. Um, yeah. Yeah, a Hollywood event and, well, it goes for around $80,000, I think, to a guy called Pete Drucker. Not attached to the movie in any way, just a fan. Wow, okay. So this is... Oh, this is big stuff. This is... They knew. They knew from all the big sci-fi shows and movies that this stuff matters to preserve the value of the rare item. So, yeah, it was with Drucker in Chicago and he would lease it out to conventions and stuff, but he'd made a ton more money by this point anyway. And then, just out of the blue, he started the black hole. What's the black hole? It was an ARG. Okay, sorry. What is that? No worries. An ARG is an alternate reality game. It's like it's an interactive, large-scale... I mean, they can be small-scale, but this was vast, a narrative kind of game, really. Kind of fiction meets reality, code-breaking clues, puzzles to find and ultimately discover or defeat the end game of it. Um, yeah. The black hole. How long did that go on for? Do you know the story? I don't. Right. Well, it's famous because it lasted years and years. Drucker actually died a couple of years after it started and everyone thought the game was over, but it kept going. Um, there were over 4,500 players. Shit. Yeah? Yeah, it was taken really, really seriously. Like, there were fights in the street, there were total, like, sabotages. Some of the players, because it's like, it's like 2019 by this point, so there's content creators and fans literally uploading their game plan, their code breaks, streaming them on Twitch, and people would just sabotage their route or access to another clue. And these clues, they were like, they were hidden in real life. Completely, yeah. Cool stuff. So, sorry, I said it would be quick and it's nowhere near that. Um, so, during knockdown, I realised that if you, um, look at the stars, not like the movie stars, but the actual stars in the film, from the perspective of, um... You're joking. No, no, I'm not. Honestly, if you look at the opening shot of the film, it's the, like, it's just the stars, right? From recollection, yeah. Just a shot of space, from what I recall. Right, yeah, but that... So that shot is taken from the Droma Nebula, which is where the Darmantius shoots out from right at the start of the story. Right. But, so, from that view, the star that's glowing blue, a lot of people don't see it in the digital remaster, but in the actual film, film version, you can see it. That's actually not a star. That's the Mazary. The source of the universe. Right. From where the stone is from. On the ARG website, you have that same opening shot as the site background, but the blue dot is in a slightly different location. Right? If you screenshot the opening shot from the website of that space scape and map it onto a map of the world, our world. Earth. Yeah. Well, the actual, the Mazary, the blue dot, sits over Barric. Okay, what's Barric? Barric is a village in Oman. It's where they shot all the metaphor and rotus and the cholera's planet scenes. It's where Derek first sees the Mazaryn stone. Wow, okay, that's great stuff, mate. So I noticed that. I've realized that at this point, no one knows this apart from me. That this ARG clue is pointing exactly to the filming location. And when you've got big clues, you could call this hotline. A hotline? Yeah, mad. Who'd have thought hotlines were still a thing? Yeah, you could call the hotline and reveal some info and get some more clues. I say to the operator, this is my guess, right? Barric blah blah and he says, great, press two. I go, okay, automated message plays for a bit. Just, you know, thank you for your call blah blah. And then it asks me to press zero. Later, it's eight and it just literally 25 minutes and I finally think I've made it. It cuts me off. I try again the next day and the next and it's the same every time. So I write down the numbers it sends me in every time I call. 2087 3647 56519185 16 digits. I stare at it and stare at it and realize that's a GPS location. I bang it into maps and there it is the exact site outside Barric. I pack my bags. I am gone. I fly to Iman and I get, well, so I got a taxi but the guy would only take me to Barric itself. And then I'm trying to find this spot. There's like three or four houses. One guy comes out and says he can take me. So he takes me and I was boiling hot on his motorbike in the desert sun and he drops me off and he's gone. And I'm just left there. What was there? Nothing. Just sand. What? Yep. God, I'm too invested in this but what then? What happened? The same thing that happened in the film. What do you mean? I realize the GPS has taken me to the exact spot where Derek finds the stone in his pocket. I'm stood in that precise spot. When? Impossible. Nope. What? Tell me. I reach into my pocket. No. And I pull out. You're kidding me. The Mazarin stone. What? This is unbelievable. How? How? Yeah, with the key to the universe my man. Oh my God, this is insane. I mean, well, I found out about a year later from his daughter that the driver, like, well, literally the only guy on the bike in the village, he was paid by the family to drive this thing. He didn't know what it was. It was basically the second I called the hotline, he was probably put on alert and, yeah, pick up any generic questioner you see, wandering the desert by himself and sneak it into their pocket. What a guy. I always thought he had an expensive bike for the village. I mean, I see why. The Drucker's kept him comfortable, I guess. God, I almost don't want to know that part of the story, but that is amazing, mate. Truly amazing. Well, you definitely don't want to know this side of the story. The robbery. Shit. Yeah, of course. So with that ARG, Drucker became a bit of a legend, as you can imagine. And, yeah, I did too a bit, to be honest. I kind of, I wanted to follow in his footsteps a bit and share it with the fandom as best I could. So, well, there was a convention in Birmingham and I offered it to them to lease it out to the con. Have it out, big glass case. People can get their pictures with it and all that. Some of the cast were going to be there, Harley Silvius. Derek himself, nice. Yeah, brilliant. The Princess of Numaria, Helen Reed, a couple of the droguian, anyway, yeah, it felt amazing to be part of the kind of assembly of the Mazarin Stone phenomenon. I was the guy that had the actual stone. The main character of the Mazarin Stone is the Mazarin Stone. That's what Damon Hinchkiff said himself. So, what happened to it? It was in a glass display where two of the panels kind of converged. On the Sunday, the last day of the con, a classic smash and grab. Fire alarm goes off, big crowd of people all heading out, all filing past it. Some kid in a hoodie smashes the thing, grabs the stone and legs it. Oh, man. Footage? Yeah. Here. Watched it a million times, mate. And it took me four months just to get the police to hand it over. How many other cameras do we have? Two. So, scroll to this angle. And then this one. White male, 5'8", very athletic. The way he deals with that security gate. Yeah, no, only thing. Police said he was 6'1". Pause. Oh, okay. There you are, elevator shoes, maybe just three inches worth, but he's combining it with high-rise trousers, a tapered fit. And a shorter hooded jacket as well. That helps. As does the posture. Neutral pelvis elongated back, shoulders back, elevated chin too, a little risky given the act, but the man wants to adjust his height, it would seem. And he has done so convincingly. We think this could be an experienced burglar, taking a different body shape, basically, just to pull this off? Perhaps. The physical presence has been given meticulous thought. Speaking of, um, meticulous thought, Nads is messaging me again. Who is Nads? Are they from the film? Nads? Nadia? As in the woman who is getting married tomorrow? Ah, right, yes, of course. She's really got this thing planned down to a T. And I don't, I really don't want to be the T-I-T that cocks it up, if you know what I mean. No, of course, of course, we can put a pin in this, can't we? Until the wedding is all sorted. Can't we? Na na na! Na na na! Hey, it's wedding day, big guy. Check me out. It's like James Bond, Johnny Bond, Shaken, Not-ster, well, actually neither. Just a beer. Oh, it's going to be a good one, mate. Going to be a good one. Hey, oh, that's my bow tie. What I'm going to do, I think they look stupid when they're done up. So most of the day, and during the ceremony, I'm going to wear the tie, right, normal tie. And then once I'm on the whiskeys around 11, 11.30, I'm going to put the bow tie on, but not tie it. Sort of a Sinatra-type crooner look, you know, sleazy, but suave sleaze. You know it. Okay, just pop that in your pocket, because you're clearly not listening. Right, Archie Boy, time to sort this hair situation. Oh, is that the fair maiden of his spanya? Heyo! Hola, hola, hola! Jau, yowsers. Look at you. Ah, gracias, gracias. Sí, en efecto, soy la bella doncella de España. And who are you wearing? Oh, thank you so much for asking. It's such an honor to be nominated. I am wearing something, something from H&M or TK Max, I can't remember. I wanted the Thara thing, but there was a sale, and it was too busy, and I got overwhelmed and run away. Beautiful, amazing. And who are you wearing with such sophistication? Thank you so much. This is the suit that I only get out of funerals. But that does mean I have in each pocket, travel tissues. Oh, yay. But I don't remember where it's from. Hey, the master detective yesterday gave a full wardrobe rundown, he could probably tell me. Hey, mate. What did he do? The Mazarin stone, they got stolen off Kant's. Just call him Greg, please. No, Kant'sy boy, Kant's stop me now. Anyway, yeah, Sherlock deduced from what the guy was wearing, that his height was being disguised, and yeah, it was all pretty cool. Oh, nice one, Sherlock. But now he's being all socially anxious. Why are you being socially anxious? He won't talk, he's just gonna keep staring in the mirror. And so you should, that's a great suit. Yeah, great suit, mate, love it. Mate. Shut the... Oh. Okay, please don't tell me that is the wax work, and he's gone missing on the day of the wedding. Please don't tell me that. That, um, is the wax work, and he's gone missing on the day of the wedding. Shit. Oh.